Part 2. Loving Without Fixing: Chris Patton on Parenting Adult Children

Loving Without Fixing: Chris Patton on Adult Children, Grace, and Who Pastors the Pastor

In part two of my conversation with Chris Patton, senior pastor of Southside Church, we explore what happens when parenting enters a season the church does not always talk about.

The church offers plenty of guidance for raising children, but what happens when those children become adults and begin making decisions we would not choose for them? Chris and I discuss how parents can remain loving, supportive, and present without trying to control or continually change their adult children.

We also examine why love can so easily become an effort to fix someone. What does it look like to maintain a meaningful relationship with a child, family member, or friend whose beliefs, lifestyle, or choices differ from our own? And what does it look like when the church handles those relationships with genuine grace rather than judgment?

Finally, we turn the conversation toward Chris himself. Pastors are often contacted during the most painful and desperate moments of people’s lives. They hear the difficult stories, carry the emotional weight, and are frequently expected to have answers that no human being could possibly have.

So who encourages the pastor? Who listens when the pastor is hurting? Who fills his bucket when so much of his life is spent pouring into everyone else?

In this episode:

• Parenting after children become adults
• Loving someone without trying to control them
• Why love often turns into an attempt to change people
• Staying connected when someone chooses a different path
• What grace looks like in real relationships
• What the church gets right and wrong about loving people
• The emotional weight carried by pastors
• Who pastors, encourages, and supports the pastor

This is part two of my conversation with Chris Patton.

You can find me as David Monsour a.k.a. Disco Davo on most social media applications as well as my contact 
davidmonsour.com.

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:20

Yeah. Well uh let's go into really a big topic that I wanted to talk about, and that was families. I I had a conversation with somebody else, a good friend that's also a family therapist about our relationships with our parents as we get older. So we're gonna flip it to now that we're we're adults and maybe we have adult children. Yeah. And without getting into specifics of any of the behaviors or anything, what does that look like? I guess I wrote it down. I hate to read it, but I wrote it down and it it it I think it comes across better if I read it how it did. It said the church teaches parents about raising children, but when the children become the adults and the children might not be following the path that we chose for them, yeah, how do we still love them?

SPEAKER_03 1:11

Yeah, and also when it it can be public.

SPEAKER_00 1:15

And how do we love them publicly? Right. Not just love them publicly, but when they're public with theirs, and it's a reflection on our beliefs, and right.

SPEAKER_03 1:24

Yeah, that's where I wish. I got plenty of examples in my family. Yeah, no, no, no. Well, I would that's why sometimes I wish I could be a pastor in the 1900s or whatever, like early on, because there wasn't any, you know, you had to call one of my favorite movies is River Runs Through It. And you know, we got dad's a pastor with two sons. So we've got two sons, our 25, 28, love our son so much. And you know, David, we both, you and I, we didn't do what our parents wanted us to do, right? So for us to be shocked about it, it it shouldn't be shocking when they don't necessarily follow the path that we had for them. Sometimes it's a career path, sometimes it's whether it's following Jesus or if it's you know making decisions outside of our value system. So I believe, and I want to highly recommend a great book by Jim Burns called Parenting Your Adult Kids. It really gets into how our role changes and that we really do become more like a mentor coach to them. And the the the relationship just changes, but I don't agree when it needs to be the case where people will ostracize their kids whenever their behavior is now. Maybe there's times for that. I can't say totally that there may be times that you you you need to just say, look, get out, go away. I I'm not gonna I don't know what those and draw boundaries. Sure. Maybe there's some things, yeah, exactly. Guardrails, boundaries, if it gets abusive or if it gets harmful, whatever, for for sure. But people have have also said to me, like, we just love the way you and Jenny love your your boys, you know, all that. And and I I know some of it that that what they're speaking to is that well, they see all the you know, tattoos, or they see all the things this, that, or maybe the language or whatever and things. And you know, I of course I'm not like condoning and I'm gonna repost and put all the things out there and all that, but I'm gonna love them. And we we pray together, their hearts are are huge and massive, and conversations we have. I mean, like our younger son Wyatt, who's who's now in the prosthetics industry, he his ministry is incredible. He loves on patients, he hugs on patients as he's fitted.

