Sexy Business Podcast
Welcome to Power, Pleasure & the Hustle – the bold, unfiltered podcast where business meets sensuality and ambition gets unapologetically feminine.
Hosted by two powerhouse women living wildly different lives – one, a devoted mum who seemingly had it all but felt lost in the routine, and the other, a high-flying businesswoman who walked away from her golden cage to follow a soul-stirring spiritual path. Together, they explore the question: Can we really have it all – success, love, family, freedom, and pleasure?
Each episode dives deep into the untapped power of sexual energy as a source of vitality, creativity, money flow, and magnetic success. From taboo-breaking truths to raw stories of burnout, awakening, and reinvention, nothing is off-limits.
If you're ready to redefine success, reclaim your power, and feel sexy doing it – this podcast is your permission slip.
Because being turned on by life is the new hustle. 🔥💋
Sexy Business Podcast
Why You Keep Repeating the Same Relationship Patterns
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How do you build a relationship where both partners continue to grow? ❤️
In this episode of the Sexy Business Podcast, we dive deeper into conscious relationships, communication, trust, receiving love, masculine & feminine energy, and the inner work that helps relationships thrive.
Timestamps:
00:00–01:15 Welcome & today’s topic
01:15–07:08 Parenting, receiving love & relationship roles
07:08–12:33 Control, trust & learning to receive
12:33–20:37 Motherhood, feminine energy & surrender
20:37–28:48 Trust, healing & relationship mirrors
28:48–39:32 Holding space instead of fixing your partner
39:32–46:43 Communication, masculinity & letting go
46:43–53:24 Final lessons & key takeaways
💛 If you enjoyed this episode, like, subscribe, and share your biggest takeaway in the comments!
Welcome back or welcome to Sexy Business Podcast. I'm your host, Acefer.
SPEAKER_07And I'm Carolina. And today we have again our partners for this podcast because we felt like we wanted to dig deeper into what is having a relationship and you know working through your things together, evolving together, what practices we use with each other to have a better communication. So it's like a continuation probably for the previous episode. Who haven't watched, please um have a look at our YouTube channel.
SPEAKER_04Yeah, but we want to go like deeper into how we do separately the inner work and how that reflects in relationships. In the relationship, exactly exactly. Yeah.
SPEAKER_06So that's what it's all about today.
SPEAKER_07Yeah. So we just want to dig deeper and to see where we can um evolve ourselves and grow more with each other. And I think for us, um the big thing that have a lot of impact is um that uh we both have kids. So to get a new really to when you get into the new relationship um and you already have um kind of a structure in your life, in your kind of family life, is to find the time. Because I think when you meet someone new, you really want to spend more time together, you want to explore each other and stuff, but you still have very big responsibilities. And I think for me, I feel like that it's sometimes really hard to jump out from like being a mom and you know, being just me, Carolina, in in the relationship, you know, and I think I bring a lot of um, I think I bring a lot of anxiety and a lot of control because I still don't know how to separate myself from, okay, I'm a mom, I need to make sure there is breakfast, you know, that the kids are like even today, yeah, the kids are in the in the background there also, you know. So I have to structure a lot of things, what time I need to wake up and stuff, and sometimes I'm so much in that mood that when we have time to spend together, just us, I do try to control and to kind of, you know, uh not to let him lead. Because uh in the relationship, you know, we try, um because of the masculine and feminine energy, you know, the feminine energy should be more like you know, follow the lead. And because I'm still in my mom's mood, it's hard for me to jump in to just you know let him lead and just you know be there.
SPEAKER_00And there the conflicts start, you know, because I don't think I can be lead, you know? And until we start running right, take a time. So this is our challenge.
SPEAKER_07Yeah, this is a big challenge for us, I think. So yeah, it's uh it really affects and many fights, fights, let's say, arguments. We don't call it fights because we don't think we fight, but uh like a conflict or argument starts with that because it takes time, like he said, and sometimes half an hour, sometimes more, until I come down, until I kind of breathe out and jump from one to another, and then I feel like we can enjoy more time. But it it is a struggle that we're working a lot, it's like a shadow side that how to separate and how to focus on just us.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, it's important to identify the challenge we have and try to build beside this, you know, to look at the dark side and make things work. All relationship has some challenge. And for us, this is the biggest.
