Truth Meets Taboo

The Sacred Slut: Reclaiming Sexuality & Feminine Power

• Sage • Season 1 • Episode 5

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The sacred slut archetype has been one of the most liberating discoveries on my journey. For years, I carried shame around my sexuality, shaped by purity culture and the stories women are told about desire. Reclaiming the word slut has allowed me to heal, to prioritize my pleasure, and to step into unapologetic self-acceptance.

This episode is an invitation to see your sexuality as sacred, to release the shame, and to embody your own erotic wholeness without apology.



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Sage (00:01.08)
Hello my sweet sexy vixens, I hope that you all are doing well. I'm super excited to be here. I feel like it's been a few weeks since I've actually sat down and recorded a podcast. I have been doing so much traveling and running around for both pleasure and for work and that has been really beautiful. And so I feel like it's just been a minute since I've actually

grounded into this space, grounded into this community, and really put myself back on the podcast. And so I'm feeling a little nervous today for some reason. My body is going through a lot. I'm in my luteal phase. So I am just trying to find my flow and be in my flow. But it's been a little bit rough today. And I have a super busy weekend planned with an intimacy workshop on Saturday that I'm hosting with

five beautiful couples that I'm so excited about and then I actually have a yummy, yummy birthday treat for my partner on Sunday Planned where me and six of my girlfriends are gonna feast upon him for a few hours and I think that's gonna be really yummy. speaking of this beautiful feasting activity and talking about getting a group of my girlfriends together so that we can

play with a toy. It's actually a wonderful way to begin this episode because what we are talking about today is how being a slut is actually sacred. Because what if slut was sacred? What if it was the very doorway to liberation? What if it was the thing?

that gave us pleasure and freedom and that in and of itself was deeply sacred.

Sage (02:08.748)
I want you to just settle in with a breath right now.

Sage (02:14.336)
I know it can be a lot when we're talking about the word slut, when we're thinking about the word slut, when we're processing and orienting to the word slut.

I want to ground us into the idea that the slut archetype is not about how many lovers you've had. It's about the part of you that refuses to apologize for wanting. The part of you that knows pleasure is divine, is holy, it is sacred. The slut isn't dirty.

The slut is a priestess at the altar of desire, reminding us that our longing, that's what leads us back to divine.

So I remember growing up not really coming into contact with the word slut. It really didn't come up a lot in the vocabulary of people around me or in my communities. It really wasn't until I got into college that I really heard the word slut kind of being thrown around. And I remember when I started to be called a slut. So college was really like the first time I had an opportunity to date and have sex at

very large scale, right? Like I wasn't really having sex that much in high school or the sex I was having with was with my monogamous dedicated partner. And so it wasn't until college and after my assault that I really kind of fell into more of my sluttiness, my promiscuity, my willingness to engage in more physically intimate activities with more people.

Sage (04:05.998)
And while I knew that there was a part of me that was engaging in some sexual activity from a place of trauma and a place of being hurt and harmed, I did realize that there was also this interesting part of me that was also very excited and eager and wanted to and very much enjoyed being in my pleasure and having pleasure, receiving that pleasure and being that liberated and expressed. I loved it.

I was also in a sorority in college. And so if you're familiar with Greek life or being in a sorority, you know that there is a lot of social politics amongst the sororities and fraternities, and it's like its own little community. And so there started to become interesting little ways that the fraternities would signal

girls that were willing to sleep with people within the fraternities. So there was one fraternity in which I slept with a few of the brothers and I was almost given a toaster because when you slept with a number a certain number of people in that fraternity they gave you a toaster. And again there was this kind of like gamified codification of like trying to sleep with women as being part of a frat.

but then this like shaming of women for participating in the game. So it was like, what? And there were a lot of people who were like, I would be so embarrassed to get the toaster. I'd be so embarrassed to get a toaster. And I was like, I wouldn't be. Why is that embarrassing? Like, I don't understand why choosing to be physically intimate, having sex is such a thing to be shameful about. And so,

It was really interesting to go through that experience and then at a broader scale there was this thing called College ACB, if you've never heard of it. It was basically like Reddit, Facebook combined and it was back, I was in college in 2007 and so it was basically you could go on there, they would list all the universities and then inside the universities you could post different threads about people.

