Sexy Business Podcast

How Men Discover Spirituality | From Success to Self-Discovery

• Eisve and Karolina

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0:00 | 35:09

Why are more men turning toward spirituality—and what does that journey actually look like?

In this episode of the Sexy Business Podcast, we sit down with Manuel and Felipe to explore how men discover spirituality, navigate personal growth, and redefine success beyond achievement. They share their own experiences with anxiety, control, meditation, journaling, stoicism, psychedelics, and the lessons that helped them become more present in their lives and relationships.

We also discuss the differences between how men and women approach spirituality, the role of vulnerability, and practical advice for anyone who wants to begin their own journey of self-discovery.

Whether you’re just starting to explore spirituality or are already walking the path, this conversation offers honest insights, powerful reflections, and practical tools for living with greater awareness.

Timestamps:
00:00 - 01:13 | Introduction: Why Men Discover Spirituality
01:13 - 05:31 | From “Struggle Porn” to Stoicism & Psychedelics
05:31 - 07:34 | Presence, Meditation & Everyday Spirituality
07:34 - 10:56 | Felipe’s Spiritual Journey & Growing Up with Spiritism
10:56 - 14:04 | Are More Women Than Men Spiritual?
14:04 - 17:34 | Daily Spiritual Practices: Journaling, Yoga & Meditation
17:34 - 22:38 | Healing Control, Trauma & Emotional Awareness
22:38 - 29:58 | Letting Go, Relationships & Where to Begin
29:58 - 34:18 | Community, Vulnerability & Final Advice for Men

If you enjoyed this episode, don’t forget to like, subscribe, and share it with someone who might benefit from the conversation.

SPEAKER_02

Welcome back, or welcome to Sexy Business Podcast. I'm your host, Aceve, and I'm Carolina.

SPEAKER_03

So, uh, today's theme we will have uh these amazing guests here with us, Manuel and Felipe, and we're gonna talk about how men discover the spirituality.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah, and I think it's uh a theme that is very interesting for many women, and they have been asking us a lot. How did you meet men who are in spirituality? So that's the question for you guys. How both of you discovered the spirituality, and why, in the first place, you got interested in that. Who wanna start?

SPEAKER_00

Please, thank you.

SPEAKER_01

For me, I think uh was a lot of mental suffering and struggling with this men need to do, you know, and I need to do to be, instead of just being. And this doing, doing, building companies, building my body, building, doing, doing, doing, and I think it's exhausted as men. And I was living in this, like uh, I call it struggle porn, you know, because they sell us that you need to struggle so you can be successful, or you can be a man, or you can have a partner or a company.

SPEAKER_02

Did you say the struggle porn?

SPEAKER_01

Struggle porn, yeah, yeah, yeah. And I start first working with my body, then reading a lot. For me, stoicism was like a first door for knowing that there was a different way of living, you know, of maintaining myself in my center no matter what. And I, in the right setting, I try as psychodelic. Um, for me, it was mind-blowing, and I understand that there's a different way of living, of working, uh, and that life is a game, you know, and the game is inside, and was so beautiful. And for me, that was the first like little tool, and then I start uh meditating a lot. I have amazing teachers that have guided me in the path, and I think now spirituality is everything, you know, it's having this conversation, it's having a delicious lunch. Uh and I think in a nutshell that's how I arrive here.

SPEAKER_02

And if we dig a little bit into that next nutshell, you said you started with stoicism.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02

Do you remember like why? Like what nudge you to look outside of that, how you called struggle porn? Yeah. Is there like a specific tipping point?

SPEAKER_01

Or yeah, yeah. Like for me, we have like this body feel, let's say, then you have the mind, you know, and then we have like the spirit, the soul. And first I tried to biohack myself, you know, it was like, oh, I'm not feeling that okay building my company, you know. I have anxiety, I have a lot of stress. Uh maybe if I work hard, work out super hard, I can be okay. And I think it wasn't only that. It's important, it helps, but I still feel myself like incomplete. And then I start reading. I I love to read. And I think when you read a book, then uh something calls you to read another book, and that's how I arrived to Marcos Aurelius' meditations, and it's so beautiful because he was the emperor of Roman Empire, when Roman Empire was the most powerful of the world, and he was so chill, you know. It was like I was like, I'm worrying about my little problems, and this dude was ruling the world, and he's like in his center, and he's living life, you know, he's enjoying every moment, he doesn't take anything personal. So for me, it was like, wow, maybe there's another way. But I think uh if I just maintain myself in the mind, like in reading books, and I don't experience it, like uh something was a little bit missing. And then I really when I try a psychodelic, for me, psychedelics are tools, it's like 100 years of therapy in one night, because it faces you with your fears, with what you truly are. And in that moment I realized I was I was only scared, and I we are only love, and that life is a delicious dance to play and and do whatever we want.

