Kuli English Podcast

007 New Year’s Resolutions & the Sedentary Squatters

• Chris • Season 1 • Episode 7

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It’s the middle of the year, so let’s talk New Year’s resolutions! In this episode, we'll talk about purposely failing a fitness challenge at Google, broken water heaters, and the Japanese sento!

Content:

00:00 Intro
00:34 New Year’s Resolution
07:09 Google Walktober
09:50 Sedentary Squatters
16:23 My Water Broke
23:58 Hurt My Thumb

Hello everyone and welcome back to Kuli English Podcast. It's me, your host, Chris. So today is May 25th. 

So we are smack dab in the middle of the year. It's not January. It's not December. 

It's right in the middle. So let's talk about something that probably nobody has on their mind. So probably nobody is thinking about this, but New Year's resolutions.

And what is a New Year's resolution? Well, first of all, we all know what New Year's is, right? So New Year's is January 1st. It's the start of the new year. And in the US, New Year's is kind of like a big holiday, but people usually celebrate not on January 1st, but the day before, December 31st, which is called New Year's Eve. 

And the Eve just means one day before. So that's the New Year's part. And then there's the resolution part. 

And what is a resolution? A resolution is something like a promise or like a decision. It has sort of like a strong image. So it's kind of like a big promise.

Let me give you a couple examples of New Year's resolutions. So for example, this year, I'm going to quit smoking. Or this year, I'm going to learn English. 

Or this year, I'm going to learn Japanese. But there's actually one type of New Year's resolution that is by far the most common one. And it's for exercise.

So basically, anything to do with going to the gym or losing weight, that one is by far the most common New Year's resolution. So for example, my New Year's resolution is this year, I'm going to go to the gym once a week, every week for the whole year. Yeah.

And let me tell you something kind of interesting. So the gyms, they all know this. And what do the gyms want? They want you to pay them money. 

So what they'll do is they'll put out advertisements in December or so, or maybe January. And those advertisements will say something like, do you want to lose weight? Do you want to be sexy? Sign up for a year subscription today and save 20% off and get sexy or something like that. And so we all know what the New Year's resolution is now that we've talked about it.

And there's something that I'm sort of curious about. So New Year's was like half a year ago. So it was like six months ago. 

And I'm really curious. Did you make a New Year's resolution? So did you make a promise to yourself on January 1st about what you're going to do that year? And if you've been doing it up until now, because now it's been six months, then that's amazing. You did a great job. 

You're amazing. You're a rock star. And if that's you, feel free to leave a comment.

And so that me and anyone else who reads it can know what you did and how amazing you are. And that's not a joke. I actually would like to read that.

But if you made a New Year's resolution and then it didn't work out, meaning so like now you already quit, then don't worry about it. It's totally fine. So according to some research online, over 90% of people fail their New Year's resolution.

So that means less than 10% of people actually keep up their New Year's resolution for a whole year. But to be honest, I don't really like using the word failed here. Like failed sounds kind of negative, but a lot of the times it's not because you failed.

Like sometimes something changes. So like maybe your goals changed or maybe there was something else outside of your control. So something that you couldn't control that happened.

For example, maybe you made a New Year's resolution like this. This year I'm going to go to the gym every week. Yeah, I'm going to get big strong arms.

Yeah. And then I'm going to look good. Yeah.

But then, you know, this is actually really hard to do, even if you put in all the right amount of effort. So for example, what if one day you're working out and then you like you get injured, you know, like a small injury like, oh, like my shoulder hurts. So let me go ahead and stop.

And then, you know, what you should do is you should take it easy. And then you can't go to the gym for like a week, right?

So you got to rest up. You got to make sure that you're all healed before you go back. And then that means you failed, right? Because you said you were going to go every week. But then one week you were just kind of resting. 

And that's not really your fault. And, you know, it's not like you went to the gym and you tried to get hurt. Like it was an accident, probably. 

