Scents & Making Sense of Menopause

Recording outdoors in Glenelg (with a few distractions, dogs, babies and all), we dive into a topic we keep coming back to, fragrance.

From that moment when perfume hits the back of your throat, to public toilets that feel like a full chemical assault, we’re talking about how scent isn’t just a preference, it’s something we’re often exposed to without a choice. A bit like secondhand smoke.

We unpack what’s actually hiding behind the word “fragrance” or “parfum”, and why it can be hundreds of undisclosed chemicals, including hormone-disrupting compounds. It’s not just perfume either, it’s in cleaning products, candles, skincare, tissues, air fresheners, basically everywhere.

We also talk about how sensitivity can shift over time, especially during perimenopause and menopause, and why that might not be a bad thing.

This leads into a bigger conversation around menopause itself. What if it’s not something to fix, but a natural transition into a new phase of life? One where women step into more clarity, stronger boundaries, and the role of the “wise woman”.

We chat about the pressure to mask symptoms, the rise of HRT (and why it works for some but isn’t the only option), and the importance of actually supporting the body instead of overriding it.

There are also plenty of practical ideas, from simple natural cleaning swaps to creating your own home scents without the chemical load, and how small changes can make a big difference over time.

As always, we’re not about perfection. Just awareness, options, and having real conversations.

What we cover:

00:00 Outdoor setup in Glenelg
 00:49 Why fragrance hits so hard
 01:31 Sensitivity, tolerance and exposure
 05:03 What’s really in “fragrance”
 05:59 Public toilets and air fresheners
 06:49 How scent is everywhere
 07:19 Candles, diffusers and alternatives
 08:12 Greenwashing and making better choices
 09:56 DIY natural home scents
 14:11 Incense and car fresheners
 16:30 Natural perfume options
 17:01 Essential oils and simple swaps
 17:26 Natural cleaning ideas
 19:06 Fragrance and hormones
 19:32 Rethinking menopause
 23:04 HRT, nuance and personal choice
 25:19 Supporting your body naturally
 29:14 Where did the village go?
 31:39 Mentorship and wise women
 32:45 Herbal support and tea blends
 33:55 Final thoughts

Transcript

We are outdoors today, which already feels different.

We’re usually in a van or a room, nice and controlled, and now we’re in Glenelg, there’s construction going on, people walking past, dogs, babies… I feel very distracted.

But also, upside, no one’s trapping us in a cloud of perfume in a small space.

Which actually brings us to today’s topic, fragrance.

We’ve touched on it before, like when you sprayed perfume in the car and couldn’t breathe.

That’s not dramatic either. That happens.

I had to wind the window down straight away. I was coughing, and I sprayed it myself. That was the shocking part.

And I don’t even spray it on my skin, I do it on my clothes, but you’re still inhaling it.

The less I use it, the more sensitive I’ve become.

Same.

And then you walk past someone who has absolutely drenched themselves in it and it just hits you. It’s like an assault.

That’s the thing, you don’t get a choice.

It’s like smoking used to be.

You’re just exposed to it whether you want to be or not.

Exactly.

You walk into a public toilet and those automatic sprays go off and it’s like… I would honestly rather smell the actual toilet.

Same.

Because when it mixes together, it’s worse.

Way worse.

And the problem is, most people don’t realise what’s actually in fragrance.

When you see “fragrance” or “parfum” on a label, that can be hundreds of different chemicals, and they don’t have to disclose them because it’s considered a trade secret.

And a lot of those are endocrine disruptors.

So they interfere with your hormones.

Which becomes a big deal at certain stages of life.

Puberty, trying to fall pregnant, pregnancy, and menopause.

The last thing your body needs during those times is more disruption.

And yet it’s everywhere.

Perfume, cleaning products, candles, diffusers, toilet paper, skincare.

You can’t escape it.

And then we wonder why we’re more sensitive.

Well, tolerance plays a role too.

If you’re constantly exposed, you build a tolerance.

If you remove it and then reintroduce it, your body reacts straight away.

Like sugar, alcohol, all of it.

Exactly.

But then there’s also menopause.

Because I’ve always been sensitive to smells, but it’s definitely heightened.

And that’s actually really common.

Your body is shifting.

Your hormones are changing.

You become more sensitive to things, including smell.

But instead of seeing that as a problem, what if it’s actually your body becoming more aware?

More intuitive.

More discerning.

Because menopause isn’t a condition to fix.

We don’t try to stop puberty.

We don’t try to stop getting our period.

But menopause is treated like something is wrong with you.

Like you need to be fixed.

And that’s where things like HRT come in.

And for some women, that’s absolutely what they need, and that’s fine.

But it’s not the only option.

And it’s not addressing why the body is doing what it’s doing.

Exactly.

Traditionally, menopause was a transition into becoming the wise woman.

The mentor.

The one who holds knowledge and guides the younger women.

You’re no longer in your reproductive phase, you’re stepping into a different role.

And that’s valuable.

But now, we’ve lost that.

We’ve disconnected from that role completely.

We treat menopausal women like they’re broken, or difficult, or “hormonal”.

Or just write them off.

When really, they’ve got so much to offer.

And we’ve also lost that connection between generations.

It used to be normal to have multiple generations living together.

Knowledge was passed down.

Now everyone’s figuring it out alone.

And turning to doctors, Google, or medication straight away.

Instead of support, community, and shared wisdom.

Which doesn’t mean there’s no place for medical help.

There absolutely is.

But there are also natural ways to support the body.

Reducing your toxic load, including fragrance, is a big one.

Looking at diet, herbs, lifestyle.

Supporting, not suppressing.

Exactly.

And even with things like candles and scent in the home, it doesn’t mean you have to give everything up.

You can switch to more natural options.

Essential oils, boiling citrus peels and spices on the stove, proper attars.

You can still have beautiful smells without the chemical load.

It’s just about being more conscious.

And making choices where you can.

Because we can’t eliminate everything.

But we can reduce.

And that makes a difference.

And also, we’re not perfect.

We all pick and choose.

There are things we still do.

But it’s about awareness, not perfection.

Exactly.

So if anything, this is just information.

Take what resonates, leave what doesn’t.

But maybe next time you spray perfume, or walk into a cloud of it, you might think about it a little differently.

And if you’re heading into menopause, or already there, maybe instead of thinking something is wrong…

You’re actually stepping into something powerful.

The wise woman era.