Still here! The story of three great friendships over a lifetime

Three women who have known each other since before life got complicated are finally sitting down to tell the whole story. From their earliest days together through marriages, children, careers, loss, reinvention, and now grandchildren -- they have been witnesses to each other's entire lives. That kind of friendship does not happen by accident. It happens by choice, over and over again, across forty years of showing up.

This episode is a conversation. Honest, warm, and sometimes funny in the way that only people who have known each other forever can be. They talk about who they were, who they became, and what it cost to get here. They talk about the moments that changed everything and the ordinary Tuesday afternoons that somehow mattered just as much.

Still Here is for anyone who has ever held onto a friendship long enough to know what it is really worth.

 Subscribe now and be part of the conversation from the very beginning.

Transcript

0:10

Yeah. Folks, thank you so much for joining the podcast today. I, as always, have so much fun doing this. You know, today's kind of special for me. Uh, I've had a lot of conversations about doing this show today and kind of looking for the right people. And I thought, wow, who better to do this show with than some incredibly talented ladies that I have grown up with. Uh, and now we've all had kids, we're on in our lives. Uh, we're in the 6-0 club or on. And those of us who think they're not are right there, aren't we? So it's just a number. It's just a number. So, anyway, today is still here, and this is all about the lives that these three ladies have spent together growing up with their kids. So, let's get to it. First, let me get them introduced. Terry? Hi, I'm Terry Kalhofer, and I am very happy to be with you, Dan and my girls. Brenda? Hi, I'm Brenda, and um I am super happy to be here and with this motley crew, and um looking forward to our conversation. So I'm uh Michelle. Hi, I'm Michelle, and um, I'm part of this uh clan for many years, and uh as you will probably hear about. You guys have no idea. This is so cool. Sitting behind the mic or looking at they cannot see each other. I can see them, and they're going, what is he gonna ask? I mean, I they're all terrified. It's like being on the bachelorette. I'm friggin' totally loving this. So we're waiting for that. Okay, here's our first question, ladies. Okay, and this is for Terry. Okay, we'll start with Terry. Let's go all the way back when the first crossing of the three you were together. What was it about that moment or that season in your life, okay, that made this friendship take root the way it did. Oh boy. If you have drinks at home, you probably should get them. Go ahead. Yeah. Okay, so we're my my memory is long, but it's getting, it's not as long as it used to be. Um we have to go back even further because Michelle and I met in 1983, I think is what we decided. Okay. And we were friends for a number of years before we met Brenda. Okay. So um we were all we all met. Well, Brenda came into the group at Moffat Cancer Center. So Michelle started working there first, and she got me a job there. And then uh, I believe Brenda was working in a different department. We were trying to, we were trying to remember if it was HR or anyway. Um somehow we just all, you know, Moffitt back then when it first opened, it was very each department was very social. You know, it wasn't as big of a hospital as it is now. So you ran across people quite a bit. And we did a lot of in the business office where Michelle and I were, we dealt a lot with human resources and anyway. So, you know, probably there was um some kind of night out. There was a lot of those back then. Um that we were at. Yeah, maybe a happy hour. I don't know, and it just right. It just, you know, we were very young back then, but it was we it just kind of Michelle and I had already solidified, you know, but then you know, Brenda came into the mix and it just was so natural, you know. And uh it just we just kept it going. We had a lot of fun at Moffitt in those years, and then we'll get into later, I'm sure, how it all evolved and we all kind of, yeah. Yeah, oh good. Ladies, anything else to add? Is that pretty close? That is accurate. I think we just lost Brenda, but it's okay, should we back? Yeah, yeah, it was probably many happy hours. Yeah, I'd I think that's probably over the course of it. I think that's probably a very good thought. Yeah, I can actually remember rolling into Moffat the very first time that I walked in there, and I thought, wow, this is kind of like a country club sort of deal, you know. Oh, but you should have seen it back then. It was just it was so much smaller, and everybody kind of knew everybody, sure, especially in the areas where we were. Yeah, yeah. Well, you know, it's funny in in the 80s, where you know, and I grew up and went to high school in the 70s, okay? And and doing that, I told you she'd be back. Here she is. So you're fine, yeah. So, you know, I and growing up in the 70s as a kid, you know, I share with my kids now all the time about, you know, gas 23 cents a gallon and all that kind of nonsense. Then they look at me like I've got a fifth eye, you know. And I'm like, guys, you don't understand, we didn't have cell phones early on back then. I said when we called someone, we called them and we met, and you were just out. I mean, what do you mean? You were out, you came back when you came back, you know, and uh that's exactly right. Yeah, it was very different because you, you know, you it was truly the terrified thing because all the guys were hanging around going, Well man, I wonder where the shit they are. Yeah, well, they'll be home eventually, yeah. So no tracking anybody, yeah. There's no tracking involved then. That's a fact. Thank God, right, Shell? And a girl. Yeah. 30 plus years is a long time for you guys to stay close. And I know that that sounds like this enormous number. It's not, you know. Do you ever remember one of your parents looking at you? I know I can remember my dad, like it was yesterday. I told him, I said, you know, I I can't wait until I'm 18, and I must have been like 16. And my dad looked at me, he said, Son, don't ever wish to be 18, because the next thing you know, you'll be 60. And I mean, straight, straight up, you know, absolutely straight up. And it was one of those kind of things where you just kind of went, Wow, it's true. And I look from my shoulder now, I've got a daughter who's 40. You know, happens fast. Yeah, it does. It does. Tyler's gonna be 40 soon. Yeah, I know it it it's crazy. And uh, you know, I look at the grandbabies now, and you think too, ladies, and you know, those of you who don't have them will have them shortly, I'm quite sure. I've watched him look at her and all that kind of nonsense, but yeah. But you know, the first time you pick up that grandchild, it's a different feeling. I mean, it's a totally different feeling. Um you know, it it's one of those kind of things that you just go, wow, here we are, moving the whole entire thing forward. I mean, it's it's so freaking amazing. And then from the back side of that, you go, man, as soon as I can get this kid alone, I'm gonna ruin it and hand it back. And you go, sugar and candy and soda. Oh, you can have that at Pop's house anytime, it's all good. Yeah, so what was the moment, if there was one, where it did you guys realize that this friendship was not like a flash of the pan that you guys were gonna be pals? Shell? When we would all we all supported each other no matter what, hard times, good times, like we went through you know different seasons of all of our lives, and sure we were all there for each other to to support each other along the way. Yeah, so it's about Brenda thoughts. Well, I think we shared life experience. We were all um had gone through one marriage and were single at the time we all met, and some single parents, and it was just crazy. Um you know, you just felt like she gets me, she knows she gets me, and um we all there was never any judgment about what the other one was going through. Everybody was just dropped everything, was there to support, whatever. And it was just awesome. That's how you know you're gonna be. And those kind of friends are hard to come by. Oh, they're impossible to come by. Yeah, yeah. I mean, uh I know Michelle will probably tell