Best of Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban!

Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban was a Time Warp indeed, in the best way possible! From all the damn magical animal hijinks in Crookshanks Cat Ass, Buckbeak, Scabbers & Hedwiginia, to the ups and downs of our favorite new Werewolf Professor, Remus Lupin to the TIME TURNER TRAVEL of it all!  We had such a great time covering the third installment in the Harry Potter book series. Enjoy some of our favorite moments from Season 3 covering Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban! 

Have a Great Dursley Free Summer and we'll see you soon for Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire!

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~Show Synopsis~

Harry, Sorry I’m Late follows two childhood friends reading, discussing & diving deep into the Wizarding World of Harry Potter for the first time. 

Together they come together weekly to discuss Harry Potter chapter by chapter, play quirky games and test their HP trivia knowledge alongside conversations on current events, pop culture and anything that magically comes about! 

Join them as they start upon this once in a lifetime magical journey!

Transcript

SPEAKER_09 0:00

Hello, hello, hello, and welcome back to another episode of Harry Sorry about the Harry Potter Podcast. It's Mikoda, and today we'll be looking back at some of the best moments of our Harry Potter and the Fetcher Bassman podcast journey. A lot of funny moments, crazy moments, pop culture moments, at least uh predicting things and getting a lot of them right. Her witchcraft is definitely open. Um, definitely a really great jam pack episode for you guys to listen to. And we hope that you guys enjoy it while we're away on our summer day. Not at the very end unfortunately, not with series. You know I'd be romantic, but I definitely request that you give us a five-star review over on Apple Podcasts. Or send us an email at harrisarnly.com. We've already had some comments from return for Goblin of Fire, so that's gonna be fun. Make sure to follow us over on Harry Sarnley over on Instagram. I am in the preparations of Zoom with quiz finally over on Instagram. So I am finally going to make good on my promise, and we're gonna be starting all the social stone up until Prisoner of Asc event to prepare us for our Goblet of Fire journey. So I am going to make good on that promise, and a lot of good things are gonna be happening over on Instagram and on the podcast as a whole. So stay tuned for that. But we hope you guys are enjoying your summer, and we look forward to joining you guys for Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire. But until then, enjoy this best of episode of Harry Potter and the Prisoner Basketball, and we'll be seeing you guys soon. And then you had your house revealed when you took the sorting hat. We thought it was time. How do you feel about your new house?

SPEAKER_04 1:26

I feel amazing about my house. I feel like we have a great PR team. We are known for our amazing morals, for our bravery. I am Gryffindor, everybody. And I was talking to my cousins, my family, that they always were allowed to read Harry Potter and were obsessed with it. Every single person in my family is a Gryffindor, including my sister who's never read Harry Potter, but we made her take the quiz. Certified. Just call us the Weaslies.

SPEAKER_09 1:59

No, literally, I said actually mean the Weaslies. And we were talking about in that episode when uh you took your test, how it just so happens that like the cover art. I had just made um your scarf on our podcast cover art, the Gryffindor Colors, because you know that's a generic house, default house for a lot of people. And it just so happens that was a house actually ended up in. We would have been happy with also Huff of Puff too. But uh yeah, Gryffindor is where the sword ended up placing you, and I think that's the perfect house for you. So yeah.

SPEAKER_04 2:30

You know, I secretly would have been okay with Slytherin.

SPEAKER_09 2:33

Oh, and I would have loved it.

SPEAKER_04 2:35

I could see that would have been juicy in another life. But Ravenclaw, I'd be like, take the quiz again. There's no way I'm Ravenclaw.

SPEAKER_09 2:48

Now, Alicia, my first question for you is who is the author of the famous Wizarding World book, A History of Magic?

SPEAKER_02 2:56

Wow.

SPEAKER_09 2:58

Now, this is this is common wizarding world knowledge. It'll definitely come up multiple times throughout the book.

SPEAKER_04 3:04

For everyone at home, I need y'all to think the answer so I can get it right now. You know, I've no idea.

SPEAKER_09 3:12

No idea. Okay, okay.

SPEAKER_04 3:13

Who wasn't?

SPEAKER_09 3:14

It was Bethilda Backshots.

SPEAKER_05 3:17

Get the hell out of here!

SPEAKER_09 3:21

That was the name.

SPEAKER_05 3:24

Hell yeah.

SPEAKER_09 3:25

Not the OF. She is an old lady.

SPEAKER_02 3:28

Not Mrs. Back Shots.

SPEAKER_09 3:30

No, not back shots, bag shots. My bad.

SPEAKER_10 3:38

It is Sunday when we're recording this. Man, where is your mind, honey? I know. V A G Shots. Okay.

SPEAKER_15 3:47

All right, Miss Bagshots.

SPEAKER_09 3:48

Okay. Let's go ahead and jump on into Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban. Chapter one, the Owl Post. Look, I fucked up the tile title already. It's titled Let me check it. Who I want to make sure. Oh, okay. Yep. I guess there's now the Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban. Chapter one, Owl Post.

SPEAKER_04 4:19

You you mentioned that Harry has a lot of homework to do. We just wrapped up the most traumatic school year. And these bitches said, you know what's gonna help y'all in between counseling sessions that we will not pay for or endorse a shit ton of homework. How dare they? Like, what I'm the reason why this school still exists. Kiss this ground. And y'all know I'm first off, you're already sending me back to my abuser, and now I still have to do my homework in the middle of the night burning candles and shit? No.

SPEAKER_09 4:56

Mmm. You make a great point. You see, now that you're Griffin, though, you can fully ride hard for your housemate because that is such a great point. Like, literally, there will be no school assignment, school to turn things back into because uh Aeroslyther would have wiped this damn school off the damn f. So what do you mean I have homework?

SPEAKER_04 5:13

Like, so you're telling me that Colin, who got petrified, her mind? I mean, her mind is gonna do the homework whether it's assigned or not. Right. Like, Colin is doing his homework. And how does he make up for like those months of being in the in the hospital?

SPEAKER_09 5:29

Mm-hmm.

SPEAKER_04 5:31

Make it make sense.

SPEAKER_09 5:32

No, no child left behind. This said everyone's moving on to the next next school year. So now Harry has received three packages from three hours, similar to Baby Jesus, Three Wise Men. Like I gave myself a little a few finger snaps when I thought about that because I was like, wait, the connection is there. Three owls, like coming to bring gifts to the chosen one. I said, Three wise men. Yes, yes, on his birthday. I remember something chat from my time in the shout out to all the churches.

SPEAKER_04 6:09

Shout out to that Drewski mega church skit.

SPEAKER_01 6:12

Oh my god.

SPEAKER_04 6:13

It was so good.

SPEAKER_15 6:20

What do you think of this is gonna sound so messed up.

SPEAKER_04 6:26

But they won 700 galleons. Generational wealth is dead of the Weasley's because this is the first time in your fucking life you have something.

SPEAKER_02 6:40

You're telling me you're taking nine family members and two pets to Egypt? No.

SPEAKER_09 6:48

I was waiting for them to get I was waiting for them to get waxed because yeah, yeah. The the the financial investment, the financial planning is not there when it comes to the Weaslies. Because what do you mean? You know, we'll get there, but I I knew exactly where you're going with that because I said, Okay, we'll get there. We'll get there. Okay.

SPEAKER_04 7:09

I mean, it's good though, because they'll they'll remember this vacation forever and ever and ever. And Ron's gonna get a new wand out of this finally. So that's a blessing. The universe said, we need some divine intervention. Let's have these bitches win the lottery because when else are they gonna replace this man's wand?

SPEAKER_09 7:31

So with the minister of magic gone and an excited Tom, he steps into escort Harry to his accommodations, having already taken his stuff up to his room. As Harry enters his room and he sees a comfortable looking bed, some nice oak furniture, a warm fireplace, and none other than Hadwigin.

SPEAKER_04 7:45

No, no, no, Diva is a female version of a hustler. You know, she was like, bitch, you know I'm here. She said, I'm back.

SPEAKER_09 7:52

She said, Oh, we got new accommodations, new digs. Oh, let me come and check out what we're gonna be doing.

SPEAKER_04 7:59

Well, actually, I'll check in early if that's the case. You know what? Today I am phenomenal. I I woke up with joy in my heart, and then I checked my email. I am officially licensed in the state of Maryland as a massage therapist.

SPEAKER_10 8:26

Congratulations. That's awesome.

SPEAKER_04 8:28

Thank you very much. I've mentioned it a decent amount of times on the podcast, but it's been a long journey, and I feel very proud of myself. I I journaled today. I just kind of took a moment to gather some gratitude for the experience of it all, and I'm really, really excited to start this new career path.

SPEAKER_09 8:50

Yeah, I think you were in massage therapy school when we were doing the podcast, when we started the podcast, right?

SPEAKER_04 8:56

Yeah, I think I even was on my lunch break when I texted you a TikTok about a girl reading Harry Potter for the first time, and it was through that conversation that this podcast that we're on happened. So it's kind of it was kind of kismitt. It was really cool. How are you doing?

SPEAKER_09 9:16

I am doing well. I am doing well, all things considered. Uh tired, of course, as usual, but what else is new? But something okay, now at least you have yes, I have to ask, or I have to say something. I'm gonna ask you something, and you will tell me if I should or should not discuss this on the podcast. Now, the other day, okay, something happened to me related to Harry Potter that I would like to share because this is a Harry Potter podcast after all, but it also may involve some criminal activity on my end. And Lord knows who's listening to this, but this may or may not prohibit Harry Potter sponsorship in the future. I'll be dramatic, but or uh, I don't know, so conflicting on whether or not to share it.

SPEAKER_04 10:14

Let's not put the cart before the wheel. No, just kidding. What is it? What is it?

SPEAKER_09 10:20

Okay, okay. So, quick story time before we get started with the chapter. And again, this is Harry Potter related. So I was I decided to go to the Harry Potter store in New York. I don't know if you're familiar with the Harry Potter store in New York, but it's literally like a landmark Harry Potter store, all things Harry Potter in Flatiron on like 23rd, 24th Street in New York. Um, it opened, I want to say now, probably like two or three years ago. I I remember going when it first opened. Craziness lines out the door, crowded, jam-packed. So that's what I was kind of expecting. But I think now that it's been there for a while, it's kind of like settled down. So now it's just like your standard tourist attraction. But it's like when you go to like Universal Orlando or whatever, and there's like the Harry Potter section of the park or whatever, and you go into this merch everywhere. And yeah, it's very nice. If you go on TikTok or YouTube, you can see tours of it or whatever. Maybe save it for when you actually go in person. But yeah, so it's very nice. But I went there to just go pick up a few things Harry Potter related for something else that I was doing. Okay, anyways. So I go, there's it's very not crowded, which I love. Uh it was like the middle of the day on what was this Monday. So yeah, so not crowded. So I'm just looking around, shopping, perusing, and they also like uh add new items and merch and things every time you go. So there's always something new there, so which I love. So it's it's it wasn't like it was it's I hadn't been in a while, so it's great. So I am going, I'm perusing, I'm looking around, things are great. There's two floors. I look through the first floor, then I go down to look through the second floor, then I come back to the first floor again. And I'm like, at this point, I have like two things in my hand, and yeah, I'm like getting ready to go to the checkout to pay and leave when all of a sudden I'm sorry, when all of a sudden the fire alarm goes off. Yes, and so now everyone is like looking around, like what's going on, what's going on? The employees start all like moving around, like you can tell there's just like one like a lead manager guy that's trying to like get things under control. We're all trying to figure out what's going on. I don't know if like guests went through the wrong door and it triggered the fire alarm. I don't know what happened. But we're all just like looking around, like, do we keep shopping? Like, do we need to leave? Because in New York, like a building fire alarm is nothing to play with because uh one, just of how like crowded it is and stuff, and then also like because all the buildings are so connected. If fire happens in one building, it can spread quickly. Just you know, it's it's here's situation. So we're just all looking around, like, what should we do? What should we do? And then finally they say everyone needs to exit, like the fire department's coming, so like everyone needs to leave. Um, I have my stuff in my hand that I haven't purchased yet, um, and I'm sure other people do too. And we're like, so what exactly are you supposed to do if we're buying stuff? And so I'm like, hmm. So I just start working on the city.

SPEAKER_04 12:51

My client is innocent. My client is innocent, Your Honor, and it's Black History Month. It's an emergency.

unknown 12:59

Thank you, thank you.

SPEAKER_09 13:00

So as I'm making my way to the exit, I think like one of the staff members can pick up on the fact that people have stuff in their hand that they haven't paid for. So she kind of like whispers, she doesn't even like command, she kind of whispers like, if you have anything you haven't paid for, just put it down. I was like, girlby.

SPEAKER_04 13:15

My client did not say that. He did not hear her.

SPEAKER_09 13:19

Yes, exactly, exactly. So I move past and I just move with the crowd out the door. Now I'm worried, I'm like, oh my gosh, as I'm going through the exit doors, I wonder if the you know the detectors are gonna go off for unpaid items. But the fire alarm is so loud, I'm like, even if it did go off, I feel like it wouldn't, it would just blend in with the fire alarm shout. So I just motivat out the damn store, and now I'm like standing outside the store with my two unpaid for items just in my hand or whatever. And I'm dumb. I'm just like standing outside the store, like, did I really just do that? Like a little, a little, little what's the word? Mischievous feeling. And I'm like, shit, I just I have items in my hand that I did not before. I probably should move away from this store. So I crossed that street so quickly and went like two blocks down, and then I put the stuff in my bag, and I just continued on with the rest of my day, and yeah.

