Grace, Gravy & Made-Up Traditions

Thanksgiving comes with feelings the same way it comes with carbs: too many at once and all hitting differently. This isn’t the curated holiday softness people pretend to have — this is gratitude with seasoning, boundaries, chaos, and the kind of honesty that only shows up when the year has been dragging you by the ankles.

In this holiday feast of Twin Tangents, Anthony and Nalee dig into the real side of thankfulness — the people who held them up, the lessons that bruised, the traditions they invented, and the growth they didn’t see coming. Between emotional plot twists, friendship revelations, and food tangents that devolve in the best possible way, this episode serves comfort, comedy, and clarity on one overloaded plate.

We’re diving into:
 🦃 Grace in Real Time → what it looks like to show up grateful even when the year felt heavy, hectic, or flat-out rude
 💛 The Emotional Buffet → making room for sadness, joy, resentment, relief, pride, and everything in between
 👯‍♀️ Chosen Family & Friendsgiving Vibes → redefining who gets a seat at your table and why
 🍜 Cultural Remix Thanksgiving → noodles in the turkey, egg roll sides, and the delicious chaos of blended traditions
 🔥 Boundaries, Growth & “Damn

⚠️ Twin Tangents: Because Therapy Was Booked ⚠️
 Unfiltered. Unapologetic. Unhinged (just a bit).

Hosted by Nalee & Anthony—this is your safe, spicy space to spiral. Expect adult content, hot takes, and high-functioning chaos.

And yes, we call our listeners H.O.E.S.
 (Hilarious. Over it. Emotionally unstable. Spicy.)
 It’s not an insult. It’s a hoe-mmunity.

What if we did choose chaos… but thoughtfully?

Nalee’s Hypothetical Hotline delivers advice that’s 70% emotionally intelligent, 20% petty, and 10% “please don’t actually do this.” Send in your hypotheticals that are absolutely not hypotheticals, and we’ll help you navigate your main-character energy with just enough restraint.

Growth. With seasoning.

This isn’t therapy. This isn’t mediation. This is Twin Tangents Court.

Where group chat screenshots become evidence, red flags are entered into the record, and absolutely no one leaves unjudged. From dating disasters to roommate crimes to petty indictments, we bring the gavel down with dramatic precision.

New cases drop every other Friday at 8 AM Central. Bring your receipts. Prepare for sentencing.

A playful, no-nonsense reminder from Anthony and Nalee to hit that follow button, leave a review, and share the pod with your favorite chaotic friend. Set over a snappy, upbeat jingle, this mid-roll blends humor and honesty to encourage listener support—because subscribing helps fuel the tangents, rants, and revelations you didn’t know you needed.

Just when you thought the chaos was over—Anthony and Nalee invite you to keep the tangents going. With a soft outro vibe and one last wink to the listener, this post-roll points you toward the Twin Tangents website and socials for more unfiltered content. Because if you’re still here, you clearly get it… and we love that for you.

🎙️ Stay connected with Twin Tangents Because Therapy Was Booked
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Transcript

Holiday Check-In & Halloween Recap

NALEE 1:19

Happy turkey day, gobble gobble hoes. While everyone else is fighting over who's in charge of the mashed potatoes, we're here to serve something actually worth digesting.

ANTHONY 1:30

That's right. This Thanksgiving, we're dishing out gratitude, grace, and a side of self-awareness. Because let's be real, some of us came here just for the pie and emotional growth.

NALEE 1:42

So whether you're turning in from your family's dining table, your solo apartment feast, or hiding in the bathroom, scrolling TikTok between courses, we gotcha.

ANTHONY 1:53

This is your Thanksgiving table without the guilt trips or political fights. Mostly.

NALEE 1:58

Alright. What's good? What's new? What's poppin'?

ANTHONY 2:03

As we know, we like to check in. Nothing's good. Nothing's good with me. No, everything's good with me. Okay, that's good. Nothing new. Same shit. Different day.

NALEE 2:14

Okay.

ANTHONY 2:14

My uncle's healing up from this procedure.

NALEE 2:18

You sound so like nice. Normally you're like, hold up, bitch. This is what's up.

ANTHONY 2:23

Oh, should I tune up the honest?

NALEE 2:25

Yeah. Did you pass out candy this year?

ANTHONY 2:28

I did not pass out candy, and I never passed out candy because I'm the only I'm one of two houses on my block. And the other one, I assure you, doesn't hand out candy because it's a priest. And I'm pretty sure like the whole religion thing that like Oh, it's the devil worshipping and stuff.

NALEE 2:48

That's crazy.

ANTHONY 2:49

They don't celebrate it.

NALEE 2:50

But don't you put like Halloween decorations up?

ANTHONY 2:53

I do.

NALEE 2:55

That's so weird.

ANTHONY 2:56

I think it's just out of spite that I put like I have those like cutouts of the Sanderson sisters.

NALEE 3:01

Yeah.

ANTHONY 3:02

And so I put those in my front yard normally. Just to spite the church across the street.

NALEE 3:07

That's hilarious.

ANTHONY 3:09

But no, this year I didn't put them up with everything that was going on with like my uncle and Richard and everything. And it was like That's true. Yeah, so I didn't decorate it all for Halloween this year. But I never I never hand out candy either. Cause I mean, like I said, kids don't stop. One of two houses. Yeah. And plus, you know how I feel about kids? You think I want them knocking on my door?

NALEE 3:31

I don't know.

ANTHONY 3:32

Task. You sell me.

NALEE 3:34

You're gonna save kids. You might as well pass out candy for them, too.

ANTHONY 3:37

What do you mean save kids?

NALEE 3:39

Our Halloween episode. You're gonna go in and save them in a house, but you ain't gonna give them some candy.

ANTHONY 3:44

That's that's let their parents rot their teeth. I'm just trying to make sure that they get to live alone.

NALEE 3:49

You're gonna rot their booty hose by kicking it.

ANTHONY 3:53

Speaking of kids, remember that kid? I showed you that video of my the neighbor kid.

NALEE 3:56

Dude.

ANTHONY 3:57

He is fucked up.

NALEE 3:59

No, he's fucked up. Legit.