SPEAKER_02

So you started from like biohacking, looking into the body, and through that you discovered different spiritual practices.

SPEAKER_01

It's like I think it's like body, then mind. I think it's like a broader approach, you know. You can start by hacking, it's good, but then you start using the mind. It's we can call it a little bit more expanded, and then I feel God in in every cell of my body, and I think there's like no going back, you know, like so beautiful, and everything starts changing, and I start integrating that in every day of my life, you know. How can I uh live uh that in every second? And at the end, I think you don't try to be spiritual, you are present, you know? And that was for me like I can be present going to the bathroom or washing some dishes or working in my startup or being with you, and like it's a beautiful path, and I know beautiful people that have lived and build beautiful businesses and have amazing relationships, and it's all about being present and uh continue facing our fears, sitting on them, and that was a little bit of my path. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02

Wow. How is that for you, Filipe?

SPEAKER_00

Yeah, I think uh there's two ways to people go to spirituality. It's most common is a trauma, is a pain, is something that you are totally uncomfortable, and you have to search for something else, to like escape from this hole you are now. And I think that people most of the time is initiate like this. And for me, I think it's another way is to being an explorer. People who will never stop to to search, to learn something, curious about life, you know, and that was my way. Uh since since I was young, I always been so curious to learn things, to investigate how the things work, you know, and that was my my way. And of course, I have an instructure for my family. Uh we have spiritual is a big religion in Brazil. And my grandm, my granddad, my mom uh always teach the these things about reincarnation, or so I grow up and kind of this circumstance circumstance of spirituality.

SPEAKER_02

So, what is spiritism? It's like uh spiritism, yeah.

SPEAKER_00

Came from yeah, I think it came from French. Alan Kardec was French, and he like created this religion. It's about uh mediums, you know, people who receive messages from outside. I think this happened uh since the beginning of humanity, but we did it didn't have a name for this. And it's very common in spiritualism, a lot of mediums. And yeah, that's it. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02

So for you it was so natural that you haven't even like thought about it, that it's like, oh, it's like spirituality is something that like you discover, like it was always kind of like in your life, from what I'm hearing.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah, I think spirituality is basically self-knowledge. It's no more about yourself. Because as more you search outside, more you find yourself. Because I think for me, life is about experience. As more experience than you have reflects, reflects your inside. You know, different kinds of situation you live in your life change how you react or how you feel. And your feeling is like a map. Why I feel stressed about this situation, what the situation is teaching to me. So I think spiritual is like this is look around and find yourself. And I have written the alchemist uh uh the Marcos Aurelius, sorry, Mark Aurelia as well. And but for me, the alchemist, Paulo Coelho, is a Brazilian, and it's like a journey. You want to reach something. Oh the guy uh had a dream about a treasure, and he goes all the world to find this, and then he discovered during the journey, the journey is the happiness. It's your you know, who build you, not the destination. So it's the same for life, you know. It's not I will be happy when I get there. No, it's the moment. What best I can live experience at this moment now.

SPEAKER_03

Totally. Wow. Um it's interesting because at the moment, well, it looks like it that you know it's way more woman spirituality than men. Um you mentioned something that you know you met more mentors and stuff. So how is it more difficult to find uh like-minded men?

SPEAKER_00

No, but at least I might have view no. In Brazil there's a lot of spiritual men.

SPEAKER_03

Oh, there is yeah.

SPEAKER_00

I think in the past, not much. I don't know. Yeah, but I think it is a way of the men and woman express, also, you know, because men usually don't talk about these things, you know, even if they feel or not. Today it's more common, the society is bringing it to us. So it's you more often you see other people say, but I think it's more a woman thing since the the construction of your humanity, you know?

