Degenerate Nation Podcast
Plug your headphones in and turn your soul volume down. The Degenerate Nation podcast harnesses a bizarre blend of pathos and perversity, social commentary, improv, and "interviews" with characters from the vast underbelly of our Degenerate Nation.. You're welcome.
Degenerate Nation Podcast
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Welcome to Generation Podcast!
SPEAKER_02This is take two of tonight's extra special podcast. Because, frankly, after 25 minutes, we just kind of ruined the last one. It was a real bummer. And tonight's not supposed to be a bummer because tonight is Andy's Bachelor Potty.
SPEAKER_01Mango iced tea from Arizona and eating some hour patch kids.
SPEAKER_02That's right, we're getting all hopped up on I got Whoppers and Mike and Ice and uh some LaCroix.
SPEAKER_01Still looking for a sponsor, huh? Getting drunk and uh Dude, I would eat just fucking mainline black licorice just to have a sponsor. Yeah, bro. I don't care. Pay me. I don't give a shit. You'd rather have over $20 on this podcast.
SPEAKER_02I would rather have somebody piss in my mouth. And not like a pretty girl doing it. Like a man.
SPEAKER_01I don't like black licorice. What if the piss tasted like black licorice? Would you be able to identify it via piss if someone recently How many hours would have to go by for you to no longer be able to identify uh urine byproduct of black licorice? I don't know how it breaks up, but like over over under eleven and a half hours.
SPEAKER_02Like you know when you eat kebabs and you pee it later and you're like, oh I definitely have kebabs. Or like you taste it in your mouth. You taste it in your mouth.
SPEAKER_01Sweat?
SPEAKER_02Yeah.
SPEAKER_01Like like upper sweat or like butt sweat, where you sweat. I don't know.
SPEAKER_02I'm asking is I'm I had Moby Dicks for lunch and then I went to the gym like hours later and I was like, oh shit, now I'm I'm I guess. Yeah, the schwitz, a schwitz or whatever.
SPEAKER_00But it is like that very distinct smell. Right, so like, but it also like I peed it out, like you know, you have a cup of coffee, you can smell that.
SPEAKER_01I love diuretics, man. We need more diuretics. If you're a diuretic company you like to sponsors, add degenerate nation. I think that's Star Anise. Don't get so close to Mike. Sorry, I lean forward a fart. Yeah. How should I start? No, you let it rip. The mic will probably pick it up. Oh, it's gonna pick it up, alright. It's gonna be a uh a hear and sniff episode, actually, hear and smell episode.
SPEAKER_02You smell you got in the car earlier. You farted like in the garage on the way into the car, but the clung to you. It's like you know what?
SPEAKER_01You know what you didn't do this, do it properly with this? Share it with another human. And it's like stay, some of it stayed up there. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's like, you know what? I'm a very selfless farter. You're right. But you're which color of the mic and ice would drown the scent better? Yellow, green, better, worse of the same. Well, I don't separate.
SPEAKER_02I separate them by color, I separate them by mics and ike's. Oh.
SPEAKER_01Wait, what? Wait, is one mic and one's ike? Yeah. Are there faces on them?
SPEAKER_02No. But they have an energy, a vibe to them.
SPEAKER_01Oh shit. I don't know. Is that a real thing? Can you show me?
SPEAKER_02I can, but it's not gonna make any sense to you.
SPEAKER_01Also, they're not paying us. Yeah, they're not hey Mike and Ike, start sending us money. But some are Mike's and some are I's more than $20. It's not color-based, but these ones are all Ike's. You know, 15 was it from what was that? Remember that coffee comedy that just then it completely is unsearchable now? Cup of coffee? What was it called? I don't know. Did we add read for it? Did we do we cause their bankruptcy? I hope so. Are we like one for one with like actual like sponsors? I mean, we've had like podcasts advertised with us, and God bless them. It's all the ones like by the way, anytime it says up for approval, never been approved. But when it's like when they're like, oh yeah, and it pops up right away and starts processing, like, got him. Well, remember we interviewed that that woman that one time? Oh yeah. Yeah.
SPEAKER_02She never talked to you again, right?
SPEAKER_01No, we were over two. There was some other one too. Remember? Or was that just me and her? Two was better. There was some dude that we talked to. Yeah, he was cool, the movie guy, right? Yeah, he was fine. That guy was fine. He was cool. Uh we just talked about movies. Like like, yeah. Uh yeah, what's his face? Stefana Raquel, right? There was a lot of Family Matters material in that one. It was a good one.
SPEAKER_02My youngest had been watching Family Matters. Like, she went through it all once and then was going through it again, and I'm like, no, no, no, you can't do it a second.
SPEAKER_01No second run. It was like, you're not, first off, not four in the 80s, where it's like, you just had to play the same tape. Like, yeah, 14 playing diehard. I'm like, I'll give you another show to watch, but it's like, no, no, no. You can't do it twice. And this is not the wire, this is family matters. Yeah, it just made me feel like a bad parent. You're like, wait, the first time I'm so happy. Wait, you're doing it's like you you have a parent. These shows are for people whose parents don't care.
SPEAKER_00Well, I had her start at like season three.
SPEAKER_01Oh, whatever. Where it's like, because season one, like so finding its footing because it was a Carl show. It was supposed to be a Carl show. Yeah. Actually, it was supposed to be on the wife and Carl Show. Yeah, it was a spin-off of Perfect Strangers of all things. And uh and uh It was in the Chicago verse and uh yeah and uh TJF. It was great. It's it's it's solid.
SPEAKER_02I mean it's a good show for a couple of seasons.
SPEAKER_01Oh, it's like it's like a zanyer version of Fresh Prince where it's like when they wanted to be what they could be, it was like master class. And then every other time it's like, oh, Urkel's up to his hijinks or Will's doing this. Yeah, you know, yeah, but those those extra special episodes are extra special episodes, you know. Dude, we should write one. An extra special episode of a I got it. Fresh prints? No, no, not like a spec script. I'm saying we needlessly write an entire season of a show, and except instead of the one, the extra special episode inverse. It's everything is like heavy, and then there's a zany one. Like, oh look, his clones here. Unexplained, zany. It's a presence day episode. Special presence day episode, right? Wouldn't it be amazing? Like, you know, reverse special episodes. Oh, well, if you do if you do music, you want to do all music, and then they're like, I thought there'd be more songs in this episode. You know, you want to go against like because that's they'll always talk about like people like shot on the fly episode Breaking Bad. But it was great. It was a probably the best bottle episode, right? Of a show, and it's just like they're still talking about it, so we would do whatever the versions for like great radio again of cop rock or whatever. You know, there was an actual it was like NYPD blue, but not as serious, and it had music. They were all singing cops. Great, that would really work now. Yeah. The body camera turned off on its own. Oh no, oh no, please don't fire me. You know, whatever, and then yeah, but then there's one special episode, no music. So whatever the gimmick is, invert it, bam. That's how you go viral, my friend. Have a non-school shooting episode once out of twelve. Everyone, everyone, everyone except every musical.
SPEAKER_00It's a show where every every episode is about school shooting. Yeah, except one, except one. See, you're laughing. It would work, it would work. Except one, you know, one's a musical with dinosaurs from the TV show dinosaurs.
SPEAKER_01So alright. So in this universe where the whole I guess, I guess the whole school district. Like, I don't know. There's 12 episodes for the season. Let's be clear. We're not gonna make British bullshit six six episodes. No, full arc, 12, cable, cable, cable. We're not we're not that ambitious of broadcast, well, we're 24 or whatever it was, 22. 26. It's down and down and down, and now it's 12, and there's 11 that are school shooters episodes. And then it's like, what is the other one? What would say I'd be like, oh, Luther, your turn. Obviously, wrote the other 11. What would you what do you got for us? And I write the musical episode? It could be musical, yeah. It's probably musical. Okay. Yeah, what is pitch it to me? I'm like, look, man, we they're like, hey, uh, we're gonna just rope in a new audience and then hang them with the next episode, clearly. But what what do we got here? You know what, maybe since I already pitched dinosaurs. Yeah. It's set in the dinosaur universe the whole time. Well, yeah, it'll it'll be dinosaurs.
SPEAKER_00It's like it turns out it was the school, it was dinosaur school shootings.
SPEAKER_04No.
SPEAKER_00Or it was a school shooting at the school from Glee. And and we bring back the surviving Glee cast, right?
SPEAKER_01Jane Lynch is like, oh. Yeah. Ryan Murphy is like, that's not out of the realm of possibility. The guy's a sadist. Yeah, right. Well, there's like the monster woman. There's like Columbine the musical. It's like a season-long Columbine, but there's a musical episode. Right? This, but you know what? It sounds just as stupid as the musical premise is. They did um their their sidebar, there's like um Slam Frank. That's a real it's like a play in New York. Why not? Why not? But so either it is a show that is like puppet people, but they're dinosaurs are puppet costume. What do you call those things? Those were real costumes, they were like foam or some shit. There was like uh little people in there, or like less little people, I don't know. Or were they a puppet opera? You couldn't see the strings, you couldn't see the strings.
SPEAKER_00It's a guy in a suit.
SPEAKER_01It was this whole time? Yeah. What about the baby? It was a guy in the suit. No, that was a that's a puppet. But it was not the mama, not the mama. Um, but that show ended dark too. They just killed it was like Yeah, he brought about he screwed up at the factory and yeah, he caused an environmental apocalypse and it was his fault, and they're like, oh and they just die. It's a great ending, it's a beautiful ending. It wasn't even asteroid, it was like man-made by dinosaurs. But I didn't watch it when it came out. Nobody did. Yeah, they like they they moved it around. Yeah. Yeah, that's why. So that's why they're like, fuck these people, fuck our audience, right? But we're gonna say fuck our audience in season one, because you built this audience authentically on school shooting episodes. Very comp very compelling material, and then it's like mmm, episode nine. We're gonna pull the curtain back.
SPEAKER_02So, what's the audience for this? Is it all school shooting like is it gonna be like a great white savior every time? What? Good guy with a gun? Who are is this is gonna be on CBS, I presume? Is it gonna be Tom Selleck? Is his mustache gonna stop bullets? It could be and fuck women.
