A Card Without A Candy Cane Can Ruin A Twelve-Year-Old’s Christmas

A missing candy cane should not be enough to derail Christmas, and yet here we are: two mates unpacking why small details matter when the stakes feel big. We start with the joy of holidays and the unfiltered bliss of sleeping till midday, then wander into year eight nerves, quiet wishes for fewer crowds and the strange comfort of a lazy summer day. The conversation is fast, funny and a little too honest, the kind of back-and-forth that makes you remember the texture of being twelve and the humour it takes to be fifty.

Our fishing adventure is a comedy of errors: a shiny new rod without a reel, a breezy bridge session with zero bites, and the eternal question of who actually knows what they’re doing. Between the teasing and tall tales, we dig into real gear advice for beginners, why a combo can beat fancy parts, and how ego sneaks into simple hobbies. Food becomes personality as we fight it out over onions, tomatoes and the rightful throne of sour worms. It’s messy, specific and wonderfully human.

Then a curveball: life expectancy numbers on a phone screen and a blunt reckoning with time. The ten-year thought experiment opens a quiet space for dreams that don’t involve passports or fireworks. Instead we hear about choosing solitude over noise, finding comfort in routine and learning how small rituals carry the season. We close with the school reality few adults see—vapes in bathrooms, pressure cooking early—and the joke that holds the heart of the episode: if you’re going to give a card at Christmas, put the candy cane in. Hit play for laughs, a few gentle gut checks and a reminder that the best gifts are thoughtful, simple and complete. If you enjoyed this, follow the show, share it with a friend and leave a quick review to help more listeners find us.

Transcript

SPEAKER_03 0:17

Well over connecting the other plan and I've got my mate Declan here. How are you, mate? Good, good. Hey, holiday time. Hmm? Holidays?

SPEAKER_01 0:26

Yeah. Pretty good? It's lovely. Are you missing school, to be honest? I'm missing. Sorry, Mike. Never wanted to go back in my life.

SPEAKER_04 0:35

You're going back up to year eight, too, aren't you?

SPEAKER_00 0:38

Uh yeah, I think good?

SPEAKER_04 0:41

Do you think it'll just be the same as you seven?

SPEAKER_01 0:44

Uh oh. Six, seven. Like six, seven, seven.

SPEAKER_03 0:50

Seven, eight?

SPEAKER_01 0:51

No. You just ruined it. Okay, sorry. Shut up.

SPEAKER_04 0:54

Okay. Um so let's get into it. Because last time I asked you this question, I think you this is the only question you struggled with, so I'm gonna ask you again right now. What is something that Declan is thankful for?

SPEAKER_01 1:08

Um Christmas. Yeah. And um and the holidays.

SPEAKER_04 1:12

Well, two things nice. Is there something you're looking forward to doing in the holidays or just in chill?

Sleep-Ins And Midday Wake-Ups

SPEAKER_01 1:18

Fucking chill. Yeah. Sleep in. All I want.

SPEAKER_04 1:23

Let's talk about sleep in now. I heard this morning you had a bit of a sleep in. Shall we talk about that?

SPEAKER_01 1:28

Yeah, yeah, yeah. What time do you sleep in, Till? Like twelve.

SPEAKER_02 1:33

And you got woke it up too, didn't you?

SPEAKER_01 1:36

Oh. I think I woke up by myself. Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 1:41

So midday.

SPEAKER_01 1:42

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 1:43

Good sleep? Yeah, lovely sleep. So what's the plan? Is it um in holidays? Do you have a bit more, I guess, free reign to sleep, stay up as long as you want, and then you can sleep in? Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 1:54

Is that good?

SPEAKER_04 1:55

Yeah, nice. Alright. Um, alright, so you finished year seven and you're going to year eight. You're on holidays, you enjoy holidays. What are you looking forward to most about Christmas?

SPEAKER_01 2:08

I don't know.

unknown 2:12

Uh okay.

Christmas Vibes And Present Sleuthing

SPEAKER_04 2:18

Well, you do you enjoy the Christmas like the presence part of it or the just the relaxed part of it, or do you like the presentation?

SPEAKER_01 2:24

Most of the time when there's presents, I know what I what's under it.

SPEAKER_02 2:28

You need to know, don't you?

SPEAKER_01 2:30

Because I like do a little test, see, see through it, shake it.

SPEAKER_04 2:35

Well, let's tell the listeners this. When I gave you a little Christmas present today, you were doing that, weren't you?

