EP 20 — Returning to New Zealand: A Year Reflections

Transcript

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Welcome back to Almost Local. I'm Maria, your host, podcasting from Auckland New Zealand. If you're new here, a warm welcome, almost local is a community for those navigating life abroad. Sharing the ups and downs of living in a new country. If you have been listening to the podcast, welcome back and thank you for tuning in once again. Today's episode is a year end reflection on what 2025 has been for me. This is about returning, not starting from zero. A brief timeline, about my journey navigating life abroad. I'm from Argentina, originally from, Buenos Aires. In 2016 we moved to New Zealand my husband and the two kids. Were three and five, and we lived in Auckland until 2022. Right after the pandemic we moved to the Netherlands, where we lived in the Hague for three years. This year, we moved back to New Zealand where we have been living for the past five months. For us returning to New Zealand, has been like coming back to our old house obviously our kids now are. Teenagers. They are 13 and 15, I also grew up a bit, so, same country, same house, different people. I'm not starting from scratch in New Zealand, but I am also not the same person who left. So let's dive into today's episode. So now that we are back in New Zealand, I'm not the same person the place, feels familiar, but some things don't feel the same. I came back, carrying old memories as soon as we landed in New Zealand, all the memories came back from the airport. Auckland's Airport is not a big airport it, feels familiar. We knew exactly how to navigate the airport, what we were supposed to do. It was like, okay, we are home. We took, the same shuttle as three years ago. The same company was very easy to find. What also we found familiar was like we were arriving to our old house, so the street, just driving around our neighborhood. We live in Oakland, in Glen, just passing by the streets everything was quiet. Not many people walking around seeing Mount Taylor, the, lovely scenery in Auckland. Those things were familiar to us and we were so happy and excited to see this again. But at the same time, as soon as, it was, night, everything felt really dark. The city was super dark. We had forgotten about how dark, this city is in the night, there are no lights, which is a great thing, but you need to get used to that again. In Europe, you have lights everywhere and it's, busy everywhere. So here this quiet, environment, dark, you don't see anyone. That felt, different, we also, found familiar faces. Our neighbors, our friends, that was really nice. They all helped us from Europe. We were. Calling them and asking for help with different things we needed to, settle the community, sense we always loved about New Zealand, is something we instantly found here, with our friends and neighbors who. Came to say hello and ask if we needed something. Some things felt, unexpectedly foreign, we found, the city full of cars. Maybe, it looked busier than before a lot of, new houses in the neighborhood. Adapting back to our new life in New Zealand, for the past five months has been a mix of memories and identity comparing your life here with the life you had before. Comparing countries and cities, is inevitable. That's part of what happens when you go back to a place you call home. Returning isn't about finding your way, it's about renegotiating who you are there's actually a name for what I went through this past months. It's called reverse Culture Shock, and it's harder than the first or second move. Reverse culture shock happens when you return to a familiar place as a different person, it often includes. Doubt, like did we make a mistake? Was this the right choice, it also includes grief for the place you left. Even if you sure that you wanted to live, you would still be uncertain about and could be doubting if that was the right decision. It includes irritability with things you once accepted. It includes comparison even when you don't want to, it's inevitable to compare with the country you're coming from. That's part of the experience. It includes exhaustion, a strange sense of not fully belong. Anywhere, not here and not there because you left. It can feel emotional and lonely. Many people report it lasts between three to 12 months. It's common to feel better around the fourth and sixth month, but it really takes time. It could take up a year. To go through this reverse cultural shock. I remember, landing in New Zealand at the airport, I was 200% sure of our decision and almost immediately in the following days, I was thinking, what the heck did we do? That's. Part of what we go through when we change countries, and it's, harder than the first move, and it's called reverse culture shock. One of the hardest things since we came back has been explaining why we came back. People kept asking us. And every time I meet someone new, they are like, so why did you come back? We always knew we were going to return to New Zealand. That was our plan. However, I don't think people really believed that we were returning. Sometimes decisions are made in a different way, not as people expect. Sometimes I reply like I'm some sort of, robot because it's difficult to keep answering the same question. It's sometimes not a simple explanation, to people in Europe. It sounded like we were going to the end of the world new Zealand. And to people here, it was like, oh, you really did come back. We didn't think you would. A lot of people thought that this is it. They're living and they're not returning. There's that awkward moment when you try to put something emotional and instinctive into logical words, and it never sounds quite right. Sometimes, belonging isn't a strategic decision. It's more a feeling rather than a logical decision. There was a moment when I realized that I had changed. I was looking at the kiwi kindness that is so New Zealand, that everyone talks about from the outside. After three years of Dutch directness, efficient, honest, sometimes tough, I got used to it. Coming back, to New Zealand, the Kiwi style felt slower, more roundabout, and I caught myself missing the Dutch clarity, that really surprised me because I'd admired this easy kiwi warmth before. So that was, a bit of a shock for myself when one used to feel perfect, now feels different. Not worse, just seen through new eyes, some habits return within days like, saying hello to strangers on a walk or, you know, that, chat that just starts randomly about the weather or swimming on the ocean. It's a sunny day for a swim, isn't it? And you don't even know the person, and suddenly you are engaging in conversation with a total stranger. Talking about weekend plans on Monday mornings at my coworking space, people really make space for this small talk. I love that pause. I love that you are not just jumping into work, talking and making space to connect. That's exactly what this small talk is about. It's connecting with people. That is something I had forgotten about, but I got used to that quickly. This friendliness, that doesn't need a reason. You just talk and have this human connection. And then here in New Zealand there are the sounds of nature, the birds here, are so loud. Sometimes they are even louder than the traffic. And something that I particularly love, are the beaches still empty, still stunning, and the luxury of space, which is really unique in New Zealand. Those are the moments when I think. We are incredibly lucky to live here. This past year has been a difficult one for many, and before leaving in 2022, I had to say goodbye to people who were truly sad now coming back here and being welcomed, in such a warm way. Such a kind way walking back to these same arms and hearing people, hugging them and hearing them say, oh, Maria, you actually came back just like you said you would. And to see, genuine happiness in their faces. That really moved me deeply. How can you not love a country that welcomes you back with open arms and huge smiles, New Zealand held space for us again, and for that I'm really grateful.. Maybe you've had that too, coming back to a place somewhere new and realizing the place hasn't changed much, but you have, and that is part of this journey when you live abroad. You definitely change so much and there is so much growth, in that. Space I love to call the InBetween space. You're not from here. You're not from there. You are in the InBetween, and I would say honor it. It's exactly there. That growth lives. So thanks for being here with me Past months, almost local has just started. It's a, a podcast that I began just few months ago. But, I. I've been sharing my stories about this new chapter here in New Zealand, I will see you in the next episode, the last one for this year, and we will have a fresh start in New Zealand with a podcast next year. If you like this episode, remember to like. Comment, leave a review, share with other almost locals. We are growing a community and we have listeners, all around the world. Not only here in New Zealand, Australia, but also different countries in Europe, Germany, Spain, the Netherlands. South America, Canada, us, Japan, Egypt. If you're listening from these corners of the world, thank you so much. I will be seeing you next episode. And now I'm going off to my morning coffee. Thank you.