you if she hasn't already. My sister all the time looks at me, she goes, Well, why don't you just call Michelle since you can't talk to me? I'm only your sister. Just just call her and ask her, you know. I was like, All right, I will, because uh I value her opinion more than yours today, bitch, you know? So but you get those relationships and and and truly, Brenda, that is what melds it together. There's no judgment, everybody's life has bumps. I don't care what they are, some of them are craters, you know. Uh, speaking from a perspective of living through a few craters myself, and you know, it it doesn't matter. People are human beings, period. But it's interesting that you all had that same, I can see you all turning the wheels, and all three of you are thinking the same exact thing. But she was there for me. It didn't matter, you know. We robbed that liquor store, and I'm not telling anybody, it's all good. So okay, Van, since I'm the oldest, my memory's a little, I'm a little foggier than most, yeah, than the others, maybe. But how did you come into the picture? Because it seems like you've always been there. Oh, that's very good. That is very good. Now, this is going to be how did you come into this circle? Well, uh, let me tell you how this happened. Yeah. Uh I think I know the answer. Going to all my see if you remember. There was a girl that I was dating there. That's what I thought. Yeah, that's what I thought. And uh, she was um, I think the executive assistant to someone in a quarter office, and I I think that guy's name was Brian, I believe. Uh-huh. Brian in accounting. Yep. Yeah, and um, yeah, she um, oh yeah, that I thought that was it. I really did. I just thought that was it. And um Michelle and I just kind of clicked from there, and then I met Brenda, then I met Terry, and then one thing led to the other, and you know, we'll get down the road at the Halloween parties at Terry's in a little while, but you know, oh boy, yeah, it was it was it that's how I got there, and I I looked at I mean I fell in love, I absolutely fell in love with all three of you guys, and we literally have known each other forever, you know. Well, the funny thing is, is the girl's not in the picture anymore, but you still are. Well, I I'm loyal if I'm nothing else. You know, it's uh it's one of those kind of things, but yeah, that's that's how I got involved. You know, every really long-lasting friendship, you know, uh, life pulls you in different directions. What, you know, did the three of you think about as you're going like this to kind of keep that together? What happened when you went this way and you went that way, and Terry, you went that way? Did you guys stay in touch? Were you on the phone? Were you what were you doing? Oh gosh. Terry? Michelle, you want to get you wanna take this away? Oh go, Shell. Go. All right. Because Michelle's been constant. Terry moved away um out of state. Texas. After yep, after she got married, her and Craig. And um Oh, that's right. She married a man. Oh God. All right, go ahead. She married Craig, and um, so yeah, they were out in Dallas, and I'd go out and visit her, and she'd come home and visit. And it was it was honestly pitiful when we had to leave each other. I mean, we were like, we were ridiculous, but it was so genuine. It was really that whole scenario unfolded. We would ball our eyes out. Oh, I have to leave the show again. It was awful, it was awful. It was awful. But we would just look forward to the next time that she came home, or I'd be on the visitor. And yeah, we we always had that to look forward to. That's awesome. How long did it take you to convince Craig that you couldn't stay there anymore? You're way too far from her umbilical cord. Well, you know what? It was six months. Six months he was ready to send me home. Yeah, but he was. Oh my god. Every time we were together, and you know, it was like nothing, time stood still, you know. And you know, there was a few times I was able to see Brenda, and you know, that it wasn't until I got back that we just really solidified that. And we've all lived well, Brenda's been gone several times too. So, you know, going our different ways, it it's it's hard, but it doesn't, we always make the effort. I mean, Brenda's lived in Naples and you know, in Missouri, and you know, we've tried, you know, we've gone out to see her and um had trips, and you do what you have to because it the relationships are too important. Oh, and they're really in in my in my life, they're uh they're necessary. They are. They they truly are. And and for those of you who are listening, you know, I I always like to share different thoughts as we go through this. Relationships I talk about on almost all my podcasts. The reason it is so important is because that is what life is about. Life is not about what you have, life is not about what you can acquire. Life is about the people that live in your life. Because that's all you have. Because let me tell you, you come out naked and screaming, and you're gonna go out quiet and dead. Okay, that's how it ends. Okay, yeah, everything in between is just life. But if you don't have people that you love to have that life with, you don't have a life, and those relationships are everything. Thank you. Thank you for sharing that, guys. That's really that's really good. But I can see you two balling like a couple three-year-olds. I can so see that. Oh my lord. Okay, you've watched each other fall in love, get married, raise kids, in some cases you've done that over again. You know, what does it feel like to have people in your corner through every version of who you were as life went on? Brenda? Oh wow. Um when I think of all the times we've been things that we've been through, um gosh. That's tough. It's everything. It's absolutely everything. Because you can't do life by yourself. And and having these two women who share my faith and share my beliefs and share my life with is just everything for me. Um, you know, we've had friends, we've had a larger circle, we've had a smaller circle, they come and go, but um the three of us have the three musketeers have remained steady. Yeah. I I kind of think you've shedded all the crazies along the way, you know, the ones that kind of stick are the three of you, and the real nutcases are just out there, you know. So it's the shell that protects the three of you. What do you think? Shell, do you think she's right? Do you think that's what it is? Absolutely. Yeah, yeah, absolutely. Yeah, we you can't do life, you know, alone. And um, you you need other people's support through the even through the good times, you know. You want somebody to celebrate with, and that's right. The bad times, you need somebody, you know, there to help support you and help encourage you. So definitely done that. Yeah, I I know that um Terry and I are probably on the save wavelength with this, that when things get really, really awful, the only people you have are your real friends. I don't mean your acquaintances, I don't mean people that go, Oh, I feel so bad for you. I mean the people that will hold your head while you're throwing up and will be in that room, whether or not you're gonna come out of that room or not. Those are your real friends, and that's the difference because that's what the three you knuckleheads are. You know, you guys are all about each other, even though you know we kid each other and God knows we've gotten into some crap over the years. But the real underlying thought is if one of you guys called the other two and said, My favorite line from a movie, look, we've got something to do. You can't tell anybody about it, you can't mention it ever again, and we're gonna hurt some people. You're all three. I see you all get in the car, and there you go. You think I'm kidding, and I am I am not. We're there, yeah. In disguises. If they ever come to your door, those of you who are listening, there's a knock, and you see one of them with a shovel, you're in trouble. Uh, that's all I can tell you about. Yeah. Talk to me about the time, one of the biggest times in your life, Terry, when they just showed up and it wasn't fun and it was hard, and they were there. They were just there. Tell me about one of those times. Well, there's one big one, and it actually turns into kind of a funny, funny story. And I know these, I know girls know what I'm gonna say. So I I know it I Van, and you you went through the journey, you