027 Dreams

In this episode, we talk about dreams. There are two main meanings to dream, one being the dream that you see when you sleep, and the other being a big goal that you have. In this episode, we talk about both!

Bookmark chapters:
00:00 Beginning
00:15 Real start
03:18 Dreams (sleeping)
09:42 My own dream (sleeping)
19:34 Controlling dreams (sleeping)
24:04 Dreams (goals)

Chapters

• 0:00 Beginning
• 0:15 Real start
• 3:18 Dreams (sleeping)
• 9:42 My own dream (sleeping)
• 19:34 Controlling dreams (sleeping)
• 24:04 Dreams (goals)

Transcript

Hello everyone and welcome back to Kuli English podcast. It's me, your host, Chris. So today we're going to be talking about dreams. 

And I'm really excited to be talking to you about this one because I think it's a really exciting topic. And I love talking about dreams, like, you know, not just in this podcast, but also in real life as well. So first off, what does a dream mean? Well, there's kind of two different meanings for dreams and they're kind of separate.

So let me go ahead and give both of those meanings. So the first meaning of dream is something like a goal in life. It's something that you want to do later in life, something that you want to accomplish later in life. 

So for example, if you ask some kid, like a kid, maybe, I don't know, he's seven years old, eight years old, and let's say his name's Timmy. 

So you say, Hey, Timmy, do you have a dream? What's your dream in life? 

And this is kind of like asking, Oh, what's a goal in life? What's something that you really want to do in life? And Timmy might say something like, Oh, my dream is to go to Disneyland or my dream is to become a professional baseball player, or my dream is to become the president of the United States or something like that. 

So these are kind of like, you know, it can be kind of simple things like going to Disneyland. 

That's like, you can do that in a week. So it doesn't really matter, you know, like how hard the dream is. It just has to be something that you feel like you really want to do. 

And so you can imagine a kid, you know, their dream might be to go to Disneyland, because Disneyland is like, Oh, it's really fun. I want to go there. And I want to have a lot of fun. 

And that's something that I think people can really understand. But you can also have like, you know, kind of deeper dreams. So imagine you ask someone, and you say like, Oh, what's your dream? And they might say something like, Oh, I'm a doctor. 

And my dream is to like save people because you know, when I was young, I like saw someone like in a car accident, and I couldn't save them. So my dream is to save lots of lives or something. And it can be like a different kind of people have different kinds of dreams. 

And it really depends on the people. So that's the first meaning of dreams. Okay, so dreams is kind of like a goal in life, something that you really want to do in life.

And then there's the second meaning for dreams, which is, and this one's completely different. It's not a goal in life. It's like something that you see when you sleep. 

So if you sleep and you fall asleep, there's actually like two main different categories of like, you know, the sleep stuff. I'm not going to talk about that. But sometimes when you sleep, you like see things in your mind. 

And I say see and see kind of means like you use your eyes and you see something. But the dream is really just something that you experience. I think the most natural way to say it in English is like, Oh, I saw a dream or something like that. 

But I think for me personally, the best way to describe it is you experience the dream. And inside dreams. Like when you sleep, it's kind of crazy, like a lot of crazy things happen in the dream, a lot of things that don't make sense happen in the dream. 

And that's just part of the magic of dreams. And, well, I'll tell you a little bit more about it. But after the short little break.

Okay, so let's go ahead and get started and talk about dreams. So why do we dream in the first place? And by the way, I'm talking about the sleeping dream, not the goal in life dream. But the sleeping dream, I think a really good question is why do we have these kinds of dreams in the first place. 

And before we talk about that, I do want to talk a little bit about sleep. Because sleep is related. And also, I think sleep is also very, very, very important. 

And it's not I think it's I know. And a lot of people, I think in life, you know, so you, me and other people around me, a lot of people think that they're okay without sleep. So maybe they only sleep like four hours or five hours. 

And they're like, Oh, it's fine. I'm used to it. And the truth is like, you don't really get used to having low sleep, this is actually not good. 

And sleep is really important for everyone. So according to this one research thing, it, it's actually very rare for someone to be able to function function, meaning like to do everything, it's really hard to do everything with less than six hours of sleep. So if you only sleep six hours a day, you are definitely probably not sleeping enough. 

