12MinuteLeadership

Episode 5: How YOU Can Lead Anyone Part 4 - Honing Your Powerful Influencing Skills | 12MinuteLeadership

• Elise Boggs Morales • Season 1 • Episode 5

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Have you ever wondered why some leaders effortlessly gain buy-in while others struggle despite having superior technical skills? The answer lies in genuine influence—the ability to create chemistry and connection by understanding what truly matters to others.

This episode reveals how lasting influence begins with shifting focus from yourself to the people you want to engage. Through two compelling stories, you'll discover how this principle works in practice. First, hear how a young server with zero experience landed a coveted restaurant job and earned the highest tips by memorizing not just the menu but regular customers' preferences. Then, follow the transformation of Frank, an architectural firm partner who secured a multi-billion dollar healthcare project not because his firm had better technical capabilities, but because he demonstrated genuine understanding of what the client valued.

We break down the key elements of powerful influence: listening deeply to understand others' values, tailoring your message to match those values, and inspiring action through story rather than just strategy. You'll learn the warning signs that your influence skills need improvement and receive practical, step-by-step guidance on how to build your influence muscle. Whether you're leading a team or pitching to clients, these insights will help you create connections that transform compliance into commitment.

What conversation could you transform this week by leading with what others value first? This simple shift in approach doesn't just get your ideas across—it changes the room. The episode closes with a challenge to apply these principles immediately and an invitation to explore the book "Lead Anyone" for deeper insights into building lasting influence that drives remarkable results.

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Speaker 1:

Welcome to the 12-Minute Leadership Podcast where, in 12 minutes or less, I'll share small things that you can put into immediate practice that will make a big difference in your leadership effectiveness. I'm your host, elise Boggs-Morales leadership professor, consultant and coach. For the last 17 years, I have helped thousands of leaders level up their influence and achieve remarkable results. If you want to trade compliance for true commitment and create your dream team, you are in the right place. Get ready for a quick hit of practical wisdom to increase your team's engagement, inspire top performance and retain your best talent. Ready to level up your influence and get better results. 12 Minutes starts now. Hi everyone, elise here, welcome to episode five, how you Can Lead Anyone, part four.

Speaker 1:

Today's episode is taken from day 17 of my new book Lead Anyone and is all about the power of influence. In today's terms, that could mean a lot of different things and is often short-lived. Lasting influence that is genuine and real begins with understanding what others value and using that insight to create connection, trust and momentum. In my work, I not only help leaders gain influence with their team to get incredible results. I also help those same leaders build the influence outside their organizations, specifically when they're presenting to clients to secure work and want to stand out. What I have found is that clients not only want proven competency, but there also has to be a chemistry In a sea of equally competent options. Creating a sense of genuine chemistry can become your competitive edge that can increase your influence over outcomes. In his classic book how to Win Friends and Influence People that says you can make more friends in two months by becoming interested in other people than you can in two years by trying to get other people interested in you. That quote isn't just about making friends. It's about building influence, because true influence begins when we shift the spotlight from ourselves to the people we want to engage.

Speaker 1:

I'm going to share two stories to illustrate the power of influence. One is a fun one and the other is about a client of mine. I helped secure a multi-billion dollar project. The fun one first, so many moons ago, after I graduated from high school, I was excited to get into my choice college, but it came with a hefty price tag. So I knew that I would need to work part time to make it work, and I set my sights on being a server at a popular restaurant because I knew I could make good money in tips. The problem was that I had no experience and didn't really have time to work my way up, so I realized I needed to somehow influence the manager to consider hiring me as a server. To start, instead of selling myself in the interview or listing all the reasons I'd eventually be a great hire, I walked into the interview having memorized the entire menu, pricing, upgrade options and even the history and mission of the restaurant. None of the other experienced servers who were interviewing did this, so I stood out and ended up getting the job on the spot. Once I had the job, I began writing down and memorizing the regular customer's preferences and orders. Then they began requesting to sit in my section and I ended up earning the highest tips of any of the more experienced servers. One particular local business owner tipped me so well that it ended up paying for all of my books for college. That experience taught me something huge If you understand what other people value and you show that you're already aligned with it, doors open. That job didn't just pay for college. It kickstarted a mindset shift, one I've used ever since in coaching, presenting and leading.

