Spoonful of Polyamory Podcast
Spoonful of Polyamory is your cozy seat at the kitchen table—where love is abundant, questions are welcome, and the tea is always hot. ☕💕
Hosted by a real-life polyamorous couple Goro (Itsthemazoku) and Asani, this podcast dives deep into the world of kitchen table polyamory, where connection, compassion, and open conversation take center stage. Whether you’re new to polyamory, exploring ethical non-monogamy, or just curious about what it all means, we’re here to help break it down one spoonful at a time.
Each episode, we explore real-life scenarios, explain key terms, and offer a safe, judgment-free space to reflect, learn, and laugh along the way. From relationship structures and communication tips to navigating jealousy and defining your own poly journey—we’re serving up authenticity, vulnerability, and plenty of love.
So pull up a chair. Everyone’s welcome at this table.
Spoonful of Polyamory Podcast
Ep. 5 New Boundaries | Spoonful of Polyamory Podcast
We return to the podcast after a long break to catch up with listeners while cooking dinner, showcasing our natural dynamic when discussing relationship topics.
• Married on Halloween almost two years ago while maintaining our polyamorous lifestyle
• Discussion of new partners – including a boyfriend (M) who has been in the picture for around 18 months
• Recent discovery that "jealousy" was actually feeling neglected when not getting enough individual time together
• Learning to balance having friends over with needing reset days as a couple
• Setting and respecting boundaries with metas, including what's comfortable in shared spaces
• Exploring dating philosophy – focusing on what brings joy to potential partners rather than physical aspects
• Communication as the most important element in any polyamorous relationship
• Discussion of when and how to share boundaries on first dates with potential new partners
• Testing a new, more natural podcast format that fits better with our conversation style
Thanks for sitting at our table! If you enjoy this more casual kitchen-table format, please let us know in the comments and we'll continue with this approach.
🍽️ Welcome to the Spoonful of Polyamory Podcast 🥄❤️
Hosted by ItsTheMazoku and AsaniDragonscale, this show is your cozy seat at the kitchen table where we serve up real talk about polyamory, relationships, communication, and connection. Whether you're polyam-curious, seasoned in ethical non-monogamy, or just love good conversation—there’s a spoonful here for everyone.
We break down terms, explore real-life scenarios, and create a safe, affirming space to learn and laugh along the way.
🫖 Pull up a chair. Pour some tea. Let’s talk polyamory—together.
welcome back to a spoonful of polyamory podcast. It's been a while. It has been a while, um, so I just wanted to do a little bit of a thing today where we refresh you guys on what's been going on and also cook dinner. Most of it's already been cooked, but just kind of we talk about kitchen table.
Speaker 2:It's more productive for us to talk when we're doing something yes, we've noticed that.
Speaker 1:Uh, it's kind of why we haven't really done episodes a lot, because sitting down element is really difficult.
Speaker 1:So it just feels unnatural yes, so we don't have these conversations while we're just sitting around a lot of the times this happened when we're in the bed or we're like laying down and relaxing. So a different podcast kind of vibe. We're gonna sit here, have a conversation and just kind of update you guys on what's going on. You know, we're gonna do an audio and a visual aspect of this, just because we want to show you how we are as a couple and how we do things when we talk amongst each other, probably. So, uh, just to kind of get you guys up to speed. Uh, we are married now, um, and that's just kind of one of the most recent updates that happened.
Speaker 1:We actually got married on halloween too, so, uh, it's been almost a year and a half now yes we've got six months until our two-year anniversary that's weird to know that we've been married for two years yeah nah, I love it. Actually it's uh.
Speaker 2:Those don't look ready yet.
Speaker 1:It's an interesting tidbit and you know, with recent developments that we got going on. We have also new people in our lives, some that are new relationships, which is funny too, because my mom, you know, when we got married and then I was telling her I was on a date with somebody, she was like you still doing that shit and I was like, yeah, uh, it don't just stop because you start, you know, marriage. Some people it could be a hey, we were doing this while we were single or, you know, together in a relationship, but now that we're married, you know, we keep it tight knit, but uh, for me and the wife not so much, polyamory is kind of who we are and what we are. So, uh, would you like to tell the audience babe, uh, what new developments have you recently been a part of?
Speaker 2:um, so I have a boyfriend and we actually started talking slash dating right before we got married, so I'm not going to say his name because I don't know if he's okay with me saying his name.
Speaker 1:I thought you asked him that like a while back.
Speaker 2:Don't remember what his answer was you know what we do, just say initials. Okay, well, we're going to refer to him as M, just say initials. Okay, well, we're gonna refer to him as m, um we literally have been together almost as long as we've been married.
Speaker 1:um I was about to say I was like marriage, what I was like we've been you, no, no, no, no, no, no. Because my brain was thinking like, okay, we've been together almost six years. The fuck, you mean marriage part. And I was like, oh wait, you know what I was thinking?
Speaker 2:the wrong thing, look at team um, other than that, there's not much going on with me. It's just been work and oh, we are going to chicago week.
Speaker 1:For a convention, yes, yep, which is going to be fun.
Speaker 2:It's going to be me, mazuku and my boyfriend.
Speaker 1:Well, aside from that, I know, with us going to Chicago and you know, that's one thing, but what more I was talking so about was just recent developments, partners and stuff like that. So obviously, m is your recent partner. I myself, I have developed, if not friendships, or I wouldn't say they're full on connections. Yes, they're not full on relationships. Most of them are just connections with people that I have, um, you know, grown to get close with, as you could say, um, some people will say companions, some people say other things, but they, they are simply just that, people that I interact with because, again, well, us being polyamorous or ethical non-monogamy, it's probably ethical.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it's ethical non-monogamy.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I am not necessarily dating those people, but I am still connected with them. It could be, whether if it's physical or just emotional, but we're not necessarily dating, necessarily dating and that and that really is by choice. Um, because the parties and I may not be romantically on the same level, but we're still really great friends, so kind of you can say, basically friends with benefits, but you know, to each his own. Now, outside of that, I think a lot of things that we've recently developed or like learn about ourselves is you know, when you kind of get I don't know, people all say this when you kind of get married, you kind of get into an autopilot, you get comfortable.
Speaker 1:Yeah, you get really comfortable, and so no-transcript. I know people say it's just a piece of paper, but it's for us already been doing it without the ring itself.
Speaker 2:Right.
Speaker 1:So that's kind of where it's interesting and we have. I have learned a lot more about you and especially how you process certain things, like especially with one of the new individuals in my life. You know I won't say they've been consuming a lot of my time, but they are very.
Speaker 2:What he's trying to be nice about saying is that I learned that I got a little jealous the other night.
Speaker 1:Yeah, because that person was pretty much pursuing me very hard. They were pushing very hard.
Speaker 2:That's not to say I have any animosity towards anyone that he's talking to. I just felt a little neglected that night, which we rectified that.
Speaker 1:Yes, I might want to check your.
Speaker 2:I might have to put it on another five-minute timer.
Speaker 1:They don't look done.
