Distant Mammories - The Surgery ..

In this episode, Erica talks about her double mastectomy and lymph node surgery. She describes how she prepared, handled things the day of, and recovered after.

Transcript

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Hi, I'm Erica, and you're listening to the Pink and Parenting podcast, where I talk about having breast cancer while parenting two children. I'll tell you the good, the bad, and the hilarious and everything in between. But before I get started, there's a few things I'd like you to know. I'm recording in 2025, so please keep in mind that medical treatments are constantly evolving. Anything discussed is my own thoughts or opinions. Although I'm a nurse, a medical professional, patients should always seek advice from their own medical providers. And any facts or statistics discussed, I will do my best to use credible sources. Now, let's get to the good stuff. This episode I am going to share the details of my mastectomy. There's many types of surgeries that people go through. But the surgery, the one I had in particular, was a double mastectomy with an auxiliary clearance, which means they take all the lymph nodes in your armpit, not just like a couple. But I'll go into a little more detail in in a second to that. It's been a while since I posted an episode, and apologies for that. I had um pretty busy coup few months. We our family moved um out around the bay. And for people who aren't from here, it's basically like 20 minutes outside the town, and we have a beautiful ocean view from my kitchen window, which is where I'm sitting right now while I'm recording this. So we had to like take down our pocket setup and stuff, and and now uh I got it all set back up, and uh, you know, things are kind of finally coming together. So um I figured it's time for another episode. So for my surgery, it was kind of a unique experience and and not one that most would get because I had my surgery in the operating room that I work in. So these are all my co-workers and you know my my a lot of close friends. So it was kind of a a different experience than most people have. I wasn't necessarily like fearing for my life or anything while I was laying on the table because I know that I'm going to be very well taken care of, and you know, it's pretty rare for any kind of big events or abnormal like allergic reactions or you know, people actually don't very often die in the operating room, as contrary to shows like Gray's Anatomy and stuff like that. Um, well, not in ours, anyways. We we're really good at our jobs, so um, yeah, no, I I had a lot of confidence in my surgical team. Um and I felt, you know, pretty at ease going into my surgery because of that. But I I'll start off um kind of like I guess at the beginning of what I remember. Um so leading up to my surgery, uh there, you know, there were certain things that I did to kind of prepare my body for that. Um, you know, I tried to eat a healthy diet leading up to the surgery as much as I could. Um, because eating, you know, eating well, eating healthy, eating like high protein, all that can help with wound healing and as well when you're, you know, in recovery as well. It's important to get all those nutrient nutrients in to like ward off infection or anything like that. And uh I I was really lucky. I I healed from my surgery really well. Um, and you know, it was a long process, but I I had a good healing journey, which I was grateful for. Um, so leading up to that, and you know, I tried to like do just some like stretching and stuff like that, because you want like your skin to be um your muscles to be uh you know flexible and everything like that, because everything's gonna pull kind of tight after you have a mastectomy. So I I did, you know, made sure I was doing some stretching in my shoulders, in my chest area, and you kind of want to build your strength up too in your core because when you have a double mastectomy, you can't really use your arms to pull yourself up. So this is all kind of stuff that I, you know, being a nurse, like kind of thought about before going into surgery. Was I in super shape going into surgery? No, because I was only like six months post postpartum, so no, I wasn't in super shape, but I kind of kept some of those things in mind going into the surgery. Um so leading up to surgery day, um we we told Bridget, um, our littlest one, uh, that I was gonna have this surgery, and I was, you know, mommy's gonna lose her boobies, and it's okay. I'm just waiting for a call from the doctor to tell me to come in and have my surgery. So she knew that I had a surgery coming up, but she didn't know when. And I told her that I didn't know when I was gonna have it. Um, so her grandmother took her on a little trip for about a week. Uh, so she didn't have to be there for the you know, the first week where you're in the most pain. Uh, you have all the like the drains and all that kind of stuff. And I think I talked a little bit about like how I concealed those things from Bridget in the last episode. Um basically I I I didn't want her to be