ANTHONY 4:01

Sure.

NALEE 4:01

Yeah.

ANTHONY 4:02

Legit. I was like, I seriously thought he was gonna hit that other kid.

NALEE 4:05

No, he looked like he was gonna beat up that black kid.

ANTHONY 4:07

Yeah, he did. But yeah, what about you? Did you hand out any candy? What's new with you? What's how was your Halloween? Did you go out dress up like a slut?

NALEE 4:18

Well, yeah. We went out for Halloween. It was really fun. I got a little bit too wasted.

ANTHONY 4:27

But no, she's British.

NALEE 4:29

Yeah. A British woman. Yeah, a British woman. Did not pass out candy because I was out being a hoe. Being a fucking hoe.

ANTHONY 4:37

Literally.

NALEE 4:38

Not literally.

ANTHONY 4:39

Did you get dick down?

NALEE 4:42

Oh, there's a hesitation. For the future.

ANTHONY 4:45

Oh.

NALEE 4:47

No. No, no dicks this year. Just tricks and yeah, no treats.

ANTHONY 4:51

Tricks and dicks are the same thing.

NALEE 4:53

Just begin tricks, no dicks.

ANTHONY 4:55

Tricks and dicks are the same thing.

NALEE 4:57

But yeah, it was fun. I love Halloween. It's like my favorite. Halloween is like my Christmas. I love Halloween.

ANTHONY 5:05

Yeah, I've I know a lot of people like that. They're like, they're not Christmas people.

NALEE 5:09

Yeah.

ANTHONY 5:09

But like Halloween.

NALEE 5:12

You know why? For me? It could be because I'm like a cheap ass bitch, but Halloween I could handle. I could handle buying a little bit of candy and giving out. But when it comes to Christmas, bitch, no. That's like three, four paychecks. It's like you gotta buy everything every every weekend for me. Like it seems during Christmas. So it's just like I lose a lot of money during Christmas.

ANTHONY 5:35

We're gonna have to address this on our one of our upcoming holiday episodes because you don't need to spend money on people.

NALEE 5:44

I mean, technically I don't, but I do. You know what I mean? Like, people don't be giving they don't, they're not getting presents because they're probably listening to this and they're saying, I ain't got a present for like 10 years from this bitch. What the fuck does she mean? But I mean like expensive. I don't know.

ANTHONY 6:03

So this money that you're spending, these three or four paychecks, yeah. Are you buying stuff for yourself?

NALEE 6:08

No. It's definitely not for myself because I ain't I seen nothing. I see nothing.

ANTHONY 6:15

So who do you usually get presents for?

NALEE 6:17

B. But you know B's expensive, though.

ANTHONY 6:20

Yeah, that's on him. But B wants to be expensive. I'd be like, here's a hundred dollar gift card. You pay the other$500 for whatever the fuck you want.

NALEE 6:30

Yeah, but I don't know. I don't know. I just feel like in general, Christmas is like a very expensive holiday.

ANTHONY 6:36

It is. It's become so unnecessarily Hallmark, yeah, overpriced, unnecessary. But I love me some Christmas. And I don't even care about the like now that I'm older, I don't care about presents anymore.

NALEE 6:50

Same.

ANTHONY 6:51

I mean, it's nice if there's like that one thing that I really want.

NALEE 6:54

Yeah. But like I could have Christmere all Christmas all year round. I could give the ever the fuck I want all year round. It don't have to be Christmas. That's why for me again, like I said, holidays don't really mean anything. It's just little things that count, like the family, yeah. Just spending time, that food on that table. Yeah.

ANTHONY 7:18

Speaking of food, that's the only thing that gets me excited for Thanksgiving.

Gratitude Shoutouts To Listeners

NALEE 7:22

That's how you know you own and you fat through and through. It's because you're ready for that. That fucking Thanksgiving. Think I said that word. No fucking Thanksgiving food. May the Lord bless us with this blessed food that's gonna feel my blessed time. Amen. Anyways, talking about checking in. Now, this is our Thanksgiving episode. Just wanted to kick off this episode like a Thanksgiving catch up, swapping stories, sharing gratitude, and grounding in humor and honesty before our other segments here. Anthony, I got a question for ya.

ANTHONY 8:02

Okay. Before you ask me that.

NALEE 8:04

Okay.

ANTHONY 8:04

I just want to give a shout out to all of our listeners. I want to personally say happy Thanksgiving to all of you out there listening. Whether or not you celebrate Thanksgiving, I just want you to take some time today to reflect on the past 11 months. Reflect on anything in your life that you can be grateful for and just show that gratitude and be thankful.

NALEE 8:34

Yeah, I love that. And to amplify what Anthony says. Thank you guys so much for listening to us. Thank you for listening to us in your car while y'all while y'all fuck, you know, whatever the fuck y'all do.

ANTHONY 8:48

Oh my gosh, that would be a good episode. The fucking episode where people can just play us in the background and we'll we could cheer them on.

NALEE 8:56

Yes. Go, girl. Go go, go, go. New angle. Tap tap tap. But yeah, just thank you guys for listening to the 18 listeners out there that are listening to us and the four followers on our Instagram. Those aren't real numbers. I'm just kidding. But yeah, thank you guys. Well, the followers on Spotify, yeah, there's only 18.

ANTHONY 9:19

So on Spotify.

NALEE 9:21

Yeah. Thank you to those 18 listeners on Spotify. We thank you.

ANTHONY 9:25

And thank you to the 1376 listeners that we have on Apple iTunes. Or Apple iPod. I iPodcast. Whatever.

NALEE 9:35

I don't know.

ANTHONY 9:36

Apple Podcasts.

NALEE 9:37

Yeah, Apple Podcasts.

ANTHONY 9:38

That's what it is.

NALEE 9:39

But yeah, thank you guys so much for listening to us banter, talk about nonsense, us just talking shit. Our cursing, our like homess. You know, this is a home unity. We welcome you. We thank you. And it's been a long six fucking months, but it has. We thank you for coming along on our journey, and I wish you guys a very happy and thankful Thanksgiving.

ANTHONY 10:11

Amen.

NALEE 10:12

Amen. Amen.