Speaker 2:You may want to check your pan. That's hot enough to sear.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I'm about to right now. Um, but yes, like I was saying before, you know, that kind of happened, but I didn't realize what the issue was in the moment. I just realized that it was a thing I have to turn this fan on. I'm getting ready to. Oh, turn the fan on go. Go ahead, but I didn't really understand. It was a thing at first until later on. Are these even done? They don't look done.
Speaker 2:They're done, huh yeah.
Speaker 1:Okay.
Speaker 2:I don't want to burn the bottom of them.
Speaker 1:Okay, Can you also get me? Oh yeah, you might want to put them in that suit they can go in there to warm up yeah, yeah. But what I didn't realize if you can also pat me the butter what I didn't realize is that at some point, what was going on was this person was taking a lot of my attention, and you know you still needed your personal alone time with me too.
Speaker 2:So can you cut me?
Speaker 1:off, yeah. So basically, what we found out was what we need to do is just make make sure we can continue having individual days for ourselves, and you know, our house is kind of built for our friends to come over at any point in time and, you know, hang out and step away from their world and that's good. So I just had to come to the realization that yo, while I'm still we had a lot of people over that week. Oh yeah.
Speaker 2:The previous two weeks we had a lot of company.
Speaker 1:Yes, and while I'm completely cool with having company, this one needs a day or two to reset sometimes, and it's not bad. I am very extroverted. They are extroverted in moderation, if that makes sense. So what we come to the conclusion is we just definitely need to make sure we have our own individual days, otherwise it could lead to one feeling like, hey, I'm not getting enough time, or hey, I think that's where that jealousy kind of was more so you just didn't get your own individual time, would you say yeah, I'd say that's about right but oh shit, besides that, that's just kind of about we've we've been lately, we've just kind of been doing our own thing.
Speaker 1:You know, we do a lot of body doubling, because that's just how we are. We don't.
Speaker 2:Hence the cooking session.
Speaker 1:Yes, granted, you've done a lot of your own thing already, and right now I'm doing a honey garlic steak, marinated it in honey garlic cloves and in time it has. Would you like me to to?
Speaker 2:I would dump a little bit of that out, okay, do we? We don't have any more paper towels, do we?
Speaker 1:oh yeah, we do. I bought like 20 of the pose oh shit yeah.
Speaker 1:So, uh, just to kind of get back on topic, you know, we're just trying to find ourselves and what we should and should not do, um, and just how we can make sure we plan individual time, because we often just do a lot of body doubling. You know, she will play her switch, she will scroll on Tik TOK or red note and I'll either edit a video or just be doing something related to work. And that's just kind of me consistently constantly and we'll go on weeks, if not days, just doing that and then don't even realize, oh snap, we haven't even spent our own individual time with each other.
Speaker 2:To be fair, when we have really stressful days at work, we don't want to do shit, which is fine.
Speaker 1:We just got to make the time to reconnect and make an active attempt at it yes and um, I at one point I was doing a thing that mondays was going to be our individual days, but I'm also starting a secondary podcast with my brother, uh, which is called the big Brothers of Destruction. We're going to be talking about wrestling, we're going to be doing hot takes and stuff like that, and that's going to be like a Monday, wednesday or Friday thing for me, and this week, interestingly enough, he's in Texas, so I have to do two episodes without him, but I could find a guest or something like that. It is what it is, but I say all that is that we had to learn how to collectively make time for each other outside of our normal day to day. Have we done dishes or anything recently?
Speaker 1:I just threw a load in just because I noticed we're low on forks.
Speaker 2:I did not turn it on yet Of course you didn't. I can use chopsticks and a spoon.
Speaker 1:We're trying to also get ready for our future roles in Japan. That's another thing as well. But just to say all that, we are now trying to learn how to make time for each other, and when we say we also do this thing where we have been doing oh, you just smashed something, that was a spider. Oh, okay, well, we have.
Speaker 2:It literally crawled over my hand, jeez.
Speaker 1:We've had our moments where we'll sit down in bed or like we'll wake up and just a Saturday morning and we just have these deep conversations about certain things and be like we probably should have put that on the pod. It's probably been really great on the pod.
Speaker 2:So and then we can't rehash the conversation because then it just feels like it's rehearsed.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, which reminds me we tried Also. We tried this thing too, where we were doing episodes and then suddenly something would happen, like with my laptop or something like that. So very frustrating things have happened in the last couple of days of filming or attempting to film when we have free time too.
Speaker 2:The last time we tried to film a full episode, you lost the audio like three times free time too.
Speaker 1:The last time we tried to film a full episode, you lost the audio like three times. No. So what happened was we had one really good take and then the laptop shut down at like the last minute of the clip and then all of a sudden it's like okay, cool, it's last, it's last second, we'll just put something there. But it kept your audio. What didn't keep mine.
Speaker 2:So it would have been um that that would be something for, like the blooper reels that would be, but I had deleted that because I was so pissed at it.
Speaker 1:How cooked do you want this?
Speaker 2:by the way, it just it just needs to be seared a little bit. It's fully cooked already okay.
Speaker 1:Okay, because I didn't know if this was like I would like the other one as well, please okay, I might actually still Okay.
Speaker 2:I can. If I want more later, I can pull more out of the freezer. You might just go ahead and pull another one out.
Speaker 1:It kind of looks good.
Speaker 2:It's got spinach and feta in it.
Speaker 1:Oh, it's Wait, wait. What is this before I up in this area and some butter will probably be really good.
Speaker 2:Or some wine, to kind of get the no, I don't need a sauce out of it.
Speaker 1:Well, only because.
Speaker 2:Because we've got it going with the rice.
Speaker 1:Well, it's because I'm saying because you see how the pan is.
Speaker 2:You just have to turn the heat down a little bit oh.
Speaker 1:You know, I just thought about it. It would be good to have a hard cam over the stove so they could see what we're cooking to.
Speaker 2:Well, we can show them pictures after.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:We'll add a picture of the meal after the video you would want to.
Speaker 1:You could use your phone or anything like that. You could take photos or something. Oh, so suddenly my phone is good enough to take photos with. No, it's not because it's an Android, it's totally is good enough to take photos with. No, it's not because it's an Android, it's totally not good enough. I only say that Try to do wide photos if you could please. I only say that because, in making sure all cameras are the same, that is a big thing.
Speaker 2:Well, they can't see what's in that baby, no, but I still want a picture of it. Okay, it's a big thing.
Speaker 1:Well, they can't see what's in that baby, no, but I still want a picture of it Okay, but so I think this is a good time to even have specific conversation to see how you know, kind of see how we handle just chatting and the new developments in our life.
Speaker 2:So we can always edit out the pauses in between Convo.
Speaker 1:Oh, we're good, I'm just gonna, I'm just gonna say, bump it. Okay, we just gonna throw it up bro. Okay, I'm getting tired of the whole editing Like I'm gonna do that for clips.
Speaker 2:We spend so much time worrying about how shit's going to look that we don't prioritize the content, and we need to stop that. Yeah, and we need to stop that, yeah.
