019 Awkward

What does awkward mean? In this story, we'll be covering four of my real life stories about feeling awkward!

Contents:
00:00 Start
04:28 Ticket gate story
08:02 Sushi story
17:33 Date story
29:10 21 guns story

Transcript

Hi everyone, and welcome back to Kuli English Podcast. So this episode is going to be uploaded on August 19th. So it's a Tuesday.

Remember all new episodes are always uploaded on Tuesday every week. So for this episode, and this is episode 19, I want to talk about awkwardness. So awkwardness, what is awkwardness? Awkwardness is like to feel awkward.

Awkward, meaning something kind of weird happens and it makes you feel a little bit uneasy. It's kind of a very general, vague word, it has multiple different meanings. In Japanese, it's probably something close to like kimazui, but you can use awkwardness for a lot of different situations.

Like you can even use it for physical things like, oh, this is an awkward fit. So for example, let's say you have like a pencil sharpener, and you're trying to sharpen a pencil, but then the pencil is like too big or something, oh, this is like an awkward fit. You can use it for things like that.

Whereas you can't really do that in Japanese for kimazui. So anyways, we won't talk too much about Japanese. This is an English podcast.

And so what I want to do is I want to kind of like, play a game in this podcast. So this whole podcast episode is just going to be me telling true stories about myself, and it's going to have increasing levels of awkwardness. And you know, these are like true stories.

So maybe it's a little bit more interesting for you to hear. If I were to make up these stories, it's going to be different. Like it'll be easier for me to tell it, because you know, I can make up lies and stuff.

But I don't know, something about true stories makes it feel a little bit more human. So I want to play a game. And you know, like the image of playing a game together is kind of like if we're playing Fortnite together, like, you know, maybe we're in Discord together, and then we play Fortnite, or maybe if we play some video game on the Nintendo Switch, like we sit on the couch, we watch TV, you hold the controller, I hold the controller, and then we like fight each other or something like that.

But you know, this is a podcast, and a lot of the people that are listening to this probably have no idea who I am, and I have no idea who they are. And that's okay. But in this game, what I'm going to do is I'm going to be telling the stories.

And then, like, I want you to think in your mind, like, how awkward is this? So on a scale of one to 10, meaning one is like, super not awkward, like, that's a really, really small thing. It doesn't matter. That doesn't make you feel uncomfortable.

That doesn't make you feel uneasy. That's nothing. Or, on a scale of one to 10, so 10 meaning like, oh, that's very, very awkward.

That's probably like a very, very, very uncomfortable situation. And you know, just go ahead and guess those. And I'll also give you my answer.

So like, I don't think that there's like a real answer, but it's just how I feel how awkward it is for me. And you know, you also have to guess based on like my personality. So you know, some things I think are awkward, some things I don't think are awkward.

And that differs depending on like who you are. So maybe you would find something really awkward and I wouldn't. Or maybe the reverse.

Like, maybe you would think this is fine, but I would find it awkward. So anyways, don't worry too much about if you don't know what awkwardness means. It's like hard to describe with words, but it's easy to describe with stories.

Because everybody, regardless of what language you grew up with, you know the feeling of awkwardness. Or like, I've never met another human being that doesn't understand what awkwardness means. So with that, let's go and take a short little break and then we're going to get started with some nice awkward stories.

All right, so let's go ahead and get started. I feel like I'm so excited to tell you these stories, even though these stories are all just like awkward, embarrassing stories about myself. But again, we're going to be playing a game.

So in this game, I'm going to be telling the story. And then after each story, we're going to take a short little pause. And I want you to take a guess of how awkward it is.

And it's, I mean, hopefully it's kind of fun for you to just kind of imagine yourself in this situation. How awkward would it be for you? And then you can guess like, oh, how awkward was it for me? So let's go and get started. And let me give you a short little example.

This one's like the practice round. Hold on. Let me turn off the AC.

It's getting kind of cold. Okay, so I'm going to give you like a short little practice round. So this one should be easy.

But like, so this one, again, these are all true stories, but you know, I live in Japan now and I used to live in the U.S. But in Japan, like when you take the train, you have to like scan in at the ticket gate, like at the Kaisatsuguchi, the ticket gate. And then I use like something called an IC card, which is like a prepaid transit card. And then like I scan in and then when you get, you get on, you scan in and you get on the train and then you go to wherever you want.