frightened of me because I was in pain or or all the blood and stuff. I wanted to conceal that part from her. Now, that being said, since she openly sees my scars, um you know, some people may or may not agree with that, but I just try to normalize it for her. She asks questions, mom, how do they take your boobies off? Or how did they do that? And sometimes trying to explain that to a five almost five-year-old now, because she she's she's pretty smart, like she she understands, but when I'm talking to her, I try to make sure that I I don't seem scared about it. I kind of like normalized it for her because this is our new normal that mommy's chest has scars, and and that's you know, when we go swimming or anything like that, sometimes that's gonna probably be visible, and it's not something that I'm ashamed of or I'm gonna try to conceal from the world, um, or anything like that. So I um, you know, I I said, Look, these are mommy's scars, and uh, this is where my boobies used to be. And she said, but how do they do it? Yeah, you know, like she's understanding about surgeries and stuff more now. And I also have a father who's this is just a side note, who's an amputee. So she she asks a lot of questions about Poppy's leg and and surgery and you know how he was in an accident, and and the doctor saved his life, and so you know, I feel like different types of scars and surgeries have been talked about ever since she was little, and she could ask questions. So I just explained to her that there's a special type of medicine that takes all the feeling away from your body so nothing hurts. Like when you get a cut and you feel it and it hurts, there's a special type of medicine, and I called it, I tell her it's called anesthesia. And and that's the type of medicine that makes you not feel any of it. And then they give you another medicine that makes you super, super sleepy, and then you just have a little nap and you can't feel anything that's happening, and then you wake up and it was all done, and it didn't hurt. I said after the surgery, mommy had some pain, like you would if you had a cut or if you fell down and hurt your knee or something like that, but they gave me medicine for that too, just like mommy would give you Tylenol if if you had, you know, something that was hurt. So I just try to explain her like that, like you know, it hurts a little bit, but there's there's ways that that and and people who help you through it is essentially how I explain that. So Bridget went on her trip, um, and my mother and my aunts and my husband, they all were around to look after the six-month-old. Uh, but on the day of surgery, um, you know, I I was in the afternoon, so I did to do the whole fasting for the morning thing. But when you got that like um, you kind of have like adrenaline running, so I wasn't like you get a lot of people complain about the the fasting part of things, but I I was kind of like I felt like I had some like adrenaline running through me anyways, and I was okay with that, and and uh you know, I went to day surgery, and then a couple of my co-workers came over um while I was waiting, and they came over with a gift for me, and I opened the gift and it had this pink jeweled crown. So obviously I wore that. I had a blanket with my name on it that said uh, you know, warrior princess, and they had it made with the breast cancer symbol on it. So going into the operating room, I had this like blanket with my name and everything on it, and this crown on. And uh anyways, they they gave me an ad. I asked for an Ada van before I went in because I knew I could have it. I know I know the things that if I ask, they're gonna they're gonna give it to me. So I'm like, yeah, I want it all. I don't want to remember anything, guys. So um I asked for you know all the the good stuff um that I knew I could get going in. And uh yeah, I you know, I I sat in the waiting area, um, ready to go in, had little chats with my co-workers, um, you know, to calm the nerves. Um and then my surgical team uh that took me in, you know, we're all we're like, okay, let's do this. Everybody had a positive attitude, um, about, you know, okay, let's get Erica through this part of her journey. And I was honored to have my friends and my co-workers be the ones to do that. Now to kit to get them through my surgery, because you know, having both breasts removed and um and all the lymph nodes in your armpit removed, uh, that that stuff takes a few hours. And I know that because I had scrub for many of these surgeries. So I was like, I'm gonna make them a little playlist. Yes, surgeons listen to playlists while they're doing surgeries. Not all of them, some of them like complete silence, but most of them don't mind a bit of music on in the background, and some of them like particular types of music when they're operating. Um, and some of them let the nurses pick, which is also great. But I made a little playlist for uh my surgical team, and I kind of knew um that my surgeon really loved 90s and 80s types of music and like early millennials. Um, so I had a lot of those types of