Avoiding Self Deception

Okay, the photo for the episode was found after the episode was recorded. It just made me smile so I added it. We can often be a little more like Pinocchio than we should. But worst of all is when the person we are lying to is ourselves. This can be the hardest habit to break. 

This episode looks at 5 Passages and a Story from the New Testament about how to identify Self-Deception and how to overcome it. I will provide those below for your own personal study and followup:

I Corinthians 3:18-19 - Overestimation of my own Wisdom - Always Be Learning!

Galatians 6:3 - Over Confident in Spiritual Position - Always Be Humble!

James 1:22 - Being a Hearer Only - Do What's Right!

James 1:26 - Not Bridling the Tongue - Monitor Your Words!

I John 1:8 - Say We Have No Sin - Admit Your Mistakes!

Guess who faltered in most of these areas in a short period of time? PETER. He was a good man and went on to be a penitent man, a man of faith, and mighty for the Lord. But in a single day he let all these elements of Self Deception lead him to sin. Later Christ found him, redeemed him, and put him to work. He can do the same for us. But we also must learn to be humble, careful students. 

Transcript

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Welcome to season six of the Excel Still More Podcast. I am your host, Chris Emerson, and I am here to encourage you in your walk with the Lord, and I'm glad you've joined. Our program continues to be sponsored by Cunningham Financial Group. John is a good friend, and he's helped me and my family in everything from stock and mutual fund investing to annuities, life insurance, and retirement planning. I certainly commend him to you if you have needs in any of those areas. You can reach him at 205-326-7364. Thank you again for your ongoing encouragement and support. Let's get started. Hey, welcome to today's episode. I want to talk to you, as you can see in the title, about how to avoid self-deception, which is not easy and takes a lot of self-evaluation, and I'm hopeful that you're willing to do that with me today. Before we dig in on the details, let me tell you a little bit about how this one came together. This morning, I don't even know why. I was looking back into the earliest digital files for sermons that I had preached, and I found a file called Sermons through 2004. So every single thing in it was at least 20 years old, meaning at the latest, I was about 25 when I wrote these lessons. Now I'll go back for various reasons and do this every few years or so, and I usually find some common things. One, I find stuff that I can't believe that I said. If you've ever been a teacher or preacher, or there's any record of things that you thought and shared years ago, you often look back and wonder what in the world you were thinking. I will say though, it's not always like that. Sometimes I see some really basic fundamental ideas from scripture which remind me that I didn't just learn those five years ago, that I actually learned those in my youth and preached them in the early days, and that's always a really cool thing to find. And then every once in a while, and I mean pretty rarely, I open up something that a 22-year-old Chris wrote, and I look at it and think, I needed that way back then. And I actually put it together pretty well, and I'm glad that I did because I think I may need it even more now. And so today's title is from a sermon that I put together many years ago that I think I need even more today than ever about self-deception and how it grows in us and more importantly, what each one of us needs to do to overcome it. It's certainly a danger that goes back to the very beginning, the story of Adam and Eve. Satan did the work, but Eve helped out because she convinced herself that there wouldn't be consequences or that there was some good reason to do it. And once she had determined within herself that it was okay, there wasn't much that was going to stop her. And that's kind of what we need to work through today, making sure that our decisions are not merely about what I convince myself. Because while I hope to be trustworthy and build my life on scripture and honor my conscience, there are all kinds of conflicting things that can go on in my head and in your head, and we can lead ourselves down the wrong path. Now, that being said, defining self-deception is not easy. I did a little work on that today. I found this simple definition, self-deception, is the act of misleading oneself to believe something that is false or maybe just not fully true, often to protect one's self-esteem or avoid facing a difficult reality. And I don't know about you, but that makes sense to me. We just start thinking things through a certain way. We reason in a way that may not be accurate to what is true or what happened, and we're usually doing that out of some protection, maybe for ourselves or others. And of course, everybody makes mistakes. If you listen today and you go, oh man, I've done that. Look, we've all done that. It's about moving forward and learning to do better, and that's the ultimate tone of the episode. But I do want to lean in on the seriousness of finding out how is this happening to me and what do I need to be doing about it. I'll be sharing a series of Bible verses from the New Testament that talks about self-deception. Each one of them will help us greatly, and then we'll finish with a story in the New Testament where a really good person sort of fell for the downside of all five of those verses in very quick fashion, and I hope we can learn a few things from that event. One more thing before we jump in on that, on why I think self-deception is kind of scary, is that it differs in some ways from regular deception. I mean, you and I get deceived