Or, you know, what if you go to the gym and then you like you made some friends who play tennis. And then now instead of going to the gym, you want to go play tennis instead. And that's still exercise. 

Right. But it's not what you promised on January 1st. Like what you said for New Year's is "I'm going to go to the gym every week.""

But then, you know, if you go play tennis with friends, then like technically you failed. So I guess technically these things, they count as failing the New Year's resolution. So like according to the rules, you failed. 

But I don't think it's a failure. Like for me, I don't I think that's fine. Like in one of them, you didn't fail.

Like if you got hurt, then I think that one, it's not a fail., it's a pause. So you paused your New Year's resolution. 

And then, you know, as long as like after you recovered, you start going back to the gym. I think it's fine. And then and then for the tennis thing, like, you know, if you started playing tennis, I think it's fine.

Like it's still exercise. And, you know, your overall goal was to get exercise. And that's why you said, I'm going to go to the gym every week and get buff.

But, you know, if you're just playing tennis, I think it's totally fine. So in that case, I would I wouldn't call that a failure. I would I would say that in that case, the goal changed.

So anyways, if you made a New Year's resolution and you've been doing it for six months, like that's amazing. And I would love to hear about it. And if you made a New Year's resolution and then something changed or, you know, maybe it got paused, maybe it got canceled.

Maybe your goals changed or anything else. Well, you know, it sounds like you're a very normal human being. And I would also love to hear about that. 

So feel free to leave a comment. But if you do, make sure you do it in English, because this is a English podcast. So let's take a short little music break here. 

And then when we get back, I'll tell you about my own New Year's resolution. 

OK, so just to summarize, a New Year's resolution is kind of like a big promise that you make to yourself for the whole year. And so what about me? What's my New Year's resolution? Well, to be honest, I think in my whole life, I have never actually made a New Year's resolution.

And I guess it's just like I don't really believe in making a promise based on the time of the year. Like, you know, why does it have to start on January 1st and end on December 31st? Like, if I really, really wanted to start something, like start a habit, then I would probably just start immediately, like right now. And then why is it that like on December 31st, you have to like look back and be like, oh, I did a good job.

And then you quit. I mean, you wanted to do it for a reason. Right.

So you should probably just keep doing it forever is what I would think. So, you know, I'm sorry that I don't have a New Year's resolution, but I do have something sort of similar. So now let's get into story time. 

So let me tell you about a story from my old job at Google. So I should probably tell you upfront. I should tell you from the very beginning that this thing was not like a New Year's resolution where like I set a goal and I tried to do something. Like I'm kind of a weird person.

So I like doing weird things. And this was more like a troll resolution, like a joke resolution. So for this resolution, I tried really, really hard not to make any effort.

Now, let me let me explain a bit more. So anyways, at Google, they had something called Walktober. And by the way, this isn't a real English word. 

It's just like a name. It comes from two words that are combined together. So walk plus October.

And then the whole challenge is basically trying to walk as much as possible in the month of October. And then you can track how much you walk on your phone, like on iPhone, you have like this health app and on Android, you have something else. And then but basically there's like an app that counts how many steps you take each day.

And it doesn't do a perfect job of counting your steps, but it's like it's not too bad. So anyways, Walktober is sort of like a friendly competition where you register teams of people. So there's like, you know, different teams of people and the teams can be any number of people.

So you can have like one person or you can have 10 people and it's totally fine. And the team that has the most average steps wins. So if you have like 10 people and all of them walk a lot, then you have a really high score.

If you have 10 people and only one of them walks a lot and then nine people don't do anything, then that team gets a really low score. So you want the highest average number of steps. And if you win, I think you get something. 

I don't actually remember what the prize was. And I don't really remember because what I wanted was not to win. What I wanted was to lose and get last place.

So, yeah, I wanted to be at the very, very bottom. I wanted to be the biggest loser. So I made a new team and I registered it on the website.

And of course I need teammates. And so this is how I would find teammates. Like every now and then I would ask people at work, I would ask, hey, are you doing Walktober? And then if they say, yeah, then I say, oh, okay, cool.

