Ep 28: Claim your Seat at the Table - Elevate your Leadership Through Message, Presence, and Connection

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Do you struggle to be heard in meetings—even though you’re highly capable?

Do you find yourself over-explaining, softening your message, or holding back in high-visibility moments?

In this episode of The Bold Life School Podcast, Jamesyn breaks down how mid-career women can strengthen confident communication, executive presence, and leadership influence—without becoming louder, more aggressive, or less authentic.

This episode is for women navigating career growth, promotions, leadership roles, or business visibility who want to communicate with clarity, authority, and confidence in professional settings.

You’ll learn The Confident Communication Method—a proven framework built on Clarity, Confidence, and Connection—and how to apply it in real-world work scenarios.

In this episode, you’ll learn how to:

• Communicate with clarity and authority at work
• Build executive presence without changing your personality
• Stop over-explaining, apologizing, and second-guessing yourself
• Script difficult conversations around promotions, compensation, workload, and boundaries
• Lead with confidence in meetings, cross-functional teams, and executive conversations
• Increase professional visibility, influence, and leadership impact
• Define your next career level and begin showing up for it now

This conversation draws directly from Sessions 7–8: Rise Into Leadership inside The Bold Life Method 12-Week Accelerator, where women strengthen leadership identity, executive communication skills, and strategic influence.

Ready to Elevate Your Career or Leadership Presence?

If you know your communication style, confidence, or visibility is holding you back from your next level, personalized support can help.

✨ Book a free Clarity Call to discuss your career goals, leadership challenges, and next strategic move:

👉 www.theboldlife.coach

Leadership isn’t about being louder.

It’s about being clear, confident, and connected.

Transcript

Hello Bold Friends.

Today we're diving into one of my absolute favorite topics Inside the Bold life method, my 12 week accelerator. For all of you ambitious women looking to elevate in your next chapter.

If you're looking to improve your presence and your influence in a professional environment,

whether it is your corporate job or your personal business,

this episode is for you. We're here to talk about confidence in communication,

leadership, presence,

influence,

power,

or in plain English,

how to speak in a way that people actually feel trust,

respect and want to follow you without shrinking over, explaining or doubting yourself in the process.

If you're stepping into a bigger role,

preparing for a promotion,

leading people,

or just simply tired of feeling like you are less than the highly competent woman in the room whose voice gets heard because you are doing everything too softly,

too nicely,

this episode is for you.

This is the exact work we do in sessions seven and eight of the Bold Life Method.

I can't wait to share it with you. You can find the link to the promo for that in the show notes.

Let's get to it.

Welcome to the Bold Life School,

the show that empowers you to elevate your life and to step into your full potential. I'm your host Jameson and this is where ambition meets authenticity. Where you'll find find the tools and inspiration to grow, evolve and thrive.

Each week we dive into powerful topics that challenge the status quo. Whether it's to break through limiting beliefs, navigate life's transitions, or embrace the bold moves that push you beyond your comfort zone.

Now let's get into today's episode.

We could have a year long discussion about professional communication.

So today let's just keep it simple. Let's start with a simple framework.

It's about clarity,

it's about confidence, and it's about connections.

These three elements completely change the way you communicate in your work life.

Especially in the moments where it matters most.

When you're advocating for a promotion, for budget,

for headcount,

when you're having difficult conversations as a new manager,

getting agreement with a peer or a stakeholder,

having to say no,

communicating boundaries,

providing pushback when you are not in agreement and people are over your personal line,

leading up or leading across when you've got cross functional groups you want to influence without coming across as a know it all or acting like you're their manager.

When you're a manager,

making sure that your message gets across effectively without coming across as a dictator or a micromanager.

When speaking to executives and influencing a room,

most people think they have a communication problem but really they have a clarity problem that creates a confidence problem,

which then kills connection.

In the middle of all that,

you've got all of your distracting and annoying little habits that are keeping people from hearing you.

So let's break it down.

Number one,

clarity.

