EP 22: How We’re Navigating the Shift to Becoming a Sports Family

In this solo episode, Julianne gets candid about a new chapter: becoming a sports family. From early days of resisting extracurriculars to finding a rhythm that includes both structured activities and unstructured outdoor play, she shares how her family is navigating this transition with intentionality.

This episode is packed with honest reflections, science-backed insight, and encouraging reminders that you don’t have to go “all in” to still be “in.” You can be a sports family and an outdoorsy one - and perhaps this episode will help you find your own balance.

Mentioned Resources: 

Book: Beyond Winning: Smart Parenting in a Toxic Sports Environment

Hatch Kids Night Light

Where you can find me: 

Show notes

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Transcript

Julianne Nienberg (00:00)

Welcome to the My Outdoorsy Mom podcast. I'm your host, Julianne Nienberg, mom of three, backyard adventure enthusiast, and your go-to gal for making memories outside with your kids. This is your space to ditch the pressure of perfect and embrace simple, soul-filling time in nature that fits real family life. Each week, we'll talk motherhood, nature play, travel, and entrepreneurship with honest stories, practical tips, and guest conversations that'll feel like chatting with a friend.

Whether you're raising wild little explorers or building a business during nap time, I see you. So grab your coffee, toss some snacks in your bag, and let's make some memories. This is the My Outdoorsy Mom podcast.

Julianne Nienberg (00:38)

At the time of this podcast, we are officially back in our school routine and I gotta say, it's going pretty smoothly. I have three kids in school full time and the fact that everyone is a little older means they can help out more and do more things for themselves in the morning. This is a whole new phase of parenting that I am, quite frankly, I'm on board for. It's also really funny to watch my kids' personalities and their birth order come to the forefront.

For example, my oldest is pretty reliable when it comes to waking up, getting dressed, and coming downstairs. She's been doing this for a while. She's put in the reps. My middle is a bear to wake up, and he's the one that would sleep until 10 a.m. every day if life allowed him. By the time we're a month into school, he's usually more settled into the routine. And my youngest has been the most pleasant surprise ever. He wakes up and meets me downstairs at the breakfast table.

Fully dressed in no less than 10 minutes from the time his hatched nightlight clock changes colors and plays this little birdie song, which we love those hatched nightlight sound machines. I've used them for all three of my kids. At night, the light is red, which I've heard is less disruptive for melatonin production than the bright white,

and then it turns green at whatever time I program it for in the morning, along with a new sound signaling that it's time to wake up, and they may also leave their room. With my kids back at school, I'm falling into this new morning routine of getting my kitchen and the main floor of my home back in order. My husband takes the kids to school, and I clean up the kitchen. And I must share this life hack I learned from Olivia.

the not so angry mom on Instagram and it's simply putting a load into the washer before going to bed and programming it for a delayed start in the morning. If your machine has that capability. So my washer will start a load at 5 a.m. and by the time the kids go off to school, it's washed and ready to be put in the dryer. I fold whatever's in the dryer, put it away upstairs and tidy my kids rooms. I know that might sound monotonous.

to some, but there is a comfort and steadiness that the routine brings me as I move from room to room. And I think it's because I also realize that this season of folding little clothes, of tucking them away in their dressers, making their beds and placing their little loveys on their bed exactly the way they like isn't going to last forever. So there's this beautiful paradox of celebrating their increased independence.

while also holding on to their littleness, which feels like a constant theme woven throughout motherhood. But I bet you didn't click on this podcast episode title to hear about my daily laundry routine. However, the topic of routine is top of mind because we've officially entered a new season, both literally and metaphorically, because not only are my kids all in school full time,

but we're also toeing the edge of something I never thought I'd say because it truly felt so far away from when I was in the trenches of having three kids under the age of three. We're becoming a sports family. Listen, I say this very loosely. We're not juggling club teams or traveling every weekend. Right now, my kids do swim, tennis, soccer, and an obstacle course training gym. Okay, I just said that out loud and

I realize now how that may seem like a lot, so it does truly feel like a shift. And today I'm gonna walk through how we're navigating this new chapter while also prioritizing the things that matter most to us, like free play, family time, outdoor exploration. A few years ago, I was a hard no on extracurriculars. I had a child who struggled with anxiety and would push back against any activity.

no matter how fun or how low pressure it was. Even when I knew they'd enjoy it, the emotional toll of dragging everyone out the door just wasn't worth it. So I let it go. No extra curriculars. And in that space, something really beautiful happened. Free play. That's it. And I began to see the fruit of living with this intentionality of protecting their time and holding space for them to play freely in the yard.

