Why Time Apart Makes Your Relationship Stronger

How much time should couples spend together- and how much time should they spend apart?

In Episode 16 of Our Life Is a Honeymoon, Tim and Amy talk about the importance of maintaining your own identity within a relationship. From solo hobbies and friendships to time with family and personal interests, they share how creating space has actually made their relationship stronger, healthier, and more fulfilling.

They open up about what it looked like early on—when everything was shared—and how over time they learned to support each other in building independent lives while staying deeply connected as a couple.

You’ll hear:

✨ Why having your own identity is essential in a relationship
✨ How time apart can actually strengthen connection and trust
✨ Supporting your partner’s hobbies, friendships, and interests
✨ Navigating solo time, family visits, and social lives
✨ The balance between independence and togetherness
✨ Why trust is the foundation of healthy space in a relationship

They also share real-life examples- from solo concerts and nights out with friends to parenting, travel, and everyday routines- that show how this balance plays out in their lives.

At its core, this episode is about one powerful idea:

You don’t need to lose yourself to be in a loving relationship.

Does this idea resonate with you?
Do you and your partner have space for your own identities?

We’d love to hear your experience 💛

🤝 Sponsor

This episode is brought to you in part by Considine Homes, proudly serving your real estate needs in South Florida with honesty and integrity, and offering trusted referral partnerships in all 50 states and beyond.

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Transcript

SPEAKER_02 0:01

Hey everybody! Welcome to episode number 16. And um, today's episode is all about the importance of having your own solo time or time with friends that are not your partner as a way to keep your relationship healthy. So we are excited to dive right into this in a minute.

SPEAKER_00 0:29

That we know.

SPEAKER_02 0:30

And together we want to share that story with you.

SPEAKER_00 0:33

As well as all of the practices we do to keep our relationship thriving.

SPEAKER_02 0:38

Because to us, it feels like our life is a honeymoon.

SPEAKER_00 0:42

We want that to enjoy for all of you. I'm Tim.

SPEAKER_02 0:46

I'm Amy, and this is our podcast. This podcast is brought to you in part by Considine Homes, proudly serving your real estate needs in South Florida with honesty and integrity and offering trusted referral partnerships in all 50 states and beyond.

SPEAKER_00 1:07

All right, so before we dive into the topic of today's episode, I wanted to share some exciting news. We have uh adopted a new cat. Her name is Eve.

SPEAKER_01 1:17

She's so cute.

SPEAKER_00 1:18

She came from the parking lot at my work and um just wanted to share that exciting news. Maybe uh we'll post a picture on one of our social medias.

SPEAKER_02 1:26

Yeah, we sure will. Yeah, yeah. I mean, I'm gonna give pause for a minute and keep talking about this.

SPEAKER_00 1:32

Oh, it's P A W S.

SPEAKER_02 1:35

Something else, Tim. You're something else. Um I want to really highlight how amazing this is. So Tim moved here from Seattle, and he is an animal lover. He's vegan, so he clearly does care about animals. But, you know, he had lived with a dog in Seattle and um he came here and I was a major cat lover, aficionado, if you will. And um, so when he first came, I was like, honey, you gotta start carrying um, you know, a little container of cat food in your trunk. So if you ever come across a stray cat, um, you know, or raccoon.

SPEAKER_01 2:11

I've never fed a raccoon.

SPEAKER_02 2:12

I've fed many. Um because they live in colonies with cats. But, anyways, you know, if you ever see a hungry animal, it's uh people have their own opinions on this, but I want to feed them, you know, I don't want to see them suffer. So that went from Tim um having a little bit of cat food in his trunk to now, what are they, 20, 25-pound bags of maintenance cat from Costco? Um, because he has been feeding for years now a colony outside of his work. And um little Eve really tugged on his heart strings.

SPEAKER_01 2:42

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 2:43

Yeah. And so um he he fell in love and and she was um trusting enough that he was able to catch her and bring her home. And she came in the house pretty feral, and in about a week, I mean just a couple days, like she really has domesticated and she's awesome, and she has her purr, and um so I love her. So thank you for bringing that bundle of sweet joy into our household.