know, the cancer journey, as I did. And I was fairly early into it, and you know, it was hard. I had a baby, I had a little one, I had no hair, I was wearing a wig, and feeling not so great. You know, I had friends that kind of disappeared. But one evening, uh, Brenda said, you know what? Just let's come over and we're just gonna, we're gonna hang out and we're gonna have some food. And there was the three of us and a few more. And you know, I was kind of feeling down, but I said, you know what, it's good to be around friends, and I really need this. Um so Brenda had made her um her famous martinis. Yes, she did. She's holding when you can't see it, yeah. Um, you know, we sat around outside and we, you know, okay, we we got a little tipsy, but we were just a little tipsy. Right. Right, right. Trying to be a little bit trying to hold back here. It's okay. We we were the term is shit based. Yeah, go ahead. Listen, they they surrounded me with love. They surrounded me with love. And you know, just there was nothing there but the love and support of my friends. We sang, we laughed, we hugged, and it was. Is so special and meant so much to me in forever. Um, so that was probably that's just a moment I won't ever forget. Yeah. Let's just say it involved my husband calling everybody else's spouses and whatever to come and get them. I have no idea what you're talking about. Yeah. When it gets to the I love you man, it's done. It is it is done. You could be talking to someone you've never met before. Yeah, we were we were all we were all in a safe space. Yeah, we're gonna get to another story similar to that in a minute. Yeah, that's that's good times. Uh you know, for my listeners that are here. We could see now, Michelle. Yeah, we have uh Terry on one of the other podcasts. She's a stage four survivor, just like I am, and uh she's so right. You need those moments, even when the doctor says, No, you probably shouldn't drink. And I'm thinking, dude, you've been pumping chemo in me like uh Navar Falls. Okay, this is this is not possibly gonna be worse than the shit I've been doing. So, you know, but I'm with you. I'm with you, Terry. I'm so glad you're that made me cry. Yeah, yeah, that made me cry thinking about it. She's not in Texas anymore. Relax. Oh my god. You know, your kids have grown up, okay? Your kids have grown up, ladies. Uh the houses are quieter. Um, life is shifted to, you know, your younger selves that couldn't have been predicted. Now things are kind of a little bit more extreme. You've got jobs, careers, you know, houses are close to being paid for. If they're not paid for already, you know, they're out, they're all getting, yeah. What house are you talking about? Not mine. But anyway, I thought I'd throw that out there just in case someone hopes having a fantasy. Yeah. Yeah. How have each of you changed? And how has your friendship changed in the last five years? Just in the last five years. Closer, further, easier? Shall we? Definitely, I think closer. Uh and Brenda has moved back within that time. So she's, you know, closer, which has been wonderful after um back in Florida. And um for for me, things have slowed down. The kids have graduated, they're you know, out of college now, and sure. But this this darn work thing though gets in the way still. I'm trying to I'm trying to do fun crap, and I have this thing called employment. What is that all about? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I I think um if nothing else, the part from me that has been one sad, but but fun is watching mine become adults, you know, because you sit back and know that periodically you'll get a phone call and they'll go, hey, I I have a question. I'm thinking, oh shit, I don't have any money today. What do you need? Um, that's you know, they're now the questions about look, I I was thinking about investing in so and so, and I'm going, Are you feeling okay in your head? You know, because you're thinking about your future and you must be broken, you know. And you take those conversations, and let me tell you, when they happen now to me, I cry because I go, you know what? I can't believe they listened, they really hurt me. Because the only thing that I ever remember was going, you get your ass back upstairs, you're going nowhere with the boy with those on. Where are the rest of your clothes? I mean, that's where your head goes, you know? Oh, yeah. Because that's that was the reality yesterday. Well, it wasn't yesterday, it was 25 years ago. Yeah. You know, yeah. Uh, it goes too fast. Yeah, it does go fast, and it is it is neat to see them, you know, grow up. Yeah, it is what they're doing with their lives now and moving forward. It is really neat to see. Yeah, I I think parenting adult kids brings us even closer. Yep, it does. Because it's it's it was much easier when they were little and you can tell them what to do. That's right. So I you know, it's been great to have them go, oh my god, you're not gonna believe this. You know, and to commiserate with because something else. Yeah, no, I get on the phone with Shell all the time, and I won't tell you the nature of the conversations, and I just go, My God, what am I gonna do now? And I won't even go there. But you know, it's it's good to have that wall to bounce it off of because everybody who is listening right now, irregardless of what they tell you, they do not have a perfect life. Oh my god. And people will, you know, oh, things are so good at home, and it could be a complete Tasmanian devil running through their living room and they're not gonna tell you. So interesting. Oh no, we've we've seen it all and we've done it all together. What's one thing that you guys and and you get one pass? This may be your pass. What's one thing that the three of you all know that you've done that you've never shared with anybody else? Boy, if you guys could see these faces. They're trying to think. Yeah. Oh gosh. Is it rattlefish in the limo? I don't think I ever told anybody about that. I got a lot of those stuff in the vault, but I, you know. I have no doubt. Trust me. I have no doubt. We might pass on this one, baby. Fair enough. Yikes. Yikes, grandmother. If we tell you, then we'd have to kill you. Yeah, it's okay. I've I have damn near died before. It's okay. So grandmothers, moms, wives, women who have carried a lot for a long time. What does it feel like now to be on the other side of all that? And what does it mean to face it with these people beside you now? Does that make sense? You've kind of crossed the Jordan, okay? You're over there on the other side and you're looking back. You don't have as much in your backpack as you used to, or do you? Or do you? I think it's just different. It's different today. It is, but it's still a lot going on with our kids and our grown kids, and you know, everything that they're involved in. We're also at that age, we're in between. So we have grown kids, although my youngest hasn't been out of the house all that long. They always keep coming back. Um, but I'm taking care of my parents now. So, or my father anyway. So it, you know, we yes, we've raised our children, but now we become the parent to our parents. You know, it's just that's where that's where I'm at. And I know, you know, Michelle helped her dad. She helps a lot with her father, and she did with her grandfather. It's it's like we're giving up one set of you know, caregiving for another. I it's true. At least I have, at least I have. No, I'm I am so glad that you brought that up. Go ahead, Brennan. Yeah, to watch your parents get older. Please, yeah. Because it it's just it's hard. Yeah. It's my parents. Yeah. My my parents, my mom and dad, and Amy's mom and dad, Amy's mom and dad actually lived in a guest house that's on our property right next to us. Um, and I say this with all the love that you can possibly muster. Her father was an amazing guy, and I loved him to death. Um, had I known what we were getting into when we put them in the guest house, I I would have never done it. It was the most frustrating, uh, fun, uh, energetic, nauseating, explosive event every single day that I did. And I thought having kids was hard. Having adults that are kids is harder. Yeah, it is, it is, and and you feel so obligated to do that, you feel so obligated to do it. And uh, you know, at the end of the day, you know, I I see Terry and she and I have chatted about this a little bit. You know, you'd love your