And then when you leave, you scan again at the exit gate. And then when you leave, then it automatically calculates like how much money like you need to pay. So maybe I had like, I don't know, 2000 yen on the card and then I go in and then when I go out, it automatically deducts like whatever, 140 yen or however much it costs for the trip.

And it's like pretty nice. But if you go really, really far, like you get on the train and you ride the train for like, I don't know, an hour and a half. And then you like switch trains, you go to a different train, ride that one for a long time.

Then it costs more than like a little bit. It ends up costing a bit more. So then when you leave, if you don't have enough money, then you get what I call the loser rejection.

And the loser rejection is like you try to scan and you try to leave and then like the gate closes. I normally the gates open and then when you scan, it's like beep and then it gives you like a green check mark and it tells you how much money you have left. But then if you get the loser rejection, then you go beep and then like the gate closes.

Okay. Like it turns out there's these little things in there and that it blocks your path and it doesn't want you to leave. And it's like, Oh, you don't have enough money.

And then like they have a little screen and it says it in Japanese, it says it in English, it's like insufficient funds, like you need more money. And there's like a little picture of like a person that's like bowing. That's like, we're sorry, but you can't leave.

And so I call this the loser rejection because when you get that, you feel like a loser and you got rejected from leaving. So this, this is like the awkward part. Okay.

So like you try to leave and you, you can't leave. And then it goes, pin pon pin pon pin pon. And you're like, Oh no.

And then maybe there's people behind you. If it's like a crowded station, like Shinjuku station or Tokyo station, there's definitely lots of people and they're like ready to scan behind you. Right.

Cause normally it will take like one or two seconds to scan. But then when you get rejected, like you can't go forward and all the people behind you, they also get stuck. So then they're like kind of looking at you like, Oh, like, okay.

And then they probably end up going to like a different ticket gate, like a, like the neighboring one. Cause they're like, Oh, this, this person has got the loser rejection. So they're going to take some time and then you have to go like charge money or you have to go like talk to someone to go, uh, like adjust the fare or something like that.

I mean, it's not, it's actually not that bad. Okay. So this one's like the practice round.

So I'm just going to tell you the answer straight up. It's not really the answer, but that's how I see it. And I put this at like one out of 10.

So how awkward is it on a scale of one to 10, one being not awkward and 10 being like very, very awkward. I put that at one out of 10, like it's, it's really no big deal. You feel a little bit bad for the people who lined up behind you.

And then in some cases, if everyone's going really, really fast, then like, as you go, when you get the loser rejection, like the person behind you, you know, they didn't see you get rejected and then they're ready to scan too, but then they bump into you. And then like, and then they like, you know, bump into your butt and it's like, Oh, sorry. Oh, sorry.

That one would be more awkward, but I've never felt that before. But that's, that's, that's a story that I have never experienced. So, but I have been, I've gotten like the loser rejection and then I go like charge money and then I leave and it's fine.

So again, that one was one out of 10. And now let's get into like the first real story. And I've got like four or five like real stories for you.

So this one is what I call the sushi story. But and let me go ahead and give a bunch of background here. And this might be some useful information for people who are visiting Japan as well.

But so I was eating a sushi zanmai. So sushi zanmai is the name of a restaurant. It's like a chain restaurant and it's like a sit down sushi restaurant.

So sit down, meaning like you go to the table and you sit down and then when you order, then people deliver stuff to you. It's different from like the kaiten sushi, like the revolving sushi. So kaiten sushi, for example, there is this place called Sushi Ro or there's this place called Kura Sushi.

It's weird saying it in English. And then there's another one called Hama Sushi. And then so those places have a revolving sushi.

So there's like a conveyor belt, kind of like an escalator, but it's flat and it just keeps rotating around. And then you'll see like sushi and you can take it. And then if you take it, then, you know, you keep the plate and then at the end you pay based on how much you ate.

But the conveyor belt sushi, like usually you sit down at the table and you don't really like order from a person. There's usually a tablet or you can just take from the belt and then it's a pretty straightforward way to like eat your sushi. But if you go to the sit down restaurant, then usually for sushi, you have two options.