SPEAKER_01 2:41

Yeah, I was shaking it and trying to see through it. You had no idea, did you? Uh didn't know what it was.

SPEAKER_04 2:46

That was good. And um so I got you a fishing rod which I'm not happy with, so I'm happy to take that back.

The Fishing Rod Gift And Bridge Bust

SPEAKER_01 2:52

Um Yeah, just uh you just didn't get me a reel. You must have stolen it.

SPEAKER_04 2:57

Yeah, it wasn't real, was it?

SPEAKER_01 2:59

It wasn't very real.

SPEAKER_04 3:00

No. No, so I can I'm happy to take that back if you like.

SPEAKER_01 3:04

I think I'm fine.

unknown 3:06

Okay.

SPEAKER_04 3:06

Um tell us about your fishing skills today on the bridge.

SPEAKER_01 3:11

Oh, that was best time ever. I think. How long were we out there? Like an hour?

SPEAKER_04 3:18

If that, maybe 40 minutes, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 3:20

45 minutes. Uh 50, give or take. 50.

SPEAKER_05 3:23

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 3:25

And we got the biggest snapper ever. Yeah, no. We caught nothing. Nothing.

SPEAKER_03 3:31

Too much run.

SPEAKER_01 3:32

It was not it was just boring. I didn't even get a bite. No. Me and Aubrey didn't get a bite.

SPEAKER_04 3:39

It's like the it's like the um bike just kept fine because I was bind to the new moon or moon, that's what I want. Um, do you think it's just because you don't sort of work with the rod very well? Maybe I should take that rod off your hands and swap rods.

SPEAKER_01 3:53

No, no, no, no. It's warming up to me. Or because I can I can keep it warm for you. No, I I need to warm it up to me. Okay.

Coolness Expiry Dates And Mortality

SPEAKER_04 4:03

This is this is the truth, but when I bought that rod for you, because it is a good rod, when I saw you with it today, you actually look it's like a sweetie. It's like, damn it, this guy looks cool, and this rod actually sits in. So um, I was a little bit envious about that. When when you're 50, can you still be cool or not? No, not really. It's all over. What what's the age where you get to when you're it's not cool anymore?

SPEAKER_01 4:31

It depends on the person.

SPEAKER_02 4:33

Oh, so long as it's uh there is a person who could be.

SPEAKER_01 4:36

But there is just an age where it just stops being cool.

SPEAKER_02 4:39

Yeah, it is, isn't it?

SPEAKER_04 4:41

That's why 35, I reckon. 15 years ago. So you've got plenty of time then. You got like 23 years to be cool.

SPEAKER_01 4:53

23 23 rotations around the sun.

SPEAKER_04 4:57

That's a long time. How old are you? 50? So I'll be 73.

SPEAKER_01 5:02

You have a statistical chance to die by that.

SPEAKER_02 5:07

We're getting a bad reading. That's awesome. Oh, I feel really good just before Christmas. So I think that's awesome.

Is It True Game Begins

SPEAKER_04 5:16

I think my friend Declan. Um, alright. So we're gonna play a game of um Is It True? So I'm gonna ask you a question, and you have to say yes or no, and you can justify it if you want. Your answer of yes or no. You ready? Is it true that Gary is more handsome than Declan? False. You're just gonna have the game works. Or do you know the rules? Or you have to tell the truth in this game. You gotta tell a truth in this game, others doesn't work.

SPEAKER_01 5:54

I'm telling the truth.

SPEAKER_04 5:56

Is it true that Gary is a better fisherman than Declan?

SPEAKER_01 6:00

False.

SPEAKER_04 6:04

Is it true that Declan would probably be better a better gamer than Gary? Is it true that Declan sleeps longer than Gary? Is it true that Declan is allergic to salad on his chili burgers?

Burgers, Onions, And Lolly Debates

SPEAKER_01 6:22

I don't like onions. That's what I hate on burgers. Why?

SPEAKER_04 6:27

Just fuck onions. What when was the last time you had an onion? When was the last time you actually had one? What do you mean? Well I this is what happens in our family. Our girls go, I hate onions. They go, have you tried it? And they go, no.

unknown 6:39

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 6:40

I've tried onions. When? How old were you? Three? Six, seven? Like how old?

SPEAKER_01 6:44

Like a couple days ago.

SPEAKER_03 6:46

On what?

SPEAKER_01 6:48

On uh um McDonald's quarter pounder. And no good. I don't like them.

SPEAKER_04 6:56

But you also like tomato either.

