Alzheimer's Thriver
Feeling Lost After an Alzheimer's Diagnosis? How Changing Your Story Can Change Your Life
Alzheimer's Thriver
Episode 15 - Important Interruptions
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Episode 15: Important Interruptions
In this heartfelt episode, Janna and Larry explore the challenges and realities of conversational flow when memory loss and slower speech patterns are present. They discuss the tension and humor of being interrupted, how interruptions can feel both frustrating and necessary, and the ways they’ve learned to “embrace the lag” to stay connected in family and group conversations.
Highlights from this episode:
· How interruptions can both hurt and help when navigating memory changes.
· Why “embracing the lag” opens up space for deeper connection.
· Practical tools Janna uses—like signaling and echoing—to stay engaged.
· What families can do to create patience and respect in conversations.
Listeners will walk away with fresh insight into the importance of slowing down, giving grace, and making room for every voice at the table—especially for those navigating Alzheimer’s or other memory challenges.
Further Reading & Studies on Patience in Conversations with Alzheimer’s
Collins et al., 2022 – Methods and approaches for enhancing communication in dementia. Published in PMC/NCBI. Shows that slower, patient communication and simplified methods help people with dementia be better understood. https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC9109550
Tappen et al., 2002 – Conversation Intervention with Alzheimer’s Patients. Published in PMC/NCBI. Found that giving patients more time to respond and avoiding interruptions improved communication abilities. https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC2239260
Sunjaya et al., 2025 – Communication strategies for delivering personalized dementia care. Published in Ageing (Oxford Academic). Highlights patience, pauses, and individualized pace as essential in dementia care conversations. https://academic.oup.com/ageing/article/54/5/afaf120/8131738
Additional Authoritative Resources:
National Institute on Aging – Communicating With Someone Who Has Alzheimer’s Disease: https://www.nia.nih.gov/health/alzheimers-changes-behavior-and-communication/communicating-someone-who-has-alzheimers
Alzheimer’s Association – Communication tips: https://www.alz.org/help-support/caregiving/daily-care/communications
Harvard Health – Bridging the Gap: Dementia Communication Strategies https://www.health.harvard.edu/mind-and-mood/bridging-the-gap-dementia-communication-strategies
Be sure to go to our website at alzheimersthriver.org to learn more about Larry and Janna's adventures.
Episode 15 - Important Interruptions
[Janna Plays Flute Intro ]
[Janna]
Hi everyone, I'm Janna, an Alzheimer's Thriver.
[Larry]
And this is her husband, Larry.
[Janna]
Today we're going to talk about important interruptions. Years ago, before knowing my buddy AL, I would be in the company of family and friends, and my ability to add into the conversation required me to hold onto a thought until there was a break, and then I'd speak.
Now, with all my self-confidence, I'd start to speak and say, "You know, the other day, wait a minute, no, I get it, I can get it, I can't get it." I lost what I was going to start my subject about. Along the path of trying to express myself, I've discovered that I need to take a deep breath and get my air ready to go to say what I'm going to say, have an idea of what I'm going to say, but then I go (sarcastically), "What was that?" So I put up a hand, and people are usually nice enough to let me wait, wait, and then say something.
If not, we have to go back and try it again. I can remember being interrupted before we talked about this, and I would be offended when you would interrupt me in the middle of my sentence, and I would think, and then, or if you didn't interrupt me, you would wait until the end, and you would say, you know, I wish I could have said something, but now I don't remember what I was going to say. And it is a little bit cantankerous on both of our parts when we do it that way, so we decide to have a little talk, and I just need not be offended when you interrupt me. I need to realize that that's something that you need to do. Okay. Okay, I'll take that, but you know, there's an interesting phenomenon that generally when there's people talking, and a lot of them are men, a lot of times I just start backing down because it's too hard to get the, the man is, got to finish his sentence, it seems like, got to finish his sentence, and I'll try and go along with my sentence, sometimes I'll do fine, but he's got to get it quicker, and he just jumps ahead.
[Larry]
Yeah, yeah.
[Janna]
And when he jumps ahead, and then it happens again, and again, pretty soon, it teaches me not to try, because I don't want to stumble.
