Episode 8: When Grief Meets Peace and Regret: Losing My Father to COVID and Mental Illness

When Grief Meets Peace and Regret: Losing My Father to COVID and Mental Illness

with Bonita and Counsellor Andrea

Trigger Warning:
This episode contains honest discussions around grief, loss, mental illness, and the impact of COVID-19. Please listen with care. 🤎

What does it mean when grief doesn’t just hurt — but also brings peace?

In this episode, Bonita, a British citizen, shares the emotional story of losing her father, who battled Paranoid Schizophrenia, and later passed away after contracting COVID-19 during the pandemic. Like many families who lost loved ones during lockdown, Bonita faced the heartbreak of not being able to be by her father’s side in those final moments.

But this conversation holds more than grief. Bonita speaks openly about how, alongside the sadness, there was also a deep sense of peace — knowing her father was no longer suffering from the pain and struggles that came with his mental illness. She shares what it was like to love someone while never quite knowing which version of him she was going to get each day — the weight of the uncertainty, the emotional exhaustion, and the complicated love that comes with that.

Joined by Counsellor Andrea, we explore:

• The layered grief of losing a parent to both mental illness and COVID
• The unpredictable nature of loving someone with Paranoid Schizophrenia
• Finding peace in the midst of pain
• How mental health tools like journaling, yoga, and self-awareness helped Bonita cope
• The emotional complexity of feeling both loss and relief
• The five stages of grief — understanding how they show up differently for everyone
• Why every grief journey looks different — and that’s okay

This was a shorter conversation, but one filled with reflection, softness, and honesty. A reminder that grief doesn’t always follow the rules we expect — sometimes, healing comes with letting go.

If you or someone you know is struggling, please reach out for support. You are not alone. 🤎

Sound Note:
There are a few moments in this episode where the audio may not be as clear (especially with my counsellor audio). If you're listening on audio platforms, increasing your volume may help during these parts. 

Thank you for your patience and understanding — the heart of the conversation remains so important, and I truly appreciate you listening. 🤎

• Helpful Resources and Support Lines:
  • UK: Mental Health Foundation – Get Help
  • USA: Mental Health Is Health – Find a Helpline
  • Nigeria: Mentally Aware Nigeria Initiative (MANI)
  • Global: United for Global Mental Health

Please take care of yourself. 🤎