SPEAKER_00 3:10

Yeah, she's she's a cutie for sure.

SPEAKER_02 3:12

Yeah, yeah, she's only nine months old and she's super cute. So yeah, we'll post a picture.

SPEAKER_00 3:16

Yeah, all right. So back on time. I mean, it's kind of it kind of goes along with the episode where I formed this relationship with the cat, and it was something that I would do at work, kind of on my own, and you know, just feeding uh so the reason that the so the topic of having our own identities is important to me because early on in the relationship I just said yes to every single thing that that we that Amy wanted to do, and uh I was just along for the ride because it was new, it was exciting, and and I still am, honestly, but I also had to kind of reel it in a little bit to to uh like help form my own opinion, my own identity. Because you know, Amy is a very strong-willed person, and I am a very submissive. I am a go with the flow, and there's no right or wrong way to be. And it our relationship works very well because of that.

SPEAKER_01 4:09

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 4:09

And I just over the years have really started to kind of learn who I am and what I like, what I don't like. I really got into just different things. And so the this whole version of our relationship, I feel like is the healthiest it's ever been. Oh, for sure. Um, with just all the things that we do, it just feels really good to to have this kind of uh there's like three identities. It's like the our relationship is one, then yours is one, and then mine is one. So yeah.

SPEAKER_02 4:39

Yeah, yeah, yeah, definitely. So, I mean, on my end, like I have a best friend Kristen. Hey Kristen, and um, you know, I like to do stuff with her. Like sometimes we like to go out dancing, sometimes we like to go out dancing pretty late. Um, we like to go to the casino, we like to gamble a little bit, we like to go play bingo, we like to do whatever. And um, what's awesome, you know, sometimes Tim comes along with us because we all get along very well. But what I love is that I can say, I'm gonna go out with Kristen and we'll probably be out late because it's gonna be a really good night of dancing. So I might not be home until after three. And he is like, okay, have fun. There's like zero guilt. We trust each other, and it just feels really good to just know that like I can have fun without. I I've seen so many people in relationships where it's like a partner is calling and almost trying to sabotage that night out. And nope, we'll send each other, you know, I'll send him a funny video, or if he's solo, he'll send me a video from where he is. Not that we have to, but you know, just because it's fun to share things. But you know, it's really important, or there might be other things that I want to do by myself. And um I just think it's important. It feels really good to have my own identity.

SPEAKER_00 5:54

Yep, yep. And for me, um, just seeing Amy have all that fun also is you know, it brings me joy to see her having fun in like I'm not a big casino guy, like I will go occasionally, but the only times I've ever been to a casino, one is when I went to go see Eddie Money in 2014. I was I am and was a big Eddie Money fan, and one of my highlights is when I met him, and I actually have an autograph of my one of the records. I actually brought a record to the casino, and he complimented me on how I looked, and that's what I loved about him.

SPEAKER_02 6:30

He was what did he say to you, Tim?

SPEAKER_00 6:31

He said I looked like I was in a band, and I was. Yeah. I remember I think I wore like a vest or something and a tie. I I went all out and I had like the sleeves rolled up, I had my tattoo, and um, I just remember anyway, so casino. Amy, I it makes me happy to see Amy get to do things that that like I necessarily don't want to do, you know.

SPEAKER_02 6:51

Well, yeah, sure, because you don't have to do it.

SPEAKER_00 6:55

But uh but yeah, and so for me, I'm actually wearing a band t-shirt of this band named Converge, a band that I've loved since like 2001. And uh so I will still enjoy listening to the music. I don't listen to it when Amy's around.

SPEAKER_02 7:12

I have like records I'll put on when she's just out with Kristen at the casino.

SPEAKER_00 7:17

And so it's like there's this side of me that like is really important to me, but it doesn't really jive with Amy. And there's nothing wrong with that. It's like not everything I like, Amy has to like, and that's kind of something that I feel like could be a problem in some relationships. I feel like I've heard like it's just like they want everyone, like the partner to be their everything. I mean, it is like, oh, you're my everything, but not really.