[Larry]
Our family, particularly, talks fast.
[Janna]
We've got four men in the camp, in the group.
[Larry]
Yeah, true. And I notice their wives kind of a little bit more stand back too, but when, when the boys start talking, it's like there's rapid fire, and I, I mean, I even have trouble getting in there, but, but when it comes down to the care partner, when it comes down to either the person that's helping, or, or me in this case, the spouse, I'm glad we've had this conversation, so that I don't, I preemptively know that you're going to interrupt me at times, and then that way you can be a part of the conversation.
[Janna]
Yeah, and I always know that I'm going to get interrupted, so when one person speaks, and then I get to speak, somebody else gets to speak, I listen, and listen, and listen, but this, if I, if it goes on and on, and I'm not saying anything, I'm, I'm just listening, I start to lose my attention, so what do I do? I go, with my, with my what? Lips. Lips. With my lips. With my lips.
[Larry]
And you do the echoing, right?
[Janna]
And I think of the echoing, and I think, I'll try to think of the letters as they're echoing, so keep me engaged, because a lot of times it's a very long discussion.
[Larry]
Yeah, and that's really not, to have to rely on something that's going to keep you from feeling bored or bowled over, you need to be able to express yourself too. So I think, at least with our family, we need to have this discussion with them. They need to ahead and embrace the fact that they're going to be interrupted.
[Janna]
I think it would be really a good thing in our family for them to ask me I need to be heard?
[Larry]
That would be, that would be asking a lot, but then again, that's, if we have this, if we have a, kind of a serious conversation about it, I think it would, it would work, but on the fly, it might be kind of offensive to them too. So there's, there's that, there's the, the ability for you to hold onto a thought, and be able to express it in a timely manner, in a group, and that's the important interruption that we're talking about, right?
[Janna]
And the ability to, to have the grace to leave open spots, where a person could say a few things, because you're, you're real fast, you guys, and you can usually just go on and on and never leave an opening.
[Larry]
And as you're talking, there's going to be a lag between one thought and another sometimes, and so we've, we've coined this phrase, it's called embrace the lag.
[Janna]
Yeah.
[Larry]
Right? And I try to embrace the lag, and not jump in there, and interrupt you, in the middle of your thought.
[Janna]
And are you trying to educate your, our sons, and our, and our family, along that line?
[Larry]
Yeah, so this is something that we'll have to do, I know I haven't done it yet.
[Janna]
Because still, they'll realize that this is particular to my inability to talk real fast.
[Larry]
Right, right.
[Janna]
Okay, and they're going to be graciously learning to wait.
[Larry]
So this is probably something that a lot of people have to deal with, as their speech patterns do have a lag in them, and as their speech patterns change, their thinking process changes. It doesn't mean that they're not still in there, and that they have nothing to share. It's just that they're waiting, and in your case, waiting to, to say something, and then by the time it's your turn to talk, you know, that thought may be gone.
I've actually had that experience, you know, myself. All through my life, I've had that experience, where I'll go to say something, finally, and because there was so many intermittent thoughts from different people that came along. You lose your train of thought. I forgot.
[Janna]
Right.
[Larry]
And then you get the fear of losing it. So while you're thinking about it, you're thinking, I've got to keep it, I've got to keep it, I've got to keep it, and then you're just afraid you're going to lose it. And sure enough, it's like a self-fulfilling prophecy, it's gone.
So two things. Important interruptions, we need to embrace that, and then the other thing is to embrace the lag that occurs during a speech.
[Janna]
And not panic when it happens. I frequently will put my hand up and go, wait a minute, give me a moment. Okay, and then if I can go with it, fine, I go, I'll have to come back later, or can we just be quiet for a second.
Something to give me a little reprieve. I have a care partner that I meet with once a week, and she's very patient. At the beginning it was just we would speak just normally and try to be polite, but at one point I got to the point where I said, okay, I'll just put up my hand when I'm trying to finish what I'm saying, and she'll just wait, and then I'll start speaking again.
