In The Midst
A podcast where we get real, raw, and redemptive, all while keeping Jesus at the center. I’m your host, Heather, a Jesus-loving, grace-walking, sports-toting, dance-momming mama of four. My life is full of loud car rides, fast food wrappers, missing socks, and wild schedules but more than anything, it's full of the presence of God.
Anchor Scripture for This Season:
Psalm 46:5 (NIV)
“God is within her, she will not fall; God will help her at break of day.”
This verse is a promise for every episode, every listener, and every storm. You can’t fall when God is in the middle of it. He is your strength, your steady place, and your saving grace.
Let’s laugh, cry, heal, and grow, together.
Let’s get real. Let’s get free. Let’s find Jesus In the midst.
In The Midst
We're Not Perfect, But We Know Who We Belong To
What happens when the chaos of modern parenting meets the unchanging truth of Scripture? In this intimate episode, I'm joined by my daughters Avery (16) and Molly (13) as we pull back the curtain on the beautiful mess of raising faith-centered kids in a distracted world.
Ever struggled with Sunday morning softball tournaments versus church attendance? Or wrestled with when to allow social media access while everyone else seems to have fewer boundaries? You're not alone. Together, we dive into the real tensions Christian families face daily—from packed calendars that leave little room for Jesus to the countercultural choices that sometimes make our kids feel different from their peers.
"We're not raising followers, we're raising leaders," becomes our family's north star as we navigate these challenges. Avery shares wisdom beyond her years about spiritual nourishment: "You can't pour into people if you're not pouring into yourself first." Meanwhile, Molly offers refreshing honesty about learning that "it's not about followers, it's about being faithful." Through their experiences, we unpack Proverbs 22:6 and Romans 12:2, discovering that training children isn't about perfection—it's about truth.
The most liberating revelation? Our family isn't perfect. We run late, say things we shouldn't, and regularly mess up. But we've built a home where everyone knows they can always come back to grace, back to truth, and most importantly, back to Jesus. Because at the end of the day, "We're not a perfect family, but we know who we belong to, and that makes all the difference."
Listen now to find encouragement for your parenting journey and practical wisdom for keeping Jesus at the center even when everything feels chaotic. Share your thoughts with us and subscribe for more conversations that meet you right in the midst of it all.
We are a free Christian/Family podcast. However, with your support, we can further the kingdom and provide access to this podcast around the world. We appreciate you giving as it will be used for the kingdom. If you can't support monetarily, we ask you to pray that God continue to be the center of this mission and stories heard through this podcast are a reflection of his goodness. We are thankful for you tuning in and hope you find blessing, In the Midst. -Love HC
Hey everyone, welcome back to In the Midst, the place where we gather in the chaos, in the questions and in the calling. I'm your host, heather Cox, and today's episode is a special one because I'm not alone. I've got two incredible young women with me who just so happen to be my daughters. Say hello to Avery and Molly.
Speaker 2:Hey y'all, I'm Avery, I'm 16 years old and some of my favorite hobbies include anything arts related singing, dancing, anything I can create. My newest interest is in media communications content creating. I found a love for photography that I didn't know I had. I'm involved on the youth social media team with a friend of mine and I am really involved in my high school's journalism class where I write for the newspaper and create videos for that social media, and that's a little bit about me.
Speaker 1:So let's hear a little bit about Molly.
Speaker 2:I'm Molly and I'm 13 years old. I play softball almost every weekend and have found a new love for cheer. This is actually my first summer not swimming on the swim team and also my first year not trying out for basketball. I work really hard to be good at what I am and what I love, but I hate to take a spot of someone that loves it more than I do. I'm focusing on cheer, weightlifting and softball.
Speaker 1:Today we're diving deep into the realities of Christian parenting in a world that moves fast, demands much and often distracts us from what really matters. What really matters, we'll take schedules, sports boundaries and talk about how to keep your heart fixed on Jesus even when everything around you feels messy. So the girls and I have had a lot of conversations recently and let's just be honest, raising kids in today's world is a lot Between games, rehearsals, laundry, church and a business to run. I've learned the only way to stay sane is to stay centered. Some weeks I feel like a calendar ninja. Other weeks I lose track of what day it is. Even when life is full, I want it to be full of purpose.
Speaker 1:Proverbs 22.6 tells us Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not depart from it. That doesn't mean train them in perfection. It means train them in truth. We make decisions daily based on what honors God, not what just adds to a resume. When Molly said she was taking a step back from basketball to focus on her fitness and give more to softball, I knew that that took maturity and reflection. She's learning to say no to good things so she can say yes to the right things. As a mom, the hardest part isn't the logistics, it's the spiritual battle, because the world wants our kids distracted. Spiritual battle because the world wants our kids distracted, overcommitted and self-focused. But God's called us to something deeper. Molly, how did you feel when softball tournaments fell on Sundays? Or how do you feel when they fall on Sundays and we have to make those tough choices?
Speaker 2:It's hard a lot of the time because I love my church but I also love my softball team. We've talked about honoring God wherever we are and I try to carry that with me on the field. Stepping away from other activities this summer like swim team and basketball. It was very hard for me, but I know it's the right step for where I'm going and who I want to be.