Sage (06:26.762)
And man were there some threads about me, so many threads about me, and the two things that were brought up more than anything else were my weight and me being a slut. So I found it so interesting that no one had anything else to say about me other than my weight, which at the time I was probably like 170 pounds, like I was not a big girl. And then,

my promiscuity or the fact that I would sleep around or the fact that I was a sexual being. I just found it so interesting that those were the two things that people really wanted to focus in on when they were quote unquote talking shit about me publicly, right? And it made me really wonder what our issue with women having sex was because none of the men

were being called anything for participating in sex in college. If anything, they were being congratulated. And so when we think about the word slut, it's something that I think for me has always connotated sex, but the reality is slut wasn't originally about sex and it wasn't always about that. So the etymology of the word slut is that in the 1400s,

Slut actually meant messy woman or kitchen maid. There were people that would write about these types of characters at the time, and slut was used to kind of say a woman that was messy or somebody that worked in the kitchen. And then in the 1600s, that's when it got shifted into sexual shame, a woman judged for promiscuity. Right, and we can think about the 1600s, the...

idea of Puritanic culture, right, the enforcement of Victorian ideals or purity, right, and the connection of religious intensity and really realizing that religious cultural enforcement was around this idea of being a virgin, being pure. And so that really started to kind of drive the idea that slut was kind of like the opposite

Sage (08:48.262)
virtue. So slut specifically being kind of more of this like on the other end of the axis from virginity or virgin or prudish or however you want to say that. And then it was interesting because as we started to culturally engage with the word slut, interesting colonial layers also then became a part of the conversation.

So when we look at history of enslaved black women, they're stereotyped as Jezebels, right? This idea that they're seductresses and that they seduce men and have this like insane powerful quality that makes them promiscuous. And even being a Japanese American woman, right? Like the idea of military colonization and the presence of American military.

in my home country and how that has contributed to narratives and social ideologies about who Asian women are sexually and them being sexual beings and being fetishized and being desired in a certain way. And even being seen as submissively coy but trying to seduce people and that we are made to be

sexual objects. And this idea about how colonialism really brought forth this idea that taking women, being with women, sexualizing women was because of these detriments of them, that they were actually the reason that men were lustful and men had these feelings of being seduced.

So I want to invite you to notice how the slut has never really described women's truth. Right? It's always been about control, about policing bodies, about taking away freedom, about policing desire and...

Sage (11:11.873)
eroticism.

Sage (11:17.218)
We also see this as one of the most common insults today for women. There's something about, we love to call people sluts, and it's kind of why I've taken back the word myself. I call my friends sluts, like when we're at events, like all girls events, I'm like, all right, sluts, okay, sluts. Like, because it doesn't need to be used against us, and we do get to take it back. And we do get to say, you know what, you don't get to shame me.

for being invested in my own pleasure. You don't get to shame me for being in my desire. You don't get to shame me for wanting to experience pleasure.

Sage (12:00.01)
I to talk a little bit about the slut as like a feminine archetype. Archetypes are universal patterns or human experience.

I'm going to take that back.

Sage (12:15.746)
I want to talk about the slut as a feminine archetype. So archetypes are universal patterns of human experience. So this is about energy of the human experience that moves through all of us. It's not about a singular person, but it's about this idea of a pattern of human experience, like being the lover or being the healer, right? The slut as an archetype

is really about understanding how pleasure can show up for us and how we can be in a sense of ecstasy with our pleasure.

Before we can see the slut as something that is about liberation and pleasure, I think it's really important that we think about the shadow side of the slut and how it's been kind of distorted culturally. So the slut is kind of like being, is being seen currently as the exiled feminine, right? That she's shamed for being too sexual, too much, too free, and that she's punished, right?

because she's refusing to submit. So it's this like distorted cultural idea that being a slut is negative, that it's bad, that it's not a flex, that it's not something that you want to be, because again, you're too much. And really, the shadow of slut is where we bury our wildest, most erotic impulses.