SPEAKER_00 3:26

He's got an incredible TikTok. If you haven't followed him, if you if you if you're I don't know, I I don't know anything about prosthetics, but I follow what he does. He does lots of great videos.

SPEAKER_03 3:35

Wix is in a different lane with he's he's an entertainer and he's he's uh about to totally different TikTok. Yeah, he he's auditioning with the WWE and and doing some different things. Yeah, he does music. Yeah, exactly. Gotten into working out, works at the gym, but yeah, why at and and what he's doing. So we we love our our sons, nothing will ever change that. Absolutely nothing, no matter where they go, what they do, how the things. And of course, I don't want to do some of the things I do, David. I don't want some of my I don't want my sons to do or you know, some of the things, but same for my parents. And I just think that we need to, as that book talks about, uh sometimes close our mouth, put out the welcome mat, and say, come on in and just have a relationship, keep the relationship because like I said earlier, we're building that bridge of a relationship. Our kids, even though they're adults, they're they're still young in a lot of ways, just like we were in in those you know, teens or twenties or whatever, 30s, and they're making decisions, and we're trying to help shape them, but they're also adults, they're gonna make their own decisions. And so I want to reflect our Heavenly Father, the prodigal son story. That is not just about the prodigal son, it's also about the brother and how he handled things, but really it's about the father who displayed. I mean, it's a it's a made-up story, you know, parable that Jesus made up to share a story about how a loving father welcomes back the good and the bad. And I think that's the way we we need to be. Is it easy? Absolutely not. Do we wish it weren't public? Absolutely. But it it is what it is, and it's just something to navigate, attention to manage, and we don't always get it right for sure. And a lot of things internally in our hearts that and I'm not talking about my sons, but just for anybody. I know for parents, we love our kids, we want them to do what they should do. But when when sin enters the picture or the fallen world, it breaks our hearts and we want what's best for them. But sometimes that that you know isn't the case. And so, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 5:35

And I and I've had somebody No, you nailed that. I had somebody outside of the church that that mentioned, they brought it to me and they said, I think that's pretty awesome that being the leader at Southside, he still loves on both of his children equally and publicly, like that you show that you still have a great relationship with your kids and that you still love them. And and the reason I wanted to talk about it is is my own agenda, and I'm gonna ask you your opinion on this. We talked about this in our little men's breakfast was you know, witnessing, if you will, or I'm just to the belief that I believe that the best witness is somebody that just loves everybody. I don't have to tell you you are wrong for this or that or your sexuality or your language or your drinking. If I am living a great life, if I am friendly and happy, people are gonna be attracted to me and they're gonna want to know what are you doing that's right. Right. I don't and and at no point, and to me, in my opinion, I don't ever have to tell my son, cousin, nephew, daughter that her choices are wrong. Yeah. Because she should know just well based on what I believe in.

SPEAKER_01 6:54

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 6:55

And so therefore, if I'm if I'm ugly and judging people, then why would she want any part of that? Yeah. So she's gonna continue that lifestyle. But if she sees me as somebody that loves everybody, then maybe she would go, yeah, man, that I want that.

SPEAKER_01 7:07

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 7:07

Because that guy's happy all the time and loves everybody. And look how many people love him.

SPEAKER_03 7:10

That's right. Yeah. And so I don't know. Jesus was a great model for us, but at the same time, we're not Jesus. Uh, we have Jesus in in us, but the context for his ministry, you know, is different than than ours in in a lot of ways. In that, uh, going back to what I said earlier is that I do believe that approach and what topics and things that we address, the relationship's very important. And I think a lot of times we go after someone that is in in whatever sin, whatever category that you want to place it, and go after that because we feel like that they need to know that. Whereas it's so interesting as a person that's just dealt with my weight over time, I've never talked to anyone that is overweight or whatever about how gluttonous they are.