SPEAKER_01It's like Tom Selleck could do it. He is very bitter about the cancellation of Blue Blood, so so maybe not CBS. Okay. Wait, is that who had uh whatchamacallit his show? The only reason he was famous? Magnum PI. And then he had a secondary career with Three Men and a Baby and stuff, but it was just Magnum PI, right? What else was he in? He's been always been on TV. He has? What was he in after that? He turned on Anya Jones, dude. The guy's got instincts of a school shit. Hey, if you planned it right the first time, you would have to do it ten other times. Um Magnum P.I. was a great show, though. Right, right. And it was probably on for a while, but I was like, you're like, yeah, no, he's always been on two. Wait a minute. Yeah, like he was gone, like for the 90s. Well, he did I can name two films of his Mr. Baseball. Mr. Baseball, yeah. And oh, sorry. Ha ha three minute maybe, and then the sequel, Three Minute Lady.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, and uh he was on Friends for a bit. He did that.
SPEAKER_01Okay, he was an R he did an ARC on a TV show. When he could have been Indiana Jones. He could have been Indiana Jones. It was insane. That would have been Harrison Ford will be building homes in the valley. Without just okay, he didn't turn down Star Wars, did he? Did he turn down that too? No. Okay. No, he was not right for Hunt Selma, okay? He was never right for Huntington. No, it was a scheduling thing with Tom Selleck, though. For uh Indian Jones?
SPEAKER_02Yeah, he had another movie that I already agreed to.
SPEAKER_01I don't remember. You you look in the history of that, it's brutal. It's like the level, it's like the the level consequence of a vast deference every time. It's like, oh, we're either having a baby or whatever.
SPEAKER_02It wouldn't have been as good. He wasn't right.
SPEAKER_01Indiana Jones? It wouldn't have been as successful with Tom Selleck. Why not? Because he's not Harrison Ford. Yeah, but he's I mean Spielberg was still doing it, right? And it was a Lucas story. It wouldn't have been the same. It would have been good. You saying if you had a body swap then, it would have been a it would have been a lot more believable for Tom Sell to do six days, seven nights. It was called Seven Nights, Six Days. Yes. Yeah, you're like, I think there you go, now you're on to something.
SPEAKER_02But Tom Selleck isn't he's got a different sort of handsome and ruggedness. Uh Harrison Ford is You believe that he would shoot first.
SPEAKER_01Yeah.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, he's he's more much more mischievous.
SPEAKER_01Well, it's true. Mustaches. Tom Selleck is playful, but not mischievous. Mustaches were big. And he had short shorts. I mean Magnum P.I.
SPEAKER_02that guy fucks. But it was the only thing. There's a reason why women fucking love Tom Selleck. Yeah, but that's a good show. There was one summer. Was there a special episode?
SPEAKER_01When you watched it, I watched the shit out of it. Did you have like a Magnum P.I. drug hay summer that I've never heard about? Because that'd be amazing.
SPEAKER_02No, no, it was before it was before when I got really stunned before getting really stunned. It was like seventh grade.
SPEAKER_01It was just on and you just had a fever one one week, and you're like, I watched like three seasons of Magna PI, man. I can't get out of this Magnum P.I. It was good. Cool cars shorts. Of course, it's Tiger's hat. But would Harrison Ford still have been just as good as Magnum P.I.? I haven't seen his body. I haven't seen his body. Yeah, but if you had a swap, like who else we swapping? I don't know.
SPEAKER_00How do we get on this?
SPEAKER_01We're talking about let's go back to talk about our show about school sheets. First, I'd like to give a quick plug. I for damn it, I forgot what the episode was. No, it was Lunchlady LinkedIn. And it was basically the premise that we got onto was that there was like first I was all about you know like those SNL skits where they're like the whole thing, it's you find out it's a White Castle commercial or whatever. Like that molestation thing with Dwayne and the Raj Johnson. A great fucking dark skit for SNL. And they finally the whole thing is like, oh, let's just go across the street to White Castle. Anyway, so we did that, but it was kind of like it wasn't inspired by that, but I noticed the simulation. Anyways, it's um like it was like it was like a Denny's like Grand Slam thing, and they only gave out it was like a lifetime 50% off. But to get it, you had to have been in four four shootings or more. And it was like this lunch lady that just happened to be a keep, like she's on a contract, and the school keeps getting shot down because it gets getting shut up. And by the fourth or fifth one, she's like, Oh, babies, I got you, and she's like locking up the fucking like closing that metal thing and hiding behind that. Anyway, so we've it was like I'm well versed in we can yes and this. We don't have to no butt this. So go ahead.
SPEAKER_02So we can no butt it, it's fine.
SPEAKER_01We sing it, we sing in a we sing in a song about this is like showing the like an inverted episode of like all special, no, and one silly, right? I think that could really work, at least online with like verticals and shit, right? Did you ever watch Glee?
SPEAKER_00No, it's terrible. It's fucking Ryan Murphy Point, somebody you have to like watching, and they're like, no, no, you gotta you gotta watch it. We started watching a couple episodes and the co-worker, I'm guessing.
SPEAKER_02There's the wheelchair kid, and then every once in a while he gets out of the chair to sing in like a dream sequence, and I was like, Oh, fuck this show.
SPEAKER_01That's ableist. Oh, it's like, oh, just like, yeah, at least when that's what really did it in Right. The fucking yeah, that guy. It's just like Roosevelt. You didn't even win the war, technically. Wait a second. You didn't drop that bomb, you know, and he wants to be not in the wheelchair in his statue. First off, you're you don't get to decide your own statue. Okay, we decide and we make it look very shitty because all statue makers are shitty because we don't have like Michelangelo, it's some guy making a statue of Magic Johnson at MSU that looks like fucking Morgan Freeman. It's like you look at it, you can look it up, it's like that is not Magic Johnson's face. They don't get faces right. So you're paying a few thousand bucks or whatever for not getting someone's face right, you know. I fuck the statue industry. I'm I'm we're gonna take down Big Statue. That's gotta go. But anyways, yeah, like the the wheelchair thing would make me mad too, because it's like, wait, the the whole thing is that he dreams about not being in a wheelchair, and you think this is appropriate for a musical school show? It's appropriate and no one gets shot?
SPEAKER_02You know, sometimes he's dancing in the chair and sometimes he's not.
SPEAKER_01Wait, show me how he dances in the chair. He just wheels around, you know. Show me on the doll. Show me on the doll where the you know, but wheelchair people go to dances. I'm not gonna rag on wheelchair people dance. They could definitely go to concerts and stuff now because no everyone's just like holding their phones up. They can do that. Well, not all of them, but most of them. Not the ones that they're doing the tube or whatever, or their mind control ones. I don't know. I'm doing my worst uh Stephen Hawking. Well, we'd be further along in that, by the way, if Stephen Hawking wasn't spending all his time on islands. Did he go to the islands? Oh, yeah. That's what it said. I don't know. We we have still not found the definitive source. This is islandfacts.net, okay? They're still working on it. No, they're not. But he definitely it's like, trust me, they are not No, they're not working on it. But like, but you imagine if he put all his energy instead into like if he thought these these uh social ills were solvable, like, if you can call not being able to walk a social ill, maybe I shouldn't have said that. But like, you know who would have said it? Ryan Murphy. But like, what if he's like, you know what? Fuck the universe. I'm just trying to fucking walk. And he like, could you think he would have figured it out?
unknownRight?
SPEAKER_02No, I don't think he was. I mean, I yeah I guess that he's really smart, but he's really smart in this one thing.
SPEAKER_01In one thing, like in a very Tism, like very single thing. Like, yeah, we all have our th if anyone's like uh I don't know if people uh ADHD or autism or something, or on that that like the special interest thing that it's a special interest spectrum, right? And it's like I don't know I like this, I like this. This is what the universe, but there's probably some guy out there that was just as smart as Stephen Hawking. Maybe he was in a chair too, maybe he does not talk like this, and he probably wants he lot probably likes one specific thing. He likes separating the colors of the Mike and I's or something, right? Sure. You know, but he's just as smart.
SPEAKER_02No, I don't think that makes sense.
SPEAKER_01You don't think so? I think that would be different.
SPEAKER_02Is there not more of a practical use for it? I think that that was a poor example that you chose. Yeah?
SPEAKER_01Because you lack Hawking or autistic Hawking's intelligence. I mean, there's wait, is there a non-autistic hawking? No, that's true. I mean, he was, right? I presume. Like he was well, because he was already interested in the universe before he couldn't walk. That's usually reserved for people that can't walk anymore. It's like, oh, I should probably like study a thing, like a fantasy thing. You know who I think is just kind of an asshole? Nails grass Dyson. Yeah, he's a prick. Yeah. Yeah. Because he's like, dude, no one cares. Like you've seen where I I care. It's just his way of explaining things. The biggest band in the world is still Food Fighters. The world is over, okay? Like, there's not we're we're not never gonna we're never gonna care as much as he's food fighters. They're not that great. They're fine. David Roll was lived on a reputation that was bullshit the whole time. Which was bullshit? That he wasn't a scumbag?
unknownRight?
SPEAKER_01Didn't he bang his daughter's friend? No.
unknownWhat?
SPEAKER_02Was it his daughter's friend? I don't know.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, I think so. She was like real young daughter's friend type of thing. Well guess what? Nirvana kinda sucks. Well, yeah. Well, bang is kind of a dick. Well, yeah. The band should just be done. Yeah, they're better than food fires, I'd say. I disagree, actually. Well, they're later work. I like one doesn't exist without the other. Yeah, sure. Yeah. But yeah, no, uh Neil Grass Tyson, it's just like he's He's an asshole. He's such an a he's kind of like an asshole in such an innocuous way that it maybe just go off on a shitty like tangent. I wish you should have you need to no button. We need a no-but the guy.
SPEAKER_02What's the guy the stop nerd? Uh uh he's the Canadian conservative guy who's like all neat things, and you have to yeah, that guy.
SPEAKER_01Neil deGrasse Tyson's like the the the astrophysics version of that guy, right?
SPEAKER_02But it's like the difference is like um the well the similar similarity is they they they both want to plow young women.
SPEAKER_01Young um Jordan Peterson, where are you getting this? How do you not know how did you not know about Dave Grohl, but you have to know about Dave Grohl, I didn't know it was a full first friend. You have the full dossier and Jordan Peterson's sexual sexual uh Well, I mean just look at the guy. Wait, is wait, hold on. It's like look, me getting getting the YouTube channels and stuff and having some notoriety from that and f famous from that was just a byproduct of me going to upper education just to sleep with my students. Did he do that? 100%. Why does anyone else become a professor?
SPEAKER_02What exactly that's what I'm saying.
SPEAKER_01Why would you ever do that? That's what I'm saying.
SPEAKER_05Hmm.
SPEAKER_01What do you think office hours are for? Oh no. Yeah, I went to office hours. And did you get fucked? No, I didn't.
unknownGosh.
