022: Quartz Mountain

In this episode, I talk about a summer camp I went to for music and writing called Quartz Mountain. As always, there will be silly stories, like throwing Cheetos at spiders and hiding a laptop underneath my pillow for two weeks.

Chapter bookmarks:

00:00 Start
02:46 What is Quartz Mountain?
05:00 Application process
08:26 Making up a story: ants
12:16 Typical day
18:14 Throwing Cheetos at a spider
22:47 Secret laptop
25:55 When you fail at something

Chapters

• 0:00 Start
• 2:46 What is Quartz Mountain?
• 5:00 Application Process
• 8:26 Making up a story: ants
• 12:16 Typical day
• 18:14 Throwing cheetos at a spider
• 22:47 Secret laptop
• 25:55 When you fail at something

Transcript

Hello everyone, welcome back to Kuli English Podcast, it's me, your host, Chris. So this is episode 22, and we just had episode 21 released last week, and that was the interview with Eriko. So, you know, if you listened to that, thank you, I hope you had fun.

Hopefully we'll have some more interviews with some other friends, or, I think it's a lot easier if you have, like, two people talking on the podcast. But this episode, it's just back to me. And so I think it's been a while since I told, like, just a personal story.

So this episode is just going to be me telling a story again. And I'm going to be talking about, like, a summer camp. So let me go ahead and explain what a summer camp is.

So again, in the U.S., in the four seasons, right, so you've got, like, uhh spring, summer, fall, and winter, you usually have school, generally throughout the whole year, except summer. So those are the three seasons. So fall, so that starts in, like, probably August or so, and you keep having school, and then in the winter you get a small little break, and then you go into spring, and in spring sometimes you have a small little break, but summer is usually the time when you don't actually have any school.

So for college students, or high school students, or, like, elementary school students, generally in the U.S., summer is when you have something called summer break. And it's different from Japan, because Japan, I think the break happens in spring. But in the summer in the U.S., then you kind of, like, have a couple choices.

So a lot of people can just, you know, do nothing. You can stay at home, stay with your family, relax, you know, just enjoy life without having to go to school every day, or some people go to a summer camp. And there are many reasons why you might go to a summer camp.

Maybe you want to go to the summer camp because you want to attend some kind of program, or maybe you want to go because your friend's going, or maybe you have to go because your parents are making you do stuff, because your parents are like, you know, don't do nothing at home, go do something. So there's some of that. And so I went to a couple different summer camps in my life, and this time I want to talk about, well, actually, if you see behind me, there's, like, this little thing that I drew recently.

It's supposed to be a picture of a famous actor. But it's not bad. It's, like, the first thing I ever drew.

But the summer camp I went to is kind of, like, focused on arts. So, like, drawing, photography, music, writing, and these kinds of things. And it was called Quartz Mountain.

And let's go ahead and get started with that, but after this short little music break.

All right, so let's go ahead and get started. So first off, let me explain what Quartz Mountain is.

Quartz Mountain, you don't really need to know what it means. You probably know what a mountain is. If you don't know what a quartz is, it's kind of like a mineral, but you don't really need to know what that is.

Quartz Mountain means, like, the whole area. The whole area was called Quartz Mountain. It's not close to, like, really anything.

It's really remote, it's really in the middle of nowhere, in, like, really close to nature. There's a lot of nature stuff there.

So we called the whole area Quartz Mountain. We also called the summer camp Quartz Mountain. It's, like, the same name.

And then there's also a mountain called Quartz Mountain there, which is why the whole area is called Quartz Mountain. So Quartz Mountain is a two-week, like, arts summer camp. So two weeks.

Like, it's not that long. It's not four weeks. It's not six weeks.

It's just two weeks. And it's an arts summer camp, meaning you focus on art things. Art things meaning, like, drawing stuff, painting stuff, sculpting stuff, anything art, right? So music is also art, and then dance, and then film, photography, acting, like, all of these things. They have all these disciplines, is what they call it, like, different arts. 

And then, so it's a two-week residential summer camp, so you actually live there. Some summer camps, you don't actually live there.

Maybe you go there during the day, and then you go, you sleep at home, like, with your parents or something, and then your parents drive you back the next day. That's, like, kind of a summer camp. But then the summer camp, in my mind, and also the ones that I went to, usually they were residential summer camps.