And there are some people that are okay with less than six hours of sleep, but they are extremely rare. And how rare are they, they are more rare than the number of people who get eaten by sharks. So if you think that you can function like really, really well, without six hours of sleep, like you can sleep five and a half hours, and you think you're fine, it's probably not true, you're probably feeling a lot of like sleep deprivation, sleep deprivation means like lack of sleep. 

So if you didn't sleep enough, you can say I feel sleep deprived, or you can say I'm low on sleep. And so anyways, I just want to talk about sleep because sleeping is important. And then also like, you know, before you sleep, you know, people say like, you should, you know, not do things that are too exciting, you know, don't look too much at phone screens.

So like I, even for my language learning stuff, like when I was really learning Japanese, I would actually like, I would listen to a podcast in the background, but it's on a speaker. And I don't actually have a phone screen. So while I would, before I would fall asleep, I'd listen to some podcast. 

And I promise you, I wasn't really paying that much attention, I would just listen. And then sometimes I think about it. And sometimes I don't understand. 

And I'm like, I don't care. And then I fall asleep. And so again, so sleeping is really important.

And part of sleeping is also kind of like processing what happened in your mind. So like processing memories. So if a bunch of stuff happened that day, then the sleep helps you decide like which memories are actually really important to you and useful to you in life and are things that you want to remember, versus which things happened that day, that actually don't really matter. 

So for example, like if today, I had a really like good conversation with a friend, and we talked about a lot of things, and it meant a lot to me, and then I became better friends with them, then like this feeling and like the things that we talked about, and then, you know, like, I guess what I expect from this friend, mostly the feelings, I think, those things are actually really, really important. So those will probably, like be kept. And then as I sleep, then my brain kind of like keeps it as like, okay, these are good memories. 

And then, and then there are like other unimportant things, you know, like, for example, let's say, when I walk to the bathroom, I actually don't know how many steps, like it takes to go to the bathroom. But let's say it takes me like, I don't know, six steps to go to the bathroom. And then when I was going to the bathroom, let's say I took seven steps today or something. 

And this like, this really doesn't matter, right? I don't feel like this is an important memory. And it's not useful for my life. So these kinds of things, maybe I'll remember it, like when I'm going to the bathroom, and maybe for like, I don't know, 10 seconds or something like that. 

But when we when we sleep, I say we but actually, it should be me. So when I sleep that night, then this memory of Oh, it took seven steps, not six steps to go to the bathroom, that's going to get forgotten, I'm not going to remember that. So these kinds of things are like not important. 

So they get thrown aside. And so in the process of sleeping, I choose like which things? Well, I don't really do it. It's kind of like my brain, so I don't really control it. 

But my brain is going to do that. And that's part of sleeping process. And then another part of the sleeping process is dreams. 

So dreams, it's kind of like arguable, a lot of people actually will say different things about it. But one common way to think about it is it's kind of like a way for your mind to process memories and to also prepare for the future. So for example, let's say I have some like, let's say I have a speech tomorrow.

And I'm really nervous about the speech, then what I might see that night in that dream is because I have this these feelings of like, Oh, I'm nervous about the speech, what if I mess up? What if I forget what to say? And then like, when I'm sleeping that in the dream, then probably there will be something related to that feeling. And I think people will say the dreams like that kind of has two functions. Number one is to kind of help you process your memories now. 

And then the other one is to help you like prepare for the future. So in this feeling, like stress, that's my current feeling. I'm like, I'm stressed about the speech tomorrow. 

I'm worried that it's not going to go well. Oh, no, I'm scared. What if I say something bad? What if people laugh at me or something? And there's that feeling. 

And this way, I got to process that feeling. I got to decide like, Oh, is that important or not important? Oh, it's kind of important because it stresses me out. And then also why when I see that dream, maybe I can prepare for something that's going to happen in that dream. 

So I guess it's just a really long way to say number one, sleep is really important for you. So if you're not getting enough sleep, you should get more sleep. It's going to make you smarter. 

It's going to make you stronger. It's going to make you think faster. And then also number two, when you see dreams, just remember that you can't really control them. 

Actually, we'll talk about that in a little bit. But sometimes you can control dreams. But the dreams are a way for you to process your feelings, a way for you to process your memories. 

And then also, in some cases, it's to help you prepare for the future. So let's take a short little break here. And I'm going to come back and I'm going to be telling you about my dreams.

All right, so let me go ahead and tell you, actually my own personal dream. And again, this one's the sleeping dream. It's not like the dream, the goal in life thing.