ANTHONY 10:15

In the name of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit.

NALEE 10:17

Holy Jesus. Jesus H. Christ, we pray in your name.

ANTHONY 10:22

Amen.

NALEE 10:22

Hallelujah.

ANTHONY 10:24

Bye.

NALEE 10:25

Alright. So back to my question while Anthony rudely interrupted me to thank all of you guys. Yeah.

ANTHONY 10:31

I am so sorry for showing gratitude for you 18 listeners on Spotify and 1,376 followers on Apple Podcasts.

Who We’re Thankful For This Year

NALEE 10:40

Yes. And hopefully the 1k plus downloads that we received. Yes. Yeah. It's it might be a small number to a lot of people, but to us, that that's huge. Like honestly, I thought two people was gonna listen to us, and that would have been good for me. Me and Anthony are the only two.

SPEAKER_03 11:52

We just listen to each other.

NALEE 11:55

I would have been thankful. Somebody's I'm famous to two people. That's good enough for me.

ANTHONY 12:02

So I plan to rule the world.

NALEE 12:05

Yeah, I guess.

ANTHONY 12:47

No, but um listen to this bitch coming off on me because I rudely interrupted her and she had a question to ask me, and now she's tangenting back off.

NALEE 12:56

I was getting to the question. Anyways, while he rudely interrupted me thrice on this episode. Who are you or who or what are you most thankful for this year, even if it didn't start that way?

ANTHONY 13:19

Well, I can't just narrow that down to a few, so I have or to one, so I have to give you a few. Okay. So first and foremost, I am thankful for my uncle beating his diagnosis.

NALEE 13:35

Yay.

ANTHONY 13:36

And things going well for him. He's been a trooper.

NALEE 13:40

He done been blessed with a Jesus hands touched him.

ANTHONY 13:44

I think my aunt is definitely there with him and you know, helping him through this on that metaphysical level. Yeah.

NALEE 14:01

Thank you. Well, duh, what's your thing?

ANTHONY 14:03

Obviously. I mean no, I'm thankful for you because you kind of pushed me to start this podcast. And I don't have any regrets any other than the fact I didn't realize how time consuming it would be.

NALEE 14:21

Well, you're welcome.

ANTHONY 14:23

We're working on that.

NALEE 14:24

But yes, it is definitely a work in progress. I think we're doing great.

ANTHONY 14:27

I think we're doing really good. Yeah. And I would love to hear from our listeners. As a form of gratitude, I would love if our listeners would reach out on our socials.

NALEE 14:40

I see what you did there.

ANTHONY 14:42

To tell what?

NALEE 14:43

A form of gratitude. A form of gratitude. I love it.

ANTHONY 14:47

I would love for our listeners to reach out on socials and tell us what they're grateful for this Thanksgiving. And I would like to encourage them to reach out and just give us feedback because I mean, you know, I listen to us in in playback and in editing, and you listen to us every day. So I mean, listeners don't really know how many times we listen to our episodes before we actually publish them. But I feel, you know, and all the all the playbacks that I've listened to, we've we've come a long way in the five.

NALEE 15:27

Sorry.

ANTHONY 15:28

I'll forgive you.

NALEE 15:29

Just reminiscing from episode one.

ANTHONY 15:32

Yeah. But how far we've come. I'm I'm grateful for how far we've come and everything that I've learned in this podcasting journey. I'm grateful for Richard and you know, all the support that I get from him and our our relationship, our friendship.

NALEE 15:54

Yeah, love you, Richard.

ANTHONY 15:56

And I'm grateful for my friends out in Texas who I'm low-key consistently jealous of because it seems like they're on a cruise every two months. These are the two that I told you we had two new hoes that were listening to us.

NALEE 16:14

They need to teach us how they do that. Like, what do they do for a living? Are they swingers? They do porn, don't we?

ANTHONY 16:21

They do porn.

NALEE 16:21

I knew it.

ANTHONY 16:22

Yep.

NALEE 16:23

Well, time for us to start on that bandwagon.

ANTHONY 16:26

No, we just have that's all we have to do is we have to just jump on that OnlyFans.

NALEE 16:29

Yeah. We ain't got that much. We got that much energy.

ANTHONY 16:35

All I need is two viewers, two followers, two subscribers.

NALEE 16:39

Yes.

ANTHONY 16:42

Yeah, so those are the main things that I am grateful for. I oh, and the la and lastly, no, two more things.

NALEE 16:49

Okay. You sure?

ANTHONY 16:50

I yeah, I think so. I'm also grateful for my health because I know that I'm not like the healthiest, healthiest type person.

NALEE 16:59

The healthiest person.

ANTHONY 17:01

I know that I'm not the healthiest guy. I know I'm not the healthiest person.

NALEE 17:08

Healthiest.

ANTHONY 17:09

But my health is good. Yeah, I know. You know what I mean? Like I'm very I don't know I'm proud of it. I don't go to the gym, not like hardcore. But like bitch, first of all. I get enough movement in and I get my exercise. I'm I'm I'm I'm just very grateful for my health. Cause you know, even like our job at the further, yeah, I'd read some of those like notes, and it's like this person is 10 years younger than me, and they can't even like walk. Yeah. Or like I'm just I'm very grateful for my health. And lastly, and probably most importantly, I'm grateful to our 18 Spotify listeners.

NALEE 17:53

Yeah, y'all keep us going.

ANTHONY 17:56

Yeah.

NALEE 17:57

I love that.

ANTHONY 17:58

Yeah, that's it. Sorry to talk your ear off. This is just our check-in, too.

NALEE 18:02

But no, that's fine. This is this is Thanksgiving. This is our episode to be thankful. So we're gonna take every sweet minute time to thank everybody.

ANTHONY 18:12

Yeah, and I probably we probably should have prefaced that this episode is probably gonna be a little bit more serious.

NALEE 18:18

Yeah. I mean, I feel like a lot of our episodes have been really serious, except for the Halloween ones. But yeah, we've been talking a lot about mental health and stuff like that. But yeah, it's definitely one of the episodes where hopefully it's not gonna be so much about us, but about other people that we're thankful for, which in turn is about us.

