Beauty from Ashes: When God Rebuilds What Was Destroyed

Have you ever felt like your life was burning down around you? Your relationships, your plans, your very identity reduced to ashes? That's exactly where I found myself – in a season where everything seemed broken beyond repair.

What I discovered in that painful place changed everything: God doesn't stand outside our flames watching us burn. He steps right into our rubble and begins gathering tools to rebuild us. As Isaiah promises, He truly does bestow "a crown of beauty instead of ashes, the oil of joy instead of mourning, and a garment of praise instead of a spirit of despair."

In this raw and heartfelt episode, I share my journey from brokenness to restoration – how God took my personal devastation and transformed it into ministry. We explore why many of us continue carrying old baggage into new seasons, and how this prevents us from fully stepping into what God has prepared. The turning point isn't found in distraction or denial, but in complete surrender: "Jesus, if you can do something with this wreck, I'm all yours."

We dive deep into the challenging process of forgiveness – forgiving those who never apologized and forgiving ourselves for not being perfect. This forgiveness doesn't happen overnight, but Jesus repeatedly whispers: "You don't have to carry what I already paid for." Through practical steps and spiritual insights, I'll guide you to identify what you're still holding onto from your ashes and find the courage to finally lay it down.

What struggle are you facing today? What baggage are you dragging into your future? Listen, pray along with us, and discover that your broken season isn't the end of your story – it might just be the soil where God plants something entirely new.

Chapters

• 0:00 Opening Prayer and Introduction
• 4:38 Addressing Our Baggage and Pain
• 8:02 God Works in Our Ruins
• 13:01 The Power of Surrender
• 16:21 Finding Grace in New Relationships
• 19:33 The Challenge of Forgiveness
• 22:03 Final Prayer and Call to Action

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:01

Hey friends, I hope you're having an awesome day. I got up thinking about this recording this morning and I thought you know what, god, I want to choose joy today, even though I'm exhausted and I'm tired from all the things we moms do. I want to choose you today, and so one of the things that I really felt on my heart was hey, when you start in the midst, let's pray over the message rather than praying at the end. And so today we're going to start off in the midst, not only talking about hope, but we're going to talk to God, and I want to pray for you, and I also want to pray that my words are of him and that I lead you to the cross, not to my opinion, not to what I think you need to do, but what God desires for you. So let's start that this morning.

Speaker 1: 1:00

Dear Lord, thank you so much for dying on the cross, not only for me, but for my friends. God, not only for my friends, but the beggars and all of those that choose against you every single day. God, you didn't decide for one, for her, for him, you decided I will die for all, no matter what. I will die for all, no matter what. And, god, I am so thankful that you do not see anything but us. And God, we love you so much and we are just so thankful for the sacrifice that you have given already for us. Lord, I ask you right now there's going to be some hard conversation today. There's going to be some tears from my side and probably some tears from the listeners that are hearing your word. But, god, I ask you right now that it is yours, not mine, god, that you don't allow anything to work into this podcast today that you do not desire for the hearts of those who are listening. And, god, we thank you for not only your faithfulness, but we thank you for your grace, god, that you desire us to provide forgiveness to others, so that it allows us to step into whatever you have ahead of us. And, god, help me to open minds and open eyes to you through your word, and we love you and we praise you in Jesus name. Amen.

Speaker 1: 2:35

All right, so here we go and we're going to dive right in, and one of the things I want to do today is I'm going to talk a lot slower than I've been talking because we're going to go to a part. I know we've discussed brokenness, and I know we talked about the everyday mom life and things that are happening and make it chaotic. But one thing that we have to do before moving forward in our journeys is we have to remove all the baggage. We got to take it off, we got to lay it down, and that's going to require more faith than you've ever had. See, a lot of our baggage comes from past hurt and past relationships. It comes from friendships that ended. It comes from church hurt. It comes from all of these things that not only we have stepped into, but God stepped into it with us, whether we invited him or not.

