Jar of Rocks

Life is busy. Everyone says this and we all mean it! So how do we keep the stress down and make sure everything important gets done? And done well?

Maybe we need to evaluate how we order elements of our lives. Maybe if we keep putting small things first, we aren't giving big things the space they need to be successful. Let's walk through a visual illustration that can help us order things well and have far less stress. 

- What happens when little things take priority over bigger things in our schedule?

- How can starting with the essential relieve stress and make our weeks more smooth?

- What about if there is just to much? How do you cut things out aren't essential?

- And what if big things in life get HUGE? Like an illness or crisis? Are we ready for that?

- Are you interested in a well ordered, effortless week, where everything just fits?  Me too!

Transcript

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SPEAKER_00 0:04

Welcome to the Excel Still More podcast. I am your host, Chris Emerson. I'm here to encourage you in your walk with God. Thank you for joining in. Today's podcast is sponsored by a wonderful company, Creation to Revelation. This group of Christians believe it is extremely important that we teach the Word of God to our kids. They have original graphic illustrations from the beginning of the Bible to the end, featuring the beautiful and consistent presence of Jesus throughout. You can explore all of that at Creation2revelation.com. I am so thankful you're here, so let's get started. Hey, welcome back. I have an illustration to share with you today that I've been excited about all week. I'm calling it the Jar of Rocks. I'm not sure if that's the official name, and it is not original with me, but it's a jar that you put rocks in, so I felt pretty safe with that approach. I think this visual will really be helpful for you this week. Ultimately, it is designed to help you prioritize your schedule, manage your time better, and make sure that the things that matter most to you in this life are getting the proper amount of attention. I will confess this to you: it's a bit ironic that an episode designed to help with time management is being recorded on a Sunday night at 8 p.m. in an empty church building by a guy who's still wearing his gear that he just preached in the night before the episode is released. It sounds like I'm not the guy to be delivering this message. Although, once you hear me out a little bit on this visual and its meaning, and I explain why I've waited so long this week to record, maybe it does make some sense. We'll see how that goes. So here's the plan today. It's very simple. I'll take the next few minutes and I'll share with you this illustration, and then I will make the very common point that accompanies it. I mean, it's been around for a while. You can go YouTube it and you can listen to smarter guys than me explain what it means. So we'll start there. But in the back half of this episode, I want to make two additional applications from the jar, and maybe you will consider them to be like next level application. And for those of us who are trying to prioritize faithfulness in the center of very busy lives, I'm really hoping that those extra things in this episode will really make a difference for you this week. Alright, so let's start with this. I want you to imagine that you are standing in front of a small table. Right in the middle of that table is a large, completely empty glass jar. Maybe it's about a foot tall, like one of those plastic containers that holds all those cheese puffs. Except this jar has no give in it because of the glass. Now, also on the table are three smaller containers, all of which contain rocks. One of those containers is filled with large rocks. You know the rocks that are so large you can only hold one of them in the palm of your hand at a time. Another small bucket has small rocks in them. You know the kind you'd pick up if you were going to throw it long distance or skip it across the pond where you could hold several of them in your hand at once. And then the last container has a bunch of tiny pebbles in it, just countless little bitty rocks that fill it to the top. And your goal is simple. Fit all of those rocks into the glass jar. Now I've seen several videos on this, I've seen it attempted and failed many times, and I don't know what your approach would be, but there is only one way to get it all to fit. Oftentimes people choose the exact opposite way to do it. Maybe you start by taking all of those little pebbles and pouring them in first. They settle in the bottom. They don't take up too much room and they fill that complete space. And then you take those medium size or smaller rocks and you pour them in next. And while the jar is over two-thirds full, all of that is settled in nicely. And lastly, you just take the large rocks and put them in and just push them down into the others, and everything should work out fine. Except it never does. The smaller rocks in the container will not move out of the way, the larger rocks cannot be pushed down inside of them, and inevitably they do not all fit. There's a big rock sticking out the top, and still two more that never got placed at all. Now, if the person who sets up the visual has selected the amount of rocks properly, there's only one way to make it work. You start by putting the large rocks in first. That does not look like a good strategy because the jar looks nearly full and all you've put in are large rocks. But then you take those medium ones, the smaller ones, and you pour them in on top of the large rocks, and they begin to move around and fill in some of those spaces. But at this point, the jar is basically full, so it looks like a bust. But then lastly, when you pour