songs, and then I had some ones that were kind of like funny to like like have a nod to the type of surgery that they were doing, like my humps by black eyed peas. Um, I hope they had a chuckle out of that one. Um, but yeah, so I had like like a good playlist on the go for them. I still listened to the playlist and uh it the play I called the playlist for my shitty titty committee. Uh so I hope they laughed at that too when they saw that what I called it. But uh going into the operating room, I remember uh I remember being wheeled in and I remember having my IV put in, and that's about all I remember. I I didn't I don't remember like any conversations I had before I went to sleep because usually there's probably like a window of like 15 minutes maybe um while they're giving you certain meds and stuff before they actually intubate you. Um but I don't remember what I said. I was probably trying to I was probably trying to like crack jokes and stuff, knowing me, but yeah, they they said that I was that it was fine if I said anything weird, they probably wouldn't tell me anyways. And uh I don't remember really waking up or anything like that, and I didn't remember a whole lot from the recovery room. I also um worked frequently in the recovery room um with that crowd too, so so they were also my friends and my co-workers. Um but I the nurse that I did have, I remembered she was new and had started while I was off. So I I didn't personally really know her. Um, and I can't even remember her name, unfortunately, because uh I was a little bit out of it, but I do remember that she said she worked in intensive care, and and that's all I I really remembered is is that piece. But there was one thing that I do remember, and this this joke is it's a pretty dark joke. Some people they actually they might be offended by this, but anyways, this is dark humor is literally pretty much what has got me through this journey. And I I knew I was gonna say this joke to someone, one of my co-workers, uh, but I I didn't I didn't know who was gonna pass by or anything, and I and I happened to decide that I was gonna tell this joke uh while I was in recovery. Uh so uh one of my buddies came up who had who was, you know, a very funny person themselves, and I'm not gonna say any names or anything, but uh he came I I waved him over and he he came over me and I and I said um hey uh so-and-so do you do you want to see my tits? And he looked at me like oh my god, like does she remember? Like she's out of it, like she and then I smiled and I said, They're in the bucket down the hall. And he I don't even think he knew what to say. I feel like that is only a joke that a dark-humored aware nurse would come up with. Um I thought it was funny. Uh and he did too. After I gave him permission to laugh, he was like, that is actually so funny. I can't believe you just said that. Um, anyways. Hope someone else enjoys that joke and is not offended by it. Yeah, so that was surgery day. Uh, you know, I remember being uh I did I did choose to stay in uh overnight because I just wanted the option to have something stronger for pain if I needed to. But nowadays we do send people home who are have who have double mastectomies. Um anesthesia has come a long way in in the fact that they do a lot of um pain relief methods called like nerve blocks um that help tremendously uh with post-operative pain. So I I wanted to have all that, you know, whatever they could do for me um nerve block-wise, I I chose to have that done. And they were happy to do that for me because I knew it would help post-operatively. Uh, but I still wanted to stay in for one night. But a lot of people do go, do choose to go home, but I knew that if I went home and if I needed anything stronger for pain, that I couldn't get anything like um, you know, needle-wise um for pain. So that was the reason why I chose to stay in. Um, I did ask a couple times for pain, but overall I wasn't in a tremendous amount of pain. And part of me kind of regretted choosing to stay in for the night a little bit because um they didn't have any private rooms available, and you just kind of take what you can get because like everywhere, there's a nursing shortage and the hospital's constantly, you know, in overcapacity and low on beds. Um but there was a poor um lady with dementia across from me the whole night. Um I feel like that's enough said. The poor doll was uh very anxious to be there and confused and um vocal about it. And I'll just leave it at that. I didn't get much sleep because of that. Um yeah, so my my sleep was pretty broken the night of my surgery. But I feel like most people's sleep is pretty broken their first night of surgery, just like pain-wise, like keeping on top of their meds. And that is one thing that I recommend is not to try to tough it out. Don't try to be that person who's like, I'm not gonna take my narcotic because I don't want to take narcotics or you know, you have a big if you're having a big surgery, like wake, like put an alarm on, get up, take your medication every, you know, six to eight hours, you know, whatever