SPEAKER_02 7:56

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 7:56

But when you see these other things go, like a maybe even preachers for that matter, we'll talk about everything else except for our own stuff, right? So so I think that's very true. Yeah, and so I think that building a relationship, and and we want to we need to share all truth and but to your point. I do building relationships with people and sharing the gospel. We need to share truth, but we also need to look at different topics and issues and things that we address. When is the time that we should talk about that? And I guarantee you, a lot of times they will ask you, like, so where do you fall out on this? I'm curious as to what you feel like. And you say, well, here's what I believe scripture teaches about it. You may not agree with it on this issue, whatever it may be, but can we still keep talking? Yeah. Can we still keep a relationship? Can we still have a conversation? Nothing should keep us from breaking relationship. Just like we talked about with our kids. Well, someone who's not a Christian or believes something different than us, it should not break the relationship. But unfortunately, that's the that's the way we are. And I think it's because of we've let the news and we've let a lot of politics and things that are are necessary, but they shape and form uh our approach to people when we feel like that they need to clean their lives up before coming to Jesus, or they need to know this truth that the scripture says, and we're we need to you need to see my point on this. We don't get in the shower, we don't clean up before we get in the shower, nor do we need to clean up before we come to Jesus. We come to Jesus with all that we have, and we may not believe everything that we, you know, all the dots are going to align. It's messy, but Jesus got into messes with people. And so yeah, I don't know if that is where what you were talking about.

SPEAKER_00 9:36

It is, and and Andy had a great message, and I've not been able to find that I've actually searched on sexuality and he talked, was talking to the parents, and he kind of said the same thing. He was like, he's like, you breaking that relationship and never speaking to your child again, is that does that resolve it? Did that is that the end goal? Is that worth it? Is that the best approach? Like, what why would you not love on them so that you can stay connected and keep the discussions? And just I love this whole thing.

SPEAKER_03 10:05

With our our kids, and and I've seen it modeled really well with other parents as well. Any topic, you you're going to sit down with them and say, hey, here's what scripture says. What do you think that it says? Here's what you know, helping them navigate for themselves the the scriptures and truth. But if they are gonna say, I don't believe this, I believe because I maybe want to go chase after something or go do something that's not it, it all we can do is what we can do, and then leave the rest of God and the Holy Spirit to convict them and to draw people back, and myself included, right? I mean, to all of us to to draw us back to Him. And and so there that's just why we we need to do what we can do. But I you know, trying to force something with extreme measures, I don't believe again, not not all topics are the same. But when it comes to the the sexuality thing, you know, we we've yeah, it's a bigger topic to talk about for sure and to dive into. But I think that it there's that one and and others as well that when it comes to parenting, that we want to just love well, give truth when you need to give truth. But then there's then what? You've done those things, then what? Well, we also need to help people navigate the then what. Yeah, I love that. It's messy and it it can look different for different things.

SPEAKER_00 11:27

Yeah, I agree. I I think I think they should know how you feel or what you believe, but that shouldn't be what you lead with. Yeah. You should be able to do that.

SPEAKER_03 11:34

Are you gonna come back and talk about it at some point? You probably so, and you and you will. But what it the statement that you've probably heard, so many people have heard before, is people don't know about what you they don't care about what you know until they know how much you care. Yeah it really it really is that that's why you don't lead with the thing, the the sin in their life, neither do I want to lead with the sin in my life.

SPEAKER_00 11:56

Yeah. And I mean you want to leave with that. That's what this the whole topic of this podcast is. Be known for what you're for.