One is you can sit at the table and there's usually like a tablet or maybe like a sheet of paper where you order. And then, and that's fine. That's like the normal experience that you might expect.

The tablet usually has like multiple languages, so not just Japanese, but also English. But then if you sit like, there's another place you can sit at and that's like at the counter. So like the counter is like right in front of all the sushi chefs and the sushi chefs are like making the sushi and then they bring it out and it's kind of fun, but it requires you to speak Japanese.

So I'm not sure if you're going to be able to predict where the story is going to go. But I, like two years ago, I ended up sitting at the sushi bar. Like I wanted to sit at the counter.

It's like, I went to the sushi's on my place and I've been there multiple times and they're like, Oh, do you want to sit at like the table or do you want to sit at the, at the counter? And then I was like, Oh dude, I've been studying Japanese sometime and I'm like, yeah, I'm like hyping myself up. I'm like encouraging myself and I'm like, okay, I'll sit at the counter. And then I sat at the counter and there's no tablet.

Okay. There's no paper. You'd have to order directly by talking to the sushi chef.

And this is kind of cool if it goes well, but let's continue the story. So my order in Japanese, I really like salmon. Okay.

I, I'm like an expert on salmon because I've eaten a lot of salmon. I've done a bunch of cooking stuff with salmon during COVID because I was bored, but I really like salmon. So I was like, okay, let's start out with 10 pieces of salmon.

So number one, like this is probably a little bit, a little bit weird. Like most people don't order 10 of the same thing immediately when they sit down. But I, I do because I like salmon.

So I was like, uh, sake juumai kudasai. And then so sake, sake is like a salmon and then juu is like the word for 10. So like sake juumai kudasai.

And then in this moment, I'm like kind of hoping, I'm like, oh, I hope they understood what I meant. And then, uh, then the employee, like the guy was making the thing, like he instantly understood. He was like, okay.

And he repeated exactly what I said. He was like sake juumai kudasai. And then I was like, oh yes, this worked.

I was like really happy. Right. And I was like celebrating, uh, inside, you know, I wasn't like doing anything else inside my mind.

I was like, yay, because I successfully ordered in Japanese. And then, and then, uh, and then I was so happy. Like when I was celebrating, like the employee, like they brought me sake, like a not, not like salmon, which is what I ordered, but like sake, like Japanese alcohol.

And then I was thinking like, oh, okay. So maybe if you sit at like the bar counter, uh, you get like free alcohol or maybe because I ordered successfully in Japanese, they're like helping me celebrate. And I got this little sake thing and I was like, okay, sure.

And then, um, I like, uh, I guess, okay, so, you know, I got it. So I started drinking a little bit and I don't normally drink that much, but like, you know, this is the celebration. So I'm drinking and then, uh, you know, I waited for like, you know, five, 10 minutes and then, uh, no salmon ever came.

And then I was thinking, where's my salmon? Like I ordered salmon, right. And then, uh, I looked at the menu and I looked at the sake and the sake, there's actually quite a bit of sake. And then I realized that actually there is a sake, there's a sake called sake junmai.

And, uh, what I ordered was like, I wanted 10 pieces of salmon, but instead I accidentally like mispronounced it and I used like some wrong words and ended up ordering like this alcohol that has the exact same name of what I said wrong. So then like, uh, then this is an awkward situation, right? So the situation is I wanted salmon and I tried to order salmon and then they understood it as, oh, you want the sake. So they gave me sake.

And then I felt so awkward because I was thinking, oh, they were giving me the sake for free because they like me because it's like my fifth time or sixth time here. So maybe they were like, oh, this is a regular customer. Let's give it to them.

And I was thinking that, but actually no, like they just gave me what they thought I ordered. And then afterwards, then like, what's even more awkward is like, I still want my salmon, right? Like I didn't eat dinner and here I am just drinking this alcohol that I didn't even really want. And then I was thinking, okay, so now if I order the salmon, like if I order 10 pieces of salmon again, then, then they're going to know that I made a mistake with this ordering thing.

And I don't want them to know that I made a mistake. So then what I did was instead of ordering 10 pieces of salmon, I ordered eight pieces of salmon. And I looked it up like on my phone too.

I was like, oh, okay. So like you, like jyuumai, like, uh, like the, in Japanese, the counter word for like flat things, like sheets of paper. You can use like, Ichimai, Nimai, Sanmai, but you can't use that for salmon.