And then I don't tell them about my team. But then sometimes I would ask a coworker, hey, are you doing Walktober? And then they would say, like, no, I don't really care about that. And then I'm like, oh, that's the perfect kind of teammate that I'm looking for.

And then I'll invite them to join the team. And I'll be like, hey, I'm building a team and I want you on it. And then they'll be like, what? No, like I just told you, I'm not doing it.

I don't want to try. And then I would say, exactly, that's what my team is all about. And then I show them my team website.

First off, my team name, it was called the Sedentary Squatters. So the first word sedentary, it means like sitting, like sitting in a chair. And squatters comes from like the word squatting, which means sitting, like sitting on the floor.

So basically the team name meant something like people who sit. And then there's like a team motto too. There's like a big saying that describes the theme of the team.

And it was something like, on this team, we believe that sitting is good. Something like that. And then so then people will be like, oh, okay, so you have like a joke team.

Like your team's not like serious about walking. It's like the opposite. And I'm going to say, no, it's not a joke.

I want us to naturally achieve last place. Like I don't want us to try to get last place. I want us to naturally get last place.

But I only like pick the people that don't do anything. And so they'll be like, okay, whatever. And then they join.

And then it's fine. Because, you know, they don't care, but I care. And I have like this team of like losers, which is exactly what I want.

So then, you know, I added a bunch of people to the team that weren't going to do Walktober. Or like these people basically had no plans to change their lifestyle for the purpose of Walktober. And that's exactly what I wanted.

And there's a saying that goes, what is it? The most important thing about a journey is not the destination, but the friends we made along the way. And what that means is like in a journey, like an adventure, the most important thing is not the destination, not the result, not what you get at the end. The most important part is the friends we made along the way.

And that was definitely true for this like whole thing that I did. Like getting last place in the competition, that didn't really matter that much to me. I just wanted to get like really low, you know.

And then recruiting people to join the team, that was the best part. Because people would always be like, wait, no, I don't want to join your team. And I'm like, yes, that's exactly why I want you to join the team.

We have a team of people that don't want to participate in the competition. And then so, you know, like I don't want you to do anything extra. And they're like, I don't want to do anything extra.

I'm like, yes, exactly. I want you to change nothing about your lifestyle. And then they're like, okay.

So, yeah, the friends we made along the way, it was pretty good. And actually this reminds me like sometimes people would be talking about Walktober at lunch or like in the snack area or whatever. And people always like to ask like, oh, how's your team score? Like are you guys walking a lot? And people would be like, oh, yeah, man, like, you know, I walked a lot the other day.

And we all got together and we did this thing. We walked a lot. And then like they show their score.

And then they're like, oh, yeah, look at you. You know, you're like in the top like 20%. Oh, wow, you're in the top 10% or something like that.

And then I love it when it's my turn. And I'm like, oh, hey, guys, like I'm the leader of a team. Okay, we're called the sedentary squatters.

And then they're like, what? And then I showed them the team. And our score is like really, really low. And like one guy, his daily number of steps was like 20, like 20 steps.

So 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10 and then up to 20. And then people would be like, wait a minute, how do you only have 20 steps in a whole day? Don't you need to walk like five steps to go to the bathroom? And then everyone thinks about it. And everyone's like, hmm, yeah, that doesn't seem right.

And then like someone would be like, hmm, I don't know. But what if you're working from home and, you know, like you cook at home and you have everything at home and you don't need to go out, maybe 20 steps is possible. Like you get out of bed and you go to the bathroom.

And then, you know, that's like five steps and then you don't do anything else. And these kinds of conversations were always really fun. And by the way, if you're curious, the real reason why that person only had 20 steps in one day was because they registered their work phone and they always left their work phone at the office, like at their desk.

So it's always in the same spot. And so the 20 steps, it just came from like unplugging the phone and like checking something, moving the phone a little bit and then plugging it back in. But the phone never left the desk.

