Where We Bloom

Where do you feel most like yourself?

For many of us, the answer isn’t what we initially thought. Sometimes, we don’t flourish in ideal homes or meticulously planned seasons. Instead, we find our growth in heartbreak, healing, and even in small kitchens with dishes in the sink and a dog at our feet.

In this week’s episode of Growing WildFlowers, we delve into the concept of real growth, which often unfolds quietly. We explore how to honor the places that shaped us, even if we didn’t choose them.

We share stories of resilience, softness, and the ability to bloom in challenging circumstances. We reflect on the following:

•  What it truly means to grow emotionally, beyond just physical growth.
• The quiet strength found in surviving experiences that didn’t break us.
•  How to support others in their journey of growth.

No matter where you currently find yourself, we hope this episode serves as a reminder that you don’t need perfect conditions. All you need is light, care, and time.

Transcript

Will 0:03

What's up, wild ones? Welcome to Growing Wildflowers, the podcast where we talk all things parenting, pets, purpose, and a beautiful mess in between. I'm Will.

Neesh 0:12

And I'm Niche, and today's episode is called Where We Bloom. It's a conversation about growth that kind of happens naturally. And we think it's perfect time with the seasons changing from summer to fall.

Will 0:24

Yes. We're talking about the places, people, and seasons that have helped us grow, even when they didn't look or feel ideal. And how sometimes you don't even realize you're blooming until you look back.

Neesh 0:40

Right.

Will 0:40

With that said, I remember when we were expecting our first child. We had been married at that point for a couple years. And I got the news that my father had passed away. As you can expect, this was one of the most challenging periods of my life. See, my father and I did not have a lot of time shared together since he and my mom were separated a couple years after I was born. However, when he passed, I was forced to reflect on the times we had together. And I felt a ton of gratitude because when I look back at these moments, everything became clear to me. My father was a great one in his own special way. Because despite his absence, he's instilled in me some of the core values I still hold dearly today. I reflected on how no matter how much time had fallen in between us, when we were together, he managed to make me feel like I was with my biggest fan. And not only that, but I was the most amazing person that walked the planet. This was obvious because wherever we went together, every single person who knew him knew who I was. And he would say something like, Here he is, this is my son. I told you, look at him. That's mine right there. It was like being on a float in a parade, and everyone couldn't wait to see me and greet me. He also always spoke with such intensity about the importance of family integrity, and most of all, my position as a future king. So, although he did not get to meet my first child as she was born just two months before his passing, he made me realize the importance of not just the quantity of the time spent with her, but the quality I should bring to every moment we get to share together. Because those memories will last forever.

Neesh 3:07

Yeah, for sure. You know, that was the season when everything felt uncertain, but it ended up being one of the biggest growth moments of your life, our life. What I realized was we are in those hard moments, like grieving. Um, but showing up for your spouse means being very quiet, listening, and loving on them. You've shared so much of yourself growing up, and I got to learn and know another side of you. It is also important to be patient and give grace to your partners in their time of need. I will definitely admit though, it was challenging because you don't want to say the wrong thing or be too quiet, but I was able to help you through it and still find the joy around us to realize and learn that we do heal, we do change, and we will still bloom is what matters.

Will 4:10

Right. It wasn't a garden yet, it was barely a crack in the concrete, but I bloomed there. And I think a lot of us do. It's important to note that in most cases, blooming occurs when we least expect it. Not in perfect homes or well-planned seasons. We bloom in heartbreak, in healing, in tiny kitchens with dishes in the sink and a baby in your arms. But don't think this is something that can only be witnessed in hindsight. If you pay attention and practice mindfulness, you may catch a glimpse of self-blooming. Because honestly, we're still blooming today, right, Niche?

Neesh 5:01

Yes. And you know that the seasons are changing, is usually when I feel like I need a change or a recharge. Especially in my case, trying to keep up with the kids and homework, clubs, and sports. With the amount of sleep our two-month-old is allowing or not allowing, it's kicking my butt. I did one night find myself scrolling IG, or it might have been the very early morning. I came across a mom's page who sets up walks in my area. I was unsure, but after seeing it for a couple weeks, I finally went. Kids almost late to school, and I forgot my water for the walk. So it took everything to make myself still go. And I was so glad I did because it was nice. The leaves were changing colors, and I was able to get out of the house, get some fresh air, and have conversations with other moms. Well, it was interesting because we've been to this park before, but we've never walked the trail, and the scenery was so beautiful. So we're going to have to make time for all of us to go.

Will 6:32

Yeah, absolutely. We'll do. And I was actually very excited for you as well, taking that opportunity, sticking to what your convictions was as far as trying to make it happen and getting it done.

Neesh 6:45

Thanks for the little nudge, too.

Will 6:48

See, not perfect, not easy, but it was still powerful.

Neesh 6:54

Yeah. So what does where we bloom actually mean to you?

Will 7:01

It means the emotional soil we grow in, not always soft, not always safe, but still ours.

Neesh 7:12

Yes. And sometimes the bloom isn't dramatic, it's small moments, quiet, like forgiving someone or apologizing when you're wrong, or even showing up more than once for someone. Don't forget that being married, we still need to show up for each other. I guess you noticed I needed a break and said, why don't I go upstairs for a while? That break ended up being just enough because I did need one, but didn't say it.

Will 7:47

Yeah. I just could tell. And sometimes showing up for each other isn't always communicated verbally. Sometimes you just gotta be aware enough of your partner because you know them. You understand without words, like, hey, let me help you out. I'm noticing this, and provide that support and whatever you think might be the best way to do that in that moment. In this case, it was just like, why don't you get some rest? It looks different depending on what's happening. The key is being mindful and being aware.

