5 - RHOM, RHOA, The Valley, 90 Day Fiancé, and Love Hotel

Lil and Madelyn are back to discuss the currently airing shows (Real Housewives of Miami, Real Housewives of Atlanta, The Valley, Love Hotel, and 90 Day Fiancé), as well as a bit about Black Mirror. They also discuss whether or not Lil's husband is in the Witness Protection Program, puffy filler faces, and upcoming movies they're looking forward to!

Transcript

SPEAKER_00: 0:09

Welcome to Rather Be Rotting, where two sisters who should really be doing something more productive dissect all things reality, TV, and pop culture chaos, because no matter what's going on in life, we would always rather be rotting.

SPEAKER_01: 0:23

One up.

SPEAKER_00: 0:31

Hi. How's it going, Madeline? Pretty good. How are you? Oh, you know. I just got back from Austin. How was it? Really hot. Sweaty. Really sweaty. Swamp crotch. A lot of swamp crotch. A lot of sweat in general and crevices. You know, it's a cool city, I will say. I got some cool stuff like Christmas ornaments, which is my go-to. Did you buy me a present? No. I bought a puzzle that we can do together when you come visit. You know I hate puzzles. Well, I love them, so it'll be fun. Whatever you want, Lil. Well, welcome back. Thanks. Happy to be here. I could never live in Texas. No offense. It's just so hot. It's like oppressively hot. Is it muggy? Um, kind of. Did you wear your cowboy boots? I did, but they didn't get it. No, I only wore them on the last day and they didn't get enough attention. So I'm going to wear them again next year to the same conference. What do you mean they didn't get enough attention? Like you didn't get enough true compliments? Yes, because I wore them on the third day and it was like half a day and I didn't see as many people. Why did you wait? Because we had a brunch with a bunch of creators. I work in creator marketing and I thought they would appreciate it the most, but I have regrets. All right. Well, were they comfy at least? Yeah. Well, next time you're in Texas. Next year, same time, same place. Next year, you can also use them for a Halloween costume. Maybe. What was your week like? You know, not bad. Nothing to report. How's the bathroom? Almost done. There's a light at the end of the tunnel. There's a light. There is a light. Bless. I can't wait. Things have been a little slow on the pop culture front. Yeah, I'm curious your thoughts on Sabrina Carpenter's album. cover controversy have you seen anything about that no enlighten me so she's got an album coming out called man's best friend the first single came out called man child and the cover art kind of has her like kneeling in front of a guy yes I did see that people are people are not I don't think understanding the point people are like mad what are people saying they're saying that it's like degrading and Inappropriate, etc. She's a grown woman. I know. She can do whatever she wants. And I just think like with, you know, the baby girl of it all, like, you know, it's taking that power back. Yeah, but people are upset because people are always upset. You know, maybe I should do more research before I form an opinion. But, you know, that's just not really our style. No, no. We like to be off the cuff. And whatever Sabrina does, I'm here for it, honestly. Oh, same. Yeah. So I'm looking, the new song, it's not necessarily a slap on first listen. Speaking of slaps on a first listen, I did text you this, but Ed Sheeran put crack cocaine in his new song and I cannot stop listening to it. I'm basically a Bollywood star now. I forgot to listen. Oh my gosh, do we need to pause so I can listen? No, I think just as a takeaway from this, go listen to it. Okay. Oh my goodness. He's doing it like a culture thing. journey because his first single, As He's Am, is Persian inspired. And this one is Indian inspired. I don't know what it is, but it's going to be in my top plays when Spotify rap comes out at the end of this year. I'm certain of it. Is it the song of the summer? To me? Oh, I can't wait. We haven't really had any song of the summer contenders yet that I'm aware of, but I mean, I'm old. So I don't want to get your hopes up. You might not like it like I like it, but... I mean, you did tell me the new Machine Gun Kelly song was really good and it left much to be desired, so... My interest in that has waned. Because it wasn't good. It was good on TikTok and snippets. What can I say? Oh my gosh. Has this made it to TikTok, the Traitors casting rumors? It sure has. And? Mama Kelsey? That's how I know this list is bullshit. Okay, but Lisa Rinna feels legit. I would love Rinna. If you give me Rinna and Dorinda at the same round table, I mean, I don't know if I can handle it. They're not going to bring Dorinda back. That's part of the rumor is that she would return. I would love to have her back. I also saw rumblings of Portia. Mm-hmm. Candice from Potomac. At first, I thought you were talking about Candice Burris and just not pronouncing her name right. Yes, Candice Burris. From Potomac. Oh, speaking of Potomac, Monique is coming back to Potomac, which doesn't mean anything to you. But by the time Potomac starts airing again, it will. So Monique and Candice were the ones that were fighting, right? Correct. But now Candice is gone, which opens the door for Monique's return. Similarly to when Candy left Atlanta and Phaedra reentered. Yes. So do you want to just start with Atlanta since we're already going there? Yeah, the evidence of Angela's husband hating her guts just continues to pile up. You know, I gotta say, you're right. I know I'm right. I absolutely know that. To see this woman beg her husband to care about her anniversary was painful to watch. Again, I speak from experience. Like, I have been in that position. I know he hates her. And it's like... Like, I don't care about anniversaries. Not that I'm married, but I don't care about dating anniversaries. Like, that stuff doesn't matter to me. But if he knows it matters to her. It was like he didn't care to spite her, almost. Yeah. Because he hates her guts. He hates her fucking guts. And to act this way while filming. It's like when Kelsey Grammer was leaving Camille and kind of like gave Beverly Hills to her as a parting gift. I feel like that's what this is. Yeah, he's like, I'm a basketball player. I want you to have your own set. He probably wants her to have her own career because he doesn't want to have to give her a lot of money because she's in such deep debt. A career that's more reliable than flipping the houses that she's failing at. I mean, yeah, but a career that actually makes her money instead of costs her millions. Right. But that was brutal. Otherwise, she was kind of like a... A background player on this episode, I thought. I'm going to jump around because what really stuck out to me is Shamia getting the news that her kid was ill and was very upset because she was far away. I can imagine that that must be really challenging as a mom. And obviously, we know she's not frivolously going on trips like this is her job and she has to be on this cast trip. It's not, you know, like we all get it. But when they're all kind of rallying around her in the hotel room, And she's crying and Brit just really kind of lost it for a minute there. Like she, was she okay? Was she just trying to make it about herself? Yes, I think so. Yeah. I don't know what that was about. Like, was that just like a display thing?

