How to cut through the noise with Stefanie Sword Williams

In this week's episode of Business Class, Vicky Owens sits down with entrepreneur, author and founder of the global movement F*ck Being Humble, Stefanie Sword Williams.

Known for helping people build confidence, advocate for themselves and stop playing small, Stefanie has spent the last eight years challenging the way we think about self-promotion, personal branding and career growth. In this powerful conversation, she shares what it really takes to build a movement that lasts, stand out in a crowded market and create meaningful impact through your work.

Together, Vicky and Stephanie discuss:

• How to build a personal brand people remember
• Why most businesses focus on trends instead of solving real problems
• Creating a movement instead of just creating content
• The power of bold messaging and strong positioning
• Confidence, self-promotion and overcoming self-doubt
• Dealing with criticism and fear of judgement online
• Why authenticity matters more than ever
• The difference between vulnerability and oversharing
• Building a brand with purpose and longevity
• How to stop gatekeeping your brilliance
• Creating opportunities instead of waiting for them
• The mindset shifts that help founders grow

Stefanie also shares her personal journey, the challenges she's faced behind the scenes, and the lessons she's learned from building one of the UK's most recognisable personal development brands.

Whether you're an entrepreneur, creator, founder or professional looking to build confidence and visibility, this episode is packed with practical advice and powerful insights.

🎉 This episode is sponsored by Plannerly

Plannerly is the all-in-one creator toolkit designed to help you plan content, schedule posts, manage your social media workflow and grow your business online.

👉 Use code VICKY10 for 10% off your Plannerly plan.

Subscribe to Business Class with Vicky Owens for weekly conversations with founders, creators and business leaders sharing the lessons behind their success.

Produced by TAEPodcast www.taepodcast.co.uk

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:03

Welcome aboard to business class. The empty place to be if you are on your journey to six months. You'll be sharing the ups, the downs, and everything in between. Just a disclaimer that this is all my eminent place and what if someone works for me as a first-time business owner. So please take everything I say with a pinch of salt. So take your seats, strip in, and welcome aboard to business class with me.

SPEAKER_01 0:24

Hello and welcome back to another very special episode of Business Classic today. I'm here doing a live podcast recording with South by Southwest with the amazing Stephanie Sword Williams. Hi Steph.

SPEAKER_03 0:36

Hi, thanks so much for having me.

SPEAKER_01 0:37

I was so excited for this conversation. I feel like I said to Steph before this, I really want to speak about some things that you've not spoken about in a while and really hone in on it. And a lot of the questions that I get for the podcast to speak about is how we can build something big and bold and everlasting as well. And I feel like with your brand, fuck being humble, like nothing else says big and bold, quite like that statement. So I really want to go into today how people can build something big, have a strong message that lasts as well, because that's not always easy, especially with how much is going on in the world at the minute. Everything feels saturated. How can people cut through? So, first question I'm going to ask you, Steph, is what is something that people get wrong about trying to manufacture a movement at the minute?

SPEAKER_03 1:22

So I think one of the biggest mistakes that businesses are making are essentially jumping on trending creators or trending topics and thinking that that will be enough to sustain a movement and it won't. Some of the best movements that we see are genuinely based on insights, they're based on troubles, experiences, obstacles that people are feeling. And we need to look at that. I spoke at South by Southwest last year and this year, and my urgency to the audiences was to stop thinking brand first and start thinking problem first. Yeah. We have enough global problems happening in the world right now. We desperately need brands to step in, use their resources, use their power, use their leverage to help support it. And I honestly believe it will build brand loyalty too. But when you just jump on the latest creator that's blowing up right now, I I've watched it happen time and time again. For six months, that creator is booked here, there, and everywhere. And then you literally see nothing's with them again. Because the thing that made them famous or the thing that got them trending was actually just like a dance or it was a hot take on something once. But they haven't created that personal brand piece that creates longevity, and they're also not creating content around insights and issues that we need to solve. So I really think it's about looking at creators genuinely like myself who have spent eight years on the ground trying to tackle a societal issue, trying to advance people to progress in their careers or to progress in their confidence. It's really important for brands to start looking at individuals or communities that have been doing things for a long time and that need that backing and support and that amplifying.