sometimes. There's someone who says something or presents something and it seems believable, or it brings about a better outcome for us, and so we choose to believe it. But because the source is not you, it's outside of you, you can be somewhat objective and weigh the fruits and are probably more willing to change your mind about that person. But have you noticed that that is affected by how close you are to them? The closer they are to you, the more connected you are, the more you care about them, the less likely you are to see their deception. In fact, the less likely you are to believe that they could even be deceptive. It's a little bit like your eyesight after age 40. Everything gets blurrier the closer it gets to you. Well, there is no one closer to you than you. No one you are more intimately connected with or feel for than yourself. And so the ability to stop and say, I am not being honest with myself, or things aren't exactly the way that I've been trying to represent them out of self-defense. Well, that takes a lot of humility, but how do we find that humility? That's what I want. I want the kind of internal humility that can assess all of that evenly. And that's where I think the Bible passages will help today. Each of them mentions being either deceived or deluded in oneself. And to me, they're becoming a great checklist just to evaluate where I really am. As we go through these, see if you can think of the short and devastating story of a New Testament Bible character who fits pretty much all of these, because I'm going to come back to that and tell that story at the end of the episode. Okay, our first passage is 1 Corinthians chapter 3, verses 18 and 19. The Bible says this let no man deceive himself. If any man among you thinks he is wise in this age, he must become foolish so that he may become wise. For the wisdom of this world is foolishness before God. So the problem here is overestimation of your own wisdom. If you think you know everything, and you think you understand everything, and you start to believe that those conclusions are perfect. I mean if you are wise and you understand and you get it, and there's nothing missing in your mind, then you can fully trust what you come up with, no matter what. The point being made in this chapter is that this is the way people of the world think. They need to become fools. In other words, they need to be humble enough to know that they don't understand everything, and that God is greater and the spirit is stronger. The text goes on to say in verse 20, the Lord knows the reasonings of the wise that they are useless. Now that's not saying that what you know doesn't matter. He's talking about those who deem themselves wise and they become useless because what? They can't learn. There's nothing to learn, and they're very unlikely to change. So this one hits me a little funny because again, it's from a sermon I put together at least twenty years ago. And I almost added a joke here, like that's back when I knew everything, but I don't think that was true. I think by my early twenties I realized that I knew very little, but I fully expected that if I lived another twenty years later and I was recording a podcast at age 45, that my wisdom would be through the roof. I mean, eventually you just kind of figure everything out, right? Well, that's interesting to think about today. There are things that I am more sure of than I've ever been in my life, and I think I can defend them better. I have a better understanding of myself and other people, but I've also learned in a great many examples that things I thought I knew I didn't know, and things that I thought one day I would know for sure I still don't, and that learning must continue. And I guess that's the best way to wrap up point number one. If you don't want to overestimate your own wisdom to your own fault, then never stop listening, never stop learning, and always understand and admit that you getting it wrong is always a possibility. Now, the second passage is a lot like the first one. It's found in Galatians six, verse three. For if anyone thinks he is something when he is nothing, he deceives himself. Now, where this is a little different is it's not referencing people of the world who think that they're wiser than everyone else. This has more to do with a child of God who may be overestimating their own spiritual strength. And that overestimation comes off as detrimental to those they're trying to help. Do you remember this context? Galatians 6, verse 1. Even if anyone is caught in a trespass, you who are spiritual, restore such a one in a spirit of gentleness, each one looking to yourself so that you too will not be tempted. Bear one another's burdens, and thereby fulfill the law of Christ. And then here's our verse. For if anyone thinks he's something when he is nothing, he deceives himself. But each one must examine his own work. All kinds of thoughts come to mind when I read this. We're trying to help each other get strong. We're trying to help others through their deception. But if any point along the way I elevate myself, I think that I don't have to be cautious about how I go about that, or I feel like I'm spiritually above falling into those same traps. That is setting up a double whammy failure. One, I'll end up falling in one of these traps that I thought I was spiritually evolved past, and maybe more importantly in the text, I don't end up helping this person who needed someone spiritual, yes, but also humble. There's also a little bit of interesting language in verse four about comparing ourselves to others. Each one must examine his own work, and then he will have reason for boasting in regard to himself alone and not in regard to another. I'm supposed to be helping other people, not comparing myself to