SPEAKER_01: 7:56

It seemed like a display.

UNKNOWN: 7:57

But for what? She's just really working hard to keep the peach, I feel. Too hard. But she doesn't even want it.

SPEAKER_00: 8:04

Well, yeah. I guess at the time. At the time, I think she did. Now we know that she didn't attend the reunion. Boo. And has filed a lawsuit. She will not be asked back. We will not see her again. I don't think they employ people who have outstanding litigation against them. Go see Leah McSweeney about that. Yeah. I mean, 20 million. Do you think that she will get money from her lawsuit? I don't think she'll get a dime. I mean, Bravo seems to have pretty good lawyers because they've been faced with several lawsuits. I have a feeling that when you sign up to be on Housewives, you sign away your life. So I'm certain the network is protected from the Kenya of it all. My thoughts exactly. And I wouldn't be surprised if Kenya was back next season. Me neither. I think that she will be because they clearly don't hold grudges. Nope. Which I love. Me too. I love that Bravo's memory is just as short as ours. Yep. I mean, if we can have Phaedra, we can have anyone. Yeah. So she, I mean, good riddance. She's kind of bothering me. She bothered me too, especially when she was hating on everyone for taking shots. I don't take shots. Oh, yeah. She really... It's efficient. It's an efficient way to get the job done. She's so judgy. She couldn't party with you, obviously. No, obviously not. Obviously not. I thought it was a pretty good episode, though, overall. Who was Phaedra commenting on having giant boobs? Kelly, of course. Right, because she was wearing something where they were just going to fall right out. And Kelly's boobs did fall out on Watch What Happens Live that one time, so... That's right. I forgot about that. That was Kelly. So Phaedra knows. She calls it like she sees it. The other thing that really sent me over the edge is when they had dinner with the prime minister who looked to be all of 17 years old. He did. Child prime minister. That's like a good idea for a movie. It's like Parks and Rec when Ben Wyatt was the mayor of... Teen mayor, yeah. Teen mayor. Yeah, that was weird. Was that the plan the whole time? What about, yeah, they will, well, I don't know how it came about. Maybe just the way that they were doing their good deed and giving back. I also loved how upon his arrival with his motorcade, the girls were all screaming at each other over something so petty, which I can't even remember what it was. Can't recall. But it doesn't matter. Nope. It gave us everything. This episode really did give us everything. It gave us humor when the girls were fighting. It gave us wish fulfillment when they're, like, touring that waterfall. It gave us emotion when Shamia was sad about her kid. It gave us, you know, like, concern when Angela was worried about her or wasn't getting the love from her husband. But then, like, it was heartwarming when the ladies rallied around her and got her a cake. Yeah, yikes. The ladies got you a cake for your anniversary, not your husband. That is tragic. You know what? It was devastating, actually. You know what wasn't giving me anything? Once again, the Love Hotel. I'd like to check out. I think we can next week. So here's what happened to me with Love Hotel this week. I put it on and I'd never nap. You know I don't nap. No, definitely not a napper. This show is so bad that it lulled me to sleep. I slept and guess what happened when I woke up? What? Earl was just... berating the shit out of shannon it was so awful so did you go back to it of course i had to figure out i wait i wake up and earl and and shannon's saying to earl well i apologize and he's saying well that's not good enough and i went back and i you know i tracked the progress and obviously i'm team shannon this was a big communication or fail on Earl's part to just expect her to be a mind reader well what about when Shannon expected him to be a mind reader about her DUI anniversary that was different because he didn't go down there because he was mad at her

