Being Mary

The Page I Almost Didn't Write

Mary Vandenberge Season 2 Episode 9

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0:00 | 4:29

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There are things in life we only begin to understand much later.

Lately, I’ve been noticing something that surprised me a little.

I’m just starting to understand what it truly feels like to be loved by people.

Sometimes when we’re younger — or when we’re in the middle of life — we’re simply trying to survive the chapters we’re living in. We don’t always stop long enough to ask what things are supposed to feel like.

Looking back now, after marriage, loss, and the journey of writing my memoir, I see so much more clearly.

I’ve also come to realize how much I love hearing other people’s stories.

Everyone has one.

And when someone trusts you enough to share their story, it fills your heart in a way that’s hard to explain.

Maybe that’s one of the quiet gifts of growing older — finally beginning to understand the story we’ve been living all along.

🎙 New episode of Being Mary is out today.

📖 And if you’d ever like to read more of my story, my memoir Being Mary is available online — you’ll find the links in my bio.

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“The Page I Almost Didn’t Write”

Hi, it’s Mary — and welcome back to Being Mary.

Lately I’ve been noticing something in my life that has surprised me a little.

I’m just starting to understand what it truly feels like to be loved by people.

And that may sound like a strange thing to say at my age, but it’s an honest reflection.

Sometimes when we’re younger — or when we’re in the middle of life — we’re just trying to survive the chapters we’re living in. We don’t always stop long enough to ask ourselves what things are supposed to feel like.

Now, when I watch other couples…
 I see something I didn’t always recognize before.

I see husbands and wives who genuinely care about each other.

Who support each other.

Who treat each other with kindness.

And it has made me realize that some of those things were missing in my own marriage.

But at the time, I don’t think I saw it clearly.

I was just trying to get through the days the best way I knew how.

You know, Life has a funny way of teaching us things… sometimes much later than we expect.

Going through marriage…
 then loss…
 and then writing my memoir…

Those experiences have made me look at life differently.

I have to tell you that writing a memoir is a strange journey.

Because you start revisiting chapters of your life that you maybe hadn’t looked at closely in years.

And sometimes you see things more clearly the second time around.

But something else has happened along the way.

I’ve discovered how much I love hearing other people’s stories.

Everyone has one.

And when someone trusts you enough to share their story… it fills my heart in a way that’s hard to explain.

Because while my story is unique to me…
 their story is unique to them.

And yet somehow we still understand each other.

There’s something very human about that.

Not everyone is comfortable with me sharing my story.

And I understand that.

When you tell the truth about your life, it doesn’t just belong to you.

Other people appear in those chapters too.

But I’ve had to remind myself of something.

This is my journey.

These are my chapters.

And for the first time in my life, I’m learning that it’s okay to have a voice in my own story.

That’s still something I’m learning.

Putting myself first doesn’t come naturally to me.

It’s something I still struggle with.

But I’m getting better.

Can you relate?

What I know now is this…

Life has a way of shaping us through the chapters we live.

Marriage.

Loss.

Healing.

And sometimes… finding our voice a little later than we expected.

But every chapter teaches us something.

“And maybe the real gift of growing older is finally understanding the story we’ve been living all along.”

And if you’d like to read more of that journey, my memoir Being Mary is available online — you’ll find the links in my bio.

Until next time on Being Mary.