Because if we assign those impulses and desires to a negative thing, right, by saying, this is my slutty side, or this is the slut in me, or this is, you know, something that I separate from me, then we can bury it away. Then we don't have to deal with it. Then we can detach from it. Then we can pull ourselves away from it. And so then most of our fantasies, most of our erotic desires,

Sage (14:30.06)
get shoved into that same box, into the same darkness, into the same space. Because archetypes themselves cannot be destroyed, they can only be suppressed. So the more you suppress your slut, right, which is your inner desires, your erotic fantasies, your pleasure, the more you suppress that, the more that archetype just starts to come out sideways for you, where you start to feel shame, where there's a bunch of secrecy.

where there's a bunch of repression. So many of the clients that I work with, especially that are feminine, they tell me that even when they masturbate, even when they're trying to explore their sexual pleasure for themselves, they feel this need to hide. They feel this need to not be seen. They feel this need to be in the shadows, in the darkness. And I think that really speaks to how shame can show up for all of us and how shame can make us feel like we need to repress

our desires and our impulses.

And then our eroticism, our pleasure, begins to exist inside of a deep dark box.

Sage (15:42.368)
And when we realize that our slut has been suppressed, that our pleasure and desire and eroticism has been suppressed, we can actually see the sacred slut as the archetype for our liberation. Because when we reclaim slut, it becomes a holy figure. When we say things like, my body is not dirty, my desire is not dangerous, my pleasure is divine.

When we reclaim those things, we begin to see ourselves fully in our divinity, in our authenticity, in our truth.

Sage (16:28.3)
Because the slut allows us to own our erotic hunger without apology. It allows us to say, I am allowed to want, I am allowed to desire, I am allowed to indulge. I am allowed to do that. I am allowed to move with magnetism, radiance, vitality.

I am allowed to move in that way. For me, the sacred slur is really about the seductress and the priestess coming together. It is about the idea that we can seduce and also be divine and provide healing and provide transformation and provide growth.

that there is both eroticism and holiness in the same space.

And I think the sacred slut really liberates us from the hypocrisy in purity culture. There is so much hypocrisy in purity culture.

And there are so many ways that we try to shape and mold purity as a way to keep people from their pleasure.

Sage (17:58.102)
And I think disrupting that, disrupting that cycle, disrupting purity as the preference or the betterment.

Sage (18:13.678)
I'm gonna actually take that.

Sage (18:24.142)
So the sacred slut is a disruptor archetype. What does that mean? Disruptor archetype means that she is here to mess some shit up. She is here to cause a problem. The slut in you is so desperate to have desire and pleasure and eroticism as part of your life that she is willing to burn down every sense of hypocrisy and purity culture to get you.

to disrupt this cycle because she is here to remind you, to call you back, to say, hey, no, your pleasure is powerful. It deserves to be prioritized. It deserves to be centered. And it brings us back into that place. It disrupts those stories and brings us back to this place of understanding our pleasure is so important. And we deserve to have it. We deserve to be in it.

We deserve to prioritize it.

This disrupter archetype also says, you know what? There is no patriarchal ownership of sexuality. Men do not own sexuality. Men do not own desire. Men do not own being a sexual being or being sexualized, vice versa, any of those things. It is the idea that women also have the right, the

privilege, the obligation, whatever, that they deserve to be a part of the sexual conversation too, and sexuality is for them too. And so it is for all of us. It disrupts this idea that sexuality is just for one group and that it's actually for all groups. And it brings forward erotic truth. It asks us to say,

Sage (20:26.343)
What is?

uncovering of my own desires, the uncovering of my own eroticism, bringing forward in my truth. Because remember, you can be honest and not tell the truth. You can be honest, right? To say honestly, maybe how you're feeling, or maybe honestly what factually just happened. But that doesn't mean you're saying the truth about a thing. That doesn't mean you're actually saying, also, this is what I was also thinking about when when this came up.

or also I have this desire in line with this thing I'm talking about, right? And being able to bring in the truth and shine a light on specifically your erotic truth.