SPEAKER_01: 12:04

hmm

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In this case, Shannon was like completely aloof. Like she had no idea that she asked him about this hurricane. She says, is your house okay? And he says, you know, it's not going to make landfall near my house. And then she went out. He was like, it was like a test she never could have passed. I think ultimately they just need to not be together. I mean, I guess you're right, but he was just like really harsh and it's not a good look. I think he probably was just emotional. Like if we recall, During the fires, although the fires never touched our doorsteps, we were just very sensitive and emotional during that time. So that's probably where he is. And by we, we mean you. I didn't handle it well. That's okay. Yeah, I mean, I guess I don't really want to give him the benefit of the doubt. I think that he's a garbage monster. Oh, I wouldn't go that far. That behavior was atrocious. I think he just was very emotional. His house was, in fact, affected. Well, I guess, you know what? we'll wait until next week and we'll see like if he apologizes to her for taking it that far but i will say that i did like that it gave the editor something to chew on it gave them something to do because this show has been so flat the way they they edited this fight this all this the build-up of this altercation by doing the fast forward button the pause button i appreciated that yeah and i don't care about any of the other couples no I would also like to give a shout out to the two big curlers on Shannon's head that remained throughout this altercation with Earl and the breaking down of said altercation with the women after. Have you gotten to Shannon's entrance in your Orange County viewing? I have not. So I'm rewatching Orange County. I'm on season seven, I think, or eight, and she's going to join us next season. Okay. But I will say that I am in the middle. I'm, you know, in Gretchen, full Gretchen. Oh, yes. And it's very jarring to be watching Gretchen, what, 10, 15 years ago. And then imagine my surprise to see Gretchen now in the new Orange County trailer with a face that really has transformed. Yeah, well, that's what happens. I mean, I guess I shouldn't be surprised, but I don't know. I just thought that. I expected more from her than to just, you know, I mean, and I'm no judgment on plastic surgery, filler, anything. But I, I mean, I think that like, if we can all help each other out and, you know, as we said last week, like if you know a good doctor, if you see something, say something like someone should tell her that her face is a little much. I think she's happy with it. And Slade looking like a silver Fox over there. Gross. Don't be gross. Speaking of a garbage monster, but a hot one. I don't have anything else to say about Love Hotel. I mean, do you want to talk about the Valley? Oh, you know what? Let's talk about Miami. That's another thing that you need to go back on and catch the hell up. I feel like I want to. There's a lot of history here. But there's only so many hours in my day, Lo. I need you to find some time. Do we need another pandemic? Do we need to introduce another pandemic for you? Don't. You don't say that. You don't say that. So this is a smaller group than I anticipated. So I've never watched Miami before. There's only five of them. Yeah, it's a bit smaller because Dr. Nicole is not a full-time... What do they hold? Margaritas or something? That would be awesome if they really did. I think it's a beverage. She's not a full-time Bev holder. She's not a Bev holder full-time. She makes an appearance, we saw on the previews, for the upcoming season. And why isn't Mary Saul a beverage holder? She likes to be a friend of. Oh, why? Her husband's very private. He doesn't like to share. Kind of like Shamia, how Shamia's husband was? Yeah, like if I'm ever to enter the Real Housewives world, I have to be a friend of, because as we know, my husband is on the run from something. That's why he refuses to be on social media. Yeah, he's using a fake name, an alias. So I think it's like that. We can't decide if he's the murderer or if he's in the witness protection program. It really could go either way. He is really nice, though. Now. His new identity. Oh, speaking of murderers, this is completely a tangent, but I watched an episode of Black Mirror on the plane today. Did you watch the whole season? Yeah, it was great, I thought. The computer one? the throngs oh so good what a trip i know i was pissed that it ended when it did though i wanted to see what happened after everybody woke back up i was like furious we should have known it was gonna end like i know they're not gonna give it to us no that was so good though So good. I thought it was a great seize. Did you watch the USS McAllister? No. So I have that one. And then one other one, the one right before I picked the throngs one, because I knew there was 45 minutes left in my flight and it was about 45 minutes. So I skipped around a little bit. Not that it matters. Back to Miami. We're off to a great start already. So what is the deal with Todd and Alexia. Why would he go through all that and ambush her with this breakup and then want to get back together with her? I gotta say, I don't know. It doesn't make any sense. It's very weird. When we left them last season, they were married. He was kind of a dick a little bit, but I didn't think they were going to get divorced. And then when all the news was coming out that he had left her, we were all wondering... when the hell are they going to pick up cameras to capture this and then we were just kind of following along in the news the way that that they are that we're watching them like oh we saw in the press that you were cuddling like what's up with that like we're just as confused as everybody else so hopefully we'll get some of those pieces put together What other questions do you have? This is more of an observation that I think that this is the franchise with the craziest faces. Again, I hate to talk about women's faces, but it's only when they've had the work done like this Lisa woman. Oh yeah, Lisa. What is going on? It's like she has a whole second layer of face under her skin. Well, her first husband, or I guess her only husband was a plastic surgeon. So couldn't he have prevented this? I think that it's his work. Yeah. Yeah. That is not a good advertisement. And Larsa has a totally different face than when you go back and watch season one of Miami because it was so long ago. It's a different person. In a good way or a bad way? I personally think she looked better before. She looks very puffy to me now. That's it. It's just the puffiness. It's puffy. And the same with Gretchen. And I think that's filler. It is. I think that we need to stop with the filler and we need to do the lasers. Agreed. And if I were rich, I would test the theory out and report back. Yeah, the fillers are out of control. Once we start getting sponsors. And when we last saw Larsa, she was still with Marcus on The Traitors. That's right. Wow, there's been a big gap between filming, hasn't there? Yeah, there has been. What took so long to get cameras back up? We're not sure because all this was going down with Larsa and Marcus and Alexia and Todd. And all of the fans were very curious as to what was taking Bravo so long. pick back up again um another question is one housewife who is stunningly beautiful seems to be having twins with her grandmother what is going on there julia she's married uh her wife is a very famous tennis player if you mention her name i forget her last name martina something if you mention it to your boyfriend he will know exactly who she is i promise you that This woman is an elder. She's having baby twins. Yes. And she's a very, very famous