SPEAKER_04 14:05

Okay, and if this makes the final cut, you're welcome. You're welcome, listeners. How did it feel to rob Green God's bank that day?

SPEAKER_09 14:17

It kind of felt good. It felt cunky, it kind of felt good. I felt a little cunky, and the thing is, after as I was like making my escape down the street, I could hear the like the fire sirens like coming towards the store. So I was like, oh shit. But I was also thinking, I was like, damn, I should have grabbed some more shit.

SPEAKER_04 14:32

Okay, that part we can add it out. Okay, now we're getting greedy. You see, you see one a one, two that you were already gonna, you know, you were already gonna work with. But no, no.

SPEAKER_09 14:44

I'll I'll post what I took on our Instagram, Harry Siren Mike.

SPEAKER_14 14:48

Hold on, don't get me into this. Hold on.

SPEAKER_01 14:54

At this point, you're a cocon spirit because you know about crap.

SPEAKER_09 14:59

Um, but it was it was actually like a I'll show you. It was um crocheting, crocheting kit of like a little mini Harry. It says it's a beginner's guide, but when it's I already started trying to do it, it is so hard. Like, I know with anything, it takes time and skill, and there's like a tutorial video that I've been following along, but this crocheting thing is no joke. I'm like, oh my god. So that was whipping my ass. And the other thing was just like a Harry Potter like uh postcard. But like I said, I wish I got more because like if you know anything about Harry Potter and like its merch, the merch would be so is like so expensive. So I was like, damn, I should have got a fucking sweater, like a $60 sweater, a cup, a mug. Like, I should have just started grabbing shit and then left. Maybe that would have been a little bit more like then I would have got like you would have been on the list.

SPEAKER_04 15:44

Yeah, you would they would have targeted your ass. Like, no. I mean, everyone already knows don't steal from Target. I don't know how Harry Potter is. I don't go to Target, so they don't gotta worry about me. But just just be grateful for the one-two that you got in.

SPEAKER_09 15:59

I know, yeah, exactly.

SPEAKER_04 16:01

Move along.

SPEAKER_09 16:02

Yeah, yeah. In my head, I was like, shit, was that the best thing to do? Because what if I want to? I obviously I would love to go back there like over and over again. Like, what if they have my face somewhere now? Uh someone that took stuff that didn't belong. And next time I go, they're like, you, like, you took stuff last time or something. I doubt it, but they'll probably just cut their losses for that day off. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_04 16:22

So both of us have worked in restaurants and the fire alarm has gone off, and sometimes, sometimes they don't pay the time, they just leave.

SPEAKER_09 16:28

Oh, that's true.

SPEAKER_04 16:29

And I've had that happen to me. I'm like, oh damn.

SPEAKER_09 16:32

Yes, I'd probably do it too, but were you enjoying pretty much the reading. Right. And I do it too again. What is it? And I do it again. All right. What is what is that?

SPEAKER_02 16:42

And I would do a two-point check.

unknown 16:43

Yes.

SPEAKER_02 16:44

No, you would do a two-point check.

SPEAKER_09 16:46

Yes, yes, yes, yes. Thank you. So that's my criminal hygiene story time at Dagon Alley Gringot, so to speak. Would I do it again?

SPEAKER_01 16:54

Well, yes.

SPEAKER_09 16:56

But yeah, so if you're listening, if anyone out there that's related to Wizarding World, Warner Brothers is listening to this, just know that that was all satirical, just a little bit of fun to start off our episode. And it wasn't true. Okay.

SPEAKER_04 17:09

And listeners, comment down below if you have stolen anything.

SPEAKER_01 17:14

Screaming.

SPEAKER_04 17:15

Uh allegedly, what did you take?

SPEAKER_14 17:18

What was the circumstances?

SPEAKER_09 17:24

As soon as Percy crosses the platform, he spots his boo, Penelope, and he like straightens himself out, pats out pats down his hair, like just and he just leaves to go to her. No bye to the family, nothing. He just says, See ya. But you know what? Okay, understandable, I guess.

SPEAKER_04 17:39

He's up this year. He got a girlfriend, he has a new job.

SPEAKER_09 17:42

No, literally, like, he is looking good for our boy, Percy. Everything is everything is coming up roots for Percy. Shout out to Gypsy. So the way Percy's acting, he better be laying it down. Why did I write that? Oh my gosh. I read I said that before I even read it. That is funny, but yeah, yeah. No, like the way he's acting, like I hope Miss Penelope is get, you know, having her chamber of secrets. Okay. I'll move it on. I'll move it on. I'll move it on. I'll move it on. Yes. But we know Percy likes to posh as well. And so, like, I like, yeah, I'm sure he's having a good old time with Penelope. So Draco immediately starts in being snared by calling Harry Harry Potty and Ron Ron Weasel. Her money's left unbothered. Love that for her. So I don't know. There's small little moments in these books so far that I'm like, hmm. I see why people take these small little interactions or non-interactions when it comes to these two, and they just run with it to make their fanfic about the two of them. Because people will just take that small moment of like Draco not saying anything about Hermione to be like, oh, maybe he like secretly liked her or whatever. So I don't know. I see where the fanfiction people will get their shit from.

SPEAKER_04 18:49

So oh, because when you were saying that, I was like, oh, period. A queen recognizes a queen.

SPEAKER_09 18:56

Well, maybe that too. Yes. Okay, we're still the Draco. It's queer theory. Okay, all right. Well, that's true. I love that. They will be having the queen off this uh book. So we'll see. Well that's all I'll say about that. I'll also say going to the movies is another one of my favorite pastimes that if I'm ever like stressed or just a lot going on, to just go to a movie and just to be in that dark theater, loud sound, big screen, and just going into another world for an hour or two, there's nothing like it for me. So those are my things that kind of warm me up a little bit when the mentors are around, so to speak. What about you?

SPEAKER_13 19:36

So you you need to go to the movies with your snacks. Yes, and then you'll get all the way leveled up again.

SPEAKER_09 19:41

I'd be having my little tote bag with my snacks and intel. I love my the movie chain I go to, shout out to AMC because one thing about them, they do not check. They say scan your ticket, they say theater for. I said, Thank you. I'll be having uh five guys in my bag, uh Chipotle when I You're admitting a lot this episode. Look, no, I only say that I shot them out because once I did, I went to Regal against my better judgment, because that's where my friend had bought tickets for. And I had like a little pack of Sour Patch kids. First off, they opened my bag with a flashlight to inspect it and then saw the Sour Patch and they made me throw it out. I was so mad. I said AMC and Nicole Kidman would never do me like this. Like, I'm never coming back here again. I love the aesthetics of the Regal Theaters, the like neon lights and all that stuff, but they'll make me throw out my strikes. I said, fuck y'all. So see, y'all lost a customer. We lost a customer, and y'all probably won't sponsor us at this point, but so be it. I'll just I'll stick with my AMC.

SPEAKER_04 20:31

That's where AMC is.

SPEAKER_09 20:32

Absolutely, absolutely.

SPEAKER_04 20:34

So hello AMC. Hello, Nicole Kidman.

SPEAKER_09 20:41

Not a moment after their feet hit the pavement. Here goes Draco wanting to know if it's true that Harry fainted, and that's what he heard from Neville. Now, Neville, let me whack you real quick.

SPEAKER_07 20:52

Are you talking to the op right now?

SPEAKER_09 20:56

What do you be messy for? Like, what are you being messy for?

SPEAKER_13 20:59

You cannot they were they were rude to him. So he said, let me get my lick back. Let me go to 34 bust down.

SPEAKER_09 21:06

Draco.

SPEAKER_04 21:07

I heard a little birdie told me that Harry Potter, Harry Potter face.

SPEAKER_09 21:12

Yeah, I don't know. Yeah, I don't, yeah. I guess, yeah, you like you can't tell me that he wasn't being a little malicious in this moment to spread that. Because why did what happened in the chain car have to leave that train card? Like, Neville, if you're gonna be hanging with the trio, you need to learn how to keep your motherfucking secrets because like the trio, they're locked in, they be keeping information tight. So, like, you can't be being messy like this to go, especially uh to Draco of all people.

SPEAKER_04 21:31

Like I'll I'll like if you want this trio to turn into a squad, aka a squad, be quiet and speak when spoken.

SPEAKER_09 21:41

Exactly. I'm gonna give Neville the benefit of the doubt and say maybe we'll talk into some other Griffin Doors, like maybe Dean and Seamus about it, and Draco overheard. But cause I don't I don't see it in Neville's character to go to Draco to tell him this information outright, knowing that like he's Litherin and all that shit. So I'm gonna give Neville the benefit of the doubt. But Neville, lock in because this was this was too messy on your part and it Just causes Harry so much stress at the start of the year and now having to deal with Draco on this whole shenanigan. And so if I was Harry, I would be paying Neville dust for the rest of the school year or until he apologizes or something.

SPEAKER_04 22:09

The rest of the year? Even though you used him to ride the nightbust, he was your alien.

SPEAKER_01 22:15

Not too much. No, no. The boy who lives.

SPEAKER_04 22:17

No, because we could go ban for ban. Like we could go bar for bar over here. No, I gotta have to stay. I have to stand up for Neville now. He does have strike one, but like he doesn't maybe once a month.

SPEAKER_09 22:29

Alright, not the rest of the year. You know what I mean? I'm petty. You pissed me off. I'm not talking to you ever again. Um, but okay, we'll say the first uh two weeks of school as a little punishment. You're not gonna get to talk to the boy who lived until you start learning how to act right.

SPEAKER_13 22:48

Even last year, where they had Oh Lord They had what was his name's name?

SPEAKER_09 22:54

Professor Lockhart, celebrity, celebrity, yes, with outfit changes. Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_14 22:59

Damn, you gave us E Liz. Right.

SPEAKER_09 23:01

How do we go from a celebrity star appearance? He had a different outfit for every day to a man with tattered robes that looks like he's supposed to be a freaking janitor or something. No, no shades of sanitation workers. Oop.

SPEAKER_04 23:14

Oh, okay.

SPEAKER_09 23:15

All right.

SPEAKER_04 23:17

You can join me at the end of the episode for the apology that I'm about to lay down.

SPEAKER_09 23:22

But yeah, so shout out to the sanitation workers. It's a job that needs to be done, and we appreciate it because it helps keep our living spaces clean. And and I heard that they get uh paid well, like uh garbage, garbage workers.

SPEAKER_04 23:35

Oh, yes.

SPEAKER_09 23:36

Yeah, I heard they get paid really well.

SPEAKER_04 23:37

So yes, because I used to watch the challenge and there was in the real world, and there was one of the guys, I forgot his name, but he was a sanitation worker. He was like, listen, I was always making money.

SPEAKER_09 23:48

Yeah, I love that. Yes.

SPEAKER_04 23:49

So yeah, so once Leroy, shout out Leroy.

SPEAKER_09 23:51

Oh, Leroy. Oh, yeah, yeah. I know Leroy. Oh, the challenge.

SPEAKER_04 23:54

Very attractive.

SPEAKER_09 23:55

Here you go. But in replacement of Professor Ketterburn will be our very own Rubius Hagrid. So Hagrid has gotten a promotion. Uh-oh. At least he does not look at this child. Uh-oh. But uh Rubius Hagrid is now the Caramagical Creatures Professor. He's at the professor's table. Uh now, this is a big promotion for Hagrid because Hagrid did not graduate from Hogwarts because he was falsely accused of opening the chamber of secrets, all that 50 years ago or whatever. So he was expelled in the third year. And it was just last book that he got cleared of the charges. No. I'm not yeah. Wait, how did that work? Oh, yeah, he got expelled back then. Oh, right. He got expelled, but then Dumbledore kept him on to be the groundskeeper or whatever. But he kind of like, I don't think he got officially cleared until last book or something like that. But yeah, so this is a big promotion for someone, for someone to be a Hogwarts professor without even having graduated from Hogwarts. But I feel like it's perfect for Hagrid because he's always around magical creatures. He has his big ass dog. He had was uh Fluffy, the three-headed dog that was guarding the uh sorcerer stone. He has friends with the spiders, the spiders at Acromantula and the Damn Forest, even the uh the what are they called? The centaurs, they're all they're kind of like separate from like yeah, they're like they're not they're I don't even want to call them magical creature before they come and get me, but yeah, so they're they're like separate, but like yeah, so he's just very familiar with he lives on the edge of the Forbidden Forest. So if there's anyone to be this in this position, it's Hagrid. So the trio and the rest of the Gryffiner table, they're all very excited for Hagrid. They're like cheering for him, clapping for him, and Hagrid's face gets a little fluts or whatever. But I I love that for Hagrid that he got this permission. And shout out to Dumbledore for entrusting Hagrid with this position. Let's see, how do you yeah, how do you feel about Hagrid?

SPEAKER_13 25:42

I trust him with the creatures.

SPEAKER_09 25:45

He is one.

SPEAKER_01 25:47

Say D. Not to trust him.

SPEAKER_04 25:49

I don't trust him with the children. They're not toys.

SPEAKER_13 25:55

Let's see. It's I mean, Lockhart was the worst.

SPEAKER_04 26:00

So, you know, we've had worst professors at Hogwarts. I'm just gonna say side eye, and I will hold the rest of my comments as we chug, chug, chug along. The Hogwarts Express. Let's see what happens. He's definitely fostering a hostile environment, which is yeah, it's not good for an educational environment. It's also the first week of school. So, like, can we relax?

SPEAKER_09 26:29

First class, first week of school. Like, can we take it on a knot?

SPEAKER_04 26:32

Like, really, it's just does Snape have chronic pain or something? Like, why is he always upset?