SPEAKER_01Oh, my writing professor was it would have been perfect. Yeah. He was gentle. He would have been really gentle, man. He had like he had like a But you know what would have happened though? He was like the black guy in Boy Meets World that was in the one season that's from Swingers. He kind of was looked like that a little bit. And he was in Becker and uh Oh that guy Swingers specifically PCU. Do you have a motorcycle? Oh you mean the black guy? Mr. Turner.
SPEAKER_02Oh, yeah, yeah. I know a lot about Becker. That was another one. Ted Danson, man. That that he played kind of a dick for two of his shows, and then he got old and put on little cute glasses. Yeah. And then now he's a charming man.
SPEAKER_01And it's like, yeah, you left your wife for for fucking Whoopi Goldberg and did Blackface at an award ceremony. And it wasn't that long ago. It was a while ago. Yeah, but it was like I mean, first off, if it was after Yeah, I guess. But it was then he got with Mary Steinbergen and absolved the sins away. Can I want I would love to Steinbergen wash all my sins away. Like, what is the equivalent of Steinberg washing?
SPEAKER_02She was in a movie. She's amazing. She's a lovely. It's a pickleball movie with uh Oh, the dink?
SPEAKER_01Yeah. Was it good? It's fine. Fine. Nick Johnson's uh Jay Johnson? He's great. Oh, Nick was his character in the movie. He can carry a picture. Jake. Something jump. Jake.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, JJ. Chicago guy. I like him. Chicago boy. But you know, they plow in that movie. They don't actually plow. But they get rid of it.
SPEAKER_01Mary Steamberger, he plows Steamberger?
SPEAKER_02Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_01Clara? That's right. That's crazy as like as a kid, you're like, oh yeah, yeah. Well, she seems like kind of like the plain Jane, like she did, but you're like, do they just douse you're up? Because she's like really, really attractive. Like really attractive. Like really attractive. I wouldn't go really attractive. No, but she's very attractive, yeah. Definitely. Sure. I would. Yeah, no, I mean I'm not saying I wouldn't. But like, yeah, it's just like, where do we why do we selectively decide when blackface was okay to have to have done and not be canceled? Right? It's interesting. I yeah, I don't know. It's like why was it okay for any of them? Especially when they're like Jimmy Fallon or like Jimmy Kimmel or whatever, you know?
SPEAKER_02I I don't give a shit about this. I'm gonna know but this. I don't care. Do it, don't do it. It doesn't affect me.
SPEAKER_01I'm Ted Danson. I'm like, where do you go comedically about Ted Dancing if not that he did blackface and plowed uh Whoopi Goldberg? He had a whole thing.
SPEAKER_00Yeah.
SPEAKER_01Well Whoopi Goldberg could also get it. I'm just saying. You would fuck Whoopi Goldberg? You wouldn't have fucked Whoopi Goldberg? 90s. 90s Whoopi Goldberg? Dude, I don't care. She wasn't a ghost in that movie ghost, was she? What she got against Whoopi. You see the beginning of Sister Act? You're like, oh damn, Whoopi? Wait, when she's the lounge singer? Yeah, that's what I'm saying. I mean, my balls hadn't dropped yet, but I mean I don't think so. I'm just saying, it's not a big thing. No, I'm saying no. She's an egot. She's talented. I'm not fucking their talent. I don't have to fuck their talent, okay? I don't need to tree branch on someone else's uh credentials on their achievements. Is that a new word? That's when you try to go no, it's not a therapy word. It's it's a word for people who need therapy. I've never heard tree branching. It's social- it's like social climb. You're like trying to go from one branch to the other. That's what tree branching. Like a like a like an ape would.
SPEAKER_02You never heard. I don't understand the context. You're gonna how would you tree branch?
SPEAKER_01Okay, let me let me explain here. Men do not give a shit to the degree that women do about people's perceived achievements or status. They will we'll straight up fuck a cute uh shopping cart pusher and like, wow, she did that, she did that with a smile on her face. What else will she do with a smile on her face? I want peace. There's no no reasons behind that, but what is explain the reasons behind that?
SPEAKER_02Well, no, because then you're gonna start talking about the damn WNB. I promise I'm not gonna talk about it. You're gonna get into whole things.
SPEAKER_01I got nobody so hard on that.
SPEAKER_02You're gonna get the whole thing we last time where you got the whole thing about women and chopping them up and putting them in drawers.
SPEAKER_01I did not deserve nothing but what we give to them. I did not say drawers. Like that was pretty good. That was yes ending. Yes, you did say it.
SPEAKER_00You're gonna end up in a drawer, you bitch. That's how we ended the last episode.
SPEAKER_01You're gonna end up in a drawer, you bitch. Yes, that's what you said. Um, and like Tree Ran, it's like where you're going on someone else, is like your social status in your mind gets raised by go latching on to someone else.
SPEAKER_02So any relationship could not work out. I don't latch if you get with one that doesn't work out but but affords you financial stability stability or independence in an era where that was difficult to achieve.
SPEAKER_01Is that difficult now? Yeah, comparably with OnlyFans.
SPEAKER_02Like, first off, it's the market is saturated. Jot that down. Not everyone's a star. Yeah, obviously. There's some that are making it, and there's some that are just rape and buy. Did it buy? You know, feet should be. Should I not do it?
SPEAKER_01No, you should do it. You just have to have the right feet and the right time. It's the right feet at the right time, okay? But you know, you but there's there's expenses with that. What are the expenses with? You gotta well, you gotta buy all the cakes and pies that you gotta smoosh with your little pig feet. You've looked into this. The pig feet. Let's little piggy pigs and pies. Yeah, that's right. If they were better at starting businesses, they would know that you get a local bakery to make all the pies. But I'm stepping in right now, and you ASMR it too. You'd be like, they don't want a partner.
SPEAKER_04I'm stepping in a peach cobbler made by your treats by Teresa.
SPEAKER_01Your spiritual apparently I can't see. A piece are popping on the mic. See, he's not good at it. You can't wait. You try. No, don't narrate my feet. I'm not gonna do that. Inspire me. I'm I'm gonna be inspired. I don't want to. Pretend I'm I'm stepping on what? What am I doing? I'm gonna know but this as well. I see, this is better. You can know, but because it's like I can go off at anything. You're it's your responsibility.
SPEAKER_02I know I'm I know I'm driving this bus from behind.
SPEAKER_01You need to, though, man.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, because you're gonna steer it into a building or pedestrians every time. Or you're just gonna start talking about like this went to the college.
SPEAKER_03Okay, here. I remember that one time I hooked up with a girl in 2007. Let's talk about that for 25 minutes. Yeah, that happened.
SPEAKER_02That happened an hour ago. We canceled it. It got 25 minutes. It was like this point. Yeah, we're 29 minutes in. That's about how far we were. No, I looked. We were 26 minutes in, and I went, This is so depressing. You had arguing with a girl who gave you a blowjob, 19 minutes. Why are you bringing it up?
SPEAKER_00You said we're gonna bring it up. I said we're not gonna bring it up, but I'm bringing it up. Because she's dead. Yes, and rest in peace, Dolly Parton.
SPEAKER_01Ask me about my my wedding coming up, my marriage. So you're getting married. You're getting married, you're gonna go someplace, and yeah, she's gonna marry you.
SPEAKER_02No one's invited to it's a secret because she wants to do it in private.
SPEAKER_01She's jammed me. Yeah, she should be. Like I said, she didn't tree branch at all. She fell all the way down the tree, and on the You just happened to be there, yeah. It's like how Newton discovered gravity, but it's your own social gravity. So an apple. Oh, huh. Just like I fell on her head, basically. Like, oh, he is my husband now. Her life was going downhill and on the slide. Sheep. It's like you were at the bottom. I took down a shoot. It's like the pit in Bane, like Bane, or like the pit drops Batman. You were just down there, and like she's like, I'm never gonna get out of this hole. And you're like, oh hey, welcome to the hole. Stop seeing it as a hole. It's a pit of opportunity. Oh, that was pretty good. Yeah, see, that was how you that's how you steer. Yeah, you steer into fertile ground, you know. I mean, that's yeah, it's gonna be great, dude. It's great. Yeah, new management. Like, it's the the management comes official. It's like when you're married, right? When you get the ring, the ring fits. Yeah, she legally will own you now. Yeah. That's good. That's how it works. Oh shit. Yeah. I already signed the agreement to do it. Yeah. What am I gonna do? Back out? No. No, no, no. There's not a better opportunity out there for you. This is it, but this is it. Yeah. Do you think I see I surveyed the landscape, right? Yeah. I uh I maxed out. It's great. Yeah. See, because like I feel like a lot of people that are relatively happy have maxed out. But I know, I know beyond the shadow of a doubt that I did it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And that's great. And that's why it's just like, okay, make fun of me, it's fine. Like, I don't care. Right. Right. It's just like, yeah, well, I I won, so it's fine. Like I said, I'm like, I win. What happened? Oh, I won. It's like I win. Right.
SPEAKER_00Well, that was the other thing we were talking about in our previous version of this podcast. That's you've won and it's now justified all other actions that you've ever taken. They must have been right. Because I won. No, I've no, I'm not going back down this depressing. No, no, this is the thing. No, so I didn't think it's a good question.
SPEAKER_02Since I'm not a question, since you don't have a wedding now, and uh I have a wedding, you're just not going.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, exactly. Yeah. No one's going though. Sure. That doesn't make it better. Yes, it does. It doesn't. Why? You would think it does, but it doesn't. Why does it make sense?
SPEAKER_02Well, I just in my mind it doesn't it doesn't exist. It doesn't exist.
SPEAKER_01I didn't see it. Oh, do you want like like a live stream or something? Why don't we get you why don't we put a pictures in a viewfinder for you? They make those, right? Yeah. I mean, it's your life and you can do whatever you want, but it's just, you know. I did. I get it. I will. I get it. I know. I mean, everyone's everyone's having marriage. Like, I've I you know how many weddings I've been to where I haven't seen the person that got married afterwards more than like twice? And a lot of them were family members.
SPEAKER_02I do plan on seeing you're gonna see me.
SPEAKER_01Well, that's good. Yeah. But I'm saying it's like where it's like you give a mouse a cookie, like if you invite three of these people, you gotta invite these people, and then if these people, these people. So we're just like, well, either you know. I couldn't afford it. I also didn't want to. I'm not like I'm a very loud person, as you know, but I'm not like a showy about my like personal life. Right. I don't think. I mean, unless I get down a story and then I put my foot in my mouth. Shout out to Wendy for getting me this shirt. So they're like a cat charity or something. They were in need, and now they're in less in need, I guess, because I have the shirt. I don't know. How do you s how do you solve diabetes if you're a cat? A bathtub full of water. What? Like to drown them? Oh no.
unknownI don't know.
