EP 13 — The Six Stages of Moving Abroad

Transcript

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Hello there. It's Maria and welcome back to Almost Local. If you are new here, A warm welcome, almost local is for anyone navigating life abroad. It is a space to share stories, find support, love, and grow beyond your comfort zone. Today's episode is a little personal. I want to talk about something we all experience. Whether it's moving across the world or just stepping into a new chapter of life, that spacing between, between living one home and creating another. Over the years, I've noticed a rhythm that seems to repeat itself with every move. It's not linear, it's messy, emotional, and sometimes even funny. I call it the six stages of moving. And maybe just, maybe you'll recognize yourself in one of them too. The first stage, the decision, honestly, it's not always a single moment. It can take months of going back and forth. The endless, should we, can we, what if we regret it? We learn how crucial these decisions are because they shape so much your kids' future, your work, your identity. It feels huge. But the truth is there is no way to predict what will happen next. Sometimes you just have to take that first step, jump go for it, even when you don't feel ready. Every move we've made started with that leap of faith. And the moment you decide, the countdown begins and soon after comes the hardest part, the goodbyes. That's stage number two. Goodbyes. Goodbyes are always tough, and the funny thing is we all deal with them differently. For me, I try to avoid them. My birthday was just a month before our departure, so instead of organizing a farewell party, I threw up birthday one. It was my way of saying goodbye without saying goodbye. It sounds a bit crazy, but it was a relief. I knew that if I had a real farewell, I wouldn't handle it very well because goodbyes aren't just about living a place. They're about the fear that you might not see those people again. You try to stay strong, but there's always that ache. The small goodbyes at the cafe, at school, in your own kitchen. Those are the ones that stay with you. And then just when you think you've cried all your tears, you land and the chaos begins. So that's stage number three. The chaos. Stage three feels like walking with a stone in your shoe. That's how I like to describe this stage. You can't quite get comfortable. Everything feels new, frustrating, unfamiliar. The simplest things, getting internet, buying groceries, understanding the recycling rules all require so much effort. You tell yourself it's fine, but that little stone keeps reminding you that your far from home, it's uncomfortable, sometimes painful. And yet this is the stage where resilience grows quietly in the background without you even noticing, and one day without realizing it, the stone disappears. You've adjusted. Then we have stage number four, the adjustment. This stage feels like. That first sunny day after weeks of rain. That's how I like to describe it. You can't quite believe it. You almost don't want to trust it because deep down you fear there's still one more form to fill. One more document missing, but the sun is shining. You found your rhythm, your coffee spot, your first new friend. The hard part starts to fade, replaced by small victories, navigating the city without Google Maps, chatting with a neighbor, feeling a little lighter. Then one day it happens. Belonging. Belonging is stage number five. That's when you understand your new home. The good and the bad, you find your people. For me, it was the day I called someone here and said, want to meet for coffee? And we sat for hours sharing our stories. That simple moment felt like such a blessing. Belonging doesn't arrive with fireworks. Of course, it sneaks in through the everyday, through routines, friendships, and laughter. And now that I'm back in New Zealand, all these stages seem to blur together. Just today I got invited to three different Halloween parties. What are the odds? And yet, yesterday someone reminded me that I still need to register with the local gp. So there I go again. Paperwork. Just when I think I'm almost local again, the universe keeps me humble. Which brings me to the last stage number six. The in-between. It's the quiet realization that you may never feel a hundred percent from one place again, and that's okay. The in-between is about learning to live with multiple homes in your heart. It's about knowing you might move again, but still choosing to root where you are today. For me, this stage feels softer now. Like I'm learning to hold all those versions of myself with a little more grace. So which stage are you in right now? Maybe you are making a decision, maybe you packing boxes. Or finding your people in a new country. Wherever you are, I'd love to hear your story because your story matters. Send me a message on Instagram, almost local or through our website, almost local.com, and remember, you can belong in more than one place at once. Thanks for listening, my friends. Until next Friday, keep embracing the InBetween and remember. Home is where we grow and connect One coffee at a time.