SPEAKER_12 26:39

Chronic pain.

SPEAKER_04 26:40

Why is he always like physical pain? What's wrong with him? Is he okay? He's just always in a bad mood. How weird. I know in season one we I don't know if I said it or maybe you alluded to the incelness of it all.

SPEAKER_10 27:00

No, yeah, that was you, Chad. Oh, it was me. Okay, I claim it.

SPEAKER_04 27:05

But now I'm like, okay, you are an incel with chronic pain or something.

SPEAKER_09 27:09

When you're saying chronic pain, do you mean physical pain or like emotional pain? Like are you?

SPEAKER_04 27:13

Physical, like you know, like when you're like constantly in pain, like you're more irritable. Shout out to all with chronic pain. Like, I'm not saying that it's a bad thing, it's just like, why is your baseline so low? Like, where is the joy?

SPEAKER_09 27:27

Yeah, very low vibrational matter. Okay. So did Lupin step in front of the box, like did Lupin's box art show, like when he ended it?

SPEAKER_04 27:41

So the students had made a comment when they were leaving how Lupart's was a crystal ball, and they were confused by that.

unknown 27:50

Oh, okay.

SPEAKER_04 27:51

So, did he date Professor Trey Loney? Were they lovers in a past class?

SPEAKER_10 28:02

We will have to find out.

SPEAKER_09 28:03

I just wanted to put I just wanted to put that on record. Okay, so Lupin's bogarts was a crystal ball, so we will see what that means.

SPEAKER_04 28:17

Whereas Lupin can transform a class, and a teacher like that is priceless.

SPEAKER_01 28:24

Yeah, he's transformative.

SPEAKER_04 28:26

I don't know. Someone throw him some pussy because we need help.

SPEAKER_01 28:30

So what? Did you say so? Did you say some pussy curve?

SPEAKER_14 28:36

He said someone throw him some pussy because we need help. It's late at night. It's a Saturday night.

SPEAKER_10 28:44

It's a Saturday child. Snape. Okay, let's just all right.

SPEAKER_04 28:53

Hermani starts to short circuit and says, No, today we're covering hanky punks. And Snape pops the f off and basically says, I thought I was teaching you. Not that your bitch ass was teaching me. Turn to page 3394, all of you. And now the whole class is on edge. They're like, the claws are out. And he says, Who can tell me the difference between a werewolf and a true one? Hermione who's still not like girl, go to the bathroom.

SPEAKER_08 29:23

No, she's all aware of nothing.

SPEAKER_04 29:26

She cannot help it. Literally, she raises her hand all alone. And Snape says, You're really telling me Professor Lupin has not taught one of you this. Pavardi then says, Like she said, we haven't covered this. He goes, Silence. Once again, silencing the women in the class. Noted. And then he says, I need to tell Dumbledore that you're in your third year and still don't know this information. He said, These kids are getting left behind. Where's George Bush? Her money says, please, sir, please, sir. And starts to explain the werewolf answer. Ooh, ooh, ooh, I'm scared for her. Snape interrupts again, takes five points away from her, and then proceeds to call her an insufferable know-it-all. Now the class is fuming. Okay. The pot is all the way from like a simmer to a rolling boil. Because not on our watch. We can call our girl insufferable plus know-it-all plus the combo. But you cannot.

SPEAKER_09 30:33

I was just about to say that. Like they all know how annoying Hermione is when it comes to being the teacher's pet and knowing everything. And they've come to love that about her. And probably just, uh, you know, it is what it is. There's always that one student in the class. We are on agreement that she's annoying, but you, sir, right now in this moment, how dare you try to call our good sisters that absolutely not. Absolutely not.

SPEAKER_04 30:51

No. And Ron defends his girl. That hugs me trip did something to him. Because he says, why ask if you don't want to be told? Because why? Why? The class knew at this moment he fucked up and snaped issues. Ron detection detention and says, if I ever hear criticism on your side, it's on side. All right. So it reads, Hi guys, I just wanted to say I love the podcast. My boyfriend and I have been listening since the beginning. We are long distance, and our third anniversary is coming up on March 24th. We listen to your episodes and discuss them during some of our calls during the week. Harry Potter was a conversation point on our very first date, and we still read the books together. Shout out to Noah. Tell him I love him for me. Thanks for the humor and personality you both bring. We think each episode gets better than the last, largely due to the sweet friendship that you two share. Sending love and looking forward to the next one, Kendra. So, Noah, if you're listening to this episode, first off, you got a good one in this lady. Because like I cried reading this, okay. Like, you know, you're lucky to be dating Kendra, and I need you to know this, Noah, on a cellular level. But in all seriousness, congratulations on three years. Happy anniversary to you too. We're sending you lots of love. Right on back, and we hope that no distance can ever break your bond. Shout out to Kendra and Noah.

SPEAKER_08 32:34

Yes.

SPEAKER_04 32:36

I love it. I love, love, love it. How sweet. How s I would never even think to do something like that. And like this woman loves you, Noah. I do have a prediction.

SPEAKER_09 32:54

Oh, let's hear it. We love a prediction.

SPEAKER_04 32:57

I think Sirius Black is innocent. And I think if he really is James's Potter's best friend, then there was a huge misunderstanding, and he was frank.

SPEAKER_08 33:09

What makes you get that?

SPEAKER_04 33:13

I mean, if you really are best friends all your life with someone, you can't like how can you just turn on them? That's like a brother.

SPEAKER_11 33:24

Okay.

SPEAKER_04 33:25

And then there was like a story to come. We'll keep talking and then I'll say why.

SPEAKER_09 33:31

Okay, okay, okay, okay. Interesting. Because shot, I've had friends that aren't friends on more child. So, you know, sometimes life as you get older, things happen. But okay, interesting prediction. I'm sad to continue uh unpacking that. But even so, Dumbledore remained worried and offered to be their secret keeper instead. Now, me personally, with something so serious and dire in terms of like my family and my baby's like life, if old, wise, powerful Dumbledore, like he wasn't as old as he is now, but if Dumbledore is offering to take on the responsibility of like keeping this secret and having the responsibility of it, absolutely fuck yes. Like I want him, like fuck a best friend. Yes, like fuck a best friend. Like serious black, you're best friend, we're best friends down, but the OG wizard in charge is like he's like Gandalf, like in terms of like Lord of the Rings, like he's offering to like be the secret keeper. Like, hell yeah, I'd want him to be the secret keeper instead of like what? That's yeah, without question.

SPEAKER_04 34:31

For our audience, who would you trust in the Hogwarts world to be your secret keeper? Put in the comments.

SPEAKER_09 34:39

I love that.

SPEAKER_04 34:40

I would trust Professor McGonagall.

SPEAKER_09 34:43

I feel like you're gonna say that. Yeah, yeah. She's a good one.

SPEAKER_05 34:46

How about so you're Dumbledore for sure?

SPEAKER_09 34:48

Yeah, I yeah, I would be Dumbledore. Well, maybe Hagrid also. Get him a drink.

SPEAKER_06 34:54

He can't even keep a dragon egg a secret.

SPEAKER_09 34:59

I just want you to whack him one good time. No, no, but Dumbledore for sure, Dumbledore absolutely like without fail. But maybe also Professor Snape.

SPEAKER_11 35:08

Ooh.

SPEAKER_09 35:09

Because he's very, like, you know, tight-lipped, close to the vest. Like, who knows what's bothering him? But I feel like if we're on good terms, because Lord knows a Snape, like he may be having a bad day, child, and not care about me one day.

SPEAKER_04 35:20

And it's like, you know, God forbid, he stubs the toe. You're fucked.

SPEAKER_09 35:23

Yeah, so I think it's safe to say that Professor Dumbledore would be the best person for this job. I do worry about the cleanliness of Hagrid's house sometimes. Like it's not a big living space. You have already have that big ass boarhound thing, you plus your big ass, and then you've had dragons coming through there. Who knows if Air Gogs come to visit? You now have this big ass flying bird. Like, that cannot be sanitary.

SPEAKER_04 35:50

I just do you think Hagrid be fucking in there? Okay, sorry, sorry, sorry. Well, he does go to the three room sticks, and like maybe he's picked up some.

SPEAKER_02 36:01

You know what?

SPEAKER_09 36:01

He loves a libation, so I know he'd probably be down at the three room stages after a few drinks in him. Someone approaches, like, oh, how you doing, big fella? Is it true what they say?

SPEAKER_14 36:09

It'll be so easy.

SPEAKER_04 36:11

Literally, just call him Big Fella. He's as googly eyes. If not, if not how would you okay, how would you hit on Hagar? Do it again, but say something else. If it was your job, you know, get this money.

SPEAKER_09 36:26

I love your beard. Oh my god, I have beard envy. Can I touch it? Oh wow, it's so soft.

SPEAKER_08 36:34

I don't know.

SPEAKER_14 36:36

I liked your first try better.

SPEAKER_04 36:37

The big fellow, the big fellow's good. Hi, big guy. How are we? Oh, I see you like a creature. I could be a creature in the night for you.

SPEAKER_09 36:48

They probably rent a room at the three broomsticks instead of bringing them back to Hogwarts Grounds to be By the hour. All right, we're moving on. We're moving on.

SPEAKER_04 37:01

So once Trey Lonnie says, you know, this big thing about dying, Professor McGonna goes, woo, rest.

SPEAKER_09 37:09

Girl, sit down. The food's gonna call me.

SPEAKER_04 37:10

And then, bitch, sit your fucking ass down.

SPEAKER_09 37:14

Okay.

SPEAKER_04 37:15

Sit down. This kind of sets the tone for the lunch because the two are gonna go back and forth. It's giving like Thanksgiving meal. It's not giving Christmas dinner, it's giving like, ooh, there's drama called the channel. Yes. Professor Trelani hesitantly sits down and she says, But where's dear Professor Lupin? And Dumbledore says, He's ill again. It's unfortunate because it's Christmas. And Trelani says, But you already knew he was ill, didn't you? She kind of smiles. She kinda smiles before Trelawney says, Certainly. But one does not boast that we are all knowing. I don't want to make these hoes nervous and look directly at McGonagall. And McGonagal says, That explains a good deal, meaning you didn't really say anything, bitch. And they have a little stare down. I said, I need the 14th seat. I want to be here. I want to be ready.

SPEAKER_09 38:19

The faculty are given sats back and forth in front of the students as crazy. Like, y'all need to be professional. My god.

SPEAKER_04 38:26

The girls are fighting.

SPEAKER_09 38:33

We'll be back very, very soon to discuss here part of the prisoner of Ascaban, chapter 12, The Patronus. So we'll see what that's all about. But until then.

SPEAKER_04 38:41

I prefer the Don Julio.

SPEAKER_08 38:42

Okay. You are so silly. I love it.

SPEAKER_04 38:50

I don't know why, but this reminded me of when. Do you remember when Justin Timberlake got his DUI last year? And immediately he goes, This is gonna affect the toy. That's wood when it comes to anything Quidditch. He's like, This is gonna affect the Quidditch. I know we're kind of tangenting, but like Reese Witherspoon, her ex-husband, some similar situation. Ryan Phillip, yeah. The one that cheated on her with the babysitter later on. Damn, damn. You lost the rich woman because she went on to make all these books to movies and production companies out the ass. Like she is in the pocket.

SPEAKER_09 39:28

But but it was when they were younger, right?

SPEAKER_04 39:30

They were younger, and she was like, Do you know who I am? Because he was getting arrested. She was like, How dare you do this in front of me? Do you not know sweet home Alabama? Okay, back to Hogwarts. Back to Hogwarts. And in the distance, you hear Hermione, who's gathering her books, kind of suck her teeth. And Ron whips his head, like, what's all that noise about? And Hermione's like, oh nothing, but isn't it obvious? And Ron doesn't give her a chance to answer. He's like, Well, if you don't want to answer, you could fuck off. So she's like, fine. And she fucks off. And Harry's just like, damn. What were you gonna say?

SPEAKER_11 40:16

Honestly.

SPEAKER_09 40:17

No, honestly, I'm with Ron on this one. Cause like, you know, we're upset with you. You know we're not fucking with you right now because you're a fucking snitch. So don't even try to come and try to wooze your way back into conversation and friendship with us by trying to like hint at information that we don't know about. Like, I'm with Ron in this one. Like, fuck off, Hermione. Like, bye.

SPEAKER_04 40:32

Well, then are you with Ron with what he says? He tells Ron she doesn't know. She just wants us to talk to her again.

SPEAKER_09 40:42

Well, no. Well, now we know Hermani is not to be messed with. I know she probably knows what's going on when it comes to Lufin, but I just don't like her trying to like uh breadcrumb it in front of them, like because they obviously want to know too. But like, I don't like her using her knowledge and intellect in this moment to try to weasel her way back in. Like, we need an apology. Like, I don't like people that don't apologize when they do wrong. Like, no, like apologize first before you try to get back in our good graces.

SPEAKER_04 41:04

Or at least acknowledge, acknowledge what you did at the minimum.

SPEAKER_09 41:09

She doesn't think she did anything wrong, so she's she doesn't feel like she needs to apologize.

SPEAKER_04 41:12

So yeah. Uh you stole Christmas girl. That apologize.

unknown 41:17

Yes.

SPEAKER_04 41:23

But is Hermione splitting herself like magically? Can can you be in two different places at the same time?