And I want to tell you about this dream that I had when I was a kid that was like really memorable for me. Really memorable, meaning like I remember it really well. And I remember, you know, these kinds of dreams, a lot of them just don't make sense. 

So as I tell you the story, some of it might not make sense. And it won't be because the English is too hard. It's going to be because well, just the story is so stupid, it doesn't really make sense. 

But I'm like really excited to tell you the story. So let me first give some background. So I'm not going to tell you about the dream yet. 

I'm going to tell you about me. But a lot of the dreams that I see, usually they occur in places that I have been to. So for example, it's like at the elementary school that I used to go to. 

Or maybe it's like in the room that I lived in in high school. Or maybe like it's the college campus that I went to. But a lot of these places, like maybe inside my mind, I like remember how things look and remember like how the general layout is, like where the rooms are. 

And a really common one is, I like remember the house that our family used to live in New Jersey and also in Oklahoma. And so let me tell you about the Oklahoma house, because that's the one where this next dream, the Hulk dream is going to take place. But like in the Oklahoma house, um, when you go in the front door, there's like a living room area. 

And then if you go to the left, then there's a hallway with rooms, bedrooms, like the bathroom as well. And then if you go into the living room and go a little bit to the right, then that's the kitchen area. So in my mind, I like remember the layout of this place really, really well. 

I guess, in my mind, I think a lot of directional things, like I remember them pretty well. It's just maybe me as a person or something like that. But anyways, so a lot of the dreams that I have, they occur in places that I remember.

And now let me tell you about the Hulk dream. So the Hulk dream is, um, I, I like have, I guess it was kind of like a nightmare. Um, it's a bad dream. 

It's maybe like a, a kind of bad dream to like maybe a nightmare. And the nightmare means like, it's really bad, kind of bad dream means it's like, it's just a little bit bad. It's not too bad. 

But, uh, I dreamed that there was a robber and a robber is going to come to our house and he's going to take all our stuff and he's got a knife. Okay. So, um, he's going to try to steal things. 

And then if people say no, so for example, if I say no, or if maybe my family says, no, you can't, you can't steal stuff, go away. Then the robber is going to be like, well, I have a knife, so you have to do what I say. And, uh, what did I do in this dream? Well, I knew that there was a robber coming and I was like, holy crap, I gotta run away. 

So where do I run? It doesn't really make sense. Cause I'm kind of a stupid kid, but, and also it's a dream, right? So even if I was a smart kid, I probably maybe would have done this, but I knew that there was one spot in the house that was like the farthest away from the front door. And that is my mom's closet. 

So again, I talked about the house layout, right? So basically if you go in and then if you run away down the hallway and then the hallway kind of like turns, it turns to the right. So I enter the house, I run down the hallway and then I go to the right. Then I go all the way to the last room. 

The last room is the, is the master bedroom. It's where my mom, my mom's room is. And then I went in there and then I went to the walk-in closet. 

So the walk-in closet is kind of like, it's just like a closet, but, um, there's like a door. So you can actually physically walk into the closet and be a hundred percent in the closet. That's a walk-in closet. 

A lot of closets, maybe like you open, like open the door to the closet, but you can't actually walk in because there's not enough space. But there was a walk-in closet in my mom's room there. And so I ran in there and then I went into the walk-in closet and I closed the door and I'm like, man, I'm so smart. 

In the dream, I was thinking, oh, I'm so smart. Like I ran away. This is so far away that the robber will never be able to find me. 

And so, so then I did that and I was running away and then I was hiding in the closet, but then I was thinking like, wait, I'm, I'm kind of useless. You know, like the robber is going to come and he's going to steal stuff. And like, maybe I should help because, you know, like in our family, we've got multiple people. 

The robber is just one guy. If we like, you know, fight them as a team or something. And, you know, again, I don't, I don't really recommend this in real life. 

Like you really want to be careful about what fights you pick. So if you're going to fight somebody and they have a knife, well, maybe you shouldn't be fighting them at all. Maybe you should run away. 

Just let them steal things. Uh, you know, your health is very important. Your sleep is very important. 

That's why you're, you know, I was talking about that, but also your health is very important. Your life is very important. So I wouldn't recommend this, but as a kid I was like, yeah, we'll just, we'll just fight the robber. 

We'll fight him as a team. And then I was thinking in my mind at the time I watched like some superhero movies. Uh, so what superhero movies I watched the Avengers.

