Episode 43: Are You Leading with Influence or Authority? Here’s How to Tell | 12MinuteLeadership

Over the last few episodes, we’ve been talking about authority vs. influence.

But here’s the question most leaders don’t stop to ask: How do you know if you're leading with influence?

In this week’s episode of 12MinuteLeadership, I'll unpack how you can measure your influence: 

• Why compliance can mask gaps in your leadership
• What influence actually looks like in day-to-day behavior
• 3 key indicators of influential leadership:
 – Role modeling instead of demanding
 – Building trust-based relationships
 – Creating alignment through dialogue
• The power of the “perception gap” in Leadership 360 feedback
• 4 simple shifts to strengthen your influence immediately

Influence isn’t what you intend—it’s what others experience. 

Listen now and share this episode with a leader who’s ready to move beyond authority and lead with true influence

Transcript

Welcome And Leadership Promise

Speaker 0:02

Welcome to the 12Minute Leadership Podcast, where in 12 minutes or less, I'll share small things that you can put into immediate practice that will make a big difference in your leadership effectiveness. I'm your host, Elise Boggs Morales, leadership professor, consultant, and coach. For the last 17 years, I have helped thousands of leaders level up their influence and achieve remarkable results. If you want to trade compliance for true commitment and create your dream team, you are in the right place. Get ready for a quick hit of practical wisdom to increase your team's engagement, inspire top performance, and retain your best talent. Ready to level up your influence and get better results? 12 minutes starts now. Hi everyone, Elise here. Welcome back to the podcast.

Authority Versus Influence Revisited

Speaker 0:58

Over the last couple episodes, we've been talking about a theme that sits at the core of leadership: the difference between authority and influence. We've talked about leaders versus bosses, accountability, hiring, presence, performance conversations, and today I want to bring this full circle with a different kind of question. How do you know if you're actually leading with influence? In my experience, I find that most leaders believe they are influencing well, but their team might tell a different story. One of the biggest challenges in leadership is that you experience your leadership in one way and others experience it another. This comes up a lot when I'm debriefing leadership 360 results with my clients. Authority can mask this gap because when you have authority, people comply, people nod, people say yes. But compliance is not the same as influence. Influence shows up in how people engage when you're not in the room, how they make decisions without you, how much ownership they take. So if we want to grow as leaders, we have to move beyond intention and start looking at impact.

Why Your Team Feels Differently

Speaker 2:08

So what does influence actually look like? I want to share a few behaviors from the Leadership 360 assessments I use in my work. These are the actual behaviors leaders evaluate themselves on and then hear feedback from different groups they work with, such as their peers, direct reports, etc. These are behaviors that reflect influence without relying on authority. So let's get started.

Role Modeling Beats Demanding

Speaker 2:34

Behavior number one is role modeling instead of demanding. So the statement says, I role model rather than demand expected attitudes and behavior. This is one of the clearest indicators of influence because people don't follow what you say nearly as much as they follow what you do. So if a leader says, we value accountability, we value respect, we value ownership, but doesn't demonstrate these things themselves, people notice. Influential leaders don't demand standards, they demonstrate them consistently. And I find these show up often in the little things more than the big things.

Trust Relationships Create Real Influence

Speaker 3:14

All right, behavior number two, relying on trusting relationships. The statement says, I rely on trusting relationships to influence others. This is where influence becomes relational. In the data, I often see something interesting. Leaders sometimes rate themselves lower in this area than others rate them. That tells me two things. Relationships matter more than leaders often realize, and influence is deeply connected to trust. When trust is present, conversations are easier, feedback is better received, and alignment happens faster. Without trust, leaders default to authority because they don't have another tool. I equate relationships to bank accounts, where you are continually either making deposits or withdrawals. It's the micro moments every day of appreciating others, clearing up misunderstandings, and being present that create the relational equity that gives leaders influence. Behavior number three, creating alignment through dialogue.

Alignment Through Dialogue And Negotiation

Speaker 4:19

And the statement says, I use negotiation and discussion to help reach agreement and alignment. This is influence and action. Instead of telling, directing, or forcing, leaders ask questions, explore perspectives, and create shared understanding. This doesn't slow things down. It actually strengthens decision because people are bought in. People support what they help create.

The 360 Gap That Matters

Speaker 4:45

So now I want to talk about the gap that matters most. One of the most valuable parts of a 360 assessment is not just the scores, it's the gap. The difference between how you see yourself and how others experience you. Because influence is not what you intend, it's what others actually experience. So here are a few reflection questions. Where might I be overestimating my influence? Where might I be underestimating it? Where might my reliance on authority be stronger than I realize? These are not easy questions, but they're powerful ones.

Four Practical Shifts To Influence

Speaker 5:23

So how do you strengthen your influence? If you want to grow your influence as a leader, here are a few practical shifts. First, model what you expect. Don't just communicate values, demonstrate them consistently. Second, invest in relationships. Take time to understand people, not just manage tasks. Number three, ask before you tell. Create space for others to think and contribute. And number four, build alignment, not just compliance. Focus on shared understanding, not just direction.

Closing Takeaway And Next Steps

Speaker 6:00

So as we wrap up this series, here's what I want to leave you with. Leadership isn't just about what you say, it's how people experience you. Because at the end of the day, influence isn't what you intend, it's what they experience. And the more aware you become of the gap, the more powerful your leadership becomes. So, I hope you enjoyed

Subscribe Book And Website CTA

Speaker 6:22

today's episode. Be sure to share it with another leader who needs it. And if the discussion about Leadership 360s piqued your interest for your executive and senior leadership teams, reach out to us so we can help support your leadership development goals. I'll see you next time. Like what you heard on today's episode and want to go deeper? Subscribe to this podcast so you never miss an episode. You can also pick up my book, Lead Anyone, on Amazon. Then, go to my website to check out ways that we can support your leadership goals. From executive retreats to customized training and coaching, my team of experts will help you level up your leadership and accelerate your results. Go to www.eliseboggs.com for more info.