SPEAKER_03 12:01

Yeah, exactly. And that and and that we say that often is is just to remind people that God is for them. Now, he's not for all behaviors, right? But God is for us. John 3 16, for God so loved the world. God is for us, he's not against us. People think they get in their minds, well, God's just against me because I had and people, gosh, we we navigate with you know, children that die, pass away from, you know, we've got you know, I had some that have had cancers and different things, and and they ask me a question why, and I can't give a satisfactory answer, you know. But terri tragic things happen, and I get where people can get angry and upset with God, which God is big enough to take that. He he created us, he can take our anger, he can take all those things. He loves us anyway. Again, the prodigal dad, come on back. But as we navigate those things, he's big enough to handle our questions and and all that.

SPEAKER_00 12:49

I love that. I think there's a Bible verse I don't know, but uh it's been said to me that God says it's okay to have questions, so it's okay to to to not believe everything. Here's why you've come here.

SPEAKER_03 13:04

Which I'm I'm kind of glad we can't. If we can put it all together and know everything, then we would go, oh, it's nothing else to know and learn. Yeah, some of it is mysterious that I'd believe in. People say, Well, I'll get to know when I get to heaven. Maybe.

SPEAKER_01 13:14

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 13:14

I mean, maybe, maybe we get to know all the answers we ever needed to know. I I don't know. But yeah.

SPEAKER_00 13:20

All right, I got two more questions. Let's see. This is my big one. This is my finishing question, but I got another one that I want to answer. So, what is Southside equivocally for today?

SPEAKER_03 13:33

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 13:33

What would you say the church is equivocally? This is what we're for.

SPEAKER_03 13:37

The Great Commission, Matthew 28, to go and make disciples and baptize those who have followed him. And really, that's we want to reach the nations, we want to reach our backyard to everywhere around the world with again going to that whole idea of how what's our best approach to do that? What is the most strategic? I think one of the things you we've we've talked about earlier, not today, but before, is how much of a business that we may be as a church. And you do need to run things well as a business, but we also need to think about how do we need to be strategic to reach our community. Is it best to have a float in the Fourth of July PCC parade? We did this year, and it went great. It was awesome. It was awesome.

SPEAKER_00 14:17

Yeah, it was really awesome.

SPEAKER_03 14:18

We partner with schools by helping them. A lot of people don't know this, but in our school system, at Pett County, at least anyway, the the courtyard inside of an elementary school, the school system doesn't clean that up. So we go in and clean those up for the schools. We will pay off the kids who are on free and reduced lunch. That's some part of our Be Rich that we do every year, right? Which Be Rich is a campaign to give, serve, love, and to give as much as we can. We give 100% of the way to love people randomly, to serve in the nonprofits that are doing things. I mean, we we we partner with some incredible nonprofits like Real Life Center, like uh I-58, two small coins, all the all the different uh organizations that we get to partner with. And so that what we want to be known for is that we're for our community and that when the community sees the church, they see Jesus, they don't just see what that we're for ourselves, but that we want to be, you know, give away as much as possible and come alongside those in our community, whether they're Christian-based, faith-based, or not, to say we're here to be for you. And that that's something that I think if if we can be known for that. A question that that get gets asked a lot of church leaders, I think it's a really big question to answer. If your church went away tomorrow, would anyone notice?

SPEAKER_00 15:30

I was I was actually gonna ask that. Like who in the community would notice if your church doesn't hear?

SPEAKER_03 15:35

I hope so. But that all I can do is, and and and I don't want, you know, I've learned people aren't loyal to to Southside or to Chris Patton or anything. They shouldn't be, you know, I mean it they're gonna do their own journey and they won't be loyal to Jesus. Is but I do want us to to have such an impact, not for our glory, not it's it's all for his glory, but to do what we do. But then, and it goes to how we do funeral services, to how we do community events, to how we do events. We're trying to do as many events as we can in our in our building so they don't just sit there during the week and not just on Sundays. I mean, our our our uh Southside Center over in Fettville is a great example of that. We we named it Southside Center and not Southside Church. And the reason for that is so that the community would know that we're for them. They'll find out eventually maybe that we're a church, but that's the reason for that, is to make a statement that we're for the community. And yeah.