SPEAKER_07Yeah, yeah, because it's just like a fresh start for us, but we already have to have more space for other things than just us. Obviously, you know, of course, there is work, there is other commitments, there is things we it's me time, his time, but also, you know, this would be kind of a um a difficult time. And um also because I've been now for a few years by myself, and I'm very much too like he really is good in trying to take care of me, and I don't allow him. It's just like accepting to receive. That's that's another challenge I'm going through. It's very hard for me to receive the things he wants to give me because I'm so used to like I'm doing everything by myself all the time, and I think because in the previous relationship, I was I was in a relationship, but I was alone. Most of the time I felt alone, you know, so everything I had to organize myself, and I can't let go of this. Also, it's like he wants to take my bag, or you know, this and that. And for me, it's like I don't know why, it makes me feel uncomfortable. It's something in me that makes me like I don't want him to do it. No, no, I will do it. Oh no, this isn't it like I it causes this um it's a bit strange. I'm pushing him away, let's say. I'm pushing you away by, you know, like, no, no, I'll do it. And he wants to do a lot of things for me. Um, for example, let's say small details. We wake up in the morning, uh, and I would go just like on the regular basis when we before going to work and stuff. I wake up the first thing in the morning, I'm the first one to wake up because I know I have to do more things and stuff, but he he wakes up also with me, you know, instead of he could sleep longer, but he wakes up with me and he helps me. He helps to prepare the food for like the kids to go to school. He always prepares my lunchbox. You could see on the table he's piling, this is for your snack, this is for this, this is all that, you know. So I'm not asking him to do that, but he integrates very well into my life to help me with those things, you know. And um I know maybe for other people sounds normal, but for me it's not because I'm not used to it, you know, because I did not have that. He would be at work and he was like, Oh, do you want me to go shopping before I come back home? So you don't need to go after work to buy things and stuff. So he's trying to take a lot of things from me that um without asking. And for me, it's just so hard to take it in. You know, it's like very hard to receive. So I I struggle with that for sure. I don't know, how about you guys?
SPEAKER_04So, what has been both of you like the biggest growth in this? Because you have been reflecting so much for you, I guess, like letting go and receiving, and maybe there's I don't know, something else. And like, what has been for you like that she's reflecting to you that like you both have opened the eyes to something new?
SPEAKER_00Uh for me it is more about don't have control about what she feels, you know? It's like uh of course uh I would like to be like this, but I have to accept some things that is not like the way I want. And learn to to love and to learn uh what what it shows about myself, the situation, you know, like the control. I think that the most of learning is about control to me, you know.
SPEAKER_03Like in which sense about control?
SPEAKER_00Like not having that control or yeah, about for example, the the example Carolina gave. Um I want to take her things to to help to make the life easier for her, and she doesn't accept. And I said, Oh my gosh, why not? You know, like okay, but with time you see, oh, it's her moment. You know, I know she's on the mother mood, and then she comes back to feminine again. You know, it's like I don't need pressure. I think pressure is uh is still worse than help, you know? So yeah, about control.
SPEAKER_07Yeah, definitely. I see, because in the beginning you would try more to kind of no, no, no, give me to do that. Where now, if I'm like, no, no, he waits and then he asks again. And he's actually very good into, especially when I get like anxious about the things and I and I'm like, da-da-da-da-da. He's like always like, What can I help you? This is something I'm not used to, also, because a lot of times in my life, even from my childhood, was when I don't know, maybe it's my family and stuff, when people see and they want to help you, they start doing things for you because not what you want, let's say, you know. They start doing things for you. Oh, maybe I'll I'll do this for you, but maybe that's not what I want, you know? And he actually asks, he does not do the things that uh would even upset me more or something like that, you know. He asks, Do you want me to do something? What can I help you with? What can I help you with? And this is really like I I feel in my head, it's like I'm not used to these questions, but I'm like, okay, okay, so he wants to help me, he wants to help me. I don't need to do it on my own, you know, because sometimes I'm like this, this, this. And I feel it's calming me down. It's slowly, slowly. We're kind of sinking into each other with this, you know, back and forward, back and forward, and every the system the situation calms down a little bit, you know.
unknownYeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_00So that's now imagine if I bring problems for my work or for outside your home.
SPEAKER_06She can have.
SPEAKER_00I know, yeah. So it's a perfect balance.
SPEAKER_05Yeah.
SPEAKER_01What do you think, Garolina, like will happen if you lower your guard, you know? Like if you stop being this mom mode in everything. And I thank you for sharing. And I think I think something happening to most of women, no, all of the women that I know in my life.
SPEAKER_05Really?
SPEAKER_01They have this like following these expectations of women are doing everything, you know? Yeah. To sustain everything, children, work, partner, sport, what whatever. Um, what do you what makes you feel like lowering your regard?
SPEAKER_06Oh my gosh. I was scared. Even that question was so scared about me.