Neesh 8:31

Exactly. Can we talk about blooming in hard places? Like when you're exhausted, it's hard, tiring, and confusing at times, but how can we bloom in this? Well, I'm here to tell you it is possible, and you need to take all those small wins because they count. Sometimes taking a 10-minute nap can help. Opening windows, getting some fresh air. Even if you go outside, all of the little moments add up, just like blooming doesn't happen all at once. A flower will open slowly, gracefully, and peacefully when it's ready.

Will 9:13

That's the deepest kind of growth. It's not shiny, but so real. And sometimes being held by others, even just a little bit, gives you what you need.

Neesh 9:28

This leads us to how we help others bloom. Encouragement is like light, and in this case, boundaries are soil, community can be water. But also remember that flowers don't compare themselves to other flowers. They bloom where they are planted.

Will 9:47

Okay, so let's elaborate. Let's dive a little deeper. Encouragement is light, it means that offering support, positivity, and motivation to others acts like sunlight for a plant. It illuminates the path forward, providing energy and warmth that helps someone grow, thrive, and reach their full potential. Just as light guides and sustains life without pushing or forcing it, encouragement gently instills confidence and development in those who receive it.

Neesh 10:22

Boundaries are soil. This metaphor means that the boundaries provide the foundational support for growth. Just like soil does for a plant. Healthy soil anchors roots, delivers nutrients, and creates a stable environment where the growth can happen. Like personal and social boundaries give individuals a sense of security, structure, and protection. They will also define the space in which someone can grow freely, preventing harm and creating the conditions for a healthy relationship and even personal development.

Will 11:00

Right. So getting your own space matters. Don't feel bad when you gotta separate, when you need to get your isolation on and really process and give yourself that time.

Neesh 11:15

Yes.

Will 11:16

All right. And community is water. That means community nourishes and sustains growth just like water does for plants. It allows people to thrive, offering support and connection that helps them flourish without forcing their pace. Community surrounds and nurtures, filling the spaces where encouragement and boundaries already exist, enabling everyone to bloom naturally.

Neesh 11:43

Just like my walk, I'm starting to build a community.

Will 11:46

Yes, just like your walk.

Neesh 11:48

All right. Bloom blast.

Will 11:51

This is the slow bloom edition, one question at a time with room to breathe, answering a sentence, then we'll go one layer deeper. Okay. With that said, close your eyes. Picture the last place you felt like your truest self. What did it smell like? What did you hear? Hold that image. Now let's begin. All right, niche. When did you feel most connected to our family recently?

Neesh 12:23

The most connected I felt recently was going on a walk where there were wildflowers and we had a good time. We were looking at butterflies and bees, and there was even a grasshopper. It was such a nice day that day.

Will 12:45

Okay. Got it.

Neesh 12:47

My turn. What season of your life taught you how to bloom in unlikely soil?

Will 12:56

Fresh out of high school, getting ready and going into college. I really had a turning point in my life. Had been an athlete all the way up until that point, playing football, basketball. And then that door was closed on me. I really had to figure out what was next for myself. I really wanted to lean into my academics, and I did. That pretty much became my superpower. I knew so much more about myself when I made that transition. That would definitely be the space where I bloomed. All right. What's one small thing someone did for you that mattered more than they know?

Neesh 13:39

When you give me that nudge of support and you say you can do it, you got this. You give me reassurance a lot of times when I doubt myself. Yeah.

Will 13:56

Okay. Follow-up question. How will you thank them today?

Neesh 14:00

Oh, well, thank you. Okay, so what is one belief you're outgrowing and one you're growing into?

Will 14:12

One belief. I would have to say definitely the belief that everything has to be perfect right away. Like everything that I wanted to do at one point or another, I always thought like it had to be just right. But what I've grown into is the understanding that one, I believe that perfection is in the pursuit of it. And with anything, the first thing you have to do is start. Begin the journey. And doing that, you begin that pursuit for perfection. Looking for perfection on the outset only delays your progress, only delays you starting. So that is something that I've definitely grown into, and it has definitely supported me and my growth.

Neesh 15:17

I can see that.

Will 15:20

All right, Nish. What do you need more of and less of in this season of your life?

Neesh 15:30

That's a good question. I need less doubt from myself and more of just getting it done, setting the goals, executing them, making sure that I keep going and don't doubt myself.

Will 15:57

Awesome.

Neesh 15:57

Okay, all right. I've got three quick questions that you have to answer.

Will 16:03

Three.

Neesh 16:03

Yes. Quiet morning or late night talk.

Will 16:09

Late night talk.

Neesh 16:10

Advice or a listening ear.

Will 16:17

Listening ear.

Neesh 16:18

Slow growth or sudden breakthrough?

Will 16:22

That's a good question. I'm gonna be honest. Normally I would say slow growth, but in the season that I'm in right now, sudden breakthrough is definitely my go-to for this one.

Neesh 16:36

Okay, slow bloom is complete.

Will 16:40

So if you're listening to this and feeling unsure or stuck, maybe you're blooming quietly, invisibly, but surely.

Neesh 16:51

Feel free to send us any of your answers to our slow bloom, any bloom moments you want to share. Remember to subscribe to our podcast and follow us on IG at the underscore wildflower web.

Will 17:07

Until next time, stay rooted, stay wild, and don't forget to make room for your bloom.