Residential meaning you actually live there. So like, I actually lived there, and I had, like, three other roommates. All guys, of course.

And then, like, one of the roommates was, like, an older person, and he's, like, a counselor. So he's not, like, a student. He's, like, one of the teaching staff.

And then he's just living there, and I mean, I don't think we really did that much together. Like, it's not like he's teaching us. He was teaching a different, he was teaching, I think, photography or film, and he wants to be, like, a related, he wants to go into the film industry.

But it's different from each of us. Like, some other people were, I think, acting, and then I was, I went in for, I went in for writing, actually, even though I wanted to go in for music. So actually, let me talk about that.

So I'm going to talk about getting into Quartz Mountain.

So Quartz Mountain is, they usually have, like, a thousand applications each year, and then there's only 240 spots, and it really depends on, like, what you're applying for. So if you're applying for, like, ballet or something, then, you know, like, maybe there's a certain number of people applying for ballet, and if you're applying for, like, violin, then there's, like, a different number of people applying for violin.

So like, you know, a thousand to 20, to, it's, like, the 24%, a thousand applicants and 240, like, spots, that's if you include everything together. But of course, some stuff is probably more competitive, and some stuff is less competitive. So I applied to Quartz Mountain, I think, like, every single summer that I could, because I always wanted to go.

I was like, oh, this seems kind of cool. And then I applied every year, but I always got rejected every year. So again, the four years of high school are freshman year, sophomore year, junior year, and senior year.

So I think you are, I forget if you can actually apply after your freshman year, but maybe I didn't know about it freshman year. So I applied, like, my sophomore year, junior year, and senior year. I applied three years, like, every year.

And then I got rejected every single year. And wait for it, there's, like, the next part of the story. But like, I remember sophomore year, I applied for violin, got rejected.

Junior year, I applied for violin, got rejected. And then senior year, the senior year is my last year of high school, right? And the summer camp, it's only for high school students. So if you graduate high school, you can't go to the summer camp anymore.

Because you know, you go to college, and then you grow up, and they don't want grown-ups, I guess. But I remember I applied for violin again senior year, and of course I got rejected. Even though I was like, oh, I practiced a lot, I thought I could get it, but I didn't get in.

And then I was like, okay, so let me try applying for, like, a couple other different disciplines. So then I applied for piano as well. So I prepared a little piano piece.

I remember I played a Hungarian Rhapsody by Liszt. Do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do. Like, that song.

But you know, I didn't really do that great a job. Later on I'll find out that the people that actually got in for piano, they were like, amazing. Like, they've been playing piano all their lives, and they're like truly prodigies.

But then, you know, I couldn't get in for music. And I wanted to get in for music. I should've applied for guitar, but I think at the time I didn't think, like, I could to actually get in with a guitar.

So I didn't even try with guitar. But I was like, okay, I really wanna get in. Let me go ahead and try applying with creative writing.

So creative writing is like, I guess like writing like poetry or like short stories or like really anything, basically writing. And then I've never done any like writing, I think, up until that point. Like all the writing was for classes.

It was for like schools, like when you have like a special English literature class and you have to write about like the character and like what the theme of the story is and stuff like that. And it's, I don't really like it that much, but I just wanna go to the camp. So then I apply for creative writing.

And I said like, I love creative writing. I love writing stories. I love writing.

And then for the creative writing process, I remember you have to basically, there's like two parts of the application. Number one, you have to submit something that you wrote, like a piece is what they call it. So a piece of like writing that you created.

It can be anything. It can be poetry. It can be like a short story.

So I submitted, I think some kind of short story. I don't really remember what I submitted. It's been a long time, but I do remember part two of the application process, which is like, if you make it past the first round, then you go to the second round.

And the second round is, I don't know what you call it. It's like a live writing process. So you go into this room and there's like 20 students and everyone just has like paper and pencil in front of them and that's it.

And they're like, okay, so you can't bring anything into this room, but you have like, I think two hours or three hours to like write whatever you want. And then that's your application. So I was like, oh crap, what do I write? And then the rules are, there are no rules.

You can write whatever. You can write like poetry. You can write fiction.

You can write comedy stuff. You can write horror, anything. So then I remember I was like, oh, what do I write about? Okay, well, I'll just go ahead and write about like ants.