SPEAKER_04Can I also add because when you said, like, oh, maybe they will like give me or do something for me that I don't even want, I used to have this idea before as well. And then I was like, oh, like universe usually brings me way better things than I have ever imagined. And the more I try to hold on to my reality that quote unquote I want, I'm holding myself only to the limits that I and my identity signed up for. So I'm like, even like with him or with like I realize receivership comes from everything. And if I'm trying to control receivership, I'm not with my hands open. I'm with like my hands like this and seeing what can slip through the little fingers that like allow for those little gaps. So for me, it was very big opening, like, oh, if I'm open to the universe to receive, and like the universe has way bigger or God has way bigger plan for me than I can imagine right now, then it means that's the receivership, not controlling, and like it becomes better than I have ever imagined.
SPEAKER_07Totally. Yes, no, um, but it's hard, but no, I think uh for moms, I think before you become a mom, you have also some controls because we have this maternal instinct in all of us women. You know, it's a feminine energy. But I think once you become a mom, in the beginning, especially in the first year of the child's life, you know, you know that that baby will not survive without you. So you're like, you become the center that you know you are the one who has because you feed that baby, you hold that baby all the time, you carry that baby, and it's like only you. And I think because it happens in the beginning that you are the most important person for that baby, you're kind of so attached that you don't know how to let go. And then you carry this into not only for children, for the partner also. You become like a mom, and I think that's also can destroy the relationship. And now loyaling that guard and surrendering and trusting that universe. I think it's like um because you give yourself so much and you so worry that maybe if you let go, something will happen straight away. I think it's maybe not trusting enough, I don't trust enough in God, in universe, that you know, without me, somebody will take care of this, you know, it will take care of itself, or it somebody will take care of the of this. And that's why I cannot like lower the guards, no let go of this control. And and I hear what you're saying. I think a lot of women have this, you know. And um, there is proven that in the first five years since you have a baby, um, 90% of relationships falls apart in those first five years, and it's like proven scientifically. And I think it's because of that, because the woman cannot jump out of this motherhood. She's not her anymore. Like, I I think I told you before also that uh I said I lost myself in my relationship because I became a mom. I'm I don't feel like Carolina anymore. Like, and now I'm trying to find again myself to be Carolina, but not a mom in the house, you know. So yeah, it's very scary. I don't know.
SPEAKER_01No, thanks for sharing. I'm learning a lot. Um you talk about this being this maternity, you know? But what pops into you like maternity? You talk about control, but you think like this feminine it's about controlling, or it's maybe more about flowing and just sharing your energy that sustains your kids, your friends, your community with your energy? Because I I hear a little bit how you relate, like and I haven't I will never be a mom, like what a what a bless, you know. Um mothers are controlling a lot, you know. But do you think that it's like being a mom being in the feminine, or maybe like it's more flowing into uh into what you feel and uh what do you think?
SPEAKER_07I don't being controlling, I don't think it's a real feminine. I think feminine more should be like surrendering.
SPEAKER_01Yeah.
SPEAKER_07And when I feel more, for example, if I feel more rested, uh less problems around me, I feel like I can be even a better mom, to be honest with you, because then I'm more relaxed and then I do more from what I feel rather than what the structure is. You know, I think this is more the controlling part comes more, maybe I don't know if it's a masculine energy, but it becomes more like more stressful, more anxious part. Where feminine, I think it is more with the flow and with the letting go, and you know, just like you said, share the energy because we feel it like if I woke up not feeling well, everyone is more cranky, you know, everyone in the family, everyone in the family unit, whatever it is, is it two people, three people, five people in the family unit. If the woman wakes up a bit not well and the energy is low, kind of everyone gets very much affected. Uh, and if you as a woman, you because we share more. I think the feminine energy is expanding more, and we share more with everyone around us. So, yeah, I think that would be a better way, and that's what I would like to be more into in that energy, more flow and more relaxed one.
SPEAKER_01I think that's your natural energy, you know? And as you said, like it's true that if you are more relaxed, uh your kids feel it, everybody feels it.
SPEAKER_07Everyone feels it, yeah. Yeah. But I think it's also because of the society, you know, like there is so much pressures of the on the woman in general. Doesn't matter you have kids or not, there's way more pressures. I mean, there is a lot of pressure on men too, but I think the woman, there is a lot of pressure, and then when she becomes a mom, there is even more pressure, you know? Yeah, and that's where I think that control grows over time because you're trying to fit in into certain things.
SPEAKER_01I I I empathize with that, you know. I also have a controller mind. I think if I was a woman, I would be crazy, you know. Uh but how do you think like uh I think control is at least in my experience, is like there is a lot of fear behind it, you know, fear of thinking that if I lower my guard, like I maybe will not be enough or God cannot sustain me, you know, like I will be defeated. Uh what what does your fear of controlling like a mother is is saying you what do you think this fear is fueling? Because I think Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_07It's a failure. I think what you just said, it's a failure. Uh the control, if you lose control and you're gonna fail. I don't know why. Because I think it comes maybe from the childhoods or something, the way we are raised and stuff, you know. I think some parents they raise their kids more in freedom, some in more structure. I think I was raised more in structure. So for me, if it's no structure, it means broken, you know, it's it's impossible then.