SPEAKER_01Oh, that sounded like a cat, too. Yeah, that was a cat. That was me drowning a cat. Did you get it in the bathtub? Oh yeah, no, then I started laughing and it drowned like a drowning. Yeah. That's it. Another test? Yeah. It's a solution. It's not the solution. It's the final solution. The final cat solution. Yeah. Meow meow. But isn't it crazy that they get people diseases and they get their own special version of AIDS? They call you feline AIDS? That's what if that crossed over? We were fucked if it crosses over. All it takes is what one person has to fuck a cat?
SPEAKER_02I know someone who's really into cats and runs a cat organization. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_01Probably them.
SPEAKER_02They they had a lot of cat problems, and they were discussing the cat problems, and one of the cat problems was feline AIDS. Oh. And full blown AIDS, not feline HIV, full-blown feline AIDS. And um and and someone else was asking. Someone else asked. Sorry, Kiko. Someone was asking how God, that's funny.
SPEAKER_03How do they get feline AIDS? Oh my god. And I said, from pussy.
SPEAKER_01Someone just like at the cat cafe. And they were gonna adopt and they decided not to. They decided you made them shop and it wasn't no no, it was it's not with gen gen pop. It was not with gen. I don't I don't make those. I don't make I don't mix with gen pop. I only look at the AIDS cats. Well, no, no, no. I just let me say their final moments. I got an above-ground pool in my truck right now.
SPEAKER_02I'm not gonna make getting uh I'm not gonna make an AIDS pussy joke from in front of others.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, it's like a selective I at least have to know you a little bit. It's for the Friday crowd, you know. Yeah, you get on that vehicle, you're like, I built that bridge, I say what I want about AIDS. I do what I want about yeah, feline. Yeah, you know, you do what you do. But yeah, like have they just have they just thought it was, you know, maybe it's a lifestyle issue. Meow, meow, meow. There's like a cat that's like, well, if maybe if you didn't meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, and they're like, well, but that's what I was born to meow, meow, meow, meow. And they're like, well, I was born to meow meow meow meow. And then they just they all get AIDS, right? That's what cat the musical Cats is about, right? Is it about that? I know the James Corden movie was about AIDS.
unknownYeah.
SPEAKER_02There's AIDS in the movie.
SPEAKER_01In cat? Right? Isn't it is it an allegory? Is it cat like AIDS? Is it basically but it was like it's not it's an allegory for AIDS, but it's a cat, a movie with cats about cat AIDS and their songs, right? But it's not about human AIDS, it's about cat AIDS. No, I think it's about human I mean, if anything, we're still catching up in the awareness to feline AIDS.
SPEAKER_02Okay.
SPEAKER_01I think we're all caught up. Are we?
SPEAKER_02Yeah.
SPEAKER_01Why, because we know about it? Who else needs to know? The government. Look, man, we need a Fauci took the fifth, okay? Alright? Uh-huh. He knew he knew about he knew about feline AIDS, okay? Yeah. I'm not look, I'm not a conspiracy guy. I'm not saying Fauci made feline eights, but did he know about it? When did he know about it? Fifth! He's like, Fifth. I don't know. I can't say fifth. And there's a guy, there's like a cat reporter for the cat times like.
SPEAKER_00Which is surprising that it didn't.
SPEAKER_01Didn't he realize that you can just say whatever the fuck you want to Congress and these committees? How guilty can you possibly be when you yeah, everyone else is trading like secrets on Calci and Polymarket? Or please sponsor us. Or they're just straight up just making shit up. Right. Or just like, well, I don't know. He wanted he he needed to be perceived as righteous by a certain crowd instead of just being a degenerate. It's like, look, you already the effect is already here. Just own it. If you did something, own it. And if you did something, maybe you probably did, don't make it look like it's way worse than you did by going fifth. Oh, um, I'm gonna not say anything about it. Like Rafael Palmera was more convincing. Uh and the like the baseball thing. And first off, why are we why did we ever do we have nothing going in the 90s that we're like, yeah, we should legislate baseball? Like we had it was the same time there started being school shootings, and it was like a year before 9-11. We're like what about this baseball? I don't know. I think the ball's juiced, the men are juiced. Um, can I get juiced? Yes? Well, everyone's juiced now. Oh yeah, the maxing or whatever? When I say HRT, you see all those like old 50 plus year old celebrities with the giant noses? They're like, when that guy gets a giant witch adjust your nose? He's like Bradley Cooper, and you were talking about Dak Shepherd earlier. That guy turned into a fucking mutant. I uh no, we were talking about Dak Shepard? We're talking about what's his face, somebody's brother. Somebody made a joke about somebody's brother.
SPEAKER_00Have you seen him looks like a mutant? Dak Shepherd?
SPEAKER_01You mean a guy that talks about on his show about alcoholism got addicted to peptides? Oh, shocker.
unknownSure.
SPEAKER_01You mean maybe it wasn't the alcohol, maybe you just have a personality type of thing. I don't know. I don't know. I've never done peptides. Maybe they're amazing. Should I do peptides? You probably should. If you have a personal experience of peptides, please email DegenerateNationation at gmail.com. Is it peptides? Peptides, yeah. What what did you thought it was? HRT. What's HRT? H no. HGH? No, no. HGH.
SPEAKER_02What is H R T HRT is human hormone replacement therapy. That's trans is stuff. Oh.
SPEAKER_01I am a woman. I'm gonna be a woman now. I'm Bradley Cooper. I won an Oscar, I want to win an Oscar as a woman. Sorry. Apologies for the loud I am Bradley Cooper, and I want to win an Oscar as a woman because this bores me. It's it's on it's on easy mode. I need to be a w and I need to be a woman. It needs to be harder for me.
SPEAKER_02Well, Eddie Redmane already won it for being a woman. It's fine.
SPEAKER_01No, but that was basically the crying game, right?
unknownYeah.
SPEAKER_01So I guess Hillary's one won as a man. No, but he wants the crying game? No, but he's if uh Hillary Swank? Yeah, she was in that game. No, she was Boys Don't Cry. Hey, but that was close, dude. Yeah. That's a good poll.
SPEAKER_02The crying game inspired inspired by Would Hillary Swank as Boys Don't Cry beat up Ed Eddie Redmane as the Danish girl if they got in a fight? Oh, who wins? Before she had training for million dollar bands.
SPEAKER_01Promo code gender swap. Gender swap fights or whatever. Um who would win? Yeah, Eddie Redmane's pretty small. I'm first off, I'm going swank. What does does Redmane have a gun? I didn't get a gun. Did he get a gun? Did Redman does Redmane get a gun? That's true. But I did specify. Can you use his wheelchair with the power thing? Before the boxing movie.
SPEAKER_02He can put it do the the new karate kid. She was karate kid three or whatever. Frankly, best karate kid.
SPEAKER_00I know I'm in a minority here, but that's the best karate kid.
SPEAKER_01Right, because she's an actual, like a really good actor, right? So she made it work. I mean, Daniels sounds fine. Yeah, Mel uh, what's his face is really good. And the Johnny Lawrence guy. I mean, that would that dude's the best guy. Billy Zabka. That guy, that guy should have been in everything, right?
SPEAKER_02He was in a number of things.
SPEAKER_01He wasn't the 80s bad guy. Then like they should have made him a good guy sooner. Oh, in a show or something? See it, but like they should have made him well, you know he should have been in the Jones. Fuck Tom Stuff to Belly Zabka is like they just suddenly replaced what if they Shiloh boofed him earlier, like in the in the mid-90s, they came out with dude.
SPEAKER_02What, Shiloh Boof? Yeah, do you think if he doesn't burn out and like you know something? I don't know what happened.
SPEAKER_01I don't know what happens with some diddle diddle action and these and these child actors. I'm gonna no butt the diddling and the child of the child actor variety's got talent and the alcoholic father variety in the dude. He's so he's like the most talented.
SPEAKER_02Right. Right? Yeah. But he's like he's a bit out to lunch. But he's so talented.
SPEAKER_01Well, I mean it's like you can't do a couple things. You can't do a bunch of things, right? Well, it's Sean Penn somebody, right?
SPEAKER_02It would be cool if these people who are a bit off could pretend to be a stable person for like a lot of people. But why do they have to why do they have to pretend instead of just pretending to be other characters, but they should pretend for a living. I'm gonna be clear.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, yeah, but they I mean you mean like in society? Like they should you would say would you think better if there was like an island they could go to? Where they could maybe bring girls to? Maybe girls, maybe maybe women, but probably maybe girls. Definitely girls.
SPEAKER_02We could be boys. Could they maybe do some dentistry? Probably dentistry.
SPEAKER_01Amateur dentistry? Yeah, man. Maybe we could film it all. See, the real method most method acting uh trainings takes place on an island. That's really where the best of them. That's you know what's where the drama schools really are. Not Juilliard, Juilliard's in New York, and there's like the London whatever school of like British actors, but the real ones? Where's the SEC conference of acting? Right? It's probably on some fucking island.
SPEAKER_02Yeah.
SPEAKER_01And they're like, anything goes, no consequences. Right. Like, and scene, and they're just like doing the most degenerate shit. And then they then they show up on a movie, you're like, wow, what a talent out of nowhere. Like, that's what you think. We groomed them on an island by grooming others. Yeah. We groomed their talent by grooming, like, there's so much. We groomed the maids, kids, and like all sorts of cool shit like that.
SPEAKER_02Can I no butt the rest of the uh Einstein, Epstein, Einstein, Epstein?
SPEAKER_01Einstein Epstein Island is great. Let's go, let's go out of that. It's just like an island with just like a bunch of guys thinking about cool shit.
SPEAKER_02Yeah.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, let's do that.
SPEAKER_02Did he marry a cousin? He married a cousin, also. No, no, he married a that was uh No, he did, I think. Mark Twain. Who married their young cousin? There's been a lot of dudes who married a young cousin.
SPEAKER_01Jerry Lou Lewis, did he marry? Did he put a ring? Did he ever put a ring on that girl? I don't know.
SPEAKER_02He might have put a ring on it, but it we wouldn't have to be a little bit more than a chance.