in those pebbles, they start falling down through the jar and filling all of the spaces that have been left behind by the larger rocks, and they settle in to where everything fits. So I'm sure you know where all of this is going, but let me spell it out for you anyway. That jar represents your life, or at least the amount of time that you have to live it. Maybe that jar represents a Monday. Maybe it represents this entire upcoming week or the rest of the year, or maybe your whole life. Only a certain number of things can fit inside of it. The first and most often made application from this imagery is where I would like to begin. It is important for you to break down all of the things in your life, in your week, in your day, whatever is needed, into three categories. The big rocks are the things that matter most. They are a bigger deal than everything else. They take up a lot of space because they're just that important. And it could be very valuable, maybe even therapeutic, for you to make a list of what those big rock items are. But I encourage you to use more than just nouns. Don't put my family, put time with my family. Don't just put God, put focus and energy into my relationship with God. Don't just put my work, put excelling in my work. Whatever it is, you ought to have a fairly short list of the things that matter most to you in this entire world. Now you can dissect this further. You could make a second list of things that represent those smaller rocks. They are important to you, but they are not essential. Can you understand that difference? The large rocks are essential. They matter more than anything. Then I have a list of things that I want in my life because they matter to me. Maybe that has to do with taking care of your body, furthering your education. I don't know. The list is yours. But these are things that you really hope you can find a space for. And then of course the little pebbles, that's everything else. I'm not talking about sinful things. We don't want that in the jar at all. I'm just talking about watching a Netflix show, time perusing Facebook, or just out taking a walk. They are optional things that you hope you can find space for, but if you're being honest with yourself, you'll be okay if you don't. So listen, if you have any chance of getting all of that into tomorrow or this week or whatever, without stress, and if you know me, we go no stress. If I'm stressed out about this, if I'm pushed up against it, if I feel like I can never catch up or I can never fit it all in, then I'm doing it wrong. So how do we do it right? Here's our first big point. Start with the big rocks first. Whatever you do this week, make sure the proper amount of time and energy, the best things you have to put into it, get put into those things. Efforts made with your family, in your faith, maybe fitness, whatever it might be. Make everything else wait. These are the essentials. You say, well, a lot of that other stuff is still really important. Yeah, I know it is, but it's not essential. Something really weird happens when we get things out of alignment. We save the essential things for last because we know we can't toss them out. If I do all the little pebble stuff and I do all of the middle size stuff, I won't throw the big rocks away. Maybe I just can't fit it in today, maybe I can't get it all done this week, but it's not like I'm just going to throw away my family. I'll just put it this way essential things deserve more respect than that. And you know, if they get left out of the daily, weekly, ongoing jars over and over again, you just might lose them. I try to really put intentional focus on these differences. For instance, I told you that this podcast had to wait until Sunday night. It's not a pebble for me. I would consider it a middle-sized rock. It is important. I really enjoy doing this, and I'm so thankful for all of the friendships that have grown out of it. But I have already determined that it's not essential. So I had about five chances to do it earlier this week, and I didn't. And what was it that was so important that got in the way? Going to my 17-year-old's golf tournament, watching my 10-year-old pitch in an all-star game, or getting home in time to go for a walk with my wife. In addition to some other things like building sermons for Sunday, you talk about non-negotiables. So I kept putting this off, knowing that I would find a point in time and be able to do it later, not because it isn't important, but because every time I didn't do it, I felt like I was doing something that mattered more. Alright, so that's your first tip. If there's any chance of getting it all in, start with the stuff that matters and then work your way down to the trivial. And while sometimes the big rock items aren't always enjoyable, I often use the little pebbles, the trivial things, the Netflix show, the Facebook perusing as little rewards, like little meaningless things that I now can do without any guilt at all because everything else came before it. Okay, but I have two more applications to make. You know, sometimes, no matter how you order this, there just isn't enough jar for the rocks. There are just too many. Too many pebbles, too many medium-sized rocks, no matter how you position it, there will still be some left on the table. I know you've experienced that. We all have. So what do you do? How do you make that choice and how do you do it without stressing out? Well, look, to keep it short and simple, sometimes you've got to throw some rocks back on the ground. Sometimes, despite your best effort and wonderful prioritization, there's just too much. Let me give you a little story to help with this. I was meeting with a young preacher once who was very stressed out about all of the things that came along with the