SPEAKER_01

Yes, I I think similar, like nowadays. I think in my circles, it's really the same finding woman or man spiritual, but I believe women have a superpower in the emotional world. Uh you have a womb, you know, you you represent uh the nature of of life, you know, to give birth. So I think women are way more connected, you know, uh, and it's a more open society to women to express their feelings. Like at the end, I think like the feminine and masculine doesn't matter if you are a man or you are a woman. You you are you are both. Um and maybe because the society, but that's also just uh rules and games that uh it's not real. So yeah.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah, we're getting there. Yeah, we're getting there. Even with this conversation, like we're already like speaking to an audience and whoever wants to listen. And they said, like, like we had other uh guests in the podcast before where like they were saying, like, oh, we couldn't have spoken about this like 50 years ago, and I was like, like, couldn't we? You know, like everything is so changing and opening. So my question would be as well, like now when you're already so much and for quite a while in the spirituality path, what are your tools, practices? I don't know, just daily being, how you are connected to it? Like what is out there, that how you feel like you're connected to spirituality, or like as you said, like to yourself or to the present moment.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah, I think for me is one tool that I use a lot is write. Write without filter everything that I feel there that is in my head, I just write, you know, and I feel like after that I feel more calm. And when you're calm, everything is you know, don't disturb yourself easily, you know. You see the chaos around and you can don't connect with that. So yeah, that's uh a way I use to keep myself you know in control.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, uh for me I follow the yogic path. Uh when I say yoga, yoga means union with the divine, it's not physical, you know, it has a physical part, and I have uh amazing teachers. Uh I start following and Michael Singer is one of them, Mark Ketchell, and I meditate. Uh, and it's for me it's a moment of total presence, uh meditation, and I think it's about keeping the meditation state the 24 hours of the day. This means like meditation is just a tool. Like how you measure your meditation is how you live, you know? It's not how you chill are in the moment, it's it's not the objective, it's just like it's a little space when you remember who you are, and then you can bring that joy and that um stillness in everything that you do. So that's how I practice or my sadna, we can call it.

SPEAKER_03

Okay, and um so you've been both for a while in spirituality. I understand, yeah? It's not something it's not it's more than a couple of years or shorter.

SPEAKER_00

I think it's a it's a long journey. It starts since you were born, I think. Before, but let's skip this.

SPEAKER_02

No, no, we can go there as well.

SPEAKER_00

You know, I think it's a construction. Ever everything is spiritual. So yeah. So I think since everyone born and is becoming conscious of yourself, you know, totally. So yeah.

SPEAKER_03

And in terms of like struggles and traumas, is there anything particular that came up when you start working on yourself, on you know, getting to know yourself, that something really came up that um you didn't think it was some kind we call it trauma or I don't know, some kind of um fear or something, you know?

SPEAKER_02

Yeah, because I think with spirituality we we look into ourselves so deeply, and yeah, we are, as you said, we are very spiritual beings before we come to Earth, but probably that's why we come to Earth to alchemize something, some experiences. So, yeah, was there something that this path made you look into internally, like be, oh yeah, I did not expect that, or I haven't seen this before, and I'm I'm open, I see it, I'm aware.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, like uh I agree with Felipe, like spirituality is everything, you know, like uh there is no separation in reality. Um in my experience, I I consider my experience like Batman, you know, like I have a dark side in the past. Uh at the end it was perfect, and my soul chooses it like with a granularity that I can even think about it. Um I have a controller mind, you know. I really um I was programmed, I was conditioned when I was a kid that I need to control the environment so I can be happy, you know. And if the environment or things don't happen as my mind wants to happen, so I'm not okay. And when they happen as I planned, oh, it's super good, you know, and I feel uh super happy. Uh in reality, I'm just excited. So this is like your destiny for having a controlling mind and just living in terror and euphoria. I think it's miserable at the end. Uh that's how a lot of founders live, and and I know them. And you can build multi-billion dollar business with this struggling. Um and I really experienced this other path. Um, in my case, this controlling mind, uh I think in the right set and setting and with the right environment. Psychodalics are beautiful medicine because they allow you to see, you know, to get out of the mind and to observe yourself, to understand that you are not the mind and you are not the body, and you are not the emotions. It's only part of of this beautiful and lighting consciousness that that we are. So I think for me, yes, it was like maybe two, three years ago when I started seeing things really, really different, and it was perfect. Uh like my soul choose this path for a reason.

