Boundaries without the guilt: How people-pleasers learn to say no

You can be the most capable person in the room and still have no idea how to say no without guilt.

In this episode of Naked at the Top, an AI ethicist and founder who advises global businesses on equity gets honest about the one thing she still can’t do cleanly: hold a boundary in her personal life. Aubrey Blanche walks through how she rebuilt her relationship with saying no, why community beats willpower, and how she moved through a year when, in her words, the floor fell out.

You’ll learn:

• Why “everyone is deserving of compassion, not everyone is deserving of proximity” can reset how you think about boundaries
• The working document Aubrey uses to catch herself before she people-pleases her way into burnout
• How to tell the difference between rest that sustains you and avoidance dressed up as self-care
• Why your cup doesn’t have to be full before you can show up for someone
• What “principled rest” looks like when stepping back feels like quitting
• How to move through a season when the floor falls out, and what post-traumatic growth means in practice

By the end, you’ll have a sharper way to decide who gets your time and your proximity, and a bit of permission to put yourself on that list.

If this one lands, like the episode, drop a comment with the boundary you’re working on, and subscribe so you don’t miss the next conversation.

Chapters

(00:00) The last time Aubrey felt naked

(00:18) The post she chose not to delete

(04:19) The Ethics Centre, The Mathpath and AI ethics

(07:53) Luck, gratitude and an uneven playing field

(09:28) Mirror Mirror: a voice note from her best friend

(11:02) Why your cup doesn’t have to be full to give

(14:19) Great at work boundaries, terrible at personal ones

(15:42) Compassion for everyone, proximity for a few

(16:27) The working document that stops her people-pleasing

(18:16) Why valuing yourself is the hardest part

(19:59) The inner critic and the Virgo problem

(22:42) People-pleasing, adoption and “don’t be a problem”

(25:43) Between the Lines begins

(26:28) Self-worth, achievement and defeating capitalism

(31:03) Selling social justice to white men

(37:58) Cynicism is an option for the privileged

(40:44) When the floor fell out: navigating change

(45:26) Where to find Aubrey

Thanks to our sponsors

Thanks to YourHR for sponsoring this episode. YourHR works with 100s of businesses to cut the jargon, simplify the systems, and build workplaces where people genuinely want to be. Find out where your business stands with their free HR Health Check in minutes:
 🔗 https://www.yourhrsystem.com/health-check/
💼 https://www.linkedin.com/company/your-hr-team-and-system/

Thanks to AIXFamily for sponsoring this episode. AIXFamily is the parental control platform built by a dad of three after a decade in network security couldn't turn up a tool that met his own family's needs. It runs at the network level, so deleting the app or switching on a VPN gets your kids nowhere, and every block comes with an explanation for them.
 Join the waitlist for founding-member access before it launches:
 🔗 https://www.aixfamily.com

Follow Aubrey Blanche

Website: https://aubreyblanche.com

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/adblanche/

The Mathpath: https://www.linkedin.com/company/the-mathpath/

The bAIbes Podcast: https://open.spotify.com/show/2FsTI46SW4A9eCMqeexIwo?si=e0f6c9f0792b48f5

STORIES FOR BUSINESS NEWSLETTER:
https://storiesforbusiness.substack.com/

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