So the Avengers, like, you know, people know there's like Captain America, there's like Iron Man, a bunch of superheroes. And one of the superheroes is a guy named the Hulk. So the Hulk is like this really big green guy. 

He's like a huge muscular guy and he sounds grrr, like he's like huge. And he's also kind of stupid and can't really control himself, but he's like really, really strong. And, uh, so you probably know what I'm talking about, but he's like this big green guy. 

He's like a giant green, strong guy. And he doesn't wear any clothes. So, you know, no shoes, like no shirt. 

He's got a lot of muscle and he's just wearing like boxers. Um, that way he's not like completely naked, but then, so in that dream, I was thinking like, Oh, I should, I should become the Hulk and that I can help fight the robber. And, uh, it doesn't really make much sense because, you know, in real life, you can't really become the Hulk. 

And even in the movie, like only one guy could become the Hulk. And it's because there's like some story, some background story to him. But anyways, in the dream, I know it doesn't really make sense, but I was just like, well, why don't I become the Hulk and then I can fight the robber. 

So then I became the Hulk. And again, in these dreams, remember stuff doesn't really make sense. I'm just thinking in my mind, Oh, what if a robber comes? And then a robber came into the dream and I was like, Oh, let me run away. 

And I was thinking, Oh, what if I become the Hulk? And then I actually become the Hulk. So I became the Hulk and I'm like, and I'm like really strong. Right. 

And I'm ready to fight the robber. So then I was like leaving the walk-in closet. Right. 

And like, technically, technically, like if we were to really think about it, if I became the Hulk in my mom's closet, the Hulk is so big, he's not going to fit in that closet. Like he's like a huge, muscular green man. It should have been like I grew and then like I, you know, break stuff, but, but it's a dream. 

So it doesn't really make sense. And so I'm about to leave the walk-in closet and then, and then I realized, Oh crap. And I have no idea where this part of the dream came from, but like, I realized that my right foot, it was like stuck inside a really, really big rock. 

And this one, again, it doesn't really make sense because in my mom's closet, there's no such thing as a really big rock. And if there was a big rock, like how could my foot get stuck in it? Well, I don't know. It's a dream. 

So anyways, I realized, Oh crap, my foot is inside the rock. I gotta, I gotta get out of this and I gotta help my family because the family's like, you know, busy fighting the robber. And like, I think I say this like fighting the robber and you might be thinking like, Oh, like, you know, there's like a knife fight or something, but I think I was just imagining it like a video game. 

Like there's like a robber boss and then there's like, you know, like three or four family members and then like, you know, fighting, fighting the robber and I gotta go and assist them. I gotta go help. But my foot was stuck in a rock. 

And then I was like, well, how do I, how do I get out of this? Well, I'm the Hulk, right? I'm supposed to be really strong, right? But then I guess while I was thinking about it, then there are like doubts, doubts, meaning like things that like, Oh, maybe, maybe it's going to be no, maybe it's not going to work. And the doubt is, Oh, I'm as the Hulk, I'm really strong, but I'm not strong enough to like pick up a whole building. So then I don't know why, but then in the dream, the rock was connected to a whole building. 

And you know, the rock is inside the house, but the rock was also attached to a whole building. I know it doesn't really make sense, but it was really, really heavy and I couldn't get out of it. And I was like, Oh, come on, come on, come on. 

And I couldn't get out of it. 

And then, so the sad thing about dreams is that they don't really have like proper endings. They're not like stories where like I write them and I can add the ending and then tell you the story. 

And at the end, I have this good ending. So I don't really have an ending to the story. I just, there's a little bit more to it, but it gets kind of grotesque. It gets kind of gory and kind of bloody. So I'm not going to talk about it, but there wasn't really an ending to it. Like I never met the robber. 

I never fought the robber. I never saved the family. I don't know what happened in the end. 

I just remembered like I had a lot of trouble with the rock. And I think that's, yeah, that's about it for the Hulk dream. So again, like this, this whole dream, it might not have made much sense because it's a dream and I did my best to explain it. 

But I think that's part of like the fun because it's like so crazy. It's like the stuff that you might expect to happen in real life, if this were the case, they don't apply in the dream. Like, you know, if you expect, oh, like, you know, if somebody does this, well, surely this will happen. 

