EP 23 — Maria & Sandra: Expat reflections from Dubai

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Welcome to another episode of the Almost Local podcast. I'm Maria, and today I'm podcasting from Auckland New Zealand, I am really excited for our new season where we dive into the challenges of life abroad. Join me as we delve into the ups and downs of expert life and the challenges of becoming a migrant. Today. I am happy to welcome our first guest of 2026, Sandra, who is currently living in Dubai. she is going to walk us through her, life as an expat. As I have been sharing in the last, episode of, almost local podcast, we also have great, things happening, for the almost local community here in New Zealand. We are hosting our first workshop and our first coffee circles for experts, migrants and newcomers to New Zealand. If you are living in New Zealand and want to join us for our very first life in between workshop, I am excited to announce that this is going to be happening next Saturday, February 14th at two 30. It's one hour and a half of fun and, a really interactive workshop a small group of expats or migrants here in New Zealand. If you are in Auckland, check our Instagram or website, almost local, where we have more information about how to join us this is a small event. We would love to, welcome you if you'd like to, meet me, meet Andrea from the team. We are going to have a really, interactive session where we talk specifically about identity. Our theme is who have I become since I moved abroad? This is a nice way to meet other almost locals, also, reflect on your journey and your identity as someone who started a new life in a new country. Next Saturday, February 14th, 2026. Here in Auckland, New Zealand in our, space in San Hellier, near the beach. Now let's begin this interview with Sandra. I'm sure you will find a lot in common with her many learnings. A really interesting journey from Sandra, who, is living in Dubai. This is a relaxed chat where we can share our experiences, about living abroad. Can you share briefly, where is home for you and how you started navigating this expat life? Thank you so much for having me. I appreciate being here i'm originally Egyptian and Lebanese, but I consider myself a typical third culture person. I've been raised as an expat since I was four. I was born in Cairo, but I've lived in many areas around the world, Currently I'm living in Dubai, in the United Arab Emirates. This is my third time back in the UAE. it's a perfect city for a third culture kid because it's very much a third culture, city. You feel comfortable as an expat here because about 80% of the population is expat, which is unique around the world. And prior to living in the UAEI was living in Hong Kong for 10 years, so I was an established expat there. Before that I was living in Europe. Before that I was living in Dubai. I also studied in Montreal, Canada. I'm married to a British person. Very much international in my background. you mentioned, Sandra, that, you love the expat community and the expat experience and the environment. What is that you love about it? I think for me it's really the people. The most beautiful part of being an expat is being exposed to the variety and complexity of people's backgrounds cultures personalities and the journeys they've been through. For someone like me who's naturally very curious, and interested in people's journeys and lives, being an expat is fueling my curiosity and interest in, connecting with humans. I love to connect, and get to know people deeply. in expat life you're almost every day meeting different people from different backgrounds connecting with them and learning about their cultures the more I meet people from other places, the more curious I become. It's like a cycle that keeps growing. Do you have this feeling as well? Yeah, I think so. Just when you think you've met someone from every place in the world, someone new pops up, I remember, I was on a women's walk. Organized by, a community here. I joined the walk and, was walking with two ladies they were speaking in a language I wasn't familiar with. When they were speaking in English, I, noticed their accent. I asked them are you from Malta? The ladies were shocked. How could you know, we're from Malta specifically. The year before I was at a hairdresser and the lady next to me was Maltese, she knew my English teacher from high school. Who was also Maltese. I remembered the accent because it sounds a little bit Italian, but a little bit Arabic, I met her and I discovered a little bit about multi culture, and then I met these women again on this walk. And then I. Noticed the accent and realized they're more ease I learned more about their culture it was really interesting'cause they started talking about where their language came from, and I learned they have a bit of an Arabic influence Just when, you think you've met everybody in the world a new culture comes up and, you start to learn more. Sandra, you love the expat community and you've been always exposed to it. How do you think people, who return to their home countries feel like, okay, this is it. This chapter is over, am I going to adapt to not being in this expat environment? It's quite a big challenge. It's like grieving that part of your life, right? For me yearn for their home country, but then when they go back, they don't connect with that anymore because that was their previous identity identity for me is A moving train, each part of your life is a new layer of your identity. Or maybe like a canvas, and experience is adding a new coat of paint or a new color onto the canvas. The canvas is never the same as what it was before. It changes each time. If you're looking at yourself now versus 20 years ago versus in 20 years, it's going to change. Sometimes when people go back to their home country, they feel like a foreigner in their own country. I haven't personally gone. Back to, where I was born, which is Egypt but I can imagine, I wouldn't necessarily feel like a true, Egyptian my accent is not, perfect in Egyptian, Arabic or, the way I dress or my mannerisms a lot of people get surprised, even Egyptians, when I say I'm Egyptian or I'm Lebanese, they