SPEAKER_01I mean, the thing is that it's easier as a man if you're also she was tree branching. That that child was tree branching, pre-branching. I think she was actively climbing a tree in her. Childhood because she was a child. He's like, and he snaps. And Jerry Lee had a pretty face. That's the same person, right? Yeah. Jerry Lee. No, it was not Jerry Lee Lewis. It was uh damn it, the other guy. Richard Dreyfus. No, it was Richard Dreyfus.
SPEAKER_00Yeah. It was he was her opus. Remember Mr. Holland's opus? Dude, yeah, didn't he groom his own? That was another one. Yeah, he banged.
SPEAKER_01Was that based on a real story? Oh my god, that was a real Richard Dreyfus does have a deaf child. And he did in real life?
unknownNo.
SPEAKER_01Oh my god. He had like he's like a crazy guy.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, and then he was sign languaging and did the deaf talk and he said, I fucked your girlfriend.
SPEAKER_01He said that? Yeah in the movie. Yeah. Oh yeah. He was mad that his stepson fucked a student that he wanted to fuck that he chased off. He sent her on a bus because he couldn't fuck her, right?
SPEAKER_02He beat his son and gave and gave him deafness.
SPEAKER_01He beat him into it? Yeah. I drink you. There will be opus. Yeah, that's right. We need to do more mashups. Yeah, that needs to happen. See, that's the thing, is like if only we could start. Here's what we this would be a great use for if if if if generative AI runs away with things, I mean it's not going to entirely, but there's always going to be an avenue for that type of stuff. Like the slop thing where you just prompt, and then it might look really cool, but it's going to look like a computer made most of it, right? It doesn't matter. We're fucked with AI. I think we are going to talk about AI.
SPEAKER_02So no, I mean I have a question. The only thing is eventually bec unless we give AI uh We already passed the Skynet day, right? No, no. Well, yes, but the the thing with they they can't self-replicate. They can't build the drones yet. They can operate, they can take advantage of the drone swarms, but eventually they'll run out of the drones.
SPEAKER_01They can't clone the drones, they'll all be dead. Can they drone the clones? They can yeah. Can they drone the clone drones? The clone drone. Chrome drones. Can you bone a clone drone? You could, yes. Can you take it? Can you bone a clone drone in your own home? In the zone, yeah. Uh no, I was a bit like on the phone. No, it was like, you know, it's just like this is a it's an interesting question. It's not like a shitting on the thing. It's like where it was like, well, what if like our idea like this? What if in like five minutes or less, we'll be like, as a tack onto our episode, like, oh, by the way, here's here's the 11 crappy episode, here's 11 serious school shooting, here's the musical one. Yeah. And like to visualize that, like, I get that. And here makes sense. And here's Temple of Doom with Tom Selleck. Yeah, that probably already out there. Temple of Poon with Tom Selleck. With Billy Zebka.
SPEAKER_00Billy Zebka's short round.
SPEAKER_01No, who know who who like you could flop you flip-flop a uh a short round with someone else. Who would who would you like Anthony Michael Hall with short round? Or like, no, the guy from the guy from fucking 16 candles while we're at it.
SPEAKER_00Oh, I was thinking tattoo from uh uh oh, but he's like a little person or whatever.
SPEAKER_01Dwarf, dwarf. Yeah. Dwarf's fine, right? They're playing, they're playing. The dwarfs, yeah, dwarfs, it's dwarf, a little person or dwarf, right? Or whatever the fuck Peter Dinklage says. Dude, what is up with that guy getting all the roles? He's the only one. No, but he's still first off, he gate he used gatekeeping all the dwarf roles. He's like, you know what? Dwarfism or seven dwarfs, this is insulting. And it's like, you know what else is insulting? Just because you're above it doesn't mean someone else doesn't want to get a break and playing grumpy, and they kill it, and then they get then they compete with you. He's squashing competition. He's closing the door behind him, and then he's in a movie where he's a love indus or Marissa Tome. It's like, what in the same universe? Is this Marissa Tomei in the Seinfilm universe where she went out with George? Because then I could see it. But like, you're talking about Marissa fucking Tomei? Is that's a love interest? Is is this guy? This pretentious dwarf. Yes, he's pretentious. He's incredible to compare that with Willow of Uffgood. Not pretentious at all. Uh, what's his face? Warwick Davis. Exactly. Warwick Davis is amazing. He's the best, right? And yes, do I only know a few by name? Sure. But we have yet to have a dwarf president, okay? And we will. It'll probably be fucking Peter Dinklage, but we will have one. We do I would vote for Peter Dinklage over a woman, maybe. Depends on the woman. Depends on the woman. What if it was a woman dwarf? And my only choices were woman dwarf or Peter Dinklage. I don't think he'd let another dwarf be his VP. And it's just like, we're not ready for that, but really he doesn't want he doesn't want he hates dwarfs. He hates them. Well, they'd have to be shorter than him. Right. Absolutely. Yeah. He's like trying to he's like or or a woman. Yeah. Same thing. So he could be shorter than him. Shorter, yeah. Like, what if what if there was Dignity? What if there was a a trans person in the WNBA, but it was a dwarf. They'd have to be so good. What if they'd be um what if they're amazing? And what if it like reframe what if it broke people's brains so much that they just didn't know what to do anymore? And what if it dissolved what if the simulation just entirely melted? It's just like you're burning a Kincaid painting and just the colors just bleed out into nothingness. And it was a void the whole time. And I'm getting married soon, it's gonna be great. It's pretty awesome. Yeah, what do you what do you this is what I'm like? Honeymoon talk. Honey, what do you think? We're not going anywhere yet, but we're going to. I can save up these questions for like a plane ride, preferably a long plane ride. What should I ask? What do you ask? You just have to write them down though, and just go through them. How should I do it? Should I deliver them as letters? Like real romantic, like? Should I get like some type of bird to deliver them?
SPEAKER_03Birds probably are the most romantic.
SPEAKER_01It's really romantic. And we're on the first floor, so they could find it pretty easily. It just like smashed in the window and then you pick the envelope.
SPEAKER_02Dubs, yeah, just hundreds of.
SPEAKER_01And you've seen our fucking, yeah, you've seen our fucking uh window. It's like that's probably what happened. Bird probably smashed into it. Just please fix your. Look, okay, oh let me have a question. I have a question for you. Or wives or my almost wife, your wives, not listening at the moment. Probably not ever. So I have a question for you. When you know that your timeline or your idea is correct, at what point, when do when when do you fight for the things? And when do you be like, huh, well, this outcome's not gonna make this problem go away, or like, or whatever, this communication thing. When you know that, like, oh, I'm probably right on this, or like this would be helpful, but also it's causing it's causing a stress in them, or they're gonna be like worried about it. It's like when do you be like, mm, when you fix the window, or when you lean on the outcome, or whatever, and when you be like, no worries. So if that's a good question that people would want to know in Laos and and uh Jakarta and stuff, right? You can ask women questions. Women are allowed to answer questions there, right? I'm pretty sure. Different places, different uh I think so.
SPEAKER_02They're malaise, is that right?
SPEAKER_01Malays. Um Indonesia, right? Yeah, that's pretty good. Um pretty good. Pretty good place. Right?
SPEAKER_02There's you gotta there there's there's um you don't wanna have resentments. Yeah, you don't and and those things that are left unsaid that you continue to feel again. Like if you're oh yeah, if it goes away, you feel it in a moment, you think it in a moment. Oh, because I don't resent it at all. And it goes and it goes away, yeah, then then let it go away, right? Not every thought needs to be expected.
SPEAKER_01Or like you're banking one or two things, and you're like, if they fill the bank up, then you bring up that first thing. I don't know what that means. Don't do that. What that doesn't sound like a good I mean you're at this point we can call it a successful marriage. What uh what again, whatever happens, it's a successful marriage.
SPEAKER_05Yeah.
SPEAKER_01You've reproduced, you got a lovely home, you got a wonderful family, lovely wife, wonderful. She's wonderful, wonderful wonderful.
SPEAKER_02Um but you know, you gotta you gotta tell me how not to lose. Well tell me when do you want to win or do you want to be happy? That is winning.
SPEAKER_01Spoiler, being peace being at peace is winning. Yeah, you're on the same team, yeah. So you can't beat her. Right. It's a different thing entirely, right? It's like when we would play on the same team and something like, wow, this is really fun. But it's like it's not a challenge, right? But then, but at least for the relationship, it's like, does it have to always feel challenging? What if I just enjoy this like piece or this win or this moment, right?
SPEAKER_02And I have been, and it's completely reframed like everything else, because I'm like, But you have in your mind right now, you have some timetable or something that you think is right and and the and there's a delay or something like that.
SPEAKER_01Oh no, I just if I notice it, but uh it's a thing that's like, oh yeah, we should probably take care of that, but I'm like, what is this we thing? Like, if it's something I could definitely take care of myself, I'd be like, hey, I want to do this, and they or you just do it, see what happens. Do you ever do that? Like you do a fix a thing or do a thing, and they're like, nice, or like, that was not a good idea. It's like I haven't really stepped in it yet to a degree, but it's also like, I will, I'm some point, so how do you what do you what do you do when you step in it? And when it's like when it's your fault, I mean I assume you just be like, yeah, I that was my bad. My bad, bro. Well, I fuck up all the time. Like a lot. Do you ever like do it on purpose? Because it's like, well, I gotta throw them off the scent. Because if I'm always if I think I'm always right, even if I usually am, do I just do it? Is there any like you toss in some learned your version of learned helplessness or whatever? It's just fascinating because it's like every relationship is obviously different. You know? I'm trying to think back.
SPEAKER_02I mean, what do I what I do now is when did I ever message it? Generally I realize I'm wrong faster now, or I realize I'm I'm I'm quicker to I might you know be upset walking down the stairs, being like, I'm right, and you know, and I know I'm right. And by the I don't think I make it all the way to the bottom before I go, yeah, but she's right also.
SPEAKER_01It's like there's a perspective that also exists that she's close enough to being right that this is a loss if I take this on. But then but then it's then it's you know how do you make sure it doesn't fester?
SPEAKER_02From the bottom of the steps to the couch, it's to the window No, but it's like okay, but what is what's what's actually going on? What are we doing?
SPEAKER_01What is the goal here?
SPEAKER_02Yeah, well it's like what am I what am I hurt about? What have what am I what is my ego playing?