SPEAKER_02 7:40

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. We're allowed, I and don't get me wrong, I like rock music a lot and all variations, but this like scream metal is as well. It's it's a little aggressive.

SPEAKER_00 7:50

It's very niche. Yeah, yeah. And so just last week and last weekend, I went to go see a band called Poison the Well. They are very heavy, and I felt like when I went there, I went there by myself actually, and I just felt like I was felt great. I felt really, really like it's like a a certain, it's almost like people that go to respectables are kind of like alternative tattoos, piercings. I just feel really comfortable around those people, and it just it's like it's like a a revitalizing of of my own energy with this heavy music. It's kind of hard to explain, but I also have a friend named Ryan. We've shot out them. Um Ryan and Meg. Love you guys. He and I also like scary movies and heavy music, and he and I will go to concerts or watch scary movies together. We've gone to Hollywood Horror Nights or Halloween Horror Nights at Universal Studios. Sorry, Disney. We I usually don't go to Universal. Blasphemy. Um, and then sometimes it backfires going solo. Um, I went to go to see um uh there's this huge rock festival called Welcome to Rockville, and Ryan, my my heavy horror movie friend, heavy, heavy music horror movie friend, he's not heavy.

SPEAKER_02 9:02

And if he was that would be okay.

SPEAKER_00 9:03

Yeah, yeah. He um he was in France and it just got held up, like got robbed or something, like stuff got taken out of his car, so he wasn't able to make Welcome to Rockville while he was originally going to go for two of the four days, and I was like, I'm going for all four days. I'm gonna make this huge, like, like just amazing like retreat.

SPEAKER_02 9:21

It's like a very heav heavy um festival.

SPEAKER_00 9:24

Yeah, a lot of like heavy music. And to me, it it was it was traumatizing. And uh I just I was just so not prepared for what I was I signed up for. The the it was just a lot to do solo because like I I was only supposed to do half of it solo as Metallica was playing two nights, and he was like, I'm gonna go for those nights for sure, but I don't think I can make all four. And I was like, he can't make it, I'm still gonna go. It I felt like like uh just just like a baby in a like a biker bar. I just felt unprepared. And so, long story short, it's a great story, but uh you know, it's like it was a learning experience. I did on my own. I was proud I did it, and and I was supportive. Yeah, you were very supportive. And so yeah, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 10:14

Yeah, yeah. And I just cuddled him and protected him when he came back home. Yeah, that was uh something else.

SPEAKER_00 10:20

And so and then on a on a similar, I play guitar and I've played in bands, and so another one of my own hobbies is something that I I do solo that Amy is not really part of, is I'm always just playing my guitar.

SPEAKER_02 10:33

Well, I love it.

SPEAKER_00 10:34

Yeah, she listens to it when I'm playing, usually just on the bed or whatever. We have a small house.

SPEAKER_02 10:40

I don't I don't have an option, but I love it.

SPEAKER_00 10:42

I uh it it's beautiful, and she encourages it, and uh and yeah, so that's another thing, and then also um my spiritual uh Buddhist kind of hobby exploration side of my personality is something that I I signed up. I think I talked a little bit about it, it was a two-year online meditation course. Uh, mindfulness meditation. It's it's a mouthful. I became a mindfulness meditation teacher, and that's something you supported, and it you know cost some money, cost a lot of time.

SPEAKER_02 11:14

Yeah, two-year program. It was a big commitment.

SPEAKER_00 11:17

Yeah, and Amy was very supportive, and it was you know, she participated when she could, like I had to teach the classes, and so she, you know, did show up in that way, which I appreciated. And uh, and then one of the courses it was for only men, and I was able to do it without her and with friends and family. And it was just a side of me that that she, you know, she's interested in parts of that, but like the Buddhist side is kind of something I kind of explore on my own. Yeah, I really she it's just it's just another another example of of something that I do.

SPEAKER_02 11:48

Yeah, I mean we're both spiritual, but I'm not necessarily led to Buddhism. I mean, I appreciate the practices and the teachings. I mean, I think they're spot on, but um, yeah, so that's something that you study on your own and um fills my cup. I just go over here living my best life over here.