So the phone actually probably didn't even walk 20 steps a day. I don't know how he got 20. But, yeah, definitely my favorite part was just showing people the score because then people would be like, oh, wow, you got, you know, in the top 10%.

Wow, your team's in the top 20%. That's cool. Chris, how's your team? And then like we are in the bottom, like bottom 5%, like bottom 10%.

There's not that many teams that like scored that low. And then, but actually near the end of the month, there's one teammate and our team probably had like, I don't know, seven or eight people. And then one teammate, he suddenly got a bunch of steps on the last weekend.

And then he got like 5,000 steps in one day. And by the way, our whole average was like, I think we averaged like, I don't know, 200 steps like in a week or something like that. But this guy suddenly got 5,000 steps in one day, right? And that was over the weekend.

And then on Monday, he sent everyone on the team an email. And he was like, hey, sorry, guys, I went on a hike this weekend and I accidentally took my phone with me. So let me say that again.

Like, hey, sorry, guys, I went on a hike this weekend and I accidentally took my phone with me. And so this "accidentally took my phone with me," I love this part, okay? What he means is what he wanted to do is he wanted to leave the phone at home.

You know, that way it doesn't count his steps. But then he made a mistake and he accidentally took his phone with him. And I love this because like normally if you go on a hike, you probably take your phone with you.

But, you know, it's just so nice of him to think, oh, like, I wish I didn't take my phone because it counted these steps. So then the final sentence becomes like, sorry, I accidentally took my phone with me, which is totally fine. You know, the important thing is not about the destination, but the friends we made along the way.

So, you know, we didn't get the last place, but we were pretty low. And, you know, that's already got all the fun that we wanted to. So, you know, this wasn't exactly a New Year's resolution, but I definitely did do something like I tried for Walktober.

And by trying, I meant I tried not to change anything. And that was only in the month of October. So it's like a time thing, you know, like in the start of October.

Okay, we start doing this. And at the end of October, yay, it's over. And then whatever.

But who knows, maybe I'll make a New Year's resolution next year. But let's go and take a short little break here.

Okay, so we talked about my team at Google for Walktober, which was a team full of slackers, or people who didn't work hard.

And we also talked about how I don't really like making New Year's resolutions. 

But do you remember how I said like the most common New Year's resolution is something exercise related? So people saying like, I'm going to go to the gym, or like, you know, I'm going to lose weight or something. And actually, there was something that made me start going to the gym every year.

Every single day. And it's not something that you can do. Like, it's something that has to like happen to you.

And it's, you know, I didn't go because I wanted to work out. I had to go because my water broke. And by the way, when I say my water broke, if you hear that on TV, what that means is, I am a pregnant woman.

And my baby's about to come out, like I'm going to give birth. And it's coming out like right now. So you need to get me to the hospital right now.

But when I say that, I mean something completely different. It just means like in my apartment, the hot water doesn't work. So it's only cold water that comes out.

It's a completely different meaning. So every day, I use hot water. And I use it in the morning.

I use it at night. You know, I love hot water. Everybody probably loves having hot water.

But one day I noticed like how come it's only cold water? So, you know, like I was like waiting to wash my face. I got the soap in my hands, and I'm ready to wash my face. But I don't want to do it when the water is like really cold, you know, because it feels nicer when it's warm.

So I'm like waiting for the water to heat up. And then I'm waiting like a minute. I'm waiting like two minutes.

And I'm like, wow, it's taking a really long time. And it was just cold forever. So then like I was like, oh, okay, maybe something's broken.

And then I looked into it. And then it turns out my water heater broke. So a water heater is like the thing, the appliance in your house that heats up water for you.

And if it's broken, well, then, you know, it can't heat up water. And so like when you try to get hot water, then instead you get cold water. So what did I do? You know, I'm American, right? And Americans are really good at complaining.

確かにアメリカ人だったらクリームを言うのが上手だね。 So like I called my landlord immediately. And I'm like, hey, you got to fix this. This is your job to fix it.