SPEAKER_01What is it that I I'm actually feeling or thinking that's like in my long term and like forward trajective, trajective, trajectory, trajectory and injective? Well no, it's trajective. I'm married now, I don't have time for the words, regular words, or I'm almost married. Yeah. Trajective. What is a trajective that you're trying to to get yourself onto? And it's like, is holding on to a feeling in a moment, whether it would pass or not, is that gonna disrupt your trajective? Or is it you have to say it? Because usually, more often than not, there's been times it's like, hmm, I wonder what would happen if I had the discipline to not say that, right? But she never pisses me off, but it's like so I don't that worst part of me that's like that I will say part of it's you know, genetics, as far as like not you're not an example of that, really, but just like up the line, uh, or it's just like quick to respond to something, right? But usually there has to be that impetus of somebody like triggering response, right? And because I to the extent that I chose my partner, right? Like, really I just got lucky. But the extent that I quote unquote chose my partner, I chose someone that makes me feel valued and really good all the time. Like almost into like who am I? Way. It's great, dude, it's amazing. But like, what like how do you like continually test that as a theory and like make sure you don't like what happens if suddenly they upset you and you've literally never been upset at somebody? Like, because you know you know what happens when I get like triggered.
SPEAKER_02I think usually that at this point, if you haven't gotten upset with this person, then uh how how are you being fully uh honest? Because you're upset by things all the time. So how are you not upset by this person? What are you keeping inside?
SPEAKER_01Okay, then I guess everything's great, right? Like that's crazy, right? But I don't like I'm I always know it's like is it like acknowledging a a no-hitter when you're in it? I guess like it's not a perfect game, obviously, because I'm involved, so it can't be a perfect game. But it's like you know, you're serving up moon balls, but they keep catching them at the warning track. It's like that still counts as not a hit, right? But I I mean I'm objectively like performing well in my in my capacity as the other part of the relationship. It's great. Okay now, but what happens when the inside I don't? Or what happens when she doesn't? Yeah, theoretically, yes. But I mean let's not theoretically, it's it's you're you're equals, you're partners. Yeah, I know. I mean we're partners, yeah. Yeah, and we're both contributing nice things. So in that way, we're certainly equals, but it's like do you think I would have posed and someone that didn't? I didn't feel like it had a better heart than me or a better um soul than me. No, I'm a competitive person with myself, and I wanted to do I figured it would take somebody to bring the better parts out of me more often. I guess I always knew that. Which is why, you know, just you like well, you said the end justifies the means, right? If you literally end up with someone better than you're gonna do. No, I said that's not a good that's not right. No, well we brought up that concept. I'm saying that you weren't for it. Right. But like, how can you not be though? Like, why would you spend like in that context, it's like as long as you didn't do something awful to somebody, or even if you were like not great sometimes, and I don't even think I didn't first off, I wasn't in enough relationships, enough serious relationships to be like objectively like not great, right? I was just a non-entity for most of these people. Like I'm sure they don't think about me anymore, you know? I'm I'm certain of it. You're pretty forgettable. Thank you. Yeah, I like that. Yeah, and at some point you're like, imagine if someone's like ruining their present because they're worried about what something they did in let's say 2007, or like whenever, you know? It's like, man, that was not why did I say that, or why didn't I say why didn't I assert myself there? It's like I don't do you believe in like like is there another word for besides a butterfly, fly flat or slide indoors or back to feature, like you alter a thing, it changes everything else? Because I feel like in relationships the one time you're like, look, we life's a game of fucking musical chairs, and I sat down before the music stopped, and someone else didn't. And that's what it is. That's life, that's the world.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, but it's not it's not just that. The musical start again, the musical stop again, you're gonna get up, you're gonna get it.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, if you get divorced or you die or something, you die. You die, and then you have to do it all again in like purgatory or heaven or hell or something.
unknownYeah.
SPEAKER_01Dude, I learned a lot of things that I'm ready to date in hell. I'm ready for it. Oh no, this is this is it. Yeah, would you eat ass in hell? Do you get to? Yeah, but in hell, would you like would you eat ass? There's no hell. Well, you didn't date much, so there's hell. There's no hell. There's like, mm, this won't be different, but I'm gonna do it. That is a form of hell, because it's like it's like the uh that Sartre play, no exit or whatever, you just can't get out. And then you do and you don't think about that anymore. Right? Is that what life is supposed to be in a good way, or as long as you're treating people well? Like I wasn't like I don't know, you didn't see me on the hunt, but I wasn't like being like a bad person to people, you know. Like directly to them, talking mess to them or you know, treating them like shit, but it's just like was I a a saint? No, of course not. You know? I was it's like the thing is I realized I was like, I was probably someone else's slop very often. And you just have to be okay with being like it's like the guy, like the lady that's just like the guy married, he thinks that it's like this really like prissy, proper little person, and then they were a fucking party girl, you know. And well, I mean not saying I was that, but like if you saw me in different context, you'd be like, okay. Well now he's not sucking dick, but he was sucking dick, you know.
SPEAKER_02So I guess what you're going back, I don't know, five or ten minutes about you know, communicating with your fiance. Yeah, do you want her to see you suck dick?
SPEAKER_01Is that what you're after? Like, no, we're we're we're looking forward. We're not looking backwards. We're talking about how can we make money off my feet? Because I don't want her, I don't want her to do that. She's got a good craft, real career.
SPEAKER_02Mama can stay home and try to find that show them features.
SPEAKER_01I'm gonna try to give them cuticles. I don't know Highlight them. It's just OnlyFans. Like men that like are there women that pay for OnlyFans for men, like male OnlyFans?
SPEAKER_02No, I don't think I mean yeah, but that's such a probably a small.
SPEAKER_01I feel like women don't waste money on themselves in that way. You know? I think they just look at you know they read books, I guess. Right, because well, first off, we're in the prime of of erotica for story-based erotica for ladies, and like I really want to get on that train for men. Like, I want men to read weird shit. I could do it, I know I could write it. Me and my buddy we did had like a we did a writing exercise several years back, and it was just like, alright, here's the writing exercise. Obviously, I came up with it because it's fucking weird, and I was very pushy about it. So I was obviously, but I was like, here's the thing, we're lumberjacks go. And that's I think that was the prompt. It was like we're lumberjacks, and we were just like, you know, erotically in a silly way talking as in character as lumberjacks. I'm like, that's a book right there. And you two are beating off together? Is this what you're I don't know if he beat off? Sure. But I like you didn't ask me if I did, like, as a phone. Like, no, I didn't beat off. Well, no, I know that you did, yeah. No, I mean I don't think I got hard, but am I a reliable narrator at this point? If you are no longer hard, you're not a reliable narrator by the times it got hard. Boners just they happen and they're gone, and you don't you can't recall exactly a boner. Exactly.
SPEAKER_02I do recall a boner, although I'm a few years younger than you, so I do I'm closer to them.
SPEAKER_01I wake I I have I'm more likely. I had one earlier. The blood flows is like when I wake up. I'll probably have one later. Not to brag, but I'm gonna have a boner later. I mean, it's not gonna be put together. It's just like I don't think it's like a night late, it's like a holster boner. Yeah.
SPEAKER_00I mean, I might come to bed full throttle, but it's gonna be met with like stop it.
SPEAKER_01It's late. Which is fine. It is late. Wait, what does the stop it's late come from like a poke, or is it like it what do you what do you suggest? This isn't me taking notes. Oh, I think they they like point at it. They seem to like if you just knock them on the head with it. Just like uh it's like it's like when you're testing the mic at a podium. Yeah, that's it. And we gave me a TED talk. Yeah, the forehead. They like the TED talk to like with like uh like a writing program so they they want to learn how to follow from our feature footsteps and how to tap your PP on the Yeah, we're we're giving like the the commencement address at like a like a drama school after we've we brought we went seven seasons of our of our school shooting show that sometimes got a musical episode and we're like but it's like oh is this thing on? Okay, okay. But that's what you do in the remarital bed, right?
SPEAKER_02Yeah, it doesn't work, but I figure it's going to at some point.
SPEAKER_01What if there's a what if what about when like the dog's in the middle of the bed and stuff? Does that throw off your game? I kick the dog out of the room. Always do you fuck with your dog on the bed? No, obviously, I don't fuck with my dog in that bed. You kick the dogs out. Just to sleep? No. Okay, well they can come back later. No, but I mean if I have a boner, right? If I wake up, I'm usually it's like, wake up. Do you want to show me how to fuck your wife?
SPEAKER_00Is this what you're coming?
SPEAKER_01No, I don't want to How do you talk to your wife? I don't want a diagram. What do you mean show? What do you mean show? Tell? Yeah. Tell me. You know, show it's usually show, don't tell. Boob, this is a a podcast, which is an audio medium, so I want you to tell me how to how to one you know so do it to their partner.
SPEAKER_02You know, I just remind her of her wifely duties and wink, raise your eyebrows a lot. Show me show me the eyebrow ways. Yeah, that I can do. I can do that.
SPEAKER_01How about the clap thing? Like yeah, like the pass like the aggressively passive aggressive woman that's like say wife, wife, it's Tuesday.
SPEAKER_03Wife, it's Tuesday.
SPEAKER_01What if I make like a trumpet noise? It's like I know that they like to feel pressured. Yes. That usually has to be. How about if my alarm goes off? Like I train my alarm.
SPEAKER_02They also like really high expectations. Yeah. Um, and uh like metrics.
SPEAKER_01Well, how should I present the metrics that I require for happiness, for ongoing happiness? Because uh let's be clear this is a long tail, this is a long play rug pull that I've done.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, I think when you see attractive women on television talk about Them a lot. They like that way they know what you're into. But make sure it's different from them in many ways.
SPEAKER_01Why does it have to be so different from us?
SPEAKER_02So they know they're not enough.
SPEAKER_01But they might think that they're different. And they might see their differences unattainable.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, different is different words.
SPEAKER_01That's what they need. And then um uh I mean they're you're this is coming from the late the guy that likes that would stick it in with Whoopi Goldberg now, and actually anything anytime. And uh you love Drew Barrymore, right? What's not to love about Drew Barrymore? I mean if you're it's like if you're gonna like your hall pass or whatever, you're like, oh Whoopi Goldberg. Like the Whoopi Goldberg Hall Palace is like amazing. I didn't say I would eat her ass though.
SPEAKER_02I just said that like what's wrong with Whoopi Goldberg? That's what I'm saying.
SPEAKER_01I mean, but you were just like you're like sex, I want to fuck Whoopi Goldberg. That's not what I said. You were you were so like you were so into Mary Steamburg. No, I was not disgusted. Steambergen. Steamberger? Steamberg, I wouldn't make a Steamburg. I'm a smash. She is. Are you kidding me? Do you remember Did you ever watch Justified? She was like a kind of a bad guy in that. I'm just saying badass bitch. Sure, baddie. Sure, I'm just saying, like, no, like, there's nothing wrong with Whoopi. That's all I'm saying. I didn't say wrong. Wrong is different.