SPEAKER_00 16:24

I love Tony over there. All right, so next question When's Jesus coming back?

SPEAKER_03 16:32

Well, I get asked that from time to time. Do I think it's soon? I'm not suicidal, but I wouldn't mind. Again, everybody see the world, things that are going on, it's just it's hard, it's so tough. And so I'm like, it are some of the things lining possibly, and and you know, Jesus told us not to predict it, but just to get ready and to help others get ready. So I don't know.

SPEAKER_00 16:55

I feel like it's gotta get a lot worse. Like, this isn't maybe I'm spoiled. Like, based on what I've hear of supposed to happen in the whole, you gotta have a whole antichrist first.

SPEAKER_03 17:08

Well, there's so many different interpretations, and people they're uh hermeneutics and how they break down the word is basically just biblical interpretation principles that have what's figurative, what's literal in in Revelation, what in Matthew 24 and Daniel. And some of that stuff is we is hard to know for sure. And people put, this is the time, you know, and we don't need to do that.

SPEAKER_02 17:28

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 17:28

So yeah, I maybe, maybe so. I I think the the bigger concern is just that how are we preparing ourselves and how are we preparing our neighbors, the community, our world, that the hope of the world is not in the things that we want to put the hope in. It is in our Savior, Jesus, for for Jesus followers.

SPEAKER_00 17:48

That was supposed to be a joke, like, and you laugh and you you clearly must get that question alive. No, it's like Google, like my mom tells me he's coming back anytime. That's just where I'm like early.

SPEAKER_03 17:58

Like I said, just because of just how difficult things are these days with just trying to do what we do and and being in ministry is tough. You know, it really is. There's a lot that goes with it. There's a lot of difficult jobs out there and careers and past. But no, like I said, I say if that's the if that's the point, and then we're you know.

SPEAKER_00 18:16

Well, uh last question, I'll close with this is I can't imagine, and I don't think any of us know all the things that you do as a senior pastor, from counseling to funerals to managing complaints and to managing people and making sure everything's on track. And again, the the divorces and the marriages and the baptisms and the funerals and the just nonstop phone calls and messages, I just can't imagine. Who fills your bucket?

SPEAKER_03 18:51

Yeah, so I have a mentor coach that we met at a pastor's breakfast maybe 12, 15 years ago. And ironically, this coming Sunday is his last Sunday, he's Gary Franklin, and he's at Grace Church over in Fettville. And he and I have been meeting twice a month for all these years, and I would not, I'm gonna say it Sunday at the church, he's I got the privilege of sharing some. I wouldn't still be in ministry if it weren't for him, and if it weren't for layers of people we have in our constitution a what's called a pastor's accountability team, and that team of of people is who will ask me the tough questions and knows everything about me, and and I want to have that layer. And I would say the people too out there that a lot of people haven't heard of, Steve Cuss, Mary, Ruth Haley Barton, um, Henry Nowen, who's actually a Catholic priest, there's many others that have written John Old Burke on soul care. And what Gary has helped me with is truly how to live in a with a non-anxious presence because it's so difficult, especially in these days, to live. And I want to bring to our our staff, to our churches, as much as possible a non-anxious presence, because even do what we do and we get put on a in a fishbowl and a pedestal and all that kind of stuff. And again, broken people trying to help broken people, is trying to manage the stress, trying to manage the anxiety, trying to manage the things. We've got an incredible team. Many pastors don't have a big team and they're carrying a heavy weight, a heavy jacket with it. And so I would just share pray for your pastors and your leaders, love on them, ask how they're doing, not just here's all my things, or here's what we need, here's what you said and didn't say. That's that's we want feedback, of course, but we also just need prayers and love and and nonprofit leaders as well, and and all that. So it's it's thanks for for asking that question. And and it's uh making sure that I and my mentor tells me this is that it he doesn't like to call it private disciplines as much as a spiritual rhythm of life. Okay, to where I'm factoring in, not just taking sabbaticals or time off, but it's a weekly thing. And it and right now it's tough. I mean, we're we're you know, we're looking for a lead pastor for our Peace Bree City location, so I'm leading that as well as doing my south side uh senior pastor roles, and we're we're starting to transition, move to more.

