Motherhood in the Mayhem: Finding Jesus Between ballgames and Burnout

Y’all, if you’ve ever packed 47 snacks, found a lost cleat in the driveway, and prayed for your sanity in a Chick-fil-A parking lot, you’re in the right place. I’m a sports-and-dance mom times four, and today we’re talking about how to keep Jesus in the center when life is anything but still.

Chapters

• 0:00 Welcome to Motherhood in the Mayhem
• 3:10 The Reality of Mom Life Chaos
• 5:26 Discipleship in the Midst of Chaos
• 8:49 Breaking Free from Perfection Pressure
• 14:28 When You Feel Like You're Failing
• 19:29 Don't Grow Weary in Well-Doing

Transcript

Heather C: 0:01

Hey friend and welcome back In the midst. I'm your host, Heather Cox, and I am so excited to bring you today's episode. Episode two is Motherhood in the Mayhem Finding Jesus Between Ball Games and Burnout. And when I say burnout, I really mean the laundry that's piled up about tenfold behind me, that it's all over the dining room table, and I'm really not sure why we call it the dining room table, because nobody sits at it but the cat and the laundry. However, if today feels like you're barely hanging your head above that laundry, running from ball field to dance studio with a cold coffee in your hand, this one's for you. With a cold coffee in your hand, this one's for you Because, mama, we're talking about reality of mom, guilt, mismatched socks and the absolute chaos of trying to raise kids, love Jesus and not lose your mind in the process.

Heather C: 0:57

So let me start off by saying there are some days I'm barely hanging on by a thread and if I'm being honest, it's probably a jersey string from that pile of laundry I forgot to fold three days ago One of those sad little strings that has someone's name on it and permanent marker. You know what I'm talking about. We start off real good and then it's looped around a rogue sock that doesn't even belong to this house, and if it does, I haven't seen it in a while. Can anyone relate? Or is it just me? And since we're talking laundry, let's go ahead and talk about something and all of us know about. I think us women could save companies millions just by redesigning those pad inserts that roll up tighter than a burrito in the dryer. One of my girls has full coverage and the other one looks like it's on a prayer chain. Trying to stuff that thing back in there feels like folding a fitted sheet, blindfolded in a wind tunnel. And, guys, I don't know about you, but if you are gifted folding a fitted sheet, praise be to god. Because, let me tell you, I'm not even trying.

Heather C: 1:58

However, ma'am, I did not sign up for bra origami, but meanwhile, beyond all that, we're out here juggling, travel, baseball, softball tournaments, sometimes in different zip codes. On the same weekend, we got practices spread across the entire state, extra lessons, workout with trainers, personal workouts, and if you get to yours, I am giving you a shout out because I'll go for three or four days in a row and then I ain't seen it in four or five weeks and my body is begging for me to go back, but, girl, that cookie dough is so good and I just want to sit in the chair for a minute. However, let's not forget dance competitions, dance classes, gymnastics, and where there are more bobby pins flying than actual people If we forget, or don't forget, to put the bobby pins in our hair. Hmm, there's that. And then let's not talk about homework, church service, community service, and every now and then I remember oh yeah, all these people got to eat, and who you think has to feed them. Well, didn't I just make supper yesterday, or was that last week? Wasn't that enough?

Heather C: 3:09

And in the middle of all that, we're trying to keep our marriage strong, our mind sound, and maybe, just maybe, sneak a hot shower in without an audience. And let me just tell you, if you have a golden doodle of any kind, that ain't happening. No shower, no bathroom, no, nothing by yourself. I love my kids, I do. But let's be real. This world has a way of making you feel like you've got to do more. You've got to be more. Show up for everything, do it all, with a Pinterest-worthy snack in one hand and a Bible verse memorized in the other, like you're auditioning for Proverbs 31's highlight reel. And don't get me wrong, I love Jesus and that is what this entire podcast is about.

Heather C: 3:55

But, guys, does anybody else feel like they're falling short? Or is it just me? Because here's the truth. I settled in my heart just this. Jesus isn't asking for my performance, he's asking for my presence. He's not keeping score of the carpools, the snacks, or whether Lucy's dance bun look like the Pinterest tutorial I watched seven times to try to get all her hair in one spot. He just wants you In the stillness, in the chaos, in the carpool line, at 748, and you know, the tardy bell is about to ring and you got three-day-old dry shampoo.