SPEAKER_01 2:58

Yeah, because I think brands now, it's all about like quick wins for them, isn't it? Or like things are going viral and there's like attention here, there, and everywhere. Um and I think it's so hard for people to, at the minute, I think it feels overwhelming to cut through the noise. Um, what would you say? So there's a lot of bold brands and messages out there, but a lot of them do end up getting lost. So, what do you think separates a message that resonates and one resonates for a moment versus one that actually lasts for a long time?

SPEAKER_03 3:26

So when I obviously quite audaciously went out into the world and said, fuck being humble, naturally I ruffled some feathers. But it was genuinely based on this human insight that we are excessively humble and we hold ourselves back. And particularly for women, because we're conditioned to be nice, we don't always advocate for ourselves in the way that we should. The reason my business, my brand, my movement has been so successful is because of those three words fuck being humble. I genuinely don't believe I would be where I am today had I not have made such a big, bold stance on a topic. Because I was essentially telling the entire world to do a skill that is come go against a skill that is so well celebrated. So I think what we need to be looking at if we want to create things that are lasting is thinking about naming or movements that either name an emotion or provide the solution.

SPEAKER_02 4:18

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 4:18

What I see a lot is people not willing enough to be bold and be courageous and have an opinion and act on the opinions. I think that's the problem. Everybody seems to be a commentator online, but nobody actually acts and takes action and provides solution. Until I came on the scene, everyone said women had problems with confidence, but no one actually provided solutions on how we change that. So I think what makes a great movement leader or a great movement in itself is something that not only names the experience but creates the solutions behind what's gonna help change that and move that forward. And that's the difference between something that sounds fun and topical for 10 minutes and something that lasts for 10 years.

SPEAKER_01 4:58

Yeah, what was it like actually bringing foot being humble into the world? Like, was there how have you dealt with the people that either love it and resonate versus people that are like, oh gosh, you shouldn't be swearing in her that, you know, all of that stuff. How do you deal with this sort of split reaction that I bet you get to the whole brand?

SPEAKER_03 5:17

I mean, look, even my friends at the beginning would say, you know, I wouldn't do this if I was you. And I'm gonna be really blunt. They they're not very brave. They weren't people that were gonna do something big. My my big lesson I teach people is never take advice from people that aren't that don't have the courage or bravery to do the things that you want to do because they're never gonna advocate or they're never gonna encourage you to do those things. One of the quotes that I love to share at my events is from the creative director of Dermatologica, Jane Woolwood. She said, You've got to be prepared to piss off 80% of people if you want to turn on 20% of people. And I always had that kind of instinct with the brand that I knew initially a lot of people may not warm to it, but the 20% of people that love it will really love it, and that has honestly been my movement model that the 20% of people that I know really are affected and positively resonate with it, and I actually believe it's more 100% now. Yeah, but at the time I just knew to my core that the message and the movement was so needed, and as long as I could prove it with solutions and actions and demonstrating that this was more than just you know a disruptive name on a on a jacket or something, it was actually something that was gonna hold in terms of weight, then I could try it, I could really build that trust over time. But for me, I focus on the people who get it, I don't waste my time on the people who don't. I love that.

SPEAKER_01 6:34

I feel like I need to hear that a lot more. I'm still very much recovering from being a people pleaser and too nice and like the way we're supposed to be, especially as women. And I think I remember you said that 80%, 20% quote, and I've taken that into my personal life because I feel like I'm quite like a loud out there bubbly person. And when you are like that, I think you trigger a lot of emotions and reactions from people that aren't able to be like that. But I think hearing that, I've now thought in my day-to-day life, I would rather have, you know, some people really love me for me, really like me, really resonate with what I talk about, and some people that do, you know, dislike me or they're not that fussed about what I say or my message, rather than having 100% of people who think she's all right.

SPEAKER_03 7:16

Can I just add to that as well? My business coach said to me, Don't gatekeep your brilliance. Oh, I love it. And I just love it as a statement because there's so many times where we hold ourselves back, we're not authentic, we don't show that. And I just think we lose out on things. Like I talk about FOSS, the fear of sounding stupid, which is something, a phrase that I coined when I was writing my first book. And it is that thing that we are so worried about how people are gonna judge us, we're so consumed by that that we undersell ourselves and we walk ourselves down, but also we don't look at our capabilities with the kind of extreme that we could, and I think that's what really stops people from doing these big ideas, is we are so worried by it. So I just love that message don't keep gatekeep your brilliance because someone needs to see it and you need to share it.

SPEAKER_01 8:00

100%. And for people that do have an idea or a movement and they're like they've not got a platform, they feel like they maybe don't have a voice at the minute. Where do you start if you're starting from zero? Be more than a hot take, right?