Well, it doesn't happen in the dream because in the dream, it's just, it's all controlled by my, my silly, like, you know, nine-year-old brain. So anyway, so that's the Hulk story. Now let's take a short little break here and then we'll come back and talk a little bit more.

All right, so, um, actually now let's go and talk a little bit more about, like, the, the sleeping dreaming. So, again, there's two meanings to dreams, and we're talking about the, the one that you see when you sleep. And I just told you that story about the Hulk dream that I had as a kid.

This one is, like, one of the dreams that I remember the most. I don't really know why. But, um, I do want to talk about, like, uh, controlling dreams.

And, uh, this is something that I think is a pretty, pretty important one. Uh, I don't know if most people have heard of it or not, but, uh, there's this concept called lucid dreaming. And, uh, lucid dreaming, again, this is not something that I would expect, like, people who are studying English to already know what it means.

Because it's just some kind of new thing that a lot of people probably haven't even heard about, even if they are native English speakers. But lucid dreaming is where you actually control the dream inside the dream. And, um, I think in the Hulk dream, like, uh, I talked about how, oh, wouldn't it be nice if I was the Hulk so I could go beat up the robbers so I can be strong.

And, like, that's like a little bit of lucid dreaming. But if you are really going to control the dream, then you can kind of control everything. Uh, so it's not just I become the Hulk, but you can kind of change, like, you know, the layout of the ground or something.

You can control what's going to happen next. And, uh, I think, uh, for me, there was a, probably a good amount of time in my life where I could control my dreams. And, uh, it's not that I really, really wanted to control them.

It's like sometimes I could control it and sometimes I couldn't. And, uh, it's also something that my roommate in high school kind of was, like, researching. So I also, like, heard a little bit about it from him.

Uh, so of course he knows more about it, but I got to hear about it without putting in the work to really read a lot of things about it. And, uh, so lucid dreaming, which is what it's called. Um, I have no idea what it's called in Japanese.

I've never talked about lucid dreaming in Japanese. Uh, but lucid dreaming is, um, it's supposed to be easier if, uh, you like really tell yourself that you want to control the dream. So you can feel free to try this.

Um, and I don't think you really lose anything from trying. Uh, but as you fall asleep, you want like the last thoughts in your mind to be just like the feeling of like controlling the dream. Like I want to control the dream.

And it really depends on the person, but some people will like say in their mind, like back, back and forth, back and forth. They just keep repeating in their mind. I'm going to control this dream.

I'm going to control this dream or something. And then like inside the dream, maybe they actually say that a little bit and then they remember, and then they realize it's a dream. And then after you realize it's dream, then you're like, oh, well, maybe I can do stuff.

And for me, I think that's, I think it kind of occurred naturally as a kid. But then also after I like tried doing some of those things, I was able to control a little bit. And when you control the dream, you can kind of do whatever you want.

Uh, I would recommend like if you've never, I guess no one in real life has ever been like flying, but I have in dreams. And I think that's, that's really wonderful. Like you kind of fly, you do cool stuff.

And in the end, the dreams are just kind of like you get to experience your own imagination. Uh, so in the lucid dream, I think a lot of what happens is just, it's kind of whatever you imagine. So if you're like, oh, I can control the stream and you do these things, then you experience it.

Um, but to me, uh, I don't know. I think I did it for a long time. And I also realized that if I did it too much, I actually would wake up the next morning feeling a little bit tired.

Maybe because I didn't really sleep that well. And, uh, I think, uh, for me personally, it's because the lucid dream, uh, it ends up just being like, kind of like imagining things and then also really imagining it and feeling it. Um, but it's still just imagination and it feels kind of like, I don't know, kind of like the magic of a dream is like you're experiencing things in life and in life you can't control things.

Uh, but then in the lucid dream, because everything is kind of just like your thoughts, then it feels a bit more like imagination. You're not really experiencing it. So like, even when I fly, it's kind of like, oh wow.

Like I feel the wind on my face and I can fly really high up of the ground and I see like these trees. I see the little people because they're so far away. Uh, but also I can imagine that when I'm awake and like the feeling of the dream, like sometimes there's things that I forget to imagine and it appears in the dream, but also it's not that far.

So anyways, uh, that's the little section about lucid dreaming. So actually, um, we're not going to take a break. I'm going to go straight into the next part.

Uh, and the next part is just going to be talking about the other kind of dream. Um, and I want to talk about my answer that I've given in my life to this question. And it's yet again, it's like a very, I guess it's very personal, not meaning like it's very secret.