SPEAKER_00I think also the situation of you have to take care of yourself for so long. And if I don't do that, who will, you know?
SPEAKER_07Yes, yes, also, yeah, yeah. Yeah, totally, yeah. And it's led to to let someone else in, it takes much much more time, yeah. How about you?
SPEAKER_04And I think you have a lot of like responsibility carrying because when you said like, oh, there's a lot of pressure for women, I can agree and I disagree because I I have never lived in that realm. We like you know, we talked in the previous episodes where I can hear the stories, I can see that even when people say, like, yeah, and the work environment is different for women and then. But I feel we only like I only would feel that if I place that pressure on me. And even you saying, like, oh, if I wake up in a bad mood, everybody is a bit lower. I can hear, I'm responsible for how they feel. Oh my gosh, this there's so much weight. And um we we put that weight on us, you know.
SPEAKER_06Um totally. So this is my shadow. I I know I choose to, yeah.
SPEAKER_04Yeah, yeah, of course. You chose it for like a reason to alchemize it and maybe like to share to help others because like trust, trust has been a very big thing for me as well. Like in our situation where I thought that like I'm trusting very much. But one of the situations in our relationship have shaken that, and I was like, Oh, but it means I cannot trust you when in reality I realized that I don't trust like that things will unfold very nicely, like if I I'm not holding the circumstances.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, it's like this fear of that love will not sustain itself. You know, we have to talk about it like uh I also see you know this demon. I think we all have it in different uh dimension of if I stop doing, you know, if start if I stop moving or taking care of me or my people, like something terrible will happen and like it's like not trusting that God and the love will always sustain itself, you know. So it's it's really interesting.
SPEAKER_07Yeah. And how is it easier for you to receive in the relationship also? Because I can hear that he's he also likes to take care of the things, you know, he likes. So lead and stuff. Yeah. How is it for you?
SPEAKER_04I mean, I get into my what he calls mom mode, for example, when we had some time with my family, and I was like, okay, I would rather take care and arrange everything because I know, for example, Barcelona, it was my sister's wedding. So you know it was like choo choo choo choo choo choo choo choo choo because I then it's easier, and then I know that you know things will be arranged, quote unquote.
SPEAKER_06Yeah.
SPEAKER_04And I will need to like, you know, try to flow with the mess. I don't know yet how that will be with the kids, but in the receiving part, I think I was pretty, pretty good. And then at some point Mando dropped the bomb where I had to actually face that shadow or that unintegrated part of me where um we were traveling in uh in Italy, and I was sharing like my shadow parts of like, oh yeah, how it was in my previous relationships and so on. And then I asked him what he learned, and he opened up that, like, oh, you know, actually when we met, I was still like with uh seeing another person or something like that, and it was new information for me. In the beginning, I was like, oh yeah, okay, like you weren't like in relationship, you know, so it wasn't, but the next morning I woke up and I was like, oh, I got like all of the sensation and emotions. Oh shit, so I cheated on somebody without even knowing. And where we have arrived from that, because we started looking, I was like, okay, if Manu is not here, what am I showing to myself? Because I said, I cannot trust you fully, you know, and I was like, I'm saying to the God, to the universe, I cannot trust you. And and I'm like basically, I'm opening the gates, but then I'm closing, you know, because it's so fucking scary. And I now like now I see it's not about the actions, it's not about the situation, it's not about the environment, it's what I am feeling that it's reflecting that I have not yet integrated. And I was like, because when you arrived to Barcelona, I had like this like super trusting mode, and it like goes like waves. I'm like, okay, I'm so so trusting, I'm so surrendering. And then I'm like, holy shit, but if I'm like this, maybe things go wrong, you know? Like, so like because we have like, yeah, like being relaxed and like receiving sometimes feels such an unnatural state, but and you can tell me, I think I'm becoming better and better at this, even when Manu is like, I'll get you this, and my instinct, like, no, I don't need that shit, you know. And I'm like, okay, receivership, like take it, you know, because like as you said, I know what I want, and if it's not, and I'm like, I'm closing and like cutting everything that could come into my life, not like even through him, but like from the universe and God, because I think with my small human brain, I know what I want, and I do, but if we look into ourselves two years ago where we were, like now we know that we want way more, and that's still expanding. Yeah, so that's kind of the journey where like, yes, I'm trusting, but obviously there are some like contraction parts where like, oh, wait a minute, it's still a little bit scary, and that's where like the mirroring starts. So for me, that was trusting, and where we have arrived, that I did not trust that love will sustain itself without me doing or being something.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, that's that's powerful, like related to this, you know, how I experienced it was um I was also feeling fear of for me it has been hard like seeing the people that I love suffering, you know, but it's fear of losing them, so instead of facing that and seeing the other person as complete, I am like, oh, I don't want them to suffer, so I want to suffer for them, you know. But it's it's it's fear fluently, and it's my mind saying, like, the other person is not complete. So the moment I do that, I'm just saying I'm not complete and I cannot sustain this feeling, it's gonna be too much for me. Uh so I think when I see that, especially with the woman of my life, you know.