Heather C: 4:34

But your heart, you're trying your best and if today looked more like a survival mission than a Hallmark moment, grace, grace, mama. Give yourself grace, because Jesus sees the heart behind the hustle and he's not asking you to do it all, he's just asking you to be with him in it all. So, mama, here's the deal. Okay, we're going to talk about the reality of discipleship Because, guess what, I have four kids. I don't know how many you have, but they're watching all the time. Do you hear me? They are watching. You don't have to be perfect to show Jesus to your kids. You don't have to nail every ideal moment to prove that you're living out faith. And guess what your kids see you. They see when you're overwhelmed, when you're living out faith. And guess what your kids see you. They see when you're overwhelmed, when you're burnt out, when you're doing your best in the chaos. And that's where the real discipleship happens.

Heather C: 5:34

Take my daughter Avery, for example. She's 16. Now she's one of the most creative people I know. She's clumsy but, goodness gracious, I've never seen anybody that can't walk straight but can dance and perform so beautifully on a stage. She has it to an art. She's a dancer. She's also the media guru at church. She loves photography. There are days when she's helping out in different situations and I'm running to one sports field and to the next, and when she sees me pray before we rush off to another game or another event, she sees faith in action. She's watching me, even when I feel like I'm barely hanging on by that jersey thread.

Heather C: 6:19

And then there's Molly. She's 13 and it's a definition of focus. That kid has more determination and focus than I've ever seen in my life. If there's a sport with a ball involved, molly's there. She leads worship on Wednesday. She is a golden child when it comes to caring and loving others. Playing softball is one of her things. It's like she's auditioning for the Olympics and she knows when she messed up. You don't have to tell her. She wears it, she thinks about it, she strives to do better in every situation. But, guys, she's 13. The real lessons Molly's learning, not from the winning and the trophies, because we don't have a ton of those, but from the times when I have to stop and admit I can't do it all, but I, mom, have to lean on God in this moment to get through. That's where Molly learns Will.

Heather C: 7:13

My eight-year-old bundle of energy. He's all boy, the only boy of four kids, so you can only imagine. Super smart athletic loves baseball, loves basketball, loves football. And let me tell you this kid loves his mama. I mean, he'll just look at me with those big eyes and say I love you. And even on those days when I'm so exhausted and I feel like I've messed up everything, it's his heart that reminds me. It's not about being perfect, it's about showing up, being present and loving them through it all.

Heather C: 7:49

And let me not forget Lucy, because you're going to hear several stories in the upcoming episodes about Lucy. She's my hilarious daredevil who's five? She's redheaded. And I mean, this girl keeps me on my toes. The other day she was pretending to fly through the house and I had to chase her, of course, through the living room, because if you don't do what Lucy says within the first five requests of doing what Lucy says, she's not going to stop. She may put a lego on the floor and you step on it and have to figure out who put it there, but you already know, so she will get your attention. But she's flying through the house and I'm chasing her through the living room while trying not to break a sweat, because, of course, I'm in the middle of making dinner and helping Will perfect his swing in the middle of the living room.

Heather C: 8:36

But in the midst of it all, I have to remind myself Jesus is in all of this. He's in this chaos, he's in the laughter, he's in the mess, he's even in the tears I really want to cry that are behind my eyelids, but I can't let them go because that shows failure. Even if it looks like a circus, jesus is there. And that pressure to be perfect, mama, oh, my goodness Y'all the pressure to be perfect is real. The world tells us more than ever that we need to have it all figured out the perfect job, the perfect house, the perfect kids, the perfect Instagram feed, the perfect answers, the perfect responses, the perfect text messages to our friends. Timely, because you know we get to every single one of them every time they text us. If you do, you are a superhero, because I do my best, but, guys, it ain't happening.

Heather C: 9:26

I swear, I'm convinced there's a hidden agenda on Pinterest, a conspiracy to make us feel like we can do it all and need it all and do it perfect. To make us feel like we can do it all and need it all and do it perfect. But guess what? Jesus never asked you to be perfect. Jesus isn't looking for Pinterest moms. He's looking for present moms, moms who show up in the mess, moms who press on even when it feels like everything's falling apart. I can't even talk to you without skipping a word or two, because I'm not perfect. So here's the truth. You don't need to have it all together. You don't need a spotless house, you don't need a perfectly curated life. You don't need to have it all figured out. Jesus doesn't need you to be perfect. He just needs you to show up, to be present right here, right now.