Oh, I feel really sensitive about it, but it's just personal because it's like, oh, it's about me. It's nothing to do with like language learning stuff. And, uh, so I want to talk about like my dream as a kid.

And this was such a big dream of mine. Like I really, really wanted to do this. And, uh, so what happened was I think people would ask me, hey, Chris, as when I was a kid.

So probably when I was like, I don't know, five or six years old or something, they'd ask me, hey, Chris, what's your dream? What do you want to be when you grow up? And then I was like, I want to be a pizza man. I think people were kind of like, oh, that's funny. That's cute.

Uh, it's cute because it's like, it's not a job that makes a lot of money, but it's, it's like specific enough that it's like, oh, I bet the kid actually really wants to be a pizza man. Um, I've never heard another kid give that answer. Uh, but I remember exactly where this feeling came from.

And that's because as a kid, like my mom would take me shopping at a supermarket called Genuardi's. You don't have to remember Genuardi's. It's just the name of some supermarket.

And then there, my mom would like, you know, buy some stuff. I don't know what she buys. She buys like adult things for like cooking or whatever.

And then what I do is I just stay near the pizza area. So there's the pizza area of the supermarket place. And I don't mean like the frozen pizza.

It's not like pizza that you buy and you make at home. It's pizza that's already made. It's kind of like a small pizza store that's attached to the grocery store.

And then there they have like a bunch of pizzas on display. They've got cheese pizza. They've got pepperoni pizza.

And then they have pizza with vegetables. And I don't like vegetables. Or not as a kid.

I didn't, like I always thought it kind of ruined the taste and I didn't like vegetables. So basically there's cheese pizza. There's pepperoni pizza.

And there's other flavors that I don't care about. And then that, oh man, thinking about this, like it was so long ago but I still remember that pizza was like wonderful. Well, I just like any pizza.

Like I had no standards. No standards meaning like I didn't have a certain level that it had to be. Like I was just okay with any pizza.

And not only that but like there's a guy who like makes the pizza. The guy who makes the pizza. And then he like, you know, cooks the pizza.

And then he sells the pizza. And I wanted to be that guy. So what I really, really meant when I said I want to be a pizza man is I want to be the guy that works at the pizza section at Genuardi's.

Like that was my dream. And not only that but I think eventually my mom was kind of like, okay, so you want to be a pizza man? All right. But I thought you said you wanted to be Batman.

And that was also true because I wanted to be Batman. And as a kid, like I would dress up as Batman for Halloween and Batman's a superhero. He's cool.

He's strong. And he's smart but I didn't care about that as a kid. I just wanted to be strong, like, you know, really strong and has lots of muscles and stuff like that.

And then so eventually I don't really know if this was like something that I came up with myself or maybe my mom said it. But eventually the dream changed. So at first I said I want to be a pizza man.

But then my mom was like, oh, well, what about Batman? I thought you said you wanted to be strong. And I was like, yeah, I'll just do both. So I want to be a macho, macho man and a pizza man.

So macho man meaning like I'm a really strong guy. And I also want to be a pizza man, meaning I'm the guy that works at Genuardi's that makes pizza. So that was like my dream.

Like probably I think I was like, I don't know, maybe six years old. It's definitely before I was eight years old, because at that point we moved away from the area with Genuardi's. So now let me tell you about the next phase.

So I'm going to fast forward a little bit. So now let's talk about middle school. So this is middle school.

And I remember it was kind of embarrassing. But so this is when I was, I think, 12 years old. We were in orchestra class.

And orchestra class is like, for example, if you're like playing violin or you play cello or something, or basically any kind of viola or double bass, these kinds of like stringed instruments, then it's an orchestra class. And in orchestra class one day, there was, I don't know why, but like the teacher gave everyone like a card. And it was like, everyone write your dream on here.

Like what do you want to be when you grow up? What is your dream? And then a lot of people like put stuff that I had no interest in. For example, someone was like, I want to become a rapper. Like someone's like, oh, I want to become a dancer.

And like as a kid, I had no interest in these kinds of things. I didn't even listen to music as a kid. And I also didn't dance as a kid either.

So then like what I wrote is I want to become a doctor. And that's not like really my dream, I think. It's probably some influence of like my parents telling me like, oh, you got to become a doctor.