Speaker 1: 3:29

And here's the deal he can't push us forward if we want to stay backwards, and he wants to do great things in our lives. I'm telling you I don't have a perfect life. My house is not always clean. I don't do everything that is truly pleasing to Him, because I'm human and I make mistakes. I get angry at a softball game quicker than anybody on the field, and I don't have a dog in the race. I'm not the umpire, I'm not a player and I'm not even a coach most of the time, but I'm human, and so one of those things that I have to remind myself is hey, hey, you're not reflecting him, you're not shining him, and so if you are being looked at right now by someone who doesn't love him, could you lead him or her to the cross? But, guys, here's the deal.

Speaker 1: 4:24

Okay, let's really dive into some things that have been painful. Sometimes it feels like it's burned down all around us our marriages, our plans, our families, even our identity. But here's what I know without a shadow of a doubt. But here's what I know without a shadow of a doubt. We serve I serve a God who doesn't walk away from the rubble. He steps right into it, he picks up the ashes and somehow, somehow, he starts building beauty. And I'm not talking about just a patch job, not a quick fix, but a holy restoration, one that he can only do. Guys, if you want part of this, you got to open yourself right now to allowing yourself. Whatever the roadblock is, you got to remove it. I pray right now that the Holy Spirit is aligning those things up so you can say you got to go, you got to go. I am able because God is able. I can do these things. Today, I'm going to share what it looked like when God took my mess and turned it into ministry, and I'm telling you, if he can do that for me, he's not going to leave you out, I promise.

Speaker 1: 5:54

This one is for the woman who feels too far gone. You feel too broken, you're too tired. Let's take it to the Word, because one thing I like to do is make sure that anything that we discuss on In the Mist is not only fact, but you can find it in the Word. Isaiah 61.3 says To bestow on them a crown of beauty instead of ashes, the oil of joy instead of mourning, and a garment of praise instead of a spirit of despair. If that's what your soul needs, you're in the right place.

Speaker 1: 6:42

The burned down parts of my life I could strike a match, even talking about it. I've seen fire, not the kind you call 911 for, the kind that sits quietly in your home eating away at everything you thought was safe. There was a season where I felt everything in my life was falling apart A marriage that looked good on paper but was filled with pain, lies. I didn't want to believe, but couldn't deny Children who were watching and waiting for a mom that felt like she was breaking under the weight, a woman who once stood tall in her faith, now hiding under shame, fear and exhaustion. And I'll be honest, I asked God more than once where are you in all of this? I think I talked to you about that when we talked about brokenness. Where are you, god? Where are you, god? But what I didn't realize at the time is God wasn't standing outside of those flames watching me burn. He was already gathering the tools to rebuild me. Let that sink in. He is such a good father that he is so far ahead of us. Even in our rubble, he's already building our return.

Speaker 1: 8:14

But my turning point wasn't hey, god, I may need you. Hey, god, I'm going to go and I'm going to play softball this weekend and I'm not going to think about you. And, god, I'm going to go on this date because, well, it just feels right and this is what I'm going to do. And, god, I'm going to buy all these things and put it on my credit card because at some point somebody will pay for it. No, that wasn't my turning point. My turning point wasn't walking into work every day putting a smile on my face and acting like nothing was wrong.

Speaker 1: 8:48

My turning point was choosing to surrender. You don't build or rebuild a life by accident. You do it by surrender. And this came slowly for me, even in the church office, in altar calls I didn't plan to respond to, in lonely nights where I cried out not even knowing what I needed. There came a moment when I finally stopped trying to make it look all okay and I said Jesus, if you can do something with this wreck, I'm all yours and y'all. He didn't just put me back together. He gave me an entirely new life, and some of you are walking in that new life right now. But what's happening is you're still carrying the baggage from the old life. You're still laying down at night and you're not laying down the things that you need to leave at the altar. You're still carrying the baggage from the old life. You're still carrying the baggage. You're bringing them to bed with you. You're waking up with them. You're looking at your children and thinking, gosh, I got to share them this weekend, I got to do this, I got to do that. But do you not realize that God knew all those obstacles when he said surrender to me? There came a moment when God said enough's enough and y'all. He didn't just put me back together. He restored my motherhood, he redeemed my past and then, in his wild and gracious timing, he gave Tyler.