them. And sometimes self-deception, where we convince ourselves of something about ourselves and who we are and how good we are, or defending something about ourselves, is found in some weird comparison to others who may be struggling in some of those same areas. So how do I avoid that? Well, our first point was always be learning, and our second point is always be humble. Always be mindful when interacting with others, even if you're trying to help them, that the devil is out to get both of you, and the one who doesn't think that he can get them is the one that he will. Now, those first two verses are really great about analyzing what's going on on the inside. Do I have a lot of pride or arrogance, or do I tend to think that I know everything? But the next couple of passages, which are found in the same chapter, James chapter one, they start to look at the output a little bit. What will be some of the outside signs that I'm suffering from self-deception? Well, let me read for you from James chapter one, where the Bible says in verse 22, prove yourselves doers of the word and not merely hearers who delude themselves. Now I'll share a little more of the context in a moment, but that word delude in the New American Standard is very similar to the word deceive. The definition is convincing yourself that something isn't true when it really is. And in the context here, it's hearing the right thing, it's knowing the right thing and not doing it. James says, that's a great way to know that internally things aren't working well. When you're taking in the truth, you know what God wants you to do. You're reading or hearing the word, and somehow you're just not doing it, and that's okay. He's saying, that's not okay. And the fact that you've deceived yourself into thinking that it is means we need to stop and reevaluate what's happening. His whole point here is you prove that that's not the case by being a doer of the word. Verse 23, if anyone is a hearer of the word and not a doer, he's like a man who looks at his natural face in a mirror. For once he has looked at himself and gone away, he has immediately forgotten what kind of person that he was. But one who looks intently at the perfect law of the law of liberty and abides by it, not having become a forgetful hearer, but an effectual doer, this man will be blessed in what he does. I've always found that imagery so useful. You look in the mirror and you're like, I need a haircut. Look at that. That's undeniable that that needs to happen. But somehow throughout the day you forget. But I don't know if it's like it got erased from your memory. It just becomes less important. It's like you choose to forget what you saw. And so because you just kind of put it away, your mind says that's not something that needs to happen, even though it is, and self-deception leads to inaction. So this comes down to some very easy instruction. Point number one today was always be learning. Point number two, always be humble. And point number three is do what's right. Now I trust your response to that isn't, hey, I always do what's right. In which case you may want to go catch the first two points again. All I'm saying is on a regular basis, when you know what the right thing to do is, if it just seems to happen over and over again that you don't do it, you have somehow convinced yourself of things that really need to change. So start by looking inwardly instead of attributing it to just outside influences and sources. Number four is also external and measurable, and it's found in the very next verse. James 1 26, if anyone thinks himself to be religious and yet does not bridle his tongue but deceives his own heart, this man's religion is worthless. So the self-deception here is kind of like this I am who I am in Christ, a Christian or religious or spiritual. I shouldn't be judged by the words that come out of my mouth. Well, in the same way earlier in the chapter, we need to evaluate our doing of the will. We also need to evaluate the things that we say. Now look, the same letter talks about how there will always be imperfections and we will always make mistakes, and no one can fully bridle the tongue. But there are two categories of people there. Some know that and admit that, and are humble and apologetic about that, and they're working on that. That's perfectly fine, that's life. Others who are deceiving their own hearts defend things that they say even when they shouldn't have said it. In their minds, everything they say is justified because they felt like it needed to be said. When others around you are going, no, it didn't, and I don't know why you can't see that, which has certainly happened to me, I have to be someone who goes, wait a minute, maybe I don't understand the import of what I'm saying, and maybe I'm defending the wrong words. That admission is very healthy, as it's a sign that you're not self-deceived, you're just a person that makes mistakes. And I think there's just an enormous difference in the end. Which I think leads us perfectly into our fifth and final passage. Just a quick walk up to that. Our points have been the following 1 Corinthians chapter 3, always be learning, Galatians chapter 6, always be humble, James chapter 1, do what's right. And also in James chapter 1, monitor that speech. The show notes will include all of those verses, some brief thoughts about the deception therein, and those little three-word tagline application points. Alright, our last passage is in 1 John chapter 1, and it says the following in verse 8, If we say we have no sin, we are deceiving ourselves and the truth is not in us. If we confess our sins, he is faithful and righteous to forgive us our sins and cleanse us from all unrighteousness. Maybe this should have been the first point, but I felt