So ants are like the little insects, right? So there's like the queen ant, the small ant. They're the little bugs that like sugar. And you imagine them like if you're at a picnic and then you leave your food out, then the ants are gonna come and maybe take a little bit of your food.

They're like kind of bugs that aren't really that scary looking. But what I, I don't know why, but I was just like, okay, well, I'm under pressure. I need to write something good.

So let me write about ants. So then I wrote about, I think, I don't have that writing anymore. Like, cause like you have to write it and you submit it and you don't ever get it back.

I don't know what happened to it, but I wrote about ants like suing each other. So there's like two like ants and they're in court. And then like somebody's suing them for, I don't, I forgot, like I don't know, stealing their sugar or something.

They're like, you stole my sugar. I was like, no, I didn't, someone else stole it. And they're like, oh, you know that all sugar must go to the queen.

You can't take it for yourself. And then the dude, eventually like the ant, I just remember reading about how when ants like fight each other, what they do is, cause ants have like six legs, right? So what they do is they outnumber the ant and then like each ant takes like a leg. So it's like six ants versus one ant.

And then you like pull them apart and you pull off their legs. And that's how you, that's how you beat the ants. It's a very like numbers game.

So the like, if ants are fighting other ants, like the team with more ants wins. Cause you have to take like six people and then get somebody and rip apart one of them and then move on. So like, I think I wrote a little bit about that.

So it's a little bit like grotesque. It's a little bit maybe gross, but I was just writing about it. And it was kind of a comedy element.

Then the person was like, no, it wasn't me. I didn't do it. And then like the judges like pull them apart and then they pull them apart and then he dies.

That was like the story that I wrote. And then, so I actually, I didn't even get in with the creative writing. Like I submitted this like, you know, ridiculous, silly story about like ants arguing with each other.

And then I didn't get, there's like, I think there were like, I don't know, maybe 10, 15 spots or so. And I got the alternate spot. So the alternate spot is, it's the same thing as a wait list.

So like the first like 15 slots, they're like, okay, so we got actually good people and we filled in the 15. And then they read my thing and they're like, okay, so you're not good enough to make it in the top 15, but we'll put you at like maybe 16 or 17. So I was the alternate, which means if one of those like top 15 people can't make it to the camp, then I get to go.

So then actually that's what happened. So like somebody who was better than me at writing, they couldn't make it. So then I was like an alternate and eventually they were like, okay, so you got accepted because somebody canceled.

So you're all good to go. And I was like, yay. And I really didn't care, like, that they thought that I sucked.

Like I just wanted to go to the camp. And then I went to the camp and it was great. And let me start telling you about the camp after this short little music break.

All right, so let's go ahead and talk about the everyday at Quartz Mountain. So, you know, in the previous section, we talked about like my process of applying to get into Quartz Mountain and then like getting lucky and getting selected. And then also about like, you know, what summer camps are and like living there, what it all means.

But now let me actually tell you about like what I did every day at this summer camp. So at the summer camp, like, because I got in for writing, then I have to go to writing class and everyone goes to their class, right? So if you get in for violin, then you go to violin class. If you get in for dance, then you go to dance class.

And you have class in the morning and then you get a little break for lunch and then you come back for class in the afternoon. And then after the afternoon, then you have like free time. You can do whatever you want.

So you can meet up with friends. You can go back to your bed and like relax. You can really do anything.

And so in the class, I remember, so I got in for like kind of like a comedic writing thing. Like I wrote prose. Prose meaning like it's like normal.

It feels like speech, kind of like talking. It's not poetry. It's not like a play.

It's not like a script or anything. But it probably depends on the teacher, but our teacher for that year, and you know, the teacher changes every year, but the teacher was like, he's like a famous poet. So he's, I mean, he's like kind of famous.

I didn't know who he was, but then if you look him up, it turns out he's famous. He's like that kind of famous. And then, so he would do stuff, like he would try to get us to write poetry.

And then he wants to give us ideas for poetry. And like, you know, we read things and then sometimes we read each other's stuff and then talk to each other about poetry. A lot of poetry.

And then I remember once he even like took us outside and he's like, okay, so I want you to like, you know, feel more in sync with nature. So we're gonna go out and appreciate nature. So then we went out and then like, we sat on like this area in the shade and he's like, okay, everyone like touch the grass.