Like I thought salmon was flat cause like it is kind of flat and you lay it on rice and you have like a salmon nigiri, but that's not how you count salmon. Uh, so, so like I, I said like jyuumai and that's like incorrect. And also like salmon, like raw salmon is different from cooked salmon in Japanese.

In English you just have like, you know, raw salmon or cooked salmon. Like you usually say like raw or cooked and it's specified in Japanese, they're different words. So one is like Sake, which is like the cooked salmon.

And then like for raw salmon, it's just called Salmon. So I didn't know that. And so I looked it up and I was like, oh, okay.

So that's like really embarrassing. So then what I did was I ordered eight pieces of salmon. Why did I order eight? I really wanted 10, but if I ordered 10, then they might piece it together.

They might know that I messed it up. So then I just ordered eight pieces of salmon. And then, uh, and then that one worked too.

I was like, salmon, hakko onegaishimasu. And then they're like, okay, yeah, sure. And then they're thinking, yeah, this guy likes Sake and this guy likes salmon.

Like that's very normal. And I never got caught, but it was really awkward for me. Like I felt pretty awkward about it.

So that is like the main story. So again, to summarize the story, I want you to rate it. I want you to rate it on a scale of one to 10, how embarrassing it seems.

But this story, uh, again, the summary is I went to Sushi Zanmai and I tried to order 10 pieces of salmon and I messed up. And then I ended up getting Sake and then it just felt so awkward that like, you know, like I got it wrong and I didn't want them to think that I got it wrong. I don't know why I felt embarrassed, but I just felt embarrassed.

And then I was like drinking the Sake. Like, yeah, I ordered this, but the truth is I didn't really want it. I was just drinking it because I didn't want to admit my mistake.

Uh, and then afterwards, then I ordered eight pieces of salmon. I got my salmon and I never told them that I didn't want to order the Sake. And like, you know, I left that restaurant.

I never, ever told them that I didn't want the Sake. I was like, yeah, I wanted the Sake and I paid like whatever it was like, like a thousand yen or something like that for, for the Sake. So on a scale of one to 10, how embarrassing would you feel if this happened to you? And some people might be thinking like, oh, I wouldn't let it get to that point.

Like the most reasonable thing to do is when you get the thing that you didn't order, you say, oh, excuse me, I didn't order this. And you know, that's like a very reasonable response, but like, I didn't feel comfortable enough in Japanese to say that. Like, uh, like it takes me a long time to think about it.

And I mean, this was a long time ago. So I was like, oh, you know, like they gave me this Sake thing and I was like, oh, cool. Is this free? I didn't even ask if it's free.

I was thinking if it's free, cause I didn't have the capability to like speak my thoughts in Japanese at the time. So, uh, that's the situation. And now, um, you know, go ahead and give it a little rating.

I'll give you like three seconds of silence and you can think about it. How awkward is it on a scale of one to 10?

All right. So for me, I'm going to give it like a two or maybe a three.

It's probably a two. So it's not that embarrassing. Like, uh, it's, it's kind of funny, but I mean, you know, for me, I like, I guess I just forgave myself.

I was like, oh, this is awkward. And now, now I know that, you know, like I, this is how you order salmon. You can't use these words and stuff like that.

But I mean, also like I'm at a restaurant and like, it's not like I embarrassed myself in front of like other people that I knew and uh, maybe that would be worse, but they're all like employees, uh, they don't really care. And also I never got caught. They never knew that I accidentally ordered the sake.

So I'm going to give it a two, two out of 10, like two out of 10 awkwardness. So, uh, I'll be back with some more stories, but let's take a short little music break here.

All right.

So let's continue. And this is a story. Number three, this is the date story.

So, uh, again, story number one was the rejected at the ticket gate. And that one was like a one out of 10. And then we've got the sushi story where I accidentally ordered like sake, like Japanese alcohol instead of sushi, which is what I wanted and gave that one like a two or three out of 10.

And now this is story number three, the date story. And you know, everybody likes talking about dating. Everyone likes talking about types, romance, uh, you know, stuff like that.

So this story is going to be kind of like that. I'm going to be telling about like basically the first date I ever went on. And, uh, I, there's a lot of like cliffhangers.