SPEAKER_00 12:04

She likes to travel to different galaxies for meditate. Thank you. I uh I like to focus on the Buddha.

SPEAKER_02 12:12

Yeah, I I have some pretty crazy meditations, but anywho, that is a whole nother topic. Um, yeah, so another way that we um coexist peacefully but separately, um, family travel. Now, Tim has a job where he only has a certain number of days that he can take off a year. And so obviously, of course, I think we both love when each other can go to visit each other's families, but sometimes he just can't come. My family lives up in Maine, so I'll go, I'll bring the kids, we'll go spend time. I'd say, you know, maybe every other year he comes along. And then um on the flip side, he goes to visit his family. I my job is a little bit more flexible. I'm in real estate, so um, I can kind of create my own schedule, but sometimes I think it's healthy that he just is there alone because it's a different kind of um visit at home when you know, when you have your partner and when you're just yourself with your family. So we're both super supportive of, you know, however these trips look.

SPEAKER_00 13:12

Yeah, yeah. And the early on, like again, for me, it was like, oh, I have to go, I like I should go. And then I just I was kind of pushing myself too hard, and I just remember kind of feeling guilty at first, like, oh, I can't go, like, why am I not going? And then your parents are where's him? And and then just over the years, it like it's like that that just didn't work. And uh and the thing we haven't done yet, which it could be an interesting uh experiment, is I go to your family without you. I think you come to my family without me.

SPEAKER_02 13:47

Oh boy.

SPEAKER_00 13:48

Kind of like the time um when we first met when uh I got to uh inter uh interviewed by your mom and you were off to the side. So Amy's like, hey, like you want to meet my mom? And then she just slowly slides off camera.

SPEAKER_02 14:03

Tim lived in Seattle when we first met and when we first became in a relationship. And my parents uh and I lived in South Florida, I still do live in South Florida. My parents at that time lived in Vermont, they were here on vacation. So I was like, oh, let's it wasn't even Zoom, it was Skype back then. Oh yeah. Yeah. Like, oh, let's Skype with my mom. And I mean, there's only so much space on the camera. So look at this.

SPEAKER_00 14:25

We I mean if you're watching us, you can see that we're both fitting perfectly in a small screen.

SPEAKER_02 14:31

Well, the camera was much closer. So regardless, I was there, but um, I scooched over. Uh but we were at a dining table with a bench, so it was just I was there, but Tim couldn't see me, so he was just looking at my known for like an hour.

SPEAKER_00 14:46

She's a a gabber and I can keep up, but it was uh it was it just kind of felt like that joke I made of of her going to see my family without me or me going to see it was just like our sudden Amy's nowhere to be seen, and I'm just I feel like you and my mom could go on like a three-month vacation, just the two of you, and really just get along.

SPEAKER_02 15:06

You guys are pretty similar.

SPEAKER_00 15:07

Yes, all right. So moving along the back on track. The next kind of thing we wanted to talk about within our own identities of within the relationship is building for me, building relationships with Amy's children. It wasn't something that a lot, like everything kind of started just as a group, like we'll go to the movies together, we'll go out to dinner, we'll do this. And then over time, we started. Um Phoenix and I I feel like connected early on easily. Star was a teenage, like a young tween.

SPEAKER_02 15:35

Yeah, why don't we say how old they were when you first came out?

SPEAKER_00 15:38

Yeah, when I first moved into uh this planet called Florida.

SPEAKER_02 15:44

Dear God, get us out.

SPEAKER_00 15:46

And then into the family. Uh the children were eight and eleven. Phoenix was eight, star was eleven. And so Phoenix and I bonded early on, I think over like Nintendo. Like I brought like a club vintage Nintendo, and he and I would play video games and like Mario 1 and 2 on this little Nintendo, and and then eventually started going to like sports games more recently, baseball, basketball. We we both collect um sports cards, and that's something we bonded over. And so it just felt really good to without Amy having to be there, just like you know, building like Amy doesn't really like to play video games. So Phoenix and I got to like he liked to play video games. I like it. So it was just these kind of things that that like I got to explore like my own hobby of like when I was a kid, I played video games. When I was a kid, I collected cards and it's just like to to have that because I remember one time you came in to when Phoenix and I were playing that basketball game, you're like, Oh, I'm I I haven't seen the side of you because I was kind of like yelling at the screen.