SPEAKER_02You just said that you basically and I'm just no, she's never been attractive to me.
SPEAKER_01I'm not racist. There's plenty of people. Why do you why are you burning the arrow toward? Well, because you're gonna be able to do it. Because Whoopi would bring into it. No, she wouldn't. She let she was cool with Ted Dan doing his thing. Yeah. So she's not bringing race into it. Not in this conversation, anyway. You don't. The view producers are talent, they're feeding her stuff, okay? We know whoopy's down. Whoopi's down. That's what I'm saying. Whoopi's cool. I like Whoopi. You don't. They met on the set of made in America, right? I think so. That's a good movie. He sold cars? Yeah. Yeah. She sold cars? She used to buy the she saw. No, that was Eddie. Eddie. We need more women in power movies where they're buying teams. Yeah. And they're bossing men around. What's that Murphy Brown lady up to? What's she doing? Candace Bergen?
SPEAKER_02Yeah.
SPEAKER_01Candace Steinbergen? Yeah. What if you made a Megazord and it was just like women? Candace Bergman and Steinbergen? Dude. Do that. Say that seven times fast. Alright, so we're gonna we're gonna drop, we're gonna it's almost fantasy league seasons. We're drafting fantasy uh actresses. You have to be from the ninth. To fuse together? Are we gonna pick women's body parts and put them together? Is that what we're about to get to? No, no, no. Okay, no, I want the midsection. We're not only the I want Murphy Brown's rams. I want those abs of Murphy Brown, Murphy Brown abs. I want to put them in a drawer. Um, no, you can take how many the Star Eagle Five? We'll go Star Eagle Five. For what? Remember the Fantasy League, which by the way, Frequent Sex with Your Sister was the greatest team name ever. That's pretty good. We're uh my cousin Dan is on was sharing my team where Dani Fest Destiny. I showed you the picture, right? That's a pretty good name. Sure. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But I remember when he was like a teenager. I bet all the boys are so impressed. Boys are very impressed with me. When he was a teenager, he was like, he was telling me good team names, and he was like, What about Amish and Life Support? I was like, This kid's going places. I've just been lapped looking up to that. Um, but it's great, right? Because it's like, what would they do? What would you do? Um, but yeah, Steamburger, we'll finish. This is our closing bit, okay? Sure. Just so you know. Don't want to turn it off. Guys, it's gonna get good. Okay, so only women. You've listened to an hour and ten minutes, but it's gonna get good. Part of their career had to take place in the 90s. Okay. So I'm taking Steamberger. It's a fictional fantasy team, okay? Okay, it's a harem. Let's be clear, it's a harem, okay? Okay, okay. It's a sexual-based thing, it's a harem. Okay. But you're not drafting body parts, okay? Again, you can't be like, oh, I I want I'm trading up to get Bergen's abs. No, specifically in character Murphy Brown abs, okay. I don't even know if she ever shows her mid-riff.
SPEAKER_00Okay.
SPEAKER_01Or low riff or up riff, I don't know. Is Tits upriff? Sorry, Bress, sorry, Tits. Um Murphy Brown just like they said it was it was it was like groundbreaking that she was uh intentionally like a single mom on the show later in the years, but it was really truly groundbreaking that she was the first outer belly button on TV. So, and for that reason, I'm taking Mary Steinberg first. Number one pick. Now you picked second and third. Who you got? Whoopi, you have to take whoopy.
SPEAKER_00I'm trying to remember the the girl's name.
SPEAKER_01You gotta take you gotta say whoopie first. You can you're on the clock with the next pick, but you got whoopee. Now you have the next pick. Is it Drew Barrymore? Sure. Okay. My pick? Yeah. Shit. How much time I got?
SPEAKER_02Uh as much time as you want, because I'm looking for that woman's name. I can't remember what was she in? I won't draft her. She was in those. Swear I won't draft her. I don't want her, I don't want her. She's a pig.
SPEAKER_01You put her in a drawer. Uh 90s drawer. She belongs. Oh, yeah, I remember her name. Oh, Small Wonder, that was an 80s show, bro. No. It's like, let's be clear. I uh we're not getting a story, but I have had a dalliance with some ruse on it. Farooza bulk. Farooza bulk? Yeah, remember her? Yeah, from program. No, no, uh craft and uh whatever else. Just the craft, really. Just the craft and the other stuff. Mostly craft. She just gets real dark and scary. She's just kind of intimidating. Yeah, that one. Oh no, she's gonna say fucking uh water boy. That was in the 90s too, right? Wasn't she the other girl in the water boy? Or she was the girl. She was the the girl. Dang, man. That's really cool. Alright. Do you think Faroo is a bulk like for Verukkasalt? Do you know Varuka Salt was named after that uh fucking uh whatchamacallit? Willy Wonka, the girl, the blueberry girl. Fun fact about 90s girl pants. Let's just talk about the breeders for the next 20 minutes. Um, okay, so I'm taking Fuck. Didn't have one ready. What an idiot! Who else had I talked about? Mary Steenberg. Yeah, Mary Steamberg. I can't take her twice. I'd love to do it. I'd like to clone drone Mary Steamberg. Clone bone drone. Candace Cameron Burger. No, that's a you pick. That's definitely you pick. Jody Benson. Who the fuck is that? I don't remember. I know that name. What's it for? Jody Sweden. Jody Benson's the voice of the Little Mermaid.
SPEAKER_02Jody Sweden is is uh is Stephanie Tanner.
SPEAKER_01It was like the last was she the last non-celebrity voice that, by the way, we're gonna talk about at some point. We need to bring back non-celebrity voices in these voice acting things.
SPEAKER_02Okay.
SPEAKER_01First off. But okay. Give me a show. Give me a show. Help me help help center me. I've gone off the rails. I've gone off the rails. Uh the channel. I'm supposed to be married. I'm gonna blow it. The Growing Pains girl? Tracy Gold? Yeah. Oh my god. It's like we're only drafting girls that went off the rails. Manic or something. Tapanga. She's still good. Daniel.
SPEAKER_00Daniel, Dan, yeah. She's big into wrestling.
SPEAKER_01She's just in the legacy tour podcast thing. We want to get there eventually. God, people who do podcasts are the fucking. I know, right? We're doing it. We're doing it backwards, okay? We're potting our way into not potty. And they like, you know, you it's like, did you make any money with this show? Could you try something else? Right? It's like we're talking about. We do this competing show into the goy meets world. That'd be great. You know what we should do? We should create a fake show. A fake podcast based on a show that never existed. And see what happens. Alright. Probably the same thing that happens with this one.
SPEAKER_03No one will hear it. Yeah. But you'll be like, we gotta do a we gotta do a podcast. We gotta do a tonight.
SPEAKER_01I got a lot of fired up. I got 20-page Google Doc. Not a bit usable to anyone in the beginning. No, I got a lot of notes. We got things we can talk about. And then an hour and a half later on a reboot of a of a disastrous start. We're just deep into tracing gold's like NDB page. I'm like, you know, this wasn't that this isn't a porno at all. I mean, oh, there's there's some nudity. Oh, there's a lot of nudity. It's fine. It's like technically she expired before the penetration. We just stop. She just stopped just a corpse. She got a role as a corpse. It's like a morgue porn, and she's like in it, but she's not. Because she's dead. That's probably the body's on the slab.
SPEAKER_00Probably just a stunt torso.
SPEAKER_01It's like stunt corpse number three. She's a stand-in for the actress that plays the corpse. When they do like the steady, like the like the slate, she's the slab girl for the slate. She's the slab backup slab girl for a slate. And that's what happens if you're lucky if you're on a TV show. If you're lucky. And so I'm gonna take. Ooh, just got Bacchula. Oh, should I Can we draft men and women? This is gonna be so much easier if we draft men and women. And we're getting Wells we're gonna end up with a better team that way. Yeah, obviously. Because they let them have careers. Right? It's like there just weren't enough, there weren't enough uh women that are participating.
SPEAKER_02I thought Hollywood. Well, men make careers and then men let women have careers.
SPEAKER_01Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. We're really filling that void that's gonna be a good thing.
SPEAKER_02Scraping the bear.
SPEAKER_01You know what? Gimme gimme a girl played Dana and Step by Step, and she was in the original gay buddy show. Kara something. It was uh she was in that show My Two Dads, which was a gay adopted kid show. They were test they were test driving that concept. They never kissed in it. They were also not gay, but it was clearly coded. It was gay code. The brown hair. Not the brown one. Not the brown one. Um the blonde, the mean one. Oh, you like the mean one? She was a good actress, man. You like the mean one? Not the not Al? The girl who played Al? I don't remember step by step. I want more versatility, okay? Not the tomboy that got they she got too hot, they didn't know what to do anymore. So they just like that's Al. Yeah, she was attractive, very attractive. But they like, they just kind of like, ugh, oh she's I didn't expect this. The brunette. I like the brunette. Oh, they were like the uh knock off uh Kelly Kapowski. Knock off Kapowski, knock off uh the what's her face? Winnie Cooper, yeah. You can take Winnie Cooper, I shouldn't have grabbed. She was yeah, I was like, I mean dead brother.
SPEAKER_02She has a dead brother.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, dude. I never liked her.
SPEAKER_02That show was really depressing every time.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, it is depressing. It's about the 60s. Is it how about it probably how it actually was, not like the 60s that Hollywood grew on to create.
SPEAKER_02It would be on, and I just didn't fucking like it.
SPEAKER_01You're allowed to take Daniel Stern or your next pick, though. You can just go pivot and take the narrator of he was perfect for it.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_01Remember the end? You remember the ends? I don't remember the show. Do you want to know? Should I spoil it for you?
SPEAKER_02Did uh I don't know, he went to college.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, college gets shot up. Kent State. He goes to Kent State, and he's like he doesn't he doesn't get shot, but someone did. He's up. He was not one of the four dead in Ohio. Yeah. He's yeah, he's just like imagine that. What if you just like were an international student at Kent State? Yeah. I went to the Kentucky. Like, hey, I'm on the Kent State. My first having a riot. Oh, I'm a rubble Ryan over here. Yeah, it was. No, I mean it'd be so funny. It's just I mean we and this back to another episode where we did like there's like what it was, there was some Japanese family that was on a fucking double decker bus when 9-11 happened. Huh? There's probably that happened, like, were were there not buses already operating that morning of 9-11 with tourism tourists on them? And someone out there. How did you get here? I lost you. We were talking about Kent State. I don't know. God forbid I can make a uh a leap from one disaster to another. One seminal moment. Yeah, but why is it you're just going with like the students? No, the international student concept of like there's somebody out there who just like that they they threw a fucking dart at the board to go to a college in America and they chose Ken State, which is a dart throw, and then they're like, Oh yeah, I'm going to my class, and then fucking what's going on? Blah, blah, blah. Oh, four dead, and oh, I'm not gonna do an accent, but they're like, oh no. And it's like the lyric came. What happened? That's where you draw the line. Yeah, no, yeah. Yeah, it's a good thing.