tennis star. Yes. That doesn't make her any younger. I mean, she's going to be chasing after babies. She couldn't even baby proof the stove. I'm not entirely sure how old she is. She did just go through a battle of cancer with cancer. Oh, a year or two ago. She's fine now. Well, great. I'm so happy that she beat that. Good for her. So maybe this is her reward. They've been wanting to adopt for a long time, and I'm happy for them. How old? Even the younger one doesn't seem that young, actually. She's got to be in her 40s, at least, if not 50s. Yeah, for sure. 50s, without a doubt. Stunning. Beautiful. She was a model. She was a model. I'm mesmerized by that face. Yeah. I'm liking what I'm seeing. I don't know much, but. Alexia has always been one of my favorite housewives. And why is that? I just love the way she talks. I love her hair. I love the way she looks when she wears pink. I just, she's a true Cuban Barbie doll. And you know, I've always loved Barbies. You do. And what do we think of Gertie's birthday party outfit? It was a choice. I love Gertie though. Like you'll come to just accept. Also a cancer survivor. I'm correct. Correct. That was last season. So she's, she's pretty great. We love Gertie. So are we team Gertie on this zoom battle between the woman with the twins? Yeah, I think so. Just because like, I think Julia overreacts a lot at times. And I think that's kind of what's happening now. I mean, it sounded like a very simple, like she, she couldn't get on the zoom. No one would let her in because the host was late. Happens. And then she had to go to a meeting. Yeah. So she said, catch me up on what I missed. She didn't know what the big reveal was going to be. She didn't know. So that's why I think Julia, she tends to overreact. And then whose side are you on when it comes to the battle of the puffy faces, Lisa versus Larsa? I'm not a Larsa fan. So... I'm going to take Lisa's side on this because I also agree with her. And like if his if Jodi was friends with Marcus's friends and they happen to be in the same places, you can't say to your boyfriend, sorry, you can't hang out with those people anymore in case Marcus shows up like that's so stupid. It really is, especially because Lisa's right. They've broken up. Marcus and Larsa have broken up 17 times. 100%. And I still think I do think, to Larsa's credit, Lisa should have unfollowed Marcus on Instagram. That's a very basic, easy thing to do if it's important to her. You know, do it. But otherwise, she's ridiculous. It looks like we're off to a good start, though. I'm looking forward to the rest of the seas. Miami never lets me down. When people ask me, like, what should I start with? I typically say Beverly Hills and New York start from the beginning. But I also say, honestly, Miami. has never had a bad season. Which is why I don't know why they put it on pause for so long. Because I watched the first couple that then got put on pause. I thought it was great. I wonder if there was a problem like re-signing the girls' contracts or something. I don't know. But you're in for a treat. It's great. I can't wait. And I'm loving Atlanta. I'm so glad that I'm on board. I think this was a great season for me to start with. I'm just having the best time over there. I have some feelings about the Valley. Okay, let's hear them. Specifically... Is this about Jax again? Well, it's more about Michelle. I have mixed feelings about Michelle. For one, she talks too slow. And that really pisses me off. I need to watch her on 1.5 speed. For another thing, the fact that she had the nerve to say that what she's going through is the same, if not worse than what Brittany is going through, is true delusion to me. Okay, that was my first thought as well. That was my immediate thought. But then... I zoomed out and she said something about her mom who has stage four colon cancer. And I think that that's what she was referring to is that she's going through a messy split. The same thing as Brittany, if not worse, because her mom is also terribly sick. But she hasn't shared that with the group. So how is... I'm unclear about that. Has she not shared? It seems like she hasn't. So... you can't expect people to feel bad for you for something they don't know about. Yeah. I feel like they would definitely rally around her. The same way they're rallying around Brittany and Brittany's needs were much more immediate. Like in that moment, like Jax Satan is coming up from hell tomorrow. Like T minus whatever hours. Jesse's an asshole, but he's not a danger. Yeah, exactly. He's not, he's not obsessively texting her all day. He's leaving her alone for the most part. Jax is mentally disturbed, in my opinion. It's kind of like when Lala on Vanderpump Rules was mad that everyone was giving Ariana all the attention when she went through the same thing. And it's like, okay, Lala, you took him from another woman. Yeah. And it was pretty clear that he was a scumbag. And you straight up admitted that you were sucking his dick for Range Rovers. Yeah. I mean, calling a spade a spade. So, I mean, it's kind of... I mean, not necessarily... Because... You know, Michelle didn't bring this divorce upon herself. No. Well, she did, though, because she did cheat. Allegedly. No, she admitted it. Oh, did she? She hasn't copped to the exact timeline. That's right. It's the timeline. But she did admit to cheating, which is another reason why I don't feel as bad for her. Yeah. I mean, they just weren't meant to be. They were bad for each other. They're incredibly different situations. I could not believe when she was trying to make it about her. Me too. But then I did think about her mom. But still, yeah, I think that like it's very obvious like why they were doing this for Brittany in this exact moment. And I loved the way that they changed the bar. Yeah, that was great. I loved it. I think that maybe, you know, if they kept it under the name Brits. It might be more successful. Yeah. It could compete with Thirsty Merchant. Brittany's fast food feast was everything to me. I wanted to be invited to that party. I just wanted a bite of everything. Me too. Just a little nibble. I have gotten together with friends with the Taco Bell feast. So that's one, but I've never elevated it with McDonald's, a salad bowl full of fries and, you know, a charcuterie board of pizza. You know what I've done is the, I don't even know what it's called, but the big box from White Castle. We did that last Christmas. Terrible. Why? In a good way or a bad way? Have you had White Castle? No. Maybe once, but I don't really remember it. It's frigging gross. There's a reason it hasn't made its way to the West Coast, and it's because it's nasty. But for some reason, I guess we were, I don't even remember, we were just, I guess, not me, but a bunch of people were drinking on Christmas Eve or Christmas last year, and we all thought it was a good idea to get a bunch of the big White Castle they come in like tiny square sliders some of them are like jalapeno cheeseburgers and some of them are regular they're so freaking nasty though so made me think of that well if I come visit you I'll take you to White Castle that'll be our first stop you just have to try it once to say you did you know I didn't I didn't try Whataburger in Texas and I regret that well good thing you're going back you can wear your cowboy boots next June I've heard good things about that Actually. Me too. So I was disappointed. But I wasn't sure they'd have a lettuce wrap. Oh, yes. Of course. Your low-carb diet. Anyway. So I did take note when they were packing up Jax's stuff how Brittany said, I never thought this would happen in a million years. And I just thought, really? Like a billion? Maybe like a hundred years. I mean, he was like scum of the earth even before you married him.