SPEAKER_09 41:31

That's a good question. And I will say anything is possible with magic, but I don't know how I don't know if that's within her skill set right now. I am I don't know. I would like to think that Hermione is just such a good student that maybe they're allowing her to be self-teach? Self-teach, something like that, like self-teach or come after hours to get the lesson notes or something, and as long as she can turn in her work on time, I don't know. Cause I guess realistically, there's not enough time in your seven years at Hogwarts to take every single class. That's why they're elective. Yeah. So, but because again, Hermione is like such a great witch or whatever, they they're giving her the opportunity, like, okay, you really want to learn it all. Like, we're gonna try to help you in any way we can. So I don't know.

SPEAKER_04 42:13

So I'm like, either she's splitting herself or she might have like a groundhog spell where you live the same day, but now you can attend one class and then you live it again, you can live attend in the other. Kind of excited to figure out what the answer is. I mean, it's probably what you're saying, you've read the books, but yeah.

SPEAKER_08 42:32

Oh no, trust me. Trust, trust, I will never give it away fully child.

SPEAKER_04 42:44

And Ron is very petty, holds grudges, and he's not always the first to apologize. So I'm glad that Harry is the buffer between the two of them sometimes. In in trios, you know, the triangulation of it all happens where it's like 2v1, but then it's it's a person who is not in the beef. They have to be the mediator, they have to be the person say, Hey, you know, let's take an opportunity to make up. You know, we're all friends here.

SPEAKER_11 43:14

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 43:14

And they take turns doing that.

SPEAKER_11 43:16

Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_04 43:17

Do Ron and Harry ever get into it? I'm excited. I wanted them to rumble.

SPEAKER_08 43:24

Well, we'll we'll have to see. Okay. Boys will be boys. Um, okay.

SPEAKER_09 43:36

But then also knowing what we know about Ron and his family's like financials, I wish someone would give Ron something out of the like uh just out of this world, like something that's so expensive that's out of his reach that he'd really, really want. Because the way he's just so excited for Harry and his broom, and like, oh, he's like, Oh, I'll take a rehearry, like I'll put it back. And he's like, I just like I want some him to have something like that of his own. Especially since Harry can afford he could afford to. By himself, like so the fact that he was gifted this, I was like, damn, like I'm I'm happy for Harry too. He's a very skilled Quintage player, but I want Ron to have something nice like this, too. But I guess it's nice to have a friend that has it and that's wanting to let you use it.

SPEAKER_04 44:12

So like it would have been nice when Ron was spending almost an entire academic year with a broken wand if someone had sent him one.

SPEAKER_09 44:21

Absolutely.

SPEAKER_04 44:21

That's yeah, or if Harry said, you know what, let me check the account and wire some money to my friend.

SPEAKER_09 44:29

Okay, well, I was with you for the first time. Now, people have made the argument that, like, people have definitely pointed out that Harry may be considered a bad friend because he's so financially well off and he sees that Ron and his family's in dire straits, and he doesn't really offer to financially help them in any type of way, whether it be like, I don't know. And but people are like, he's a 13-year-old boy, you shouldn't be putting the responsibility, uh financial responsibility on him, especially when it's his parents' money. To like, I don't know. I guess uh two things can be true at once. Financially, he doesn't really need shouldn't be supporting. I don't know. It's it's how how can I say this?

SPEAKER_04 45:06

Because you know, remember when I'm telling him to take on a Weasley mortgage. I'm telling him, you could have pitched in a little bit. We could have started a GoFundMe for your friends broke for your friends one. Yeah, put the foot in some some galleons, ten galleons, something.

SPEAKER_09 45:27

Madam Hooch's whistle blows to signal the end of the match and Gryffindor's victory. Ugh, won't he do it? Won't he do it? We've come such a long way from Harry flung off his broom during the Huffle Patch Hufflepuff match to now him, not even giving the dementors a second thought. He said, Child, I don't got time for this. I prepare for this moment, like this is my time to shine. I just love it for him. Like, just a beautiful, beautiful thing. I love it.

SPEAKER_04 45:50

It's like I wish that I could have this moment for life.

SPEAKER_10 45:56

No, literally. Oh my goodness. Oh, Nikki. So the solo fuck. Oh my god. Oh my god, Billy Porter.

SPEAKER_14 46:10

Is anyone still listening? We're like three hours in, but you know what? We're having a good time.

SPEAKER_04 46:20

They put Sir McDon, what's his name? McDuggins?

SPEAKER_09 46:24

Uh Kadagan.

SPEAKER_04 46:25

Sir Kadagan on the clearance section, then Big Lots in the back. And he belongs there because even when he was working every day, the students didn't like him either. He was always changing the password. So it's like you're doing too fucking much. And then you let Homeboy in. Bye. I'm very surprised that the fat lady came back for her old position. I know she has security now, but damn, she has a good therapist.

SPEAKER_09 46:56

No, honestly, shout out to her because she said, look, I know, like, and she's like, she worked through her trauma of getting sliced up, defending these damn kids. And she said, No one's better at this job than me. And I take pride in taking care or protecting these kids. And look what happened when I left. So as long as I come back with new workplace protections, I'm gonna go back to doing my job. So I'm not mad at it. So now this whole confrontation. So basically, Snape takes him all the way down to his office slash classroom and just unloads, I feel like what's been building up in Snape for a while in terms of just pent up presentment against not only Harry, but Harry's father, as we come to learn. Snape is calling James Potter everything but a shot of God. He's calling him arrogant, a mediocre quidditch player. He even calls him a shredder, or he says that he shredded around Hogwarts Castle with his friends and admirers. And I love that Harry's clap back in this moment as my father did not strengthen, and neither do I. And at one point, Harry loses his cool completely and just tells Snape to shut up and reminds him that you should be so lucky because my father actually saved your life. And Snape counters him with, Oh, is that what you think happened, sweetie? Is that really what you think happened, sweetie? You're delusional. Beyonce, Beyonce, Beyonce.

SPEAKER_05 48:08

Luther Van Dross.

SPEAKER_09 48:10

Luther Van Drass. Because Snape is actually, I don't know what Dumbledore told you about that whole situation, but James only saved my life because it was to save his own skin after him and his friends played a prank on me that could have ended up getting me killed. So he only saved me in order to kind of like reverse what he had already thought about doing when it came to me, whatever. So he just views uh his father, James, as a coward, not as a hero, and thinks Harry's just right in line with him when it comes to that.

SPEAKER_04 48:37

And Harry does not play about his dead dad, as we saw at Aunt Marge's dinner.

SPEAKER_09 48:41

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 48:42

Where he was talking to her all types of crazy, and then for him to say shut to snake.

SPEAKER_09 48:49

I was gagged, I was goofed, I said, oh.

SPEAKER_04 48:54

Like out of all the professors, that'd probably be the last one to get away with. Like you could get away with saying that too, and for you to not even care. I don't know, Harry. That was that was very intense. Very intense. But now we know more of Snape's lore, I guess, and Harry's dad's lore. Because it's very obvious that Snape did not like James Potter.

SPEAKER_09 49:23

Yeah, yeah. No, where this is like the first time we're really getting that. And I guess, do you think that's why Snape treats Harry the way he does?

SPEAKER_04 49:31

I feel like that's like 10% why. There must be like a bigger why.

SPEAKER_11 49:37

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 49:42

But Snape brought up a good point. He said, this entire school has gone above and beyond to make sure that you are safe. We have above like we have upped the security levels, we have the mentors here, all for you to fucking escape and go to Hogsmead. Like you're ungrateful. And I I think Snape earned some points in this from my view, because I thought that was a really good point. What did you think when he said that?

SPEAKER_09 50:10

No, he definitely brought up a good point. And I am I I remember if you can call back to when Harry said, I don't go looking for trouble, trouble finds me. Well, in this case, Harry, I don't think that's really the truth. And as you see, it didn't work out in your favor. So, you know, it's the up the chapter is titled Snape's Grudge, but it it needs to be titled Snape Maybe Onto Something when it comes to Harry and his hijinks. So yeah, because things could have just gone from worse to worse.

SPEAKER_04 50:34

So we'll see. Also, like I think this is a good learning lesson, and these are the lessons that you learn as a young kid. Sometimes the universe sends you signs that you're not supposed to do something, and if you keep ignoring it, it catches up to you. So immediately Hermione was like, I'm gonna tell on you, don't do it. That was just a verb verbal thing. Second thing is that Neville is continuously trying to hang out with you and like kind of almost stopped your original plan. Then, third thing, now you have Snape who's literally inspecting the one-eyed witch because he has like a vibe, like something's off, and you still go. Then you're in the Hawks meet. It's not enough for you to just enjoy yourself. You had to fuck with Draco. And you didn't listen to Cardi B when she said no face, no case, because you left that shit hang off. And then he saw you. As you get older, you'll start to realize that these are warnings, and then you're gonna change the direction of what you think is best for you. It's like, oh, actually something else is trying to say. This is not okay, and I need to do something else. And I hope Harry learns the lesson sooner than later because especially when it comes to Harry, a lot of his actions have very dangerous consequences. Like you came in into this world pretty much being hunted, you're still being hunted, and you're acting like it's your right to go on spring break. If you don't stay indoors one spring break, like why the fuck did he think it was okay to even go to Hogs Meade? Like, why did he even he already went the first time?

SPEAKER_09 52:12

That's true.

SPEAKER_04 52:13

Because you didn't see one side of the street, now you gotta return.

SPEAKER_09 52:17

Like you got to experience it once, and you barely even made it out alive, quote unquote, that time because Professor McGonagall and all of them came down and you almost got caught that time. So that's enough should have been like, okay, you know what? Let me cool it. But then you decide to go again after Serge Spike just broke into the girlfriend common room and like they've heightened security after school. Like, so okay, I was a little hard on her mind at the beginning, but now that uh you're talking through it, I'm seeing more, more, I'm seeing her side more and more like Harry, sit your ass down. I also have this fun little story time that I want to share with you. I gave you a little preview of, but I want to go more into depth now that we're back reunited on the podcast. I miss talking to you. I feel like it's been a little bit a little. I don't know what I'm gonna do when we're in between books and we're taking a little vacation. I'm like, where's my girl, Lucy? But uh, but yeah, okay, so pretty much. So I went to the sexual health clinic to do some STI testing. I'd go every three months. You guys don't top that.

SPEAKER_04 53:12

And listeners, Clawkin, if you've been thinking about going, here is your sign from the universe. Get your ass over there.

SPEAKER_09 53:19

Yeah, absolutely. And New York does this really cool thing where it's free, like whether you have health insurance or not, you literally just have to show up, fill out some forms, and can go and get it done. Free testing. It's a really great program. So I take advantage of it every three months.

SPEAKER_04 53:31

I go to the Marylander take her ass over there. Well, you gotta be from over there.

SPEAKER_09 53:36

Yeah, I think you you can if you come, you could get free testing. So the ladies that's doing my testing this time, I go into her office and she like steps out to go get some paperwork or something, and I see a Harry Potter, a few Harry Potter figurines in her office. Like it's her office is decorated with a whole bunch of shit, but I see like a Harry Potter Funko Papa thing. I see a little figurine of Professor Trelawney. So I'm like, oh my gosh. Like I was like, I was like, oh my gosh. So instantly I like perked up. I was like, she must be a Harry Potter fan. But obviously, this is like a medical environment. Like, I don't know if this is the appropriate place to be like, are you a Harry Potter fan? Like, oh like you know what? I was just like, maybe she's just especially when she's doing my testing and stuff. I'm like, I don't know if this is right, but I couldn't help myself. So when she came back in, I let her get my intake information or whatever. And I was like, oh, are you a fan of Harry Potter? She instantly like lit up, like so excited to talk to someone about this. Um, so then we just start shooting the shit about Harry Potter, talking about our both our fandoms of it, just you know, just going, going like it just it made both of our days would talk about Harry Potter and just everything about it. And she's talking to me about how she discovered Harry Potter and how she's been a lifelong fan and trying to get her kids into it and everything. And it just is, and then of course I had to bring up the podcast. I was like, Oh, well, if you love Harry Potter, you love my podcast. She's like, What's it about? And I explained the concept to her about my friend who's reading it for the first time and me a lifelong fan. She's like, I'm sold. And you know, sometimes people like you'll tell someone about something, and I'm like, Oh, yeah, I'll like look into it or whatever, like, I'll look it up. No, she pulled out her phone right there, opened up her Spotify, uh, typed it in, and then pulled it up and saved it and everything. I think she already listened to the first episode because she commented on it. And yeah, so her name's Leslie. She's like, next time I go back to get my testing, I'm like, is Leslie here? Like, I want her to do my testing. Um, but it was so funny because as we're talking about um Harry Potter and stuff, she's like pricking my hand to the HIV test or whatever. Um, so we'll be talking about Harry Potter, and she's like, put your hand out for me, prick pricks my hand, and then she'll put it in the little rapid testing thing, and then she'll like, oh, you're HIV negative, and then she's like, Okay, but anyways, yeah, back to Harry and stuff. So I'm like, it's just the most funniest thing. I was like, only me, only a multitasker. No, literally. So yeah, so we're just shooting this shit about Harry Potter, having a good time. So this is your official shout out, Leslie. Shout out to you. Can't wait to see you again and you talk more about Harry Potter. Um uh, she said she's gonna listen from the beginning, so she it might take her a while to get to this episode. But here's your shout-out now. So once you finally do get to the episode, here it is.

SPEAKER_04 55:58

Hey girl, if you're still here, amazing. We hope you're doing really well.

SPEAKER_09 56:04

Exactly. So it was just a really cool experience, and like you never know where you're gonna meet someone that's a Harry Potter fan. And yeah, so that was a really cool moment for me. So I thought that was really cool.

