Cassie: The C in TLC — Holding it Together with Duct Tape

This episode is a big one — and not the polished, highlight-reel version of life. It’s the real stuff.

In this deeply personal conversation, Cassie opens up about one of the most intense periods of her life, diving head-first into mental health, depression, and suicide prevention. From feeling like she didn’t quite belong as a kid (turns out that wasn’t just teenage angst), to becoming a mum very young, navigating marriage, motherhood, chronic stress, and multiple rounds of depression — this episode traces the long, messy, very human road that led to her darkest moment… and what brought her back.

Cassie shares what it actually feels like to fall apart while still showing up — going to work, paying bills, looking “fine” on the outside while everything inside is screaming. She talks about the near-breakdown that forced her to finally say the words out loud, the people who stepped in when she couldn’t stand anymore, and the uncomfortable truth that sometimes staying alive is a day-by-day decision.

This isn’t a “just think positive” episode. It’s about speaking up, asking for help (even when it feels impossible), and understanding that falling apart doesn’t mean you’re broken — it means you’re human. There are tears, hard truths, dark moments… and yes, a bit of Cassie humour along the way, because sometimes you either laugh or you lose it completely.

If you’ve ever felt like you’re holding everything together with duct tape, this one’s for you. And if you’re in the thick of it right now — please know this: you are not weak, you are not alone, and this story is proof that even when everything collapses, there is another side.

Content warning: This episode discusses mental health, depression, and suicidal ideation. Please listen with care.

Episode Timeline

00:00 – Welcome & why this conversation matters
 01:24 – Childhood, not belonging & early survival mode
 04:42 – Becoming a mum young (and growing up fast)
 06:43 – Family life, pressure & invisible stress
 09:31 – Depression, coping, and learning how to keep going
 12:13 – Marriage, motherhood & personal challenges
 16:22 – Work, identity & carrying it all
 24:30 – Big life shifts & reflection
 31:49 – Health scare out of nowhere
 32:02 – Cyclone hits Groote Eylandt
 32:28 – Job loss & uncertainty
 33:11 – Determination (and sheer stubbornness)
 34:24 – The drive to Adelaide
 35:32 – When mental health really unravels
 35:57 – Friends, family & being caught when you fall
 37:27 – Rock bottom
 39:44 – Asking for help & the slow climb back
 47:36 – Looking back with clarity
 01:03:56 – A message of hope (and truth)
 01:08:00 – Closing mantra & moving forward

Transcript

Lauren:
The time has come to learn more about Cassie — the “C” in TLC. So we’re up here in the Caravan of Courage, on Lauren’s property in Woodside at Eco Play. Where do we start, Cassie?

Cassie:
Yeah, I’ve been thinking about that. It’s a long journey.

Lauren:
Yeah.

Cassie:
Where to start… I guess how I want to start is that I’ve just been through one of the most intense experiences of my life and come out on the other side. And through that, a huge passion has arisen for me — mental health and suicide prevention.

So backing right up from that, we’re probably going to talk about my life a bit, my journey, and how I’ve kind of got to this point and what it means to me. I’m not nervous — I just feel like this is so intensely important to me. It means a lot.

I don’t want to be guarded about what I say, but I want to be careful, because it’s so important. So we’ll go back to the start.

As a little girl, I’m going to say a lot that people probably haven’t heard before — about me, my kids, probably you guys. When I was little, I always felt like I didn’t belong. Not in the sense of feeling left out, but more like I was in the wrong place. Like I wasn’t of this world.

I know that sounds weird.

Lauren:
No, it doesn’t.

Cassie:
I always remember being confused. I didn’t understand people, I didn’t understand my life. I didn’t get humans. It sounds out there, but then you go along, go to school, get indoctrinated into the matrix — whatever you want to call it — and you just become part of society.

You have trials and tribulations like we all do. It was a difficult childhood. I had love, but I also had abuse. It was extremely stressful.