SPEAKER_00 21:04

I'll interview for it if you like.

SPEAKER_03 21:06

I'm all right, we'll we'll do that uh once we start to do that next time. Is is uh we are moving to some more live teaching as we move into the future, and we we'll probably have an option of broadcast live, all those different things, but we're making some transitions and changes with it, and so our roles are changing than what we were originally hired to do, you know, which I'm excited about. I'm so excited about our next 20 to 30 years and what God has in store for us. And but yeah that's awesome.

SPEAKER_00 21:28

You give such a long time frame. So that's yeah.

SPEAKER_03 21:31

So that that's uh that's really what what fills me is making sure, and Jenny and I just make sure that we get the date nights and the times together, and you know that we're poured into each other and uh have great friends that that make sure that we do uh that as well.

SPEAKER_00 21:45

So but yeah, join a small group and speaking to everybody out there, so take these words and if if you don't have a complaint this Sunday, take the opportunity to walk up to anybody in the church that's serving pastors, the leader of the music on the Sunday that you don't have a complaint, walk up and tell them how good they're doing. Yeah, that's right.

SPEAKER_03 22:03

And I didn't get hit on this, but thank you, David, for serving, for volunteering, not just the Southside, but for all of our volunteers. Our church, if you were if you were to ask, what our really what our role is as ministers or pastors is to equip the saints to do the work of the ministry, is to equip you to do the the ministry. And and you do it so well. And so for all our Volunteers at all of our churches in our community, thank you for serving. Uh, it means so much. You know, we we love that people will help fund the mission, but to serve and come alongside, and as you know, our what love our strategy when it comes to children's student ministries is putting that other layer of influence. One of one of our mutual friends, Michael Campbell, and he and three others were small group leaders for my oldest son, Wix, for six years. Every day for six years, he texted that group uh scripture. It was probably some kind of app, but but did that, and they they had 25 Macintosh high school seniors in that 12th grade small group. Wow. And Wicks never called it transit or inside out. He and hook both my boys called it small group because it was the power of those influences in their lives. Because there were times that he didn't want to talk to me or they don't want to talk to me about things, but I'd say, Well, you talk to your small group leaders, and they're like, Yeah, I'll do that.

SPEAKER_00 23:17

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 23:17

So that strategy.

SPEAKER_00 23:18

Some experience in that with Max.

SPEAKER_03 23:20

Yeah, that strategy is why we do what we do at Southside. I hope you know other churches do as well, is to create that other layer to partner with parents, is what we call it.

SPEAKER_01 23:29

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 23:29

Because we only get so much time at church with them, and we want to have those adult, adult and student leaders who invest in them. And then hopefully with parents, we they know that they've got us to lean into as well.

SPEAKER_00 23:40

So well, and I'll encourage anybody out there. I went to two small, two small groups and basically gave up on them because I just didn't connect in love. Sure. And I was like, I guess it's just for marriage.

SPEAKER_03 23:50

You get a bad haircut, you get a bad diagress, you don't stop. And I'm glad I didn't give up. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 23:54

So I I kept and I kept every year I kept and I'd get assigned to a new one. And finally now I'm part of like three. Yeah. And I feel like the weirdo that goes to all these small groups. But a lot, I just love the people that I'm around.