ANTHONY 18:39

But I mean, technically, I could just say everything about you so that it's off of me.

NALEE 18:44

I guess that's true. And then you could yeah, I'll talk about you too. Talk about you, thank you.

ANTHONY 18:49

Yeah, so yeah, same question to you.

NALEE 18:51

Oh, okay. Well, I have I'm very blessed to have a lot of people to be thankful for. First of all, so that's a blessing in itself. I'm thankful for that. First of all, I would like to be thankful.

ANTHONY 19:06

You would like to be thankful? Yeah, I'd like to be thankful too.

NALEE 19:10

I would like to thank B because he be putting me through trials and shit. But I think I'm thankful for him for making me realize that I had a lot to grow, like mentally and personally. I'm not necessarily saying that he's a bad person or anything. Well, but I'm just kidding.

ANTHONY 19:44

There's a story there.

NALEE 19:45

No, but I'm just thankful for his patience, and even though we still have fights and shit, I'm glad that he's still there putting up with my shit. Yeah, I know I'm a lot to deal with, so again, I'm blessed to just have people in my circle in general. I'd like to thank my mom and my dad, obviously, for having such a great person like me. Because, you know, again, it comes, I think now that they're getting older, I think I'm just thankful that they're still here and I could still spend time with him.

ANTHONY 20:24

Yeah.

NALEE 20:25

I know a lot of people don't have that opportunity, but you know, I'm just thankful to have my parents. They raised, they raised such an amazing person.

ANTHONY 20:34

So is this just like an ode to yourself? Yeah, yeah.

NALEE 20:41

Yeah. I'm just kidding.

ANTHONY 20:43

I'd like to thank my sisters for having such an amazing sister.

NALEE 20:48

I can't help that I'm popular.

ANTHONY 20:50

Yeah, I bet you are.

NALEE 20:55

I hate you. No, all jokes aside, okay, I'll stop joking, stop being a so much for being a serious. It's a COVID mechanism. Anyways, well, okay, back to what I was saying. I'd like to thank B for obviously being patient with me, being able to deal with me. He's been putting me through trials and tribulations, but inside of that, or in spite of that, you know, I think I've been able to kind of grow personally and emotionally and mentally. So I don't know if I'm thankful for him giving me all this character development, but I'm glad that I've engaged a lot of knowledge within that. I'd like to thank my mom and my dad. Without them, obviously, there wouldn't be me. I'd like to thank my siblings, my brothers, and especially my sisters. They've been like, especially the past couple of years, they've been such a foundation for taking care of my dad. And, you know, if anybody knows me, and as I've spoken pre plenty of times on the this podcast, is that, you know, my dad, he's going through his own health journey. And without them, like, honest to God, I don't know how we would be dealing with his health, you know. And my mom as well, you know, for being patient with my dad. And obviously, I'd like to thank you.

ANTHONY 22:24

Time long enough. Shit, Gina.

NALEE 22:27

Yeah, I'd like to thank you because, you know, although I did push you, manipulated you into making this podcast with me.

ANTHONY 22:35

That's partially true.

NALEE 22:37

I think we have a really good thing going here. And I wouldn't want to share that with anybody but you.

SPEAKER_03 22:43

Yeah.

Boundaries, Friendship Drama, And Growth

NALEE 22:45

You've obviously I value you a lot because you make me, you make my head churn. And I think it's important to have people in your life that is constantly challenging you. It's constantly finding ways for you to grow. And without that, you just remain stagnant. You know what I mean? You don't like change for the better, or you don't think and stuff like that. So I'm not just thankful for that, but you know, I'm thankful for your friendship, the words that you say. Yeah. And well shit.

ANTHONY 23:19

You're just being so sweet. And mine was like, I thank you for pushing me.

NALEE 23:24

I have that effect on people. It's okay. Yeah. And I'm thankful for my little brother. I've said my brothers before, but for my little brother Gamong, you know, he is one of the two listeners of our podcast.

ANTHONY 23:39

On Spotify.

NALEE 23:41

Yeah, on Spotify. Yeah. And I think I know Anthony, like, he's like freaking out over there.

ANTHONY 23:53

I just I just need to Yeah.

NALEE 23:55

We have a story. We could say that we could tell that story in a little bit. But yeah, I'd like to thank my little brother for his constant support. Again, it comes to show that people younger than you, they can they constantly change and they surprise you too. It just it's just not the older people, you know what I mean? And I'd like to thank my other group of friends, you know, from Khalia, Chili, Andy, Bohr, Stephanie, you know, Kiki, and Pa. You guys, you know, you guys are all my friends in its own. I know it's like throughout like my journey this year, like each one of you guys has has helped me kind of grow, and you guys have been there for me in different ways. Maybe not currently, but you know, in the past years, you know. But yeah, I'm grateful for that group of friends. You guys have definitely helped mold me to who I am today, too. And Melissa, she's also been a really big stepping stone in my life. I know right now we're kind of chilled, things have chilled down because we no longer work at the furthest. So everybody's just kind of doing their own thing. But I am very thankful for everybody that I encounter. You know, I learned different things. And as much as I talk, I also listen to. But yeah. A bullshit. A bullshit. A bullshit. A bullshit. But yeah, a lot of the stuff that I've learned, I've taken a little bit from each one of you guys. And I can't just take all the credit for it. Obviously, I have to put credits where it's due. And, you know, each of you guys have, I have a little bit of each of you guys. So, you know, I'm really thankful that I have that too. I have you guys to bounce back on. And the last two things I would just like to mention is obviously our listeners. Again, to those 18 listeners, or you know, whoever listens, new, old, continued listeners, thank you for listening to our podcast. You guys, it sounds really stupid, but you guys are really the only one of the only reasons why we still continue to record, even if it's just nonsense.

SPEAKER_03 26:22

Truth.