We weren't rushing off to a practice that surely someone would be complaining about. We were biking around the neighborhood. My kids were playing in their mud kitchen. They were climbing trees and wandering in the woods behind our house. Knowing they had built up the skills to play independently outside meant that I could clean up from the after school snack, get dinner on the table, wash some dishes, all while keeping an eye and ear on them from the kitchen window. I could be present.

without having to direct every minute of their play. So what's changed? Honestly, not much, yet everything at the same time. My kids are older, they've grown in confidence, and most importantly, they've shown interest in trying new things. My older two did swim team over the summer, and it was transformational, to say the least.

They learned how to show up for themselves and for their teammates, how to persevere through hard lessons. And that is the kind of character building and grit I can get behind. Plus, we live near water. Swim safety has always been a priority. So year-round swimming felt like a natural next step. We're trying squash. My middle goes to a weekly obstacle course training gym that he loves. And it's easy to see why.

Kids who are sensory seekers often love sports because these activities provide intense sensory input, proprioceptive and vestibular stimulation, which helps them feel more regulated and calm. Proprioceptive input refers to the body's ability to sense and be aware of its position and movement in space, while vestibular input relates to balance and spatial orientation.

which is primarily managed by the inner ear. So both of these systems work together to help coordinate movement and maintain stability. I once asked my son what it feels like when he swims and he said, it feels like I'm a silky ribbon in the water, which I thought was a really beautiful and poetic way to describe what must be this calming sensory input he's getting from the resistance of the water and the gliding motions of his body.

I think a lot of moms can relate when I say that this is a child who needs to move all the time.

In addition to providing that intense sensory input for some kids, studies show that grit, that magical combination of passion and perseverance does develop in kids who play sports, but only when they're allowed to struggle to try again and stay in it for the long haul. There is immense value in giving your kids a space to fail big time. It's through adversity and being in a place where our children experience some discomfort.

that sometimes learning, stretching, and growth comes from, most often times. Your child might lose the game or the race, but perhaps they saw improvement or gains in other places. In a 2020 study titled, Grit as Perseverance in Physical Activity Participation, the construct of grit is defined as including perseverance of effort, consistency of interest, goal attainment, and passion.

Another study done at the Ohio State University in 2022 found that children learn lessons while playing sports, which positively impacts them later on in life. The study also revealed that adults who played sports as a kid scored higher on a measurement of grit than those who didn't play at all or quit early on. So do sports produce grit? Well, then, yes, to some degree, they do. And that's a good thing. Sports are awesome. And youth sports is fun.

It should be fun. Sports are a great way to teach invaluable lessons. I saw that in my own kids this summer. So simply put, playing sports can build lifelong resilience, but not always. The other question then becomes, are we fostering grit or are we just adding to the overwhelm that then leads to burnout and loss of joy for the sport? Once you enter the sports arena, there is an undeniable pressure to go

all in and that pressure mounts up real fast. Once you say yes to a single sport, it's as if you've opened up the floodgates and it's easy to feel like if you don't keep up, your child will somehow be behind. But behind what exactly? In the book Beyond Winning by Kim John Payne and authors, research showed that 70 % of all kids quit organized sports entirely by the time they are 12.

That's not a small statistic. That's the majority. And why? Reports of burnout, pressure, loss of joy for the sport. I recently read a quote online that said, what's happened to youth sports is a slow erosion of the joy of the game in favor of adult agendas, performance, and hyper structure. Long gone are the days of seeing kids at the park playing pickup games of baseball or basketball or kickball.

And boy, that quote hits home, doesn't it? It's so easy to get caught up in the competitive culture, the pressure to specialize early, and the fear of our kids getting left behind. Here's another eye-opening statistic. Fewer than 1 % of high school athletes go on to accept D1 scholarships. Let that sink in. Fewer than 1%. It makes you wonder, are we pushing too hard, too fast?

Are we losing the sight of joy in the pursuit of performance? So with all that in mind, what are we protecting? What do we need to protect? And why does unstructured nature play still matter, especially in a sports season? Because there are lessons kids don't always get from competitive environments. Things like self-direction, intrinsic motivation, rest, and wonder.

These are the building blocks of resilient, creative, and grounded individuals. an online article from the Whole Child Sports said this, if we want to foster true athletic potential, it starts with free play, movement rooted in joy, not performance.

