Episode 61: The Coaching Leader Part 2: How Great Leaders Coach | 12MinuteLeadership

Last week, we explored why coaching is one of the highest-return investments a leader can make. This week, we're taking the next step by making coaching practical. What does a great coaching conversation actually sound like? In this episode, Elise walks through a realistic coaching scenario and shares the habits that help leaders develop people instead of simply solving their problems.

In this episode, you'll learn how to make coaching a natural part of your leadership conversations.

You'll discover:

• Why trust must come before transformation
• How curiosity creates better coaching conversations
• Why great questions develop stronger leaders than quick answers
• How to listen for the beliefs behind someone's words
• Why coaching should be tailored to each individual
• How to resist the urge to rescue and build confidence instead
• The importance of ending every coaching conversation with clear next steps and follow-up
• Why believing in someone's potential can change the trajectory of their leadership

Coaching isn't another leadership technique—it's a leadership mindset. Whether you're leading a new supervisor or a seasoned executive, these practical coaching principles will help you develop people who can think, grow, and lead with greater confidence. If this episode resonated with you, subscribe to the podcast, leave a review, and share it with another leader who wants to build people, not just solve problems.

Transcript

The 12 Minute Leadership Promise

Speaker 0:02

Welcome to the 12-Minute Leadership Podcast, where in 12 minutes or less, I'll share small things that you can put into immediate practice that will make a big difference in your leadership effectiveness. I'm your host, Elise Boggs Morales, leadership professor, consultant, and coach. For the last 17 years, I have helped thousands of leaders level up their influence and achieve remarkable results. If you want to treat compliance for true commitment and create your dream team, you are in the right place. Get ready for a quick hit of practical wisdom to increase your team's engagement, inspire top performance, and retain your best talent. Ready to level up your influence and get better results? 12 minutes starts now.

From Coaching Theory To Real Talk

Speaker 0:52

Hi everyone, Elise here. Welcome back to the podcast. Last week we kicked off this series by talking about why coaching is one of the highest return investments you can make as a leader. We talked about the difference between managing, mentoring, and coaching. And we talked about who to coach and why coaching is one of the most powerful ways to develop people rather than simply direct them. Today, I want to make this incredibly practical. Maybe after listening to last week's episode, you thought, okay, I want to coach more, but what does a great coaching conversation actually sound like? Over the years, I've coached hundreds of leaders and trained many more to become better coaches themselves. While every conversation is unique, I've noticed some common practices that consistently help people grow. So instead of giving you a list of 10 tips, I'd like you to imagine sitting in on a coaching conversation. Let's imagine someone on your team walks into your office. We'll call her Sarah. Sarah has recently been promoted into a new leadership role. She's bright, she's hardworking, people respect her. But today she sits down and says, I don't think I'm very good at leading. I feel like I'm failing. How do you respond?

Build Trust Before You Fix

Speaker 2:09

First, start by building trust. The temptation is to jump right into problem solving. After all, that's what many leaders have been rewarded for throughout their careers. But great coaches know something important. People don't grow because someone gave them better advice. They grow because someone created an environment where they felt safe enough to think honestly. So instead of immediately reassuring Sarah or telling her what she should do, you might simply say, okay, tell me more about that. Or I'm really glad you brought this up. Those aren't dramatic coaching questions, but they communicate something really powerful. I'm here, I'm listening, this is a safe conversation. People won't wrestle with difficult truths if they're busy protecting themselves. Trust always comes before transformation. One of my favorite lectures on trust is Brene Brown's The Anatomy of Trust. You can check it out on YouTube.

Stay Curious Longer Than Comfortable

Speaker 3:07

Okay, another tip: stay curious longer than feels comfortable. Let's say Sarah says, I just don't think I'm cut out to lead. Most leaders immediately start fixing. No, you're doing great. You'll be fine. Everyone feels that way. While those responses are well-intentioned, they often end the conversation before we've even understood what's going on. So instead, ask some questions and become curious. What makes you say that? Can you tell me about a recent situation? What happened? Curiosity slows us down. And I found there's almost always more beneath the surface than what people initially tell us. Another thing to remember is ask more questions than you give answers. This may be the biggest shift leaders have to make, especially experienced leaders, because you've probably built your career by having good answers. But coaching isn't about demonstrating your expertise. It's about developing someone else's thinking. So instead of saying, here's what I would do, try asking, well, what options have you considered? If you weren't afraid of making the wrong decision, what might you do? What's keeping you from taking that step? One of my favorite reminders is this every answer you give solves today's problem. Every great question you ask develops tomorrow's leader. That's why coaching creates such a high return on investment. You're not just solving one issue, you're strengthening someone's ability to solve the next