Speaker 1:And who do you want to be? An athlete that honors God, and how do you think an athlete can honor God?
Speaker 2:By athlete that honors God. And how do you think an athlete can honor?
Speaker 1:God by using our platforms to only shine him. Avery same question. When you've had dance performances or VAs that make it hard to be at church or youth nights, what's your mindset on that?
Speaker 2:I think that you know you can use your platform in all of these sports and pour into them, but if you don't have enough time in church yourself, you don't have that.
Speaker 2:Your cup's not full enough to pour into someone else's. And I think that we all need to have a rebalance of being in church, because us, as Christians, just because we're leaders and we step up, we still have to be um like, we still have to sit back and let someone lead us sometimes. So I think it's like I think it's really important to be in church because if you're not in church, you're starving the rest of the week. And, like something our pastor says all the time, if you only eat on Sunday, you're going to starve the rest of the week. So you can't go into your dance classes or your softball games and pour into people if you're not pouring into yourself. So that's really my mindset on being on church on Sunday and being at Wednesday nights, because you know I can't do it all. I can't stretch myself thin and give to everyone else if I'm not giving to myself first.
Speaker 1:Wow, that's pretty mature as a 16-year-old to be able to recognize all of those things. And one thing that we do a lot of times around here and maybe the girls don't even notice. But taking our decisions back biblically and Romans 12, 2 tells us do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. That verse stays on repeat or in my mind, because there's so many things that we look at that our girls are great at. But they also have to recognize that our greatness is given from above, and so we have to refocus and lean into what God has for us when we are using our platforms, and so we want to make sure that we recenter Him and we're not taking away from what he wants to do with our lives just because everything falls on Sunday or Wednesday night, all right. So let's kind of shift gears a little bit and let's talk about what it's like being one of the four siblings, molly.
Speaker 2:Oh Lord, let's just say you have to fight for the front seat constantly and you're always fighting for the last slice of pizza, the last wing, it doesn't matter what it is, you're fighting for it. It's wild, but it's always good to have somebody around. Avery, what are you thinking? It's always noise, but, like, you always come back to people you know you can talk to.
Speaker 2:Molly's always been my built-in best friend and I think that, like, just because there's noise doesn't mean there's not, like that's love, like that's people that will constantly support you. And I think, think, like God I always say God puts people in your life. I think siblings are like a testament to that. Like they are your biggest supporters. They're always there, no matter what they're going through. You know you have someone to go through it together. So I think, like I wouldn't give up the noise and, as I'm like approaching going to college, that's my biggest uh fear is not having that noise, because that noise brings me peace and joy and that's what I, like I have, that's what I feel. You know my future decisions on is like, if I do this, is it a good choice? Looking and reflecting towards my siblings, so I think you know I'm really blessed to have three of them, and I'm not trying to be biased, but I feel like they're the best.
Speaker 1:Are they always your best friends?
Speaker 2:Well, molly's punched me over an eyelash curler. I'm Lucy's least favorite and Bubba says that he doesn't have a favorite. And I know it's me, but Bubba says that he doesn't have a favorite and I know it's me.
Speaker 1:Only that he sleeps with.
Speaker 2:Molly half the time. But Bubba always comes to me when he has, like, an emotional problem or like he's having a bad day and so like I'm so glad I get to have those moments, even though he may beat me up or, you know, we might be in a big fight or I might be a dummy or a butthole. You know some people don't get that, so it's just, it is a blessing.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and we've always said you know that dad and I are not your buddies, we're your parents and our rules I think I that dad and I are not your buddies, we're your parents, and our rules I think I've said this this week at least once are for protection, and we mean what we say, and so some of the things that we have had to say no to or wait have been because we love you.
Speaker 2:I used to hate when our parents would say that to me. It always made me feel like, oh, I don't have cool parents or whatever. But as I've gotten older I've learned that it really is for what's best for us. And like, for an example, like social media, you make us wait to see why you may say no to that social media. You make us wait to see why you may say no to them. I think you know I've the one that's heard it a lot is I'm not your best friend, I'm your mom well, you're the oldest um, but that that piece of advice, like I've watched.
Speaker 2:You know, mom always says you know, like mom's know best, and she may tell me something and I at first I'm like you don't know, you haven't gone through this, you know, like this is my life, this isn't your life, we're not going through the same things.
Speaker 2:You don't understand. But as I've gotten older, I found myself like where I used to hug on to the advice of friends which might, you know, lead me to a place of I'm in the wrong and it was the wrong decision because they are teenagers and they, you know they're not mature. I find myself now like running to my parents advice because they are the ones who've dealt with similar things, because you know they may say you know the times are different, but they're all really similar. Um, some situations may be different, but like the same stupid stuff teenagers do they've been doing for years. And I think that, uh, my mom like not being my best friend is probably the best thing, because you know you need that mature aspect, you need someone to tell you no, so yeah, well, and if we look at first, timothy 4.12 by Avery, I think you have that verse.