Speaker 1:So I'm just going to say bump it. Those look so good though and I'm not going to lie, it does. That's why I was like that, the way that one seared, especially with the fat and stuff from the steak. I feel like that'd be really nice too. So tell me the recent developments with you and Matt. Maybe you say you went on a concert and you actually said the l word yes, I did so.
Speaker 2:Matt and I have been dating I just realized we just said, yeah, I'll bleep it out, it's okay, um, I've been dating for, like I said, a year and a half, um and for, so for christmas I got him a. Was it for christmas or his birthday? Well, anyways, I got him tickets to a band that he really likes Dropkick Murphys and it was a really fun concert. There was only three people that played that concert, however. It was the Menzingers, teenage Bottle Rocket and Dropkick Murphy. It was a really dope night.
Speaker 1:Dropkick Murphy I'm familiar with because I think they do a lot of Irish punk. No, I think I remember them from like a no, a wrestler used their theme song.
Speaker 2:Why don't you just reuse the butter for the next patties?
Speaker 1:Because you see this dark part in the show. Oh, it's fair. Hang on. I remember that some people used their music for a theme song and, as y'all can tell, I'm a very big Abbott wrestling fan, so that's how I remember them. But continue on.
Speaker 2:So that was fun. The drive over there was ridiculous, though.
Speaker 1:I don't know why you chose.
Speaker 2:We literally we left four hours prior to the concert. We had to drive two hours and 45 minutes. All of the traffic on the way over there added like two hours to our drive time.
Speaker 1:So you basically drove six hours.
Speaker 2:And then had to drive back.
Speaker 1:Was that concert worth it?
Speaker 2:It was actually.
Speaker 1:Was it because you were with him?
Speaker 2:Yes, because I got to share a nice evening and have a nice experience with my partner.
Speaker 1:That's right, motherfucker, I need to go ahead and cut this. If you can go ahead and monitor, yeah.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:So, but that's good. So, like how you know? Know, I'm kind of curious because you know, I never really asked you this for like when, when did you ever feel like I could say I love you to me, but so, before we, go when I felt it and when I said it are two different things okay, so say for, since you're on a conversation with you and matt, when did you feel that it was right to say it? Like was it then in the moment?
Speaker 2:No, it was after the concert, when things were winding down. He was making jokes and we were having fun walking back to the car, which we found free parking for, by the way. That was wonderful, and we were walking back and I could tell that he wanted to say it while we were still at the concert venue, but he didn't because I hadn't said it yet.
Speaker 1:Oh, oh, oh, my god.
Speaker 2:How good is that.
Speaker 1:It's the mixture of the salt and the honey.
Speaker 2:The salt is what was missing on the last one.
Speaker 1:Yeah, now that salt at the end. But yeah, go ahead.
Speaker 2:Forgot what I was saying.
Speaker 1:You were talking about. He almost wanted to say it.
Speaker 2:Oh yeah, he almost said it. When we were on our way towards the end of the concert, he gave me a hug and said best birthday. It was for his birthday. He said best birthday present ever. And then we went ahead and walked back to the car and I said, well, did you have a good night? And he goes yeah, I'm a little out of breath, though, because we had to walk away to get back to the car, and I said well, let me give you another reason for me to steal your breath away.
Speaker 1:And I told him that I love him. Yo, that was corny as fuck that was corny as fuck. But he thought it was hilarious. That was so corny, I'm not even gonna lie. Hold on, please do not tell me.
Speaker 2:Is it not recording?
Speaker 1:No, it is it just Okay. Yeah, we're good.
Speaker 2:Okay, before we have a repeat of the last time. Yeah, we're just going to.
Speaker 1:We're just going to do it live Glad I'm looking at certain things that are unplugged. Now it was plugged in. Well it's not Glad I saw it, Anyway. So you had your moment. And how did he? Did he actually lose his breath?
Speaker 2:He stood there and grinned really hard.
Speaker 1:Oh boy yeah, the cheeky, the cheeky son of a gun. I mean it's weird. It's not weird too, but he did have a moment where he was like you know what, maz, you're like the best meta I've ever had.
Speaker 2:I love that you guys get along so well.
Speaker 1:We do get along. I don't necessarily feel the need to constantly like keep in touch and like chat all the time.
Speaker 2:But when you guys are around each other, you can just chill.
Speaker 1:Yeah, no, that's the thing Like with me and that's not nothing against him being my meta or anything, it's just I'm not like when I'm doing my own thing, I'm doing my own thing. And then there are times to kind of there are times to kind of to kill the silence in the room and I'm like, no, you don't have to do that, dude, you're good. Like I'm just focused on something, like I don't necessarily need to talk.
Speaker 2:If people were to watch us in our day-to-day life, they would think we're so boring.
Speaker 1:Yeah, that's what I'm saying they will constantly.
Speaker 2:We are literally some of the most boring people. We don't want to go out when we get off of work. Yeah, like I mean, I'll work out or something like that, but that's about the most. Okay, this is a good mango sparkling.
Speaker 1:Okay, this doesn't need no that. So that's regular seltzer water with um peach mango mio in it. Oh so you cheated. This was what I was saying, but she apparently added some extra stuff to it and it tastes really good did you want me to make you another tea?
Speaker 2:did you empty yours already?
Speaker 1:uh no, it just got watery because of the ice. Okay, so we'll have to get another one.
Speaker 2:Um don't burn yourself.
Speaker 1:It popped at me that's what you get anyway. Uh, but you guys had that moment, so that's really great to hear. I mean, like I said before, he's really cool, really chill. We're going to all. We're all going to chicago together. Um, unfortunately, we're gonna have to share the same room. Uh, not saying that isn't a bad way, but like, because of financial, we're gonna all share the same room. So there there is that level of privacy that any person would like to have. I do.
Speaker 1:That's almost rare rare I know that's why I was like that's good, you know, and that's weird, because I did the whole 15 seconds. So this must have been a thicker cut. This definitely must have been a thicker cut of a steak, because we like to eat our steak rare. We want that bitch to still move. That is the philosophy in this house, so it gotta still move. So I haven't felt the need to say I love you to someone in a while because before before I think, I was dating, was I dating see Before or after the pod? Before Okay, so was doing I was dating. Was I dating c before, after the pod? Before? Okay, so I was dating a person named c? Um, we had a once. They had a falling out, it was.
Speaker 1:I guess they wanted to move into a different direction different places at different times yeah, um, while we dated they, I feel like they were very used to somebody telling them what to do and how to do things and what to do for their life. And then, as I started talking to them and they asked me, like, hey, what should I do about this and I remember it cold heartedly because it was a moment where I gave them my opinion Like, hey, I really feel like you should do what you want to do. I don't really feel like I should judge what you should do and I, low-key, feel like their brain might've, you know, exploded, because after that things kind of went kapooey.
Speaker 2:That can go back in for a couple of more minutes.
Speaker 1:What is it?
Speaker 2:The mac and cheese.