You've got to get clear on your messaging. It means that you know what you're saying,

you know why you're saying it,

you know what outcome you want,

and you understand what your listener wants.

Most women start communicating too soon.

They haven't done the work, they haven't clarified their message and the impact that they want to make with a specific audience.

They're not prepared.

The slides are not geared towards the audience.

We're either saying a whole bunch of everything or a bunch of nothing or literally nothing.

So you've got the first part. You know, when we completely ramble,

we soften our message or we over explain it.

We circle around the point like it's a hot stove. We're afraid to touch.

We're not really confident about the message that we're trying to portray.

And that lack of preparation there usually ends in you either speaking unclearly,

rambling about, or not speaking at all.

Some women just don't say enough.

They allow others in the room to completely dominate the conversation.

They politely raise their hand during zoom calls, which is a ****** for me.

And they rely on the pittance of others of peers to allow them into the discussion.

Any of the rooms that I have been in,

the influence has been made by people who dominate the conversation.

They assume the intent as leader of the group.

They don't feel under qualified on the topic or under qualified in comparison to the other voices in the room.

Clarity is direct. It's simple, it's grounded, it's outgoing.

Ask yourself before you say anything meaningful. What do I need to communicate here? What is the desired result?

What is not necessary to say?

What are the details I can edit out for this particular audience? Because they're not going to care about all of that dribble.

And when you have clarity,

your nervous system relaxes,

your voice steadies, your message lands.

How do you get clarity?

You practice.

You think about it.

You plan, you outline.

You think about the rebuttals that others could have. You put yourself in the position of the listener and think about what it is that they want to know and they want to walk away from this situation with two,

confidence.

Have you ever found yourself in a room with a bunch of seemingly brilliant individuals but felt too intimidated?

You're intimidated because you think, oh, they Must know more. I'm going to sound stupid when the reality is that everyone feels intimidated, everyone feels unsure of their position,

no matter how high on the ladder that they've climbed. The reality is, is that the higher we climb,

the more lack of surety we feel because we're constantly being challenged all of the time.

So for you to feel a lack of confidence,

that's normal.

Confidence isn't a personality trait,

it's a practice.

It's another word for prepared and confident. Communication is built on speaking in clear, complete sentences,

eliminating all of those disclaimers like, oh, sorry,

well, I think,

well, I just came here to ask a quick question.

We ask,

we ask for things,

but we make constant apologies for stepping up to the plate and being bold.

Confidence is trusting your own expertise,

understanding that a lot of the challenging work that you're doing in teams is new for everyone.

And everyone brings a different skill set to the team, and that is the beauty of it. Learning from one another,

sharing knowledge. I can always remember being more partial to independent work,

but it was only after graduating into management and people leadership for several years that I really understood the value of a team and the different perspectives and skill sets that everyone brings.

And I cannot tell you that in that process of understanding the value of teamwork,

I cannot tell you how much that led me also to gain confidence,

knowing that I have my own skill set I'm good at, that I don't need to act like I know everything,

and that the whole purpose of having a team is that we rely on different people for their own expertise and their own areas of expertise.

We do not have to be the end all, be all for everyone. We should not be able to know everything that is necessary to solve complex problems. And that is the beauty in leadership.

You hire people,

you bring on additional stakeholders who can fill in all of the gaps in your skill set, and that brings you confidence not just with yourself,

but with your whole offering which is well outside yourself.

Confidence is breathing before you respond.

Taking a beat.

I can remember a time when I always felt like, oh, I was cornered.

When someone asked me a question about something, I felt like I needed to come back with an answer right in that moment. And because I felt the need to do that, of course my answers were not put together well.

The reality is, is that when you admit that you need some time to think more about it, people think more of you and you have time to put together a good thought before answering.

So with that in mind,

take a beat.

Similarly,

confidence is about letting your message stand you don't necessarily have to have everyone in the room agreeing with you.

You don't need to give 14 backup explanations about your idea.

Is it good to come with evidence?