parents without question. And it's not that, but you also have kids and a life and a family and jobs and career still. You know, I got news for you. I don't know anybody, okay, other than maybe Warren Buffett, who who doesn't have to work, you know? Yeah. I mean, it's we still have You just don't you didn't expect it so soon. Yeah, you didn't thought, oh, I'm gonna get a good 20 years of just, you know, Craig and I and traveling with my friends, and you know, and it's uh it was kind of a uh rude awakening when their health starts declining and and you just don't have any options. You you have you have there's something inside of all of this, you have to be there to do that. Go ahead, Terry. I'm sorry. Yeah, you no, you're you're at it is, it is and it's my parents were wonderful, and you know, I lost my mom last year, and you know, that's another, you know, when you're dealing with uh aging parents, you know, we're all going through that as well together. And so, you know, I my girls are a sounding post for me many they they get an earful, you know, when I get frustrated and I've you know my father had a stroke and it's exhausting. And but I go to them and I should event and you know, let's have a glass of wine, and you know, but not only, you know, they've stepped up and you know they've you know brought meals to my parents and helped out, and you know, it just that's that's what that's what this friendship, you know, you don't even have to ask in the happens, yes, it happens. They're they're there. Yeah. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. I know, I know, I know. It's it's it's irreplaceable, and it's so it's so cool to see all of you interact automatically about stuff. I mean, that's just kind of what happens, you know, it's really cool. I mean, it really is. You know, every long-term relationship has got um, you know, this special unspoken language to it. Okay. And at the end of the day, you know, is there something amongst the three of you that you do that the other ones just kind of know? Oh, that's kind of like the secret handshake kind of deal. You know, you know what it is, but it's like between the three of you guys, and you know what it is, and nobody else does. I think we know how people how each other's gonna react, right? Oh, okay. Yeah, yeah. Or a certain look, or you know, yeah, yeah. You know, you know what's uh yeah. I was gonna say, I can I I can be sitting on Michelle's couch, and before I ask Josh or somebody something, I'll look at her and I'll go, yeah, here it comes. And she's like, Oh my god, man, what are you gonna do? No words, no words are necessary, you know. It's coming. It's coming. That's fine. Oh, you know, I want to hear about the time. One time, it didn't matter what it is, whoever wants to tell the story, that you laughed until you cried. You it was uncontrollable, you couldn't stop laughing. What was that story? If you can share it. I think there's been more than one occasion. I'm confident there's been more than one occasion. Oh gosh. Well, for one, I know that night that you described, Terry, that was one of them. Yes, yeah, yeah, we did laughed. We cried and we laughed and we cried again. We cried and we laughed again. I I think the rattlefish night we laughed pretty hard too. Yes, we did. What is the rattlefish? What the hell is that? Can we talk about that on the airwaves? Huh? It was somebody's birthday, and we got a limo. You stole it, or yeah, no? Okay, no, no, no. All right, no. Whose birthday was that? Was it your Terry? I it was either mine or Michelle's. We couldn't. We were trying to figure out whose. Yeah. I don't know, but by the time the limo got to my house, they were already drinking. That's awesome. Imagine that. I had to hide my oldest son. Good lord. Yeah, but it's what happened at rattlefish that caused all the yeah. So we're we're gonna take we're gonna take this down a little bit different trip. And um Michelle, the man that you are married to now, okay. The the man that I tried to marry, uh, but you wouldn't let me. Um let's let's talk about McDentons, okay? Let's talk about McDenton's. And I'll I will tell because you may not have ever shared this, but I'll kind of help you along. You'd called me on the phone and said, Listen, there's this guy. I want you to check him out, you know. And I'm thinking, oh my god, this last guy she did was a total drip, you know. So hopefully I can, you know, find out what's going on. So the girl I was seeing at the time, we met them, and in walks this incredibly fit, dark-haired guy. It's got this chiseled jaw the whole bit, and I was like going, wow, he's pretty hot, you know. I think uh I kind of like this guy, you know, and we started chatting. Now, chill, tell us what happened from there. Um, that's about all I remember. I do remember you were pouring margaritas. We had a picture of margaritas. We had four. Four. Okay, I just remember margaritas, four pictures. Yeah, yeah. And um, and I believe I remember Chris tossing me over his shoulder and walking up. Yeah, that's a card. Yeah, yeah, that's pretty true. So let me fill the gaps in for those of us who are playing on the whole version. Okay, we got there, and McDenton's is a club, you know, back in the 80s, 90s. It was a great place when I was playing in the band. We played there many nights. And great venue. They have wonderful margaritas, and it's the four of us that are in there, and we're out drinking a little bit. And, you know, after Chris and I start talking, that's her husband, for those of you who don't know, um, start talking, you know, I'm going, what a nice guy. I mean, this is just a really nice guy. And I'm thinking, how in the hell does she land this guy? You know? And, you know, yeah. Oh, I know. British raising her hand going, I did it. And I know you did. And I'm thinking, it was well, I mean, because her track record, for those of you again, who are playing at home, wasn't that great. Now, you can't see her, okay, but all three of these women are gorgeous, okay? And I'm thinking, wow, this is gonna be really cool. So we start drinking, start drinking, and Michelle becomes a person I haven't seen before. Okay, she turns into this glowy, red cheek, just just chatting, and she's happy, and she's hanging on Chris's shoulder, and she's barely known the guy. And I'm going, wow, this is really gonna go somewhere. And the only thing that I remember that was the funniest part of the whole night, other than Chris throwing her over his shoulder and pouring her into the car, okay, was hey, can you touch her nose? That was kind of the test. Can you touch your nose? She couldn't find her nose with a frying pan, okay? And and that was the funniest, the funniest story to relive it. Because honestly, I think Chris and I are the only two that remember it because both of them, both the girls that were there were out of control, just out of control. Oh my gosh. But the good news was he's an awesome guy, and and I love him. She still did put up resistance, yeah, exactly. Just he is just like he is the guy. I just love him to death, and you have just you scored. I think it's great. I think it's great. You still did. He scored, he scored pretty big. He did, that's what I said. Yeah, he absolutely did. Yeah, trust me, that's not a one-way street there because she's putting up with your shit. Yeah, absolutely. He knows it. Yeah. So, Terry, tell me how you met Kyle. How I met Greg? Yes, I said, Kyle. I'm looking at my notes in front of me. Good lord. Thank you. I was thinking about I have a question for yeah. Go ahead. Yeah. Yeah, these these girls were involved in that night. So um we all worked at Moffitt at the time, and Michelle and I worked in the accounting department, right? Michelle, yeah, I think that was right. That's right. And um, the there was a gal that worked in, she was the accounting manager, I believe. And her husband worked at the same hospital that Craig worked at. He was a nurse, I think, and Craig was in administration. Well, they had fixed Craig up with another gal in the department on a on a date. Uh Connie, remember that. So Connie, we were all we were all friends. It wasn't the Connie I'm thinking about, was it? Yeah, it was. Yes. Really? Yes. I doubled with Connie and Craig. Okay. That's right. It was yeah, okay. Anyway, go ahead. This is becoming very interesting now. Go ahead again. Well, Connie, Connie was a little older than Craig. Yes. And I mean, they