Sage (21:15.372)
I think when I think about the sacred, I'm going take that back.

Sage (21:24.054)
One of the first ways that I really started learning about the sacred slot was when I started doing some research into some different spiritual lineages and the one... Let take that back.

Sage (21:40.724)
My favorite sacred slut archetype to work with is Lilith. I started working with Lilith about four years ago and there was just something that was calling out to me. There was just something about her energy that just kept calling to me. I kept seeing her name repeated places. I kept seeing movies and books and shows about her and she just kind of popping up into my consciousness.

And I was just finally like, okay, I'm taking the signs. I'm hearing the signs. And I went ahead, started doing my rituals, started thinking about how I wanted to anoint my relationship with her, thinking about calling her in, requesting her services, all of those types of things, or guidance, I should say. And then on Halloween of 2021, I was outside for Samhain, and I did a little ritual with my period blood and apples and all sorts of stuff. And I called her in and we started working together. And that was the start.

DTF to be totally honest. That's when I started really stepping into my power as a sacred sexual being as an intimacy coach as a sex educator like that's when I really started to double down on my purpose on what I knew I needed to bring to the world on what I knew I wanted to be doing and if you've never heard of Lilith's myth mythology or lore

I'm going to share a little bit about what I know. There are lots of different readings and texts out there about her, so I recommend you do your own research if you're interested. But I want to talk about what stood out to me and why I work with her. So essentially, the readings that I've read say that Lilith was actually the first wife of Adam and that she was actually cast out of the same clay as Adam and they were made from the same clay when Adam was made with the world.

and that she refused to take a place of submission with him and that angered him. Specifically, she would not get underneath him to have sex. She wanted to be on top. And because he wanted her submission and felt so strongly about that, there was a bunch of things that happened. He complained to God, all these things. And then she was cast out of Eden for refusing to submit. And that's why Eve.

Sage (24:09.186)
was made out of Adam's rib.

And so this idea of we've been sold this story about Eve, right? That she is man's companion and was made from his rib and this like kind of connection of like women being grateful to men and like all of this stuff.

But really.

There was already a first wife. There was already someone who was made of the same clay as him. And we didn't get her because we wanted to demonize her as a succubus, as an eternal slut archetype to say she was refusing to submit and so she is now damned and demonic. Because she wanted to be in her pleasure, because she wanted to

step into her sacred slut archetype and be in her power and in her pleasure, in her divinity, that that got her casted out. And then you can see the kind of trickle effect or ripple effect of then the stories of Eve and purity and virginity and all of these things coming out of

Sage (25:29.248)
I noticed so many times that many of the slut archetypes sit at the crossroads of demonized yet divine. Mary Magdalene, misnamed a whore, yet she is the archetype of erotic devotion, love, and spiritual intimacy. She was literally Jesus's advisor.

and he was in love with her, believe. So it's like this idea that like sexuality, love, pleasure, holiness, actually all go together. They're actually all part of the same thing, right? Because when you own your slut archetype, when you own that power, you're fully owning your life force energy. You're saying, you know what? I'm gonna take my erotic power and I'm gonna do what I want with it. I'm going to make

things happen. And you know what, on top of that, I'm then going to liberate myself, because I'm going to dissolve the chains of shame and stigma and fear about my sexuality. And I am going to magnetize, because I am going to learn how to draw attention on my own terms. When you are in your slut archetype, you're so comfortable with receiving energy that you know how to get it on your own terms. You're so c- it does not-

freak you out, it doesn't scare you, it doesn't overwhelm you, you know exactly how to magnetize and draw an attention.

Sage (26:59.308)
And when you step into your slut archetype, you get into a sovereignty of your yes and your no. And you get to know, what do I want to say yes to? What do I want to say no to? When I was having tons of sex in college, that was something that was coming up for me quite a bit, is that the more I did it, the more I was like...

I know what my yes and what my no is now. I know those things more.

Sage (27:42.04)
How to know if the sacred slut is showing up to you or where she's showing up for you. Let me take that back.