Yes. Is it good to come with support?

Yes. Is it good to come with clarity to show that you've been thinking about all of the different perspectives and how you can overcome any objections?

But you don't need to be loud, you don't need to own the room. You don't need to be extroverted, you don't need to be fire and brimstone assertive.

You just need to be self assured,

prepared,

intentional and present.

Confidence is created by how you prepare, but presence is created by how you show up in the room.

Which brings us to the third element and that is connection.

Connection's important because it's where leadership influence comes alive. It's people to people.

It's interpersonal intelligence.

It's not simply about being likable or having generic interactions with people on the daily,

but connection is about allowing yourself to be seen,

which I see as a big one for women out there.

Especially in working with highly engineered driven stakeholders on my projects,

I find it quite fascinating. I see very astute women who I would describe as just being like their book Intelligence in Math, Science, analytics and things like that I just would describe as well beyond my skill set.

So when you look at them in that area,

you think to yourself,

this is a **** smart woman.

And that woman barely speaks up at meetings.

And when she does it is sometimes meek or it comes across as just very soft and non leading.

It's a different personality.

But if you want to make a connection,

you can't always be introverted. You do have to show up physically,

mentally,

verbally.

You have to allow yourself to be seen.

The other part of connection to build influence is making others feel seen.

No one likes that blow hard.

No one likes the person who dominates conversations,

bulldozes others and whatnot. Right? There's a certain aspect of connection and influence that is built through listening,

giving your full attention and respect to other opinions,

opening up the floor specifically to others to show that you value other opinions and you're not just looking for your view to get approved and moved on. Even though, and even when that may be the case,

this goes to show that there needs to be some change. It isn't all about you.

It's not.

And sometimes other people have good opinions and sometimes it would behoove you to show that you care about those opinions and actually bring them into your thought process.

Figure out how they could make your own ideas better and collaborate to connect with the greater audience and the greater need for the initiative you're working on.

Connection is about grounding your communication in empathy,

reading the room,

showing how you understand what other people feel, feeling empathy, adjusting your energy to fit the space speed of the room.

We've all heard about mirroring others.

Well, hopefully.

But the idea is, is that when natural communication synchronicities occur,

you'll find two folks in conversation mimicking physical gestures.

One person puts their hand up on their chin. You'll notice the other person is doing the same thing.

This shows that there is some connection there. There is some symmetry in thinking.

You'll notice when communicators use negative body language as well.

My arms are crossed kind of shows that I'm just against being open,

against hearing.

Or maybe I'm moving at a volume 10 and the room is moving at a volume 6.

I'm going to be standing out and not in a way that is probably good for the group, unless the group is literally dead and needs to be revived and impassioned by you.

Connection's about creating trust.

And trust is derived when people feel like they can count on you and feel like they can believe in you and feel like you are one of the group. And I'm not saying that I think that we should all dumb ourselves down so that we are a bunch of sheep in a herd and we're all working together.

No, that's definitely not how influence and innovation on new ideas happens.

However,

it is good for the group and for the safety of the group to give the feeling that you are trustworthy and that you're willing to trust others.

Right? And to some extent that it that means mirroring,

meeting people where they are adjusting your energy and just being kind.

The last thing I'll talk about in terms of connection is partnering rather than performing.

This happens a lot when we have to give leadership or sales presentations,

right?

When you are not connecting efficiently,

it's almost as though you're talking at your audience.

You might be moving too quickly.

You are not pausing for questions,

you're not asking for feedback,

you're not dialoguing. It's all a monologue.

And when a monologue occurs,

you are not connecting with your audience.

Unless you're Lady Gaga or Taylor Swift or something. Then people are solely here to listen for you.

But when leaders connect,

people listen differently. They feel cared for, they feel safe,

they feel engaged, they feel led.

So the confident communication method is this one.

Get super clear on your message.

Two,

deliver it confidently,

and three,

lead through connection to people.

This is the framework we'll practice over and over inside my 12 week accelerator called the Bold Life Method.

