Do It Scared: Why Confidence Comes After Action

What if the confidence you’re waiting for is actually on the other side of action? In this episode, Zach explores one of the most common misconceptions in performance and personal growth: The belief that we must feel confident before we act. Zach shares a powerful story from Rory Vaden’s book Take the Stairs and explores why fear is not always a sign that you’re incapable, unprepared, or not ready.

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Transcript

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Have you ever noticed how often we tell ourselves I'll do it when I feel more confident? When I work with athletes, coaches, and leaders, one of the most common misconceptions that I encounter is the belief that confidence comes before action. We assume that if we're nervous, uncertain, or afraid, it just signals that we're not ready. We assume that it means that we're incapable. But years ago I read a great story that offered a reminder that there are gonna be moments and instances in life where we're gonna have to do something meaningful even when we don't feel confident. So today on the podcast, we're gonna discuss why sometimes the most important thing you can do is simply do what matters most even while you're scared. Hey coaches and leaders, I got a quick question for you. You spend a lot of time building game plans for those you lead, but when was the last time you built one for yourself? If you're looking to sharpen your leadership skills, strengthen your team culture, or find better ways to support and challenge your athletes in the mental game, I'd love to help. I'm offering a free coaching call where we can talk through your current challenges and create a simple game plan for what might move the needle most for you, your players, and your program. Most coaches I know obsess over developing their team, but they neglect the person in the mirror. This call is a chance to invest in you because a better you is going to produce a better them. And if that sounds helpful, you can grab a time at Callendly.com slash Zach Brandon. That's Callinly.com slash Zach Brandon, or just check the link in the show notes. I'd love to connect and explore how I can best support you. Now today's story comes from the book Take the Stairs by Rory Vaden. The story involves a woman trapped in a burning building, and she's terrified. Not only is the building on fire, but she's also deeply afraid of heights and enclosed spaces. Now the firefighters arrive and they begin evacuating people down the stairwell, but when they find her, she refuses to move. She's hiding under a desk, and the firefighters try to reassure her, but she keeps repeating the same thing. I'm scared, I can't do it, I'm scared. Now finally, one firefighter looks at her, puts his arm around her, and says, I've got you. You can be scared. Do it scared. He didn't tell her not to be scared, just simply do it scared. And I think one of the biggest mistakes that we make is assuming that fear is a sign that we should stop. We interpret fear as evidence that we're not ready or that maybe we're incapable. We think if we're nervous before the presentation or uncertain about a decision, anxious about a conversation or intimidated by an opportunity, then it means that we should wait. Maybe we need to put in more work, more preparation, or improve our skills because once we do this, then maybe all of a sudden I'll feel more ready to actually do the thing. Most of the meaningful moments in our lives arrive packaged with uncertainty and fear. When we ask somebody out on a date, we do it scared. When we apply to a new job, sometimes we do it scared. When we start the business for the first time, we do it scared. When we become parents, we do it scared. And when we have difficult conversations, oftentimes we do it when it's gift wrapped with fear and us feeling scared. So many people are waiting for a feeling that actually never arrives. They're waiting to feel confident enough, ready enough, maybe qualified enough. The problem is that confidence is often the result of action, not the prerequisite for it. We tend to think the formula looks something like this. We'll be confident and then we'll take action. But in reality, it often looks a lot more like we encounter fear, then we maybe take some action. Hopefully we accrue and acquire some evidence of what we were able to do irrespective of how we felt. And then that evidence can become sources of fuel and confidence for us down the road. The athletes and coaches and leaders that we admire most, they're not fearless. They've simply learned that fear doesn't get the final vote. They understand that courage isn't the absence of fear. It's oftentimes action despite it. And every time they act anyway, they collect evidence that they can handle more than they originally thought. So the next time that you find yourself hesitating, pay attention to the story that you're telling yourself. Are you saying things to yourself like I'm not ready? Maybe I need a little more confidence. What if I fail? Or maybe uh later I'll just simply wait. And then try adding a few words to whatever emotions that you're feeling. Simply add, and that's okay. I'm nervous and that's okay. I'm uncertain and that's okay. I'm scared and that's okay. The goal isn't to remove the feeling, the goal is to stop treating the feeling like a reason not to act in the first place. So all this brings us to don't forget that confidence isn't always going to be available. It's not always gonna be on demand and something that we can access in all these different moments in our lives. But courage, I think, can be. Courage is deciding that what matters is more important than what you feel in a given moment. So if there's something that you've been putting off until you feel ready, consider this reminder. You don't have to be fearless, you don't have to be certain, and you don't even have to be confident, you just have to be willing to take the next step. And if fear comes along for the ride, that's okay too. Just do it scared.