SPEAKER_03

Of course. Wow, so the controlling part was the biggest one for you.

SPEAKER_01

Definitely. And I know that it's still on me, you know. Like I used to fight with it, you know, and I call it spiritual ego because it's like, oh, I'm controlling, oh, why are you controlling? You know, you cannot control. So I fight with myself. It's ego talking to ego, so it's more ego, you know. And it's like, oh no, now I'm out now I'm spiritual. I cannot be angry. No, like oh, that's a very good idea.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_01

It's like, bro, like it's part of the dance of reality. Being angry a bit sad, being experiencing a grief, um, being super happy. So uh yeah, I think the I can see with more clarity. Sometimes I just get into the angry and I see it after, but it's way more natural, like joy call it, it's like writing on water, you know. Like if you write on water, you can see the letters, but then it disappear. Yes. So it's similar how I think uh emotions can come and evolve and you let them pass.

SPEAKER_02

So would you say, because like you said, like you would see where you try to control the environment, but also what I'm hearing now that you used to control what you are supposed to feel.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02

And I think it's a very big, very big thing for men of like, oh, I need to be this way.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Because the mind, it's really the mind wants to solve problems, you know. And so it wants to solve problems in everything. And it wants to optimize and be efficient. And we live in a capitalism world where in the system you are rewarded when you do more. So I want to control the outcome of my company. I want to control the outcome of my relationship. I want to have a balanced life. I want to. So you want to control everything. And sometimes it works. And that's when it's like a mechanism of oh, this is working. This is the way. Like this controlling mind has bring us where we are right now. And it's true.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01

Let's be grateful with that part. But there's another way, you know. Uh so yeah, I think that was that's a beautiful share.

SPEAKER_02

I'm very curious in the next episode to dig into like how this played in your like you know, relationships and like being with a woman because they're very emotional and all of that. But like, let's keep that now in your own realm and in your own experience. It's beautiful. And very curious about Philippe too.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah. Yeah. I think uh as more we know about yourself, ourselves, more you observe the things on your relationship and say, oh, this is for for the person or is mine. You know, why this situation is causing something for me.

SPEAKER_03

Let's uh let's say what was your biggest trauma you noticed through the spirituality. He said for him was like a controlling and stuff.

SPEAKER_00

I have I think everyone has a bit of this control. Yeah. You observe that the kids' behavior, they want control. I want that if you don't get if you don't give what a kid wants, get upset, angry, shout. Everyone was born with a kind of try and control. And as more you learn about yourself, you see that I can control and I don't need to. I just need to do my best, what I can do, and let the thing flow. You know, like uh I think life is like a a river, and you cannot go against the river. You can do your part to don't draw.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_00

But you don't determinate the way. You have you have to go flowing, you know. That's my way to see the life.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah. So was it for you a little bit more of like letting go and like going with that flow?

SPEAKER_00

Yeah, I think it's necessary to plan to act, but you don't have the control of the results all the time.

SPEAKER_02

And do you have like a specific example where you like notice that in yourself?

SPEAKER_00

Yeah, I have, for example, in relationship, you don't change the way the other person feels. But you observe yours and see if you react or not with that, you know? Yeah. Yeah, that's that's uh example I can remind remind now. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03

Okay. Okay, um we have a few more minutes. Uh so maybe if you can give to our listeners like um just a few points where they could start. Let's say the person has never been in spirituality, especially like men. Where can they start? You both mentioned that you both started with the like books, as I understand. This was kind of helping you to get there. What would you recommend? Where to start?

