EP 24 — Two Suitcases: What We Leave & What We Carry

Transcript

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Welcome to another episode of the Almost Local podcast. I'm Maria, your host, and today I'm podcasting from Auckland, New Zealand almost local is a space for anyone navigating life abroad. It is a space to share stories, find support, love, and grow. So today I'm going to share a bit what happened in our very first workshop, our interactive session here in Auckland, we were a beautiful group of women sharing kind conversations around our experiences abroad. So from someone who just arrived a few months ago, to New Zealand, to others who've been here in this country for the past 20 years. we did a simple exercise, just suitcases. But first, let me tell you a bit about the group. We were in total 14 women. Well, as you know, I'm from Argentina, but we had others joining from, other nationalities such as, Brazilians, south Africans, Germany, Chileans, and, a, a woman from New Zealand. So this diverse group, was interesting because also we had some women who had recently arrived just a few months ago, so just starting their journeys abroad. But we also had participants who have been here three years, also 10 years, such as myself and some others who have been here for 20 years or even more so this diverse Beautiful group of women who were, brave enough to come and share their journeys in our, workshop here, at the almost local, space. Was really insightful and I would love to share some of the reflections that, stayed with me and learnings as well. Of course. So I'm not going to name anyone because this is a private space this is just, my own learnings from this session. So the exercise, we did was about two suitcases. One suitcase represented what we left. And the other one represented about what we carry with us, in our new country. I somehow expected, people to say, family, friends, and food of course. But one woman said something that really stayed with me. And I think it summarizes a lot of how we feel as migrants and someone who is living in a different country, which is of course related to identity at the end of the day, our own identities. She said, I left my confidence, the room was quiet once she said that, because I think, a lot of us were. Yeah, that's exactly it. That's what we left behind. We definitely left our confidence because I think many of us have left something invisible behind when we move abroad. But when you step out of your comfort zone moving to another country, it really affects your confidence. So, for example, not knowing the social codes, like, when to shake hands, when to give a hug. So those social codes, you need to learn them all again. And even when you learn them and you know, if they are too different from how you are used to. Behave in your country and how you are, it can really affect how confident you feel. If you're someone who often uses humor, not knowing how to make a joke or, or even worse not understanding the jokes, that's really something that can affect confidence. Second, guessing yourself, like you think you understand something and you are sure about something, but when you're moving countries, you start second guessing those things you're not so sure about how things work, you're not so sure about if you really understood the person. So those things really can affect confidence. I would say for those who live abroad, especially when you're living in a country where you don't speak the same language for me, as you know, I am from Argentina, so my home language is. Spanish. And I moved to New Zealand where of course we speak English, and also, a very specific accent here in New Zealand, the Kiwi English. So the first months here, when I first moved, at the beginning 10 years ago, I was really struggling with understanding people here. being uncomfortable in your day-to-day life is not the same as not having comfort one day of your life eventually. Like if you go to an event and you're not so comfortable, or one day at work where you are not comfortable, but living your life. Behind this simple word, comfort. There is a lot. Some examples of this is, knowing how the system works. Simple things like where to buy bread, where to buy meat. I know this sounds, like, obvious, but every country works differently. When, I moved to the Netherlands, I had to learn all the. System for the vaccines of our kids. We moved to another country and things worked really different over there. And also everything was in Dutch. It takes time to learn and, having to start from scratch again was really stepping out of my comfort zone once again. Another thing is being understood without explaining yourself. So in your own culture, you explain something. Once probably, and that's enough. You say something, that's enough. But when you move countries, you might need to explain yourself more than once Sometimes because we're not confident enough, we overexplain because we are not sure if the others are really getting what we are trying to say. Feeling socially fluent. I think that's one of the most difficult parts. And what really affects confidence, even. The most casual events like, coffee with, school moms, drinks after work. I mean, I'm talking about very relaxed, things that we do normally, like we are not in front of an audience. It's not a professional setup, but even being fluent in those little daily connections with others, it can become really uncomfortable. So for me, comfort was another word that really nailed it in this workshop that we had. I was like, how such a simple word can really say so much. Then a Brazilian said something that I never consider, but I mean, how about the passion for sports? Those are things that are connected to our culture in ways that we really struggle because Brazilians, also Argentinians and Latins in general, we all say that we are really passionate. And that is something that people usually point out about Latin Americans. So the passion for sports, it's a reflection of that passion, right? But you miss those. Things. Going to a match, a rugby match, a football match here in New Zealand, a lot of rugby. And the match is quiet. We went there just the last weekend and we were just sitting, it had no, passion in terms of people, cheering and, and standing up. And, you know, if you are Latin American, you know what I'm talking about. passion for sports, that's a, a, something I, I really, liked about, listening from, from these women. Of course we, we have. A big one. That is family, family gatherings, right? The family barbecues on a Sunday. So some cultures, like in Argentina, a family Sunday barbecue. It's an event where you can have 20, 30, 40 people, all the family. And, it begins early in the morning and it could become a dinner. You know, after lunch everyone stays, everyone is running around. That's how those, barbecues work. So, one of the women, one of the women that were in the event, in the workshop, she said, I left behind those, Sunday barbecues. But what do we carry? If we are now moving on to what we carry in our suitcases, one of the things that I thought about what I carry and some other women's had the same are dreams, right? We have these dreams of maybe starting over in a new place with, exploring new places, the sense of the adventure, meeting new people, learning a new culture. So, a lot of dreams maybe, pivoting your career, doing something different, learning something different. Starting, a project, starting a business. Challenging yourself. So a lot of dreams, those are the ones that we carry in those suitcases. I would like to mention is about the future for our kids, right? When you move with kids, it's a different vision for the decision to leave your country, it's what future do you want to give your kids? So sometimes, that is something that we are not thinking so much about ourselves, but what legacy are we, living, right? So those who have kids or who moved and then, build a family abroad, of course, those are the things you carry with you, If you ever felt like you left a version of yourself behind when you moved, you're not alone. Maybe the question isn't just what did I leave? But what am I slowly rebuilding? Because almost local is a space that uplifts and celebrates life beyond our comfort zone. I hope you enjoyed this reflections of, our very first workshop here in Oakland. It was, great moment to reflect and to laugh and, to feel a bit emotional, thinking back, on all the challenges. That we all go through when moving abroad, but also, a bit empowered knowing that, despite of all the challenges of all the struggles, we still stand and, I would like to leave you with this positive message, so wherever you are in the world, thank you for tuning in. I am so excited when I check, the locations where we have, people listening to the podcast. Because, almost local started just last year. And I can see people connecting from so many parts of the world. I'm excited about what we are building. This space is, global because with the podcast, it's possible to get, to every corner in the world. But also it's growing here as a small community in New Zealand, which is exciting. If this resonates, share it with other almost locals.