Now, let's be honest. No one wakes up excited about difficult conversations about high stress presentations.

If you do, I'm happy for you. This is probably not even necessary for you.

Most people avoid them,

soften them, or rehearse in their head so much that by the time they're in the actual moment, they've forgotten what they wanted to say. They're twisted around.

It's overwhelming. Hard conversations are where your clarity and confidence matter the most.

So let's talk about three scenarios I see all the time.

And you know how you can address them?

By getting clear,

delivering confidently and leading through connection.

So the first scenario is when you're asking for money.

You know, maybe you're asking for a raise or a promotion.

I come from the corporate world and it's kind of like,

okay, do people ask for promotions? You know, we have a yearly promotion timeline and of course you can ask for that outside of it, but it is a fairly rigid structure.

You could also be asking for money for projects like I do a lot.

In fact,

right now I'm asking for over double the amount that I originally asked for. Asked for a project and I am just going for it boldly.

And so we'll see how this one turns out and I'll share it with you later.

But with the old script, you might say something like,

you know, I was hoping we could talk about maybe potentially the position of the possibility of a promotion.

Right. There's a lot of rambling in there.

There's a lot of I was hoping or you know, potentially,

or you know, the possibility of these weakening phrases.

Right. Whereas a new script of clarity and confidence based on per, based on preparedness would look something more like this.

Based on my performance,

my impact on X and Y,

and the leadership I've demonstrated over the past several years, I'd like to discuss what you think my next level opportunities are and a timeline for a promotion.

What are the shifts here?

I've been direct,

I've been grounded in facts and bringing support,

which is always appreciated.

Right. Your impact on X and Y,

the leadership I've just demonstrated,

et cetera.

And you're outcome oriented.

Next level opportunities and timeline,

getting specific,

getting fearless,

getting bold in how you ask for things such as money,

budget,

a raise, etc. Is a game changer.

Bringing the facts,

bringing the statistics,

bringing the value and the reasons can make all of the difference.

Making a connection to your leader,

or maybe it is your boss to clarify.

Common ground,

common initiatives, common care topics,

common hopes and dreams and objectives can make all of the difference.

Second scenario, you want to push back on workload,

clarity,

confidence and connection.

One way to be seen is to offer help.

But we do all have our limits.

Oftentimes I see highly ambitious,

motivated,

high achieving women wanting to do everything on the job to show their value.

But I also see these same women drowning under the workloads that they're doing, especially, especially over certain populations of our workforce to prove that they are capable.

They often have to do more to show that they are capable than their constituents.

So at the end of the day, we need to utilize boundaries,

we need to push back.

And there's a way to do that. The old script,

you know, somebody asks you, your boss tells you, hey, you know, we got this presentation coming up, oh whoopsie, it's on Tuesday,

you know, it's like two business days away and they're asking for your support. The old script is saying something like, well, I mean,

sure, I can try if no one else can do it. You know, I'm already kind of slammed. But yeah, yeah, not saying, not really saying anything, not pushing back,

just sucking it up. And this can be great for your career.

Sometimes it is necessary to push harder, to do more hours,

to go above and beyond, but not every time, right? So when you truly need to push back on the workload,

where's a new script for that? You could say something like,

well,

I'm currently at capacity with A, B and C.

A and B seem like high priorities.

Maybe you can help me determine what the top priorities are though, with this new job that you've brought to the table.

If this initiative is the priority,

I'll need help in shifting or delegating some of my existing work.

What are your thoughts on that?

So the translation here is that you are professional,

you're collaborative,

you're clear on what your limits are.

You're acknowledging that you're focused on priorities and opening up the court for your leader to help you redistribute the work that you've got going to fit their needs.

You're not apologizing,

you're not dunking yourself under,

you're not giving up your vacation,

you're not giving up your sleeve,

but you're looking for assistance with competing priorities,

understanding that Your goal is 100% full time effort,

not 125% full time effort.

