Being Mary
Mary Johnson Van Den Berge is a "wear your heart on your sleeve" kind of woman, an unapologetic bookworm, and an online shopping champion. She devours murder mysteries in every form — whether in books or podcasts — with an enthusiasm that surprises even herself. Raised on a farm near St. Marys in Southwestern Ontario, she now calls Petrolia home, nestled in Ontario’s scenic “banana belt.”
Mary is a proud advocate for women’s rights and believes deeply in the power of honest conversation. On her podcast, she creates a safe and open space for women to explore the emotional layers of life—through candid conversations about relationships, identity, healing, motherhood, and more. It’s not just her story anymore—it’s all of ours.
Being Mary
What Caregivers Need — Help, Compassion & Healing
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Episode 2: What Caregivers Need — Help, Compassion & Healing
Hi, it’s Mary — and welcome back to Being Mary.
Last time, I shared my personal journey as a caregiver.
Today, I want to talk about what caregivers need from the people around them — how you can really show up for someone who’s caring for a loved one. Even the smallest gestures can mean the world.
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Episode 2: What Caregivers Need — Help, Compassion & Healing
Hi, it’s Mary — and welcome back to Being Mary.
In Episode 1, What Caregivers Need; I shared how hard caregiving can be — and today I want to share some ideas on what caregivers really need from their friends and loved ones.
If you have someone in your life who’s caring for a terminally ill loved one, here are some things you can do to support them:
✨ Offer tangible help.
Instead of saying “let me know what I can do,” say:
“I can bring dinner Tuesday — does that work?”
“I’ll mow your lawn this weekend.”
“Want me to drop your Amazon returns?”
Decision fatigue is real, so make it easy for them to just say “yes.”
✨ Offer respite.
Sit with their loved one so they can leave for an hour or two — even if it’s just to wander through Walmart alone, go to a doctor’s appointment, or just breathe.
That gift of time is priceless.
✨ Protect their time.
Help organize meal plans, help with errands, help handle the little administrative things — like taking their car to be serviced.
✨ Check in.
Send a text that doesn’t expect a reply. Drop off a little chocolate or a kind note in their mail box or at their door. Let them know they’re not alone, and that they’re doing a good job — because most caregivers feel like they’re not.
And the most important thing…..
✨ Stick around.
Don’t disappear when it gets hard, and don’t forget them after their loved one passes.
Remember birthdays, anniversaries, the date their loved one died — and let them know you remember. That means more than you know.
Caregiving doesn’t just end when their person passes. There is a ton of administrative things to be done.
And we are left with scars, grief, and memories that can feel like too much to carry sometimes.
But we keep going — not because it’s easy, but because that love is still with us.
If you’re a caregiver listening today: you are not alone.
And if you’re a friend of a caregiver: don’t let them feel alone.
Thanks for being here with me today. And if you can contribute to this check list please put it in the comments.
Until next time, Keep breathing, keep loving yourself and most of all keep being you!