don't really, connect me to that culture. It's interesting. I always say that identity, changes with different, life stages. When you are a teenager, you might get married, have kids, your first jobs, we all go through different stages. I have a theory that, for us who, live abroad, these stages are more evident. One of the reasons the stages are more pronounced, is because you don't have the normal social support system of people you've known since you were born a lot of us who live abroad are on our own. And yes, we've got friends, but even the friends, I can speak for myself in Dubai, are coming and going all the time. This city is transient by nature. Where I lived before Hong Kong is transient, and even London, where I lived before, is also transient, which means people are constantly moving in and out. There's a lot of changes happening. I agree with you, Maria, that the significance of those changes can be more pronounced because you have to rely on yourself and perhaps your nuclear family if you have one. Let's say for example, you were having a baby for the first time in your hometown. had friends who have also had babies and your mom maybe your aunties even your grandma and you're in the neighborhood you were born in you even have the same family doctor. So all of those things give a certain stability that is not there when you have a baby on your own. Like I did in London. I didn't have my family there. I didn't have any good friends. I wasn't in a neighborhood. I just moved there one year before and because of all the fluctuations and changes, you sometimes feel a little bit isolated or alone even though you're surrounded by people. That's what makes that transition point more significant and a little more challenging. You already have your system in place, right? And you don't even question it when you are just living in the same place and that's your home. But when you are changing different countries and environments, this is a different, layer of, awareness, right? You are really paying attention to what's happening in that moment. Let's talk about, what can help navigate, life abroad in a moment of crisis? Or like you were saying, these crossroads to keep momentum and don't get stuck. What are the things that you talk with, from your personal experience and that you hear from other experts. I'll start by telling you what helped me when I was stuck. One of the first things you lose when you're stuck is your ability to listen to your inner voice. your ability to tap into yourself, It's important to cultivate some kind of practice, whether it's a solitude practice, a journaling practice, or a meditative practice that can help you get back to yourself. that self doesn't mean your old self, it means your current self, intuition. Understand where you are now and where you wanna go. Oftentimes when you're stuck, it's because you're either stuck in the past or thinking too far into the future, not present to take that step. And so you're stuck and not able to move from the past or towards the future. tapping into your inner voice, listening to that is the first step that I would advise people who are feeling stuck. Even a simple practice, like picking up a journal asking yourself one question in the morning, how do I feel today? What's my intention for the day? And at the end of the day, evaluating, what went well today, having a moment of quiet and answering those questions can really help. So that's point number one, tap into the inner voice. The second one would be to connect, if you are feeling stuck connect with other people. Who are perhaps doing something you would like to do, for example, if you wanna get back to work, start going to some communities of other women who are either job seeking or already in the industry you want to be in. If you want to find a hobby that you're passionate about, start connecting with other people. Let's say you're into art, or used to be into art, connect with people in the art community, The third thing that I find really helpful to get unstuck is to get back to habits that you want to foster, let's say you want to be healthier. Start building a cornerstone habit that will help you become healthier. When I moved to the UAE and was on a health journey, I started doing yoga again. That became a cornerstone habit. I started with one session a week, then, added a second or third session. Before I knew it, I was back into my yoga habits. That helped me, with mindfulness and becoming more calm, it helped me build other habits in my life, which made me more healthy. I was eating better. I was, sleeping earlier, I was more mindful, so I was less trust. finding a cornerstone habit that can help you get unstuck would be the third piece of advice I would give to people if they're feeling stuck. at Oprah's show here in Auckland. She was talking about, two things that are connected to what you're saying. one is the intention of everything that you do. Just go back to intention and reflect a bit on, why are, are you taking the actions that you're taking? So she was sharing about this and the, inner voice, she talked about Whispering I think it's the word whisper. It's nice because if you want, you can just avoid and don't listen to it. How important is to connect to that inner voice? I love that idea of the whisper. we have so much noise in our life, from the things we need to do stress the negative voice that we have about ourself. So that can create a lot of noise that drowns out. The whisper. Sometimes it's external factors, people telling us we can't do something, or society's voices that can also drown out that inner whisper. Have you had any moments where, although you know all of this, looking back, think I was definitely needing this advice. Have you been through a challenge in this, journey where you felt. I don't know what I'm doing. I don't know where I'm going. I don't know what's right, what's wrong. I don't have the answers anymore. Have you felt like losing momentum in your journey? Yes. I think everyone has those moments and it's really important to talk about them because with social media, it's easy to look at how beautiful and perfect everyone's life is not really see what's happening behind