Speaker 1: 10:34

I found myself this morning and this is where I get emotional and I'm really trying not to cry. I really am. But I was watching Tyler work at the table and I thought to myself, heather, you are so blessed. Sometimes I get real anxious, heather, you are so blessed. Sometimes I get real anxious. And I'm a planner and Tyler is, to an extent, like, when it comes to his field and his work, like everything is, he has to be so OCD about it. But when it comes to certain other things, I'm like why can't he just plan this or pick this up or do this? And then I think you know he may be a little exhausted too, but at the end of the day he still loves you and that is enough. You know You're fortunate if you're stepped into that part of your life.

Speaker 1: 11:42

But let me tell you those that haven't, once you get past the roadblock to allow yourself to be open and put yourself in position, and I tell you that God's not putting someone for you in a bar, he's not putting him out somewhere where God wouldn't be If it's not God-centered. More than likely you're not going to find someone of God, dive in to a church, dive in in worship, dive in in Sunday school, dive in into places where you associate yourself with people of Christ, so that you have an opportunity for God to give you that next step. And if you're not doing those things, you can't think that God is just going to send them out of nowhere into the alley that you're standing in, because he doesn't intend for you to be in the alley, he intends for you to be out front. Healing wasn't overnight. I brought some of that into our marriage and thank God for Tyler's patience, because he allowed me to heal, he allowed me to grow and there were things.

Speaker 1: 13:10

When you talk about forgiveness, it doesn't come all at once. There's different stages of forgiveness and it is hard to lay it all down. I'm with you. Forgiveness didn't come in one church service. It was hard and it was humbling and it was holy, and I've used that word a lot lately. But something that God keeps bringing me back to is he is holy and if he is in the picture, it is holy. I had to forgive people who never apologized. I had to forgive myself for staying too long, for not leaving sooner, for not being perfect, but Jesus whispered to my heart over and over and over you don't have to carry what I already paid for and I would lay it all back down. I stopped picking it back up and I began walking in freedom, in real honest breath in my lungs, tears on my cheeks, freedom. Can we talk about grace in action for a second, because that's what my marriage is.

Speaker 1: 14:26

Tyler's, not just my husband. God knew I needed a safe place. He knew that I needed a shoulder for tears and unfortunately, a lot of those tears were from old wounds rising up, things. They still come up, and God not only provided in my marriage those things, but he gave laughter when life is heavy, partner in parenting, in prayer, in all the things. Jesus, tyler's not only my rock, because he just is who he is, he's my rock because he's standing on the rock. And that's what I desire for you. If you haven't stepped into your next relationship of love and joy and peace and happiness, what I pray for you is whomever God is preparing for you, that you are giving all of yourself to Jesus right now, so that not only he has a personal relationship with you but he is creating the desires of your heart to match whom he's preparing for you.

Speaker 1: 16:09

Tyler loves Jesus with a deep and steady fire. There's times I question, is he in the word enough? And then he'll spout off scripture to me like, yeah, are you in the word enough, girl? And then he'll spout off scripture to me like, yeah, are you in the word enough, girl? Because I am with it with Jesus, and we just kind of have that relationship where it's just one of those things and we will go back and forth and then we giggle because it's like okay, we're still on the same page Because the desires of our heart are the same. Our goal is heaven. He loves our family, like Christ loves the church, and I can't encourage that enough. I'm not saying that you can't walk into a rubble situation and someone that's not seeking after God can't become of God. Okay, not telling you that, but what I am telling you is that first priority needs to be how Christ loves the church, is whom he and how he should love you. He takes care of my mom and daddy without being asked. He grabs my hand in worship and speaks truth when I want to spiral out of control.