I remember being in fight or flight from my earliest memory, and it probably never left.

And I just want to be really clear — this isn’t a “poor me” story, and it’s not attention seeking. It will all make sense once I get through it. I just need to give background to how we get to where I want to get to.

Everybody has had stuff happen in their life. We all have stories. We all have things that happened that were extremely stressful and sad. I’m no different.

Lauren:
That’s the point of talking about it though, isn’t it? To bring to light that many of us do have these trials and tribulations.

Cassie:
Exactly. And many of us are dealing with mental health issues. That’s the whole point of this episode.

There’s a saying I think about all the time — we’re all fighting battles that no one sees. Everyday life. We’re all doing it.

It’s the person road raging. Someone rude to you in a shop. You don’t know what’s going on. It doesn’t make it okay, but the world is so pressurised and stressful right now. People are affected by so many different things. People have lost people.

So anyway, getting back on track — I went through all the normal things. Primary school, high school, family. We all have good family, some not so good family. We all go through ups and downs.

I got married very young and had my first baby young. I had her at just on 19 and I was absolutely smitten. Best thing I ever did. I loved being a young mum and I always have.

Lauren:
She was our baby — our whole friend group’s baby.

Cassie:
Yeah. It felt like it was meant to be. It wasn’t an easy journey though. Unfortunately, her father and I didn’t stay together long. We were very young. Things happened. It fell apart.

So Lauren and I were on our own for a while. Money was tight. We had to sell the house. Lots of stress. That’s when I realised my depression started, but no one talked about it back then. There was no label.

We were on our own for a few years, moved around a fair bit, made ends meet. I had wonderful friends and family who were incredibly supportive.

Then I met a wonderful man — an amazing man — through my brother. They were in the Navy together. I was smitten, and Lauren was smitten too. We got married and my life became a bit of a fairytale. I kept thinking, “How is this happening to me?” He was amazing. He took Lauren on as his own and everybody loved him.

Lauren:
We still do.

Cassie:
We still do. You guys used to say he was the boy version of me.

Lauren:
We did.

Cassie:
He totally is. We were best friends. It was amazing.

We had two more children together. Three girls. He got out of the Navy and went into a different career path, which meant he went away a lot overseas. Amazing career.

Life happens — amazing things, and stressful things.

My second child was premature. Not outrageously premature, but she had difficulties. That’s when I had another really bad bout of depression because it was very stressful.

We were living remotely in Port Lincoln. Eight hours from Adelaide. I had complications and was flown out by the Flying Doctors. They tried to stop my labour and give steroids to help her organs develop.

At the same time, Brett had just gotten into diving and was retrenched because he stayed in Adelaide with me while I was in hospital. They said he couldn’t be there and his job was gone.

I had an emergency caesarean — major surgery. I’ve since read how much that can affect your body and your mental health. A lot of women get postnatal depression after that.

We had no money. Christmas time. A premature baby. My brother had to drive to Port Lincoln and I had to leave my daughter with a close friend while we packed up and tried to survive.

I didn’t realise it at the time, but the baby blues turned into depression. A doctor eventually said I had postnatal depression.

I’m not a dweller. I’m like, “How do we move forward?” You’ve got kids — you keep going. I ignored it and thought it would go away.

Life was good again for a while. Supportive husband, happy marriage, kids. Then I got pregnant again and it was twins — fraternal twins. I lost one twin early in utero. That’s how I found out I was pregnant.

I was still on the Depo injection and the doctor said I couldn’t be pregnant. Then I started miscarrying and went for a scan and they said, “You’re pregnant with twins.” They told me I’d lose the other twin too.

Lauren:
That’s such an emotional rollercoaster.

Cassie:
It was. For months they thought I’d lose her. Every scan I asked them to scan the other sac. You could see the baby breaking down. They couldn’t do anything because I still had the other baby.

I was intent on keeping her safe but not grieving the other. It was full on.