SPEAKER_04 56:18

How could he be taken seriously as a teacher if he's crying over a pet? Ooh, Harry and Ron move to Draco with a swiftness, but her money was quicker. I'm telling you, from one moment to the next, she bitch slaps this man, she sends him all the way back to second year. I don't know what happened. And she said, Don't you dare call him pathetic. You foul evil, and she's about to say, motherfucker. But Ron tries his best to stop her. Hermani then takes her wand out because she's ready for round two. And Draco backed off because at this point he's scary. Like Hermani has snapped, and you'll see that this can be a theme for this chapter. She's she's a whole new bitch. Like, I don't know what happened to her, but she's like, I'll apologize to Ron. Everyone else can get it.

SPEAKER_11 57:09

Right.

SPEAKER_04 57:10

So Draco backs off and he takes Gravengoyle with him because he's scared.

SPEAKER_09 57:15

Mind you, his uh cheek is so pink with a fresh slap mark on his face. Like, oh, I know he's upset, child.

SPEAKER_04 57:22

I know he liked it too. He was like, Hold on. We're gonna do that again one day. And Hermione basically says, You better fucking beat him in the Quidditch final and leaves. The next class is even though it's not of Hermani's business, Hermione cuts in and says, For God's sake, not this motherfucking grim reaper again. Professor Treloning, Pavardi, and Lavender all snap their heads and glare at critic Hermani. Now a very pissed off Professor Trilliani gathers Hermani all the way together. She tells her that she simply does not have what it takes to pass this class, and goes even further by telling Hermani, You are the only student that I've ever taught who was so hopelessly mundane.

SPEAKER_08 58:18

Caught her a basic ass, no third eye seeing bitch.

SPEAKER_04 58:25

Professor Trelani invented the term basic bitch in the 90s. Hopelessly mending. I had to put the book down.

SPEAKER_07 58:34

I said, oh clutch.

SPEAKER_09 58:36

Not trying to put the book down. Mundane is such a like the call someone mundane. Ooh, that's like that takes extra effort. Like, not just basic, not just boring, mundane.

SPEAKER_04 58:45

Mundane. She said, it ain't my fault, you're a snooze fist, mama. Her money takes this L and goes and dismisses herself. She basically says, Alright, I've had enough of this bullshit class. I'm out, I'm stressed, goodbye. And I said, Damn, her attendance today is headed in a downward spiral because now she's missed two classes.

SPEAKER_10 59:12

Two classes.

SPEAKER_04 59:13

And bitch slapped a student.

SPEAKER_10 59:15

Right.

SPEAKER_04 59:15

Hermani, they're gonna put you on a list. Your muggle parents are about to hear about this.

SPEAKER_09 59:21

No, like what is going on with our daughter? My Virgo sister's acting out. Honestly, sometimes when you push the Virgo to their limits, child.

SPEAKER_04 59:29

It's because Virgos, y'all can handle a lot of pressure.

SPEAKER_09 59:34

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 59:35

But you're still human. And it's bound to explode. And if you're Virgo listening, just see if that message was for you.

SPEAKER_12 59:47

Okay.

SPEAKER_04 59:48

Once the class settles down from this dramatic exit, Lavender remembers that it was Professor Trelone who predicted that around Easter time, which is around now, one of their own classmates would leave. Lavender is simply gagged by this, and she's truly amazed by Professor Trelone's like psychic powers. She's just like, My girl, my beautiful lady.

SPEAKER_09 1:00:11

That did gag me a little bit because she did foresee that. She said during Easter, one of us would leave us forever. And obviously, when she first said that, it kind of gave like, oh, someone's going to die. She didn't really say in what way that they would leave. But for it to come true and for it to be Hermione, it's like, oh shit, okay, maybe you do got a little third eye going on. So because she really couldn't have predicted that. That's why I feel like Professor Trelani is like half bullshit, half not. Because like sometimes I think she should be saying, I'm like, girl, did you know ahead of time this or that? So that's obviously why I'm saying that. But in this case, there's really no way she could have pinpointed that Hermione was going to end up quitting this class at this exact moment in time. So I'll give her, I'll give Trelani her tens this one time.

SPEAKER_04 1:00:50

Tens on the board for her. And Professor Trelani said, Listen, I knew she was leaving, but I hope that it wasn't so. An open inner eye can also be a burden. So she's teaching the girls, like, listen, yes, I'm powerful, yes, I'm that girl, but also sometimes it hurts. Lavender and Pravardi were extremely impressed by this again. Ron comments to Harry that Hermione is having some day, right? But Harry was a little distracted by yet another grim appearance. Like, once again, y'all be having your dramatics, your antics, and I'm over here predicted to die. And no one seems to care.

SPEAKER_09 1:01:34

And as Harry left the Great Hall, I thought this was interesting. Cho Chang, the Ravenclaw seeker, wished Harry good luck, causing Harry to blush and perhaps get a slight erection.

SPEAKER_02 1:01:45

Oh, you had to say that.

SPEAKER_10 1:01:48

It was in my notes. I'm sorry. Okay, I'm sorry.

SPEAKER_06 1:01:50

But I mean, he's a teenage boy.

SPEAKER_09 1:01:53

Come on. Boys will be boys. Yeah, come on. We've all been 13 ones.

unknown 1:01:58

Okay.

SPEAKER_09 1:01:59

Oh, don't try to get all pretty sh on me now, honey.

SPEAKER_15 1:02:02

You're right.

SPEAKER_09 1:02:02

You're right.

SPEAKER_15 1:02:03

It's just fun on the other side.

SPEAKER_09 1:02:06

Right. Got through it. That was a lot of sports talk. It wasn't the most enjoyable. I hope it was easy to follow along. To summarize, just know that Griffin Dor basically won because Silicon was decided to play so dirty and so violently that half the score, half the points that they scored were from penalty shots, and that Harry did what he needed to do to bring it home. Yes.

SPEAKER_04 1:02:30

And if Lee Jordan ever needs to go on vacation, he needs to hand you the mic. Because reading that, I didn't give a fuck. But I was actually in it with you.

SPEAKER_10 1:02:40

Oh, I appreciate it. Thank you. Thank you.

SPEAKER_04 1:02:42

No, thank you. Thank you for your services.

SPEAKER_09 1:02:45

I appreciate it. So a truly joyous celebration now is taking place on the Quidditch field in that moment from Oliver Wood, teary-eyed. You know, Oliver Wood, this was his last chance to win the Quidditch tournament. So it's nice to have for him now that he's about to graduate, he's able to have this memory of winning. So all his hard work paid off. So he's teary-eyed, he's embracing Harry. All of Griffindor Quidditch team are embracing each other. Haggard is excited to share the news of the win with Buckbeak. I said, Haggard, you need some human friends. Like, like that's the first thing I thought. I said there's all this excitement going on. People are joyously celebrating, and you're talking about some I can't wait to tell Buckbeak. An animal that doesn't know what Quidditch is. I said, okay, Hagrid.

SPEAKER_04 1:03:26

An animal that's not about to be here next week.

SPEAKER_09 1:03:28

No, literally.

SPEAKER_04 1:03:29

Let's get a replacement, Bogba.

SPEAKER_01 1:03:31

Buckbeak's like, fuck, do I care about a Quidditch match, bitch? I'm about to die. You need to be fucking prepared for my fucking trial, bitch.

SPEAKER_04 1:03:38

Buckbeak is the Harry of Hagrid's life. Because Harry's always like about to die. And everyone's just celebrating around him. Buckbee's like, no.

SPEAKER_10 1:03:48

Like, you must have lost your mind. Like, what do you mean?

SPEAKER_09 1:03:56

And it's five stars, and it says amazing podcast. Great host. Love the concept of a new reader and veteran. And the hosts are people of color, thank God, with black hand-raised emojis in the air.

SPEAKER_04 1:04:10

I'm a white Latina, but well, because we got this email saying, like, congratulations on being a black podcast. Did you read that?

SPEAKER_07 1:04:20

And I was like, Wait, we're like, am I gonna get canceled? Am I open?

SPEAKER_09 1:04:25

I'm black enough for the both of us, pal.

SPEAKER_07 1:04:27

Okay, okay, there you go.

SPEAKER_09 1:04:29

Black lead. Black lead or something. Black lead, yeah.

SPEAKER_07 1:04:32

Yeah, you are the colour.

SPEAKER_09 1:04:33

I think you're a person of color.

SPEAKER_07 1:04:34

Yeah.

SPEAKER_09 1:04:35

But I appreciate that you, you know, you don't you because I I wanna say your wife passing. You would you say your wife passing? Well, we don't have to get to your whole identity right now, too. But I don't know. I I I I I think you can take the personal color moniker, but I well, thank you, Garland, for that review. Now you gotta be all introspective stuff. So the next morning was uh the first exam up was a carry magical creatures exam with Hagrid, and it was possibly the easiest exam out of the bunch. Clearly, Hagrid was preoccupied with Buckbee's looming fates, as all the students were tasked with doing was keeping the flawber worms that they were assigned alive for the exam hour. And as the flawber worms are, well, you know, worms, all they pretty much had to do was leave them alone. I said, in my mind, I said, Hagrid, maybe being a professor isn't the right career path for you, Papa.

SPEAKER_04 1:05:30

Like no, but he could be a teacher in Florida in 2026 because you got the right attitude past all these students and don't give a fuck about their education.

SPEAKER_09 1:05:39

Literally that. I said, you know what? I was rooting for you at the beginning. I said, let's see how this develops, but now that we've had the whole school year, I said, Hagrid, yeah, but yeah, as yeah, uh, so yeah, so that was his exam. I said, Okay, Hagrid, sure. But you know what that kind of reminded me of in college. I had an exam. I had an exam, and the TAs were supposed to bring the exams to the lecture hall, but they forgot to print it out. Something, it was a mistake on their end. So we're like sitting around. The exam time block had already started and we're like waiting for the exams. So then the professor is like, you know what? This isn't on you guys. We messed up, referring to the TAs that didn't do what they were supposed to do. So, but you guys showed up ready to take your exam. So, what I'm gonna do is if you're here, come sign your name on the attendance sheet in the front and everyone leave. You all get an A. When I tell you, we were all like, What is happening? Like, there was no exam taken. We just had to come up to the front, sign that we showed up, and we got an A. I said, Oh my god. And it was for like a statistics class or something. So it was some like, you know, an exam that was probably gonna be somewhat hard. We said, Oh, we could not believe everyone was talking as we left the exam hall. We were like, What? A like 100% A, like Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 1:07:00

Someone's ancestor made sure that that happened. Someone was praying the night before, like, please send me a blessing. I'm gonna fail this exam. They're like, don't worry, I got it.

SPEAKER_09 1:07:08

Literally, literally, someone's ancestor, but then also our professor was going to be with the ancestors soon because what okay? This is a funny. I'll try to segue, but he had some type of like terminal illness or something. So I think he um he knew he was like on his way out. So it was it was partly like I can do whatever I want because I'm probably not gonna be here soon, but then also like let me bless these kids with one last like swan song type situation. So I think like a few like a month or two into the summer, we got noticed that he passed away or whatever. So shout out to him for like yeah, RIP, but shout out to him for like leaving us with that. But yeah, so yeah, that I that was.

SPEAKER_02 1:07:50

Oh, what a story.

SPEAKER_09 1:07:51

Yeah, that's one of my college experiences that I'll never forget. But, anyways, okay. Um, it's exam season of Hogwarts. I'm just being all rum next up by college now. What can I do? Oh, okay.

SPEAKER_04 1:08:04

Ron goes to pick up Scabbers in disbelief. And if Scabbers had looked bad on his last dying days that we thought, where his hair was all patchy and he was all skinny, he looks worser now. Patches of hair were missing, and this rat weighed next to nothing at this point.

SPEAKER_09 1:08:22

So he needs his rats on it.

SPEAKER_04 1:08:23

He does. Yeah, he hasn't been medicated all these days. Like, fuck. Scabbers seemed also really anxious to be in Ron's hands, and he kept wanting to break free. And Ron's like, Scabbers, come on now, come on now. Scabbers like, fuck you. I can't breathe. I haven't eaten in years.

SPEAKER_10 1:08:44

You left me to die. You left me to fet for myself. That crazy cat was trying to kill me, bitch.

SPEAKER_04 1:08:50

This is called PTSD um trigger. Agrin looks out the window, and in the outskirts, he sees Dumbledore, Cornelius Vudge, and the executioner on the way to the house. Guys, you have to go back to school now. Get out of here. The trio witness Buckbeak looking nervously left and nervously right. It's as if he knew his days were numbers. He's just like Scabbers.

SPEAKER_10 1:09:16

Right.

SPEAKER_04 1:09:16

All these are shaking, shaking.

SPEAKER_10 1:09:20

No, Buckby said, wait a minute, not me. Not honey, not me about to get turned into a bird's deal.

SPEAKER_04 1:09:26

What is an axe doing here on the premises? Fuck no.

SPEAKER_09 1:09:30

Why am I chained up, bitch?

SPEAKER_04 1:09:33

I never told you I like pumpkins. Why am I here?

SPEAKER_09 1:09:37

All because I sliced that damn rude blum bitch up at the start of turf. Like, what the fuck?

SPEAKER_04 1:09:48

I think so far, Chamber of Secrets is probably my favorite.

SPEAKER_12 1:09:55

And then immediately this one.

SPEAKER_04 1:09:59

So there's definitely room for this to be my favorite, depending on how this all ties together. Because the way the chamber secrets, Chamber of Secrets, when they pull that Jinny card, that's a that was shocking. So let's let's see if they can do it again. Yeah, I need to be gagged, JK. All right, and then you need to be gagged and that was good.