SPEAKER_03 24:05

Yeah, no, that is that's really church. Yeah. That's really church. I mean, one of the best church things I've ever been to to go celebrate someone's anniversary is AA. It's church. Yeah. You know, small group is church. And Acts, you look through the book of Acts, it's when they gather together. The big gatherings that we have, yes, it's church, but really it's about getting together into a smaller community of believers to do life together and uh break bread together and and share life. So awesome.

SPEAKER_00 24:32

All right, well, we're way over time. The fun part I actually was supposed to do when we first started, and we jumped right into some other things, but I'm not gonna finish when I do it. So I like this. I might add this to all my podcasts. So I'm gonna ask you like a couple mortgage questions just to see if you know mortgages. So, what is the minimum down payment required on a conventional loan?

SPEAKER_03 24:53

Well, if you've got what's it called, the FHA, or if it's I would say our military maybe 10%, but for the typical consumer, 20%.

SPEAKER_00 25:06

Really? Yeah. Wow, okay, you're wrong. Okay, what is it? That's awesome because I get all these notes about people think that 20% is no. So uh on a conventional loan, you could do as little as 3%. Wow, okay. FHA is 3.5% down, VA is 100% financing. VA is what I was thinking about. Right. There's down payment assistant programs. Yeah, cool. That was good. I'm glad to ask that question. That may be old school. They changed it. That is to be well, they changed it 30 years ago.

SPEAKER_03 25:30

Okay.

SPEAKER_00 25:31

I mean, it's that was when PMI came in and they got it started doing less down payments. So what is a jumbo?

SPEAKER_03 25:40

You are going to uh get a loan for your home, but also some renovations that you need to do.

unknown 25:47

So confident.

SPEAKER_03 25:49

Also, also you've got it's a jumbo house. So the house is really bigger than what you can afford, what you should be getting. And so then they're like, okay, we got to call this something.

SPEAKER_00 25:58

Well, that's a great answer. All right, last thing this is. No, what I need to know.

SPEAKER_03 26:03

What is it?

SPEAKER_00 26:03

Oh, well, jumbo loan. So that goes back to the back when you had to put 20% down. Okay. It was a conforming conventional loan. The government decided, hey, if you follow these guidelines, we will allow you to lend more than 80%. We'll allow you to lend 95%.

SPEAKER_01 26:17

Okay.

SPEAKER_00 26:18

But we don't think people that are buying million dollar houses need this, they should be able to come up with a bigger down payment.

SPEAKER_03 26:25

Okay.

SPEAKER_00 26:25

So what the jumbo loan is, is a jumbo is above that limit that the government decides. And it changes every year. Right now, I think it's paid for it. It is. Okay. It's a so once you get into jumbo, it's all private investors. It's not insured by Fannie Mary or the government. So they get to set their rates and their guidelines that they can require different things. So it's basically for larger homes, like kind of like you said.

SPEAKER_03 26:50

Do you think that interest rates will go down to where they used to be back? No.

SPEAKER_00 26:55

Well, I hope not.

SPEAKER_03 26:56

I mean, I've got a three point.

SPEAKER_00 26:58

No. I think they'll go back to four and a half as soon as we get in financial trouble as a country, and that'll probably happen in the next five years.

SPEAKER_03 27:05

What does it mean to have a housing shortage? Like, is there really that not a homes?

SPEAKER_00 27:09

I truly don't understand that. In I'm in this business because they talk about just because they're not building as many homes, because there's just not as many builders, there's the supply. Right. It's expensive to build. They can't sell them. Right. So therefore, there's just not as many new homes. So I'm like, are we really adding that many people that we need two million more a year?

SPEAKER_03 27:31

Yeah. I'm gonna do some research on that and find out what's all I look down, you know, 74 towards Fairburn are putting up apartment complexes like this.

SPEAKER_00 27:38

Now, one thing I could say that be the answer to that is there are a lot of people that are holding large portfolios of homes. So when we kind of think that we're we're all thinking we all own one home, there's not that many. Well, there's a lot of people with 2,000 homes.