SPEAKER_04Yeah, like we have gone deep into like very, very deep story for you.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, yeah, like you, my sisters, my mom, you know, are really good friends. Uh I have this. I used to think I have this idea that it's ego of like savior, you know. I don't want you to suffer, and I want to suffer for you, you know. But but in reality, when I think we do that, I'm saying to you, you're not complete.
SPEAKER_07You're not strong enough.
SPEAKER_01You are not strong enough, you are not love, you're an incomplete human being.
SPEAKER_07Yeah, totally.
SPEAKER_01So I'm taking all your power away.
SPEAKER_00In the end, the people suffer what they need, and you suffer. So it's double.
SPEAKER_05Exactly.
SPEAKER_00Is come back for the thing about control. You know, you want to control all the situations, you don't let it go. So I think the biggest learn, even in relationship or by yourself, is go into yourself and say, I don't have control, and severity well, you know, like oh, I believe in God. No, I am God, you know, that's true.
SPEAKER_01That's true.
SPEAKER_00I trust in myself, so no matter the relationship, don't work. Okay. Oh, the okay, it's their problem, you know, it's about let go. You know, that's the biggest learn for me.
SPEAKER_01I completely agree. And the moment I'm saying, like, I don't want you to suffer, in reality, I'm saying to myself, I don't want to suffer because I'm not God, and the universe will not sustain me. So you feel frustration, you feel you feel desperate because it's not our essence, you know. And for me, it was experiencing that, like, okay, the moment I say I don't want you to suffer, I'm saying I don't want to suffer, and I'm recognizing that neither of us are complete. So that was a big change for for me. And when I center again and take my power and was like, wow, like you are God, I am God, we are everything. This is just the flow of reality and it's beautiful. Uh like all the intention change, you know. Then like action becomes like, yes, I can help you with this or or not, but but it I think that's sustaining the space, you know, that's helping others because you are with this energy, uh, and you can say it to someone like sometimes I used to say to you, How can I help you? You know, how can I help you? But I was in the incomplete uh yeah, what do you want to say?
SPEAKER_04Are you willing to share the uh story where we arrived, where you understood that like what women are going through, sometimes there's no way to take out the pain, even if you could and want to.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, yeah. I think that was a beautiful thing such a IOP. I used to think that being a masculine man was only related to doing more, you know, like the masculine action. So and I extrapolate doing more, is doing more business, doing more for my woman, doing more for my community. And I thought that it was doing like I will take your pain away and I will feel it, you know. Doing, doing, doing.
SPEAKER_04The woman sometimes goes through the pain that you cannot take.
SPEAKER_01Exactly. And that was that was beautiful. That's why sometimes uh we talk about no when a couple lose a baby, they split because uh the man feels guilt, you know, and he can fix it, he can fix it, and you think the mind thinks that you can fix it with action, you know. Okay, I won't buy some flowers and I will uh travel and we can make this plan, but it's only trying to put like uh like a medicine, like a pill in something that in reality is trying to fix something internal with external things, you know? And that's not how reality works. So the moment I see my mind in this hyper-active mode of I wanna fix it, I wanna fix it, I wanna fix it, it has nothing to do with that. It was only about getting back into my center, feeling that I am one, I'm whole, she's whole, we are God, you know? And then action was really, really, really easy, you know, like it just comes. Uh and it's like that's being. I think that's the masculine, like it's sustaining, is I see you as complete no matter what, because I know you are that, and and I'm also that, and for me that was transformational, like being masculine is not action, it's being, and then you can act, you know, with total certainty, instead of it's not that I act, so then I'm a man, it's I'm a man because I'm a complete whole being, and then I act, and then I can buy flowers, and then we can go to a trip. So that was really transformational.