it is you're prescribed for that extra bit of pain, just you know, take it. Because I don't know why anybody tries to be a hero after having a big surgery like that. And people think, oh, like it's not good if I take too much of that. But especially for the first like, you know, four or five days at least, like, you know, give yourself a break. That's a major surgery. Don't try to be the tough person, don't try to be, you know, I'm a strong woman, I don't need that, uh, or man. But like you know, make sure make sure you gotta do what you gotta do to make make yourself comfortable. And two, the more pain you're in, the less likely you are to do your exercises, which is very important. Um yeah, you'll be in a lot more pain and you're not. gonna do as well with your exercises and then your healing is not gonna happen as and as well so take your medication take what you need to take there's no need to be in pain if you don't have to be um it was probably like five days before I started like my pays the pain started easing off um so I was glad that Bridgie was away for that time because I wouldn't have been able to do anything with her and she just would have kind of seen me in pain and sitting on the couch most of the time after that so after getting through like the initial surgery part of things it took it took a little while for my drains to come out which was something that I don't think I was mentally prepared for is the tangliness that surgery brings I felt like a freaking octopus I you know I had so the type of dressing that I had on it it's like a sponge that gets attached to like a vacuum seal and it and it seals down and it you know creates this dry kind of environment that that takes any fluid away from the wound. It gets left on for a week uh and it's attached to this like heavy battery operated um seal so you got this cell phone size battery pack thing in one pocket and I'm really glad that I bought surgery clothing and I'll talk about that after I finish this and I had so I had that with you know a tube coming out of it then I had one drain um on my right side in in underneath my incision and then there was another drain on the the left side underneath my incision and there was also a drain in my left armpit where they took all the nodes and they drained quite frequently a lot of a lot of fluid and I was pretty diligent at like emptying them and and writing down what was coming out of each one just because you know I I'm a nurse and I used to do this for people at one point up on the floors and stuff like that. So I uh I did a pretty good job and my husband helped me empty them a lot of times too because it's just it was just so tangly but uh I was very grateful that I I bought cer like post surgery uh tops that had pockets in them to hold these drains I had a robe that had four pockets and I had another tank top that had pockets on the front of it that you could tuck it all in. Some other things that I bought and I bought these all on Amazon um I think probably for some people you can get some of this covered uh if you go to like Lawton's or something like that you might be able to get some of these post surgery tank tops and stuff like that covered uh by your insurance I just went on Amazon and bought some stuff I bought a chest pillow there uh there in the for that there was um a pocket on the front you could put like an ice pack or something um if you need an ice pack for a little bit but the thing with ice packs that you have to be careful about is your chest is numb uh so you don't want to put too much cold to your chest if it's numb so only keep it on for like 20 minutes or whatever but it does help reduce swelling quite a bit um and as well I bought a wedge pillow this this wedge pillow is the only reason I slept at night essentially it it's a foam wedge and it helps you basically sleep upright and then I'd have two pillows under my left arm and two pillows under my right arm and then my chest pillow across my chest um it was like I'd call it my my queen's throne but this was really important uh for sleeping because lying all the way back I found too uncomfortable and too painful but also like if I had to get up at night to use the bathroom um because I couldn't go from lying down completely uh to sitting up without assistance because I can't pull really because I where I had it on both sides I don't I didn't really I if you have like one one sided um mist if you have a single mastectomy it's probably um easier in that sense for being able to pull yourself up with your other side um to get up and stuff like that and just to do do things even like trying to like reach behind you to like wipe your bum and everything just was challenging when you got both sides done um but this wedge pillow helped me be able to like sit up because I was basically sat up sleeping but to get up at night and go out and use the bathroom and and stuff like that on my own okay I'm trying to think what else what else did I do to prepare myself I got the I had the wedge pillow um the tank tops those were those were the biggest things that helped me