UNKNOWN: 28:15

Mm-hmm.

SPEAKER_00: 28:16

He was. Like, were you really this surprised? I certainly wasn't. I mean, yeah. I mean, the whole entire world is telling her I told you so, which must be an awful place to be. But I would not be saying that on camera, that I never thought this would happen in a million years. But also, like, what were your thoughts about Jesse when, at the end of the episode, how he was worried that Jax was going to be upset? Oh, he'll definitely be upset. That all his stuff was gone, that the bar's name was changed, and that they shouldn't do that. They shouldn't do things that are going to make him react. Do you think he had a point there? Yeah, I do think he had a point. I do think it's going to provoke him for sure. But I think that if he's provoked by things like that, then he hasn't done the work, which we know he hasn't. Obviously. But I don't think that anyone should be living in a place where they're worried about what this man is going to think. But he is going to come out like a... Like a tornado. No, he's going to be furious, but that's not like anybody's problem. He is going to barrel through the valley. I mean, I'm surprised that I didn't hear him, his rampage. I'm shocked. Upon release. I'm shocked. Maybe I did. Maybe I heard a loud boom or something. Maybe it was one of the days we thought it was an earthquake. It was just Jax. It was Jax getting out of rehab. We had a lot of earthquakes earlier this year and last year. Earthquake Jax. Yeah. Definitely. So we're going to find out, you know, we're going to see the aftershocks. We're going to see the aftermath, the damage, the rubble. I saw on TikTok that Dani and Nia aren't coming back. Is that true? Or was that just a fake TikTok thing? I haven't seen any reports of that, but they do live quite far. But they also need to provide, you know, they need income for four children. Yeah. Okay. So I just saw it briefly on TikTok and I never double checked it. I don't know how they're going to come back, but... I can't imagine that they wouldn't. But then again, we'll see how the rest of this drama plays out with dark side Dani. Yeah, that is so stupid. I'm over it. I'm fine with it. It's a lighthearted drama. Yeah, I guess. But yeah, I mean, this season isn't giving me as much as I wanted. But I think we know why. Why? Because Jax has been locked up. I'm telling you. I told you from the premiere that we need Jax. I don't think we do. So you're happy with the season. You're getting enough. He's still very much present, so it's hard to say. But he's just, like, lingering over the proceedings like a dark cloud. I like it when we're in the middle of the rainstorm. I support you. One more thing on Bravo before we move on to TLC. I caught up on Next Gen NYC. Oh, yes? And? I don't know. I'm just, like, not attached to any of these kidlets yet, so we're just gonna have to see. um what about kim zolciak's daughter she seems like a character yeah she does the the standout though is a girl named georgia i don't the one who doesn't wash her hands correct sick but she washed them by the end of the episode right yeah and she's she doesn't she's mad that people are giving her shit about it but frankly i don't think they were giving her enough shit about it wash your hands wash your hands I agree. Speaking of next-gen Bravo Labs, I would just like to say welcome home to Jack Barlow, baby elder gorgeous. Oh, my God. Welcome home, baby gorgeous. Back from his mission trip in Colombia. I hope Bravo cameras were rolling. I'm certain they were. They were all there to welcome him at the airport, including the younger brother. Henry. Henry, yes. His bestie. Adorable. He'll be on Next Gen whatever in five, ten, probably five years. Yeah. Stirring up all kinds of mess and trouble. And then before we pivot to TLC, I'd like to make a quick pit stop to Hulu and Netflix. Oh, okay. I would like to say RIP to Lydia and Milton's relationship. Oh, yeah. Love is blind. Another one bites the dust. I mean, who saw it coming? All of us. Just all of us. Sounds kind of messy. It does. Sounds like he was cheating. And the fact that he asked for her to sign an NDA before he signed the divorce papers. I don't think you can do that. And she would never do that. No, I don't think you legally are able to enforce that. And then the only other thing I wanted to mention is that in July we have the Secret Lives of Mormon Wives reunion, but I don't know if I can take it on, quite honestly, because the host... I saw that. I'm not sure why they picked Nick Viall. I think there was a resounding sigh from every fan who now has to decide to either sit and watch this Marble Mouth for two hours... And I know that, you know, my enunciation isn't great either, but I know well enough to not host a reunion. If I got the offer, I would politely decline. Why does ABC keep forcing this man upon us? I don't know. Stop trying to make Nick happen. He's not going to happen. Did you know I saw him at our favorite coffee shop once? Did you know that I saw him in the elevator at EPLP once? With Jared Haibon? I was there, bitch. Well... So I do know. There you go. There you have it. What Bachelor nation star haven't we seen at EPLP? Well, should we head over to TLC? I think we should. Well, let's get the annoying throuple out of the way. Okay. Freaking stupid. I think Imani's reaction to... And Aunt Ani choosing Matt to marry was hilarious after saying, I won't take it personal. I won't feel bad. It's fine. And then she's not chosen. And it's like her head's exploded. But we knew that was going to happen. We knew it. I honestly thought that she would choose her. Well, my favorite part is when Annie says to her, you're crazy. I can't marry you. You're nuts. She's so smart. My favorite part was when Ani chose Matt. Amani was upset. And Matt was just so unfazed. He's like, we're having a wedding. He's never fazed. He's never fazed. He just couldn't believe she picked him. Oh my gosh. I can't believe he's even there. I bet when they're like doing their threesome activities that he's just like, Hey, I'm just happy to be here. Yeah. He's just grateful. Such a dweeb. Who else did we even have? We