We touched the grass. And he's like, okay, everyone touch the wood that you're sitting on and touch it. Like, okay, now touch the cement on the ground and touch the cement.

He's like, now think about how it feels. Okay, great. Now write.

And then like the moment he said, now write, then everyone like, they take their pen and their paper and they're like writing, they're writing. They have a lot of stuff to write. And then like, I'm the only one like looking around to the left and right.

I'm like, dude, I don't know what to write. Cause you know, like sometimes in classes or stuff or like in situations where like the instructor or the leader tells you, okay, now do something. And then like, if you don't know what to do, for me, if I don't know what to do, I'm always looking around.

I'm like, I look to my left. Do you know what to do? And I looked at the right, do you know what to do? I don't know what to do. And then like, whatever they do, I'll probably kind of copy it, right? So if people, if like we're in a cooking class and they're like, okay, now beat the egg.

And then I'm like, what does that mean? I look at other people and they're like actually beating the egg down. Okay, I'll beat the egg too. I like copy them.

But then for the writing stuff, like I just, I really felt like I was different from the other people. Cause the other people were kind of like, yeah, I know what to write. And then they're writing and they're like, oh yeah, they're writing.

And I think they're putting a lot of like emotion and feeling into it. And for me, I was just like, I don't know what to write. Were you thinking about what to write before? And like, I know we touched the grass, but it just felt like grass.

And I know we touched the wood and it felt like wood. And we touched the cement and it was kind of hot cause it was kind of sunny. That's all I thought about.

And then like I, and you know, like for writing, you can't, you can't like see what other people are writing and write the same thing. That's like, it's like copying. You can't do that.

So then like, I'm looking at other people and they're all really focused. So like a lot of them don't even have the, the like mental space to like notice that I'm looking at them. They're like, yeah, I got to write.

I got to write. I got to make my art. So then I remembered a lot of the times other people would write stuff and they probably wrote good stuff.

And then I was just there like writing some stuff. And then the teacher would come by and be like, oh, Chris, how's it going? And I'd be like, I don't really know what I'm writing. He's like, it's okay.

Just keep working on it. And then I would write. And then sometimes I would like purposely write like, like it was kind of mean, but I would, I would like try to write like what I imagine other people want me to write.

So then I was like, okay, you probably want me to talk about nature. So like, I talk about like a bunch of nature stuff and I'd be like, oh, the nature on my skin, like glistening in the sunlight or something like that. And then people are like, oh yeah, yeah, yeah.

And sometimes they were pretty happy with it, but like, I didn't really take it seriously. It was kind of like, I feel kind of bad, but I applied because I wanted to go to the music thing and I couldn't get in for music. So I applied with like creative writing, but the only skill that I have is like comedy stuff.

So like I came in with comedy stuff. So I really didn't fit in. But so, you know, that's the class and it was fine, whatever.

And then after class, then you get to go hang out with whoever you want. So I had a bunch of friends that were doing music there and they were actually good at music stuff. So like, you know, they got in with their real skill.

And then I like knew them because we did a bunch of music stuff before like actually going to the summer camp. So I've already known them for a couple of years and then I go meet them. It's like, oh, hey.

And it was actually really amazing because like this summer camp, I think like a lot of people were just really, really good at music. Like some people were like extremely talented and some of them were like actually my friends and I didn't even know that they were that talented. So there would be people that could just like listen to something like once and they're like, okay, and then they can play it on the piano.

It's like, wow, that's nuts. You have to be so good at listening and like your piano skills to be able to just do that. And then it's not just that, like there's other instruments too.

So like people play the violin and like they look at something, okay, I can play it. And then, yeah, it was really amazing. So I did some music stuff, like covered some music stuff too with some friends and stuff.

But I do remember like a one more, like kind of random story. And it's kind of weird because when you go to like summer camps or like you go to these camps and the main thing is to do the summer camp stuff, but the thing that remains the most in your mind, the thing that leaves the biggest impression on your mind is like dumb, stupid stuff. So let me tell like two of those stories and then we'll go ahead and take a short little break.

So first, let me talk about the hiking story. So in Quartz Mountain, like there's this little mountain area. I don't know if it's actually called the Quartz Mountain, but there was like the small little mountain that you could climb up.

And then, so I went to go climb up there with like some of the music friends. And then I don't know why, but like I brought Cheetos with me. I think it was probably after breakfast.