I'm going to tell you the whole story here without a break, but I feel like the way I'm talking about it, it sounds like, like TV where someone's like, Oh, find out in the next episode, like if they ended up getting married or something like that, but, um, I'm just going to try to tell the story the best I can. So, um, I was a freshman in college and, uh, that's like as a freshman, meaning it's my first year in college. Remember it's freshmen, sophomore, junior, senior, uh, in that order.

And then, uh, I met this girl. Uh, it sounds kind of awkward now that I started talking about it. Uh, but, uh, I met this girl.

Uh, I forgot how we met. I think it was just like maybe near a cafeteria or something. But, um, I remember talking to her for a pretty short amount of time, maybe like five or 10 minutes or so.

Um, and like, we had a lot in common. So I went to like a boarding school in high school. So in high school, it's usually four years.

So again, you know, freshmen, sophomore, junior, senior, it's the same like names as like college. But, uh, for my junior and senior year, so my last two years of high school, I went to a boarding school. So boarding school, meaning like you live there, you live there.

You don't live at home. You live at the boarding school and it's like really close to school. You like walk to school and you walk back to the dorms.

It's kind of like mini college. Um, and that, that, that school was also very focused on science and math. It was a very serious school.

It was actually so serious that like you can't use your cell phones and you can't use Facebook. And like people called it jail. And it's like kind of a little bit true.

I mean, they even had like metal bars and cages outside the window so that you can't, and you can't leave the campus and have like a fence and stuff. Uh, actually let's not talk about that. We're talking about like some other stuff.

So I went to like this boarding school and I had this experience and also this girl had the same experience. She also went to like a boarding school. That was very focused on math and science, but her school, like wasn't in the same place as mine.

Like I grew up in the US she grew up in Italy, I think. Uh, and then, uh, also her parents were like Chinese. So then she speaks Chinese and also I can speak Chinese.

So this is like, Oh wow. We have a lot in common. And it was pretty nice.

Uh, I was like, Oh, really excited to make a new friend. But we talked for a really short amount of time. And then it was like, okay, bye bye.

I think we exchanged Facebook because, you know, back in the US I'd probably use Facebook more. Now in Japan, I feel like people use Instagram more, uh, or, or Line for messaging, but we exchanged Facebook. And then, uh, and then one day she asked me, she was like, Oh, hey, like, uh, do you want to catch a meal or something? And I was like, Oh yeah, sure.

That's great. And so, you know, she's like asking me to eat something and it was very casual. And so we picked a day and then, you know, we set the day.

So then I'm going to go eat with her. And it was, I remember like the day that we were going to eat the time it was right before, like, I had like a tennis class. So, uh, and, and in hindsight, so looking back at it now, I shouldn't have picked that time, but, uh, I don't know.

I didn't really think about it that much. I was stupid. Okay.

You have to forgive me. So, uh, I picked like a time before tennis. I think it was like an hour before tennis.

So then, uh, I, and when I go play tennis, I just wear like, you know, my tennis stuff, so like, just like my tennis shorts and like my racket and then like my sneakers and then my socks, which are like really old and all the color stuff doesn't really match. Like, I never, ever cared about fashion really. I mean, even now I don't care that much.

Uh, but, but like, so I was just wearing like my tennis stuff. And then I went to this date. I didn't know it was a date.

I had no idea it was a date. Okay. And then she picked the restaurant and she did the reservation, which is really nice.

Um, I don't think I even thanked her for it, but, uh, she picked like a fancy vegetarian restaurant and like, uh, I don't actually, at the time I, I was thinking like, oh, I don't want to go to like a fancy place, but I never told her that. And then, so she picked like a fancy place and I didn't really look it up until it was actually time to go. So I looked it up on Google maps and then I went there and I was like, oh, it's a fancy restaurant.

And it has like a bunch of dollar signs, meaning it's going to be more expensive. And then, and then I went there and then it was like a really fancy restaurant and like all the people there are like kind of older and they're all really well dressed, like wearing like suits, suits and dresses and stuff. And, you know, like I'm a college student, I'm a first year college student and like all my friends and everyone around me, like they just wear like, you know, just jeans and his t-shirt.