SPEAKER_01 7:01

I'd like and hate tomato. I hate big tomatoes on burgers where it's just half the burger is the tomato. Oh, it's so thick.

SPEAKER_04 7:10

Alright. Do you like pickles on the burger?

SPEAKER_01 7:13

I don't mind them.

SPEAKER_04 7:14

Okay. Um what's better, a beef burger or a chicken burger? Beef. Is it true that you're a vegetarian? What? Okay, here's a here's what I just want to make. Is it true that you have not taken me to the best spot yet?

SPEAKER_01 7:46

False.

SPEAKER_04 7:49

You just showed me something. Come on, read what you just showed me. Read exactly what you just showed me on your phone.

SPEAKER_01 7:54

The world's average life expectancy is around 73 years old.

Life Expectancy And Ten-Year Bucket Dreams

SPEAKER_04 7:59

Okay, now on Google in Australia, what is it? That's the world. Just say life expectancy for a male in Australia. See what it says.

SPEAKER_01 8:07

I know what it is though. Give me some confidence here. I can't give you that confidence.

SPEAKER_04 8:12

Is it true that it's bigger than 73?

SPEAKER_01 8:14

It's bigger than 73.

SPEAKER_04 8:16

Yes. I've got ages yet. You don't know. How much more is it? Is it 80? Eh. 79.

SPEAKER_01 8:26

Like 76.

SPEAKER_04 8:30

So you say you've only got maximum like 26 years left.

SPEAKER_01 8:33

You got like a max of 10 years.

SPEAKER_04 8:35

I'm cooked. I'm cooked. Okay, so if you knew you had 10 years left, what would you do? Give me three top things you want to do. And be serious, like three big things. Um let's dream a little bit. What would you do?

SPEAKER_01 8:49

What do you mean? Scream?

SPEAKER_04 8:51

No dream. Any any time and money? You have three things you have to do.

SPEAKER_01 8:54

Any time and money.

SPEAKER_04 8:56

Yeah, ten years left to live. Um I do like how you're thinking about this.

SPEAKER_01 9:06

There's not much that I really want to do.

SPEAKER_04 9:08

Is it? Like if you want to live in America for a year or no, fuck the Americans. Hey, woo, woo, woo.

SPEAKER_01 9:15

We're like their little brother, Australia. We do anything they tell us.

SPEAKER_04 9:20

Well, what is it you'd like to do?

SPEAKER_01 9:22

We'd like to go somewhere, go to a different country.

SPEAKER_04 9:25

You love bribey, don't you?

SPEAKER_01 9:28

I don't like just a lot of people.

SPEAKER_04 9:30

Okay. So it's like doing your own sort of being.

SPEAKER_01 9:33

Like being alone.

SPEAKER_04 9:34

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 9:35

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 9:36

Okay. So do you find this harder to chat? Mm-hmm. Do you find this harder to chat then?

SPEAKER_01 9:41

No.

SPEAKER_04 9:41

Okay. Okay, a couple more. Is it true that chocolates are better than lollies?

SPEAKER_01 9:50

It depends on the chocolate.

SPEAKER_04 9:52

Okay. You you have a year supply of either chocolate or lollies. The best of your of each one, what do you choose them? Lollies. And what's uh what's your go-to lolly?

SPEAKER_01 10:05

The the sour worms.

SPEAKER_04 10:07

Oh, they're nice. Actually have one of them. And um is it true that Gary gave you a beautiful card with the candy cane so? He's reaching for the card here. I took my time, had some nice words on there.

SPEAKER_01 10:24

Dear Declan. Thank Dear. Can't really write.

SPEAKER_04 10:29

I can't. I should have been a doctor if I was.

SPEAKER_01 10:30

You weren't you a teacher before this?

SPEAKER_04 10:32

Yeah, PE teacher.

SPEAKER_01 10:33

P. E. Oh, smart as well. Yeah, you you read it. I can't understand it.

The Candy Cane Card Meltdown

SPEAKER_04 10:40

Dear Declan, thank you for going fishing with me and making me feel good because I caught more fish than you. I'm sorry that you can't be as good a fisherman than me. I've bought you a fishing rod, however, on second thoughts.

SPEAKER_01 10:51

I can't even read.

SPEAKER_04 10:52

I think I should take it home because you won't have good use because you won't be able to catch a fish. The fishing rod has feelings too. I think Gary should keep it because I'm halfway through reading that mate.

SPEAKER_01 11:03

You read like 15 words. There's only 10 words on there, man.