SPEAKER_04It was and it was and it was because like we were both projecting the pain for a past relationship because we were not having we're not losing the baby in our relationship, yeah. But you were feeling the guilt from the past because you were like, if I was a man, I should have done more. And we have arrived to like, oh, you didn't know just how to hold the space because you were like, but how do I hold the space if there's nothing? And I'm like, You you just be. Yeah, like, oh, I'm like, it's how you meditate. It was very beautiful, and for me, it was my my betrayal wound, and I think that's what happens. Like, this is these conflicts that we have on like surface level, they usually go into like, okay, I have betrayal wound, it has guilt wound, and we both are doing this to each other. Yeah, and if I'm not able to look beyond the situation and understand I'm the one who's with the dagger in my heart, but it's really hard in that situation. Like, I will be blaming him, he will be blaming me. But because we both decided to open and go internally and see where it's coming from, we managed to like alchemize it and don't port. I I think we're not gonna portray that again in ourselves. We're gonna find something else, obviously, because we're humans.
SPEAKER_07Yeah, wow, that's so beautiful. Yeah, that you went into. And I think that's the that's where it shows for all of us that you know, if you work on yourself, you don't have to be spiritual, you just you know, work on yourself, then you can help others also to go through that pain. Because like you said, you felt you had like a dagger, he had another one, and if you wouldn't keep space for each other to go into, you know, you would never found the root of why.
SPEAKER_04You know, it would be just a surface level that oh, you didn't know you, you know, would you allow just I think that's why, like, you know, having those deep connections, like our connection, this connection, like it helps because in some situations, like I would be too scared and it would be too much for me to go alone. But because like you're there with me, I'm able to like as you said, like go into that dark side together. Yes, and it's like feels oh, okay, you know, as you I think you mentioned in previous talk that like, oh, another person is loving something where like I I as you said at some point I was like, I feel like I'm fucking losing my mind, and this man will be just like walk away. And there was that pattern at the beginning, but then he centered himself, and I was like, okay, I cannot, it means I cannot escape this.
SPEAKER_01It was like, I think we were in the car, you know.
SPEAKER_04Yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_01Um relating to this conversation, and Isabel told me, like, you know, I feel you miles away 1,000 miles away, you know. And my instant reaction with the mind was like, whoa, like uh, like you know, the ego seeing a lot of oh, so why do you does you you are with me, you know, and and I think I answer, like, you know, we we but that's that's losing my my my center, you know. Yeah, I I said to you, you know, okay, if you don't want to be with me, this is our last dance, you know, because I was angry, you know.
SPEAKER_02Uh and we were like going to like the spiritual event and so on, and like we're in this like holy mess, yeah.
SPEAKER_01And I was like, oh, like uh and I remember I okay, so how can I help you, you know? But my intention wasn't clear, so you feel it. You were like, it's when woman said, like, I in a relationship, but I feel alone, you know? Yeah, and the man is like, but I'm here, you know, everything like mine wanna blow because it has nothing to do with the physical action, exactly. It's uh and the moment I feel that, I was like, Yeah, how can I help you? you know, but I didn't mean it, and you feel it. Yeah, then I I think a couple of days pass, I go and meditate, you know.
SPEAKER_04Yeah, and it talks about transparency, like what you mean and what you say, and was like that it somehow like yeah, arrived at it.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, I was like, like it doesn't matter how um angry you are or how you express it. Like, I know that there is only love when you are like a muffin that I want to squeeze, and because I know you are that, you know, that's your essence.
SPEAKER_04You are women are the most beautiful thing in this reality, and and that helped me alchemize my pain because he just like then when we were driving out, because like I was in that mode for like three days, and then we were just like driving, and he just like walked me through like just going and being with my pain, but he was like together in that process.
SPEAKER_01And I think was like the moment I feel it like okay, I feel this connection with myself, I see her as complete. My mind stopped trying to do how can I help? How can I help? You know, I just know what to do, you know. It was being with you, yeah, yeah. Just to be, just to hug her, having a conversation, and doesn't matter what.
SPEAKER_04Yeah, and then if action comes from that alignment, it's a completely different action. Like we feel it.
SPEAKER_01And it's effortless, it's an effortless action. You know, and doesn't matter the action, can be exactly staying in the car and just eating burger in the way or having a trip, but it doesn't matter the action because you are yeah, you really feel it you're there.
SPEAKER_04Yeah, yeah, we talked about this a lot, where like men are like, I'm doing everything for you, but it's not clicking like, so what am I doing wrong? And we don't even know how to explain this because I I'm like he's meditating, he knows how to hold this space, and usually he does, but when we irritate each other, obviously, like recentering and being spacious becomes harder. So that was like, yeah, a big discovery for him. And for me was also like, yeah, okay, it's not you who making me feel all of this and this and all these emotions, but yeah, just I feel like I can be a notion having like a safe harbor. I can be whatever, you know. And I'm like, yeah, I feel like if I need to, I can be like, okay, I'm dropping you everything, I need one hour off, and he'll handle it. You know, I I trust he will handle whatever that is. And I think that's the big trust part. Because I also heard, like, now when we have been traveling with my family and so on, they're like, oh, he's so chill. Maybe he's like, you know, not taking responsibility. And I'm like, I'm not trying to control how he's taking responsibility, I'm not trying to portray how he needs to be a man. So he has a freedom to be how he is, and I have the freedom like to ease into it. Because I think before I would be like, oh, this is how I imagine the masculinity, yes. That's fake. Yeah.