had, we had Steven and Maddie. That friend is unhinged. Stevie and Maddie? That's what I meant to say. Stevie. Yeah, he... I'm done with that Disney cartoon villain. He can go. If that man had approached me like that on my wedding day, I would have thrown him out of the whole event. Yeah, I mean, that was lunacy. And she also is... It's wild to me taking a risk like that with your wedding dress day of. She had three options and I wasn't sure if any of them would work out. So she had the one dress that he said made her look old. And then she pulled another dress out of the bag and said, I don't really like this one. And then her friends bought brought a third dress with them that she said, this is the one I like, but I'm not sure it fits. And I have anxiety for her. But we know it's going to fit. It doesn't make the anxiety go away. Otherwise, they didn't really they weren't really in this episode, were they? Not a ton. Did we get anyone in Jessica? Yeah. Not that I recall. So the big moments were obviously a love story for our time. No, I don't want to talk about that yet. Can we talk about the sad part first? Yes, the saddest, most abrupt wedding of all times. No, I'm talking about Mark and Mina. Uh-oh. The devastation. The devastation. That kid could not be cuter. I cried two times in this episode and that was one of them. Oh, and remember when he said, I want to give you a hug. And asked if she missed him. Brutal. Truly. That was brutal. That was one of the most devastating things I've ever watched. Yeah. And why did she promise him that he would be able to come if she didn't know she could fulfill the promise? We're going to have to hear more about this at the reunion because it must have been. I can't remember what they said at the beginning of the season. I think they just didn't. Maybe they didn't realize his passport was. I bet they didn't realize it was expired. And then it was like too late and they tried to rush it. She should have gotten married at the courthouse. I'm sorry. I don't want to judge her. No, I agree. I agree. Because I get like not. not canceling the wedding entirely because of the the k1 process and having to restart all that but like yeah definitely like a little courthouse one i would have done to have him be in a chair on zoom as a mother i mean like i don't know about 10 year old boys do they care he sure seemed like he cared did he can move due to tears did he care about the wedding though or did he care about like just wanting to come to america and missing his mom yeah But I will say, like, Mina is the first self-aware person I've ever seen on this show when she said, I worry that my son will think I chose a man over him. I'm like, not a single other mother on the entire history of this franchise has had that level of self-awareness. I love her. I'm her biggest fan. I love her, too. What about Shekinah and Sarper? They... Ugh. They... that wedding venue in quotes it's a hotel room they're literally getting married in a hotel room and she said something about walking down an aisle and i'm like do you mean from the hallway to the bed i don't know and i want to know like what she thought the room was going to be versus what it was why didn't they go to like an airbnb in malibu or something Why didn't they go literally anywhere else to the park across the street? Were they downtown? I have no idea where they were, lol. It's just like... But it looks like a very shitty hotel room. I'm very confused by their whole thing. And all of her dreams and visions for the day were destroyed by the reality of that room. They were. I gotta say, Sarper was being pretty supportive for a minute there. Till he couldn't take it anymore. He was. Yeah, I mean, and I know what it's like to be particular and have a vision for anything. Yes, you do. This is her most important day, but you get what you get when you choose to get married in a generic hotel suite that you never have seen. And why is she choosing to get married in bed, the place where Sarper has been with literally thousands of other women? Because it's their favorite place to be, which I can relate. But it's his favorite place to be with all those other women. Not anymore. He's a changed man. I can't wait to see what comes of that, where that aisle is. Is she going to wear, like, just lingerie? Probably. Like a teddy of some sort? I mean, if she wore anything else, then it wouldn't be right. Yeah. Back to the shortest, most abrupt, depressing wedding I've ever seen. I cannot believe he married her. well so here's what i i i heard i never went back and fact-checked for myself but like i i listened to other podcasts shockingly not just ours somebody mentioned that they overheard the camera pickup welcome to citizenship i did i heard that you did okay i took a note who said that somebody said it as she was walking back down the aisle So I'm guessing our assumptions are probably correct then. But why did they do that whole production then? And why did they bring all the family members out if this wedding doesn't matter for anything? The toast was so painfully awkward. Oh my god. Her standing there with that blank stare with nothing to say for herself. I just... She seems genuinely confused as to why he's behaving this way. It's crazy. It's crazy. And I think he has every right to be acting this way. Whether them getting married was for citizenship or not, what she did was incredibly selfish to make them wait an hour and a half in the heat. Yeah. I mean, everyone in the crowd was half passed out from heat stroke. They probably didn't even know what was happening by the time she actually walked down the aisle in her panties. On the feet. I mean, the fact that this woman got married in her panties, that's not the biggest headline of the day. Tells you everything you need to know. On the other hand, you know, where we have Aaliyah and her cackling hag of a friend, we have Joan and her friend who helped her get out the door efficiently, on time, and stunning. Joan was a beautiful friggin' bride. She looked so amazing. Yeah. And I was thinking the whole time that friend who's Greg, she's Greg's friend. I think her name's Lauren. She's