EP 19 — Navigating Holiday Guilt: Embracing Life Between Two Worlds

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welcome back to Almost Local, the space for the brave ones, navigating life abroad. One ritual, one story, and one messy middle moment at a time. If you listen to last week's episode. You know, we opened a conversation about the holidays, the guilt. The expectations. The nostalgia and the quiet pressure so many of us feel as migrants, experts, or global souls. And this week something clicked for me. I've been reading Mel Robbins book, the LED. Them let me book where she beautifully explains the Let Them mindset, which I really love and recommend, and it felt like a lightning bolt of clarity of, for those of us living between two worlds, it's simple, it's powerful, and honestly so relevant to life abroad. Today we are going to connect. That mindset from the book, let them, let me to the emotional tag of war that arrives every December for the holidays. So grab your coffee, take a deep breath, and let's meet as always in the messy middle. I'm Maria, your host. Welcome to Almost Local. So let's begin with something universal. Holiday guilt. It arrives softly. Almost disguised guilt for not flying home. Guilt for choosing rest instead of airports. Guilt for not giving your kids those classic family holidays. Guilt for creating your own traditions that don't match what you grew up with. Even when travel is expensive, chaotic, or impossible, even when everyone back home has their own plans. Even when you know it's not right for your family this year, the guilt still whispers. Shouldn't you be there? Are you disappointing someone? Are you choosing yourself too much? We start idealizing the holidays we had as children. We remember the laughter, the food, the noise, all these memories, and we forget the chaos, the stress, the arguments. Memory becomes a romantic storyteller, a romantic rollercoaster, and suddenly whatever we choose, going home or staying in our new home feels imperfect. It feels like hurting someone, but here's the truth, no one tells you. This guilt is not a sign you are doing something wrong. This is a sign you are living in two worlds at once, and that's where Mel Robbins mindset comes in. One of the most grounding ideas I've read recently comes from Mel Robbins. Let them let me mindset. If you haven't read the book. I definitely recommend it, and I remember reading and thinking this is the emotional survival guide for experts and migrants. Here's the heart of it. Let people react how they react. Let them feel how they feel. Let them have their expectations and let them misunderstand your choices. Let them be disappointed if they are, and let them wish your home. You do not have to manage their emotions. You don't have to defend your decision. You do not have to turn yourself into an emotional glue holding everyone together. You are allowed to let people be who they are and still choose the life that works for you. Mel says it beautifully. When you stop trying to control how others feel, you finally reclaim your own peace. And this is exactly the work we do as migrants and experts every holiday season. Because you cannot satisfy both worlds perfectly, even if you want it. So let them feel what they feel. Let them have their reactions, let them have their opinions and let them have their expectations. It doesn't make you a bad daughter, a bad son. A bad mother, a bad, a father, a bad partner, or a bad friend. It makes you human. The second part of the framework that let them, let me, framework is the part we don't talk about enough. Let yourself, let me let yourself choose rest. Let yourself avoid a complicated, expensive, exhausting trip. Let yourself be fully present with the family you live with. Now. Let yourself protect your mental health. Let yourself have a quiet Christmas. Let yourself create new rituals. Let yourself feel sad and let yourself feel relieved. Lastly, let yourself change your mind. I love the people I left behind, and I also need to choose what is right for me here. That's emotional adulthood, that's boundaries. And ultimately that's courage because our parents and sometimes our friends grew up in a world where physical presence equaled love. But we live in a world where connection looks different today. Love has expanded, stretched, reshaped itself across borders. Let yourself live in the reality you're in, not the one you feel pressure recreate. The third layer Of the framework is the softest. Let it be. Let this year be what it is. Not perfect, not traditional, not what you imagine, not what family back home wishes it were just what it is. Let this year be the year you built your own rituals. A beach walk, a slow morning coffee. Pancakes in pajamas sunset instead of snow, or snow instead of sunset. A quiet day, A tiny moment that anchors your family to this home, these rituals. That we talk a lot about here in the podcast are not replacements for your past. They are offerings to your present. And let your holidays be different. Let them be small, let them be yours. Let go of the performance. Let go of the pressure. And let go of the illusion that you can make every world happy. You can't let me break it to you. That's not possible, but you can make this, this world the one you live. Now feel like home If this conversation resonates, I definitely recommend Mel Robins. Book. It's not written specifically for expats or migrants, but it feels like it was, at least for me, Mel Robbins, let them framework offers the emotional language we need when we are navigating guilt, distance change, and expectations. It's wise, it's very simple. It's an easy read. I think it took three days for me to finish it. It's compassionate, and a perfect companion for anyone living across worlds, especially this time of the year in December. So if you're listening right now and feeling torn guilty, nostalgic, conflicted, this is your soft reminder. Let them feel what they feel. Let yourself choose what you need. Let the season be what it is, and let that be enough. You're not doing the holidays wrong. You are doing them honestly. You are living in the messy middle, and that takes courage. And if today's episode comforted you share it with someone who might need it. And download your free Life abroad workbook in the link below, which is filled with grounding props. For moments just like this. Thank you for being here. And remember, wherever you are in the world, you are doing great