Speaker 1: 17:19

We've had some things this past week and I'm going to go into another episode, but I just want to tell you a little bit about it. I was praying just like so, intentionally, and I had a lot of requests from friends and family to go out on a limb and apply for a certain job, and in my heart I knew that it wasn't my seat. I'm very prayerful and a lot of times I am thought to be a job hopper in per se, but if you know my journey and know my heart, that's not it at all. There's no job hop without God repositioning and I refuse to do anything outside of His calling for my life, and that's from decisions from the bottom to the top. And so I was praying over this and I just felt so compelled to just do it and, part of my selfish human ways, I wanted to walk in some anger when I received that. No, but what I had to understand is it wasn't about it, it wasn't about me, it wasn't about Heather, wasn't about it. It wasn't about me, it wasn't about Heather.

Speaker 1: 18:38

I still, guys, don't have a clue what it was about, honestly. Um, I don't even have a response from the person I interviewed with. I do know that the other person got it and I rejoice in his divine and I believe that like. I believe that that was already set before I walked into the room, that God had already had a plan for him, and so I'm not faulting that. But I am telling you that obedience is so important. God continues to bless me, our marriage and our family, even in the hard times, because when I go back it's rooted in Him.

Speaker 1: 19:24

So if you're in a broken season right now, let me just say this to you this is not the end of your story. Broken seasons do not mean broken lives, and sometimes they are just the soil where God plants something new. God brings different people in our lives for different seasons, and I've heard that a lot of times when I would be really upset when my friends would change over the course of my life. But I look back and I think, thank you, god, thank you for the seasonal friends, not that I wasn't able to bring them to the next season, but thank you for the prayer warriors that I had in the season that I was in the midst of. Some of those different seasons bring blessings. Some bring lessons, some bring heartbreak that turns into ministry. Some stretch us, humble us and leave us better. They were only ever meant to be a chapter, not your forever.

Speaker 1: 20:34

Let go of what he's asking you to lay down and do not pick it back up. Let go of it, because what he's building in you is more beautiful than you can imagine. I'm going to challenge you. What's the one thing you've been holding onto from the ashes? The pain, the shame? Is it the fear? Is it bitterness? Lay it down, make a list. Make a list and you know what. I'm not a box checker, I'm an overdoer, but you check that box today. You lay it down, and lay it down for good. Don't drag it into the new thing God is doing. It doesn't belong there, because God's already went before you.

Speaker 1: 21:19

And if it's forgiveness that you need to give, I encourage you today. You pray and you ask God to give you the courage and the power to overcome, because I'm telling you, once you forgive, that burden's off of you. It's not about you feeling good, it's about allowing yourself the opportunity to move forward in whatever Christ desires for your heart. And without forgiveness there may not be room for that, and I don't want you to miss out on something so amazing that you can't even imagine, because you've got old baggage that you haven't left behind. Let me pray for you today, jesus. Thank you that you never leave us in the fire, that you step into the broken parts and breathe new life.

Speaker 1: 22:12

I pray over the woman listening right now whose heart is still holding on to the ashes. Remind her that you are rebuilding something beautiful. Give her the courage to surrender, the strength to forgive and the hope to dream again. Let her know she's not too far gone. Let her know that you're in the midst of her story. You have been in the rubble and you have already interceded to the Father for her.

Speaker 1: 22:43

In Jesus' name. Amen, now, sis, listen to me. In Jesus name. Amen, now, sis, listen to me. The only thing we get to take to heaven is souls. I encourage you, no matter if it is your worst enemy, your ex-husband, whomever, forgiveness and prayer, because the best case scenario for any of us is for all to fall in love with Jesus and want His desire for our hearts. So let's love people well. Let's stop hiding our scars and start showing our Savior. Let's walk in restoration so loudly that no one gets left behind, because you, you are not the ashes, you are the beauty, and Jesus, he's in the midst. I love y'all and I can't wait to share the next podcast with you. It's not as emotional, but it is real, and I am so excited as to where we are headed on this journey together. But I'm praying for you. It's not as emotional, but it is real, and I am so excited as to where we are headed on this journey together. But I'm praying for you and I thank you for listening.