Sage (27:51.342)
So you might be wondering, I'm gonna take that back.

Sage (28:01.378)
There are ways to kind of take a look at your life and let me take that back.

Sage (28:13.038)
So I know for me, she was appearing in my life for very long time as my shadow. My sacred slut was showing up in shadow. There was a lot of self judgment, a fear of being too much, hiding my sexuality or like craving external validation. That's how my sacred slut was in shadow for a very long time. And as I have worked on my relationship with her, I'm actually able to see her in a more liberated form now.

I am speaking more about my desires. I am dressing more in the ways that I feel are more erotic for me and more sensual for me. I am choosing to take multiple lovers. Or I am choosing my solitude without any shame.

And am allowing myself to live with the sense that my pleasure is a path to divinity. And so if you are trying to work on this, if you're like, want to be in my sacred slut, you're going to have to think about naming the blocks. Shame from family, religion, or culture, what does that look like for you? Do you have a fear of judgment or a fear of abandonment? Because being in your pleasure and being in your sacred slut,

going to activate fear of judgment or fear of abandonment and you need to know where you're at on those things and You need to know how to have better connection with your body You need to think about how do I become more in tune with my body? How do I overcome my disconnection and my numbness of my body? How do I attune more into my body? And it's about

understanding where you are in these things so you can work to reframe them, so you can work to reorient yourself around them, so you can see them in a different way so that your sacred slut actually feels safe enough to come out and most importantly has room to come out. Because when we carry the word slut in our bodies as shame, we're carrying centuries of control. To reclaim it is to break a chain that's been passed down

Sage (30:31.832)
from morality and colonial domination, it's not just personal healing. It is ancestral and it is cultural. You are doing this for everyone.

And so some practices you can think about as you're trying to evolve into the spiritual slut and be in more of your sacred slut. Daily embodiment, dress for yourself. Do the thing, dress, wear the colors, the flow, the materials, whatever you want. Consider how you might do erotic movement somehow throughout your day, whether that's dancing, touching on yourself, whatever it might be. And then try to think about ways to name your desires and speak your desires.

more unapologetically. So thinking about how you can incorporate those three things into your daily life, that's going to help access your sacred sludge.

Your sacred slut is going to give you so much information about what you truly desire, what you want, what you want to explore. And if you are feeling a tension, that is a point of growth for you. Your energy, your soul is aching for that growth. It's aching for that change. Something that comes up for me with my sacred slut is I love...

group stuff and I love having group sex and I love doing shared stuff with my partners and every time I go to share my partners some semblance of jealousy some semblance of real intensity comes up for me and instead of shying away from it I lean into it because I know that because I have this desire there is some part of me that wants to heal wants to heal my relationship with jealousy wants to heal my relationship with other women

Sage (32:24.898)
that wants to heal my relationship and my partnerships, there is something in me that's asking to be healed, which is why I have a desire to explore something that makes me feel so discomforted. And so when you step into your sacred slut, expect those moments to come up. Expect yourself to have to be dealing in that polarity regularly. And be gentle with yourself as you're going through this. As you engage more pleasure, as you unpack more shame,

Be gentle with yourself as you go through that process so you have the ability to sustain and integrate long term.

I hope this episode was helpful for you. I love talking about the sacred slut. think it's so fun and yummy and juicy and so important. This was the end of my first kind of scripted five episodes that I've put together and so now I am thinking about what I want to do next and so if you want to drop a comment and let me know what you would like to see next from this podcast I would be super interested to hear from you.

because I am thinking about some topics, but also how I want to frame those topics. And then I also want to be in community with you all. I want to be talking about the things that you all want to be talking about. I'm thinking about maybe just getting on here every two weeks and just talking about my life and talking about what's been kind of going on. But I don't know. So let me know in the comments what you think might be good. And I would love to collaborate with you in the comments about that.

And as always, if you're looking for things to do intimacy-wise in Austin, please don't forget to check out our website and our offerings. And wherever your longing leads you, I hope you stay turned on by your truth.