So it's better to execute well on the vile priorities than to mishandle too many items or to become too burnt out on these items.

Making the personal connection with your boss or, or whoever it is that you're talking about boundaries with here is important.

It's being truthful. You're being honest, but you're still being professional.

You're not coming in and ******** and moaning about how you're not able to keep up, right? This gives the idea that maybe you aren't quite up for the job.

Instead,

you're showing the evidence of A, B and C. I'm working hard at these things previously determined to be priorities. And if we want to change those priorities,

let's get real about it, let's get clear.

And any decent manager leader person is going to understand that and value your ability to bring to the table your concerns,

your competing priorities,

your evidence to help you come to a good solution.

So the third scenario is addressing a boundary or a mismatch issue. Maybe it is a work style issue,

a process issue,

how you want to work together or do things with someone and come across as clear,

confident and collaborative.

So with your old script,

you might find yourself saying things like,

I don't want to be difficult or you know,

you know, you may not agree with this, but. Or I just feel like maybe,

you know, there have been some times when a lot of weak,

apologetic,

beating around the bush type of language. Whereas the new script should be more direct,

more clear, more outcome focused. For example,

I want to share something with you because our collaboration matters to me.

Recently I've noticed X and it impacts why.

Here's what I'd like going forward.

A script like this still honors connection,

right? You're letting that person know it matters to you,

but that you want it to also honor you.

And so you're bringing it to the table. You're being clear. I've noticed X behaviors and that is behavior focused. It is not pointing fingers. You are a whatever.

You don't do whatever, right?

You're focusing on measurable behavior, measurable behaviors and the impacts of those measurable behaviors.

You're being clear you had to have thought out those ideas that you wanted to share in advance.

You're being direct and exuding confidence and you're forming a connection because not only are you sharing that it matters to you,

how you work together,

but that it matters enough to you to bring it to light because you want a strategic partnership to go well and you understand that sometimes you've got to have the hard conversations to move forward.

It's all about figuring out how you want to be experienced in a room.

Having presence is not just your outfit.

It's not just your volume. It's not being senior or seeming like you have confidence just because of your seniority in the room.

Your presence is your total energy signature.

It's the answer to this question.

How do I want to be experienced?

How do I want to be viewed in terms of my message?

How do I want to be viewed in terms of my confidence level?

And how do I want to be viewed as a partner and collaborator?

Do you want to be seen as grounded,

strategic, steady, visionary? Warm but firm?

Scary but funny,

Approachable but not accommodating,

creative and thoughtful?

Think about the image of that leadership that you are actually trying to protect portray in the room.

And then think about your reality that you've been bringing and where is the disparity?

Here's the truth. People respond to you before you even open up your mouth.

Leadership comes with you into the room.

How are you breathing? How are you pacing? How are you posturing?

Do you seem certain?

What is your facial expression saying? What is your bodily expression saying?

Are you closed off?

Are you open?

Are you welcoming?

Are you quiet and put off?

How about your ability to pause?

Do you just talk at people?

Or are you inviting a two way conversation?

And how about your willingness to take up space? Space?

Do you look like you're comfortable and confident and belong in the room or not?

Presence is practiced inside. Sessions 7 and 8 of my 12 week accelerator. We do this in real time. I teach you how to get into a room, how to have your energy speak up in line with how you want to speak up before your words actually do.

Next is strategic career elevation.

What do you want in the next level now that you've got the tools or we've been talking about them and you're looking at how you are communicating through your message when you walk into a room.

We need to talk about strategy.

Is everyone women?

Every woman listening to this has a next leadership layer waiting for her.

Everyone wants something. They want to level up somehow.

But being clear about it is very important.

You're not confused.

You might be under titled. You might be under advocated for by yourself and for yourself.

Maybe you're under supported. Sure,

there are a lot of opportunities for improvement when you're looking to get to your next strategic career elevation.

Ask yourself what lights me up in my current job?

Or what would light me up in another job? What is it that lights me up?

Where do I currently feel underutilized?