Speaker 2:So it says don't let anyone look down on you because you were young, but set an example.
Speaker 1:And that's something I see in both of you, and I'm giggling because sometimes I'll hear people say, well, you like to watch one more than the other will say, well, you like to watch one more than the other. But stage field, whatever the platform may be, it's just really cool to watch you guys be successful. And one of the biggest battles right now for families is social media, our approach, tyler and I, you know, waiting longer than culture says it's normal, I know and I'm laughing because one of the things that we've talked about this week Molly wants TikTok and I've said no. How many times.
Speaker 2:A lot.
Speaker 1:Probably at least three today.
Speaker 1:And you know, not because we're mean, but because we believe in strong roots before we build a reach, and we want her to be mature enough to be able to answer to what those things will put in her life.
Speaker 1:It's not a giving situation, it's a take. And so, yes, we can utilize social media for a lot of things to give us certain knowledge or recipes or cool dance moves or interaction with others, but it also takes away time from what your purpose and platform may be if we're not utilizing it for those things. And so, when we have those conversations, one thing Tyler and I have always based our no on is a why. Because when we're told no, we want to understand the reasoning behind that, and we believe that, for our kids too, one of the things that I try to watch myself in not saying is because I said so. It's really not because I said so, it's because we want to protect you or we love you, or there's reason because of the no. And so I think Avery can kind of speak on and not always being fun to wait um it it's not fun to wait because, like you feel like you're missing out.
Speaker 2:But as someone who is really interested and like wants to continue their like career path in communications and social media, you learn a lot of stuff. And that's where I've been taken aback, like with learning how to do stuff the right way and like running the church's social media. I always think about it like would I want this on you know Pauline's youth page, like if it, you know? Um, I think a lot of us this day and age we learn to just like hide behind a screen and text it or, you know, call. But like I've had to learn to face problems like like face-to-face, and like something the other day, um my dad was saying is nobody knows how to give a handshake. We're at Molly's Beta Club Convention or her induction, and they couldn't give a handshake and I was like stuff these days are so different, like even when I was in middle school and the things that like uh, uh, you know just different views on things. But I think like waiting showed me how to use stuff the right way and like what's wrong and what's right.
Speaker 1:I don't know if that it does it makes sense, and I think um Molly looking at it in a in a way to just be faithful to who she is and what she stands for, and I'll let her speak on that.
Speaker 2:I've learned like it's not about followers and it's about being faithful, and I'm also learning to be okay with that, yeah, and that right.
Speaker 1:there is why we're doing it differently. Mamas, don't be afraid to parent counter-culturally. You're not raising followers, you're raising leaders. And so one of the things that I want to make sure that we talk about as we end our we're messy, but we're focused is our family is not perfect. Would y'all think we're perfect? Absolutely not, and so we run late on most occasions, um, and say things we shouldn't, but at the end of the day, we come, come back to Jesus, we circle up, we say sorry, we laugh, we cry and we refocus. And so in Joshua 24, 15, as for me and my house, we will serve the Lord. That doesn't mean that we're going to serve Him flawlessly. It means we're going to serve Him faithfully, even in the mess. So we win together, we fall together and we grow together, because it's not about the image, it's about the impact, and we believe our impact starts at home.
Speaker 2:We're not a perfect family, but we know who we belong to and that makes all the difference. We mess up, we always come back. We always have a seat at a table. Back to grace, back to truth and, most importantly, back to Jesus.
Speaker 1:And that's what this is about Not raising perfect kids even though sometimes I think they're pretty perfect, living picture-perfect lives, but choosing to stay close to Jesus in the middle of it all. I know it gets overwhelming, because there's times I'm writing we have an expo marker board is that what y'all would call it Calendar in the kitchen, and every month, on a Sunday night, when it's close to the first, I erase it all and get different color markers and put everybody's plan and schedule on the board. And the more and more I write, I'm like wow, like where is there room for family or for Jesus? And sometimes we have to refocus that and have conversations with our kids. Yes, we've committed to different teams or different things. However, we have to make sure that our commitment to Jesus isn't flawed in all of those things, because you can overpack your calendar so full that not only are you exhausted, your kids are exhausted, but Jesus is probably exhausted even thinking about where he's going to fit in your life, because he's trying to use you for purpose, and not just for purpose but for impact.
Speaker 1:And so I'm going to pray over us before I let you guys go, as I know that this has kind of been short and sweet and it's a take from a 13-year-old and a 16-year-old. So let me pray for you, lord. Thank you for every mom listening today. Thank you for giving her courage to parent with conviction and compassion. Let her know that she's not alone in the struggle. Strengthen the families that feel stretched, refocus the homes that feel scattered and, most of all, keep us and our eyes on you In Jesus name. Amen. Thank you so much for being with us today.
Speaker 2:Thank you for letting us share our side of kind of culture in a teenager's eyes. It was so fun to be here today and I hope other girls like us know that it's okay to be different when you're living for jesus we'll see you next time.
Speaker 1:Friends, stay anchored in grace, stay present in the chaos and always come back to jesus, right in the midst of it all.