Sisters in the Gray: Vegas

Today we’re stepping into something that isn’t black and white.

It’s not a scandal.
 It’s not a sermon about rules.
 It’s not even really about alcohol.

It’s about the gray.

Recently I was in Vegas celebrating friends who have been married for 30 years. It was beautiful — covenant, loyalty, legacy. We went to a concert, the music was loud, everyone was laughing… and the girls ordered drinks.

And I ordered one too.

Not out of rebellion.
 Not to get drunk.
 Not to run from God.

Just… one.

And honestly? I don’t even know why.

Maybe to fit in.
 Maybe because everyone else did.
 Maybe because I could.

The next morning, my husband asked me something that stopped me in my tracks.

He said,
 “How do you talk about Jesus in the morning and have a drink at night?”

And it wasn’t harsh.
 It wasn’t accusatory.

But it exposed something deeper.

Not sin necessarily.
 But tension.

And I’ve been sitting with that tension ever since.

Because here’s the truth:

The Christian life isn’t lived only in the obvious.
 It’s lived in the gray.

It’s lived in the moments where something isn’t clearly forbidden…
 but it also doesn’t feel completely settled.

It’s lived in the questions like:

• Is this freedom?
• Is this compromise?
• Is this conviction?
• Or is this condemnation?

And if we’re honest, every one of us has gray areas.

Maybe yours isn’t a drink in Vegas.
 Maybe it’s language.
 Entertainment.
 Relationships.
 Ambition.
 Social media.
 People pleasing.

But we all have places where we whisper,
 “Lord… is this okay?”

So today, we’re not going to shame.
 We’re not going to overcorrect.
 We’re not going to pretend.

We’re going to sit together — as sisters — in the gray.

Because growth doesn’t happen in pretending everything is black and white.

It happens in wrestling.

And sometimes the most spiritual thing you can do…

Is pause.

Reflect.

And ask,

“Jesus… who am I becoming?”

Let’s talk about it.

Prayer

Father,

Search us.

Not with condemnation, but with clarity.

Where we are free, let us walk wisely.
 Where we need boundaries, give us courage.
 Where we are people-pleasing, strengthen us.
 Where we are tender, protect us.

Make us consistent.
 Make us whole.
 Make us women who live the same in the light and in the dark.

We want our freedom to honor You.

In Jesus’ name,
 Amen.

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Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:01