SPEAKER_03 8:14

So I think have something like an interesting name. Honestly, it's been like the freest form of advertising for me. And I also think with names, like I have a water bottle that says fuck being humble, and a woman at the gym saw it, lifted it up, and just nodded and smiled and went, and there's something really amazing in this like message that could even have that silent connection with someone. Yeah, so I think naming is so important. I've managed to get taxi drivers to buy my book in six minutes of being in their cab because I've been like it's called fuck being humble. I help people claim what they deserve. I hate people seeing people being overlooked and undervalued, and I built a whole movement around it. And like that, people want to connect with it. So your name should be strong, your mission should be even stronger. And then really thinking about like how you can experiment with activations because I speak to a lot of people who just post content online and they say, Oh, well, I'm posting online every day and nothing's working. I'm like, well, then why do you keep doing it? Like change it up, try something different, go speak to people. One of the best things I actually saw was at a festival where two young creative guys, it was DAD New Blood Festival, they were too young to be at the festival because they were over the 25 age limit. So they dressed up as old people, they had cardboard signs with an inflatable walking met like walking stick, so essentially went round saying, We're too old to be here, but it's like scan our cue card and see our portfolio anyway. So and when I think about that festival five years ago, it's them that I remember. So I just I really encourage people to think about how can you embody your movement or your brand or your message in the physical form? Like, how can you actually bring that to life beyond just behind a screen? Because honestly, I think everyone's feeling the screen fatigue right now. And if we're coming back to movements, what what movements are are action-based. So I don't just want to keep seeing commentators online hyper-analysing every single thing that we're doing online. Go do something about it. Yeah, I literally did a series this year called Walk the Walk because I'm sick of seeing people just talking the talk.

SPEAKER_01 10:13

It's like so common, isn't it? I mean, you'll get this whenever you I mean, I mean, when we when I first saw you in real life, was at a free soul event. And I know we'd followed each other for a bit, but it's the same when I speak at events. You get people, they queue up, they ask you questions, and I feel like the most common question I get that I know you'll get is like, I want to do this thing, but I just can't start it, or how do I start it? Like, what what would advice would you give to people that that always come up to you and say the same thing? Is it just literally I know it sounds so generic, but it's just starting it and being bold enough to start it and stop thinking of it.

SPEAKER_03 10:43

It's actually not. So I have spent years having people come up to me, and because I'm such an overgiver, I will give a master plan. I'm like, do this, do this, do this. I see them in six months, they've done absolutely nothing. So, what I've learned to ask people when they say, How do I get started? I say back to them, what's gonna stop you from getting started? Because answering that question will tell you a lot more about the things that will hold you back than just saying, I don't know how. It's actually not that. It's based on your limiting beliefs, it's what's blocking you, that fear of sounding stupid. You actually need to review and assess the barriers or blockers before you start anything. So you can put things in place to feel confident in those moments where you know maybe those insecurities or that things that might hold you back will show up. So that would be my starting point recommendation. Amazing.

SPEAKER_01 11:30

I can give better advice to people now. Um, so when people are thinking about starting from zero and building something, do you think it's all about them having a bold point of view and that almost starts the fire going and start things up? Or do you think it's about being consistent with your message over time?

SPEAKER_03 11:46

So I think consistency helps with visibility, but a bold message or a bold stance will help with staying remembered. And that's the most important thing, really, because I think a lot of my peers, for example, they might have great brands and I can see that they are doing great things to be visible, but I get a lot of bookings globally to speak around the world, speak for businesses, I do content collaborations, I do partnerships, I've done some amazing things, and I genuinely believe it's because when there is a sea of sameness and everyone is doing the same, people are desperately looking out for well, what's the different take? What's the unique angle? So if you're consistently showing up exactly the same as everyone else, you're not going to see the business results that you're looking for. That goes for brands, businesses, and individuals or content creators. So I would always say have a bold stance. I don't think we have enough bold stances. I think since the pandemic, and I talked about this on my talk yesterday at South by Southwest, I think people have got safer and safer and safer. They're putting profit above purpose. And I understand that businesses and brands need to sell right now, but we can sell and we can serve. And I think that's what movements are about is we can sell things and we can get people behind an idea, but serving is really asking ourselves how can we make other people's lives better? And I do not think decision makers are doing that. And I think we are seeing marketers make the same generic mistakes over and over again. I mean, one of the things I said and I voiced yesterday was that people celebrating Hailey Bieber's lip gloss case on the back of an iPhone case, honestly, I think was really bland and boring. It's not innovative. People celebrating her for using yellow at an influencer event, I was like calling it disruptive. I'm like, have we lost our minds collectively? Like, why are the standards for marketing so low right now when the issues around the world affecting women and everyone are so high? Like I feel really irate about it because I have spent so long really channeling, focusing, and looking at what are the problems, I listen to people's struggles and I build solutions around them. And I actually think that's another piece about relevance, which is it's not just if I'd have just said fuck being humble for the last eight years, it wouldn't have been enough. Every year I look up the market trends, what's happening, what do people need. I've created things like side hustle school during the pandemic when everyone lost their jobs and they've trained 700 people through it. Incredible. I created a campaign to tackle gender equality named Men Ask for More, because I really want to see more men asking for more for women in the workplace. So I'm constantly trying to look at what is happening and what do people need, and then build my communications and my movement efforts around that. And for whatever reason, I'm just not seeing enough people do the same.