Heather C: 10:11

It is so easy to fall into this trap, isn't it? That if we don't check every box on our to-do list, and if you've got a to-do list and even remembered to take it into Walmart when you were grocery shopping, praise be to you, sister, because most of the time I'll make one, either leaving it on my desk or it's in the car seat when I get in the store. So who took the time to make a list? I did, but I didn't use it. So, anyway, I'm just telling you that if we don't check every box on our to-do list, we failed.

Heather C: 10:39

That is a lie. You are enough just as you are, and Jesus knows you're not perfect, but he's still asking you to bring your heart to him, to show up in your mess and to let him work on your imperfections, because, guys, it's about presence, not perfection. Let me just remind you that I'm far from perfect. I mean, if you know me, you're already aware of that piece of information and I don't have to tell you. However, I mean, some days I look at myself and think how in the world did I even make it through this day without completely losing it, or did I lose it and don't even realize it's gone? There are days I miss the mark, when I forget to pray with my kids before bed, when I snap at them in frustration because I'm so overwhelmed and they've asked me the same question over and over for the 47th hundredth time, or when I don't have energy to even pretend I have it all together. I just roll on.

Heather C: 11:37

You know those days when the house is a mess, your kids are arguing, you realize it's dinner time. You forgot to thaw something out. You feel like it's running on fumes. I've had those days. I walk in those days most of the time. I've had weeks where it feels like I'm just getting by, and I'm sure you've had those days too, days when you look at yourself in the mirror and think why can't I do this better? Why am I so tired? Why do I feel like I'm failing? So-and-so has it all together. She even fixed her hair and makeup before she got to the car line this morning.

Heather C: 12:13

The enemy loves to sneak in during those moments and tell us that we're failing. He wants us to believe the lie that we can't do it all. Be it all and perfectly. Hold it all together, then we're not enough. But let me say it again, it is not about perfection. It is about being there, being present in the mess, in the chaos and in the moments when you feel like you can't get your act together. I promise you, your kids don't need you to be perfect. They need you to show up. I know I'm being repetitive, but it's so important for you to nail this home so that you recognize your worth. They need you to show them that faith isn't just something you do when things are good or when everything is Pinterest worthy Heck, we probably need to just delete that app altogether, but the recipes are way too good at the moment and when the laundry is folded just so. Faith is real. It's lived out in the moments when everything's falling apart and you're on your knees asking God for the strength to keep going.

Heather C: 13:12

Let me give you another example of Avery. She's my 16 year old and, like I said earlier, media guru. The other day, she was helping me set up something at home and everything that could go wrong. Did you know those moments? I could feel my anxiety rising and the pressure mounting and I snapped in frustration. But in that moment I felt so guilty. I thought to myself Heather, you should have been more patient. She is trying her best, she's been to school all day, she just picked up all your kids this afternoon, so you didn't have to go, and I'm losing it over something that doesn't even matter.

Heather C: 13:49

And then I realized this is where the real lessons happen. It's not in the flawless moments where everything's perfect. It's in the messy, stressful, imperfect moments where your kids see you lean on God, where they see you show grace to yourself and to them. I quickly apologized to Avery and I took a deep breath and finished the job. And you know what that was? A moment of real discipleship, because she saw me ask for forgiveness, she saw me rely on Jesus in the midst of a chaos and she saw me, in a weak moment, able to overcome. You see, when we have those moments of imperfection, when we mess up, when we lose our cool, when things don't go according to plan, it's the perfect opportunity to teach our kids about grace, real grace, the kind of grace that says I'm sorry, I messed up, but I'm still loved and I'm worthy of redemption. And that's exactly the message they need to hear.

Heather C: 14:53

So let me ask you a question when was the last time you felt like you had it all together. Probably never, right? If you do, you might need to start a podcast of your own, and I need to be listening because I don't know how you do it. Maybe you had a perfect morning once, but by noon somebody threw spaghetti on the wall. Your teenager found her attitude and let me tell you a real story.