Speaker 1:Okay. So I feel like after that their brain went kapoo and things just kind of spiraled in relationship. They, they were here at the house like almost every day and then, you know, suddenly it was like they were never here anymore. They kind of worried that I wouldn't want them to stay around, and that was not the case. It was just really communication. It had been really good to let me know what you're feeling, what's going on in their mind.
Speaker 1:And just one day, out of the blue, I'm at work they were just like hey, I just want to have a conversation with you. And it was like I want to cut ties and this is not goodbye, this is I'll see you later. And to me, when anybody says that, I mean you could just basically say you're breaking up, just just say that I'm not really going to talk about what they were going through because I feel like that's out of my threshold. I shouldn't really do that. But I will say it's always great to hear that. And then you know, later on find out they're doing other things. I'm glad that she's happy, I'm glad that she's happy, I'm glad she's found someone else to be happy with. But I feel ever since that relationship they were very high on the threshold of like what I needed in the secondary.
Speaker 2:She raised your standards.
Speaker 1:She definitely did raise my standards, and that's the thing with any person that I did I date. They raise my standards because if I'm getting a certain thing from here, I don't expect every partner to do that, but I that stuff is sizzling.
Speaker 2:Jesus christ. What's similar? The rice, oh is that bad, no, it's just. It's really loud in my ears oh weird.
Speaker 1:Anyway, um, don't burn yourself, by the way I'm not um, but they kind of set this I don't say expectation, but kind of set a standard of what should I look for in future partners. So throughout the years and we've we haven't been together almost two years- yeah, two to three.
Speaker 1:Yeah, so every person I've met is just like, okay, this, this, this, that. And then you kind of get to a point where you're like, okay, but are they meeting up to this or they're matching up to this? And it kind of feels crazy to say that, but it's really tough. I guess you, like we talked about before, you feel like I, get really picky.
Speaker 2:You compare your partners a lot. You don't realize it, but you do.
Speaker 1:And that's the thing I feel like now is wrong to take that way, but it's because my mindset is not everybody should be equal, but everybody should be somewhat similar but unique in their own way.
Speaker 2:Okay, wrong phrasing. Okay, it was saying not everybody should be equal implies hierarchy.
Speaker 1:Oh, I mean yeah, no, yeah, excuse me. What I meant to say was everybody should be equal, but they're unique in their own way. That's what I meant to say. Yeah, no, yeah, excuse me. What I meant to say was everybody should be equal, but they're unique in their own way, right, that's what I meant to say. Yeah, like I don't, I don't want to have that hierarchy. I mean, obviously the only thing that is going to be in that range is obviously when it comes to financial and documentation is like yeah, you're my wife, right, so there is a priority in those things, but like I don't really see really see like, oh, all my people can't be within the same window of things, but communication is very important to me.
Speaker 1:Any person that I talk to you know when we talk about something, if you feel something, if something's going on, we got to talk about it. Uh, any person that I encounter who is like I don't necessarily want to talk about it right now, that's cool, but like don't hold it within you to where one day, if I do something, that's just completely off and he's like you know what? And, plus, I hate when you do that Like whoa, where did that come from? Right, why haven't we talked about this now? Why are you throwing it at me now? Is if I'm supposed to remember and do something about it that I don't. So it um, I've experienced that a lot with people and they are not understanding of communication and the openness of communication, and that's kind of where I guess my biggest ick is.
Speaker 1:The other stuff is like okay, I'll work around that right but like that's, my biggest ick is communication, especially because I have set a rule for myself and this is just for, uh, my mental health. Um, I have a tendency of like wanting to plan like dates or things with a person, and if the person doesn't like, okay, so like say, say, if you mean you, you come up to you say, hey, what are you doing Friday? If you're not having any plans, let's kind of do something.
Speaker 2:Right.
Speaker 1:And then you know what, friday I'm actually busy, Can't do it. Ok, you don't want to shoot me another date or something like that. Like what date works with you? If that Friday doesn't work, it's cool, let's work around it, but you don't give me anything, so it doesn't feel like you're contributing to the conversation.
Speaker 2:There's no back and forth, it's one-sided.
Speaker 1:Yes, yes, so I'll do that three times with a person, and if they don't give me an answer or give me something, the ball is now in your court. I have done my part to try to spend time with you, get to know you, and if all we're doing is just texting each other every day, that gets boring.
Speaker 2:If you keep turning down a partner that you not not to say fresh partner, like someone that you've been talking to for a while and you guys have been talking about meeting up and talking about going and doing something and then that person makes plans or offers plans and you keep saying no, that just says that you're not interested literally so if, if somebody feels that I'm, I guess, an asshole for that, I don't know, it just helps with my mental health.
Speaker 1:Better to not sit there and be like well, me and you've been talking for weeks constantly. Perfect example Person that I was talking to named Kay. All we did was Snapchat every day about like complaining about the shit we deal with with our jobs at times, and it was just like okay, well, I know your situation, I kind of know a little bit about you, but like, hey, let's just spend some time, whether if it's an hour, 30 minutes, just like chat on the phone, let's watch something again, let's do something. Because we had some distance from us. They lived in Ocala and that's a bit of a drive for me because I kind of I normally have a rule where, if it's a partner and it's within the state, honestly, within a threshold of like you're further than me, like an hour and some change, like we got to do an equal amount of uh of commute.
Speaker 1:I can't be the one that always community uh making the commute to you, otherwise we got a problem. Uh, only because I did that at one point and then that went another way. But I guess you could say within my relationships, anything that I've experienced and it kind of went really bad. I'm just like, yeah, that's not happening again, I'm not doing that again, and I don't know if that could say that's like me protecting myself or I truly feel like it's. It's helping with my mental health because Of course you snag a part of the banana, of course you can snag a part of the banana. It's helping with my mental health because, instead of me sitting there constantly wondering why are they not wanting to do something or just anything out of nature?
Speaker 2:If you're not interested in someone like that, you should say so. I feel like it's rude to string people along. If you're not interested in someone to that capacity, but they're interested in you at that capacity, you should tell them. You should be very clear, and if they have a bad reaction to that, then they weren't meant to be in your life anyways bingo.
Speaker 1:So yeah, then I had recently just unfriended her because there was a point where she just didn't message me for days. So I was like it was no point in me keeping you around. So, all right, goodbye. But it's just things like that, like not communicating and not showing that you are also along for the ride. I'm just keeping you occupied for your day.
Speaker 2:Right.
Speaker 1:You're just temporary entertainment. Yeah, and that freaking sucks. Sorry, love You're just temporary entertainment. Yeah, and that freaking sucks. Sorry, love you good, that freaking sucks so yeah, all right, well, food's done.
Speaker 2:Yeah, food's done.
Speaker 1:So let's go ahead and prepare these plates. What you looking for? A scooper.
Speaker 2:Just something that's not a giant ladle. That's a salad spoon. No, this is a mixing spoon. That's a salad spoon. This is not a salad spoon. That's a salad spoon. You're only supposed to make salad. For that, give me your plate.