NALEE 26:22

We really are here to entertain, but you know, just knowing that other people besides me and Anthony are entertained by us, is it speaks volume. And then the the last thing that I wanted to be thankful for is myself, Mike Roth. Anthony, I can't. I wasn't even done yet, you ho. You he shrugged so big, like, what the fuck? No, uh, what I meant to say was myself as far as putting, you know, actually doing therapy, putting in work for myself. I think a lot of people don't give themselves grace or credit for themselves on yeah, on what they do for themselves. It's so easy to think or give credit to other people, but yeah, of course, I'd like to give credit to myself as well. I think this year has probably been one of the toughest years in my life as far as emotional and mental growth. But at the same time, I don't think I would have changed anything. So I am ready to put 2025 to fucking bed, but I'm also thankful for everything that's happened. So, yeah, that was my long answer to that one question.

ANTHONY 27:53

Okay, watching the MTV music video awards.

NALEE 27:58

I'd like to thank the Academy. I'd like to thank my mom and my dadza. I'd like to thank my friend, my friend.

ANTHONY 28:06

I want to thank my cat, my next door neighbor's goat.

NALEE 28:10

And my best friend's dog's mouse's friend.

ANTHONY 28:14

But in all seriousness, I do want to add two more things.

NALEE 28:20

This bitch.

ANTHONY 28:20

Shame on me. I left out Melissa. I I too am very thankful for Melissa and our friendship. And I've learned a lot from her.

NALEE 28:30

Yeah. How to be a hoe.

ANTHONY 28:32

How to be a hoe. And how to down a bottle of wine in under two seconds. Yeah.

NALEE 28:38

And then be like, wow, five seconds later.

ANTHONY 28:42

No, but I really am grateful for her. And yeah, me too. I feel like you're the one saying all the nice things, and I'm just being like straight into the point. I'm grateful for you, Melissa.

NALEE 28:52

It's okay.

ANTHONY 28:53

And then lastly, this, I mean, this kind of this definitely does apply to Melissa and all the other people, but I can't that I'm not gonna sit here and show gratitude for like and name all of them off. But in general, I am just overall grateful and thankful for everybody who's ever whose paths have crossed with mine. Whether they're still walking alongside me, or we just had a blip moment where our paths crossed. There are still people till this day that like from 15 years ago that I met for five minutes that I still think about because they said one thing to me, or showed me how to do something, or taught me something. And so I am grateful for all of those people and all of those lessons and all of those things that I've learned over the course of my life. And obviously, I can't just sit here and name off all those all of those people. Like I'm still grateful for that guy I told you about when our car broke down in Sparta and he drove us to a hotel. I still think about that, and so I'm grateful and thankful for all of those people in my life.

NALEE 30:04

Yeah. By the way, Anthony's gonna bleep all the names that I said just because I also feel the same way. I think I've out I've probably left out a lot of people that I should name call, but now that I think of it, I feel like he pro you probably should bleep it.

ANTHONY 30:23

But I think it's gonna be hard to bleep all those names, honey boo-boo.

NALEE 30:27

Is that I might have to resay mine then. Or you could just delete that part.

ANTHONY 30:34

Or you can just add on right now, uh thankful and encompass everybody in your life.

NALEE 30:40

Oh, okay. Well, I'm gonna add on and just be thankful for everybody in my life. But yeah. And if yeah, if I didn't mention your name, it doesn't mean that I forgot about you or that you're not important or you're not worth mentioning. Obviously, if you have me in your life, y'all already know you blessed with me. But but yeah, I'm thankful for everybody that's in my life. I learned everything, I learn a little bit from everyone. So even like my extended family, like my in-laws, like I learned from them all too, you know? And obviously, shout out to my sister-in-law Anna. I know she supports our podcast a lot too. She's yes, she's shout out. Yeah, she's definitely a consistent listener too. But yeah, shout out to shout out to everyone who's who is hearing our voices right now, whether you just started listening to us today or you've listened to us from the first day when our audio was crazy, or even through freaking August. Like, just I'm thankful that you guys are just here.

ANTHONY 31:57

Listen, if you're still here after our gummy episode, oh you a whole for life.

NALEE 32:04

Yeah, no, yeah, that you guys, first of all, we are so sorry.

ANTHONY 32:11

Like, uh-uh, I ain't apologizing for shit. I said what I said.

NALEE 32:15

I'm not apologizing for anything, I'm just apologizing for the fact that I did not seem like myself because you guys already you guys probably felt it from the get-go that okay, this bitch is on something because she's fucking slow as hell. Like, I was on, obviously, I was on something, but yeah, you was high on life, boo. I was high on life, but yeah, it was yeah, but if you guys like those episodes, let us know. Like, I don't know, we could do it once every three months or something. Yeah, but yeah, it was you are right. If you guys are still here after that episode, damn. More power to you. Like, yeah, that's crazy. But yeah. Okay.

ANTHONY 33:04

Okay. Well, there's there's my answer.

NALEE 33:08

Yeah.

ANTHONY 33:09

There's your answer.

NALEE 33:10

I just want to add in one last thing. I know I'm always the bitch that has to have the last say and everything.

ANTHONY 33:18

Last word, no.

NALEE 33:20

Yeah. Okay, but this is the last thing I want to say. I don't know, trigger warning, not trigger warning, but I just wanted to say thank you. Not anybody in general, but just you, whoever is listening, whoever has us in your ear. Thank you for waking up today. Thank you for being who you are, and thank you for continuing to decide to wake up and continuing keeping it on. Keep on keeping it on.

ANTHONY 33:51

Keep on, keeping on. But all right, all right, all right.

NALEE 33:55

Alright, alright, alright.

ANTHONY 33:56

That's what's up.

NALEE 33:57

That's what's up. Period. But yeah, what's your question?

ANTHONY 34:02

So my question was what is one thing from this year that surprised you, good or bad, but ended up being a blessing.