they enjoy themselves, but I don't think either one it was not like fireworks. It didn't click. Well, but I think at the end of the night, somehow my name came up. And Connie said, you know who she needs to meet is Terry. I was not involved in this conversation at all. I was newly single. And uh so anyway, Kat, the the county manager whose husband worked with Craig, she said, Listen, we will set them up. It was right around Christmas time, and there was a Christmas party in the department. Yeah. And it was a dinner thing. You had to buy tickets, and I was just gonna go. I had actually had a date with somebody else and they canceled. So they said, Oh, you can take Craig. I said, Well, it is not a date. It's not a date. He can go, that's fine, but it's not a date. It's not a date. But anyway, that was our first, that was our first date, and uh we Went out the next night and that was it after that. We were, you know, we went out twice the week the next week, and we got married uh six months later. Nice. Nice. I think that's great. It was kind of circumstantial too, because he was finishing up a residency in hospital administration at Palms Pensadena, and you know, he he knew that resonancy was ending and he was gonna be going somewhere. You know, he got he was offered a position in analyst. So it was kind of one of those things where, well, we we knew we wanted to be together, but we didn't know how far we were gonna. I wasn't just gonna uproot myself alone and because Michelle wasn't there. Yeah, I gotcha. Okay, yeah. She won't fit in carry-on. Yeah, that's for damn sure. Yeah. So we just decided, oh well, we'll just get married, make it easier. They can move me. It just kind of all worked out. But that is that is yeah, I know. I you know, I I Brenda, I want to, I want to hear your story about Steve in just a second. I'd uh when I asked Amy out for the first time, it was a blind date, total blind date. Never met her, never seen, I saw a picture of her. We met at Chewy's, it was like this little Mexican cantina. And I walked in, I was like going, wow. You know, it it was like you saw this person, you thought, why is this woman going to go out with me? It was that kind of thing. And I almost couldn't talk for the first five minutes, and she barely ate. We chatted, she told me a couple things about her, and you know, she was being very standoffish. I mean, for those of you at home who know me, I'm six foot seven, I'm a big guy. My wife is five one on a good day. Okay. And um, you know, so she was very quiet, but we had a wonderful time, you know. And um the next day, I jumped on the phone with one of my buddies and I said, Here's her name. I need to know everything about her that you can tell me about her, where she works, what's going on. I said, whatever. So sure enough, my buddy, who I won't mention because she listens to these, I don't want to get him in trouble, told me where she worked, who her boss was, all this kind of stuff. So I sent two dozen, not a dozen, two dozen roses to her at school. She flipped out, she thought I was a stalker. I mean, she thought, oh my god, this guy, how in the hell did he find me? What's going on? That was a joke for like a month, right? You know, how did you find me? I'm like, hey, that's what I do, you know what I'm saying? Hey, it's a but you know, yeah, I just fell in love with her pathetically, like a ton of bricks on top of a grape. It was awful. Yeah. Brenda, how did you meet the Steven? Well, I was escaping a blind date. He was your rescue cover, yeah. Right. Uh no. Um I was um working at Moffat at the time. And um this seems to be a theme. Okay, go ahead. Yeah, yeah, those were great times. Those were great times. Um, and um a friend of mine was running for House of Representatives at um for the state of Florida. Carol, Carol Palomino, you all remember Carol. Yeah, and um, she I told her when at the very start of her thing that I would help her campaign. And I was um Brenda Ryder had set me up with a blind date. She wanted this guy she wanted me to be. I did not want to go on a blind date. But was the guy you were seeing blind? Is that how it worked, or no? No, no, she wasn't. Oh, okay. Go ahead. Yeah, all right. I've just said the groundwork. Yeah. Yeah. No, so I um so Carol called me that afternoon and say hey, and said, Hey, um, somebody backed out, and I need somebody to cover this event for me to, you know, hand out brochures and campaign for me. I said, absolutely, I'd be happy to. It was at Hunter's Green Country Club. Oh, I know what in Tampa Palms, up in Tampa Palms, and so it was a meet the candidate tonight um for the you know political thing. And so I went and I was handing out, you know, bro brochures, and I had I was already dressed up to go on this flight date, so I figured why the heck not. So I went there and this guy came and actually I ran into somebody I knew from my first marriage who was um hadn't seen in several years, and he was like, Oh, he was worked with my ex-husband, and um he saw me talking to this person who neither one of us liked, and uh he came up and and got an introduction and wanted to donate to Carol's campaign. And I said where do you live? Yeah, yeah, where do you live? And I he said, uh, I live in Apollo Beach, and I said, Well, that's really not in her district. That's okay, that's okay. I'll I'll donate anyhow. And so then, you know, yeah, excuse me, I'd like to buy Val. Yes, yeah, and then we we talked a little bit, and then the evening went on, and and he, you know, he was a new CEO in town, and he was familiar with Moffitt and our CEO, and I was in PR at the time at Moffitt. And um he said, Oh, you know, no, I I think I was recruiting physicians at that point. I was recruiting physicians. I was in in administration, and um he's you know, he w I said, Well, if you know, if you ever want to tour, just call Nick's office and you know, we'll arrange something. Oh, I don't want to bother Nick. Why don't you just give me your phone number? Very cute, very let me tell you, Steve has got game. He just went up about three touches in my book. Wow. That's very sweet. So the next the next day I left early and I came back uh because I had my son and I went to do something with him, and I came back and the next morning, and there was a voicemail message that was left around, I don't know, five o'clock, four thirty, five o'clock. Um, I I have a question. Can you give me a call? Um, I met you last night at such and such, and so I called. I so I thought, oh, this guy wants a tour. So I called up my CEO and I said, I met this hospital CEO last night, and he wants a tour. Who do you want him to meet with? He gave me a list of names. I call him back, I get it all set up, I call him back, and he goes, I've got two tickets to the Glen Fry concert a week from Saturday. Would you like to go? So I had to call my CEO up and say, Oh is this guy? Nice! Hold on, need to send a thank you letter to Steve for being the man I didn't know he was. Okay, wow, that's he's making commentary in the background. That is awesome. His version's a little different. Yeah, that's he's allowed. He's allowed. Guys always lie, it's true. Yeah, we just do, just make it up as you go along. That's great. You know, I think that is that is priceless. Oh, someone mentioned the word Connie somewhere in here, okay? All I'm saying is, wow. Okay. So anyway, moving right along. If you're at home on this version of the show, I want you to now you've heard the the ladies talk for a little bit, and I'm not going to tell you who this is, I want you to think which one of these fine young ladies would move in with their soon-to-be husband who actually owned two ferrets. Okay. Two ferrets. And she allowed him to have those things in the house. Okay. Now, I'm not going to tell you who it is, but you won't believe it if you ever find out. That's just a little piece of trivia there. Anyway, you know, be honest on this one, okay? And I know that there are probably because I I have some very close guy friends, and I'm uh, as you know, all of us have talked. I don't know if uh Brendan, you and I have had this conversation, but I've talked to Terry and and Shell both about this. I am very pathetically selective who my friends are, because you only have so much you can give. And, you know, I can count them on one hand, you know, who they are that matter to me. And I don't mean acquaintances, I mean people that I could call and