SPEAKER_04 11:09

I wrote down a nice card and he blew up the lights. I didn't have the candy gang in it. It's fucking Christmas.

SPEAKER_01 11:14

Who doesn't get a candy gang? Like, what?

SPEAKER_02 11:21

Who's Noel?

SPEAKER_01 11:23

Who's Noel? Noel. Why is that on the card?

SPEAKER_02 11:28

I'm losing it here. Okay.

unknown 11:30

Is it?

SPEAKER_01 11:31

Does it even form? Do you really use the same card? Do you know?

SPEAKER_02 11:37

Because if you think your nickname from the fine Noel. Okay. A question I want you to answer truthfully, right? Is it true that when you pull the card out, you expected it to be a candy candy? Yeah. I actually feel bad now. Would it would it make up for you if I actually posted one for you?

SPEAKER_01 12:04

No, because it's ruined. It probably wouldn't get to me till after Christmas.

SPEAKER_04 12:09

So basically you say, I'll spoil Christmas. I've read Christmas. It's Christmas over now.

SPEAKER_01 12:14

You've ruined my Christmas. And my Happy New Year.

SPEAKER_04 12:16

Well, if you're not taking a PlayStation and buy then.

SPEAKER_01 12:19

You can take my old one. I don't care. It'll just cost you a hundred.

SPEAKER_04 12:23

That's how it's just set up. Well that's perfect. Hmm? That's how we talked about today, how it's got set up.

SPEAKER_00 12:28

Yeah.

Reels, Birthdays, And Rod Custody

SPEAKER_04 12:30

Oh, okay. Well, I've been told I'm gonna die soon. I've been told a wreck for Christmas. Been told I'm secondhand a card.

SPEAKER_02 12:37

Anything else that's bagging before I go. You've done a good job.

SPEAKER_04 12:41

My feelings are gone, so my self-esteem's gone.

SPEAKER_01 12:43

So buy me a combo next time.

SPEAKER_04 12:48

What's a combo?

SPEAKER_01 12:49

Like a rod and reel combo.

SPEAKER_04 12:51

Well, this is the truth. I was going to buy you that, but the rod is very expensive and it was a good quality rod. So I decided not to win the room.

SPEAKER_00 13:00

So you cheaped out on me.

SPEAKER_04 13:02

No, but an expensive rod. It's dearer than a rod and reel combo. But I will show you the reel to get next. And is this your birthday in February?

SPEAKER_01 13:10

20th of February. You're buying me a reel.

SPEAKER_04 13:14

Well no, the rod will be fresh because you won't catch any fish by it, so you only take it?

SPEAKER_01 13:21

No, no, no.

SPEAKER_04 13:22

I can warm it up now.

SPEAKER_01 13:24

No, I think it will have to stay here. It doesn't like to go places, it hates travelling.

SPEAKER_04 13:30

Does it?

SPEAKER_01 13:31

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 13:32

Okay, well got nothing for that. Well, thanks for being on the podcast. No, I wouldn't trust people's tattoos either. How many have you got?

SPEAKER_01 13:43

Well, since I'm 12 I've got like uh a whole arm sleeve, you know?

School Vapes And Growing Up Fast

SPEAKER_04 13:50

I've heard you've done other things that uh not appropriate for 12 year olds, so we've covered that with Mike, say it. We won't go to that podcast with that, will we? Say it. No, no, I just heard that some some people in bribery titles fear vapes and stuff. I'm pretty sure that's illegal for people under 12. Not saying you did it, I'm saying 12 year olds in general should be doing it.

SPEAKER_01 14:08

Go into a school bathroom and you'll see any school. You'll see very illegal things happening. Any school. Any school. You are a teacher, you should know this. Maybe you should be a policeman, you don't know. Fuck no. Well.

SPEAKER_02 14:33

To run the bounce.

Farewells And A Christmas Wish

SPEAKER_04 14:35

It's cool. I'm cooked. You're cooked, yeah. Okay, fine. Hey mate, thanks for coming on the show. That was really good. Really awesome to have you on here and talking about those things and make me feel awesome for Christmas. Appreciate that.

SPEAKER_01 14:46

Yeah, you only have um like 20 Christmases.

unknown 14:49

That's right.

SPEAKER_04 14:50

Well, hopefully I'll get some candy canes myself, so I can just gift them on. And um, I hope you have a really good Christmas. What did I do? He's turned it all off. He's getting bored. Um, I hope you have a good Christmas to your family.