Hey sisters. Today we're stepping out into something that isn't black and white. It's not a scandal. It's not a sermon about rules. It's not even really about alcohol. It's about the gray. Dear Lord Jesus, thank you for allowing me to do this today. We praise you and we thank you for all the glory and all the grace that you have given us, Lord Jesus. We pray that this podcast continues to grow and that it continues to touch the people that it's supposed to touch, Lord Jesus. We thank you for this opportunity. We thank you for today's story, today's lesson that came out of last week's vacation, Lord Jesus. We pray that it touches the world in the way it's supposed to, and that they hear your voice, not mine, Lord Jesus, and that they see that there is gray, and that it's you that is convicting us. In Lord Jesus' name we pray. Amen. So recently I was in Vegas celebrating friends who have been married for 30 years. You know, it was very beautiful. Like 30 years is unheard of nowadays. Uh we went to a concert and the music was loud and everyone was laughing and you know it was it was nostalgic. It was uh New Kids on the Block, um, which is, you know, was my boy band back when I was, you know, a teenager. Uh and the girls, they'd ordered a drink. So I ordered one too. I didn't think nothing of it. I just ordered one too. I didn't do it out of rebellion. I didn't do it out of getting drunk. Um, I didn't do it to run from God. I just ordered one. And honestly, I don't even really know why. Because the next day it makes my stomach upset. It doesn't, I don't feel great about it. I don't know, maybe I did it to fit in. Maybe because everyone else did. Maybe just because I could. I don't know. The next morning my husband asked me something that stopped me in my tracks. He said, How do you talk about Jesus in the morning and have a drink at night? And it wasn't in it wasn't harsh, and he wasn't being accusatory, you know, and my husband, you know, he has a strong sense of alcoholics and the way they act or the way they are when they're drunk. And he has very strong feelings against that. And so I know that's where this came from. But at the same time, it it it kind of hit me a little hard in the gut, you know. Um you know, it made me question, is is drinking alcohol a sin? You know, is you know, gossiping's a sin. Um using foul language is a sin. But all there's are those gray areas in religion or in in faith. So I've been sitting all week with this, and um because I I I didn't know. I don't know. I didn't know. So I started digging in. Because here's the truth the Christian life isn't lived only in the obvious, it's lived in the gray. It's lived in the moments where something isn't clearly forbidden, but it also doesn't feel completely settled. It's those little things that when you do it, you're like, I need to ask for forgiveness, right? It's those little things that the world has brought into us that, you know, especially coming from an area of being lost for so long, that sometimes I do things or I say things that puts me in the gray. It's lived in questions like, is this freedom? Is this compromise? Is this conviction or is this condemnation? And if we're being honest, every one of us has a gray area. You know, maybe it's not a drink in Vegas, maybe it's the language you use, maybe it's the entertainment you watch, the relationships that you have, the ambition that you have. Maybe it's the social media that you follow. Or maybe it's just people pleasing. But we all have places where we whisper, Lord, is this okay? So today we're not going to shame, we're not going to overcorrect, we're not even going to pretend. We're just going to sit together as family in the gray. Because growth doesn't happen in pretending. Everything is black and white. It happens in the wrestling. And the wrestling is spiritual. And sometimes the most spiritual things that you can do is take a step back, is reflect and ask, God, who am I becoming? So let's talk about it. Freedom is biblical. So, you know, the Bible absolutely talks about freedom. In Galatians 5, 1, it is for freedom that Christ has set us free. We're not safe by the rules, we're not sustained by performance, we're not even held by legalism. But just a few verses later, Paul talks about do not use your freedom as an opportunity for the flesh. And that's where the tension comes from. Is that why I've thought about it for so long? Is that why I woke up in the middle of the night um needing to write this podcast? Um, you know, freedom is real, but freedom must be governed by love. And for in Corinthians 10, 23, everything is permissible, but not everything is beneficial. So that verse hits different when when you're in a when you're grown in your faith, when you're trying to grow in your faith, or when you're grown in your faith. The question isn't can I? The question is should I? The question is, is it beneficial? Is it loving? Is it forming me into Christ? Or is it taking me two steps back? So let's talk about some gray areas. In Romans 14, Paul addressed disputable matters. Some believers felt free, others felt convicted. And Paul didn't scream, everyone stop. He says, don't judge each other. Don't flaunt your freedom. Don't violate your consequences, and don't cause someone else to stumble. He even says it something causes your brother to fall, it's better not to do it. So now the issue isn't the activity, it's the heart behind it. It's the witness in it, and it's the love that has it. And that's how you know you're mature in your in your faith walk. That's that's how you know that your growth in faith has took to the next level. And I don't know if that's what bothered me the most, is that at the moment I didn't it didn't bother me to order that drink. It didn't bother me to order a margarita. But then when it's brought to me in my face, when it's brought to me in front of me, it bothered me. And I don't know if it's because I've been noticing some flaws or some convictions inside of me of people pleasing that I never realized I had, or that it's because I've I want to be a part of something so bad that I'm willing to do whatever to be a part of it. I want to be a part of my Bible study. I want to help lead it and I want to help it grow. But that's not my place. I want to fit in and have girlfriends that I can call up and say, hey, hey, let's go eat Mexican. So is that why I ordered the drink? Because I wanted them to want to hang out with me outside of Vegas. I don't know. That's definitely something inside of me that I need to take with to Jesus and something that I just need to pray on and let him help me with. So hypocrisy versus humanity. When my husband asked that question, I had a moment