SPEAKER_01 14:28

Do you think it's around so when I think of being bold, I definitely have the fear of cancellation. You know, it's like or ruffling feathers, saying the wrong thing. Where do you think so? When people are building a personal brand, I do definitely think to be remembered, you have got to be bold with your statement and your mission and why you're doing what you're doing. What are your thoughts on that for business owners or you know, personal brands founders? This whole thing of you know, women in the UK being torn down when they reach a certain point and they're just terrified to say anything or get anything wrong. What are your stance on, you know, how bold should they be and what you should and shouldn't share, really?

SPEAKER_03 15:04

Yeah, we can't over the fact that you know studies and research show women are disproportionately affected and we experience a lot more online trolling and online abuse. And that's something I would, to be honest, love to do campaigning around because I hate to see it, especially the fact that it makes women feel like they can't. I think there's a difference between being controversial for controversial's sake or publicly naming something that we all know we're experiencing, but no one's actually calling it out. So, again, another campaign I ran for International Women's Day this year was angry and exhausted because that's what women are feeling right now. I'm not gonna go tell you to put on lip start and buy a pink, something pink because we create a pink merch collection. Because apparently that's all women care about when it comes to gender equality. And so for me, it's more about as long as it's centered in an insight and you're trying to name what people maybe some people can't name. So I think if you can be a public voice to the things that people can't always express themselves, that's huge. If you can think of action, solutions, initiatives, programming that could help support it. I said yesterday, I think one of the things that we worry the most about is the cancellation piece, you're right. Because we're almost looking at it as like it's all just too big. Everything is too big a problem. When really all you need to be asking yourself is how can I be 1% better? How can I be 1% better in what I advocate for, the processes that I use, the people I work with? Like, once you look at it like that and we distill it down to being something a lot smaller, it makes it a lot easier. One of my favourite authors at the moment is Anne Law LeComp. She's written the book Tiny Experiments, How to Break Free from a Goal-Obsessed World. So it's a gorgeous book. But she talks about the fact that if we want to do big, bold ideas or movements or anything, we need to set experiments. So I'm gonna do 10 newsletters that feel a bit disruptive, and I'm gonna see how that makes me feel. I'm gonna see what how it lands, I'm gonna see the impact of these things and focus on the internal uh things that make us feel something versus the external what's gonna drive following. Like I'm not someone that has built my brand or content on trending audios or trending content. I think about what people need and I post it. And if I don't get a good engagement, I know I'm grounded in myself to say, I knew I shared this for a reason, and this will help someone somewhere at some point. Yeah, that's okay for me. I'm not chasing my ego anymore, and I think that's one of the biggest things that we worry about. If we do want an extra tip on this, I would just say get your hype squad ready, right? So if you are gonna share something disruptive, get your mates, get your network, anyone that you feel comfortable, just ask them, will you whack a bunch of like queen emojis on this or like heart emojis? Because what we are, the biggest thing we're most likely scared of as individuals or as humans is that fear of feeling abandoned or exposed that nobody agrees with us. So if that is the fear, don't uh be embarrassed to ask for that help if you just need to get going, but also know that what you're sharing, as long as it has intent, you will attract the right people.