This isn't about being anti-sports. I love watching my kids swim. I love watching them play tennis. I love watching them play soccer. This is about being pro-childhood. It's about recognizing that a balanced childhood includes both structured activities and ample time for self-directed exploration. Mike Lanza, author of Play-ber-hood, Turn Your Neighborhood Into a Place for Play,

highlights a critical issue. said, kids are typically doing one of two things these days. They are either sitting in front of screens too much, up to eight hours a day on average, or they are being chauffeured around to highly structured adult led activities. There's the argument made in the book Beyond Winning that shares that putting kids in command oriented organized sports too early can choke off their potential for the creativity that makes a great athlete.

And this is why bringing back free play in a big way is so essential.

In the book Beyond Winning, authors state unstructured and semi-structured play, whether sports-based or not, are essential pathways through which our kids gain social, emotional, and cognitive development. A 2006 study by the American Academy of Pediatrics points out that free and unstructured play is healthy and in fact essential for helping children teach important social, emotional, and cognitive developmental milestones

as well as helping them manage stress and become resilient.

It feels like we are under so much pressure as parents to stimulate and engage our kids in every minute of their day. But what really, what they need the most is the time to have free play. Play that is unstructured, play that is child led. And in the book Beyond Winning, they actually recommend organized sports to begin at age 11 or 12. So what does this look like in real life?

What's the solution to navigating sports while still protecting childhood? And is there a better way to do this?

I will speak on our experience and for us it's all about anchoring our days to free play. My kids attend school outside of the home and when they get home they have anywhere between an hour to two and a half sometimes three hours of outdoor time before we head to practice or before we head to some activity and That's not every single school day and that window matters and I've learned to become really protective of that time.

Because it's when they are allowed to decompress. It's when they run, they roam, they dig, they climb, they bike, or they make up weird games or tree huts or fairy communities that only make sense to them. It's when they reconnect to nature and to themselves. Yes, my oldest needs to do homework, but that doesn't mean she's stuck at a desk. Some days we memorize scripture outside for five minutes.

Some days we do a math worksheet while she's sprawled out on the floor, or we do flashcards while she's snacking in the kitchen. I try to make it really flexible in a way that flows for our family. And most importantly, we try most days to get it done before we leave the house. Because here's the thing. And what I've learned through a lot of trial and error is that when we lead with connection,

curiosity, we protect the joy of learning and movement in our children. And when we make time, when we really make time for unstructured play, we're not sacrificing sports. We're actually making our children more resilient, more sustainable, more creative. So if you're standing at the edge of a sports chapter like we are, or maybe you're already knee-deep in it, I want to leave you with this.

You don't have to go all in to be in. You can say yes to some things and still preserve space for curiosity, for rest and slowness. You can be a sports family and an outdoorsy family. You can honor your kids' growth and their need to simply play. There's a better way. And it starts by remembering that childhood isn't a race.

Giving your kids room and space to play freely in a way that's child led without instruction from adults will serve them now in the immediate and for a lifetime and If you haven't read the book Beyond Winning smart parenting in a toxic sports environment. I highly recommend it It's an excellent read if you are a parent with children in sports if you are a coach or if you're preparing to enter the sports realm

They share 10 principles at the end to provide an ideal balance of active and educational play. And I will link the book in the show notes. So of course, I always leave you with an outdoorsy challenge. And this week, I challenge you to protect one pocket of time for outdoor free play, even if your evenings are booked solid. Maybe it's 20 minutes after school before soccer practice. Maybe it's taking it slow on the morning before a soccer game.

Skip the TVs, let them move their bodies, let them play, get them outside. Because the grit they're building on the field, matters, it does matter. But so does the joy they find in the backyard.

Julianne Nienberg (17:22)

Thanks so much for spending part of your day with me. I hope this episode left you feeling encouraged and inspired to get outside and enjoy nature wherever your feet are. If you loved what you heard, it would mean the world to me if you tap those five stars or leave a quick review. It helps other outdoorsy minded moms find the show and grow the sweet little community. And if you're looking for more ways to simplify, slow down, and connect through nature, you can find me over on Instagram at myoutdoorsymom, read the blog at myoutdoorsymom.com, or explore all my digital resources and seasonal guides in the shop.

Everything's linked right there in the show notes. Until next time, take a deep breath, step outside, and I'll meet you back here next week.