SPEAKER_02 16:48

Oh yeah, that game a long time ago.

SPEAKER_00 16:50

Yeah, it was like a PlayStation game, like NBA hang time or something.

SPEAKER_02 16:53

Yeah, yeah, yeah. To to note too, like for people couples that are like married and have kids or not married, but like have kids together, this might be like, well, yeah, of course. But like, you know, Tim was living in Seattle, no kids, living the single bachelor's life, and then he moved into a pre-made family. So um, you know, that's how you know these building of relationships and having separate relationships without me being part of it has been pretty cool to watch.

SPEAKER_00 17:23

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Good point. And then with Star early on, once she started liking me.

SPEAKER_02 17:32

Took a while, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 17:33

And uh not because anything I did. When you're that age, uh it's just like you know, she gave you our. I mean, which uh any tween teenager or young teenager, it's it's like they're just that that biological age where things just get again go haywire. And so I would share with her music and like the band Deftones is something I shared with her, I guess, early on. I barely remember it, but she's like, Oh yeah, you showed me Deft Tones, and then later on for Christmas a couple years ago, she bought she bought tickets for us to see Deftones together, and that was a huge highlight for for me in our relationship together.

SPEAKER_02 18:12

Yeah, yeah, solo.

SPEAKER_00 18:13

Yeah, just her and I together, and it was the first time we'd ever done anything like that, and it was amazing. And I think yeah, we went out to dinner somewhere beforehand, I don't remember where, but it was it was just a really fun time. And uh the thing y'all, another thing, like that style of music Amy could enjoy, but it's a little heavier, some screamy, and that's something Star and I got to bond on. And and uh and yeah, that's we've talked about doing other things, but you know, she's moved out and kind of has her own life now, and so it hasn't we haven't connected as much as I'd like to, but it's it's like the seeds are there and the things are things are flowing and going. And she'll t will text things like we were out shopping a couple weeks ago and I saw something that said like this um is a gift for a star, and I I put my thumb over the the egg and it says this is a gift for star, and I took a picture of her and I sent it to her, you know, just small things just reaching out to her.

SPEAKER_02 19:07

Yeah, it's super sweet, yeah. And so, likewise, I mean, they're my kids, so obviously I'm gonna spend time with them. That um is beyond a shadow of a doubt, but you know, it still is. I mean, I can see that there could be some relationships where the new guy comes in, but like everybody's together all the time. So, like, for example, uh me and my children, we get our own um hobbies as well. And so Phoenix and I love cars. I mean, I think I probably love cars more than Tim loves cars. So every year, Barrett Jackson comes to the area.

SPEAKER_00 19:37

What is Barrett Jackson? What what I I didn't know about Barrett Jackson, like what is that?

SPEAKER_02 19:41

It's like a huge car show and car auction. I think it's the biggest one in the country. They they do one in Arizona and one here. And so, anyways, there's just a bunch of of either old vintage or like super expensive, fancy cars, and Phoenix and I love it. So um, that's coming here to uh West Palm Beach in April. So I'm gonna go do that alone with Phoenix, obviously, no problem. I wouldn't be with a man that had a problem with me spending time with my kids. And um a band that star and I love Tame and Paula is coming to Miami. And so Tim could have come. He decided not to. So Star, her boyfriend, and I are all gonna go see Tame and Paula together. But you know, it just feels good like that we're not in a suffocating relationship where Tim's like, ah, you know what? I work that day, we're not going. Like that never, that would never, ever, ever, ever happen. And so I'm gonna come back happy, and Tim's gonna have had a nice night by himself, and everybody's gonna win.

SPEAKER_00 20:39

Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Yeah, yeah. And then um the there's another thing that Amy does where she's going to networking and also uh I mean I'll maybe even mention calm coloring. That's like I don't always participate.