the scenes, to see how did this person who you're seeing so perfect get to this point, including, celebrities, coaches, mentors, people we idolize. They've all had moments in their life where they were crying on the bathroom floor, I think there is no such life as a perfect life, which has all gone smoothly and in an upward trajectory. The ups and downs of life are the moments where we form our character and have our learnings. To answer your question, yes, I have had moments of feeling deeply lost and stuck. One such moment I would love to share with you is when I was in Hong Kong had a young baby it was in that moment I felt a lot of culture shock. It was the first time in my life experiencing culture shock, which was interesting because I had lived, in the UAE Montreal, London, Paris, and had never experienced culture shock before. I think it was really the contrast in cultures that was so stark, between my culture and the culture in Hong Kong. That was the first thing that, I found really difficult adapting to Hong Kong is a very busy, frenetic city. I'm there with a new baby. I don't have any friends, It felt very foreign to me. It took a long time for me to feel settled and comfortable. I had put a lot of pressure on myself to get back to work because, I had always been somebody who wanted to achieve a lot, and was quite ambitious. I was very much looking to get back into a career. It was only closed doors. I sent out many cvs. tried to knock on many doors and, was either getting, silence, or rejections that was really difficult for me. I remember one particular moment where I had finally gotten my big break I was sitting in front of a young lady, a head hunter who specialized in marketing, which was my background I remember her looking at my cv. Particularly my career gap and saying what have you been doing for the last few years? I explained my background moving to Hong Kong how difficult it had been and how I was really proud of myself. I'd gotten settled my, baby was starting to go to nursery I was, ready for my new challenge she took my CV passed it across the table and said I don't think I can place you. You haven't done anything over the last few years. No employer is gonna look at your CV get some free experience or do some volunteering then come back It was like. A punch in the stomach. I went outside and burst into tears because she had reinforced everything I believed about myself, that I was worthless, that I had no value, that I was a useless person in society now that I wasn't contributing. These are all such harsh things and ashamed to say that I thought that about myself, but she verbalized everything I believed about me. It was a really low moment, i'm sure a lot of people listening to this can relate You had just had a baby. How old was your baby? She was 18 months. So you were moving to a different country, different language, totally different culture. And on top of that, you are trying to. Start over in such a foreign country. one of the biggest challenges, would you say? did you begin to hate the place? How long had it been since you moved, when this happened? It was less than a year into me being in Hong Kong. It's at those moments in your life where you can crumble. And that's definitely what I felt like doing emotionally. I thought, that was my last opportunity. It's not gonna happen. this is one of the reasons, it really sold the seed for what I do now and the reason I've taken up, coaching to support women, I don't want. Any woman to ever feel like I did in that moment and feel like they can't get out of that situation. I did feel like I was just gonna give up. But I also think that moment gave me that motivation to go out and prove her wrong. Inside, I knew that my experience, my skills, my drive was more than what it said in that gap in that cv. Sometimes, the naysayers or the negative people who put you down can be. A source of motivation for you. If you are able to channel that negative energy into a positive direction. I was determined, but also lucky to make my next move, which helped me eventually get back into a career, and situation, I was more content with. I did use it as fuel, But sometimes you need more support. everyone's got a different, way of handling this kind of situation. these challenges are what we always talk about, the apps and the downs, right? And to go up, you probably need to go down first It's part of life. Looking back to that experience and your time in Hong Kong, so challenging for you with the baby and trying to start a new life and find a job in a difficult, culture. do you feel like you would still choose to go through that difficult experience shaped you in a way to help you get momentum as well? Not get stuck in that negative, situation and this person putting you down, do you feel like, you would say that helped me and I would choose to have that in my life as part of who I am now. That question is a question everybody should ask themselves when they're going through a bad moment, recalling the last bad moment they went through and how it's shaped them, is a really good way to give context and to give them power in the challenge that they're facing now. I think would look back at a crisis and say, I would choose to go through that again'cause of who I am now or what I've learned for me, that's definitely the case. I feel like that crisis, really it was an identity crisis is the reason that I do what I do now and I love doing what I do I don't think I would've reached where I am now and had the motivation to do what I do had I not experienced that identity crisis, that feeling of being stuck, lost, that very dark moment. I don't think I would've found my meaning and purpose in life, as I did right now. So I do appreciate and I am very grateful for that moment because that helped alongside other moments as well. It helped me to plant the seed for where I am now. For someone who is listening might be struggling with difficult moments, not being able to find a good job or not feeling welcomed in a new country. What kind of message, or learnings you have now with all the experience you had I mean, just kind of going back to what I was suggesting before I think the first most