SPEAKER_01 18:09

I am so excited to say that this episode is sponsored by Planally. Now I've been using Plannerly since I was about 16 years old in my very first marketing job, and I used to use it to basically plan out content for the feed, get it looking all nice, but now it does so much more. It's basically a full creator toolkit all in one place. You get your social media planning, but you also get a free Linkin bio tool and a built-in customizable storefront with checkout. So you can schedule your post, preview your feed, drive people to the link in your bio and actually sell your product, services, digital downloads, even one-on-one coaching without juggling five different tools or paying transaction fees on top. As a business owner, I know how easy it is to batch your content and then just forget to post it, or how hard it is to stay consistent on social media. I've used so many tools, but Planerly is the one that makes my workflow feel so seamless. And it has everything I need to manage my client's content and my own. So if you're looking to take your social media growth seriously this year, start with Planner Lee and you can use code Vicky10 for 10% off your Planner Lee plan. What's your stance on your personal brand? So you've built an amazing personal brand um with a really strong message. How do you find that really fine line of being authentic but not oversharing? Like that is a uh a topic I feel like personal brand owners are really trying to get right at the minute. We want to be authentic because I feel like that's what works. You know, people want to relate to us and see our journey. But then also you've got the likes of like Amy Smell from OddMuse, who was crying and she got loads of criticism for doing that, and it was almost too authentic. So, what are your thoughts on how people should use their personal brand in that way? And I suppose how you've uh navigated that with your personal brand.

SPEAKER_03 19:52

Yeah, so it's really funny because people often say I have a strong personal brand, but I I've always had a movement as a brand, I've always had fuck being humble. So, whilst I am the face of that brand, I have my own Instagram account that I post holiday pictures on and things like that, where I don't feel like I need to make it super purposeful or meaningful. And likewise, I don't necessarily need to have my holiday pictures popping up on my movement page. So I always encourage having two separate accounts personally. When it comes to vulnerability, I think two things. Ask yourself is this for the WhatsApp chat or is this for social media? And there is a fine line between it, and I would first of all most likely take it to the WhatsApp chat, and sometimes we just need to express ourselves. I think where content creators are tripping themselves up and founders and things at the moment, is they think immediately let me go online because I immediately I want to either create some discourse or ruffle feathers or this will get me, you know, all press is good press. I don't I don't actually agree with that. I think it is important to share your views if you feel confident and comfortable in that. But sadly, with the internet, everything does last forever and it can be pulled up at any time in your life. I don't know if I would ever run for prime minister, but I always have that in the back of my head because could this video tear me down one day if I wanted to do something that felt so expansive? And so I think that's really important. And then I think another tip I would give on this is I I've been through a really difficult time in behind the scenes personally for the last two years, and there were so many moments as an expression person where I really wanted to open up about it online and I wanted to share it, and I had so many people say to me, just wait, just wait until you feel ready. And a friend said to me, share from the let's get it right, share from the scar, not from the wound. Yeah. And I think that's such a great reminder, especially if we want to share with impact. Because when we share, when it is too emotionally centered, we might be coming across as quite self indulgent, or we might come across as woe life as me, right? But if we can take a step back and go, I I know I'm feeling this, I'm gonna journal it, I'll put it in my social media for the future. Content, yeah, I'll actually probably be able to come back with a much more uh balanced, grounded, and probably full of more wisdom in six months' time. And one of my friends said to me, there was a podcast idea I had, and she said, What how would you feel just filming it and keeping it to yourself and not promoting it publicly? And even that was an amazing idea because it was about me expressing myself, but then choosing whether it was the right time or not to share. And actually it wasn't. I am coming back feeling a lot better now, and I feel really excited about how I can share those ideas. Now I've had time to simmer on them.

SPEAKER_02 22:34

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 22:34

So I think that's something that in the world that we're living in in the moment that feels so instant and attention-grabbing, we are really missing out on what builds on the time of simmering ideas, and I think that's something I would love more people to consider.

SPEAKER_01 22:46

100%. And what would you say? Have you got any examples of brands that have done the message, the longevity being disruptive that have done it really well?