And I was like, oh, you have some Cheetos. And I like, I'm like kind of greedy. So I take like free stuff and I'm like, yeah, Cheetos, give me that.

So I took the Cheetos. And then I have like this bag of Cheetos with me and I'm pretty sure the Cheetos, it was like the puff Cheetos. So Cheetos, there's like different types of Cheetos.

There's like the normal Cheetos and then there's the Cheetos puffs. And the Cheetos puffs are a bit more like puffed up. It's a little bit bigger and it's got more air.

And yeah, anyway, so I had like a bag of Cheetos puffs and we're hiking up the mountain and somebody eventually sees like a really big spider. And they're like, oh dude, look at that spider. It's a huge spider.

And people are like, oh wow, yeah, it's a big spider. And I like, I'm kind of scared of spiders, like a little bit, but also it was really big. And I wanted to feed the spider.

I like feeding animals and insects. Like it's kind of a thing. So then I had my Cheetos and I was like, okay, well maybe the spider will eat a Cheeto.

Of course, you know, like spiders don't eat Cheetos and you probably think I'm stupid, but at the time I thought, okay, a spider will probably eat a Cheeto. So then, you know, I'm kind of scared of spiders. So like, I didn't want to get close to the spider.

I wanted to give the Cheeto from far away. So what do I do? I throw a Cheeto at the spider. And then I think I missed like once or twice because the Cheeto puffs are like, they're kind of like soft and like you can't really throw them well because they're like big and there's a lot of friction in the air.

I can't really explain it well. It's kind of like if you throw like a tissue, it's hard to throw the tissue because there's a lot of, it's like soft and there's a lot of air resistance. But that's why I took a Cheeto and then I threw it at the spider and eventually I landed it on the web.

I didn't actually hit the spider, it hit the web. And then just the first Cheeto that hit the web, like my image, like what I really was expecting was I expected the Cheeto to like stick to the web, like there, like really, really sticky. And the spider goes like, and then like, yeah, and jumps on the Cheeto and like eats the Cheeto, like, I think that's what I was expecting.

But what actually happened was I threw the Cheeto and it landed on the web. And then the whole web fell. Cause like, I guess the Cheeto was just too heavy and the web was actually really weak.

And then the web fell and then the spider like, you know, kind of falls and he's also kind of dangling. And he's like, oh no, my home's been destroyed. And then what I expected was like a really fierce, strong spider.

But what I saw was like a poor little spider, like getting his home ruined. And then I look at myself and I'm like, what have I done? Like, I just brought these Cheetos to this mountain. Cheetos aren't even like a natural food, you know, it's not even like a fruit or anything.

It's like a super processed chip that like bugs definitely don't eat and destroyed the spider's home. And I was like, oh, okay, well, it destroyed his home. And everyone's moving on.

So I just moved on too. And people are like, Chris, what were you doing? I was like, oh, I was feeding a bug. And they're like, okay, yeah, whatever.

We just continued. And then we went up and we hiked up and then that was it. And then eventually went back down.

And on the way back down, I was trying to look for the spider, but like he wasn't there. And yeah, the spider was probably thinking like, dude, why'd you ruin my home? And then I really thought about it and it's like, oh, maybe like in nature, there's not really like such big fat puffy bugs like that. So there actually are bugs in Japan, like cicadas.

They're actually pretty big. And they kind of remind me of like a giant Cheeto puff. But you know, out there in Quartz Mountain, probably that spider is like meant to, he made the web and he's like used to catching really small bugs.

He's not used to like giant Cheetos flying from the air, destroying something. He's like, ah, my home is getting destroyed by orange Cheetos. But that was something kind of dumb that I did.

And it's not bad. Like that spider, I'm sure that spider can just make a new home. Like it takes a spider like less than an hour to make a new home.

So sorry, little spider. And then there was also something else that I thought was kind of funny, which is so at the summer camp, I think you're not supposed to like bring a computer. I don't know why, but unless you are like related to like film or like photography stuff, like you're not supposed to use a computer and that's supposed to make sure that you can focus on the art and you don't get too distracted.

But I use my computer all the time because like I didn't really have a smartphone and I would use Google voice to like text people. And that's how I kept in touch with people who only texted because I don't know why, like at the time, I guess people didn't really use messenger or something like that. But so you're not supposed to have a laptop, but I had a laptop.