go, I got the shovel, you know, we've got to go do something. And they would come. I mean, they're they're small. Has there ever been a moment that you didn't want to damage your friendship, that you kept something to yourself rather than speak up? Or do you think it's always been above board? That's hard. Yeah, I think there I think well, good. I think there have been times where you didn't want to, and maybe you delayed it longer than you probably would have wanted to. Um, but eventually you crack. Yeah. Right. I I mean, I'll give you a prime example. Um, you know, Michelle's husband, uh, as he and I have continued to grow together and become friends over time, he called me one day. Actually, we met, and he said, dude, listen, I need to talk to you. You know, he said, This girl that you've been dating, she's sleeping with somebody else. And I was like, You are so full of shit, dude. What are you talking about? And he kind of laid the whole thing out for me. Do you remember this show? I remember very well. Yeah. He laid the whole thing out for me. And I was so angry at him for about a day. And I just couldn't eat, I couldn't imagine. I thought, my God, what is he doing? The reality of it was, is he really was my friend. I mean, more than anyone I'd ever known. And he cared so much about me. He's like, dude, man, this this chick is destroying you, and you don't even know. Um, I will never forget that. That was one of those lessons that I learned personally, is that there are certain things that, irregardless of what happens, needs to be shared. And there's also things that you don't want to go, you know. I mean, you guys are getting dressed, you're looking at each other going, don't wear those heels, you moron. You look like a whore. You can't say that. Okay. But in your brain, you're thinking it. I think we could do that. And I think you probably do, actually. Yeah. Oh, yeah. So, you know, Brenda, is there a time? Do you think or have you you've been really up top with them? Something tells me you guys all three have. Um, I think Terry's right. Uh, maybe not at first, because I'm one of those people I tend to internalize things. Yeah. Um, and it takes me a while, you know, before I share sometimes, only because I want to make sure that I'm not reacting. Sure. That makes sense. Um it does. Or that I'm not, you know, and then there's other times it's just like I call up and say, What the heck is going on? I don't understand this. Am I wrong? Am I am I seeing this wrong? And Michelle or Terry will go, nope, that's pretty much what it is. Yeah. You know, and it just doesn't make sense. It doesn't make sense to me. Does it make sense to you? What am I missing? And they'll tell me. Yeah, and you gotta have that. You have to. And let me tell you, girls, as we continue to get more mature in our lives, okay? The filter comes off. You know? Now, yeah. I tell you, I am me around the three of you. I'll always be me around the three of you and your kids and everybody else. You better. You know, I I you're never gonna get me other way. Think of all the years you've known me. Am I any different today than I was the first time you met me? I won't be. You know, I I think my only personal regret is that I couldn't spend more time with Josh as he was growing up as my godson. You know, me personally. That that's a huge regret for me. And I've spent the last two or three years really making an effort so that he will remember what's important and he'll remember me as he gets older because I want him to know the day that he becomes a godfather for someone, what that means to be in that person's life, you know. Um, I wish I could have spent more time doing that. Um, you know, growing older teaches a great job with him. He you've always been in his life. Yeah, I love that kid. I do. If you turn your back, I will take him just so you know. Oh, yes, yeah, yes. Yeah, I was just telling the other day, I told him, I said, dude, you're so lucky. You know, you get a hot wife out of the deal. I said, It's one and done. You're never gonna see anyone else but her. I said, Yeah, look at you. Look at what you look like, okay? Yeah, you would think you had good-looking parents, you know, and a career. What's your deal, right? I just love that kid. So he loves you too. Yeah, so let's think um about uh where we're going, where you ladies are going in life now. Um what do you see is the biggest challenge for you emotionally as we all continue to get older? I mean, you know, uh all of us are in the 6-0 club, one of us is close, August, you know. Yeah, don't have a cow over it. I'm serious, it's just a number. Just a number. Doesn't matter. It really doesn't matter. You know, if you think it's a big deal, not so bad, Michelle. Yeah, you think it's a big deal, you'll make it a big deal. You know, it's it's really not. What do you see yourself doing, Terry, in five years? I've got to be retired. And Craig better be retired. Good answer. Good answer. That's the word I was waiting to hear. Retired. Yeah, yeah. Yes, yes, hopefully retired. Yeah, no doubt. Brenda. I am five years. I'm six. Um I yes, we want to be retired and spending our time between Naples and Missouri, probably. Gotcha. Gotcha. Mm-hmm. Gotcha. If we can find a way to make it work, we will. Yeah, yeah. I I think it's, you know, I when I have conversations with different folks, and I've had a couple different folks on the show that, you know, talk about retiring, and they talk about sitting home and doing nothing. I don't consider that retiring. I consider that dying. Okay. I don't want to sit home and do nothing. You know, there's a lot of crap I want to do, man. You know, I don't expect to ever be here. I want to be gone, you know, doing stuff. Right. You know, that's what I'm saying. Don't you remember we said that work gets in the way of this friendship? Oh, trust me. Yeah. Then it won't. Yeah, yeah. It won't be traveling. Places to go and people to see. Sure. That's right. And the uh the anchor of the business uh just drags down. He's killing me. Uh you know it pays the bills though, so it does pay the bills. Yeah, it is there a version of you that you didn't like and your girlfriends said, Hey, you need to get your act together. I'm I'm not dealing with this. Is there a version of you, ladies? Coming along the way that the girls looked at you and went, What are you doing? Terry, is there a version of you? If there was, they never said anything. So that's fair. We would say something. We would definitely tell her. Oh, I was gonna say, Oh, we would. Oh, I don't think I've changed that much. I mean, I think I've probably matured and definitely uh maybe gotten a little wiser, but haven't we all, you know? Oh no, haven't we all? It comes with age, you know, and experience. True. But no, I don't think I'm so drastically different. Yeah. Michelle? I don't think she is either. But no. No, I'm talking about you hammerhead. Man, just deflecting. This is not the country one in five, okay. And then of all of all three of us, Michelle would be the least one to evolve into something, you know, he's always free. I'm so so dating myself as I look at the screen, okay, which you guys can't see. It's like looking at Hollywood squares, and you're all, I'm thinking you're gonna look down it. I talked about it it's friggin' awesome. It is so awesome. