12MinuteLeadership

Episode 13: Read the Room: Prevent Conflict Before It Starts | 12MinuteLeadership

• Elise Boggs Morales • Season 1 • Episode 13

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Ever wondered why some workplace conflicts seem to erupt out of nowhere? The answer lies in understanding what triggers different personality types. In this episode of the 12-Minute Leadership Podcast, I unpack how the three core motives—People, Performance, and Process—not only drive behavior but also reveal what potentially sparks conflict when these values are threatened or ignored.

Dive deep into the world of "Blues" (people-motivated individuals) who thrive on relationships and inclusion. Learn why excluding them from meetings or decisions can trigger significant discord, and discover practical strategies to keep them engaged without sacrificing efficiency. For your "Reds" (performance-driven team members), I explain why delays and excessive planning can create frustration, and share tactics to maintain their momentum while still making thoughtful decisions. Finally, understand why your "Greens" (process-oriented colleagues) need structure and time for analysis, and how rushing them without adequate information can lead to resistance or passive aggression.

This episode equips you with specific, actionable prevention strategies tailored to each motivation type. By recognizing potential triggers before they activate, you'll transform your leadership approach from reactive conflict management to proactive harmony building. Whether you're leading a small team or an entire organization, these insights will help you communicate more effectively, make better decisions, and create an environment where everyone can contribute their best work. Ready to reclaim the emotional energy you've been spending on unnecessary conflict? This episode shows you how.

Join me for part three of this series on core strengths. Check out my book "Lead Anyone" on Amazon and visit www.eliseboggs.com for information on executive retreats, customized training, and coaching to help level up your leadership.

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Speaker 1:

Welcome to the 12-Minute Leadership Podcast where, in 12 minutes or less, I'll share small things that you can put into immediate practice that will make a big difference in your leadership effectiveness. I'm your host, elise Boggs-Morales leadership professor, consultant and coach. For the last 17 years, I have helped thousands of leaders level up their influence and achieve remarkable results. If you want to trade compliance for true commitment and create your dream team, you are in the right place. Get ready for a quick hit of practical wisdom to increase your team's engagement, inspire top performance and retain your best talent. Ready to level up your influence and get better results. 12 Minutes starts now. Hi everyone, elise here, welcome to episode 13.

Speaker 1:

Today, we're diving into a crucial leadership topic conflict. As leaders, we all know that conflict is inevitable. It's not a matter of if, but when. But what if we could prevent conflict before it even starts? What if we could understand what triggers conflict in others and use that knowledge to avoid misunderstandings, miscommunications and disagreements? On last week's episode, I talked about the three Ps people, performance. I talked about the three Ps people, performance and process. These are the three core motives that drive human behavior. When we learn how others are motivated, we can then be strategic in how we communicate so that we can garner the engagement and performance we desire from our teams. But the three Ps also provide an additional insight potential conflict triggers. If we can understand others' potential conflict triggers and avoid them, a huge percentage of conflict becomes preventable. When you know what someone values the most either people, performance or process you can make a pretty educated guess about the type of communication and behaviors that would not be effective with them. Today, I'm going to show you how to get the emotional energy you are spending on unnecessary conflict back. Sound good, let's go.

Speaker 1:

So before we dive into prevention strategies, let's quickly recap the three core strengths motives these are fundamental to understanding what triggers conflict for people. The first motive is people, or our blues. People with this motive value relationships and achieve feelings of self-worth by being genuinely helpful to others and knowing that their support was received and valued. They need appreciation to know that their efforts made their intended impact. The second motive is performance. These are our reds. People with this motive are driven by goals, results and achievement. They thrive in high-pressure situations and they tend to be action-oriented. The third motive is process our greens. People with this motive value structure, systems and accuracy. They are logical and methodical, preferring to analyze situations carefully before making decisions.

Speaker 1:

Now that we've laid the groundwork for each motive, let's talk about how each motive can trigger conflict. Understanding what people value can help us understand what triggers conflict for them. When these values are threatened or ignored, it causes tension. Here's how that looks for each motive. We'll start with our people people, our blues. So people with the people motive are deeply invested in their relationships. They're sensitive to anything that threatens their sense of harmony or connection. If they feel excluded, criticized or if there's a lack of consideration for how decisions impact people, it could trigger conflict.

Speaker 1:

So I want you to think about is there somebody on your team right now that you can think is probably a people-motivated person, a blue? And here's a scenario you might find yourself in. So the scenario would be excluding a team member from a critical meeting. So I want you to imagine you're leading a project team and there's a crucial meeting that will shape the direction of an important initiative. In a rush to make decisions, you decide to leave one team member, who has been closely working on the project, out of the meeting. You don't intend any harm. You simply didn't think their input was necessary for that particular stage of the project. However, this person values inclusion and collaboration deeply, as they're motivated by relationships and teamwork.