And they're like, okay, yeah, sure. And then, you know, they didn't fix it for a whole month. So I didn't have hot water for a month.

And then like, you know, but every day I want to use hot water, right? So, you know, what about showers about washing your face? What do you do? Well, they have hot water at the gym. So then I started going to the gym every single day. And it's not that I wanted to go to the gym, like, but I just had to go or else I can't shower.

And then at this point, you know, it really did feel a little bit like a New Year's resolution. Because, you know, like I would go to the gym no matter what. And then I think, oh, well, you know, since I already came here, せっかく, because I already came here, I might as well work out.

And then so in the beginning, like I did go and work out every single day for like a week. And then something changed. Okay, so I fell in love.

I fell in love with Sento. Now, if you've never heard of Sento, let me tell you more. Sento is warm, comfortable and very special to me.

And when I go to visit, there are always lots of other men who also love Sento. And with the Sento, you have to open up, meaning you have to undress. You have to get naked.

And by the way, Sento is a bathhouse. So kind of like an onsen, if you know what that is. It's kind of like a place with a lot of jacuzzis.

And you're just supposed to go there and get in the hot water and just chill. And so for me, as someone who grew up in the U.S., I never took baths with other people. Not even family.

Especially not with strangers. Probably if you ask an American, like, Hey, do you ever shower or take baths with other people? And they'll be like, What? No. So showering and taking baths, that's something that you usually do on your own.

And that's what I always did those on my own. But then in my gym, they have a small little Sento area. So in Japanese, it's the same, Sento.

But after you work out, you can go to the boys' locker room. And then there's a little Sento attached. And at first, I didn't really care about it.

But then I tried it. And I was like, Oh, this is actually really nice. So it's basically like a giant bathtub.

And it's hard to explain, but it's really, really calming. And what you're supposed to do is you go there, and you sit in the hot water, and you just sit there. And you don't do anything.

You don't have your phone. You don't really have anything to do. You just sit there and soak up the hot water.

And you probably don't know anyone else there because they're all strangers. And so you just sit there alone, and you don't really talk to anybody. And I think it's actually really, really nice.

So actually, probably what, like two years ago, I've never actually been to like a Sento or an Onsen, like seriously. And if you want to try it for the first time, if you want to like try it out and try to feel it, then I have actually two tips for you. So number one, tip number one, you should do some practice before you go.

So the Sento is actually kind of hot. It's like 42 degrees Celsius, which is around like 108 degrees Fahrenheit. So what you should do is at home, if you can practice, you want to have like a fake Sento experience with your bathtub.

So, you know, just like fill it up with hot water. And if you can, like measure it to make sure it's around like 42 degrees. Or you can go a little bit less.

I think people who don't really take like baths in the bathtub, like those kinds of people probably can start out with like, I don't know, 38 degrees Celsius or like 40 degrees. You don't have to go to the full 42 degrees. But, you know, practice is kind of good because like you don't want to go there and then it's like really hot.

Right. And then also this is just my personal recommendation. But like if you go to the Sento, like in Japan, then I think it's actually best if you try to clear your mind.

Okay. So like the water is really hot. And so like your body is going to be in kind of a different condition.

Like normally you're used to, you know, it being not super hot or not super cold. And that's when you normally like think and that's how you normally move and stuff. But then when it's really hot, like something changes.

And if you're thinking about a lot of stuff, like you're worried about something or maybe you're excited about something, like it can be good or bad. What I recommend you do is actually just set all of that aside. Okay.

So all of your stress, all of your sadness, all of your happiness, all of your excitement, just put it all aside and don't think about anything and just focus on your breathing and like feeling the heat of the water on your skin. And, you know, you want to go to the sento to relax. So while your body is in the water, like try to let your mind relax too.

So, you know, when you step out of the water, you can start thinking about whatever like happy, sad stuff, exciting stuff, whatever you want. But while you're in the water, like just I recommend you try to like clear your mind. So in case you can't tell, I'm actually a huge fan of the sento.