SPEAKER_08 1:10:25

That was good, that's good.

SPEAKER_09 1:10:30

Thank you for the wafair gift card, by the way. That was very nice of you. I haven't used it yet, but I think I might use it on a chair. So I think because I'm sitting on the floor right now.

SPEAKER_04 1:10:37

It was home goods, not wafair. Don't cancel me. Oh, right, wait, wait, wait.

SPEAKER_01 1:10:42

No, Wayfair, wasn't that the one involved in the money laundering? Or the child something. Not wafer.

SPEAKER_14 1:10:51

Silly like $20,000 closet name Emily.

SPEAKER_09 1:10:56

We are not involved in any child scheme. I resend that comment. I did not mean Wayfair, I mean home goods. Okay.

SPEAKER_04 1:11:09

So earlier in this season, we wished a happy anniversary to a specific couple named Kendra and Noah. Kendra reached out to us, she sent us a listening owl, and like the Hedwig Guinas inside of us, we were able to deliver the message to her boyfriend. A beautiful, beautiful man, a beautiful, beautiful woman in a beautiful, beautiful relationship. Just from these emails, they're lovely people. And Noah decided to reach out to us. Coda and Alicia. In the summer of 2025, I randomly got a Harry Potter itch and started looking up Harry Potter podcasts. Y'all popped up and only had two episodes at the time. I goff listening to your banter though, and you made me fall in love with the magic all over again. So thank you. Earlier this season, I was surprised to hear my own name out of y'all's mouth. It turns out my long distance girlfriend outdid me on anniversary gifts and decided to give me a shout-out via our favorite podcast. I am simply returning the favor to her and wishing my greatest love is what he calls her.

SPEAKER_00 1:12:17

Ah the greatest love.

SPEAKER_04 1:12:24

So sweet. And wishing my greatest love, Kendra, the happiest birthday ever. Whether we are joined at the hip in college or communicating cross-country in graduate school, you make every day even better. Coda and Alicia, I swear you get funnier every season. My only complaint is that each episode should be at least an hour and 15 minutes long. What else am I supposed to be doing on my morning commute? Then you kind of give us a little PS PSS. One of them says, I'm excited to see you guys, see you get your big break, Coda. Kendra and I are both performers, opera, and musical theater singers. So we're back the grind. And he also says, Y'all joked about inviting us on your trip to Universal, but we would happily join you. And that would be a news for worthy story. Just the thought. So with that being said, happy fucking birthday, Kendra. You are a Taurus, a May Taurus, which means you're a phenomenal person. You know how to eat. You know how to appreciate the pleasures of life. I hope that this tourist season is doing wonders for your life. And I'm so grateful that the two of you listen to our podcast. You mean the world to us. And I love how you guys are going through us to get these messages out.

SPEAKER_14 1:13:44

I really feel like Hedwagina in this bitch.

SPEAKER_09 1:13:47

Yes. Absolutely. Yes. Like I said, I was smiling ear to ear when I saw this. So thank you, Noah. Thank you, Kendra. Look, I've been telling Alicia, Alicia, beginning on me about the episodes being too long, but I'm like, the people enjoy the Harry Potter content. They love us going off the rails. They love, and this is it. I know you guys use this for your car wreck and used to work and so on and so forth. So don't worry. We got you. We got you. Yeah. And then also thank you for, you know, understanding the actor struggle. Not well, not struggle, but the actor pursuit and the grind and the time dedication dedication that takes. And I love that you guys are also in that area as well. And yeah, so yeah, no, this is really sweet. Happy anniversary slash happy birthday slash all the things. And if you guys want to be like Kendra and Noah, our faves, go on and send us a letter so we can read it aloud on the podcast and just be geeking and smiling that people are listening and having a good time with us over here. So thank you again.

SPEAKER_04 1:14:45

They've had a lot of like traumatizing sounds tonight because they heard Buckbeek's execution and now they hear Ron's legs snap.

SPEAKER_09 1:14:54

Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Who's gonna go to sleep today? Well, we know one person that can't fix broken bones, if you remember from the last book. You know what I'm talking about?

SPEAKER_02 1:15:08

I should.

SPEAKER_09 1:15:09

You forgot him. Uh Professor Professor Lockhart.

SPEAKER_02 1:15:13

Oh, lie, the lie.

SPEAKER_09 1:15:16

Try to fix it.

SPEAKER_02 1:15:17

Oh, I'm missing it's a good he feels so far away now.

SPEAKER_09 1:15:22

I know, isn't that crazy? A whole uh book of shenanigans with him in the last book. Now he's in the damn mental home. Okay. Because you hate to see it. Okay. Harry wanted nothing more to have his wand back, not to defend himself, but to kill. Harry fearlessly starts to lunge for Sears Black, but he's restrained by Hermione and Ron. Ron jumps in to say to Sears Black that if he wants to kill Harry, he'll have to kill them too. Um, as he tries to like stand on his broken leg before collapsing back to the ground. Valley, we we appreciate the effort, Ron.

SPEAKER_04 1:15:57

You're almost there, honey. Like, I don't really have to do anything. I could just move your shoulder and it's over for you.

SPEAKER_09 1:16:03

It's the thought that counts, honestly. But also, if I was Hermione, I'll be like, wait a minute, what do you mean kill us too? Like, don't include me in that. I don't sound about to die.

SPEAKER_04 1:16:11

Me and my cat are not leaving this planet.

SPEAKER_09 1:16:14

Like, uh but anyway, so Sears Black tells Ron to lie his ass down before he enters his leg even more. And Ron reiterates and says, I said what I said. If you want Harry, you'll have to kill all three of us. Again, if I was Hermione, I was like, three, like dose, like face, like I don't understand what you're talking about right now. Like, speak for yourself, honey. Um, but Sears Black replies that there will only be one murder here tonight. Harry sees his one roll in one direction and goes to get it. Now, here comes Crookshanks cat ass to join the scuffle. Crookshanks, Crookshanks uh sinks his claws into Harry's arm, and Harry says, Fuck this cat, and flings uh Crookshanks off of him, tossing the cat across the room. But Crookshanks, as Kat stars, rebounds and tries to go for Harry's wand, Harry kicks in Crookshanks' direction to get him to back the fuck up. I'm like, where is Hedwigina and all this? Like, Harry, like Hedogina, your owner is getting fucked up by animals and murderous godfathers of like, like, we need you to come and claw someone's eyes out. But it's just crazy. There's a lot going on.

SPEAKER_04 1:17:20

If anything, Hedogina could be here to fight off Crookshank's animal on animal versus while Harry takes care of his black, but now why would Hedwigina lift her head up from her pillow when Harry had no business leaving Hogwarts that night? No one told him to go to Hog to what's his name? Howdy's house? Come on, say Hogwarts' house.

SPEAKER_08 1:17:42

Oh screaming.

SPEAKER_04 1:17:43

And now you're expecting her to be at the beacon call? I mean, they should have like some sort of air tag. She needs to know where he is at all times. Give her a mini version of the map, the Magruder's map. Lou Pin says, Her money, this is not like you, baby. Only one of those three accusations were even true. I am a werewolf, yes, but I've never helped Black, nor do I want Harry dead. Like at all. Ron, who's on the ground, tries to pop back up again, but quickly fell down from pain. Lupin walks up to him to help him, and damn, you really cannot tell everyone your secrets because immediately Ron goes, get away from me, you werewolf.

SPEAKER_09 1:18:33

He was definitely giving like a slur. Like Ron, you just found this out two seconds ago, and you're already using it with such venom, like, my God.

SPEAKER_10 1:18:43

Oh my god.

SPEAKER_04 1:18:44

And then Lupin says, Hermione, how long have you known like that? He's a werewolf. And she says, Ever since Professor Snape assigned us that essay on werewolves. Let's go back. Let's take a flashback to Hermione BUB.

SPEAKER_11 1:19:01

Rewind.

SPEAKER_04 1:19:01

Rewind. How have you been? How's your weekend going?

SPEAKER_09 1:19:09

Yeah, I'm doing well. Uh right now I'm in Rome, Italy.

SPEAKER_06 1:19:13

What? So I Okay, Lizzie McGuire.

unknown 1:19:17

The fuck?

SPEAKER_09 1:19:20

That was uh reaction that I wanted. That's why I didn't say anything. I was trying to hold it, hold out on it.

SPEAKER_14 1:19:25

You've been sneaky for like 10 years. I can't with you. He was always the sneakiest coworker. Like he would come back with these weekend plans. And we're like, when the fuck did you do that?

SPEAKER_09 1:19:38

I am weak. I was I purposely like held out. I was like, I want to get this recording started so I could just get it out there.

SPEAKER_04 1:19:47

That was a live reaction from Elisa.

SPEAKER_00 1:19:51

I don't know what you said, but I can almost kiss the stars for shining so bright. When I see you smiling, I go sing to me, Polo.

SPEAKER_04 1:20:06

Oh my god, amazing. So when did you get in?

SPEAKER_09 1:20:08

Shout out to Lizzie. Yeah, so this is a quick weekend trip. So I got in literally, I left Saturday evening. I got in Sunday morning. So I and then yeah, I was here all Sunday, and then I'm leaving Monday morning. So it's a very quick trip. So I didn't really do too much. It was so last minute. I didn't really have time to plan and like, you know, plan for things to do, places to eat and stuff like that. So I got a quick dinner nearby, and I went to the Roman Coliseum. So that was nice. But I went at night, so it was the inside wasn't open like for tours and stuff like that, just the outside, which is like the free. You can just go walk up and look at it. So I just did that. So just looked at it from the outside. And then I also wanted to go to the Trevi Fountain, I believe that's the name of the Foundation. Yeah. Is that the one Lizzie McGuire put her coin into or something? Oh, okay. Okay, yeah. So, you know, and it's Sunday night. So I got there like so I went from the Roman Call TM straight. I took the bus straight to the Trevi Fountain. And I'm thinking, okay, Sunday night, 11 p.m. It shouldn't be a lot of people, maybe for everyone's inside. Girl, I turned, I could smell the fresh water and I can hear the water fountain. And as soon as I turned the counter or the corner, it's just a fail. I said, Oh my god. Like it was just like so overwhelming. Not overwhelming, like, but it was a lot of people. Like I wasn't expecting that. I'm like, damn, I don't even feel comfortable to like try to take a picture or a software or anything. It's just too much going on. So I was like, yeah. So I just did a quick U-turn and walked my butt right back to my hotel. I said, I'm good on the show.

SPEAKER_14 1:21:34

I would have checked it off the list and kept moving.

SPEAKER_09 1:21:37

Yeah. No, I saw a piece of the marble statue and a little heard the water, but I just yeah, I was like, mm-mm. Maybe in the morning before my flight back to New York, I might try to go. I don't know if 6 a.m. will be any better because the sun's rising at like 5 30. So maybe if I go at 6 a.m. there won't be anyone over there because it's like a 20-minute walk from where I am.

SPEAKER_04 1:21:56

I was gonna say people go 5-6 in the morning so they can do their photo shoot. So it's probably gonna be crowded, but good enough for you to take your own pictures and see it. I went to Rome twice and both times at Travis Fountain was closed. And every time I see videos of it, I'm like, I am so good that I didn't go with all this crowd-I hate crowds, so at least you got to hear it and see it, kinda.

SPEAKER_09 1:22:26

Yeah, yeah. This is like this is an express roam trip while maybe come back in the future for a uh authentic roam trip. But yeah, no, it's nice. So I'm six hours ahead of you right now, so it's 1 15 in the morning for me. I think it's yeah, so it's 7 o'clock for you. So look, look, y'all can't ever say a bitches ain't dedicated. Yeah, I'm like, yeah, so no, but I'm okay. I'm excited to talk about this chapter. And it's kind of cool because we recorded one episode when I was in Amsterdam for my birthday. We almost recorded one in South Korea when I was visiting there, and now you guys are getting an episode from me in Rome. So who knows?

SPEAKER_04 1:23:01

Maybe um He went to three countries in this season with the third book? I did. Or was the Amsterdam trip? Because that was for your birthday. So that must have been.

SPEAKER_09 1:23:11

Amsterdam was last month or last year in October. I think that might have been changed.

SPEAKER_04 1:23:15

Okay, yeah.

SPEAKER_09 1:23:16

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. So two technically, even though I didn't record in South Korea. Um, but and uh, you said you're going to Portugal in June.

SPEAKER_04 1:23:22

Yeah, I'm leaving Juneteenth to Portugal with my best friend as S.

SPEAKER_09 1:23:26

Okay. You're gonna take the mic with you. You're gonna record an episode for us.

SPEAKER_04 1:23:30

I gotta take this bulky computer. I don't know. I hope he I hope he brings his computer and I can just Alicia said boundaries.

SPEAKER_09 1:23:38

I want to be on vacation, shot. Y'all go see me when I come back.

SPEAKER_14 1:23:41

Yeah, that's the difference between Virgo and Pisces, y'all.

SPEAKER_04 1:23:49

I understand Snape better as well because y'all bitches try to kill me. And then I was forbidden to talk about that.

SPEAKER_11 1:23:59

Ooh.

SPEAKER_04 1:24:00

And so now you want to hire them as a teacher. And in my mind, he was a co-signer to my murder. Like planned murder. So, yeah, I don't want to work with him, and yeah, I don't want to make him a fucking potion. I also don't want to rub his fucking feet.

