All In Your Bizz w/ Reka & Los
Welcome to a bold, no-holds-barred couples podcast where we dive into life, love, and everything in between-uncensored and unfiltered. As a Generation X couple, we're bringing our real-life experiences, raw honesty, and sharp wit to the table as we explore serious issues, controversial opinions, and laugh-out-loud moments that matter. No topic is off limits-from relationships and social issues to pop culture and personal growth-we're getting all up in your business and saying what others won't. Our goal? To spark thought, share truths, and connect with listeners through honest, heartfelt, and hilarious conversation.
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All In Your Bizz w/ Reka & Los
No Invite, No Problem: Understanding the Hidden Rules of Social Gatherings
We tackle the age-old social dilemma of what it means when you don't receive an invitation to an event from someone you know. Our discussion explores the etiquette and emotional implications of being left off guest lists.
• Defining what constitutes an invitation - a written or verbal request to attend an event
• The practical reasons hosts limit guest lists - food, space, and controlling the event atmosphere
• Why some invitations specify "no plus ones" or other restrictions
• How to handle the feeling of being excluded when you discover you weren't invited
• The various non-personal reasons someone might not invite you - oversight, financial constraints, rotating guest lists
• Discussion of "pay-to-attend" events and whether they're appropriate
• The importance of respecting boundaries when you're not invited to an event
If you've ever found yourself wondering about the social politics of invitations or felt the sting of being left out, this episode offers perspective on navigating these common but complicated social situations.
Just make them dance, dance already. You make them dance, dance already. You make them dance, dance already. You make them. That's our idea. I'm gonna make you sing it.
Speaker 2:Welcome, welcome to the real world, kids, welcome to the Los Enrique Show. Like always, we are all in your biz. Let's go.
Speaker 1:Yes sir, yes sir, I have a question you do.
Speaker 2:What's your question?
Speaker 1:Please help me.
Speaker 2:Okay.
Speaker 1:Please help me so if there is an event birthday party, you know, business party, anything you know, celebration and you don't get an invitation, okay, okay, if you don't get an invitation, does that mean that you were not invited? And mean like if it was a close friend you know, or somebody you knew, somebody you talked to, whatever it is, however, maybe on a regular basis every now and then, whatever it is, you found out they was having a good together and people's like yeah, I got an invitation and you didn't. What does that mean? Well, let's go to the root.
Speaker 2:Let's go to the root.
Speaker 1:Let's go to the root.
Speaker 2:Invitation defined is a written or verbal request inviting someone to go somewhere or to do something. So, if you did not receive a verbal or written request, you were not invited. That means I was not invited. I agree, yeah.
Speaker 1:So I can't just put you know like, you know like, hey, you know like, I must show up anyway. I mean, even though I could, but technically that person or that's not proper, yeah, that group of the group of people. That person did not invite me to come, no matter what kind of relationship I had with them. Is that right? Is that right?
Speaker 2:I think I would say 80 percent. But some people are like just come, If I'm having something, just come, Like they don't.
Speaker 1:I need an invitation?
Speaker 2:I agree, I do too. I need that info, and if I were hosting something, I would like to send my invites out, not to exclude, but so that I know that I have enough food and drink and space for everyone Right, enough food and drink and space for everyone right, but then also um. The invitation kind of sets the tone on the type of people and guests that you have at your event as well because if, let's say, I was invited, and then it said you can bring a plus one, or and then I brought a person that likes to fight the tone is going to be different.
Speaker 2:You know the expectation is different. You know people, especially if it's at their home or in front of you. Know people that they want to show a good time without them feeling threatened. Or you know you just sometimes you just don't have the energy for foolishness and craziness so it's important, it's an invite?
Speaker 1:yeah, if it's invite only and it's specific.
Speaker 2:Sometimes you have to be specific. You know, invite only, no plus ones or anything like that. That way you can you can control your guest list. You know how much food you have, you know how much drink you have and you know how much space you'll have for your guests okay.
Speaker 1:So now, personally, now, how would you feel? Okay, now I put the question out there, but how would you feel if one of your close home girls, whatever you found out for somebody else, they was having something, however, whatever, and they got an invitation and they get, they did not give you one. How would you handle this situation?
Speaker 2:um, I don't think there's anything to handle. What would be handled is I would not go, you know? Um, I would. I mean, I wasn't invited. Would I feel a way? Maybe, possibly. But do I say hey, I heard you had a dinner party and you didn't invite me. Well, you know that, right, I mean. So how does the conversation go Like? Do I say how was your dinner party? I heard it was nice, or I saw a few pictures from your dinner party. How was it?
Speaker 1:You know? Or what if they come back and say well, you should have just came because you know?
Speaker 2:And then I would in return say you know, I didn't receive an invitation and I respect that. You know, if I didn't receive an invitation for your specific event, then I won't just assume that I'm invited.
Speaker 1:Right. So it's safe to say in 2025, if there is an event going on For some of us that feel this way, not everybody.
Speaker 2:Some people may just pull up.