SPEAKER_03 22:55

Yeah, I mean, immediate topical ones, I think Dove Real Women, they they really cut through years ago and they're still holding on to that message. They've done some great content and uh kind of direction around uh online children's safety, body dysmorphia. They continue to build on what was always always a great incentive, essentially. Tony's Chocolone, I've always loved. When I found the brand, I was obsessed with them. Right down to the detailing that I don't know if a lot of people know this, but their chocolate bar, rather than being in a grid format like a Cadbury's or any other brand, is actually fragmented. And that's an intentional thing because they believe the industry is fragmented. Wow. And they won't ever have their bar straight until they clear up the industry. I love that. And there's just little things about that. And I think, you know, innately what they have built is a brand that is centered around changing child slavery in the chocolate industry, and to do that, they completely change the sourcing, how they created their chocolate. So the story behind it was the two founders were going, were making a documentary on how messed up the chocolate industry was. They realized a documentary wasn't enough and they started their own chocolate brand. Incredible. And that is for me just a great example of people who take things into action. I think on a more local level, I actually wrote down a couple of more, a couple of people just so I didn't forget them. I think good news movement is great because right now we just need to see some good news. I love that. Um Peanut, which is an app for motherhood. I think they've been doing some great campaigning around women's issues and particularly topics where mothers feel overlooked. And uh Women's Steer Watch UK, so sorry, Women Street Watch UK is a really beauty, beautiful collective of women that were sick of seeing women being harassed on streets and reading the horrendous statistics that we see about women's safety, that every Friday and Saturday night they went wear pink high-vis jackets, they go out onto the streets and they help women who are drunk get into taxis and get home safely, and they help them charge their phones and give them food to make sure that no gender violence happens at the end of the night. Incredible. And that is just a great example of how we don't need a lot of money and resources to solve problems. And I could think of endless brands that could be doing this to be going to the streets and supporting people. So it's those sorts of movements that I really love to see building.

SPEAKER_01 25:06

And I think as well, it's really important that you can see with brands when they carry that message on and off social media, like that is the things like that that they do that is not always they're videoing it and doing it for attention all the time, which I think is incredible. Um, so with your bold brand and message, I would love to know how do you practice what you preach? Like if you're having a day, inevitably, where you're gonna feel a little bit more, you know, battered or tired or not as confident, like how do you step back into your power and like remind yourself of who you are?

SPEAKER_03 25:36

Yeah, it's a great question. I mean, it happens all the time. I did um something in New York, I've been building my company out in the US over the last two years, and I decided to offer free career advice in Washington Square Park in New York. And for the first 40 minutes, no one came, and honestly, it was like soul destroying. I had a friend filming it because I thought this was gonna go viral and it's just gonna be epic content. Yeah. And I was like, why am I doing this? And in that moment, I basically just had to remind myself that this will be a great story either way. Yeah. And so I like, you know, I'll just go ahead and turn it into a LinkedIn post, let's be honest. Of course, there's always a reflection we can share. So I think definitely when you're in moments where you don't feel like your confident is that confidence is the highest, or it's things aren't panning out as as you expected, just keep reminding yourself to be present in the moment, to think about the story you'll be able to tell or the lessons or learnings you can share. And then I think when it comes to doing things in general when you're not feeling as confident, it's really important to make sure that you are setting yourself up for what you need. So you and I might need completely different things. When I go give a talk, which is something I do a lot, I know that I need to get there an hour early. I need to check the space. I want to have seen photos of the space before I arrive, I want to make sure everything's working from a technical standpoint. I want to make sure I've had a really clear brief in advance and I'm aligned with the client, and that always happens. I've never ever been disaligned with my client. And I think it's all just these very basic, get the bare minimum right, yeah. So then you can focus on the stuff that feels hard. And then I think it's just really important to get remind yourself of your capacity. So I've tried to do street interviews in the past, and it's been at the end of a week when I'm exhausted, I'm burnt out, and I've like wimped out of going up to people because I'm too scared because actually my capacity is not at its highest to be my most confident self. So if we want to do brave and courageous things, we genuinely need to create the space. So maybe you need to have a free day on either side where you are fully focused on that big thing that you're scared of doing. It's like going to the gym. I did it for years where I was like, right, I'm gonna go to the gym at 7 p.m. at night after doing a 9 till 6 p.m. day, completely exhausted, and then trying to do something that I already find difficult. Yeah. So we have to be a bit more intentional and considerate about when we want to do these confidence building tasks, what's gonna set us up for success. And then finally just be compassionate to yourself if it's not working out. Like honestly, it's not that deep. You can try again, there's always gonna be another chance. I think we tell ourselves this narrative that this was my one and only shot. It's not, it's really not that it will happen again for you, I'm sure.

SPEAKER_01 28:06

Yeah, and it sounds so cliche, but everything happens for a reason. I lose out on an opportunity, a better one comes along, and I think you learn from every lesson. Um, what I always like to ask on business class, what has been the hardest thing that you've been through owning your business, and how has that shaped you as a person?