It's like very, very casual. Nobody really cares about that kind of stuff. But then, uh, then I saw like my, my friend or like, I don't even remember her name, I feel so bad, but, um, uh, so basically my date and I didn't know it was a date yet, uh, but she was wearing like a fancy, like white dress.

And, uh, I mean, she looked nice. She had like makeup and stuff. Her hair was, she looked completely different than when we first met.

And then, and then like, you know, so there's like kind of multiple feelings here, number one, it's like, oh, it's wow. She looks nice. But then number two, which is the bigger feeling, I just felt really awkward because I was like, oh, I feel really out of place.

Everyone here is so fancy. I'm not fancy. Okay.

She's wearing like a nice dress. She looks nice. I don't look nice.

I'm wearing like sneakers and like some tennis stuff. And like, I didn't even have a backpack. I just was carrying like a tennis racket.

I have my, my Prince tennis racket. That's the brand of the racket, my Prince tennis racket. And then, so I look like a, I don't know, like, like a kid.

And then, so I went and I met her and she was like, oh, hi. And like, you know, come over here. And then, um, it was really awkward.

And also I think, uh, like right from the very beginning, she was asking like some kind of like deeper personal questions right from the very beginning. She was like, oh, Hey, so like, uh, what kind of girlfriend are you looking for? And then I was just like, I don't know. I haven't thought about it.

And it was like, it was really awkward for me. And I think, uh, realistically, like, um, now, now I'm older and I've experienced more life and stuff. If somebody asked me that, then I would probably understand the situation more.

Probably the right thing to do is to just be honest about my feelings and be like, oh, sorry, I didn't know that we were going to a fancy place. I didn't know that everyone would be dressed up. I didn't know that this was going to be a date.

Is this a date? Like, I should have asked that, but I I'm just too awkward. I'm so awkward that I am not able to, I'm incapable, I'm unable to ask that question to be like, oh, is this a date? So then, uh, the whole time, like I like didn't, we didn't talk about whether or not this was a date, but she like asked a lot of questions about like, oh, like, you know, what kind of girlfriend are you looking for? And then like, uh, what are your plans for the future? Like, do you want to get married or do you want to have kids or something? And I was like, dude, I don't know, man.

Like I didn't, I haven't thought about it yet. And then I was also too awkward to say it like that. So I would just be like, oh yeah, you know, like, like normal.

Yeah. Yeah. Normal, whatever.

So I had like a really awkward time. And also like talking about it now, I feel really bad. Cause like, you know, we had like a good experience and she probably thought, oh, you seem like a potential candidate for me.

Like maybe we can date. Uh, and then I like, didn't do my part. I showed up, I looked like trash.

I have my, I have my, my tennis stuff on and I only like, I had to go in an hour. And I don't even think I told her like, I have to go play tennis. But then eventually I was like, okay, so I have to go play tennis.

I'm sorry. And then like, I paid for half the meal and then I went to play tennis and like, she probably thought that like, I was just making that up, but actually like, you know, I was wearing like the tennis stuff and I actually did have tennis class. And then, um, oh, by the way, the end of the story is, uh, like, so like when we were parting ways, when we were leaving and saying bye, a lot of the times when you say bye to friends, like you say like, oh, Hey, like, you know, it was really great to see you.

It was really fun and we should totally do this again next time. Like you give these kind of like warm feelings, like thanking them. And then also like, oh, let's do something again next time.

But I think she and I kind of felt the same way, which was kind of like, oh, like, thank you for meeting me today. And I was like, yeah, thank you for meeting me today. And then it was kind of awkward because normally you say something like, oh, we should do this again, but I don't think, I don't think neither one of us, neither one of us wanted to do it again the second time.

And I feel bad. Like, um, I was kind of young back then. And, and I, I honestly, I don't even know how she felt.

And we never, we never talked again after that. So that was like, this is like the first date I've ever been on in my life probably. And I didn't even know that it was a date.

And then I went to go play tennis and I didn't really think about it. But then like, uh, I think a couple of days later, I told my friend about it. My friend was like, dude, you went on a date.

And I was like, it's a date. I didn't know it was a date. Cause like, you know, in American culture, if nobody says it's a date, then I think it's not a date.

But then like some of these things are very, very date-like and, uh, I don't know, but anyways, let's go ahead and end the story there. It makes me feel embarrassed to talk about it. And then, uh, let's go ahead.