SPEAKER_02 20:56

So with my business, I do network, I'm in a networking group. Um, and so once a month we have um evening networking events. Sometimes your partners are invited, sometimes it's just the group members. Um, recently I put together a ladies' night for my networking ladies. Um uh I do lead a local uh class at the library called Calm Coloring, where it's like meditative coloring. And um, so all these things, well, not the ladies' night, but anything that Tim's invited to, he is invited to it, and he can choose to say yes, or he can choose to say no, and there's no guilt from me, there's no pressure. Like if he is feeling like he wants to get out and social and you know, spend time with the people in my networking group, that's awesome. If he's not feeling up for it, why would I ever want to drag him out and have him not feel happy? I mean, that sounds toxic. So, in that scenario, he can stay. Home alone, or maybe do something with one of the kids, drive Phoenix to soccer, who knows? I mean, that happens a lot. If I have an event, a business event in the evening. Um, Phoenix, my son plays travel soccer, so there's a lot of driving involved. And not once has there ever been a problem where I say, I can't drive Phoenix on this specific night. We we split the driving anyway, but you know, Tim has always go to your event, I've got Phoenix, never a problem. And that feels really good and really supportive.

SPEAKER_00 22:27

And vice versa. Sometimes like you'll all have something and you know, Phoenix needs to go somewhere, and there's never we never like pressure. There's it's just another part of our relationship that we've been intentional about over the years and has just kind of worked its like second nature, just kind of once Phoenix learns how to drive and has his own car, it's gonna be a game changer. I don't want him driving that far.

SPEAKER_02 22:53

I'm a helicopter mom, I'm not gonna lie. He's 16 and a half and he likes to ride his bicycle, and I don't have a problem with it.

SPEAKER_00 23:00

But I uh it just as we're talking, it's like a lot of our planning is around driving Phoenix, and so it's gonna be interesting when star. You know, uh she's almost 20 now, but I remember just the sh the huge shift it made in time and energy when she got a car when she was 18. It's like another another and Phoenix is a great driver, and yeah, I think he'll be the most responsible. So yeah.

SPEAKER_02 23:32

Yeah, uh another thing I want to add, it's not really on topic, but kind of when we're talking about soccer. So Phoenix has soccer usually training three nights a week. And like I said, Tim and I will look at um who wants to do the two nights. We also have a system where whoever goes to soccer, the other one cooks and picks up the dishes. So, you know, who would rather be the cook two nights a week, yada yada, yada, and now I'm losing my train of thought. Oh, but I also think it's really healthy that if I have something, an event, and Tim has an event, sometimes Phoenix has to miss soccer practice and he understands that, but you know, we're self-care is really important. And I think this episode, kind of without saying it, is about self-care and meeting your own needs. And I think sometimes parents or stepparents can, you know, drain yourself dry with putting the child in this position. And I mean, our kids are very, very important, but we are important too. And sometimes he gets to mispractice too. So we're we're just a team, we're all a team, and we we get to do what we love, but we get to honor each other as well.

SPEAKER_00 24:44

Phoenix always understands.

SPEAKER_02 24:46

Oh, yeah, he's such a good kid.

SPEAKER_00 24:48

Yeah, yeah. And so kind of zooming out, I kind of like how you you were kind of already started on it. Like we're like filling our own cups without relying specifically on the partner for that. I mean, it's it's it's good to get support and love and have the cup full within the you know relationship, but it's also important to not only rely on that and to rely on your own needs and wants to fulfill on, you know, to fulfill outside.

SPEAKER_02 25:20

Yeah, you know, it's not our job to make each other happy. It's our job to arrive in this relationship as two full people.

SPEAKER_00 25:27

Yeah, yeah. And then that allows me to show up better when I kind of feel that I've I've had like you know, great experiences that I can, you know, come home and share with Amy. And like, oh, you know, at the concert I saw this, I talked to these people, or you know, this happened, and you know, she gets to see me get excited about the things that I care about, and vice versa, where she'll come home and tell me, Oh my god, this cool thing happened, and just to see the excitement, you know, just like another another just great thing about our relationship.