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So what are powerful influencing skills In the world of emotional intelligence? Influence isn't about pushing your ideas. It's about becoming someone people want to follow. Whether you're leading a team, pitching a new idea to a client or navigating tough conversations, influence helps you inspire action. So what do leaders with strong influence do? Here's a breakdown. They listen deeply to what their people value, they tailor their message to match those values and they inspire action through story, not just strategy. Essentially, leadership is influence. Without it, it's just a title. So how do you know if you need to level up your influencing skills? Here are a few signs you deliver the same message to everyone, no matter who they are. People seem disengaged when you share new ideas, or you struggle to defend your vision when challenged. If you've resonated with any of these, I'm going to share a story of a client who resonated with all of those, but was committed to honing his skills and ended up landing the project of a lifetime.

Speaker 1:

My client, frank, is a senior partner at an architectural firm and he came to me for coaching because he was preparing for a career-defining presentation. His firm was one of two finalists pitching to design a major building downtown, a multi-billion dollar project. Frank's technical skills were very strong. His presentation skills well, let's just say people weren't on the edge of their seats. Frank had a habit of focusing too much on the how, the technical details, without ever anchoring his message in the why. He talked at his audience, not with them. There was too much at stake for this potential project, so he wanted some support.

Speaker 1:

So here's what we did. First, we established a clear vision, not for what he wanted, but for what the client wanted. Frank reached out to the key decision makers and asked them directly what outcomes matter most to you. For the first time, he really listened. Second, we found out exactly who would be in the room on presentation day and we researched each person, their roles, their values, priorities, and then we tailored the presentation to speak directly to each of them. Third, since the project was in healthcare, I connected Frank with a friend whose daughter had spent years in hospitals fighting cancer.

Speaker 1:

Frank learned about how small design choices could make huge emotional impacts on children and families. It shifted his entire approach. Finally, we practiced A lot. He shortened his presentation and brought in his team to co-present, and then he spoke only to the big picture, the vision, the human impact, the collaboration. When presentation day came, the room was engaged. Every eye was on him, every question answered with clarity and empathy.

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Two weeks later the hospital called Frank's firm had won the bid. Why? The hospital director said both firms were technically equal, but Frank's team felt like the team they'd want to work with. They understood the vision and they cared. That's influence.

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So how do you build that kind of influence? Here's an action step you can take today. Think of a decision or idea. You're trying to move forward with something that needs buy-in from others. Then get clear on your vision. What's the outcome? What's the benefit? Make a list of who you need to influence. What's the outcome? What's the benefit? Make a list of who you need to influence. What do they value? What are their concerns? Then customize your message to speak directly to those things. Practice with a colleague, get feedback and adjust. Then go in and deliver it with confidence, empathy and flexibility and afterward reflect Were people engaged? What worked, what didn't? Influence isn't a one and done skill. It's a muscle. The more you use it, the more natural it becomes.

Speaker 1:

So, as we wrap up today's episode, I want to challenge you. What's one conversation, one presentation, one moment this week where you can lead with what they value? First, because when you do that, when you truly understand and communicate in a way that resonates. You don't just get your ideas across, you change the room. So I hope you enjoyed today's episode and series inspired by my new book Lead Anyone. Join me next time as I kick off our next series. See you then Like what you heard on today's episode and want to go deeper. Subscribe to this podcast so you never miss an episode. You can also pick up my book Lead Anyone on Amazon. Then go to my website to check out ways that we can support your leadership goals. From executive retreats to customized training and coaching, my team of experts will help you level up your leadership and accelerate your results. Go to wwweliseboggscom for more info.