SPEAKER_00

Yeah, I think this book that I mentioned before, The Alchemist, was uh a big starter, you know. Uh the the way the book is totally a metaphor about life. You know, this is a a good beginning. Even the writer said this is not the end. It's the beginning of the search, you know? And keep searching, keep investigating, you know, keep curious and keep moving. That's the thing to continue there.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, it's a really good question. Um first I will say if you are already curious about it, you have already started, you know. Uh because it's also paradoxically, because wanting to start and wanting to do more, like it's the opposite of being, and I have fallen in that trap many times. So yeah, like books can be a tool, an opener, it's like a door. So Marcus Aurelio's meditation can be a good recommendation, autobiography of a yogi of Yogananda, beautiful Trans Surfing or David Hawking's. Uh, there are beautiful books you can read, you can get inspired. And personally, for really controller minds like mine, in the right set and setting environment with the right people. I think psychedelics are beautiful medicines that our ancestors have used for millenniums and allow you to see yourself in another point of view and feel a connection and a love that it's overwhelming, and that is who you truly are. And I think only people that have experienced this kind of connection with psychedelics or with a relationship, or I don't know, by being a mother, like it's something you're gonna describe at words, and once you feel that love, like everything starts to open. So that can be a good tool, you know, but at the end, there are only tools to play. Uh but your path is gonna uh guide you, guide you, yeah.

SPEAKER_02

And something that you mentioned about like, oh, uh like doing psychedelics with the communities. I'm interested like a layer deeper because like you both uh shared like a journey for yourself. But how do you think men either can open this conversation in the main men's circle, or rather they should like seek for communities who are already there and like you know, join like what like yeah, it's like an open question. What do you think? It's like is it like if they're open in their circle, that's where they're gonna like expand, or should they like find already like spiritual communities of men or men and women and like go there and like I think um both, and it's like about being vulnerable as a man.

SPEAKER_01

I think that's like a beautiful starting point, you know, with your friends or with another group, but hey bro, I'm feeling like shit, you know, I'm so exhausting, or I'm having anxiety, or I have experienced panic attacks. What can what have worked for you? Uh I think those conversations are beautiful because then everything can start to open, and it's way more common that we think, you know, like uh most of men are living in in that state, and I have been there, you know. Uh so I think that can be a really good starting point with your own circles, or and don't be worrying about looking for the right circle or finding a guru, you know, like it will come in the moment that it needs to come to your life. So just start being more vulnerable, uh, allow your emotions to be filled, and that will be my thoughts on that.

SPEAKER_00

For me, I think for men, work a bit different for women. Women are is more for community to look on your side, help each other. I think women are more like this, more uh uh like the the mother side, you know. And for men, I think it's more build alone. You know, like you suffer most most of the things men don't don't share. Even with a friend. Some things, some people of course, but in general, the man has this like character is to solve by themselves.

SPEAKER_02

So that's how it was for you because you say that.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_02

What is your personal experience?

SPEAKER_00

Yeah, yeah. For me, it's my uh you know, the the world is hard for for for men, but men are built like this. So I think as more you suffer and look for yourself and keep going, the more you develop that. You know, of course, if you need some help, therapist or something, you have to look. But in general, men suffer a lot in the in the mind, a lot of pressure, but they find a way for themselves. You know, that's why I believe.

SPEAKER_03

And let's say, would you be comfortable in your friend circle to open up about spirituality?

SPEAKER_00

Uh yeah, I have some friends who, you know, when you go talking, keep chatting with them, you see some things that are similar to you. And this is, you know, as more explore, you see that everyone has the same of battle.

SPEAKER_02

Meaning, meaning I. Like when you say you, you mean you, like I go in? Because I'm curious about like your personal experience. You know what I'm asking?

SPEAKER_00

Uh yeah. When I say you, it's me. You know, the word is a mirror.

SPEAKER_02

Like I'm very curious to hear your own story.

SPEAKER_00

Uh-huh. Yeah. No, no, it's my story. Yeah, yeah. I I I share the word of my point of view, you know? Yeah. But I think, yeah, uh it's more built alone, you know. Uh, for example, I think in a group, let's say you go to a group and talk. I don't think that really changes you. The real change is alone. When you are alone, you are alone on your head, and you experience it the life by yourself. You know? I think it's it's important you look for a group or a book, but as more information you bring to you, more you transform, you know.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah, of course. It's it's always the inner, yeah, the inner work. Okay, so thank you so much for your insight, guys. It was really uh interesting to hear because it is very different from what we women experience. Um, so it's good to hear um your point of views and how you started uh your spiritual journey and where you're going continuously. And yeah, I don't know. Do you want to add anything?

SPEAKER_02

I think in the next episode, we would like to dwell more into like how the spirituality in men and their personal work plays into actually building the relationships that we have. Yeah, that would be interesting. Thanks a lot.

SPEAKER_03

Thank you so much.

SPEAKER_02

Uh and see you next in the next episode. Yes.