NALEE 34:15

Okay, this is gonna be a spicy take. And the people in this story, I'm not gonna, I'm not gonna name names because I do have a story, but you know who you are. I'm not gonna like put you on blast. Yeah, I'm not gonna put you on blast or anything, but I think this year I learned a lot about keeping healthy boundaries and friendship. I'm sure I've said that time and time again. But the reason why I kept saying that was actually because of this specific scenario. Yes, I've never shared it, but I'm gonna share it now. And to me, maybe other people might see it like in a bad light, like the people who were involved, and maybe not. I don't care. It is what it is. I'm saying what I'm saying. Say it with your chest. Yeah, I'm saying it how Nali sees it. Moral of the story was I went out with a group of friends, and these girls I haven't hung out before, or haven't hung out with before, and they had I had met one of my friends' brother there, and one of these girls really liked it him, and well, not really like it, liked it him, but they kind of hit it off. And so later on, a bunch of stuff happened, and then come to find out this particular girl, she was upset with me. I guess she didn't like say it to my face, but she kept saying it to other people within that friend group, and so it came back to me. I've given the girl a a chance to like explain herself as to like why and stuff like that, but she just kept like passively like saying, Oh, nothing's wrong. But clearly there was something wrong because she was still talking about it, you know. And so then to me, like this is child play, like child's play. Like, I don't I don't fuck with that. Like, if I'm asking you to tell me face to face, I'm giving you an opportunity to be like to put me on check again. Like, I'm not I'm not like gonna beat you up or whatever, I'm not gonna like hate you for it. I'm not, but I'm giving you a self a chance for you to explain yourself and a chance to put me in check again, you know what I mean? Because maybe I wasn't in the right too, and I could have been in the wrong, but that just kept on going, and so then I decided to kind of distance myself from this cooperation, and I mean, obviously, I still hang out with the girls like individually and stuff like that, but like nothing too crazy. But obviously, I I I think I gave myself a lot of shit for that because I'm I don't normally do that, like I don't normally like cut myself off because you know I have I have FOMO, I have fear of missing out, and I have this like need to please people, so it was really, really hard for me to be like, no, I'm not gonna go out or say no. But in turn, I think it made me realize that I don't know, you tell me, am I in the wrong? But you know, I've learned that you know, creating boundaries is definitely something that you have to have with everybody, and you need to know, you know, who has your back, who doesn't, trusting people. And this is the thing of like people are guilty until proven innocent in my books because when things like this happen, it makes you have trust issues, like, oh, like I can't really trust people, you know, like you give them the benefit of the doubt. And the thing too is again, I'm trying not to go in detail, but I don't know, it's a lot of the he said she said stuff, but there was a point in time where somebody somewhere somehow had said that okay, I was trying to like get at my friend's brother and cock blocking her, but I'm like, girl, I'm happily married, I ain't about that life. Like, I'm here trying to help you, you know what I mean? Yeah, but somehow it became like a big fucking mess, and it didn't need to get blown out of proportion, but it did. And again, maybe it's maturity, maybe you know, these group of girls, they are much younger than me. So I I am the oldest one of the group, and maybe it's just because I can't I don't tolerate a lot of stuff, and maybe that's why I was just like, I'm I'm not, it's it's not for me, you know what I mean? And you know, they are probably great girls on their own, but it's just to me, I'm like, yeah, like it's a no for me, and I don't I don't mess around with kids, like we don't do that here, you know what I mean? So it definitely was a blessing in disguise, I feel like, yeah, it was a messy situation, and at the end, I'm just like, yeah, I need to stay the fuck home.

ANTHONY 39:14

So she thought you were trying to get at her brother?

NALEE 39:17

So, no, not really. So, what happened was see, I don't want to get into it because if I don't explain it, then it doesn't make sense. You know what I mean? But I don't want to say too much because I feel like if people know it, then they know what I'm talking about. But I guess regardless, I'm gonna talk about it. So it doesn't really matter. We had gone out. See, now I'm gonna have to tell a story.

ANTHONY 39:39

Damn it.

Career Wins And Self-Grace

NALEE 39:40

We had gone out. I was hanging out with these girls, and when we're at the bar, or we are at the bar, a one of my other friends, so let's call her girl A. My friend, girl A, her brother had come into the bar too. And so then these other girls that I was hanging out with, they didn't know who he was. So I'm like, oh yeah, this is A's brother, and they were like, Oh, he's cool. And then one of the girls that I was hanging out with hit it off with him, and so then, like I said, some stuff happened as far not like anything crazy, because the thing was we were out celebrating like something in relation to her family, the one that was that was hitting it off with A's brother, and so then we have this thing where it's a girl code, like you leave with who you come with, right? Like, no girls get left behind, and we all whoever you come with, you leave with, and so then at this point, you know, she was like, No, like I'm gonna go with him, blah, blah, blah. And I'm like, Oh, yeah, that's fine. You could go with him, but mind you, this is the first time you've met him, and like we all came together, so we probably should stick together. But I was like, Okay, I trust him because obviously he's A's sister, and is one of my very best friends, and so then I'm like, okay, you we are going to the same place, it's fine. You guys aren't gonna like magically, I don't know, float off to somewhere. So then we decided to meet at a different a different point or a different area, and so then we had met there, and then when we went there, I guess something happened, and so then the friend that we had gone with was very, really sad about what happened, and so then at this point, it was it was messy, people were like going back and forth because they were drunk, and I was the only sober one, and so then I was chasing them. I had like five burritos in my hand, and that's a lie, but yeah, exactly. But and so then, and then I was trying to deal with my friend who was crying about over A's brother, and so then I'm just like, girl, you just met him today, it ain't that serious, like it's fine, you know? And so then I understand she was going through a whole bunch of stuff on her own too, but I'm just like, I can't do this, like I'm too old to be babysitting people, and I'm too old to be babysitting drunk people running around. So then I'm like, nah, I'm calling it a night. So then we ended up leaving, and so then I guess in the middle of that incident, there was a part in time where him, he had came out and was like, hey, I want to talk to your friend. And then my friend at that time was like crying and stuff, and so I'm like, No, you need to go figure your shit out first, because clearly something's not something's up, and so then I had told the other girl, like, it's not that serious. He you just met him tonight, so you don't need to be crying about him. Like Girl, like is is a lot right now. And so then the next, I guess the next couple of days or whatever, they had talked amongst themselves, like their own friend group or whatever. Because these girls, like I did hang out with them, but they were there were two that were much closer. And I guess they were talking and stuff. And so then somehow through the grapevine, I found out that I don't know if it's true or not. Maybe it's not. I don't give a fuck. It's child child's play. But then there was rumors of like her saying that, oh, I was trying to cock block her from the brother, and that I don't know. I guess she was upset at me. But then I was like, okay, well, I'm gonna give you a chance to explain yourself because I don't understand why you're mad at me. You know what I mean? Like, I don't think I did anything wrong. I was just trying to protect you. I was just trying to make you see that this guy you just met today, like, it ain't that serious. You know what I mean?