Heather C: 15:16

The dog broke the chain and ran through town for several hours while you're out trying to find him, but little did you know he went to the actual police station of all places. And then you get back home, stressed because you can't find him. Your husband informs you as you come through the door that oh, he's home. Well, yay, I'm glad he came home, but, lord, it took three hours. Oh no, he didn't come by himself. He got chased by the dog catcher all the way to the door. And when you think you're really going to catch a break from the dog catcher because he's chased him home, by golly, the dog catcher writes you a ticket because he don't have no leash. But guess what? He broke it. It's just one of those days. And then I'm serious. That was a true story, story of my life. However, at that point I'm thinking to myself. It would have been a lot cheaper just to let the dog catcher take him and me go re-adopt him a couple days later, because that's one less mouth I would have to feed. But him and me go readopt him a couple days later, because that's one less mouth I would have to feed. But by golly, I love that dog, like we love our kids. And here we are.

Heather C: 16:20

But it's okay to admit that we don't have it all figured out. None of us do. We were never meant to have it all figured out. We were never meant to be perfect. We were meant to rely on Jesus. That's why we're built the way we are To let him fill in the gaps when we fall short. And we do fall short, mama, we all do. But here's the beautiful part Jesus is in there, he's in the gaps, he's in the chaos and he's in the mess.

Heather C: 16:45

I want you to think about this have you ever seen someone try to fill a jar with water but they just keep pouring it and it starts filling all over the edges? Right, the water represents God's love, his grace and His strength, and the jar is us. We're full of holes, imperfect, we have cracks. We're never gonna hold everything perfectly. You know what happens. That water His grace. It spills out onto everyone around us our kids, our family, our friends. We're not supposed to contain all the perfection. We're supposed to let His love flow through us, even in our imperfections.

Heather C: 17:23

I could get all caught up in the comparison game, right, you could too. I could look at the moms who seem to have it all together, with their clean homes and organized lives or really, it's just where. They took the picture and put it on social media, because if they get the angle just right, we don't see all the mess behind it. But I've learned that's a trap, because the truth is we're all just trying to get through each day with our hearts aligned with Jesus. We're all doing our best, and our kids see that. They see when we show up with full hearts, even if we don't have it all together, and that's the kind of faith that sticks with them. That's the kind of faith that will transform them. The real impact we make on our kids isn't about how many trophies they collect or how many awards we win. It's about how we handle the mess, how we respond to failure, how we lean into God in our exhaustion, how we extend grace even when we feel unworthy of it. Exhaustion. How we extend grace even when we feel unworthy of it, that's the faith our kids need to see the real, the raw, beautiful faith that says I'm not perfect, but I'm trusting God, with all the mess and that's enough.

Heather C: 18:33

Let me give you a scripture If you've got your Bibles, let's turn to Galatians 6.9. Let us not become wearyatians 6, 9. Mama, I know you're tired. I know you feel like you've been carrying the weight of the world, the weight of everyone's needs, the weight of your own expectations, the weight of everything that's on your plate right now. And every time you talk about it to a friend, she's got way more than you and comes back with her list, and then you don't know how to handle yours or hers at the same time.

Heather C: 19:08

But this scripture is a promise. You are sowing seeds, even when it feels like chaos, even when you can't see harvest yet, don't give up. Keep planting. God sees your effort, he sees your heart and he's faithful to bring forth a harvest at just the right time. You may not see it today and you may not see it tomorrow, but those seeds you're planting, they matter and they're growing.

Heather C: 19:37

So, mama, you're doing better than you think. I know it's hard to see it in the middle of the chaos, but God is using you, he's using your mess, he's using your heart, your love, your presence to make an internal impact on your kids' lives. So don't give up, don't let the pressure of perfect hold you back. Keep showing up, keep loving, keep pressing on, because Jesus is with you and his grace is enough. Remember, you don't have to be perfect, you just have to be present. And when you show up for your kids, showing them what it looks like to trust God, to love him, to walk with Him, to praise Him in that storm, you are doing the most important thing you can do. Here's to grace, here's to presence and here's to the real, messy, beautiful journey of motherhood, because we have to remember he's in the midst. See you next episode.