Speaker 1:Anyway, anyway, give me your plate anyway, but um, besides that, oh yeah, that was a one thing. It was a question you asked me a while back in relation to our previous pod. Um, it was something in relation to like communication on a certain level between you and your person, like what we deem is immediate conversation. Compared to that can wait, wasn't it something like that?
Speaker 2:I'm not sure. Okay, that's cool.
Speaker 1:Wait, come back. Oh, you're giving me more matches? Yeah, okay, there's. If you don't come back, oh, you give me more, yeah, okay. There's like two servings left, so you know, the other half is yours.
Speaker 2:No, I know, I'm saying, there's like two servings left from what we had yesterday.
Speaker 1:Oh, okay.
Speaker 2:Did you not want a chicken patty?
Speaker 1:Yeah, I got to make room. Got to make room. Oh, cool, gotta make room. So if not, that then you wanna hold it down. Yeah, go ahead. Alright, so we have our plates.
Speaker 2:Can I have my plate?
Speaker 1:Nope, I get to eat. This is me Rude.
Speaker 2:Fine, then no cookies for you. I will just take a cookie as so they're supposed to be cakey, so you have to let them rest for a little bit. How much?
Speaker 1:is a little bit.
Speaker 2:I would say, at least until we're done with dinner.
Speaker 1:I will listen to my wife Because you know otherwise it might be problems. I can't grab the chicken patty. There we go, that is for you. But we say all this is. I think this could be just a short refresher to you guys Like what's been going on.
Speaker 2:I don't think we have to have a super long, intricate conversation today, but I feel like if you guys like this format of us just making dinner and just chatting, like we could do this, no problem, because this is way easier for us to do as a pod than anything else so when we try to plan shit, it never works it never does and, uh, to be a podcast of that nature, you kind of do sometimes have to plan questions and things that I need to reply well, we can always have like a list of questions we think about throughout the week and then decide which ones we're going to talk about on the the pod for the day well, yeah, I just in in general.
Speaker 1:I just didn't know if there was anything particular that're going to talk about on the pod for the day. Well, yeah, I just in general. I just didn't know if there was anything particular that you want to talk about that we haven't already talked about. She's thinking so you know. You know the bubbling of a text message that bubble be cooking, fuck that bubble. That bubble be cooking, that bubble be cooking, bubbling, it's bubbling, it's bubbling oh, um wait whatever happens, have your have your boundaries changed at all what do you mean?
Speaker 2:like as in like when it comes to other, like your metas and stuff like that what, what are your? We've never actually discussed what our our boundaries with our metas are well, we kind of just knew from like when we dating.
Speaker 1:See, I know one of the things is, you know, uh, if we're dating a person, you know they're allowed on our bed but otherwise everybody else is not allowed. That much we know. But I guess that is a good question. But for me, hmm, you know actually that that that is really a good question, because you did have that concern on the necklace thing, turn or the necklace thing. So, like I said before, I don't mind, you know, if I want to say he was aggressive but uh, if he's assertive, let's just say that.
Speaker 1:If he's assertive, and how he reacts or do things to you or physical, I don't care. Just you know the main rule, as long as we're not doing in front of each other.
Speaker 2:Okay.
Speaker 1:Yeah, so like, but yeah, like say, if we're all shooting the shit, then I don't care, you know. But like you know, obviously if you guys kiss, I don't care about that, you know. But obviously anything physical, which I am aware, that is not going to happen. I'm just saying in general that if it did, I don't want to be present for it, that if it did, I don't want to be present for it.
Speaker 2:I have recently come to the conclusion that I am ace with everyone except for you.
Speaker 1:Which is crazy to me, because I mean, that's how you feel, that's how you are. It's just I didn't think that that was a thing. Yeah, I didn't think that would be a thing, which is, like I said. It surprises me every time you say it. But, um, I don't really have any restrictions with him because he's a pretty chill dude and I think restrictions should probably come up depending on the dynamic, but that's obviously should be a base right.
Speaker 1:There should be a base, which the base for us is. Nobody else lays in our space unless they are a partner and obviously physical interactions so I want to clarify.
Speaker 2:I didn't know that there was an exception to that rule what like it just in terms of because for me there I didn't know there was an exception for you for that rule that if we're dating the person, then they're allowed in the bed.
Speaker 1:But yeah, that's kind of. That's kind of how it was with c. That's why I thought that was okay when you let c in the bed okay, so, no, so that was my.
Speaker 2:I was fine with that.
Speaker 1:Oh, that was one of my, my, your boundaries, my boundaries, that I was okay with I didn't know that you were okay with that as well as long as and this is gonna sound crazy as long as he's not on my side of the bed, I don't care because uh, I don't want nobody on my side of the bed because I am very picky on how if I lay in somebody, I'm I'm very big on the bed is so much softer, who mine?
Speaker 1:yeah, then you lay on it. If he's gonna lay in it, you lay on my side. You don't lay on my side, no, because I don't want nobody's energy or scent or you like, on my side of the bed besides my own wife. You know what I'm saying, but that's just me and it's going to sound crazy because you know what about if your person's on the side of your wife's bed, like you know what I'm saying. So I guess, to that situation, what is your boundary when it comes to like in general?
Speaker 2:This is going to sound really crude. I don't know how else to say this. No fucking in the bed.
Speaker 1:Okay, but there was a time where you encouraged that was mutual Okay, okay.
Speaker 2:Both of us were involved in that.
Speaker 1:No, it was a time with C, so I guess with C whenever you said hey, you can go.
Speaker 2:Yeah, no, but you guys had been dating for a while at that point.
Speaker 1:Okay, so the boundary changed because of the relationship Right.
Speaker 2:The duration of the relationship affected the boundary.
Speaker 1:I got it. So again, so again. Rice is so good. I know I'm actually munching on that heart. So let's go ahead and again, because I guess update, because we haven't had new people in our lives outside of us since then. So what do you feel is a base boundary for yourself?
Speaker 2:base boundary is obviously no like in terms of what?
Speaker 1:just what you're comfortable with when it comes to like if, obviously, if I get a new partner, what are you comfortable? What do you? Let's talk about first. What are you not comfortable with seeing or being involved?
Speaker 2:in Probably wouldn't ever be anything sexual. Okay, yeah, that's about. The biggest thing for me is because of what my previous partners have done. I'd prefer not to be involved in that.
Speaker 1:What about that situation with E?
Speaker 2:No, so that's what I was saying. That was mutual, okay, okay, okay just confirming.
Speaker 1:Okay, so that situation made it different, but you don't want to be involved physically with any right, any of my people. Okay, is that the only thing? This rice is really freaking good. I'm sorry.
Speaker 2:I'm like I feel bad for the back of my teeth. It was only a handful of ingredients too. So, but I think that's about the only one, aside from making sure that we spend time together, just us. That's about the only one, aside from making sure that we spend time together, just us. That's about the only thing.
Speaker 1:Okay.
Speaker 2:You can do pretty much whatever you want with your other partners. As long as I'm not involved in the the scuffle Sexual stuff.