ministry. He was finding it very difficult to fit it all in. So we sat down at a desk and I gave him a piece of paper and a pencil, and I told him to draw two horizontal lines, which created three equal size categories. And I said, In the top box, I want you to write down all of the essential parts of your work. These are the non-negotiables. These are the centerpieces. And so he wrote down four or five things, preaching the sermons, teaching the classes, things like that. In the middle category, I asked him to write down all of the important things. They aren't essential, but they really do matter to you. And they do make a difference. And you think that they need to happen. And so he made a fairly lengthy list. And then finally I said, at the bottom, as it pertains to your work, I want you to write down all of the optional things. These are things that you are doing or are thinking of doing or have done, but in truth, you know they don't actually have to happen. This may be something like writing an original article for the bulletin every week, or meeting all the old guys for breakfast once a month on Saturday. I do feel like I probably should not have given you those two examples because some preacher listening is like, actually, those are very important or even essential. Hey, look, man, it's your list. Just make it. So when he was done, I said, okay, step one, I want you to tear off the bottom third of that page and throw it in the trash. You're telling me you're stressed out, you're having trouble getting it all done, and you feel like your essential work isn't as good as you want it to be. So all of the optional stuff just got canceled. Now, in the middle category, the important things, I want you to take your pen and draw a line through half of them. Half of them, at least for the next month, are out. They're important, but they don't have to happen. Now I want you to look at your list. You have the big rocks at the top, they're still there. The middle size, you've eliminated half of them, and all of your pebbles are gone, at least for now. What do you think will happen if this new list is all you pursue in your work this week? And he gave two really good answers. He said, Well, I should be able to get all of this done without any stress, and I will probably do a better job with what's left here because I can give it more of my attention. And I was like, um, yeah, that's how it's supposed to work. And then once you feel like you're at a good rhythm, your family and your faith and your work are rocking along great, well, then you can go back and add in some of that stuff. Maybe. I learned a lot of those principles from Greg McCowan's book, Essentialism, several years ago. And that's the second thing that I want to share with you here. If it doesn't all fit, it's time to get rid of a lot of pebbles and maybe half of those smaller rocks. Build a week that champions the essential and the most important that come in behind it. I really hope you find that helpful. We're not saying the things you tore off the page are gone forever, but they have to earn their right to come back. And especially if they're leisure or passive, make them like a reward for when you've taken care of your business efficiently and without stress. So I only have a couple of minutes left and I want to add one more application. We started with the simple, which is Big Rocks First, and then we talked about maybe cutting out some of the smaller things. But there is something else that can happen along the way and cause problems. I was listening to an interview last week by Greg McCown. He has just released a new book, sort of a sequel to Essentialism, and it's called Effortless. And he was talking about how in his own family his daughter developed a neurological disorder that took a huge amount of his time. And he was saying that sometimes those big rocks get bigger. Sometimes they double in size, they become uber important. Maybe you have a sickness in your family and it demands double the attention. Maybe your marriage is in trouble and it demands double the attention. Maybe there are some really important things going on at the church and it deserves extra sacrifice. Maybe you're starting a new job and you really have to put in the time to establish yourself. You have just about got everything worked out, it all fits, and then a big rock just doubles in size and changes everything. In his interview, he said sometimes you need to revisit the large rocks, not to get rid of them, but to make sure you are engaging them as efficiently as possible. In other words, you don't want those big, essential items to be bulky and unnecessarily time consuming. You want the time that you invest in them to be super valuable, well used, and effortless. And I'm pretty intrigued about that idea. Maybe we can do essential things better than we've ever done them before. So I tell you what, I'll go get that book and start reading it, and maybe in a few weeks I'll come back and do a follow-up episode on some tips and strategies to do the big things better than ever. But in the meantime, I need you to look at your own jar. Categorize what is essential, what is important, and what is optional. Sequence it well, edit it wisely, and experience the indescribable satisfaction of a perfectly filled jar of rocks. Thank you so much for joining in today. If you enjoyed this program, consider sharing it with your family and your friends. As always, you can go to excelstillmore.life to sign up for the email, order the three-month journal, or just catch up on old episodes. And also, if you are looking for financial advice or future planning, give John Cunningham a call today, 205 913 1720. And remember this whatever you choose to do today in the name of the Lord Jesus, excel still more.