Episode 10: Three Moments Where Empathy Matters | 12MinuteLeadership

Empathetic leadership creates higher-performing teams by building psychological safety, engagement, and trust. Research confirms that leaders with high empathy drive better employee retention and performance outcomes.

• Empathy is a strategic leadership skill, not a sign of weakness
• Three key moments when empathy matters most: when team members struggle, during tough feedback, and through organizational change
• Specific scripts for handling each situation with empathy while maintaining accountability
• Personal example contrasting two leadership styles during a crisis and their impact
• Empathetic approach to struggling team members creates space to address real issues affecting performance
• Feedback delivered with empathy shifts from "calling out" to "calling up" people to their potential
• During change, employees need honesty and connection more than perfect answers
• Empathy creates psychological safety, which is the foundation for engagement and performance

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Chapters

• 0:00 Introducing Leadership Empathy
• 2:36 Empathy When Team Members Struggle
• 4:53 Empathy During Tough Feedback
• 6:55 Empathy Through Uncertainty and Change
• 8:14 Final Thoughts and Call to Action

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:03

Welcome to the 12-Minute Leadership Podcast where, in 12 minutes or less, I'll share small things that you can put into immediate practice that will make a big difference in your leadership effectiveness. I'm your host, elise Boggs-Morales, leadership professor, consultant and coach. For the last 17 years, I have helped thousands of leaders level up their influence and achieve remarkable results. If you want to trade compliance for true commitment and create your dream team, you are in the right place. Get ready for a quick hit of practical wisdom to increase your team's engagement, inspire top performance and retain your best talent. Ready to level up your influence and get better results. 12 Minutes starts now. Hi everyone, elise here, welcome to episode 10.

Speaker 1: 0:56

Today, we're talking about something that's often misunderstood in leadership empathy. I introduced empathy as a leadership superpower in episode three and in this episode, I'm going to make it very practical by sharing three moments where empathy really matters for leaders. If you are a leader who places an especially strong emphasis on results and think showing empathy may undermine results, I'd like to challenge you, because the research shows in my own experience attests to the fact that empathetic leaders actually create higher performing teams. Harvard Business Review published an article entitled the Best Leaders have a High Empathy Quotient, which cites multiple studies all concluding that leaders who demonstrate empathy drive better employee engagement, retention and performance. Why? Because empathetic leadership creates psychological safety, and psychological safety is the basis for engagement, retention and performance. A common misconception is that showing empathy is weak leadership. But empathy isn't about being soft. It's about being present enough to acknowledge what others are feeling, so that you can lead more effectively in the moments that matter most. And in this episode, I'll walk you through three key moments when leaders can use empathy to build trust, drive performance and strengthen culture, and I'll give you the exact words. You can use empathy to build trust, drive performance and strengthen culture, and I'll give you the exact words. You can use yes scripts so that you can lead with more intention. So let's dig into these three key moments.

Speaker 1: 2:36

Scenario one when a team member is struggling. So we'll start with a situation that we've all seen Someone on your team is off, maybe they're missing deadlines, maybe their energy is low, something's just off, so one option is to ignore it until performance is so bad that you're forced to address it, or you could step in with empathy. So here's what that might sound like. I've noticed that you haven't seemed like yourself lately, and I just wanted to let you know that I'm here if you need support. If there's something affecting your focus or your energy, I'd like to understand it so that we can work through it together. Why does this approach matter? Because it creates psychological safety. You're not just managing tasks, you're leading people human beings and this kind of check-in often reveals real things people are dealing with, such as caring for an aging parent, burnout or health challenges, and when you create space for empathy, you create a space for performance to return. I'd like to share a quick story about two contrasting styles of leadership that I experienced and how one of them helped me return to performance quickly.

Speaker 1: 3:53

When I was in my 20s, I would travel a lot for work and on one particular flight, we hit a windstorm, causing the flight to be extremely turbulent, and by the time that we landed, everyone, including the flight attendants, were extremely rattled. And by the time that we landed, everyone, including the flight attendants, were extremely rattled. And what made it especially challenging is that I had to speak at a conference in 30 minutes, and it just so happened, close to the time that we were landing, that my boss called to ask how things were going and I shared with him about the flight and how rattled I was feeling, and the first words out of his mouth were well, you better not screw up when you speak at the conference. Contrast that with the host of the conference, who picked me up at the airport. He had asked me in the car. You know how the flight had gone and I was honest that it was a rough flight and that everyone on the flight was really rattled when we landed and the first words out of his mouth were gosh. That must have been really scary and unsettling.

Speaker 1: 4:51

And you have to speak in 30 minutes. What can I do to support you? Do you need to grab a meal? Go back to the hotel to gather your thoughts? Also, if you need us to move your speaking time, our conference schedule is really flexible. We could move you to the second or third slot. His empathetic response allowed me to return to performance quickly how his feeling was seen, acknowledged and support was given. I ended up speaking at my normal slot time and I did great. My boss, on the other hand, left a really negative and lasting impression, and it was a string of similar instances that caused me to want to leave my job about six months later. So I know firsthand the difference in being under empathetic leadership and a leader who lacked it.

Speaker 1: 5:40

So let's switch gears and talk about another scenario where empathy is relevant Giving tough feedback, a moment that many leaders dread. If you've ever felt that knot in your stomach before a difficult conversation, you're not alone, but empathy can actually soften the landing while still holding that person accountable. So try a script like this hey, I want to talk through something that might be uncomfortable, but I'm sharing it because I care about your growth and I believe in your potential. This recent situation didn't reflect your usual strengths, and I know that that's not who you are at your best. I'd like to unpack it together and talk about how I can support you going forward. Do you see how that shifts the energy? It's shifting from calling somebody out to calling someone up. One of my favorite ways to shift uncomfortable performance conversations. It's not about catching somebody doing something wrong. It's about coaching them back to their strengths. When leaders blend empathy with candor, people don't get defensive, they lean in, and that's where growth happens.

Speaker 1: 6:51

A third moment where empathy matters for leaders is leading through change. Let's talk about leading through uncertainty. Maybe there's a restructure coming, or layoffs or a major shift in direction. Your team is watching you closely. What you say and how you say it matters more than ever. Empathy here sounds like.

Speaker 1: 7:13

I know there's a lot of uncertainty right now and that can feel unsettling. It's okay to feel anxious or even frustrated. I felt that too. What I can promise is that I'll keep you informed, listen to your concerns and advocate for clarity. Where I can, we'll navigate this together. That kind of honesty builds credibility. People don't need you to have all the answers. They need you to be real, to be steady and to keep the human side in focus while the business side moves forward. So let's recap Moment number one for leaders to use empathy is use empathy when someone's struggling.

Speaker 1: 7:54

Be a safe place, not just a performance monitor. Moment number two use empathy when giving tough feedback. Call them up versus out. And finally, moment number three use empathy during change. Acknowledge fear, be transparent and stay connected. Remember that empathy isn't weakness. It's a strategic leadership skill. It creates loyalty, safety and trust the real foundations of influence. So if you found today's episode helpful, share it with a fellow leader and if you're coaching a team, start practicing these scripts in these three key moments. You'll be surprised how far a little empathy can go. I'll see you next time. Like what you heard on today's episode and want to go deeper, subscribe to this podcast so you never miss an episode. You can also pick up my book Lead Anyone on Amazon. Then go to my website to check out ways that we can support your leadership goals. From executive retreats to customized training and coaching, my team of experts will help you level up your leadership and accelerate your results. Go to wwweliseboggscom for more info.