I want you to rate it on a scale of one to 10 and just like in your mind, or you can say it out loud, whatever, uh, you know, how awkward is this on a scale of one to 10, one meaning not awkward at all. 10 meaning very awkward. Now, let me give you like a couple seconds of silence to think about it.

And then I'll also think about how awkward it was. And then I'll tell you how awkward I felt.

All right.

So I hope you have a guess. And I wonder if you're right. I'm going to give that one like a, like a seven out of 10 awkward.

Uh, I mean, the, the good news is like, nobody was like seriously offended. No one was hurt. Uh, no one said anything mean.

Like I, I didn't say anything mean. I was just like, Oh, I don't, I don't know if I want kids or something like that. And then she was just thinking like, Oh, okay.

So this dude like didn't really dress up for, for this date. And, uh, you know, he's like an idiot. Uh, but you know, nobody was mean or anything.

So, uh, I think it was fine. And also at the end, when we say goodbye, like neither one of us were like, Hey, we should hang out tomorrow. Are you free tomorrow? Then that would be awkward.

You know, if one person wants to hang out and one person doesn't want to hang out, then it's more awkward, but it wasn't like that. We both knew that, Oh, this was very awkward. And you know, like I personally felt like I messed up.

Uh, so I'm going to give it like a seven out of 10 awkwardness. So there you go. You got a little juicy story about my romance.

Uh, but I never saw that person again. It's a story from a long time ago. Uh, so anyways, let's take a short little break here and then I'll be back with one last story.

Okay, so let's go ahead and move on to the last part of this episode. So again, to review, we have come across a couple of different stories of awkwardness and all these are true stories. So, you know, like, uh, don't, don't make fun of me if you see me in real life.

But the number one was the sample one, which is like the, what I call the loser rejection at the ticket gate. Um, and that one's like, not really awkward. And then we have the sushi story.

So like, I went to a sushi restaurant and then I tried to order salmon. I failed. I didn't get the salmon.

And then I, like, I didn't want to admit my mistake. So that's like also kind of decently awkward, two or three out of 10 awkward. And then we just moved on to the most recent story, which was like the date that I went on that I didn't even know it was a date and that one was pretty awkward.

Uh, but now I've got another awkward story for you and I want you to think about it. And, uh, you know, it's a good thing that you're not here in front of me, because if I were to tell you live in person, you would probably like to start laughing and then I would feel even more awkward. Uh, but let's go ahead and tell a story.

So, um, I, I started playing guitar in like 10th grade. So 10th grade is the second year of high school. So that the sophomore, remember, um, the four years of high school is the same as the four years of college.

You call it freshmen, sophomore, junior, senior. So I was a sophomore and I started playing guitar and I really liked rock songs, like I really liked like Green Day in particular, the band Green Day. Like I, I was like, Oh, they're so cool.

And then, uh, so I, uh, I actually ended up signing up for like a talent show. And I wonder if you know where the story is going to go. I ended up signing up for this talent show and I was going to play guitar and sing and I was going to play a Green Day song, uh, and this is in 10th grade.

So I, uh, I was going to play the song 21 guns. So I don't know if you know the song, it's a Green Day song. If you know Green Day, you probably know 21 guns.

Uh, if you don't know who Green Day is, then you probably don't know, but you can listen to it. It's like a, it's a rock song that I like from when I was a kid. Uh, and, um, so I performed it at the talent show and let's see if you know where the story goes.

It actually went pretty well. Well, as well as it could go. I mean, I had played guitar for like three months, maybe four months.

And then I signed up for this thing and I played and I didn't really mess up at, uh, any part, I think. I mean, it's, it's not a, I don't think I did a great job, but like it was as good as I wanted it to be. So it's actually fine.

Okay. So this one, I didn't really mess up, but okay. Here's the part two of the story.

But after that, um, I think like, uh, one or two years later, I ended up going to a different school because I went to boarding school. So boarding school is where you live at the school and it was in a completely different area. So like, uh, I like moved there and I made new friends.

It was actually a really good experience for me. Like, I felt like I grew, I grew as a person, but, uh, at the boarding school, then I signed up for kind of like this, like performance thing there. It was called the Wednesday assembly, but just think of it like a talent show.