SPEAKER_07That's true. It's it's breaking a lot of um I I always say to him that I feel like he came into my life to heal the parts of me, a lot of parts of me that I didn't think they are broken. And like you said now, that I had a portrait of certain things. We all do have like certain portraits, you know, how it should be. And um, he is healing a lot of those things for me, you know. Um, like from the very beginning, I would say, uh-huh. You want to go?
SPEAKER_04But I have a question when you say because I think like I have imagined masculinity for a long time differently, and now I call it fake masculinity. Like I see a man and I can be like, he's like in his fake energy. It's uh external but not that internal groundedness. Because like I think both of them, they're very like soft, caring, but to me that's like I like I want to melt into it, you know. So that was my question. Like, have you maybe that was the portray that you have of how like a masculinity looks and a man?
SPEAKER_07Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because like I always uh because the way the person looks and holds himself, you not always see what's inside, you know. And for me, he when I saw him, like when we first met and stuff, he he looks very like strong and masculine and stuff, but actually inside he's very soft, he's very caring for me. Uh he cares about for me, what's crazy, you know, like he cares about the tiniest details that I care about, you know, and he noticed those things. And I had the portrait, like you said, that oh, the man, you know, they care about abstract big things. It's a woman thing, all the little details and stuff. But even if it's not important for him, because he knows it's important for me, he would care about the little things. He sees what I like, you know, or what I don't like, and he would not forget about it, you know, he would not do something that would, you know, he would like buy me my favorite dessert. Once I told him I like something, and you know, he would go and look for it and find it. Like little, little, small things that uh even from the very beginning, uh, we're going on the trips and stuff, he would organize everything. All I had to do is to come to the airport. That was my biggest challenge.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, I think you know, I I spend my time alone, I do my travel alone, I center myself, you know, alone. So when you go deep by yourself, and then you can create a deep connection, yeah, you know, and now uh for example, I can lead, you know, uh the things I would be alone, but I can share, you know. When you are full, you can share. Otherwise, you just require from others. Oh mom feeling bad, you're responsible for that, give me that. No, you know, it's the opposite. You build yourself first, and then you build it around you, you know.
SPEAKER_07Totally, and I feel it, you know. He would organize those things, and you know, and it feels so good actually. It feels less pressure, I feel more relaxed, and I feel more just me, just Carolina, you know, just just me, you know. Uh and even those things can don't have to be big, but you know, like you organize the day, where are we gonna do things, or what can we see in the new city when we travel, you know. I don't need to, instead of thinking, you know, like how are the kids at home? Did they have this? You know, he takes that pressure out of me because he he knows already. The places where we might go to eat, or you know, it's not everything structured, there is always the options, but like some things that oh my gosh, I don't need to do it alone, you know, like it's it's such a difference. And he's right. I think because since his last relationship, he had a little gap for himself just to be on his own, and I had it here with you, like in Barcelona. I think that's what's helping us to create definitely a deeper connection because we are more centered with ourselves, and even those conflicts, like let's say our argument that not argument that we have, it's so much easier. There is less um, I don't know, I feel at least more willing to solve it here and now, you know. Okay, I have my time sometimes, you have to close a little bit. Where before I would stay angry for longer, let's say in my previous relationship, if I get upset something, you know, I don't, I didn't feel that another person wants to fix it, and then I don't feel like I want it, and it would take longer time. Where now I feel we get faster over it, you know, like there is things, put it cards open on the table, we go through it and we let go, you know, and then another thing comes, do it and let go. And it doesn't build somewhere in the back of the mind, you know, because we women, I think, or me at least, I feel like uh I would hold the things for longer. You know, whatever happened before, I would hold things for longer. Where now I feel like I let go more and I forget. Whatever happened, that's it. I don't bring back what happened before. Because I managed to deal with the situation in that moment, yeah, and now that's it. Like you said, now in your situation.
SPEAKER_04Yeah, you ultimize it and that's it. It's gone. Like if forever. I think like, yeah, that's like going to the root. You go to the root, it's solved. Otherwise, it's kind of like like we're all dragging the past, you know, if we remember things and like, oh, you did this or that. But I think that's not meeting the person every day who they are, because we're changing. Like I sometimes have and know some of my friends come in there, oh, you said this, and I'm like, yeah, but that's past version, like I don't even remember it, like it's gone. So if like somebody would like in relationship, would be like, Oh, you you know, this is who you were two year weeks ago, it's not me anymore. Yeah, exactly.