SPEAKER_03 27:52

There's a lot of investors or whatever that have I know they're supposed to travel to the lake and do the beach house and all that.

SPEAKER_00 27:59

So people are owning three or four homes, so therefore they need more because you know I've got an investment property in Fairville. Yeah. So that person doesn't own, so the person that wants to buy, I'm never selling that. So they're somebody needs to build a new house to replace that that I took out of the market.

SPEAKER_03 28:14

I talked to a person that owns a large construction company here locally the other day, and they're they're building a over 55 community that's rental.

SPEAKER_00 28:23

Yes, it's Scarborough, right?

SPEAKER_03 28:26

And he's uh it's top tree.

SPEAKER_00 28:28

Okay.

SPEAKER_03 28:29

Don't publish that. But yeah, but yeah, no, and I said, so what's the deal with that?

SPEAKER_00 28:32

Well, I think Scarborough is building an entire neighborhood for his employees. He's just gonna rent, and that's great.

SPEAKER_03 28:39

What's going over there next to the data center is part of it's gonna be an over 55 community, but rentals.

SPEAKER_00 28:44

And now all they're gonna do is rent.

SPEAKER_03 28:45

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 28:45

Well, all right. Here's some music trivia, just a couple more and we're done. All right, it's 7 o'clock. Where is Usher?

SPEAKER_03 28:53

Uh 7 o'clock. I don't know.

SPEAKER_00 28:58

He's in his drop top. Okay.

SPEAKER_03 29:00

Drop top.

SPEAKER_00 29:00

What type of shoes did Nelly want two pairs of?

SPEAKER_03 29:04

See, you're not in a two country. Yeah, no one knows this. All right. David, I need some rush. I need some Van Halen. Oh my goodness. You're giving me some of these that are like these 90s and 2000s that I didn't, you know, that wasn't wasn't my jams.

SPEAKER_00 29:18

Oh man. Well, I don't know if I have any. Chris Stapleton says you're as smooth as silk.

SPEAKER_03 29:23

I don't mean it.

SPEAKER_00 29:25

That's good, I guess. Tenant TLC says don't go chasing.

SPEAKER_03 29:29

Waterfalls.

SPEAKER_00 29:30

Perfect aye. We'll end on that. Thank you so much. Thank you. Very few people get these right, and I'm kind of surprised. I need to get a better one.

SPEAKER_03 29:39

You gotta get me the age appropriate. You know what I mean? Like I'm gonna get a better match. The 80s, and you know what I mean? Because I tell a story about how my mom wouldn't let me go to Def Leopard, ACDC, which she shouldn't have, but then you know, and then my buddy even brought me back the the shirt from it that was the baseball cutoff yet. Oh, I love it. And then she wouldn't let me wear it to school.

SPEAKER_00 29:56

Yeah, my first concert was Cinderella, my second was Kiss.

SPEAKER_03 30:00

Jenny got to see Michael Jackson three times.

SPEAKER_00 30:03

No. So I never saw Michael Jackson Prince or the Beastie Boys, and that's like my top three uh regrets.

SPEAKER_03 30:10

So quick story the guy that started Zaxby's, Zach, he opened up or opened up the first one down in Statesboro and was living across the street, like at a condemned apartment complex, fixing it up. And this lady comes by and says, Hey, you know, you you own this place? She's like, he goes, Yeah, you want a job? So she starts working there, and after about a year and a half, she was traveling up to Atlanta and she's like, Hey, I think I'm gonna have to quit. I want to go all in this music thing, and it was uh one of the salt and pepper. Really? Was Zach from Zaxby's first employee.

SPEAKER_00 30:42

Salt and pepper's from New York. You mean TLC, maybe? Salt and pepper? I thought they were from New York. That's funny. That's awesome.

SPEAKER_01 30:50

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 30:50

They left their mark, too. All right.