Speaker 1:Oh, because you know I'm about to put it out there. So for the most part it's out of respect. Yes, it's 2025. If somebody's having the event and they don't sing your invitation eight times out of ten, is that? Is that safe, that you were not?
Speaker 2:invited correct, boom, you did not receive a written or verbal invite. Yeah, right.
Speaker 1:So no matter how much that you see the if, even if you came across the invitation and saw it, yeah even what. If it was not directed towards you, then that means you was not you will, not you, but then also but, but also.
Speaker 2:Um, not being invited doesn't necessarily I wouldn't necessarily.
Speaker 1:How can you get out of this?
Speaker 2:no, no, I'm just taking it personal no, I mean you may, you can take it personal, but I'm just saying the host.
Speaker 2:It may not be, it may not have been intentional, it may have been an oversight, it may have been a financial reason. They had to kind of exclude or limit the guest list. You better not exclude me, you know they like. Just say, for example, for people who have weddings right, weddings for plated meals average close to a hundred dollars a plate right, so you can bring a plus one, but you can't, and it'll say sometimes on the invite no children, because then you have to pay a large amount of money for some kids to eat some chicken fingers and fries, which is 70 dollars.
Speaker 2:They don't eat and it's just like it's too much or they may have overlooked it, or it may have been consumed, and so it's not always a personal. I'm just going to exclude. You know, rika, it could, it could be an oversight, we don't know, unless we have the conversation.
Speaker 1:And then it happened more than once.
Speaker 2:Maybe I'm just not the type of person that they want to invite to their event.
Speaker 1:Then, yeah, I mean cause I'm I'm listening, I'm pulling the covers back. I feel like if I didn't get the invitation, I'm I was not invited.
Speaker 2:Right, but would you say something to that person? I?
Speaker 1:would not say nothing, I wouldn't either. I wouldn't show up and all, but I'll keep a mental note.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I mean, sometimes people have to rotate their guests, like they have so many friends, or sometimes they have to rotate. Okay, you can come. I want this person for this event and they'll miss the next event because I'll have, you know, this group of people you know, and sometimes different groups don't get along.
Speaker 1:I wish you could see my lips right now.
Speaker 2:I'm just saying I'm just saying so. It may not always be personal. There may be some logistics or you know, behind not getting the invitation.
Speaker 1:That's what I'm saying, yeah yeah, yeah that means I ain't buying. I feel like if you ain't send me no invite you, you ain't send me no text, you ain't hit me up on the phone.
Speaker 2:You weren't invited.
Speaker 1:I wasn't invited.
Speaker 2:So why are your lips turned up then?
Speaker 1:Because I just feel like I'm standing on it. I'm standing on business Like if I didn't get it, you're standing on it. So you can't be. There's no reason to be upset, because I'm not upset but I mean at least I know.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I know the truth. It's just. It's just a sour feeling maybe, but yeah, they didn't invite you, you just didn't make the list, you didn't make the cut. It's like making the basketball team I didn't make the cut yeah, boom, yeah, yeah, all right, so what do you feel about? Yeah?
Speaker 1:Boom.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah. So what do you feel about events where you were invited? Let's just say, hey, I'm having a get together, but you got to send $100 to attend. What do you think about that? You got to pay to play. What do you think about that? You gotta pay to play what?
Speaker 1:do you listen? It depends on the person, but more than likely, more likely than not, I ain't going why, okay, because usually, if I want to, I'm gonna probably bring a gift or something.
Speaker 1:However, it may be a hundred or something dollars, but I gotta pay a hundred dollars. I mean, like I'm financing your birthday or your party, your function. You know like I'm thinking, if you're having a function and you should probably you know, like why should I charge the people to come in? Not out of courtesy, I'd be like, hey, maybe you know, bring something this and that, but I'm not about to tell you to bring two, three hundred dollars, even a hundred dollars, and all like, please, I must, I must be in the planning of the party then You're going to say uninvite me, you can uninvite me.
Speaker 1:No, I just want to show up, I uninvited.
Speaker 2:My own self, your own self well, yeah, how do you feel about that? Oh, I think it depends, like you said, like I. If it were something that I would have to pay for, I would look at it and see if it would be something that I was interested in. If it's something like, hey, we're gonna go rock climbing, everybody you know outside on you know on a hike, you know everybody send me $100. And then we're all going to meet up and then we'll have a tour guide and that money goes towards paying the tour guy, I'm gonna, I'm not gonna go yeah yeah it.
Speaker 2:It just has to be something that I'm interested in doing.
Speaker 1:I would say right and it makes sense yeah don't, don't have invite people so it can finance your, your dream, your dream party yeah, I agree no, it ain't gonna happen, but okay, so I feel a lot better then I guess the question has been answered. Yeah about the invitation, because, uh, even though I still feel some type of way and all, but at least I feel at least you know I'm not the only one yeah, you're not the only one didn't get an invitation.
Speaker 2:A lot of people didn't make the cut yeah.
Speaker 1:You didn't make the cut and they don't want you there.
Speaker 2:No, it could be other things. Let's just say, charge it to their mind and not their.
Speaker 1:My lips turn it up. Okay, okay, all right, thank you.