And then I was in like the top bunk of my room, right? So I lived in a log cabin place with like three other guys. And then I was in the top bunk, but my laptop needs to be charged. So like, how do I charge it? Well, I kept the laptop like underneath my pillow and then I would just charge it by like, well, I had the charger plugged in and then it would like go up and it plugs into something underneath my pillow.

So it was like, it was very, very obvious that like I had this laptop. And then I just, I always thought it was really funny because like my other roommates, they also knew that I had a laptop and you know, they didn't hate me or anything. So they're not gonna be like, hey, like I'm gonna tell everyone you have a laptop.

And I don't know what the punishment is if you bring a laptop. It's probably like they take it away and they're like, please don't do that. It's probably no punishment.

But I remember like the, like we have four people, right? So there's like the three students and then we have like the counselor person and he's like the boss. And every time he goes to his room, like my computer charger cable is like in front of his door. So he has to like step over the charger.

And it's also like, there's the part of the charger that's like the transformer. It's like the little block area. So it's not just the wires.

Like it's like the wire and then it turns into like the block thing. And then it continues to the wire and then it actually goes into my computer. But like every time like the counselor guy would come back to his room, he'd like look down and he has to step over that thing.

And he looks down and he steps over it. And then he goes in. And then I remember like at some point, like the three losers, so us students that are like, Chris, I'm pretty sure like people know that you have a laptop.

Like what else could that little charger be? It's very obviously like a computer charger. And then like people were just like, yeah, it's pretty obvious. And then I think there were multiple times when like the counselor would like step over and he's like, yeah.

Geez, Chris, always putting stuff in the way, huh? And he's like making a joke about it. But he never said anything about me having a laptop. I don't even know if he knew that I had a laptop.

Probably he like kind of knew, but he kind of forgot that it's against the rules. That's my guess. But anyways, I thought that was pretty funny.

So let's take a short little break here and then we'll make it to the last section.

Alright, so let's go ahead and make it into our last section for this episode. So you know, up until now we've talked about a bunch of different things, we've talked about what a summer camp is, we talked about like Quartz Mountain, what is Quartz Mountain, and we talked about like my everyday about what I did there. And so now I actually kind of want to take a step back and actually like talk about some feelings and some motivation stuff.

But again, I want to point out that this summer camp is something that I really, really wanted to go to. Like as a high school student, I always thought this is like my dream summer camp. My dream summer camp.

This is my absolute best summer camp that I could ever want to go to. And it's because like I had a lot of other friends that I met and they went to that summer camp and they had a good time and they were going to go again and I want to spend like time with my friends and it seems really nice. Like I want to go there for two weeks.

It seems like the best two weeks ever. And like I really wanted to go. But you know, the first time I applied, I failed.

And that one was it was it kind of hurt because, you know, I expected myself to make it in because, you know, people say like, oh, like, you know, you're a first chair violin or you must be really good. You're probably really good. I'm sure you'll make it in.

So they have this expectation of I would probably make it in. And I have the same expectation. I'm like, yeah, so people say I'm good.

So I'm probably good. And then I apply, I play my violin and then I fail. Like it wasn't even like I got the alternate position, like I just failed.

And that, that was, that was pretty disappointing. So I think people can probably relate to that. Like I'm sure everybody has had an experience where they want to do something and people tell them they're good at it.

And oh, if it's you, you'll definitely make it. You'll definitely make it. And then you don't make it.

And then it hurts. Right. Cause it's like, oh, everyone, also everyone else thought that I would make it, but maybe I messed up.

Maybe, maybe I'm not good and I'm not good when that one's kind of hard to come to terms with that one's hard to come to terms with, meaning like hard to accept and some people reject it. Some people accept it. But you know, a really important thing is if there's something that you really want, um, it doesn't matter if you suck or you don't suck.

You have to keep trying. So if there's something that you really, really want, in my case, I really, really wanted to go to the summer camp, right? So then I applied in the first year and I got rejected. I was like, oh, so sad.

And then I've tried again. So then, uh, I tried again and then I got rejected again. And then, uh, you know, the second time I tried, I think I expected like, oh yeah, maybe I won't pass.

Uh, and then I didn't pass. And then, uh, and then the third time around, I was just so, so desperate. I was like, dude, I really want to go.