like really stepped up for Joan. And at one point, Joan was like, Lauren's my girl. Like, just I was so happy to see that she had a friend who was like there supporting her, helping her get ready. Like, I just loved it. That wedding, the whole thing made me cry. You know, I would like to be Joan's friend. Me too. I really would. And we finally got eyes on Greg's dad who walked down the aisle. I know. So every time I watch a wedding show, like whether it be Love is Blind, Say Yes to the Dress, this show like where people are getting married, I always fast forward the vows. It's so boring. Like I can't sit through it. This is the first televised wedding I have ever sat through the vows. That's shocking. They were so cute. They were very. I think those two crazy kids are going to make it. He said she looked like a star in the middle of the night sky. He loves her so much. And for some reason, she loves him too. I don't think we're going to see them again until the reunion. Am I right? Probably not. But I think there's only one more episode left. Yeah, because we're getting trailers for... I saw a trailer today for Happily Ever After. Oh, you did? I did. So we can talk about that cast. We can. What are your thoughts? Well, let's wrap up the episode. Was there anybody else that we cared to talk about? That was kind of it. That's kind of it. I'm very happy for Greg and Joan. And you know what? I'm honestly happy for Sean and Aaliyah if they're both getting what they want from this. But what she did at that wedding was fucked up. So fucked up. Okay, so the cast for HEA who we've seen is Yara and Jovi. who have moved to Miami apparently, and they live now near Lauren and Alexi who are joining us again. Elizabeth and Andre are joining us again. Don't need those. I don't need Lauren and Alexi ever again, but we're getting them anyway. Kara and Guillermo. Kara and Guillermo. I am excited to see them because I, I think he's so attractive and I think she's so beautiful. So I just can't wait to look at them. And they have a baby. Yeah. and tiger lily and adnan i don't know those people oh you get to experience tiger lily and adnan he's the worst he's like a worse version version of cyber sharper kind of oh really are they do they live together where are they where are these people located he's from jordan And they got married after never meeting in person. She flew to meet him and they got married in like two days. She has two kids that we never, who knows where they are. That's just like a running theme of 90 Day Fiancé. Where are the kids? It should be 90 Day Fiancé. Where are the children? Truly. No, Tiger Lily and Adnan are the worst. You're going to hate them. More than we hate. Do you know Jasmine, who will also be there? I'm just going to fast forward their parts, I think. That's not true. I'll watch it. I'm sure you were very upset, though, to see their names. Furious. Furious. So sick of them. I know, but, like, I don't know. I feel like that's just the TLC way, though, to, like, beat things into the ground. Like, Angela, until we literally are begging. I was just going to say. Until we are a bit on our hands and knees begging for them to stop. Until somebody has to go on... into the witness protection program. Is it going to be Gino or Jasmine? Unclear. Yeah, I don't know what they're going to give me that I am interested in. An ulcer? Other than, yeah. I mean, I don't know if I can watch them either. They're borderline unwatchable. And they won't even be together. It'll be like their solo journeys. They should be on the single life then. They should. Yeah. Who else are we missing? Darcy and Georgie. Darcy and Georgie. Again, I don't need Darcy or Stacey ever again. Yeah, I don't know much about them other than what I saw on Last Resort. And that was enough to know I never need to see them again. Yeah. I'm sure they'll also have somebody from this season of 90 Day that they're just not telling us yet. Oh, I hope so. Who do we want it to be? Greg and Joan, obviously. Obviously. Elizabeth and Andre... moved or are moving to Moldova. Oh. I'm pretty sure I saw that on the Diaries. That Diaries show. Interesting. Can she speak Moldovan? I doubt it, but we know she can sing and songs are universal. Facts. Karen Guillermo had some drama, too. I think he wanted to quit his job to go to pilot school. Well, in the trailer, he wants to just get laid more. Once a day, preferably. Every night and most mornings. Every night and most mornings. Well, I guess, I mean, if that's their biggest storyline, I'm not interested. That's boring as hell. That's just like regular shit. We'll see. We'll be watching. Like it or not. And speaking of watching, I watched the first two episodes of Hunt for Love on your recommendation, and I don't know if I can trust you anymore. Really? Are you sure? Horrible. I literally could barely make it through the second one. I had to force myself. Okay, well, you can jump off and I'll just carry us through the end. Has there been a third episode? Yes. And? I got to watch Colty dancing like a chicken, sweating profusely at a nightclub. So that was fun. What else? Rob is interested in Tim's ex Jennifer with two Fs. looks like they're going to maybe hook up in the next episode Tim is still defending himself saying he's not gay and that chick Elise that Rob was making out with the first night is just like she's really cuckoo what's she up to in episode 3 still screaming at him about giving her a 3 for the hot tub date wow yeah so this is what this is going to be yep it is Are you coming to the realization that... A little bit. I hate to admit it, but I am. I mean, last resort was just the most painful, one of the more painful experiences of my life. This is better than that, I feel. Only, you know, truth in time tells all, as the great Justin Bobby once said. Whatever happened to him? He resurfaced recently. Because, you know, the interwebs have been having a lot of Laguna Beach and the Hills nostalgia. So they've been like popping their heads out of the sand to say they still exist. Why is that? I really don't know. I mean, I know why like the Spencer and Heidi have come back into the fold. I've really