Speaker 1:Yeah, that's why I call it the scuffle, it's because you know.
Speaker 2:Can you hand me my drink please? Yeah, this steak is really good too, I know.
Speaker 1:Told you that savory and that salt.
Speaker 2:Thank you.
Speaker 1:That combination is fire With the honey and salt. Excuse me, so outside of for me, obviously, I think the biggest one for me is going to be I. I'm saying as well, I don't want to be present, but you already have stated you're not going to be physical with anybody, so is that the?
Speaker 2:is there a possibility that that may change in the future? Of course, but for right now I have no interest in being sexual with any other partners. Oh no, what you making a mess for?
Speaker 1:Just stuff falling out oh those patties are really good. Stuff falling out the freezer, okay, and if it does change I don't necessarily feel any type of way outside of I don't want to be present for it either.
Speaker 2:Okay, no, that's fair.
Speaker 1:And if it is going to be in the household, I don't know.
Speaker 2:like you, I'll tell you to go hang with Jesse for a while.
Speaker 1:Something, because I Well, no, actually I need to get over that, because there may be.
Speaker 2:You don't have to get over shit if it makes you uncomfortable.
Speaker 1:No, no, no. Why. If it makes you uncomfortable, no, no. Why I say that is because, say, if you know not to say any person that you would date would ever do this, but if there's ever a situation where you are threatened or forced or or pushed into a situation where they kind of make you do something, I still want to be present, to still be, you know, there and able to help if needed.
Speaker 2:Okay.
Speaker 1:Does that make sense, like the protector role? Still, I still want to be protector.
Speaker 2:I get it.
Speaker 1:Because, while you have encountered some really shitty dudes.
Speaker 2:I've made questionable choices. Yes, there's a reason I don't actively date very often.
Speaker 1:Elle being one of them, and unfortunately, one of the people I'm encountering is also encountering that same dude, so it's like I can't tell you not to be with them.
Speaker 2:I just could say like look, I felt really sad that they thought that I was going to be upset with them because they went out with him.
Speaker 1:They really said that.
Speaker 2:Yeah, they thought that I was going to be mad at them because they were dating him. Are they dating?
Speaker 1:him, or seeing him. Well, seeing him, okay, because if they were dating him.
Speaker 2:we had a problem, so dating is what I call the lead up to a relationship. Did you have Sparkle and Wolf?
Speaker 1:That was the one that you used. Oh, no, no, we have more over here. Okay, but no, you're good continue hang on.
Speaker 2:This is. I'm gonna be distracted here for a minute. Which one do you want? Which one do you want?
Speaker 1:so, but anyways, um, because of what their previous partner said, they thought that I was going to be mad at them yeah, I think what had happened was and I'm not going to go into details it's like they had a really big situation where a long time partner basically told them hey, everybody else is going to not like you because of a thing you just did. And they may have like had a moment where it was just really worried that other people in their world would actually do what he says. And then to find out, actually, no, we're pretty supportive and we don't really care, as long as you're being safe right that's.
Speaker 1:That's my biggest thing, but knowing that, like I said, l had his encounter with you and did what he did to you, not saying he did anything physical to you, but no, he was just trying to be manipulative yeah, being very manipulative. I could understand how M could not only fall for it, but like he could be very persuasive in how he talks to people.
Speaker 2:The problem is when you first start dating him, he's very nice and very polite and very chivalrous, and then when you bring up an issue, like I did with communication, he just full on went either defensive or offensive, I don't know what you would call it, but he like For no reason.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and then the situation with me and I was talking to one of his people named E. He was like hey, I'm really trying to work this thing out with that person. He was like hey, I'm really trying to work this thing out with that person, and they told me to stop talking to you to kind of showcase loyalty. Yeah, so you know, I don't want that's a red flag.
Speaker 2:Yeah, if we're talking about red flags and polyamory, that's a red flag.
Speaker 1:Yes, unless your partner is actually concerned about you interacting with a person that has no good intentions. That is a red flag. Yeah, so whenever they told me that, I was like all right, yo. And because I have moments where I've talked to a person and then they do that and they'll come back and say, hey, you were right. Can I come back now, because?
Speaker 2:I would like to preface that, before you cut them off completely, you give them like 500 different tries of like making a good decision.
Speaker 1:Oh, I've done that, yeah, it's just it really sucks. That, you know, I understand, but especially if you've been with that person longer than me, so you're really taking a gamble with me, but it's just like you can already see that's a red flag if he's telling you to do that. But to each his own. But to get back to the actual topic, I just I don't want to be away, but obviously I don't want to be away, but obviously.
Speaker 1:I don't want to be involved, right, really, I think it's more so, just for everything. It's the physical aspect, because obviously in any partner they're not going to Nobody's nobody's trying to overstep, nobody's naturally trying to overstep, nobody's naturally trying to overstep. Now, I think we're always really good at that, because I know there's a lot of people who have, as I've talked to them, they're like I really don't want to overstep asani, I really don't know.
Speaker 2:Trust me I'm like the most chill meta you've ever met. I will literally sit in a corner while you do your shit with my husband and I don't give a fuck. So it-hmm.
Speaker 1:So it's always an interesting thing when they're like, but like perfect example.
Speaker 2:That sounded bad, sitting in a corner. I willingly put myself in corners because I don't like being in open spaces.
Speaker 1:No, it's not like you just sit in a corner like I'm gonna watch. That's crazy ridiculous. But uh, more so you're just like hey, oh you, you dropped it, now you gotta watch it do we not have any more forks in there?
Speaker 2:nope damn. I need you to move, though. I need to get to the sink.
Speaker 1:But I say that in a sense of just trying to confirm Most people are not trying to overstep, because they've either talked to other people where the smallest thing was you're overstepping and now I want you gone. Right was you're overstepping and now I want you gone. So a lot of people do get worried in polyamory of not trying to overstep certain relationships and making sure they understand the boundaries. Because if you find a good person and you're having a really great connection, it really sucks If one minute, because you, you did something you thought was harmless and actually was a boundary, and now that person, the other person's like Nope, they got to go now and it could be the smallest thing you never know ethical question should you bring up your partner's boundaries, your home, like your nesting partner or whatever other partner you have that is a primary role in your life?
Speaker 2:should you bring up your partner's boundaries on a first or second date with someone?
Speaker 1:Yeah, I do. I mean, I talk about you a lot.
Speaker 2:Okay, so I know you talk about me a lot, but there's a difference between saying, hey, these are, this is how my partner feels, versus this is how I feel. It depends on the topic.
Speaker 1:Cause, like not everybody's going to go into uh like a sexual conversation immediately. But if it does sprout about what we'll do is I'll just tell them like hey, just an fyi. If we are going to do something like get physical, it stays in the guest room like it doesn't fair enough, I guess.
Speaker 2:Because I'm asexual, I always lead with the fact that I most likely will never end up being physical with that person outside of platonic cuddling.