ANTHONY 43:31

She was crying over a guy that she just met that day.

NALEE 43:34

Yes. And again, there might she might have had other stuff going on and maybe it like build tension. And I'm not gonna like, I'm not going to like downplay that. I get it. Like when you are in mixing your emotions and you're drunk and all that stuff, like it comes out. You know what I mean? But at the same time, I'm just like, well, you shouldn't blame me for it. Like, I'm here trying to make sure you bitches get home safe. You know what I mean?

ANTHONY 44:01

Bye. But I'm already over her.

NALEE 44:04

But, anyways, yeah, so it became this long thing, like and lasted for months. Like, I would ask her, like, hey, like, are you upset at me? And then to my face, she would be like, No, I'm not. Like, there's nothing wrong. And then I'd hear again that, oh, she was saying that she's upset at you. I'm like, Are you fucking serious? Like, this is so kiddish. And so then when opportunity presented itself, I was just like, hey, like, you know, I've been hearing this, like, yeah. And so I just told her, I'm just like, you know, I'm not, I'm not a very confrontational person either. But the thing is, is if it's involving me, I want to know what's up. You know what I mean? And so then I just told her, I'm like, yeah, like I'm giving you an opportunity to tell me your side of the story. If I fucked up, let me know. I will apologize, I'll take accountability and I'll take responsibility. That's what grown-ups do. And so then she didn't say anything. She said it was fine. And so months after, I was still hearing the same shit. And I'm just like, you know what? Enough's enough. Like, I'm done. Like, you know, it's a no for me. And so then, all in all, you know, to me, it really fucked with my own more morals because again, I have this need to please people, you know, and so if I'm not on their good side, I get all like beat up for it. You know what I mean? And obviously, it has things to do with my childhood trauma, it's not on that person, but at the same time, it's kind of like it was really tough for me to like deal with that, you know what I mean? And so then, and it sounds very trivial, I'm sure, that oh my god, they don't like you, big big whoop, but at the same time, like, you know, it's uh it was a big deal for me.

ANTHONY 45:44

Everybody wants to be liked, yeah.

NALEE 45:46

And so then I was just like, you know what? It's okay that not everybody likes me, and that's when I realized that I'm not everybody's cup of tea. Like, and everybody's not my cup of tea, you know, and that's okay. It does not mean that just because we are on different wavelengths doesn't mean that I hate you or I don't like you. And this is me being honest. It's it's not, it has nothing to do with you, it's everything to do with me. Like, if I choose not to hang out with you, it's because of me. If I choose to say no to hanging out with you, it's because of me. I'm not saying it's because of you. There's nothing wrong with you. You're great, you're fine. I'm just saying it's not my personal preference, personal preference to hang out with people like that because it's just not for me. It's too much drama.

ANTHONY 46:36

It's not always about you.

NALEE 46:38

Yeah.

ANTHONY 46:38

Like that's it.

NALEE 46:39

Period.

ANTHONY 46:40

I think, yeah, we need to remind ourselves of that.

NALEE 46:42

Like, yeah.

ANTHONY 46:43

But don't take everything so personal.

NALEE 46:45

Exactly. It's not that serious. Like, that's it. But yeah, that's pretty much what happened. It's to me, yes, it was a lot, but I've never had that scenario either. Like, I've never dealt with that before. So it was really hard on me, but in turn, it just kind of showed me that, oh, like there is like you do need to like keep boundaries. You need to be like, you need to be careful. Like, you know, people don't always have your best interest in mind, too.

ANTHONY 48:09

Period.

NALEE 48:10

Yeah. And that's just kind of what I got out of that scenario. But and again, it sounds really stupid and trivial, but chow. I was losing sleep over this. But yeah. Thoughts, questions, concerns, comments.

ANTHONY 48:27

It's a no for me.

NALEE 48:29

I'm just like, no, that girl's problem.

ANTHONY 48:31

Okay, the fact that you're crying over somebody, and it doesn't even matter if you have some, if you have other things that are going on if you're in your life, yeah, to the point that cause you to get to the point to break down to cry, that's fine. But when you get to that point and you break down and you cry, and what your word vomiting is, and I don't know what she said exactly, but if you're word vomiting, I loved him, I wanted to be with him.

NALEE 49:01

Where is he? Why is it it wasn't that in it wasn't that intense. But it was but no, no, but it was it was she just really liked him, and I guess the thing that happened was okay. Well, that's my short story into a long story.

SPEAKER_03 50:02

That's how Nolly sees it.

NALEE 50:03

Yeah, that's how Nolly sees it. But what about you? What's something from this year that surprised you, good or bad, but ended up a blessing?

ANTHONY 50:14

I think I'm gonna throw you under the bus here.

NALEE 50:17

Do it.

ANTHONY 50:17

And I'm gonna say you.

NALEE 50:20

Is am I good or a bad thing?

ANTHONY 50:23

Good.

NALEE 50:23

Oh, okay.

ANTHONY 50:24

You surprised me a lot this year with like the amount of growth you've had over the last year. Not that I didn't think that you were capable of it.

SPEAKER_00 50:35

Wow.

ANTHONY 50:38

That's a compliment.

SPEAKER_00 50:39

Yeah, thank you.

ANTHONY 50:41

I see you have questions, comments, and concerns.

NALEE 50:44

No, I don't, I don't know. Please follow up.

ANTHONY 50:46

No, I know.

NALEE 50:47

You didn't answer your question. You didn't even answer it yet. I'll follow it up. Go on.

ANTHONY 50:52

You like just how much you've grown in the last year, it's surprised me how much you've grown because of how long I've known you and how much you've grown over the full time that I've known you in comparison to how much you have grown in the last 12 months. Like, it was the last 12 months have been an exponentially larger growth rate, and it just it surprised me.

NALEE 51:25

Thank you. But I do have a counter to that though.

SPEAKER_00 51:32

Yes, bitch.