where I thought, am I a hypocrite? But biblically, hypocrisy, those that word was hard, isn't struggling. Yes, is pretending to be holy while hiding rebellion. So wrestling, that's spiritual. Right? If you're wrestling with something, if you're struggling with something, if you're needing God's guidance, then that's spiritual. Bringing it into the light and talking about it freely and talking about it in this conversation, that's discipleship. That's what this podcast is about. It's to help me grow in my faith and hopefully to help someone else that needed to hear this. John 1 7. If we walk in the light, we have fellowship. The enemy says, hide that. Don't talk about that. That's embarrassing. You should be ashamed. The spirit says, bring it here. Let's talk about it. Let's share. If anything, the fact is that this bothered me, tells me I care. And carrying is evidence of transformation. So the fact that my husband asking me that question convicted me just a little, or convicted me at all, that made me think about it. That just means that my transformation is growing and that my spiritual life is growing. So let's define some things clearly. You know, there's a difference in conviction and condemnation. And conviction is specific, it's loving, it's going to draw you closer to God, and it produces clarity and peace. When condemnation is very vague, it's shaming, it pushes you away from God and it produces you to hide it because you feel guilt. Romans 8:1. There is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus. If you're spiraling in shame, that is not Holy Spirit. But if you're gently asking, Lord, what are you teaching me? That's growth. That's growth. And maybe it wasn't about a drink. Maybe it was about people pleasing, wanting to blend in, testing a boundary, or simply needing to examine why I said yes. That's the deeper work. You know, um, saying yes to one drink 15 years ago would have been devastating in my life. Because I don't know that I could have only said yes to one. Just a social drink. I don't know that I could have done that 15 years ago. And I did it. It was one margarita, and that was all I had. Which that was all we all had. We were not there to get drunk, and we were not there to to whatever, party or whatever. We were there to have a good time, yell and scream at the boys, you know, listen to some good music from when we were teenagers, uh, and have a good time. And that we did. But why did I say yes to something that I don't even enjoy? To something that I really don't care for. But yet when I'm among people that are doing it, it seems to be something that I do to fit in. Lord Jesus, I'm gonna pray today. I'm gonna pray right now. And I'm gonna ask you to help me with this. Help me. Why do I feel like I need to fit in? Why do I feel like I have to do things that everyone else around me is doing when all I really care about is you and where you have brought me from and where you have taken me to. And I want to I want to ask you today to take over, to guide my mouth to the yes, to guide my mouth to the why, to guide my heart and my soul, Lord Jesus. I give this to you in this moment. I lay it at your feet, Lord Jesus, and I ask you to help me. Help me understand the why and help me get past the why. Help me not to say cuss words sometimes, Lord Jesus, that just seem to flow so freely out of my mouth. Help me not to say yes to one drink just because everyone else is doing it. Lord Jesus, help me to be your light. Help me and guide me in Jesus' name. I pray, amen. Integrity means wholesome. The same shannon in the morning, it's the same shannon at night. I'm not perfect, but I am aligned. I do know in my heart that I am aligned with Jesus. And I do know that he is with me and he stands beside me, he holds my hand, he picks me up and carries me, and he has never left me. I know all of that. And sometimes God allows small intentions to refine bigger things. The real question isn't, is this allowed? It's does this reflect who I want to be becoming? Because your life tells a story, and the goal isn't perfection, it's consistency of heart. So saying yes to one drink, saying one cuss word, just because it flows out correctly, is that consistence of my heart? We are asking God today to take our hearts and to guide us. Before any gray area decision, you need to ask yourself some questions. And these are just practical questions. Would I do this if Jesus was physically sitting next to me? Would I have ordered a drink if that was Jesus sitting next to me? Is this forming Christ in me or feeding my flesh? Would I allow a cuss word to flow so easily if I wasn't feeding into some flesh, some some boundaries that are still there that I need to I need to find? Would this confuse someone who knows my testimony? Having a drink probably would confuse someone. Because it's definitely confused me. It definitely made my husband ask the question. And he knows my story better than anyone. Am I free to say no? Freedom that can't say no isn't freedom. So yes, I am free to say no. And I needed to say no. And going forward, I will say no. No fear. No fear. Because we've given it to God today, and God is gonna help us through it. So, family, you're not a hypocrite because you wrestle with things that you don't quite understand. You're not disqualified because you questioned yourself or because you questioned something you did. Growth feels uncomfortable, definitely. Oh my God. Refinement feels exposing, but God corrects those he loves. And the goal isn't behavior management, it's heart alignment. You have to align your heart with what God is telling you to do. The fact that you're even asking, that's growth, that's maturity, that is finding your way closer and closer to the Lord Jesus Christ. Here's a prayer for you. Dear Lord Jesus, I'm asking you today to search us, not with condemnation, but with clarity. Where we are free, let us walk wisely. Where we need boundaries, give us courage. Where we are people pleasing, strengthen us, and where we are tender, protect us. Make us consistent, make us whole. Make us men and women who live the same in the light and in the dark. We want our freedom to honor you, and we want to be deserving of the grace that you give us every day. In Jesus' name we pray. Amen. And this episode, if this episode met you, share it with someone who has wrestled quietly in the gray areas because faith isn't about pretending, it's about walking honestly with Jesus. And sometimes the most spiritual thing you can do is pause, reflect, and ask. Until next time, stay rooted in truth, walk boldly in your grace, and let your life tell the story of a consistent, surrendered heart. I love you guys. Until next week.