I got to full term. She was a couple of weeks early. The birth was fine until the cord wrapped around her neck and she wasn’t breathing for a little bit — but she was okay.

Then I moved fully pregnant from Adelaide to Western Australia with the kids on the train. The air-conditioning broke. It was summer. Oceah got an ear infection and screamed the whole way.

Lauren:
That should’ve been a sign.

Cassie:
Yeah. We lived in WA for about three years while Brett flew in and out for work. It was tough being solo with a teenager and two younger ones. I felt depression creeping back.

Then we moved back across the Nullarbor with gastro in the car.

Lauren:
That was hell.

Cassie:
Buckets lined with bin bags. We got to Ceduna and begged for an early check-in. It was horrendous.

Later I slipped a disc in my back and had chronic pain for three years. Chronic pain is a major trigger for depression. I ended up heavily medicated and zoned out. I didn’t feel happy or sad — I just didn’t care.

Eventually I came off the medication and reached out to Hilds, who built me a program around exercise, food, and routine. That program changed my life.

I want to be clear — people should do whatever they need to do: medication, doctors, psychologists. This is just my story. For me, exercise and lifestyle had a greater impact than medication.

Life went on. We moved to North Queensland for many years. The kids loved it. Then the last few years were extremely challenging. My marriage came to an end. I spiralled.

I lost my job. I lost my sense of self. I was exhausted mentally and physically. I bottomed out.

I remember laying on the floor at 4:30am in my work clothes sobbing, thinking I couldn’t do it anymore. But I got up and went to work.

Eventually I realised I wasn’t functioning. I sat outside Glenside twice thinking about checking myself in, but I didn’t want to be heavily medicated again.

I became almost catatonic.

I rang Tina.

Tina:
You sounded weird. I told you to get on a plane and come home.

Cassie:
I don’t remember the flight. But my intention was to get home, get things in order, and end it.

Lauren:
So that was your intention?

Cassie:
Yeah.

Tina:
I picked her up from the airport. She wasn’t there. Cassie was gone. I’d never seen her like that.

Cassie:
I was mad because Tina ruined my plan.

I had a house sit starting that day. I also had work with Tina. Even in that state, I showed up.

That week felt like being in a trance. I could do tasks but I wasn’t okay. The only thought was: get through the day, then you can make it stop.

One morning at work, Tina came in and said she was worried about me.

Tina:
I’d never seen you like that.

Cassie:
Eventually something snapped. I went to a chemist and bought a lot of medication. I wrote letters.

When you’re in that much pain, it cancels everything else out. You still think about your kids, trying to explain how bad it hurts.

That plan was foiled.

Then I drove around for hours trying to find somewhere no one would find me. Eventually my body just said: drive to Lauren’s.

Lauren:
You arrived and said, “I don’t want to be here.”

Cassie:
That was the first time I said it out loud.

Eventually I went to my sister’s. She put me in bed, fed me, stayed with me. I fell apart.

The cat was out of the bag. I couldn’t hide anymore. And that saved me.

I laid on the floor and said, “If I survive this, let it be for a purpose so I can help other people.”

I’m in such a good place now. Your whole life can fall apart — job, marriage, finances, everything — and you can still come out the other side.

If anyone listening feels this way, please don’t give up. Speak out. Reach out. The alternative is forever.

Tina:
This was really important to get out.

Cassie:
I’m so grateful I’m here. I’m passionate about helping others.

Tina:
You’re amazing.

Lauren:
We love you so much.

Cassie:
I love you both. Thank you for getting me through this.

I’ll finish with a mantra I wrote for myself:

The universe has a plan for all of us. Whatever it is, we can’t fight it. It is what it is. Soul contracts and previous lives are made. I now live day to day at peace and with no expectation, just grateful for the people and things that are positive in my life. I have no control over the future. I just try to be the best version of myself, work on the things I want to change or improve, build my self-worth, and help others where I can. We are all imperfect — just trying to navigate an intense but beautiful world.