SPEAKER_09 1:24:18

Oh, points are being made. You bring up a great point in why Lupin may feel a kind of way about Lupin overall. Okay, so we'll give we'll give Snape. Well, I won't give him his tens, but I'll give him his six and a halves for 0.05. I'll give him a little something, a little something, because yeah, you may bring up some great points. So you like Snape now? Wow.

SPEAKER_04 1:24:41

I never said that. I'm very scared of him. So I'm not gonna say I don't like him.

SPEAKER_09 1:24:46

But you understand him in a specific instance.

SPEAKER_04 1:24:49

Yeah, in this specific situation, he was not in the wrong. I also understand why he was curious. Like, they're all the same age. Where are you going?

SPEAKER_09 1:24:58

It's almost like Neville. It's like Neville in the first book when the trio's sneaking out to try to save the sorcerer's stone and he tried to stop them and her mindset child move. Like, it's almost something like that. But like obviously it wasn't fatal for Neville. But it's just something like something similar. Like, kids are gonna be kids, they're gonna notice someone. It's like if you're in class in middle school or high school, and you get called, someone comes to call you out of the class, and everyone's like, ooh, what's going on? And then when you come back, everyone's asking what's going on, like what happened, whatever. Like, it's just kids being kids. So I definitely don't think same deserve to die for it. So Sirius giving you a little bit of a side-eye right now, Harry's godfather. But we'll see where, yeah.

SPEAKER_04 1:25:31

Sirius seems like a little unhinged. Obviously, he spent the 12 in the 12. Isn't that what president's called?

SPEAKER_09 1:25:43

So even at one point, Crookshanks being the smart magical cat that he is, Crookshanks stole a list of Gryffindor common room passwords and gave it to Sirius Black. Now I know if Neville Longbottom finds out that Crookshanks is to blame for him losing the passwords, he will get that cat and squeeze it by his neck. Like, you fucking bitch. You have the whole my whole house mad at me, and I lost my password privileges because your ass wants to be snooping through my stuff and taking my shit.

SPEAKER_04 1:26:12

Crookshanks catass once again strikes again.

SPEAKER_10 1:26:17

Oh my god.

SPEAKER_04 1:26:18

And Scabbers was on the run. He said, Vlog. He said, I know when I'm on the most wanted list. I gotta go.

SPEAKER_09 1:26:27

Literally, literally that. Because once Peter Scabbers slash Scabbers caught wind of, like, oh, this cat is like this cat is in cahoots with Sears Black. He's like, oh shit, I need to like, like I said, get out of here. So he thought to fake his death again, and that's how we got the whole blood on Ron's bed, and we thought Scabbers was dead.

SPEAKER_15 1:26:45

The whole thing to fake your own death as a rat is crazy. Like as a human, okay.

SPEAKER_05 1:26:53

You have this 13-year-old boy crying for you. I gotta put me first, I gotta put me first.

SPEAKER_03 1:27:13

Yeah, he's seen him naked. 100% in some capacity.

SPEAKER_09 1:27:18

Okay, thank you. Thank you for making a pledge. So it's just there's just a lot to unpack here. Like, what do you mean?

SPEAKER_04 1:27:25

Like Rico could draw me right now. It just is what it is.

SPEAKER_09 1:27:31

It is what it is. He was guilty of like all the crimes that he was accused of and betraying James and Lily and all that stuff. And Sirius also forgives him. So they're kind of making amends, forgiving each other. And at this as they're doing this, they're both rolling up their sleeves so casually. And they're like, Well, now that we've cleared the air, the truth is out, shall we proceed to the killing?

SPEAKER_01 1:27:57

Shall we do it together? And Lupa.

SPEAKER_04 1:28:00

Everyone have their utensils. Okay.

SPEAKER_01 1:28:01

Everyone wants.

SPEAKER_04 1:28:02

Let's get ready to dine.

SPEAKER_01 1:28:04

Everyone wants.

SPEAKER_09 1:28:04

Out. Roll up your sleeves. Shall we do it together? We shall. Peter's like, you wouldn't. Like, you won't. Like, no. Like, Peter, do you think these people are playing with you? Like, they've waited seriously. We're 12 years for this. Like, this ain't no, like, oh, try me if you want to. This is like you're about to die. So now Peter makes his last attempt and he scrambles over to Ron. And he says, Ron, haven't I been a good friend to you? A good pet? Like, you won't let them kill me. Like, I've been your scabby wabby for the last 12 years.

SPEAKER_07 1:28:29

Ew!

SPEAKER_09 1:28:30

But no, literally, it says that reaction was perfect because it says Ron was staring at Peter with the utmost revulsion. And Ron says, I let you sleep in my bed, bitch.

SPEAKER_06 1:28:43

Yeah. Even yuck.

SPEAKER_09 1:28:47

It's so funny adding the E in front of yuck because it just adds that extra emphasis on how disgusted you are. Like, get the fuck. So again, Peter is just like pleading to Ron. He's like, kind boy, kind master. Like, you won't let them kill me. Like, I was your rat. I was a good pet. Black jumps in to say, if you made a better rat than a human, then it's not much to boast about, bitch. Like, you you are like, that is a good arreat. Like, you are saying how good of a rat you are. But what about your human character? Like, please. So Ron is just like, just Ron is just disgusted. And of course, Peter's like grasping onto his broken leg, trying to save himself. And yeah, it's not looking good. So now Peter turns to Hermione and it's like, sweet girl, clever girl, like you won't let them like kill me, help me. Obviously, because you know he thought he Hermione was on his side for a second. And Hermione's like, please get the fuck away from me. And she just backs away, like looking horrified at Peter's disgusting ass.

SPEAKER_15 1:29:36

She's like, Cook shanks, let's go.

SPEAKER_09 1:29:38

Literally. And finally, Peter turns to Harry and says, and he tries to pull the you look just like your father card. Bitch, don't even try that.

SPEAKER_04 1:29:46

The one you had you killed.

SPEAKER_09 1:29:48

The one that you betrayed, the one that you caused to die. Like, please.

SPEAKER_04 1:29:52

Like, I have even Aunt Marge wouldn't go that low.

SPEAKER_09 1:29:56

And Black is so pissed at the thought of Peter even mentioning Harry's father to him. He's like, How dare you speak to him? How dare you face him? How dare you try to like plead to him and like mention James? Like, get the fuck away from him. And again, Peter's just like pleading, pleading, pleading. And Peter says, Harry, James wouldn't have wanted me killed. James would have understood. Harry, he would have shown me mercy. Now, at this point, both uh Sears Black and Lupin step forward to like get Peter out of Harry's face and throw him back onto the floor, ready to finally kill him. And they're like, You sold Lily and James to Voldemort. Do you deny it? Like, this is your final chance. Like, do you deny it? Like, are you guilty?

SPEAKER_15 1:30:35

Like, Judas, do you deny it? Yes or no?

SPEAKER_09 1:30:38

Are you guilty of the crimes that you're being committed of? And Peter just bursts into tears. It was just horrible to watch this grown man on the floor pleading for his life, crying like a baby. Like, just very embarrassing. And Peter says, Sirius, like, what could I have done? The Dark Lord, you have no idea. Like, he has all these spells and evil dark arts at his disposal. Like, I was scared. I was never brave like you and Remus and James. Like, I never meant for it to happen, but like Valtimore like forced me to. And Sirius li uh Sirius just like yells out, don't fucking lie. Like, you have been passing information to him for years. A year before Lily James died, you were their spy.

SPEAKER_12 1:31:13

Hmm.

SPEAKER_09 1:31:14

Okay, Sirius, if we're saying that you knew, well, maybe this is after the fact that he kind of came to this conclusion that Peter had been passing information to Valtimore. So I was like, if you better not have known that information beforehand. Because that wouldn't have made sense then.

SPEAKER_14 1:31:26

Because then you've been talking about it. No, literally.

SPEAKER_09 1:31:28

Because then that would have been dumb. So maybe after the fact when he had time to think in his time and ask again. But so he's like, Yeah, bitch, stop it. Because you were being a snake ass, uh, sly ass bitch long before the final betrayal. And Peter's like, well, he was taking over everywhere. What was there to gain by like refusing him or trying to like refuse joining him or whatever? And Black Sears is like, what was there to gain by fighting the most evil wizard who has ever existed and kind of like trying to like stop him from like getting more power? Like, you are fucking ridiculous. Like, maybe the goodness of humanity and saving the world, like, you are fucking disgusting. And Peter is like, you wouldn't have understood, he would have killed me. And Sears is like, Well, bitch, you should have died then, motherfucker. If he was gonna kill you, you should have motherfucking died. You should have died rather than betray your friends, and that's what we would have done for yours rat ass. And Black and Lupin have shoulder to shoulder, hand in hand, they have their wands raised. And Lupin says, You should have realized that if Voldemort didn't kill you, we would have, after your betrayal, goodbye, Peter. Goodbye. Hermione covers her face. Because I'm sure this is traumatic as fuck for a 14-year-old about to witness a man's murder. And Harry at the last minute yells, no. And he runs.

SPEAKER_15 1:32:44

They should have ended the chapter right there. Yeah, that that and then picked it up. Come on, Jason.

SPEAKER_09 1:32:50

Yeah, because what do you mean, Harry saying no, like to this? Like, no, like that. That would have been a great cliffhanger. Because like, oh, what do you mean Harry saying no? Yeah.

SPEAKER_15 1:32:56

I would have ripped my page trying to flip that shit.

SPEAKER_09 1:32:59

So here before we go, Alicia, you had a keeping it improv, a spin-off. Yes.

SPEAKER_04 1:33:11

So we're trying something different today. This chapter was like a little heavy, so we're gonna end this episode on something kind of light. If you're having a good time, please rate us five stars. So we're trying to complete our goal of the year of 55-star reviews, and we really appreciate it. You can leave us a review on Spotify or on Apple Podcasts. You can send us an owl post at Harry Sorry I'm late. Podcast at gmail.com. If you have any inquiries for us, we would love to read them on the podcast. But for the game, and y'all can play at home too if you want. We have a little scenario because Ron has really big news to tell his family. So I gave Coda an option to pick a family member to for Ron to talk about this discovery of their pet. This is gonna be a phone call between Ron and Molly Weasley. This is improv, so let's see how we do.

SPEAKER_00 1:34:10

Ring ring ring. Mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, run, run. Mom, you go, mom. What's happening? Slow down. Slow down. Scabus, scabus.

SPEAKER_07 1:34:22

I have so much cooking.

SPEAKER_00 1:34:23

Mom, listen to me, Scarborough. Scarbus. Scabus. Mom, you know how I said that Scabus was dead? It turns out he's not dead. It turns out he's a man. It turns out he's a man, mom. He's a grown fucking man, Mom. He's a grown fucking man. Mom, you're not listening to me. He's a grown fucking man. He's been a Arthur, come here. Arthur. No, just listen, Mom. I'm gonna put you on screen. Okay, dad, mom, listen. Scabbus, scabus, my pet rat scabbus has been a grown man this whole fucking time. I've had a grown man sleeping in my bed with me, mom. He's seen me naked. He's seen me walking my wand, mom. He's seen me, he's seen me, he's seen me thinking about Madame Rosmerta, mom. He's seen me thinking about her mindy, mom. Mom, mom, mom, do you understand what the Hermoni?

SPEAKER_05 1:35:09

Wait, wait.

SPEAKER_00 1:35:09

Mom, mom.

SPEAKER_05 1:35:10

What about her mind? Okay, okay, let me focus. Let me focus. Take a deep breath with me. Where's Percy? I need someone rational to talk to.

SPEAKER_09 1:35:20

Mom, listen, excuse my language, but I just have to be frank, Mom. Mom, do you know how wizards can turn into animals? Animagas. You know that concept.

SPEAKER_05 1:35:30

Like Professor McGonagall and her little catch stick that she likes to do in the city. Mom, Debbie, just fucking listen, stop talking.

SPEAKER_09 1:35:38

Mom, you know how animals can turn into uh humans. I can't even fucking speak, Mom. I'm so at a loss for words. Okay, you know how wizards can turn into animals like animagas, like Professor McGonagall turned into cats? Yes. It's just been, I just found out right in front of me, right in front of my bloody eyes, that Scabbus, the pet that has been in our fucking family for the last 12 years, is actually a man by the name of Peter Pettigrew. And you know who Pizza Pettigrew is because you guys went to school with him.

SPEAKER_07 1:36:06

The man, oh, the Peter, the fucking scummagy ass pizza. He's been in our house. Yes, mom. I thought he was a wheezy. I knitted him as soon as I'm not.

SPEAKER_00 1:36:17

A sweater mama. Fuck your sweater mom. He's not fucking family, he's a grown man, Mom. He is a fucking rat, a rat a tat. So we went to the streaking shot because Quick Shanks, Harmani's fucking evil ass cat, chased scabbards all the way into the womping willow. So we got into Wumping Willow and then Sears Black, yes, Sears Black, I know the escape convict, and I know you sent me the holler in the last in last year.

SPEAKER_07 1:36:39

No, just fucking What were you doing in the middle of the day?

SPEAKER_00 1:36:42

I told you, Quick Shanks chased Scabbers into the Wamping Willow, and I have to go after him. I couldn't lose him again. And no one told you to do that.

SPEAKER_06 1:36:49

David, no, just listen. We we have given you explicit instructions to stay in the fucking house. In the fucking door.

SPEAKER_09 1:36:56

Never mind you guys. You can beat me for that later, but just listen. So we got into the Womping Willow, and Sears Black was there, and then he was trying to explain himself, and then Lupin came, and one thing led to another, and they both cast a spell onto Scabbers, and Scabbers turned into a rat right in front of Scabbers turned into a man right in front of us, Mom.