I don't actually need to go, but I really want to go. Like it's really fun. And then, so I think this one's really important.

Sometimes people do stuff because they need it. They need it because it's like good for their career. It's uhh, if you don't get it, it's bad for their money or like something like that.

But sometimes you do stuff cause you really, really want it. And I think the wanting part is actually really, really strong. It's really strong if you're able to leverage it, if you're able to use it.

So in my case, um, at the time, I didn't really think that much about it. Right? I was just like, I want to go to the summer camp. I want to hang out with those people.

I want to have a good two weeks. I don't want to stay at home. That's, that's all I was thinking.

I wasn't thinking like, Oh, let me think about my motivation or anything like that. Um, but then I applied and then like the third time around, like I applied with the violin and then I applied with the piano, right. And am I good at piano? No, not really.

Well, at the summer camp, you have to be, there's only two spots for piano. So you have to be basically the best two piano players in the state to be able to get in this thing. Am I the best two? Absolutely not.

There's no way, right? There's like a 0% chance, or maybe there's like a 0.001%. If like all the other people who are better than me got sick and then they didn't apply or something like that. But, but like applying for this thing in piano, I remember when I was playing the actual song, I was like, there's like, you can hear from the first five seconds that I am not like a genius and like to be able to get into this thing, you have to be kind of like, I think a genius level, probably for at least for music stuff. Cause this camp is very music oriented.

And then, but when I was applying for the thing, I still played my piece. I still tried my best. I was like, I want to get into this camp, dude.

I want to hang out with my friends. I don't even care if I get in for, for anything. I could get in as a plumber, I could clean toilets and I still want to go.

And then, uh, so playing that piece, I remember I was thinking, I'm not going to get in, but I'm still doing it. And that mentality, I think was actually a really, really good thing for me. Because when I did that, then I thought, Oh, well, why don't I try out any other thing that I could try out on? So dance, you know, I actually have no idea how to dance.

That's fine, but creative writing. Okay, sure. Let's just try it.

Let's just send it. It's easy to apply. I'll just send it.

And you know, at the time, if you had asked me, if you like did an interview and you're like, Hey, Chris from high school, do you think you're going to be able to get in with like violin? My answer is like, yeah, there's a small chance. Do you think you'll be able to get in with piano? Nah, dude, no way. And it's like, why'd you do it? Cause there's this really, maybe there's a really small chance.

And then do you think you could get in with creative writing? And my confidence there was even less. Okay. It's cause I've played violin for like, you know, five, six years or something, piano for like three years.

How many years have I done creative writing? Zero. I've never done it before. So then, so then if you asked me at the time, do you think you can get in with creative writing? The answer is absolutely not.

But because I really, really wanted to go, I wanted it that much. I was like, I don't care. It doesn't cost me anything to try in this other direction.

So I think, uh, you know, taking a step back for, I'm sure for the people that are listening. So for you, uh, if you ever have anything that you really, really want, um, it's actually a really powerful feeling and, and you, and if you want it that much, you have no choice, but to do your best to satisfy your heart, because your heart wants it. I want it.

You got to try, you got to try in every single way or else afterwards you're going to look back and think, Oh, I should have tried in this other way. I should have tried a bit more. Like you don't want to have any regrets and there's nothing you can do because you already want it.

You want it so much. You like it so much. You have to have it.

So, uh, I think this, um, this whole experience of quartz mountain, like it really taught me, um, if you really, really want something, you got to try it. And when you, and I didn't say if, but when you face a failure, you will face a failure eventually for something that you really, really want. It probably won't just happen magically with no issues, but when sometimes you can't jump over the failure, so you got to walk around it.

You got to go find some other pathway in. And then as you walk around, so for me, like I try the piano or wait, right, I'm going to apply, apply with piano. And I try to walk around the failure and you bump into a wall, which is like, you suck at piano, you're not good enough.

So then what do you do when you see the second failure? You try to walk around that, but you keep going. You keep going until someday, sometimes you get lucky and you squeeze in through a little crack and then you make it to the area that you really want. And so that's the way that I view my Quartz Mountain story.

So with that, that's probably a good point to end it for this podcast episode. So thank you so much for listening to this episode of Kuli English Podcast. And as always, you know, feel free to subscribe or follow.

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