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, when I first came into the group, it was it was um right right around when Terry and Craig met and got married, I think. And uh Well when you when you guys met your h your husband's, I was in Texas. So I wasn't around. But I mean those meetings. When I when you guys look at a picture of me from Terry's wedding in the backyard of your parents' house, yeah, there's always a joke about how much I've changed or came from my from my first marriage through my divorce through my you know how that's true. I think I became objective. Well, let me tell you, yeah, walking through hell changes you. Yeah, yeah, it does, it changes you. You don't have an option with a two-year-old. Yeah, on your hip. Yeah, I get you. Now, while Terry was in Texas, and for those of you who don't know, she was out there at a bull riding school. That's one of the things that she had always wanted to do. And uh, you know, if you could tell or talk to yourself, your 25-year-old self today. Oh gosh. What would you tell your 25-year-old self, Michelle? What would you tell yourself? What's important and what to do? What would you tell yourself? Don't sweat the small stuff. Good answer. What else? You know, um that just to be grateful for where you're at in life at the at the moment, be grateful for everything that you have, your friends, you know, a roof over your head. Um just to be thankful. That's that's that's perfect. Brenda, what would you tell your 25-year-old self? Um similar to Michelle, in in that, you know, um, God's got this. There's been God has been so faithful in my life um through every up and down and through every trial and stuff that, you know, um, like these three girls, God's always been there. And he's always been in our threes relationship. And I think that's what's been just huge for us. Um, I don't know what people do who don't have God in their life. I I just um it's been my faith has been just critical to my um sanity. I got you. Terry, what would you tell your 25-year-old self that you can say on the air? Oh I have one more thing. Okay, go ahead. Don't don't um don't drink the mind eraser at Rattlefish. Go ahead, Terry. The mind eraser. Oh my god. I wish I didn't. I don't know. That's a hard, you know, there are there are things, you know, I could I would say if I could knowing what I know now, you know, there's probably three things, you know, one really um embrace those uh the relationships with my family and don't let those slip away. Um and really try and hold a little tighter. Um maybe I do a few things different with my my kids, but I think they turned out all right. Um and and not be outside when they sprayed uh malapion in uh Carolwood, so maybe I wouldn't have gotten cancer. I don't know. Hey, you know, it was just our fucking turn. It was our turn. I had to throw that in there. I because you know Yeah, no, it's true. I think, you know, I I know um for a fact, you know, and I've gotten this comment from a lot of folks. Um, they're like, you know, you've been through so much. And you know, are are you a religious person? I said, you tell me what a religious person is. Tell me what that is to you, and they'll say, Oh, church and this. And I said, Well, maybe, you know, maybe. I said, Do you think religion is in a building or it's in your body and your mind? And they go, Well, you know, you have to belong to a church. I said, Do you? Do you? You know, my thought is that, you know, there was a point in time, and I'm sure you were there too, Terry, that I laid in that bed and thought, you know what? I don't know if I'm gonna wake up tomorrow morning. And I would scream at God to no end, to where I actually had nurses come in my room going, what are you doing? I'm having a conversation. Get out. You know, and you know, it it's it is different for everybody, is my point. And what you take with you that makes you appreciate what God has done for you is what your personal needs are, and it's different for everybody, you know. Trust me, I know for a simple fact that Terry and I are both miracles, you know. I shouldn't have been, I should have never gone home, you know, ever. 22 years later, you know, here I am. So, you know, I I think that that is a key thing, Brenda. I think religion in your life and God and believing what goes on that's not physical, God exists. For those of you, you may want to put in a box and go, oh, I'm an atheist, and I'm this kind of stuff. You be whatever you want. When someone looks at you and gives you the options of what's there, you're not an atheist anymore. Okay, trust me. Okay, trust me. So good, good point, good point. And that's central to what what you guys do. Uh, I love to watch you guys interact. You don't even see each other and you're looking at each other. It's great. I mean, you just you have no idea, you have no idea how much I'm enjoying this. So happiest point in your life, Shell, if you could think of one moment so far, what has been the happiest time that you can remember? And I know there's a lot, but if you could pinpoint one that comes to mind instantly, what was that moment? Having my kids. Yeah, yeah. Carrie? Yeah. Well, yes, but and and I have to preface this, you know, when I had my daughter, um who's who's now 30, um, that's oh my god, you're old. Okay, I'm sorry, go ahead. Yes, yes, I am. I was, you know, I was living in Texas at the time. She was born there. Yeah. And so, you know, I had a few friends by that time by that time, but I was not working. I was able to stay home with her. That year that she spent the first year of her life, having her and and bonding with her and just being with her every single day was I look back at that and that was the most joyous time of my life. Now, I mean, I would love to be able to say that I was I got that time with Kyle, but I didn't because I got sick and I missed out on his a lot of his first year. So um, you know. Yeah. I gotcha. Yeah. To take this back in, at the time you you were in Texas and would go from Kyle. Where were you at there? Well, I mean, uh of course, you know, we were excited about having him. I just I didn't have the same experience of having that time to bond with him and because I got sick. So, you know, he was a baby. It's so you know, it's a little different. Yeah, yeah. I got you. I gotcha. Okay. You know, it I think is I kind of want to round this out so we can kind of land the plane on all this. What aside from retirement, which we know you guys are going for, tell me how your day-to-day lives have changed over time. I know what they were in the 80s, okay. I know what they were after you initially got married. In the 80s, thank God they didn't have camera phones, okay. Um, you know, now we're at the spot. What's your day-to-day shell different like? Well, it's different interacting with adult kids for sure. Um you know, you have your home home life, and then you've got, you know, you still have work stuff going on, um, which is is different too, because now you don't have the distractions of I've got to leave early for this at school or that baseball game or this, you know. So you have less distractions with that, but interacting with interacting with adult kids and day-to-day lives is is definitely different. You know, and I'm still trying to figure out how to navigate that sometimes. I bet, you know, because I remember a point in time where I didn't know that you were gonna end up with two kids. I thought one was gonna be sacrificed right there on the dining room table. So yeah, I remember that quite well. I bet I know who that was. Yeah, Caitlin, I love you, straight art. I love you, honey. All right, Kieran, what's different for your day-to-day now? Oh, my day-to-day has changed uh immensely. You know, I I don't like I only work part-time. So even though I'm, you know, we own a business and Craig is there probably 70, 80 hours a week, um, I'm only in the office a couple hours a day a day, which is I know, you laugh. Um but I have I have more uh time, but as I mentioned before, you know, my my father, he is an assisted living, but I I do a lot for my father. Sure. Yeah. Um I'm his his transportation and his doctors and his financial, and you know, I take care of all that. So that allows me to do that. Um, which I'm very, very thankful for. Sure, absolutely. Brenda, what's your day to day? Is it different now? Um you know, less responsibilities, but I'm still working full-time. I'm I'm working my dream job finally, and um that I took four years ago when I moved back to Tampa. And um I'm working another part-time job, so I'm still going. Wow. Wow, you know what what time, Shell, do you get up in the morning? What time do you get up? It's actually different. Average, you know, what are you normally about that time? 6 30. Okay, Terry. Uh 6. Brenda. 7. 7 38. It's fine. Show show what time. I work from home. Yeah, now we're talking during the week, not the the weekends. What time do you normally go to bed during the week? 10 30, 11. Um, between 10 and 11. Okay, Terry. 