Speaker 1:

This type of scenario triggers conflict with the blue for these reasons mainly an exclusion of relationships. Being excluded from an important meeting feels like a personal slight, especially since they are highly invested in the team dynamics. They may feel that their contributions aren't valued, which threatens the harmony and trust they've worked to establish with the group. To prevent this type of conflict, you want to be mindful, especially with those who have a people or blue orientation, that being included matters. So ensuring that everyone feels heard and included, either directly or through a follow-up conversation, could prevent a breakdown in trust. You could also acknowledge their contribution. So before excluding someone, it's helpful to acknowledge their efforts and let them know why their input may not be needed at that time. A quick check-in to say, hey, I value your contributions and I've decided this meeting needs to be a quick decision-making session, but I'll keep you updated. This can go a long way in preventing unnecessary conflict with the blue.

Speaker 1:

So let's talk about our performance-driven people, or our reds. So they're focused on results. They thrive on efficiency, speed and getting things done. So if they feel that their goals are being obstructed, that decisions are being delayed or that progress is being slowed. It can trigger frustration. They might come across as aggressive or demanding, but in reality they're simply reacting to the perceived threat to their performance.

Speaker 1:

Conflict arises when others don't share their sense of urgency or drive for achievement. So here's a common scenario that could trigger conflict. For a red Imagine you're leading a team through a high-stakes, time-sensitive project. The project is running behind schedule and there's a critical decision that needs to be made quickly to avoid further delays. However, as the leader, you decide to hold a series of meetings for additional feedback before making the final call, which causes further delays in making the decision.

Speaker 1:

The red or performance-driven person is going to get triggered for three main reasons. One a perceived lack of urgency. The delay caused by extended meetings and waiting for feedback may be seen as a waste of valuable time. Extended meetings and waiting for feedback may be seen as a waste of valuable time. Two, frustration with indecisiveness. If they perceive that leadership is being indecisive or overanalyzing a situation, they may see it as a lack of leadership and direction. Third, the trigger could be an impediment to goal achievement. Because they're highly goal-driven, any actions that hinder their ability to meet objectives, especially in a time-sensitive environment, can be seen as obstacles.

Speaker 1:

So how do we prevent this type of conflict with the red? First, be clear and decisive. Avoid dragging out processes that could lead to frustration. Be clear, concise and direct in your decision-making. Second, value their efficiency and align on goals. Ensure that your decision-making process is aligned with the Red's focus on achieving goals. If there are delays or roadblocks, explain the rationale clearly and give them a sense of ownership over how to resolve the situation quickly. This is how to prevent unnecessary conflict with a performance-driven person.

Speaker 1:

And finally, let's talk about our process-oriented people, or our greens. People with the process motive are driven by accuracy, data and structure. They value clarity and the time to think things through before jumping to conclusions. If they feel rushed, unsupported or that decisions are being made without adequate information, they may retreat into analysis, paralysis or become passive aggressive. So let's talk about a common scenario rushing through decisions without adequate information a sure trigger for green.

Speaker 1:

So imagine you are leading a team through a project that requires careful planning and strategic thinking. There's a critical decision that needs to be made and the team is under pressure to deliver results quickly. As a leader, you push for a quick decision, urging the team to move forward without fully gathering all the necessary data, analyzing potential risks or considering the long-term consequences. This is a potential trigger for a green. Why there's a lack of clarity and structure. Greens need structure, clarity and a logical approach. If a leadership pushes for a quick decision without giving them that time, it can feel like a breach of their need for a well-organized process. Also, another trigger is a fear of inaccurate decisions.

Speaker 1:

The most compelling drive for a process-oriented person is getting it right. And how can they get it right without all the data? The third is a perceived lack of respect for expertise. Greens are driven individuals who want to see themselves as the guardians of the process and the ones who provide the logical, methodical thinking that keeps things running smoothly. So if leadership overlooks their expertise or disregards their need for thorough analysis, it can feel disrespectful and dismissive. This can trigger feelings of being undervalued or underappreciated, leading to conflict.

Speaker 1:

So how can you prevent conflict with a green or process oriented person? Provide time for analysis wherever possible. I always suggest that you send an agenda to greens before a meeting so that they have time to think things through and can contribute during the meeting. You can also offer clear, structured communication when time is tight, communicate decisions with clarity and structure If you have to rush a decision, but you can provide the logical rationale as to why a pivot needs to be made. That approach will help a green get on board. Pivot needs to be made. That approach will help a green get on board. And finally, you can create a plan for addressing risks. Perhaps that's creating a contingency plan with a green. They're very risk adverse and often want to be sure that, if things don't go as planned, there's a solution. By including them in the planning for potential challenges, you reduce the feeling of being unprepared. So there you have it Three motives, people, performance, process and three triggers, all connected to when those values are threatened, it leads to conflict. So think about people on your team that might be people-oriented, performance-oriented or process-oriented. Now you're more equipped to prevent unnecessary conflict.

Speaker 1:

Well, I hope you enjoyed today's episode. Join me for part three of this series on core strengths. I'll see you next time. Like what you heard on today's episode and want to go deeper, subscribe to this podcast so you never miss an episode. You can also pick up my book Lead Anyone on Amazon. Then go to my website to check out ways that we can support your leadership goals. From executive retreats to customized training and coaching, my team of experts will help you level up your leadership and accelerate your results. Go to wwweliseboggscom for more info.