SPEAKER_02 25:57

It is, yeah. Tim will um send me videos from some of these concerts, and it is just like a burly man fest with like a mosh pit that Tim is not inside of, he's on the outskirts, but I'm just like, thank the Lord, I am home in my PJs, he can have this all day, all night, and go for it.

SPEAKER_00 26:16

Yeah, yeah, yeah. The uh yeah, just the importance of I mean, I've seen relationships where it's like they I mean different strokes for different folks. Yeah. There's no judgment. It's just I've seen just other couples where it's like they don't know how to be without the other person. It's like uh uh and they like again, it's like you get both or you get none. And it's like you see the other person without you just don't see the other person without the other partner.

SPEAKER_01 26:46

And so yeah, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 26:47

And so just it feels good to just be ourselves and then together be a couple and and just kind of bounce around with all of that.

SPEAKER_02 26:58

Yeah, I think another factor now that I'm thinking about it too is trust. Yeah, and so participating in a relationship where there's full trust. I don't think that you can have this kind of um situation without it. So good point. Yeah, thank you. Thank you, honey.

SPEAKER_00 27:14

And so for our listener invite today, we have the question Does any of this resonate with you guys? The uh kind of like three three identities. There's two partners who each have their own identity, and then there's the identity of the couple. Uh so that's something that we over the years have really resonated with. So we're interested. Yeah please reach out to the code. How does it work with you? If that's something, uh or have you struggled with this? Do you do you not really know how to have your own identity outside of a relationship, which which is something that or do you only have outside identities?

SPEAKER_02 27:51

And is there no meeting in the middle? Have you become roommates? That's a yeah, that's a whole nother topic. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Okay, so you get you good there?

SPEAKER_01 28:00

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 28:01

Okay, so we are gonna do our happily ever after. It's our segment where you get to know us a little bit better because I know you just want to. Um so we're gonna do again um pulling a card from this card deck. It's called Our Moments for Couples, and uh, they're just little kind of conversation starters. So last time we played, you picked the card. So I'm gonna pick it today, Tim. It's not awkward. Oh, this is nice. What do you most look forward to about getting old?

SPEAKER_00 28:37

That's an interesting question. I uh what do I most look forward to about getting old? Um I feel like as I get older already, I just feel like I make better choices and I I feel like more more wisdom and uh just seeing kind of how I used to think or behave or believe certain things, I just know that it's like I feel like I I said this once, like some people, or maybe Bob Dylan, I don't know.

SPEAKER_01 29:14

Oh my god.

SPEAKER_00 29:17

I sometimes get those two people mixed up.

SPEAKER_02 29:19

Shut up.

SPEAKER_00 29:20

No, but it's like it's if it's not something he said it sounds like something he would say. It was like some people, um, not everybody gets older as they get wiser, some people just get older, or like I it's not everybody gets wiser as they get older.

SPEAKER_02 29:34

Yeah. Maybe not older as well.

SPEAKER_00 29:36

Yeah, it's like I can't it's I'm butchering my own thought. It's perhaps not your thought. It's it's like I feel like as I get older, I get wiser. And I don't feel like that's the case for everybody. It's like I'm really intentionally trying to learn and grow and you know, go into therapy and you know, working couples therapy, and just all the different things that I feel like come. It it's not guaranteed that as you get older you get wiser. Yeah, and I I because I feel like there are some people like get stuck in their ways early on, like at 30. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then they're 80 and nothing's changed. But I I feel like for me, it's almost like uh when we imagine our future self, like like you have your Hamama and I have Timothy, it's like a a wiser version of me to like become that person. I'll say I'll just say that long-winded version.

SPEAKER_02 30:21

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 30:21

To become that like future wise self.

SPEAKER_02 30:24

Well, I can say um that I see that for you because you put so much effort into growing on a daily basis, and um, it's beautiful to watch. You're a wonderful person.

SPEAKER_00 30:35

Thank you. Yes. Here, let me know.

SPEAKER_02 30:37

Okay, so you can read it to me, honey.

SPEAKER_00 30:39

What do you most look forward to about getting old?