important thing to do if you're at that crossroads or feeling stuck, is. To build your self-awareness. There's many ways you can build your self-awareness. a really good one is some kind of solitude or self-reflection practice, drawing attention to yourself and understanding where am I now where do I want to go, and where is that gap? A lot of our unhappiness lies in where our expectations are versus where we are now. If you can narrow the gap between your expectations where you are, you can become more content. I think it's about understanding these questions. The second thing I would recommend is find a community, or even a person, where you can find support a problem shared is a problem half so I think it's really important if you can share your concerns with another person or group that can really help you get unstuck through the support. The third thing I would say is be kind to yourself. Often, when we tune into that inner voice, we find that we are very critical of ourselves. Why haven't I got a job yet? Why haven't I settled in yet? Why haven't I made any friends yet? And so, managing those expectations are really important, as I mentioned, in terms of your contentment or happiness. Be kind to yourself. Pay attention to the voice in your mind, we listen to ourselves the most. If your inner narrative is negative, that is going to keep you stuck. It's about changing that narrative and, finding somebody. That can help you, whether that's a mentor coach therapist or experienced friend, you could end up hating a place or blaming yourself, there is no perfect place, and it's just a bit of expectations over where you're at at the moment, did your story continue in Hong Kong were you able to connect and find a community to, gain momentum in this? moment where you were stuck in your professional life. Yeah. if you are feeling stuck. Try to pivot, often when we're stuck it's because we're trying the same thing over and over again, or we're not trying something. So what I did in that moment, as I said, the conventional route of trying to find a job is not working for me. The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result, I need to do something different. I joined some communities. the British Chamber of Commerce. a community that does corporate social responsibility, I started to pursue my interests, Through the British Chamber of Commerce, I met a lady who had suggested to me to apply to a job in the British Consulate, which I felt underqualified for. When I applied for that job, I was the underdog but because I had this connection with someone that got to know me, she was able to vouch for me. She was able to say, you can do this, I believe in you. And so I actually did get the job. I was definitely least experienced by far. But I did have a lot of drive. I was able to communicate well what I had to offer. Because of that, I was able to get this job, and from there I was able to build back my career and identity. I had a six year, experience in that job, which was part of my journey to where I am now. Eventually I had an executive coach my first exposure to coaching. That was the beginning of my own coaching journeys. I think it's so inspiring. I love everything that you're sharing. some might say, it was easy for you because you are driven But it's not like that, right? For some people it might be more difficult, but the connections with others, it's where it all began, right? You didn't know exactly what the outcome would be, but you started to connect with people in an authentic way, it is a way of, building without, getting stuck This, connection with others, There are two things I want to mention here to acknowledge it will be difficult. It will be challenging. It's not about belittling, how challenging things are going to be. And also not about denying each person's challenges and their own experiences maybe networking is easier for me because of my personality type. And maybe someone else may not be as comfortable with networking. Maybe it's about connecting with their neighbor a fellow school mom, or a little art group. For each person, the connection is going to be different. What I share is my own experience with my personality. that was a step I was able to take because of, what I'm comfortable with. It's about moving forward and momentum. For me, it's about putting one foot in front of the other and, maybe sprawling before you can walk. As long as you are moving and trying, the worst thing you can do is nothing. when you do nothing, nothing is going to land in your lab. any change that you want to make in your life is going to come with discomfort because change is not comfortable for human beings we are wired to maintain the same thing, because that is what is known. That is how we survived, by maintaining the same thing. Change becomes uncomfortable for us, and sometimes change to us is like a tiger, attacking us. We feel the adrenaline and we feel like we wanna fight the change. But if you push through that uncomfortable feeling, the fear, the stress, the anxiety on the other side, that change might be the best thing that's ever happened to you. It was very challenging for me, for example, to pivot my career. I had so much self-doubt, imposter syndrome. When they make a big change in their life, it will come with feelings of discomfort and some fears. As long as you tap into your inner voice rely on and ask for help, it makes that change a lot. it's understanding that It will be difficult Depending on your personality, your style, challenges will come your way. When you step out of your comfort zone, you are exposing yourself to things that are going to be different. I was asking you about the timeline. When was the moment where you had this not pleasant experience with the recruiter? it was, a year after moving, was quite recent. Everything was quite raw. You were just new to the place. all these difficult moments and challenges happened in the first year, try to put them in perspective. You are not completely yourself as well, right? Correct. Since you are a mother. I've been comparing my new experience back in New Zealand for five months. I was talking to a friend and I was saying I feel like, I just gave birth, and