And it leaves it so there's a, mmm, mmm, is it a, is it a, mmm, what's that called when you go, help me out with this word, Larry. It's a lull, it's a lull, but it's not meant to be awkward, it's meant to put up your hand and go, okay, wait a minute, so I can get on board again.
[Larry]
So you just want silence, you want to be able to think, right?
[Janna]
Yeah.
[Larry]
This is the part of the lag that maybe we were talking about.
[Janna]
Yeah, it's very unnatural for people. Most people just chatter along and chatter along, and some are shy, for sure. I didn't used to be so outgoing.
I was much more shy than others, much, I've been, I don't know what I'm saying, to example.
[Larry]
That's all right, this is part of the thing, that people out there know that we have an authentic thing going on here when you talk that way, because losing a thought is very authentic and transparent.
[Janna]
You know what hits me so much, is I notice quiet people, and I think, oh look, they're very quiet, they're probably shy, they're probably shy. Well they probably tried to, I think now, as old as I am, these people who hold back might be people that just aren't going to push, aren't going to push, aren't going to push, and so they've kind of learned to not say stuff, and that's sad. We all need to learn to bring in each other's thoughts.
[Larry]
Well, and on my end, and on the end of those people that are with Alzheimer's patients, we need to embrace the reality that we're not good listeners if we are constantly having to talk, and constantly having to jump in, constantly having a thought, and while we're, while someone's talking, we're thinking about what we're going to say, and so are we really listening, and is it really a deep conversation, or is it just, you know, everybody just saying what they want to say to hear themselves talk, and so that's something for us to learn, and I'm sure a lot of people out there don't have this problem, but I've had this problem throughout my life where, you know, someone says something, and it triggers a memory, and then I just go off on my memory, and then afterwards I realize, dang, I didn't, that person even finished their thought.
[Janna]
Took over.
[Larry]
Took over, yeah, the conversation, so it's all part of active listening, good listening qualities on our part, too.
[Janna]
That's part of the finesse that our leader gives us, that she pulls people in to speak appropriately, and everybody is polite, and we seem to be able to all express ourselves easily that way if we keep the tone down, don't get too wrapped up.
[Larry]
I don't think she'll mind if you mention her name is Tracy.
[Janna]
Yeah, yeah, she's great.
[Larry]
She's in our support group. Yeah, and I'm just glad that we're talking about this because it's a topic maybe I wouldn't have thought of except that you had brought it up, and there's another thing, and this is all part of what's causing the lag, and I think everyone needs to maybe stop and consider this when they are watching TV or looking at a video. Maybe you're mirroring the iPhone, and you're looking at a video on the screen, or there are a lot of movies and TV shows and whatnot that are really not looking at anything longer than five seconds before they change to a different angle on the view, or a different scene all together, or just five-second attention span, and that's what they're gearing it toward. And what you've said to me when I do a video, or if I'm watching something on TV and I change the channel real quick, and you don't know that it's going to be changed, or if I change the video, or I pause it, or whatever, okay, it's rude.
So what have you wanted me to do when, let's say we're watching a YouTube video, and all of a sudden, I change to a different short or a different video, and that just kind of throws you.
[Janna]
Okay, to back up a little bit, I would say that when you're thinking about that, and you're about to change your thought, you should go, wait a minute, this isn't me, this is us. Look to each other. Do you want to keep going with this, or do you want maybe we should go to a different show?
[Larry]
Yeah, so inform you instead of just...
[Janna]
So you don't have to beg for the chance.
[Larry]
Yeah.
[Janna]
And I interrupted you just then, I'm sorry.
[Larry]
No, that's okay.
[Janna]
No.
[Larry]
I was rambling anyway, but basically, I think you get the point is that ...and that's why we watched recently an old movie "On Golden Pond," with Henry Fonda and Catherine Hepburn, because it'll stay on a scene long enough to where you can kind of focus on it, and then when it changes a scene, it's not flashing all around like a Marvel movie or something. It's actually giving you a moment to process it. And that might be a good suggestion is just to...
[Janna]
Maybe reflect is a good word.
[Larry]
Yeah.
[Janna]
To reflect, let it lay for a moment.