Speaker 1:Oh yeah, I do stuff like that. Yeah, yeah, yeah, but more so. What I'm talking about is I don't bring up certain things unless it's being brought up because I don't want to be on the first date. I don't want to be on a first date Like so hey, if we're going to get physical, it got to be like this, like that's only if they're curious, like hey, so just curiosity. I know you're married, but how does your partner feel about you being physical with them in the household? Right, so it's different if they bring it up, but if they don't bring it up.
Speaker 2:Do you bring it up at some point?
Speaker 1:I bring it up.
Speaker 1:Like first or second date, only it's probably it's probably second date Cause I've I've had people who would bring up certain topics immediately. That's like bro, that's probably a topic like maybe 20 dates later, like, and it's a lot of like. And I understand if you want to let a person know you've had trauma, right. But immediately telling you the trauma First, it's like bro, we're supposed to be out here getting boba, right, I'm not trying to get tea and just immediately be trauma dumped on a situation that involved you being physical with somebody and that has led to something. And it's like, okay, we're not even talking about being physical with each other, but I get it. It's just maybe not on the first date. But I know some people are like, hey, I need to let you know this right now so that way you know if you're getting more in-depth and further into this relationship or whatever this is, you kind of need to know. This is a thing. And if you plan on getting physical with me, then that's different. But actually trauma dumping, the actual situation is different.
Speaker 2:I guess it depends on the person who's experienced the trauma. So I have it in almost all of my. I took down all of my dating profiles because I haven't been using the apps. But when? I do have them active because you got Mia in now when I have my profiles active, I do put in there that I am a trauma survivor and that I will not engage in explicit stuff with you that's different, because again, you are explaining that this is a thing rather than so.
Speaker 1:Let me actually tell you about how it happened. Whoa, like first date, first, perfect, perfect example. First conversation was that with someone, first conversation, sitting down on the phone like hey, how you doing, you know I got, you know I got your number, whatever did it. And that was on the dating site and it's like, yeah, immediately trauma down and I'm just like um hi, how?
Speaker 2:are you doing?
Speaker 1:of all. Yeah, so I'm talking about stuff like that and I've had it happen multiple times now, but a part of it could be that person feels very, very, very, very comfortable with me Because we're normally texting beforehand and they feel very comfortable with letting me know this information. So it could be that, which, again, I am honored, because the whole idea is, I do want to create a safe space for you to be open and communicate anything. It's probably not the right setting at that moment in time, so, um, I do champion that. So, um, what I do do in the first date is, a lot of times I'm just getting to know you, to know I won't say your habits, but like, what are the things I can do to bring you joy? You know, if it's hey, like like a person I just recently talked to, they were like hey, if we're going to hang out, like can we watch JoJo Bizarre Adventure? And I'm like why, JoJo's bro.
Speaker 1:Why? Why gotta be jojo's man, god don't like now ask like why jojo's? Because it's so good? And come to find out it was actually, um, uh, they were watching it with a friend group in college and then suddenly the friend group disbanded so they never finished it. But it was was like I really want to watch it. I just don't want to watch it alone. So I was like, alright, cool, here's the thing. If I'm going to be tortured by JoJo's, you gotta watch FLCL.
Speaker 2:I hate FLCL. You gotta watch.
Speaker 1:FLCL and I had to explain. I know you did, and this is why I love you. But I want you to. Here's the thing, babe. Now that I got the understanding of that anime too and this is Ibar now that I got the understanding of the anime, I do want you to watch it again. Only because I want you to, I want you to see it from the lens of what the anime?
Speaker 2:No, that's what I'm trying to tell you.
Speaker 1:It's about being and this is spoilers for anybody else Three, two, one. It's about being basically an adult who can still be a child at heart, because notice how Takun, a lot of the things he did were very adult, but he still did childish things in the anime. So it's like hey, coming to the fact that, yes, you will grow up, but you still can do childish things at times. So that's why the symbol if you remember the robot, the symbol in Japanese that's basically child-adult. So, like you saw, obviously he had his interactions with Harukasa. That's very adult-like, but then he'll be in an episode shooting BB guns with friends Very childlike. So he's having these adult things and adult conversations, but still being a child at heart. And that's the whole point of the anime you can still be an adult and a child at heart.
Speaker 1:I just wanted my drink. I know I'm just saying so, just give it another try. But looking at that lens, okay. So looking at it at that lens, okay. So looking at that lens, um, what else is there? Uh, so, yes, that is the cooperation, even though coolly coolly is 10 episodes and jojo's is five seasons. So I said we'll have to keep renegotiating the deal as the seasons keep going, because, uh, they stopped, I guess, at season three and I was like, all right, I'll tough it out for you.
Speaker 1:But those are the things I try to find out. What can we do? How can I, how can I be a good person for you? All right, when they give me the fact that they're a trauma survivor, okay, cool, and I guess, if they feel like they need, if you tell, like the full, actual situation, but just like, hey, I am a trauma survivor, there may be points in time I may just get closed in or, like you know, just be non-responsive in certain situations and it's like, okay, that's cool. If that happens, how can I be supportive of you? How can I help you in that moment? Right, that is what I'm trying to find out, because if it happens, I want to be prepared, you know.
Speaker 1:So, um, those are the things I try to learn about. Um, try to learn about their partner too, because, outside of just learning them, what is your relationship like? Because if your relationship isn't good, then our relationship ain't going to be good. And, um, I oftentimes do have a lot of people that I'll meet where their partner is either one asexual or their partner isn't fun in this aspect or something in that aspect, and because I've had multiple times where I'll get into that person's life and then the other partner the, the primary would get very jealous and be like yo, you're having too much fun with this person, he has to go I don't understand that.
Speaker 2:I understand being jealous because your partner's spending a lot of time with a new person. I don't understand being jealous because you feel they are spending too much time being happy with that other person.
Speaker 1:Because a lot of them feel like you should be happy with that other person Because a lot of them feel like you should be happy with me. Why are you not exerting?
Speaker 2:that thing. They shouldn't be polyamorous. You got a point. You have a point, but that's a very black and white take on it. But if you are not comfortable with your partner being happy with someone else with getting things, you can't provide them with someone else. You shouldn't be poly.
Speaker 1:Okay, but just like I said, that's.
Speaker 2:That's the whole reason you and I are together, Because my ex decided that he didn't like that.
Speaker 1:I was talking to you about having you know my ex decided that he didn't like that I was talking to you about having a date with you.
Speaker 2:Yeah, because you were able to provide something he wasn't, so he got mad.
Speaker 1:True, it was still a crazy situation, but still. But that's naturally how I do my dates Find reasons and find things we can do and then learn about you as a person, because, yes, we, if we do get closer, we're going to get physical at some point. It is what it is, but I don't feel like that should be the core of the conversation, right, and I want to give you that nature, like, hey, I'm here to be a support system, I'm here to actually be a partner and not somebody who's just trying to screw. So those are my motivations and a date Now. Great question, by the way, really good question. Um, I guess I do have a question because, knowing that you are dating and I do encounter a lot of people I know you don't necessarily care for the, the people I interact with, but because it's currently a I want to say a large amount, but there is a decent amount of people do you at any point in time feel like man, he's talking to a lot of motherfuckers?