I'm back to the house with the baby nothing feels, the same. I'm trying to understand what's happening. It is a phase with the baby, right? The truth is you don't know. It is like, a crisis. how would you describe it as a coach? I think it is a crisis. When you are in that moment it's a crisis it's all about your own experience. Maybe to someone else, like someone can pick up and move to, you know, country every two years. And for them it's just like, okay, they start again. We're all unique human beings with different capacities, character traits and experiences. For us at that moment, when I was sitting in front of that headhunter, that was a crisis for you, the moment where you came back and, you're a completely changed person, it is a crisis for you. So, I think it's really important to acknowledge, when we are going through a low point or a moment of crisis. society puts this pressure on us. Even as a new mom, we've gotta come out and be skinny we don't have to have stretch marks have perfect makeup and be wearing. High heels, These expectations put on us as mothers, whether we are expat mothers or not, is just so unrealistic. I think it's really been exacerbated by social media because we have all these influencers and royals looking perfect after having a baby. And it's the same with moving countries. It can feel like a real crisis to our identity. I think it's about acknowledging that and saying, okay, this is where I am now. Where do I want to be? Who is that future self that. Is going to be really comfortable here that is going to embrace this experience, and how do I build little habits and micro steps towards that person? One technique we use in the workshops is writing a letter to your future self. Let's say yourself in three years looking back, telling yourself now, what would you say to yourself it's not an easy exercise, but it's quite a powerful one. We often do a little meditation before. You said a word, which is very powerful, which is perspective. Sometimes we lose perspective when we are in a crisis. the way you talk, gives me peace, like things are possible. We are not gonna just be where we are now. Things are gonna shift, your emotions are gonna shift. They're gonna pass. I often liken them to the sky, when you're in crisis, the sky is dark and there's a lot of clouds, and maybe there's rain and maybe it's cold, The weather's going to change. You can help, you can do things, you can get warmer, you can put a rain coach, you can do all those things to help yourself. You can, move indoors, sometimes the weather shifts and, things start to look up. It's always your choice how you react to a stimulus. Sometimes it doesn't feel like it's our choice. The situation is not our choice. The stimulus is not our choice. So if you've moved countries and you're following your partner or this decision was taken out of your hands. That's not your choice, but how you react to it is your choice. You can sit and sulk like I did. I cried sulked and hated the place. I did go through that, and that's okay as well. But eventually the reaction is your choice, I love to be honest about it, right? Like you said, it's not social media. It's not just shiny and lovely and perfect. going, to our end of our conversations, I think we could speak for hours Following the same exercise, say to your younger self? If you were, able to send a message to your 20-year-old self about what was going to happen and, your advice, what would you say to that younger Sandra? I would definitely go back to the moment where I had my first child. That's the moment I needed a comforting or supportive voice to give me advice. I would say to her. Listen to your inner voice, tap into your intuition, follow your passion, and not be so concerned with the noise of societal expectations and the immense pressure we put on ourselves as new moms, as women, trying to get back to work. Cut out the noise, the expectations, and tune in to your inner self, your passion, your purpose, And not put so much pressure on yourself. be in community, connect, with other people and allow others to help and support you. a decade later, I had incredible support from an incredible coach a fantastic mentor and some really good friends who had experience. That really helped me to go towards what I'm doing now and what I'm passionate about find a mentor, find a coach, find a supportive friend, and ask for help. It's okay to ask for help. Sandra, thank you so much. It's been a real pleasure to meet you learn from you and share, your journey, when we share the podcast, we include your, Instagram so that people can see what you do my Instagram is at third culture Coach. As I described before, my identity is a third culture kid. I support expat women, to help them find their passion and purpose. go back to work, through my program, with my partner called, empower. That's my Instagram. Really happy to connect with expats, like yourself. I enjoy learning about people's journeys and seeing how I can support, as well. Thank you for your time today. I love what you're doing with this podcast because help women living in a different culture from where they were born. When you hear someone else's journey, and learn what they've been through, it makes you feel a lot less isolated and lonely, which is a challenge to a lot of people who live abroad. Thank you for doing what you do as well, Maria. Thank you, Sandra. We have enough with our challenges and difficulties, why would we have to do it alone? Thank you very much. I hope you found this, interview with Sandra inspiring and that you could, reflect on your own journey if you've been following the Almost local podcast. Thank you so much for listening. If you feel like it, leave a review, like us on Instagram, let's spread the word. This community is growing. For all the almost locals around the globe who are tuning in, from Europe, Asia, we have listeners, all around, the world, the us, Canada, here in New Zealand, of course Australia. remember we have the blog where we share all of these insightful, conversations with experts and migrants. Thank you once again and, I will see you in the next episode. And now, as usual, I'm off to my coffee this morning. Bye now.