And it wasn't the case like two years ago because like, you know, I didn't, I never even knew what it was. But I guess what I'm trying to say is I love bathing with naked old men. And, you know, it's, this is true, not because I like naked old men, but just because like I like the sento and the sento has a lot of other people there and a lot of them are old men and we all have to get naked to go in the sento.

So it's just like a nice little simple summary. I love bathing with naked old men. So let's go and take a short little break here.

Okay, so now I'm going to tell you something about me that might be kind of boring. But, you know, I love the sento, right? And that's like one of the main reasons why I go to the gym. But actually the gym, it's not really that good.

Like number one, it's really expensive. And then also the staff, like the people that work there, like sometimes they're kind of rude to me because like I'm not a pretty girl and they like pretty girls. And so the gym also like sometimes it closes early and then sometimes it's just closed the whole day.

And like this is really inconvenient because like sometimes they don't say anything and they just close. And well, they do say that they're closed on the 15th of every month and that's like the day that they're definitely closed there. But then like there's always some other random day where I go and it's not a holiday and then they're just closed or like they close extra early.

And then, you know, they like to clean up like 30 minutes before it closes. So like whatever you're doing in the bathroom, they're like opening the lockers and stuff. Like, okay, it's going to close in 30 minutes, just letting you know.

But the only reason why I go there is because they have a sento. So like, you know, I love bathing with naked old men. And so that's why I'll keep going to that same gym.

But recently, let me tell you about some boring stuff. But recently when I was working out at that gym, like I hurt my thumb. Well, it's a podcast so like I wish I could show you but it's like kind of black.

And so I was changing some weights. And then like it's my fault but I accidentally like crushed my thumb when I was changing some weights. So my thumb was okay but like my nail, my thumb, the nail on my thumb, like it flipped backwards.

So it looks kind of like a yogurt container lid. Like when you open yogurt, you open it and then like you open it halfway. Well, the lid was like my nail and it's open.

And then inside like you have yogurt, right? But for me, it's just my blood. And it hurt and I was like, ah. And then like I went to the bathroom and then I washed out a bunch of blood.

And then I flipped the nail back. So it's like the yogurt lid. Like I put it back down.

And then it was kind of okay. Like it's a good thing that it went back down. But for a minute or so, like it was just kind of open.

And, you know, I'm sharing yogurt with the world. But, you know, that was really sad. And it was really sad like partially because it hurt.

Like it did hurt. But more importantly, I was more sad because I like can't go to the sento. Like I can't go and go into that like hot water bath area.

Because if you have like an injury, like if you have like an open wound, then you're not supposed to go to the sento. So like I didn't go to the sento for a week. And, you know, that was kind of sad for me.

But what does that mean for you? That means you got to go to the sento. So you should go and take a hot bath with naked old men. Or if you're a girl, then you'll take a hot bath with naked old ladies.

And, you know, if you don't want to go to the sento, it's fine. But you can go to the gym to honor my poor thumb. You should go to the gym and work out if that's something that you want to do.

Okay. So this is probably a good point to go ahead and wrap things up. There are actually a couple of things that I didn't get to talk about because, you know, I didn't want the episode to be too long.

But, you know, once there's this one guy who like came to hit on me while I was in the sauna and like, you know, he started touching me and stuff. But this is something we can talk about in another episode. So remember today, we talked about New Year's resolutions and also about how sometimes in a journey, what's more important is not the destination, but the friends we made along the way.

And also sometimes your landlord is a lazy person who doesn't fix anything for a month. But on the side, you might discover something that you really like. For example, for me, I discovered that I love bathing with naked old men.

So as always, thank you so much for listening to Kuli English Podcast. And if you want to leave a comment about anything, like maybe your New Year's resolution story, then please do. And I'll be really happy when I respond to that.

And as always, thank you. And I'll see you in the next episode.