[Larry]
But whoever's controlling the channel changer needs to respect, especially in this kind of a situation. And so I've agreed to do that.
[Janna]
I'm going to be working on it. Oh, really?
[Larry]
Did you start?
[Janna]
No. You're coming on.
[Larry]
You didn't notice, huh? Yeah.
Yeah, and sometimes, and I should tell you, too, that sometimes these YouTube shorts that only last for, you know, 10 seconds or whatever, they stop themselves. So Janna, you thought that I was pushing stop or pushing pause, but actually it ends quickly and it's not even the whole thing. It's just like a little short from a TikTok or something.
[Janna]
If I could interject, yeah, I'm listening, I'm listening, I'm working, watching and waiting for a chance to get in. And then there's a, I think maybe I can say something, and it just goes across the, what, the page? The screen.
It just goes across the screen and they're on something different and it's very off-putting for me. I need trans... What's that called? Trans...
\[Larry]
Do you need to make a transition?
[Janna]
Transitions. Transitions would be great, but I don't know if we even do transitions these days. Yeah, we're in the TikTok generation and people are being bombarded with quick, fast-changing scenes on screens and it's affecting our attention span.
[Larry]
But I think for you and others that have AD, it's...
[Janna]
Destructive. It can be very destructive.
[Larry]
Yeah, you said it completely throws you for a loop. Yeah.
[Janna]
It's hard enough when you're shy or short on having the nerve to speak, to start to speak and then be cut off. You only do, for us Alzheimer's people, you only do that maybe once or twice and then just in your head, I go, I'm not going to try. I don't want to embarrass myself.
[Larry]
I wanted to mention something before we close this podcast on Important Interruptions and Embracing the Lag. I want to just mention that we have started putting this on YouTube, these podcasts with visuals, so that it's fun kind of to watch these podcasts with the visuals. It's not her and I, it's not you and I having our conversation.
It's just appropriate videos and photographs and charts and things that go along with it. But it might be worth checking out, you guys. It's on YouTube and it's under Alzheimer's Thriver and you can check that out.
We've also got a website where we have a lot of information now that we didn't have originally and pictures and the studies. At the end of each podcast, I haven't mentioned this before, I don't think, but at the end of each podcast, there's a transcript. You can get that on the podcast there or you can get it on YouTube as well and especially on the website, which is alzheimersthriver.org, all one word. The studies that we do, like right now we're talking about this lag and we're talking about important interruptions. There'll be studies at the end of this that corroborate what we're talking about here today. And even though we're being spontaneous and we're just kind of throwing stuff out here, there are studies that go along with each of these podcasts and it might be fun for you to just click on those, check it out.
[Janna]
This is Janna and Alzheimer's Thriver.
[Larry]
And this is Larry and we're signing off for this episode of Alzheimer's Thriver, words from the horse's mouth.
[Janna Plays Flute Outro]
_________________________________________________________________________________________________
Further Reading & Studies on Patience in Conversations with Alzheimer’s
Collins et al., 2022 – Methods and approaches for enhancing communication in dementia. Published in PMC/NCBI. Shows that slower, patient communication and simplified methods help people with dementia be better understood. https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC9109550
Tappen et al., 2002 – Conversation Intervention with Alzheimer’s Patients. Published in PMC/NCBI. Found that giving patients more time to respond and avoiding interruptions improved communication abilities. https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC2239260
Sunjaya et al., 2025 – Communication strategies for delivering personalized dementia care. Published in Ageing (Oxford Academic). Highlights patience, pauses, and individualized pace as essential in dementia care conversations. https://academic.oup.com/ageing/article/54/5/afaf120/8131738
Additional Authoritative Resources:
National Institute on Aging – Communicating With Someone Who Has Alzheimer’s Disease: https://www.nia.nih.gov/health/alzheimers-changes-behavior-and-communication/communicating-someone-who-has-alzheimers
Alzheimer’s Association – Communication tips: https://www.alz.org/help-support/caregiving/daily-care/communications
Harvard Health – Bridging the Gap: Dementia Communication Strategies https://www.health.harvard.edu/mind-and-mood/bridging-the-gap-dementia-communication-strategies