SPEAKER_00The joy you had making this little machine gun noise and guns. Yeah. But then you're like, no, no, but I'm not gonna I'm not gonna do the voice of it. Okay, whatever, whatever.
SPEAKER_01It was historical precedents, Christmas Addicts. We get it, we get it, we get it. It was just Crispist Addicts all over again. Um I don't know what that is. The black guy got shot in the red start of the revolution, beginning of the revolution, American Revolution. Oh, yeah. And Lexington, right? Massachusetts. See, it's just like there was like it's so crazy because the the things I'm capable of pulling, it's like they're there are they good pulls? Sure. Great pulls. Where do they go? You can no butt them, and there's gonna they're gonna keep coming. Sometimes you gotta pull the trigger on it. Just like they pulled the trigger on it. In Kansas State. Crispin Glover? What did you know? Yeah, you got Crispin Glover Christmas Haddocks. Christmas. Christmas Haddocks? Christmas Haddocks? No, this we just came up with a Hallmark movie. The guy's first name is actually Christmas. It's like it's not that time of year. The Haddock's Family Christmas! It's not that time of year. Christmas Addicts is something. That's where the serial came from. His legacy was a serial guy. But they're still got that money, man. They still got like a crisp crispus money. So, wait, who I took I took the blonde. I gotta do another one, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah. The snake draft? Yeah, we're still doing this. We're snake drafted. We got five more minutes. Snake draft it. Alright, because again, after this, I have to be a husband. I am not prepared. I am not prepared. Yeah, you'll be fine. No, I know, I'm kidding. I'm kidding, obviously. I mean, you want to character, but yeah. You're not gonna be any worse than now. And she already shipped. That's the thing, is like Melk doesn't get more expired. It just is expired. It does actually get worse. I'm already curdled, bro. I am well curdled. It does get worse. I'm weighed. I'm not just curdled, I am fully weighed. It does get worse. Um I'm not allowed to take another character from step by step, correct? There's no other actor in the other artist. No, I'm not gonna do that. Ooh, ooh, ooh, and ooh. Ooh, who should I pick? It should be a guy this time, right? Well, who do you got so far? Did you opt not to take Scott Bacchula? No, I'm not taking Scott Bacchula. Okay, alright.
SPEAKER_00Um Is there an age range we're going after?
SPEAKER_01You picked Mary Steen for Yeah, no, I mean she's great. I mean she and she the the rule is they had to have performed something in the 90s. And you almost threw me off the scent wildly with that Tracy Gold. Cause I oh I considered it. I considered it. I can't really picture it. What am I gonna take Joanne Kearns? Are you kidding me? Who's she? The mom from uh what was that show? Growing paints? Yeah, growing paints. Alright. Ooh, oh shit. Um you're gonna take Waldo Faldo. I know you're gonna pick Waldo Faldo. I can't. I'm gonna I I'm I'm thinking seventh round. Um, I'm gonna go with just stick with TV. A little easier on TV because they're deeper polls. Again, I don't know what this is about. We're it's you're drafting women drafting actors. Yeah, I mean it could be sex, it could be cuddling, it could be whatever. It could piss they'll belong to you. Let's be clear. I'm taking people that I saw on TV that I want to piss on me.
SPEAKER_02That you want now. They're yours.
SPEAKER_01I want no, I want I'm collecting them. Yeah, I got it. I'm gonna keep them in a drawer, the men, the women, uh-huh, and they're gonna piss on me. I take them out of the drawer, they piss on me, I put them back in the drawer, and I get ten of them. And I've taken two of them. You're well, we're doing ten. Okay. We're gonna go faster.
unknownOkay.
SPEAKER_01We're gonna do five. We're gonna do five.
SPEAKER_02I just don't remember their names. The other thing. I'm just gonna do their character names. Okay, that's even funnier.
SPEAKER_01That's way funnier.
SPEAKER_02I know some of their names. Tiffany Thiessen. Tieson, Tesson, Tesson?
SPEAKER_01Yeah, Kelly Kapowski. Yeah, we're just you you've taken you got Barrymore. Kelly Kapowski. I made you. You know what? I I press you to Barrymore. No, you don't Barrymore. Who's the first one you took? It wasn't Whoopi. Whoopi second. You got Whoopi, you got you got Kelly Kapowski. Oh, I said f uh Fazooka uh Ferruzabal. That was your number one pick? First round, Farizabal. Just throw you off the scent, just to just do something different. She was edgy, man. She's scary. You think she bites? I don't know. I wouldn't put it in. Does she bite when she pisses on you? Just mashing. No, but I, you know, there's a curiosity there that I'm willing to find as a dark curiosity. It's like you you hand them their vampire teeth. Like, I brought my own. I filed them down for this experience. I mean, she's like in the drawer. She's in the drawer filing lady.
SPEAKER_02You know, the Marion type. Yeah, I'm gonna I'm gonna take I'm gonna take Drew Barrymore. I'm gonna take it. No, she has to piss on you. Kate Winston.
SPEAKER_01She probably would have pissed on you and then Drew Barrymore in the early 90s would have absolutely pissed on you. Yeah, yeah, sure. She was doing like she was at cocaine bars when she was like 11. Yeah. Right? She's great. Like her life trajectory is wild. All over the place. Played with an alien puppet in Spielerberg movie. Cocaine party. And then now in her 50s, she gets a piss on you. Live in a drawer. It's great. Not bad. Alright, we're gonna do four.
unknownThis is too bad.
SPEAKER_01Uh Barney. Okay. Barney's pissed on you. What about what's the triceratops' name? There's a green one. Barney had a friend. That's better. You get to pick that one. Barney's gonna be a good one. Can you choose that one for me? What is the Barney's friend? Barney's little yeah, little green friend.
unknownBarney's friend.
SPEAKER_01What's her name? What's the name? What's the name? What's the name? I don't know. Oh, you know what? He had another little friend, Ariana Grande.
SPEAKER_02Wasn't she on that show?
SPEAKER_01On Barney?
SPEAKER_02Yeah, or Selena Gomez. One of those two.
SPEAKER_01Selena Gomez, I think. No, she wasn't in the 90s though, unless she was on that. I actually lived with a guy that was on the show Zoom, apparently. Oh bet. Yeah, but he was the best part was like our other friend that my friend that lived with, he wasn't really just a roommate. But my buddy that I lived with, he was like, Yo, we went to a party and he introduces himself as he was in this the kid's show, and I don't know what to say. How do I tell him maybe don't do that? I was like, just let him do it. He wants to do it, he wants to be known for it. Yeah. Yeah. Oh Zoom, he's basically famous. Right? It was like, and it was only like PBS local. And it was like, it didn't, I don't know if it aired everywhere. Well, you are. It's regional theater. It's pretty dope. Page TV. You saw it? You remember it? I'm not talking about 3-2-1 contact. I remember that ruled.
SPEAKER_02I uh I told my buddy to try and pick up girls at the bar by telling him that.
SPEAKER_01He was not 3-2-1 contact?
SPEAKER_02Well, first I said tell them that you're an astronaut, and then when you go, I I I wasn't. But I did win a trip to space camp.
SPEAKER_01I doubled there. Yeah, because you've had a friend that did that, right? No, it was just a lie. No, he never did. Well, I invented the astronaut game. It's great. I mean, I call it that. I'm sure people have done lying to women forever, but yes, they have. I mean, you heard that San Francisco fake San Francisco player, right? The truth. The 49 fake 49ers player, and like he seduced like 26 women and got um 1.3 million dollars out of them. And he did he wasn't even doing this for more than like a year or two. How? Yeah, how do you get 1.3 million dollars out of the house? How do women give you money? 1.3 million. Where do they earn the money? I don't know.
SPEAKER_021.3 million dollars.
SPEAKER_011.31 gigawatts. Yeah. But maybe you divide the what's it? 1.3 million divided by 26 women. I mean, it's like a lot. It's still like over 50 grand per. That's what I'm saying. Where are they coming up with this disposable income? Look, man. It's not from their businesses that they operate. Well, obviously, if you're if you're if you're if you have an if you're an owner operator of a business that's non um multi-level marketing, unless you're on the top. Again, if you're on the top, you can you can spare some spare change for a fake full.
SPEAKER_02In your mind, are there any are there ever any women listening to this show? Yeah. Or they're like, these two are so fucking stupid. Well, in your mind, maybe they're either or are you just like you just fucking deserve it.
SPEAKER_01You just like there that's what they're saying to themselves? Well, what in your mind like I deserve to listen to it who's out here. This is the intellectual discourse I deserve. Is that what you're saying? I don't know.
SPEAKER_02In your mind, like because I know that it's a bit, and I know that you know that it's not a hundred it's a hundred percent not. It is a bit, is a bit, but only a little bit with a bit. A little bit of a bit. It's a big bit with me. I'm doing it up.
SPEAKER_01You believe what? I'm doing it up. You're doing it up, you're no you're not nobody, you're yes and your yeah, your misogyny is what I'm doing. I'm yes anding. And I'm I'm just saying in the sand, misandry exists as well. Yeah. I'm not misogynistic for the record. Is that what women do? Is that what you said? That's one of the things I do. Yeah. Complaining they tree branch, they mishandert. Is that a ver like a word? Like a misander? Maybe.
SPEAKER_02I don't know. Women are stupid, they belong in drawers.
SPEAKER_01No, they don't belong in drawers. You didn't stop it there, did you? No. Okay, keep it going. Now you can't do back-to-back drawer or finishes. You can't close on a drawer. Why just yes, Bubby, and it's something I finish. I wanna finish. Oh, I wanna finish. If you don't let me finish better than that, I'm gonna fart permanently in this chair. You know I can do that. You know I can do that. Yeah, there are there are chairs that we're not only can I rot the wood in this chair with a single one more fart, but someone's marrying me. I'm doing both. Okay, hit a button, you twerp. Hit the fucking button. Okay, bye. I'm gonna get married bye.
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