You got to grow up and you got to like, you know, make lots of money. And then like money equals happiness. So I probably wrote that.

And then I remember there was this one girl named Jessica. And Jessica, I mean, she was a pretty cool girl, I think. But I remember like we were like passing, like everyone pass the cards to the next person on your right or something.

And then like, then you pass it to the end and the teacher is going to collect it. And so I passed it to Jessica. And then Jessica read my card and it's like, oh, I want to become a doctor.

And she's like, you want to become a doctor? And I think the way she said it was kind of like, oh, you want to become a doctor? That's kind of lame or, oh, that's embarrassing or something like that. And maybe she didn't really mean it that way. But the most important part is I took it that way because I don't really talk to Jessica because I thought she thought that I was a loser.

So like when she said, oh, you want to become a doctor? Then I was thinking like, oh, that's I guess that's embarrassing. So then I think the doctor dream kind of like faded pretty quickly. Like I always just told people whatever.

I didn't really have a dream, I think, as a kid. And then so like even then when I said I want to become a doctor, I didn't really want to become a doctor. It's just like, oh, it seems maybe I just wanted to be rich or I wanted to be what my parents told me I should be.

And then now let's go and fast forward. So let's again, you know, that was like when I was 12. Now let's fast forward to when I was probably like 18 or so.

So when you're 18 or 19, you're about to go into college. And then when you go to college, you've got to choose a major. Right. 

So Senkou, you've got to choose a major. And I picked chemical engineering at first because, you know, that's what my dad did. And I like, I don't know, I was good at chemistry.

So whatever, let's just do it. But again, you know, that's not really a dream. It's kind of like you have to pick one.

So it's like easier if you say that's your dream. So then in my college essays, I would write about, oh, I've always wanted to be a chemical engineer. It's a lie. 

I didn't actually want to be a chemical engineer. I didn't always want to be one either because I wanted to be a pizza man. I wanted to be a doctor.

And then I wanted to be a chemical engineer only so that I can go to college and I have a higher chance of getting into the college. But I would lie in the essay and say, I want to be a chemical engineer. I love chemistry. 

I love engineering. This is the thing that I was born to do. I was born to be a chemical engineer at, and in the name of the college that I was applying to.

So, you know, if I'm applying to a college like I was born to be a chemical engineer at A college, it's my dream. And then at the same time, I send another application to a different college to be college. And I say, oh, at B college to become a chemical engineer is my dream.

It's the one thing that I want. I love B college more than any other college. And it's like that's the process of writing college essays. 

Right. So technically, I did say that my dream was to become a chemical engineer and all that. And then also, again, fast forward a couple of years.

So after two more years in college, I actually ended up changing my major. So I used to be a chemical engineering major. And then I changed. 

I hope this conversation is like, you know, easy to understand or like not too hard to understand. But the chemical engineering, you don't have to really know what chemical engineering is. It's just like, you know, what I said I would major in.

And then after that, I decided, oh, I want to change to become a computer science major. Or actually, it was called electrical engineering and computer science. It's EECS for short, but just something to do with computer science.

And then so I applied to change to that major. And so yet again, in that essay, then I say, oh, it's been my dream to study electrical engineering and computer science. This is my destiny. 

This is what I meant to do. And, you know, did I really think that? I don't know. Not really.

But it's good to say that in the essay. It's good to kind of lie about that. So then that's like been that process.

And then after that, I think my dream didn't really change that much. Or, well, I guess maybe that dream wasn't even really a dream. But then, you know, I worked at Google and stuff.

And then now let me give my final answer of my dream. And it's just, I don't know, I want to leave behind something on this world that leaves a good impact on people. And so that's this podcast.

OK, so maybe that's a good point to end this episode. We talked about dreams. So remember dreams.

There's like two meanings to dreams. There's dreams that you see when you sleep. And then there are dreams that are like, oh, these are your goals in life.

And then I gave you all these stories about being a kid. And then also now I think I think I don't know for sure. The more that I live life, the more that I think I'm not really sure.

But I'm pretty sure that my dream is to leave behind something to create something that leaves a positive impact on the world. And that is this podcast right now. So thank you so much for listening to the end of this podcast.

And if you're supporting me already, thank you so much. If you want to support me, you know, feel free to share the podcast and help me help other people with this podcast. And that's all I really want from it.

And with that, I guess we'll see you next week, hopefully on Tuesday on Kuli English Podcast.