post surgery uh some people uh and depends on like what's you know recommended by your surgical team I guess but some people uh do wear like a a bit of a like a compression bra after surgery because any kind of compression like that is is gonna help uh with the pain and I found like wearing my chest pillow like while I was sitting down and stuff had just having that like little bit of comfort um from the pillow especially if you like sneezed or coughed or anything like that um it it was nice to like lean into the pillow when any of that stuff happened so like a compression um tank or something like that would probably help as well with that and anything like compression wise would would help with a bit of swelling uh post op as well um and I'm sure like you can get certain ones that are recommended by your surgical team for that. I I had like the the type of dressing I had I found kept everything sucked in and sucked down so that that was what helped with the swelling and then I just like wore loose clothes and and I'd wear my pillow over my chest to help like keep my my swelling down and uh when we go to I'll chat a little bit too about mastectomy bras if you have private insurance um a lot of like I guess depending on your policy a lot of them get covered and the same with um breast prostheses but uh here in Newfoundland if you do not have any kind of private insurance or anything like that uh that is something the Cancer Care Foundation will help you with and uh ever since like since I've been diagnosed I've been uh an advocate for the Cancer Care Foundation because once you get into this situation uh cancer is very expensive. So when you think about having two breasts removed you need to buy these mastectomy bras all these compression tank tops post-surgical garments um the breast prostheses themselves depending on which ones you get are are not very cheap um the ones I have like the the silicone breast prostheses uh they're a thousand dollars to get two prostheses so luckily insurance covered the majority of the cost for mine uh but if you're someone who doesn't have these insurances you're you're not gonna get these certain prostheses and stuff like that so this is where one way the Cancer Care Foundation can help with that also um the Canadian Cancer Care Society too has options you can go in and apply for you can go in and apply and uh get wigs sent to you you can get mastectomy bras and prostheses sent to you from them as well so just so people know that there are options out there if they don't have private insurance to pay for them. Uh also Amazon I bought uh a cheap pair on Amazon and uh I gotta say they're not much different than the medical grade ones so don't be afraid to look on Amazon I'm not a spokesperson for Amazon by the way I just I really buy way probably way too much stuff there. Um so yeah there's all kinds of post mastectomy surgical stuff and swimsuits and everything like that there if you're looking for a cheaper option uh yeah so surgery wise that's about it um I mean I could sit here and talk to you about all the different types of mastectomies and and uh and everything like that. Um I might do an episode as well about breast reconstruction um but I don't have any personal experience with it so I I personally can't attest to the breast reconstruction um part of this journey for some people but I can tell you that I'm I've now met many, many breast cancer survivors there's ones who choose to get it done right away. There's there's people who choose to get it like later on like five years down the road um there's a lot of people who choose to stay flat and there's people who aren't candidates and that's the part that I can attest to um personally I am not a candidate uh for breast reconstruction so when people kind of like make the comment oh well you know you'll get nice uh a nice set of perky tits out of it kind of like joking around you know what they might not um because if the person's not it's some people just aren't candidates for it and and the reason why I'm not a candidate is because you know at present like uh my chest is pretty scarred down from my radiation and that's something that I'll probably get into in my next episode is the radiation process but radiation did a lot of damage um to my skin uh just scarred down my scars pretty bad and also um when you have 12 lymph nodes removed that makes you really high risk for infection so they know plastic surgeon for me was like you know that's that's a high risk for infection like I would never want to put a prostheses in someone who's had that many nodes removed um and has uh some ongoing lymphedema which is the point that I'm at now and I will do I definitely do an episode on lymphedema because it's been a very challenging part of my life the last few months I won't get into it now but I have a lot of things to chat about coming up so I think I'm gonna end things off there and I'm really glad to get back and and get another episode in to chat with you guys about I thank you so much for listening and and I hope you listen to the next episode too thanks