SPEAKER_07Because we evolve all the time, yeah, we change all the time, yeah.
SPEAKER_00And about us, it's not a relationship, it's about life, you know. You bring the lessons from your life, you know, but not carry enough more, the pen. Yeah, I learned from the pen. Something happened, gone. I learned the lesson and flow light.
SPEAKER_06Yeah, don't keep it all.
SPEAKER_00Even yeah, so relationship is the same. You go develop, you know.
SPEAKER_04Yeah, just to keep it lighter. Totally. So, what would be the key points that you have discovered and we can share with the audience? What do you think would be like the takeaways?
SPEAKER_07The key points? Yeah. I think for me, number one would be get to it, you know, sit with each other through what is hurting you. Get to the root of it, don't leave it, because the longer you leave something unresolved, you know, the more your ego, you're gonna create more around it. Maybe the the conflict wasn't that big. The issue is not that big once you sit down and you sort it out. But if you leave it for days, you will accumulate more things from the past, you're gonna start relating more things to it. You know, you're gonna make that thing bigger than it actually was. So at least for me, that really helps that we go through it.
SPEAKER_00For me, uh it's like use the relationship as a way of growing. You know, you observe okay, uh specific situation cause uh income uncomfort on me. So what that is showing, what I look at at me and not her, you know, because uh it's a mirror. All the situation outside reflects inside, and you observe yourself, and then oh, I have this on me. I have to heal this. It's not about her, you know. That's the biggest lesson. It once you start that, you see you notice that everything in your life is like this, you know. What makes you uncomfortable is show about yourself, and that's a map to work on it, you know?
SPEAKER_07Yeah, totally agree. We're growing a lot in it. Growing a lot. Yeah, what about you guys? What would be your key point?
SPEAKER_04If if relationship wouldn't grow like together and separately, like it's like natural things, they die if they don't grow. What has been your biggest takeaway, Model?
SPEAKER_01My biggest takeaway. Well, like I think feeling it and changing all my beliefs of what sustaining the space with my woman is, and in in every other aspect in my life, you know, when I transcend something with my woman, I transcend it in my business and with everything because we are one in everything. So yes, I used to have this idea of masculinity is only action, and uh that's the way, you know, uh mission-driven and action and action, but action without intention, it's nothing. And for me that was huge, you know. It's like you just need to be, you know, it's to to maintain this stillness, and knowing that it doesn't matter what happened in the result in this physical plane, love will always sustain itself. So knowing that for me is like taking a backpack of weight, you know, it's like it doesn't matter what happened in physically in my relationship, in my business, with my friends, love is something like will always sustain itself. And I trust that. So it's like freedom, you know. Yeah, and that's why it doesn't matter if it's like in a grumpy mood, you know, and and I know she's only love. I know she's only light, I know whatever happened, love will always sustain itself. So I can be I can listen to her. I respect that she feels like I'm not a savior of anything, and I think that was transformational for me, you know. Being a man is just being, and then action is a forless, you know, it just comes with so um easy. So I think for me that was really really powerful.
SPEAKER_04You reminded me of the quote that I heard yesterday in my participant. I have in the mastermind, it was very random because it was like about faith and Jesus, but I really like this quote that says replace loss with love, and I think that's what we are doing. Like when I think like, oh, it should be this way, and I'm like, I choose to love that, it's like and you tell me a lot, like you help me see, and it's the same on my end, like you help me see um the things that otherwise I wouldn't show myself by myself, but also I trust you and your vision that you're not like taking this um to show me from your like how to say uh ego-driven way and be like, oh hey, I think I think you need to change how you dress, you know. It's not about that, it's like actually like a good intention, like, oh, maybe there's something that you haven't seen. Like, how would you look into the situation if there are no others? Like, and all of that. So, yeah, helping see things and trusting the vision, it's like replacing loss with love.
SPEAKER_01Like, I love this talking about quotes, like all the love that you feel you have lost it, was your mind trying to be right, you know. So if you feel for a moment that you are not loving one part of you, it's because it's your rational mind trying to be right, you know. So I think that's like a beautiful process of letting go. Like I don't want to be right anymore, you know. I just want to be, and I think that's beautiful and powerful.
SPEAKER_04Wow, amazing. Thank you, Manno. Thank you, Felipe. It was a pleasure having you. Thank you to our listeners and viewers. Please like, subscribe, leave your comments and questions below, and we will see you in the next episode.
SPEAKER_06Thank you.