Episode 45: When Influence Breaks Down: What Great Leaders Do in Accountability Conversations | 12MinuteLeadership

Accountability is one of the biggest tests of leadership influence.

When performance slips, leaders often default to authority because it feels faster, clearer, and more in control. While authority may drive short-term compliance, it rarely builds ownership.

In this episode, we cover:

• Why accountability often triggers leaders into authority mode
• The difference between compliance vs. ownership
• How to lead with curiosity before correction
• Why understanding the root cause matters
• How to hold standards without damaging trust
• A simple question to ask before every accountability conversation

 Listen in to learn how to hold the line without losing the person — and build lasting influence through the way you lead accountability.

Transcript

Welcome And Show Promise

Speaker 0:02

Welcome to the 12 Minute Leadership Podcast, where in 12 minutes or less, I'll share small things that you can put into immediate practice that will make a big difference in your leadership effectiveness. I'm your host, Elise Boggs Morales, leadership professor, consultant, and coach. For the last 17 years, I have helped thousands of leaders level up their influence and achieve remarkable results. If you want to trade compliance for true commitment and create your dream team, you are in the right place. Get ready for a quick hit of practical wisdom to increase your team's engagement, inspire top performance, and retain your best talent. Ready to level up your influence and get better results? 12 minutes starts now. Hi everyone, Elise here. Welcome back to the podcast. Today I'm continuing our series on the difference between authority and influence in leadership. And in this part of the series, we're focusing on something very specific: the situations where leaders are most tempted to default into authority instead of being intentional about using influence. The very essence of true leadership is influence. And we ideally want to lead that way, but there's certain moments in leadership where it's much easier to fall back on authority, especially when pressure is higher, emotions are involved, or results matter. And last week we talked about the first one of those situations, conflict. What happens when there's tension, disagreement, or things aren't going smoothly? And how quickly even strong leaders can default to control instead of staying intentional with their influence. If you missed that episode, check it out. So today we're going to talk about another one of those moments. And that is accountability. It's one thing to build relationships and to lead with influence when things are going well, but when someone isn't meeting expectations, when performance isn't where it needs to be, when results matter, that's when leadership gets tested, or we experience those common leader trigger points. Just like in conflict, under pressure, we can be tempted to default despite our desire to stay in influence. We default to what feels fastest, what feels clearest, what feels like control. And in accountability conversations, that default often looks like authority. We get more directive, more firm, more focused on the gap. This isn't working. This needs to change. Here's what I expect going forward. And again, none of that is wrong. Standards matter, clarity matters. But here's the problem: when accountability is driven by only authority, you may get compliance, but you rarely get ownership. And this is one of the biggest complaints I hear from leaders. The desire to create a sense of true ownership within their teams. People do just enough, they wait to be told instead of taking initiative. They disengage from the outcome. And over time, you become the one carrying the standard. And that's exhausting. And I see this a lot with high-performing leaders. They care deeply about results, they have high expectations, but they find themselves thinking, why do I have to keep pushing everything forward? And this is where the shift matters. Because accountability at its best is not about control. It's about ownership. And ownership doesn't come from pressure alone, it comes from influence. So what does that look like? It starts with this. Instead of leading with the gap, great leaders lead with creating a sense of understanding, not as a way of lowering the standard, but as a way to understand what's actually driving the behavior. If someone isn't meeting expectations, there's always a reason. It could be clarity, it could be capacity, it could be confidence. And if we skip over that and go straight to correction, we may fix the moment, but we miss the route. Here's a simple example. Let's say someone on your team misses a deadline. The authority response might be, this can't happen again. I need you to meet your deadlines moving forward. Clear, direct, and again, not wrong. But the influence-based response might sound like this. Hey, I noticed the deadline slipped. Walk me through what happened. Now you've created space. And from there, you can still reinforce the expectation. Okay, that makes sense. Moving forward, this deadline is important. Let's talk about what needs to be in place so this doesn't happen again. Now you're building ownership. The conversation isn't happening to them, it's happening with them. And that's the difference. And just like we talked about in previous episodes, this is where understanding people matters. Some individuals will respond best to clarity and directness, like our red performers, others need space to process, like our green process-oriented people, and others need connection before correction, our blues or people-oriented people. And influence means you adapt, so the message actually lands, not just once, but in a way that changes behavior over time. And here's something important to remember: holding someone accountable and maintaining trust are not in conflict with each other. In fact, the best leaders do both. They are clear, they are consistent, and they are intentional in how they show up. Not reactive, not avoidant, not overly forceful, intentional. And if you're listening to this and thinking, I know I tend to either avoid accountability or go too hard, again, you're not alone. Most leaders swing between those two. They either avoid or overcorrect. And influence sits right in the middle. It allows you to hold the standard without losing the relationship. And just like everything we have been talking about in this series, this is a skill. In my book Lead Anyone, I talk about how leadership is built in small, consistent actions and accountability is one of those moments. It's an opportunity to build trust, to build ownership, and to reinforce your influence as a leader, not through control, but through how you show up. And here's one thing you can take with you this week. The next time you need to hold someone accountable, before you go into the conversation, ask yourself, am I about to lead with authority or lead in a way that builds ownership? That question alone can shift everything. Because at the end of the day, accountability isn't just about getting results. It's about how you get them. And the leaders who build lasting influence are the ones who know how to hold the line without losing a person. So, I hope you enjoyed today's episode. Share it with another leader who needs it. I'll see you next time. Like what you heard on today's episode and want to go deeper? Subscribe to this podcast so you never miss an episode. You can also pick up my book, Lead Anyone, on Amazon. Then, go to my website to check out ways that we can support your leadership goals. From executive retreats to customized training and coaching, my team of experts will help you level up your leadership and accelerate your results. Go to www.eliseboggs.com for more info.