What should I be doing instead of what I am doing all of the time?

Where are my initiatives for personal growth or professional growth getting shoved under the rug for other people's needs?

Where's my potential being kept?

Is the plant best place for me this environment?

Or would I have better potential for growth elsewhere?

What leadership traits am I already demonstrating and getting real with myself? What leadership traits am I lacking? Could I do better if I were to develop?

And what's the bold move I know I need to make? Like where are you fooling yourself?

You know, are you really happy in this ongoing position with no promotions?

Or maybe it is a boring subject matter or the tasks just aren't in line with what you enjoy doing.

What bold move do you know that you should could would be doing if you had the audacity?

Because leadership and careers don't just happen,

they are designed. And one thing I emphasize inside my 12 week accelerator is that leadership is not just the next wrong on the ladder of boring that you've already picked because it works and it's convenient and it makes you a decent salary.

It is a full identity expansion into discovering what is the type of leader that I want to be?

How do I want to act in a room?

How do I want to be perceived?

What has got to change and where could it take me into the future?

One of the biggest elements about elevating a career, elevating your leadership, elevating your communication,

is about visibility.

It's about networking and support. It is about people.

You cannot rise to your next level without a community of people around you.

And here's the truth most women avoid.

You can't rise in your career without visibility.

I've heard this in the past from my own leader because I was the last of a few granted or grandfathered into remote work after Covid.

It definitely comes with a downside and that is lack of visibility.

If you aren't around to showcase your impact,

are you providing impact?

That's a question.

I've made it a point to be visible on a regular basis in these groups, in presentations where someone is invited to talk,

et cetera.

To make it a point to show up with my best self, to represent myself, to be visible.

You can't influence if you aren't visible, if you aren't connecting with people,

if they aren't seeing your value, your impact,

your contribution.

You can't grow without support as people.

Visibility. It's not just self promotion, but it's self representation.

Networking isn't collecting people or a cheesy way to have small talk.

It's building strategic aligned partnerships,

stakeholders,

common interests,

support systems and support isn't weakness,

it's the infrastructure of a successful career. Your next level will require having people advocate for you,

getting a mentor,

collaborating and having relationships with your peers,

and getting sponsorship both formally and informally in spaces where you are not the only one holding your growth.

You need people to influence alongside on behalf of you and with you.

Today we've talked about communication,

becoming more clear,

becoming more confident and building connections.

I want you as a takeaway, to think about one area where you are having difficulty expressing yourself,

getting your point across,

building influence.

Maybe it's at your job,

maybe it is at a volunteership that you've been involved in.

Maybe it's a relationship, a partnership.

But let's take a look at one of those difficult conversations that you've been avoiding and define one leadership trait that you you want to embody there more intentionally to solve whatever it is that you've been avoiding in this conversation.

Take one action. What is one visibility action that you can take,

big or small,

to improve the nature of this relationship,

to improve your ability to influence, to be heard,

to show that you are confident and clear in your message and that you are connecting and wanting to be connected in partnership with another.

Remember, leadership isn't a title.

Leadership is how you show up.

It's your presence,

it's your connection,

it's your interest and belonging all rolled up together in how you present yourself every day.

If this episode lit up something inside you, if your next level is calling you and you know you're meant to lead with more presence,

if you want to come across as more confident,

with a bigger voice, with a louder self expression, I'd love to support you.

This is exactly the work we do in my the bold life method. 12 week accelerator and sessions 7 and 8 are all about helping you rise into the leader you already are.

Figuring out what is the next level for you and how to get there.

If you are interested, it's opening soon and you can always book a free Clarity call with me at www.theboldlife.coach.

let's talk through it. Your leadership goals, your next bold move,

what support looks like for you. Until next time,

stand tall, Stand boldly and remember,

your presence is powerful long before you say the word you are a bad *****. It is just about understanding the power that you have and the influence that you can hold.

If you enjoyed today's episode, head over to TheBoldLife Coach for more resources.

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