grown to love them. Me too. I think Spencer is like a really good husband. I think so too. Like on my TikTok page, my For You page, Heidi's performances pop up all the time and he's always off to the side like Kris Jenner with his phone out and it's just like- Wearing the t-shirt. So sweet. It really is. He loves her. He does. They're a love story for our time. They are. And we all said those kids wouldn't make it and we were wrong and I'd like to formally apologize. Yeah, but she owes us an apology for the wig she wore. To the Billboard Music Awards. She lost her home. Was it the Billboard Music Awards? It doesn't matter. The wig she wore on a recent red carpet. It was the people's. No, it was the AMAs. That nobody watched. I had to quit that early. That was a toughie. The point is, I do feel sorry that she lost her home. But I wish the wig would have burned. I think all her good wigs did burn. I think that's the problem. You should have donated wigs to Heidi. Spencer recently also addressed the wig. He made a comment about it. I forget where and what capacity, but he was on a public platform and he was saying that he knows the wig is bad. If people can please keep streaming Heidi's music so they can afford a better wig. Genius. Genius. Which, again, just makes me love him more. Can we get him on The Traitors? I would love to see him on The Traitors. Can we get him hosting the Secret Lives of Mormon Wives reunion? Love Island? Oh, yeah. I mean, Love Hotel. I'm sorry. I still think Sheena should be taking that one. Speaking of Love Island, I feel like that's such a big blind spot for us. I tried. I tried last season. I really did. I could not get into that show. Do you want to give it another try? Maybe you can because I have Big Brother coming up. I have Big Brother coming up too. I think that we can just... How many hours in a day do you think we have here? It's just hard because my social media is infiltrated with Love Island. There's going to be things we miss occasionally. This feels like a biggie. I mean, I gave it the old college try last year and I couldn't get into it. How many episodes are there a week? Oh my god, I think there's one like literally every day. I don't have it in me. I have a job. And I don't. That's what I'm saying. We have jobs. Did I tell you I finished Sirens? Yes, I did too. We did not like the ending. We decided. No, it really got me going in the beginning and then it lost me. But I did realize that Kevin Bacon was hot. That was my biggest takeaway. No, the takeaway is that you just really like older men. A la Ralph. A la Ralph. A la Kevin Bacon. A la Chalk from Golden Bachelor. My man, my man. A la Zaddy Newsome. Zaddy Newsome is everything to me, especially in these times. Same. As a Californian. Even I love him. but you're not a Californian anymore. I am. Oh my God. So at one of my work events yesterday, one of my colleagues was like, you don't know you're from Jersey. And I looked at them and said, how dare you? How dare? Well, you've already fit the Jersey mold. You've gotten them fooled. I've never been more offended. I'm a California girl through and through. Okay, well, maybe I'll try a Love Island. Maybe that will be my goal for the next week. Yeah, let's see if you can get into it. It's important to have goals. It is important to have goals. I would like to watch the Alex Cooper documentary on Hulu. You do that because I will never. Okay. I'm too jealous of her. Oh, me too. I don't like listen to Call Her Daddy because I, again, I'm jealous, but I will watch the documentary. I also want to watch the Pee Wee Herman documentary. I did read, like, everything about that, so I feel like I've watched it, but... Was it interesting, what you read? Yeah, I think you should watch it and then report back. Maybe I'll watch that right after this. You see, like, a new side of him. Yeah. A completely different side, and it's really sad, honestly, what his life became. Our neighbor growing up was good friends with our parents, and so we would go over to their house a lot to hang out, and he had, like, the whole box collection of Pee Wee's Playhouse, so we watched a ton of Pee Wee growing up, and it was... Looking back on it now as an adult, like it's kind of an acid trip for kids. It is, but we loved it. We loved it. And I would also like to say rest in peace to Brian Wilson, also a huge part of our childhood. Huge part of our childhood, a complete cuckoo nut, but a genius in his own right. Well, most geniuses are a little nuts. True. He also, he went through a lot in his life. He had a really hard time. Well, hopefully he's at peace now, but we're big Beach Boys fans. We're very thankful for what he's given us and his beautiful songs we'll love on. Harmonies, harmonies for days. Incredible harmonies. Did you watch the Beach Boys documentary on Disney? Yeah, that was a while ago though. So it's not like fresh off the dome, you know. One last thing. Did you watch the Wicked trailer for part two? Of course. Are you excited? No. Are you? Yes, very. I've seen Wicked like three times. I just think all the most boring songs are in the second half. That is true. But I also am here for the costumes and set design, etc. I mean, I'm going to watch it. Who are we kidding? Yeah, it's an event. I'm more excited to see Megan. Coming out at the end of the month. I never saw the first one. It's a joy. It's a treat and a delight. I'm scared. I'm excited to see the new Jurassic world movie. I won't be seeing that, but I will see the new Dakota Johnson movie. I would like to see that. I materialists. Hopefully you'll have seen that and report back by next week. Maybe. And hopefully you'll have listened to Ed Sheeran's new crack song and you can report back on that. You know, I had a chance to listen to it while we took a break recording this. And you still did it. And I still forgot. Yeah. Okay. Okay. I'm going to do it right when we say goodbye. Okay. Well, just text me your thoughts because I don't think our listeners will care. But we can just fill them in next week. Okay. Well, I guess that does it for us. All right. Thanks for rotting with us. Thanks for rotting with us. See you next week.