SPEAKER_00 1:37:11

And uh I I just I I mean the truth will come out. You'll see it in the paper soon, or Dumbledore will call you, or you need to just come into this motherfucking school, Mom. Come up to this motherfucking school, mom. There's a fucking man that was posing as a rat this whole entire time.

SPEAKER_05 1:37:25

Arthur, grab the keys to the car. We gotta go.

SPEAKER_00 1:37:28

The Ford Anglia is in the fucking forbidden forest, mom. You guys need some fucking telephone.

SPEAKER_04 1:37:31

Okay, who told you the F word? Because it was not me and it was not your father. Fuck.

SPEAKER_09 1:37:37

Oh, Mom, okay.

SPEAKER_05 1:37:40

You know I'm about to piss myself. Stop speaking.

SPEAKER_09 1:37:43

Okay, Mom, just get here as soon as you can. Get here as soon as you can. Oh, call fucking Percy. He probably already knows about this from Dome. I just I don't have a pet rat anymore, man.

SPEAKER_00 1:37:52

I don't have a pet rat anymore.

SPEAKER_05 1:37:54

Peter, Peter Pettigrew. Oh my god. He had this crush on me and it just felt so insidious. I told your father he didn't believe me.

SPEAKER_00 1:38:02

Pizza Pettigrew had a crush on you? Don't you don't you know?

SPEAKER_05 1:38:06

We don't have to talk about that right now.

SPEAKER_00 1:38:08

Because if you think about it, Scabbus always loved going into your room, Mom. He was fucking high.

SPEAKER_05 1:38:14

Oh my god, and I he's seen me without my bones.

SPEAKER_00 1:38:17

He's seen you in all your lady parts.

SPEAKER_05 1:38:19

Oh my god, Ginny! We can't tell Ginny. No matter what, we cannot tell Ginny. She's been through too much. And I'm sorry, Ron, you're just gonna have to keep this a secret. Okay, I think the improv is done.

SPEAKER_14 1:38:32

That was so funny. Wow, okay. Good job, good job, good job. That was overwhelming to the nervous system.

SPEAKER_10 1:38:40

That was really fun. Thank you for that. Oh my goodness.

SPEAKER_04 1:38:46

Snape, who could not catch a vibe if you place it in his hands, stay put.

SPEAKER_09 1:38:53

Imagine the headmaster telling you, you need to leave. I need a moment with these students, and you say, I'm gonna stand right the fuck here. Audacity all ten. Oh, and Dumbledore's about to tear onto him. Go ahead. Go ahead.

SPEAKER_04 1:39:07

Snape tells Dumbledore, I know you don't think this man is innocent. Do you not remember his murderous capabilities he showed the world at 16? Did you happen to forget this? I was gonna say that.

SPEAKER_09 1:39:27

Sorry.

SPEAKER_04 1:39:28

Sorry, Joe. Dumbledore looks at Snape like the bottom of his shoe. And he says, Nah, actually, this memory is as good as ever, mama. Don't let the door hit you where the good lord splits you. And Snape and Babiana left. Finally. Alright, now it's on. The kids they know that they have limited time and they're talking miles a minute. Temple Dor, you don't have to understand. Rat, Marcus, all this stuff. He's like, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay. He's like, babes, wrap it up. It's me. I know things, you know. And I also feel very vindicated with my prediction. I gotta say it.

SPEAKER_09 1:40:18

You predicted something along the lines of, is she time traveling or something like that? Yes, I remember.

SPEAKER_04 1:40:23

And I said, Is this like groundhog day where you can like go back and like make edits? And my boyfriend yesterday was like, I was trying so hard not to tell you that you're psychic. And I was like, Ah, is that what they're talking about? Because we were listening to these episodes in the car.

SPEAKER_09 1:40:41

I love that. Has he's uh read or seen all the Harry Potter movies or read all the books?

SPEAKER_04 1:40:45

Everything.

SPEAKER_09 1:40:47

Oh, so he's a big fan.

SPEAKER_01 1:40:50

Oh, okay. I love that. Well, he's gonna have to come out the file, do a little get to us episode chat.

SPEAKER_02 1:40:56

I don't know about that.

SPEAKER_01 1:40:58

But yeah.

SPEAKER_09 1:41:00

I love that. So because he's yeah, he's seeing you go on this journey, and then he's also he's like me, and in terms of having to not spoil anything and just see you experience it for yourself. I love that. Oh, okay.

SPEAKER_04 1:41:11

I want to give you props because more than one person, so him and my cousin that listens, they have both told me multiple times that you do a phenomenal job of answering my questions, like satiating that, but then not like giving things away. And he's like, it's so interesting as a listener that knows the other side. Like, he's like, Coda really does a good job. So good job.

SPEAKER_10 1:41:39

Oh, thank you. Thank you. Yes, I do what I can.

SPEAKER_09 1:41:43

Thank you. But I will say, even for me, like, like I said, much more like locked in when it comes to the movies. This is only my second time reading the books. I read them for the first time during the pandemic. So when it comes to the books, I'm like some things I'm just remembering for the first time as I read them for the podcast or when you bring it up or whatever. So fairly like, you know, I feel like at some moments we are in the same pace in terms in terms of like, you know, the rediscovering things or discovering things. So, but yeah, no, thank you for the uh the the the flowers. Um I'm just exhausted thinking about it. I'm exhausted, and I'm gonna be exhausted talking about it in terms of like what's about to happen. So I'm like, I can only I now I see why she was so frazzled during the whole school year, yeah, trying to keep it all straight. Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 1:42:28

And I have some questions because thank gosh she didn't get it stolen from her. Because last book, the Chamber of Secrets journal was getting passed around like loose assholes. Um, and then Hermione, like this chapter or this book, she was falling asleep all the time. So I could have dug in her pockets and robbed her and been like, what's this?

SPEAKER_01 1:42:57

Right. Oh, this is a cute piece of jewelry, I think.

SPEAKER_08 1:43:01

Right. Diamonds on my neck, diamonds on my neck, yes.

SPEAKER_09 1:43:06

Yeah, so just so many things could have gone wrong when it comes to this this this gift, I guess that McGonal bestowed upon her money, but then also the stress that it put onto her money. So you mean to tell me when her money was in transfiguration class with Professor McGonagall, and she saw how frazzled and tired her money was, probably sleeping in class, getting answers wrong. She didn't say, damn, maybe this wasn't the best idea. Let me get this time turner back. She's just like, Nope, I gave it to her, she's gonna be yours for the rest of this year. Like, uh okay. Yeah, all right. And then her money also not even feeling the need or name, like, hey, this was too much on my plate. Let me get back to McGonagall and just do what I can. Like, you know what I mean? Like, something like that. Like, you know, Hermione, like, she's uh once she sets her mind on something, so she's like, no, I'm gonna get through this year with this time turning that McGonagall gave me no matter what. So shout out to her, I guess, but definitely questionable. And lastly, I'll say that's probably why she was so ready to give up divination. Because she's like, bitch, I've taken 30 million fucking classes. The last thing I need is this woo-woo astrological um uh crazy lady. Get on me and talk about something. I don't have no damn third eye. Fuck you, and you're a third eye. I got shit to do. I'm out of this bitch. So now, Hermione in this moment says, You see that, you see you're about to go try to interfere, and you would have been seen by Haggard, you stubborn bitch. Just because you are the main character doesn't mean you don't have to listen and you get to do whatever you want all the damn time. I know this story is named after you, but goddamn, I'm trying to save your riggedy-ass godfather so you can have a loving home, or would you rather take your ass back to Priver Drive to live with the motherfucking Dirseys, you glasses wearing, lightning scar habits, make talking ass, always in some trouble ass, bitch. I'm tired of your motherfucking ass.

SPEAKER_08 1:44:53

I asked for them never became friends with you in the motherfucking first place. You dumb bitch.

SPEAKER_05 1:44:59

What copy do you have? What edition is that?

SPEAKER_01 1:45:05

Okay, okay, okay, okay. She said to say that. She didn't say all that. All she said was C. But the point still remains, okay? The point still motherfucker remains that that was what was on her Virgo spirit to say.

SPEAKER_09 1:45:20

But as a Virgo, we have to keep it cool, calm, collected. So from one Virgo to another, I, I, I, that, I, I, I was just translating. I was letting the spirit move through me in terms of what she's saying. Okay. It was uh, you know, you know how like different places have the little torchy gift shops based off of where you're at or whatever. I'm in Vegas right now. And I stopped into one of them because I was like thinking of one of the people that I'm seeing right now. I was like, oh, what if I got them like a little trinket? Slow it down. I just let them know that I was thinking of them. No, literally, that was me. I walked out of that store so fast, I was like, control it, control it, control it. Who the fuck are you right now? What do you mean you're trying to bring back a souvenir? Like I said, absolutely not. I did not like this. I did not like these feelings. I did not like the like who am I becoming? I control it. I put that chain back so fast, I was like, absolutely not. It needs to be at least another six months to a year before you're buying anyone any fucking gifts.

SPEAKER_04 1:46:15

The thing is, you're such a considerate person, and you you know that that gift, whatever it was, would probably like make them happy, right? So like it's a beautiful thing and shouldn't have to like carve that out of you. But don't present the gift. If you buy it, don't present it until it's like truly earned. Is that a fair like compromise?

SPEAKER_09 1:46:39

Yeah, because it's literally only been like two weeks.

SPEAKER_04 1:46:42

Yeah, you're getting a little lesbian over here. Oh my god, speaking of lesbians, but he doesn't owe you any homework. He's already taking your exam.

SPEAKER_09 1:46:57

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 1:46:57

School's out for summer, goodbye.

SPEAKER_09 1:47:00

And yeah, like literally crashing out from all the way the in the hallway, back into the hospital, waiting to yell at a poor kid. Like they said at one point that Snape was like he was so mad that he was like, spit was coming out of the side of his mouth. Like he was like truly crashing out, like like a what like rabid, rabid with anger towards Harriet. Like, you're doing a lot. It's ridiculous.

SPEAKER_04 1:47:21

Like, who's really the werewolf? Since you all hate them so much.

SPEAKER_12 1:47:25

Right.

SPEAKER_04 1:47:26

So he's like, Harry, what did you do? More gaslighting occurs with Snape, and Dumbledore even says, There's no way he got out. Like these kids could be in two places at once. Dumbledore, subplay.

SPEAKER_09 1:47:40

Like him just being cheapy, like knowing damn about what he was up to. Like, canal with that man. He said, I locked the door. They're been in here this whole time. Like, what are you what are you talking about?

SPEAKER_04 1:47:48

What are you speaking of, D.Va? I'm not cheating on you. But I love how the kids like didn't laugh at that because my ass would have been cracking up. I would have my head and like not the headmaster being in cahoots with that.

SPEAKER_10 1:48:01

We love that for him.

unknown 1:48:02

Oh my god.

SPEAKER_04 1:48:03

So Dumbador was like, Well, Madame Pomfri, did you see them leave? And she's like, Absolutely not. And I need you guys to stop like messing with my job role because I I've had it.

SPEAKER_09 1:48:15

Um, sorry. Speaking of Madame Pomfrey, let I just, if you guys aren't following us over on Harry Sarum Late on Instagram, you just gotta go over there. I posted a day in a life vlog of us recording the last episode as I talked about in the last episode. And Alicia posted this five-minute rant slash discussion of like five characters that we discussed in the last chapter. It was so good. Like I didn't even know you were gonna do it. So when I just clicked on your story or clicked on the Instagram of clicked on our Instagram story and I saw it, I was like laughing so hard on the train. And you even mentioned me as the number five. I said, No, why am I in it? But it was just so funny and it was so good. So if you're not following us up on Instagram, make sure you go over and follow us. And who knows, you might get more on camera videos and promotion from us if you want to see what we look like and all of our hijinks, go over and follow us over on Harry Sarmoin Instagram.

SPEAKER_04 1:49:01

Thanks for shouting that out, and I loved your day in the life. It was so good. That inspired me to just pick up the camera.

SPEAKER_09 1:49:08

Um so Uncle Vernon's just being nasty as his usual self, and Harry cheekily answers that it's a letter from his godfather. Vernon is like, bitch, you don't have one. And Harry's like, actually, I do. He was my mom and dad's best friend, and he's a convicted murderer. But he's broken out of wizard prison and he's on the run, but he still likes to stay in touch and make sure I'm happy. Hence this letter right here. Oh, godness. A look of horror comes over Uncle Vernon's face as Harry grabs his belongings and Hedobina's cage and strolls along towards the exit with a smile, looking forward to what felt like a very great summer. And with that, we conclude Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Askaban, chapter 22, I'll post again, and the overall book, Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Askaban. What a great finish. That, I mean, what a way to end the book. I just love Harry being able to stick it to Vernon one more time, you know. So, like by using his godfather's series and just Harry coming to his own with a little bit of sass, a little bit of snarl. Like, I love that so much. It's it's things are looking good. Things are looking good. I'm glad that we ended the chapter that way.

SPEAKER_04 1:50:21

Really wish that Dudley was like in the kitchen so he could listen to that conversation because he would have shit his pants.

SPEAKER_09 1:50:27

Yes, yes, yes. He said, try me if you want to, but my godson, my godfather is a convicted of murder who ain't afraid of killing if you try me. So deal with that information what you will.

SPEAKER_04 1:50:38

I'm proud of us for getting through this book. We are much more than just the Harry Potter podcast. We are the Harry Potter podcast.

SPEAKER_01 1:50:53

We're getting there. We're getting there.