SPEAKER_02 30:42

Yeah, I know retirement. I love my clients, and I'm very grateful to have a career um that I've blossomed in, and I feel like I can really help a lot of people. But let me tell you, I'm tired. I'm getting tired, and um I really look forward to one day just having all my time. That's my time would feel so, so, so, so good. And, you know, just no expectations and no late night texts on questions that could be asked the next day. And uh, you know, and completely contrary to this entire episode, I look forward to us being retired so we can spend more time together. But really, like in the way that our life is now, um, I have a very busy, thriving career. And Tim also has um his career and hobbies that are very important to him. And I have hobbies important to me that I feel like I don't even have time to um die. Like, I love making puzzles, and maybe twice a month I can create, I need to be better on creating this, but create time to actually work on a puzzle. So just um the huge piece of the career, maybe you know, even part partial retirement. But um work optional. Work optional, thank you. That comes from Kate Northrop, uh teacher that we really both enjoy. Um, yeah, just um freedom, baby, freedom. I want the freedom, more time to travel.

SPEAKER_00 32:15

Yeah, that's a great answer. I uh I know how much she talks about retirement.

unknown 32:21

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 32:22

And uh I think this is uh a good, a good uh a good answer for your this question for you. Yeah, yeah. Very on brand, as they say.

SPEAKER_02 32:30

Yeah. I mean, for those of you that don't know, yes, I am 50 years old. Tim is 40 years old, so I'm 10 years more tired and ready.

SPEAKER_00 32:42

So yeah, the uh like the finish line is closer for her of the work.

SPEAKER_02 32:47

I pray. I pray.

SPEAKER_00 32:50

Yeah, yeah. Yeah, I think that that that about wraps up our uh our happily ever after. Yeah, I think it brings us to the end of the episode.

SPEAKER_02 32:56

Yeah, it sure does, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 32:58

And so uh thank you everybody for going on this journey again, episode number 16 in the books. Uh you can listen to all of our podcasts wherever you find podcasts, uh YouTube, Spotify, Apple, the just Google us, Chat GBTS, however you find us, just find us.

SPEAKER_02 33:17

Yeah, sounds good. Uh, you can follow us on Instagram or Facebook under Our Life is a Honeymoon official. Feel free to drop us a DM. And it's me because I run those accounts.

SPEAKER_00 33:29

Yep. And if anything else resonated with you, we'd love to hear from you. You can email us at our life is a honeymoon at gmail.com.

SPEAKER_02 33:37

No, that's not what it is. It doesn't matter. You would email us anyway. Nobody emails us, but if if somebody could email us, we would really be happy and we'll tell people about it on the air. But to actually reach us, you have to email it at it. We're done. Email us at our life is a honeymoonofficial at gmail.com.

SPEAKER_00 34:02

Because if you email the other one, it's not us.

SPEAKER_02 34:05

Yeah, people took our name before we had our name. Can you imagine?

SPEAKER_00 34:10

They're parking it, as they say, and they're not doing anything with it.

unknown 34:13

God damn it.

SPEAKER_00 34:14

Um, so in commenting on this video or you're watching us, like it, subscribe to it. Uh, give us feedback if there's something you don't like. If you think we look funny, just write that. Anything that you want to write, just write something.

SPEAKER_02 34:28

Yeah, we would like to have a relationship with you.

SPEAKER_00 34:32

And uh, if you'd like to support the podcast, you can buy us a Mickey Pretzel, a virtual Mickey Pretzel at buymeacoffee.com slash our life is a honeymoon. That's right. And subscribe to us on YouTube, like our videos, review us on Apple Podcasts, on Spotify.

SPEAKER_02 34:50

We'll take anything you got. Give us a love.

SPEAKER_00 34:52

We have, I think, our we've read some reviews on here, and uh, we've got some good feedback already from some of the reviews we've written. So that's that have been written. Yeah, have been written.

SPEAKER_02 35:04

We are tired.

SPEAKER_00 35:06

You get the one.

SPEAKER_02 35:07

Anyways, we're just gonna thank you for being here. We appreciate you guys, and we'll see you in two weeks.

SPEAKER_01 35:12

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 35:13

Yeah. All right, goodbye.