9:30. Yeah, that's me. I'm a nine o'clock guy, trust me. Yeah, because I you're not you're not gonna be seeing me answering a bunch of texts after much after nine. No, and and let me just ask you guys, guys, this seriously, do you need an alarm clock anymore? No, I wish I wouldn't. I I wish I did. I wake up notoriously at 5 30 every day. Yeah, if I give me two dance I go to bed at three in the morning, I wake up at 5 friggin' 30. It doesn't matter. Yes, you know. Don't you hate that? Even though I do. Yeah, it's on Saturday. You're thinking, oh, I'm gonna sleep in, and you roll over and go, yeah, it's 5:30. I guess my butt's getting up. I can't stand just laying in the bed. It's awful, you know. I can't stand it. Okay, one last question. Okay, as we kind of bring all this to close. First, ladies, thank you so much for for one, being in my life, but sharing all the things that you've shared with folks that are here, because I think there are a lot of folks that go, you know, I don't have friends like that for years, you know, and I think they've truly missed out. They really have, you know. Absolutely. Um, you know, your lives are enriched and enhanced and screwed up and off the wall and funny and sad and amazing because of the friends that you bring into your life, you know. And uh, you girls are are pretty freaking awesome. You truly are. Final thoughts, Michelle. Anything that you want to share? Anything that you know you want to say or we missed that we can talk about? Just have to say that yes, Brenda introduced me to Chris. Way back, way back. Um yes, I'm thankful for that. And it just kind of evolved. We didn't just start dating, but we were just you know, friends in a group, and um it was you know, easy. It's easy, but thank you for that, Brendan. Yeah, I'm sorry, yeah. Let me tell you what, so we can play the rest of the story here. She walked this guy into McDent's man. Her eyes were pinpoint, laser focused. She's like, I am going to have this man, he is going to be mine. I mean, oh no, that wasn't what that wasn't how it started, though. Oh, I know. No, that wasn't how it started. No, it wasn't at all. I said, Michelle, I got this guy you need to meet. I met Chris out one night at what was that place called Storage? Yeah, down Cold Storage. Yeah. He was with a bunch of FBI guys that we used to hang with down there. And and we started talking. I said, Oh, I gotta go. Um, I gotta go. I drive back all the way back up to USF. He goes, Oh, I live near USF. I said, Where do you where do you live? And he said, I said, I live in North Oak subdivision. He goes, I live in North Oak subdivision. I said, I'm in building 15. He goes, I'm in building 17. We literally, our doors were steps apart. Yeah, no, I didn't. And then he became he became, you know, my little brother. And he'd come over with the ferrets. God, the ferrets. Oh. How was he gonna tell that story? The moment I met him, I said, I got the girl for you. You need to meet my friend Michelle. Showed him a picture. He said, Oh yeah, I need to meet her. I bet he did, yeah. And she said, Oh no, she she met him. Oh, he's nice, but I don't want to put another one through school. And what did she put him through? Yeah, undergrad, yeah, graduate in law school, yeah. Because she's got such a crap life now, yeah. There you go. Yeah, and they're moving they're moving in together, and she's like, Oh, he's really not my type. Yeah, he's your type, yeah. He's breathing, yeah. Let's go. Yeah. And Chris is like, I'm gonna wear a gown. I fucking do this. I'm gonna wear it down. He called me. He called me one day. He said, You are not gonna believe what I'm doing. I go, What are you doing? He said, I'm putting a friggin' turnbuckle and wire in here because she's got so many clothes. It's pulling the damn things off the wall. I go over and I swear to you, there's a turnbuckle and cables because there's so many clothes. I thought we were at friggin' Marshall's at like a buy one, get one freestale. There were a million outfits in there. I was like, Chris, are you getting a few more? And you know what? Hell yes, it is. It is still cool. Terry, final thoughts. Yeah, so I think um when we were talking about friends that you know, our group used to be bigger. And over the years, ever since I've known, you know, Michelle and then Brenda, you know, we have had lots of friends come and go. And I think that happens in life. And I sure do I've come to believe that, you know, you've heard the saying, you know, friends for a season. Sure. I I think there have been I've had friends in the past where I thought, oh, you know, they're a great friend, they're gonna be we're gonna be friends for for years and years, and then a couple years later you lose touch. Right. But you don't really mourn it too much. You just kind of I chalk it up to they're just they were only meant to be in my life for a certain amount of time. And that's okay. Um where I'm at today, I'm like you, Van, you know, I feel like I could probably name my truest friends on one hand, which I like, I like it that way. And I so do what these girls, these girls, I never questioned that. I never said, Oh, I, you know, are they gonna drift out of my life? I've lived, we've all, you know, Brenda's lived in another state, I've lived in another state, and it has never wavered. I never questioned it. I never, I always knew, um, no matter what, uh, didn't matter if we didn't see each other for a year or two, you know, nothing would change. So, and that's that's priceless. That's priceless. Well, no, it's it's very true too. I mean, you know, I I do not get to spend as much time on the phone with Brenda as I do with both of you. But if I haven't talked to either one of you guys in a month and I pick up the phone and call you, it was like I talked to you yesterday, you know. I just I talked to you five minutes ago. What did you do this morning? Oh, well, you know. So it's we don't always just see each other all the time, you know, every week. You know, life gets in the way, life gets busy, but then when you finally get it together and you're able to, it's like no time at fast. Yeah, so it makes you cherish the time that you do. Do you think it does? No, you're spot on, shall care? Yeah, yeah. Brenda, final thoughts? We have people in your life that you know that come and go, and you have people who come in your life and you feel like they suck the life out of you. And this friendship is our our friendship have Oh, yeah. Yeah, and and and our friendship has never been like that. It's always been we get together and we're but it's it's like not all one person. It's we're all ebbing and flowing, and if somebody's got something going on, we're talking about it, but then somebody else, you know, it's just it people enrich are the these girls enrich my life, and it's never a drain. Never ever a drain. And it's just something I look forward to. That's just how friends are. I mean, real friends, they're never, you know, you just come in, everybody's got baggage on certain days. I don't care who you are, but it's the love that you share for each other, okay, that makes baggage just get dropped at the door. It just gets dropped at the door because we all have it, you know. It's crazy. No, there's no judge, there's no judgment. There's no, you know, we're honest with each other, but you don't, we don't, we don't judge. I know. We're just there. Yeah. This is all I have to say. At least one day. Just one day, okay. Oh my god. There's always this one. Yes. Oh my god, yes. Yeah, yeah, for sure. So, folks, listen, I cannot tell you how much I have thoroughly enjoyed talking to these wonderful ladies. And um, you know, as we look back on this conversation and they share it with their friends, and you share it with yours, life is not the same without your friends. Life is all about relationships. You know, I've talked on many of my podcasts about relationships and business and how you accomplish things, how you make sales. It's about trust and it's about truly building relationships. And we're not talking acquaintances. Us girls would take a bullet for each other, okay? Like my buddies do for me. There's a difference between an acquaintance and a friend. And the older you get, the more it becomes one of those kinds of things. Although we tease in the beginning about having a shovel and no one can talk about it. That's where I'm at in my life, and I'm sure they are too. So I appreciate your cards. Uh, and I say that by the digital cards that I get sent. I appreciate your tweets and your text. Uh, I thank you for this idea, uh, Karen. This came from you, and I really appreciate that. And um, you know, ladies, I I cannot thank you enough. I love all three of you to death. And uh we love you, Van. This is really fun. We love you too, Van. It's really been fun. Yeah. All right, ladies. Spend a good evening. And we'll talk about it. Good night, Charlie. Yeah. Good night, Charlie.