like pulling it all together, it was a good way to end it. We have to be willing to admit that we have sin. We have to be willing to call it what it is. The thing is, when we're honest with ourselves about mistakes that we've made, and we openly, verse 9, confess those things and try to make them right, I know that's scary in the moment. It may mean all kinds of scary, ugly things, like admitting that someone else was right. But when we are honest about the fact that we do sin and we're willing to talk about what it is, what we get out of that, Proverbs 28, 13, is compassion from others, and more importantly, we get cleansing and renewal by the power of Jesus Christ. That text backing up a little bit is about how fellowship with Jesus requires walking in the light. Maybe somebody says, I'm walking in the light, and you look at their life and you're like, it doesn't look like you are. I mean, look at the choices. Hey, I'm walking in the light. I know Jesus and Jesus knows me. I'm not in sin. What I'm doing is not sin. And maybe even they would go so far as to say, because of the blood of Jesus, I have no sin. Look, I'm all for confidence in our salvation, but it is our willingness to acknowledge our sin and receive his healing that keeps that confidence possible. So thought five, admit that sin. And look, I know, I know how hard that is to do, and there's this inner voice telling you you don't need to, or it's not wrong, or it'll be okay. It certainly can be okay, but don't be self-deceived on the path to better. Confession is good for the soul. All right, so that's a lesson from a early 20-something me to a 45-year-old who needed it today. No matter how all or each of those points hit you, I want you to understand that if you're struggling with self-deception, you are not a bad person. If any one of these passages defining that problem perfectly described you, that does not mean you are broken or that you are unredeemable by God. And I'll tell you one of the reasons why I know that. I know that because of a story that happened in the Gospels where a pretty good guy fell victim to pretty much all of this on the same day. Do you know which story I'm talking about? I'll just move the order of the points around a little bit, but it will describe a very difficult day in the life of a man named Peter. To start with, like Galatians 6, Peter overestimated his spiritual position by claiming to Jesus that there was no way that he would ever deny him. You probably could mix in a little James I there, where he spoke things that he wasn't able to back up. If he really wanted those convictions to come true, then he should have done the things James I that he was told to do, but in the garden when he was told to be watchful and prayerful, he got tired and didn't see the urgency and went to sleep. Later when the soldiers came, he leaned into his own wisdom and what he knew that needed to be done, and the wheels were already kind of wobbling at this point, and he pulled out a sword and cut off a soldier's ear. Later that day, you know exactly what happened. He sinned by denying the Lord one time, but he didn't notice it or see it or acknowledge it, he just kept going, and used that same mouth that professed faith in the Lord to deny him three times. Think about the measure of self deception that was working inside of Peter. He believed there was something he could do that he in fact was not ready to do. He didn't do the work to prepare well for it. As it began to happen, he jumped out and did the wrong thing. Later he spoke the wrong things and didn't even see the sin of it, at least not until the rooster crowed, and the text says that Jesus looked at him. Well that moment crushed him. Jesus saw straight to his soul and everything that was going on in him and around him. There was nowhere to hide. All of the little self deceptions that had affected Peter had been seen by Christ. But here's the thing, Judas made a lot of those same mistakes, and he went out and hanged himself. Peter waited in sorrow and fear until Jesus was raised and came to him. Peter turned back to Jesus, was more honest with himself about who he was and what he needed to do, and he went on to do amazing things. And I think that's true for you and me also. Jesus is raised, he does want to have a relationship with us, and he can use us to accomplish amazing things, even with the mistakes that we make, and we will. But there is a series of important things that you and I must be willing to do along the way. We have to make sure not to overestimate our wisdom, so we need to keep learning. We need to make sure not to overvalue our spiritual position and stay humble. We need to be sure not to just justify ourselves by what we hear and know, but also do what's right. We need to be religious and spiritual and faithful, but demonstrate that by controlling our tongues. And we need to seek to be faithful and sinless to the best of our abilities, but knowing that that is not possible, not for you or for me, we must be willing to acknowledge our sin. Or to put all that in another way, let's honor Christ by avoiding self-deception. Thank you so much for listening in today. If you enjoyed this program, will you share it with someone you care about? One thing I've learned over the years is the best way for the program to grow is for friends to tell people how valuable it's been for them. Speaking of friends, let me once again commend you to give John Cunningham a call. He and his team have a wide variety of tools to help you use your present budget and life to build towards a more secure and hopeful financial future. Once again, you can reach him at 205 326 7364. And always remember whatever you choose to do today in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ, excel still more.