SPEAKER_03 28:22

Oh gosh, I mean there's a couple of things that spring to mind, but um I I would say the last two years, I I experienced quite a traumatic event, which I now know we can call something, call it a life quake. So it's like an earthquake where something quite significant happens in your life and it shakes your entire world upside down. And it means that you will never come out the same person and you have to rebirth, relearn. A bit like the hero's jour journey, you're sort of riding high, something happens and you drop down into the mud. And yeah, for like quite a significant time, I felt like I was in that mud. I felt really didn't feel creative. I was struggling to show up. I would, my mental health was not in a good place. I behind the scenes I'd be in bed and crying all day, and then I'd have to go stand on stage in front of 500 women or people and you know, empower them. And I think the big lesson during that process was it sounds really cliche, but make sure you love what you do. Yeah. Because the only thing that got me out of bed was, well, at least I bloody love what I'm doing right now. And even when I felt disconnected to it, I still felt pride in the things that I was doing and the things that I had committed to. I was still really happy with. I couldn't imagine have working for a company I hated in a soul-destroying environment, doing something that doesn't feel valuable. So I think it is really important to make sure that you know the work that you're doing you can be proud of even on the days when you are struggling the most. I think it's really, really important to think about that. And then I also just think, you know, in terms of those moments, it's giving yourself that compassion and understanding. I remember with regards to the gym, my therapist sort of said to me, Um, I was riding on a high and I was doing really well, keeping it consistently, which I never have been able to do. And she just when I fell off the wagon or was saying that, she just said, You'll go when you're ready. Yeah. And I think that's just a really important reminder. It's like that thing, you know, this will pass. Like these moments will pass and you will get through it, but when you're in the thick of it, it feels awful. Yeah. So just give yourself the grace and compassion. And something I did very quickly was I looked at my diary and essentially said, What's the first thing that needs to get begone out of my diary? Yeah. And you very quickly start to realise how much you overcommit and where you're overcommitting. Especially as women, we do this so much. So that's been a really big learning for me. I have a reasons to say yes list on my phone and a reasons to say no, so that I don't just follow the sparkly things or feel like, oh, well, this is my one and only chance. I really come back to it and go, hold on a minute, were you ever going to go towards that? Would you have ever pitched this yourself? Is this an opportunity that's landed in your lap, but it's going to take you away from something else? And I'm so proud of the boundaries I've set off the back of it. So if you're going through that feeling, just know that it won't last forever, but just give yourself the grace to work through it.

SPEAKER_01 31:04

Amazing. And what would you say, really quickly, has been your career highlight, something you've been incredibly proud of?

SPEAKER_03 31:11

Do you know what? I think for me it's impact in terms of I remember the first ever event I hosted, which was eight years ago. I hosted it in Shoreditch and it went amazingly well. It's all around self-promotion and knowing your worth. And I was in a shop the next day, and someone tapped my shoulder and said, I came to your event last night, and I've already asked my boss for a pay rise. Wow. And I honestly burst into tears in the middle of the day. They must have must have thought I was unhinged at the time. But it was such an emotional thing of being like, oh wow, that this works and this is gonna help people. So for me, it's like it would be a whole load of hot air if I was just standing on stages and saying things and wasn't seeing people implement this. And I think that's probably one of the proudest things that I have in terms of my legacy is that I know what I'm giving and sharing is helping to create positive action, and that's really all I can kind of hope for my long-lasting legacy in the industry and outside of it.

SPEAKER_01 32:03

Amazing. Well, thank you so much for coming on, Steph. It's been um I feel like I could speak to you for many more hours. Um, if people don't follow you in their listening, where can they find you and where can they support you on socials?

SPEAKER_03 32:15

Fuck being humble everywhere. So fuckbeinghumble.com, Steph with an F at fuckbeinghumble.com. Um and they also can follow at FBingHumble on all socials. You can buy a copy of both my books, so fuck being humble, uh, why self-promotion isn't a dirty word. And career come down, what to do when work isn't working for you. So that's a brand new book that I've recently released to help people reconnect with their careers because I think a lot of people are struggling with that right now. 100%. And then finally, LinkedIn. So feel free to add me Stephanie Saw Williams on that channel too.

SPEAKER_01 32:45

Amazing. Well, thank you so much, Steph. And I will see you on the next episode of Business Class.