Listen For Beliefs Under Words

Speaker 4:36

one on their own. It's also important to listen for what isn't being said. Another thing I've noticed is that great coaches don't just listen to words, they listen for beliefs. Sarah says, I'm failing. But maybe what she really believes is I expected myself to be perfect, or if I make mistakes, people won't respect me. Those are very different conversations. Sometimes the real coaching opportunity isn't the situation someone describes, it's the belief driving it. The more you learn to listen beneath the words, the more meaningful your coaching conversations become. Also, remember that every person is different. One mistake I see leaders make is coaching everyone the same way, but people don't all learn the same way. Some people need encouragement, others need challenge, some need time to think before answering, others process out loud. The best coaches adapt their approach without changing their commitment to helping people grow. Good coaching is never one size fits all.

Resist The Urge To Rescue

Speaker 5:40

It's also important to remember to resist the urge to rescue. Eventually, Sarah asks, So what do you think I should do? Wouldn't it be easier to just tell her? Absolutely, but here's what I've learned. Every time we rescue someone too quickly, we unintentionally reinforce the idea they need us to solve their problems. Instead, you could try saying, Before I answer that, what do you think your next step should be? You're not abandoning them, you're communicating something much more powerful. I believe you're capable of thinking this through. Sometimes confidence doesn't come from receiving the answer, it comes from discovering you already had one.

End With Clarity And Follow Up

Speaker 6:23

And finally, end with clarity. One of the biggest missteps leaders make is having a wonderful conversation and then ending it with, well, good luck. Coaching should create clarity. Ask questions like, what does success look like? What's one thing you'll do this week? When will you do it? Without a clear next step, even the best coaching conversations tend to fade away. Insight is valuable, action is what changes behavior. And don't let the conversation end there. Perhaps one of the simplest and most overlooked things you can do as a coach is follow up. A week later, stop by Sarah's office. Ask, how did that conversation go? What happened? What did you learn? Nothing communicates I believe in you, quite like remembering what mattered to someone. Follow-up tells people this just wasn't another meeting, it was the beginning of a development journey.

Believe In People First

Speaker 7:17

There's one final thought I'd like to leave you with. Believe in people before they believe in themselves. I think it's the most important one. The best coaches see potential before performance. They see leaders before titles, growth before perfection, potential before results. If you think back over your own career, chances are someone believed in you before you fully believed in yourself. Maybe that gave you an opportunity you didn't think you were ready for. Maybe they encouraged you and your confidence was low. Maybe they saw gifts and strengths you couldn't yet see. As leaders, we now have the privilege of doing that for someone else. Never underestimate what can happen when another human being consistently hears, I believe you're capable of more than you realize. Sometimes our belief becomes the bridge that helps someone discover confidence of their own. So in closing, and as we wrap up this two-part series, I hope one thing has become clear. Coaching isn't another item on your leadership checklist. It isn't a meeting, it isn't a performance review, it isn't another leadership technique. It is a way of leading. It requires curiosity and patience and listening and trust, and also great questions and a genuine belief that people are capable of more than they're currently demonstrating. Yes, coaching often takes longer than simply giving someone the answer, but that's because coaching isn't designed to create faster conversations, it's designed to create stronger

One Conversation Challenge This Week

Speaker 8:50

people. So this week, I'd encourage you to choose one person. Schedule one conversation, ask one more question than you normally would. Listen a little longer than feels comfortable. Resist the urge to solve every problem and see what happens. You'll see that leadership isn't about having all the answers. It's about helping other people discover they're capable of finding them. The greatest legacy you'll ever leave as a leader won't simply be the goals you achieved. It will be the people who became better because you invested in them. So, I hope that you enjoyed this two-part series on coaching. Share it with another leader who needs it. I'll see you next time.

Subscribe Book And Support Options

Speaker 9:33

Like what you heard on today's episode and want to go deeper? Subscribe to this podcast so you never miss an episode. You can also pick up my book, Lead Anyone, on Amazon. Then, go to my website to check out ways that we can support your leadership goals. From executive retreats to customized training and coaching, my team of experts will help you level up your leadership and accelerate your results. Go to www.eliseboggs.com for more info.