Speaker 2:okay. So there's a difference between you talking to a lot of people and having a lot of people over. You don't have a lot of people over. You have people that you have over often, but you don't have a lot of individuals coming in at different times.
Speaker 1:Okay, but still, does that ever make you feel like, because I'm talking to so many people, that am I not happy with you, or something like that?
Speaker 2:No, because you've never given me that impression. Will there be times where I have a bad mental health day and I wonder if you're actually still interested? Yes, but that's on me, that's not on you. It's not something that you've done. It's something that I have to deal with because I have trauma from previous relationships, which is fine. I'm not going to take that out on you by putting restrictions on you and what you do with other people. Just because I'm feeling a little bit insecure, will I come to you for reassurance? Yes, but will I put all of the burden of fixing that feeling on you?
Speaker 1:No, Okay, okay, okay, respect, much respect. Um, I think that's the only thing, because obviously they're.
Speaker 2:I would ask you the same question, but I rarely talk to people.
Speaker 1:Yeah, no, I mean you hang out with E every once in a while and y'all have cuddle days, mm-hmm, um, and then you rarely see it, which I still find funny that while I'm talking to another C and you have M and they both stay in the same city and we're already like well.
Speaker 2:I mean double dates.
Speaker 1:You know we'll go up there and you go see him, I go see them. Or you know they'll get in the car together and come down. I find that very funny. And and you know they'll get in the car together and come down. I find that very funny.
Speaker 2:And um and uh I I do just find it really, really hilarious. That is the thing. Um, I saw a recipe, um, I don't remember the creator's name, but I'm pretty sure everyone else will recognize what it is once I say what it's called. It's called Chicken Cobbler. I want to try making it.
Speaker 1:I got biscuit mix for it. Chicken Cobbler is very much a southern thing, so you are more than welcome to try that. That was just a side note. No, that's good, but yeah, that's kind of that's good. But uh, yeah, that's kind of what's been going on, unless you kind of had anything else that you either want to update or ask about what recent stuff.
Speaker 2:Not that I can think of right now.
Speaker 1:Okay, well, maybe that could be a stop right now. Okay, Well, maybe that could be a stoppage for us. I mean, this has been a good hour conversation so far, and we again.
Speaker 2:I really like this, because this feels a lot more natural.
Speaker 1:I just hope that.
Speaker 2:I'm not going to lie. It felt really stiff when we were doing the podcast episodes on the on the couch, Cause I had to sit still.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I just hope at the same time that the audio does come out good. If you guys enjoy this audio setup, this visual setup, please let me know in the comments and I will continue to do this, whether if it's just out and about or something like that. But just, we're still trying to find a format that works with us and making us different from every other podcast. So I mean, it's not bad to be similar, find a format that works with us and making us different from every other podcast.
Speaker 2:So I mean it's not bad to be similar in some, some ways.
Speaker 1:Yeah, not, but just not an entire category. But uh, yeah, I think that's a good moment to just say thank you guys so much for watching or listening. Uh, again, I hope you enjoyed us cooking and being in our home and just seeing us in our element, how we just kind of chat and talk about certain things. And you know we try not to make every episode about us gossiping or something like that about the country, it's just more so we're having conversations about. This is what we're currently doing and how we would hope a healthy relationship would look like, having that communication or having that conversation. So it's more so to do that and then, um, I want to plug that con, that podcast again which one the communication one, go for it.
Speaker 2:Um, right here, if you have trouble opening up with your partner like this, there is a podcast that I absolutely love, and it's made by a traditional relationship couple.
Speaker 1:Oh, I know which one you're talking about. Yeah.
Speaker 2:So I love their content. They're hilarious, I don't? It feels weird staring into the camera.
Speaker 1:Okay, don't do it then.
Speaker 2:Fine, but it's literally. It's about communication and how to keep up connection with your partner, and they talk about a bunch of different topics. It's called To Be Better and the creators are Peaches and Chris.
Speaker 1:I thought she was going to say Peaches and Cream. I was going to laugh.
Speaker 2:No, no one is called Peaches and one is called Chris, because they have the same name spelled differently.
Speaker 1:So they're.
Speaker 2:Chris-Chris. Uh-huh, that's crazy, but I love watching them. Peaches just started a new podcast called the Good Wives, or something like that, with somebody else. The Good Wives, or something like that With somebody else. So she's doing podcasts with a couple of her other traditional wife friends and it's really cool. They talk about a bunch of different stuff.
Speaker 1:You can say Trad Wife.
Speaker 2:Yeah, Trad Wife.
Speaker 1:Yeah, but you say traditional wife, just say Trad Wife.
Speaker 2:Whatever, but literally they talk about a bunch of different stuff and it's really cool and I love listening to them because it's hilarious and they're also very serious about the topics that they get sent in.
Speaker 1:And how you don't want to be a trad wife yourself.
Speaker 2:Okay. So here's the thing with me being a trad wife. I don't want to have to be home all the time. I will literally go stir crazy if I don't have a job to do outside of the house. You remember how nuts I was going when I had to stay home after surgery.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I kept you occupied, but yes.
Speaker 2:But they have a template that you can email them and they'll send you a copy of it. They have a. They have a template, um, that you can email them and they'll like send you a copy of it. They have a template of how to ask questions, what kind of questions to ask, and it's like a weekly check-in thing so kind of like how I do when my niece wants a requirements thing Right Almost but it's a a weekly basis. And it's so cool to listen to the stories that they have come in.
Speaker 1:That's crazy. Are any of them poly related?
Speaker 2:No, because they are not polyamorous.
Speaker 1:I thought they were non-monogamous.
Speaker 2:No, they're very traditional, but they're not non-monogamous.
Speaker 1:Are they not open? I could have sworn. It was something like that.
Speaker 2:Oh, nope, okay, nope. They both view cheating as really really bad, so they but it's not really cheating. So they don't judge you if you are, but that's not their lifestyle.
Speaker 1:Okay, I just want to make sure I'm like but if that's communicated between both parties, what the heck? So they're very traditional in the monogamous aspect.
Speaker 2:They're also very Christian, which I don't mind because they don't shove it in your face constantly, but they do have certain values that go with being in the church.
Speaker 1:Okay.
Speaker 2:I'm sorry that was a long rant about a different podcast.
Speaker 1:Yeah, but no, it's not really a rant, it's more so an informative. It's a podcast, you like.
Speaker 2:It's a very good resource. I think they have a whole Discord community and everything.
Speaker 1:That's dope. I mean we could try that again in the future.
Speaker 2:No, I don't think I would have the spoons for that. On a regular basis.
Speaker 1:I'd just be the point of contact. But yeah, guys, so again, if you enjoy this format, we'll be able to do this a lot more often. I hope the audio was good and it's not like a lot of these moments were too loud. But until next time, welcome to our kitchen and thank you for sitting at our table.
Speaker 2:Nice to meet you guys.
Speaker 1:I like that ending. Thanks for sitting at our table, yeah.