And so like, I was signed up for this talent show and then I was like, okay, well, I'm going to play 21 guns. And then, uh, so then I, I'm like smiling and kind of laughing because I just feel so awkward. Uh, it's like reaching that point of embarrassment of awkwardness where it starts to affect you.

I think most people, when you feel really awkward, like you kind of laugh, you kind of move, you have this physical reaction. So, um, I, I performed 21 guns and, uh, the guitar part, it's fine. Like, uh, I, I knew that part pretty well.

And then also like, I kind of know how the song goes. So like singing is also fine, but the problem was I forgot the lyrics to the song. So there's this one part that's like, when you're at the end of the road.

And so when you're at the end of the road and it's supposed to be like a metaphor, right? Uh, but when you're at the end of the road, I forgot what happens, like what comes next after that. So I just kept singing the same lyrics. I was like, oh, when you're at the end of the road, when you're at the end of the road and like, you know, after two or three or four times, everybody starts to know like, okay, this dude forgot the lyrics.

Ooh, that's so awkward. So like I was performing this thing. And again, this is in front of the whole school.

Okay. So everyone that goes to the school, all the students, all the teachers, even like the janitor, even the lunch lady was probably there and then like, there are even staff people that you don't really see that you don't see every day because they like have like the night shift or something like they sometimes come and watch this thing and they see me and they're like, oh, wow, he's singing. It's fine.

And then like, you know, 30 seconds in like Chris forgot the lyrics. So I'm just sitting there like when you're at the, and I want you to imagine this. Okay.

Imagine that you are in the audience and like, you have your friend or like your, your student friend, or maybe you're not really a friend, but like, you know, this person, cause you went to school with them and they're performing the song and while they're performing, it's okay. And then 30 seconds later, you're like, wait a minute. I think he's been singing the same stuff for the past, like for the past 30 seconds.

Oh, I think he forgot the words. That's definitely not how the song goes. And then, um, what you feel here, it's something called cringe.

So cringe is like when something is awkward, but it's so, so awkward that. Like you, you, you kind of almost have a physical reaction. You want to like curl your body up.

Like me, as I tell the story, like I start laughing cause it's kind of cringe and then my body kind of wants to, Oh, I just kind of want to curl up into a ball and like, and, and, you know, not tell anyone about this story, but the cringe actually also works as secondhand. So you don't have to be the person that experienced it. Like, I'm telling you the story and then it's cringe for me, but it can be cringe for you too.

You can also say, Oh, wow, that's so cringe. Uh, and that's because it's just so, so awkward that it like spills over to you. Like just imagining this makes you feel the awkwardness too.

So that one, this is called, ow, my foot hurts. My foot hurts because I'm cringing, but um, yeah, so that's a, that's cringe. And you know, like, uh, and this one, you know, you can, you can take a guess of how awkward it is from a scale of one to 10.

I'm going to have to put it at like a nine. This is maybe the most embarrassing thing. Uh, no, I think there's probably more, but I'm not going to talk about anything higher than a nine on this podcast.

It's just too, it's too much for me. My heart can't take it. Uh, but again, so, you know, the word of the day for this whole, the whole, whole theme of this podcast episode was awkwardness and, uh, what happens when it's super, super awkward, then you can call it cringe.

Uh, and it's kind of mean like to say, Oh, that's cringe. And, you know, you can, there are other situations. Um, for example, if like somebody says something and it's like really, really awkward, then sometimes you can say, Oh, that's cringe.

Uh, but cringe is usually kind of negative. Um, and it's not that bad, but, um, you know, use it if you want, whatever. So I told you a bunch of these stories and it was so embarrassing.

And like, I, now my heart needs to rest because I spent too much time embarrassing myself on this podcast, which everyone in the world could listen to for free. 

So, so with that, um, you know, thanks so much for listening to Kuli English podcast and I hope you enjoyed these embarrassing, awkward stories. If you want to share them with people, like I have mixed feelings, right? Because I want people to get free English practice and like, you know, have fun while learning English, but at the same time, it's so awkward.

It's so embarrassing that I don't know if I want that many people to know about it. Like, uh, yeah, but anyways, do what you want. Share it if you want, don't share it if you want.

And, uh, you know, good luck with your English studies and we'll see you next time for Kuli English podcast.