NALEE 51:33

I've always been like this, but you know why you don't notice that? It's because we haven't spent this kind of amount of time together, and I think you just don't see we don't have these kind of conversations, so it might have been difficult for you to see who I really am.

ANTHONY 51:51

I'm gonna disagree with it.

NALEE 51:53

Because even when we worked at the further, we didn't really talk like this.

ANTHONY 51:57

Yeah, we did. We just didn't, we I don't think so. We did, we just didn't sit down for like three hours and talk.

NALEE 52:04

Three? You mean five?

ANTHONY 52:06

Five, yeah, eight, eight, thirty.

NALEE 52:09

Yeah.

ANTHONY 52:10

But like even professionally speaking, like you've just you've grown all around.

NALEE 52:20

Thank you.

ANTHONY 52:21

And I'm surprised. It's not a bad thing, it's a good thing, it's a compliment, and I'm just I'm very proud of you.

NALEE 52:30

Thank you. At least somebody sees it.

ANTHONY 52:33

I see it. Thank you. And the people that don't see it are just stupid.

NALEE 52:36

Thank you. That means a lot to me. I think yeah, that means a lot to me. I'd like to first off to say that I thought I was grown, but obviously.

ANTHONY 52:49

There's always more room for growth.

NALEE 52:50

Yes, there's always more room for growth. For sure, I do agree with you on the career aspect. I think I'm kind of shocked with myself a little bit too.

ANTHONY 53:00

But it's not even just career, it's even like in your personal life because you've like you've set boundaries. You've like, and I feel like some people might take this a bad way, but like you've taken a step back as far as like being silent in those conversations or those situations that you you know you don't need to be a part of. Yeah, right.

NALEE 53:27

Yeah, for sure. No, I appreciate that. I appreciate that. That's exactly what I've been trying to do for myself. Yeah, it's the little, it's like the small wins kind of thing. Like, I've obviously take a big step from social media. Also, like I try not to talk when it's not needed, excluding from this podcast. Yeah, yeah.

ANTHONY 53:49

So I feel like that's growth because it is a hundred percent.

NALEE 53:53

Thank you. I really do appreciate that. That means a lot to me.

ANTHONY 53:57

Good, it should.

NALEE 53:59

Thank you. I appreciate that.

ANTHONY 54:01

You're welcome.

NALEE 54:02

Been working on myself.

ANTHONY 54:03

You have been, and it shows.

NALEE 54:05

Thank you. Thank you, thank you very much. All right, now that we've shared our 2025 chaos, let's talk about something deeper. How gratitude can still show up when the year hasn't exactly been easy.

ANTHONY 54:23

Because sometimes grace looks like showing up anyway. Messy hair, microwaved stuffing, and all. Our first segment, Grace in Hard Seasons. We're gonna discuss the unfiltered side of gratitude, finding grace in chaos, exhaustion, and growth. How to stay thankful when the year felt heavy. Okay, well, Nolly was there anything that you wanted to discuss for our first segment?

NALEE 54:54

Yeah, I wanted to talk about the emotional buffet or buffet.

ANTHONY 55:00

The buffet.

NALEE 55:02

The buffet making room for every feeling at the table. For this in particular, I do just want to kind of touch bases on that, you know, it's okay to feel again, all the feelings, like shame, sad, sorrow, happiness, sadness. I said sadness already, but we could enjoy more of that, you know. But it's okay to feel how you feel. You are entitled to your emotions and your opinions. I think the main thing is how you respond to it, how you respond to that feeling.

ANTHONY 55:43

Okay.

NALEE 55:44

Yeah. Go on. I'm just comes back into relation to my my first story that I told you guys in the opening about the friendship. That, you know, yeah, I felt sad. I felt, you know, obviously it's it's different, something that I don't deal with, but you know, at the end, it still felt good to know that okay, I'm creating healthy boundaries for myself. And you have to give yourself grace too, you know, feeling thankful for what you have and again making room for every feeling at the table.

ANTHONY 56:19

Yeah, and I think that, and I'm very guilty of this, but I think that we need to acknowledge and come to the realization that just because it's Thanksgiving, or just because it's the holiday season, that we need to somehow like sweep our feelings under the rug or put them in the back of the closet to like survive the holidays.

SPEAKER_00 56:43

Yeah.

ANTHONY 56:44

Like we can sit there at Thanksgiving at the Thanksgiving Day table with our family, and we can still steal. We can still feel sad or grief or be in mourning for somebody who isn't at the table this year with us.

NALEE 57:05

Yeah. Yeah, you can feel grateful, tired, and annoyed all at once. And that's completely okay.

ANTHONY 57:13

Give yourself permission to feel the feels.

NALEE 57:15

Yeah. And I think I think in particular, like men, I'm not picking on race or anything, or at race, race, sexes, or anything, but I think men have a lot of like they have a lot of problems with dealing with their emotions or sharing their emotions or processing their emotions in general. It's okay to feel you know confused, it's okay to feel like a failure, it's okay to feel shame. At the end of the day, we're all humans and nobody is perfect.

ANTHONY 57:49

Amen.

Grace In Hard Seasons

NALEE 57:51

So you just have to constantly remind yourself that hey, like the first thing that we said a long time ago, we're just humans trying to live. And it's okay if it's not perfect, it's not meant to be perfect. If you're perfect, then you're a fucking robot. Are you a robot? I don't think so. So yeah, I just had a full-on conversation with myself.

ANTHONY 58:16

Yeah, I mean, I I I there was a point where I was like, what yeah is she saying?

SPEAKER_00 58:23

I don't know what I say half of the time. What about you?

ANTHONY 58:28

Well, you mean for this segment or that I want to bring up or for yours?

NALEE 58:32

For mine. What were what are your thoughts on it?

ANTHONY 58:36

Well, I again I agree. I think that we all have the right to feel the feels and feel the emotions regardless of what time of year it is, whether it's a holiday, whether it is the middle of summer, and you're at the beach, like it doesn't really matter. You get I think we need to feel the feels. And then I think that there's this there's uh on the kind of on the flip side, I feel like there's this stigma that like especially around Thanksgiving, like your gratitude and your thanks has to be so performative, yeah. And you have to be, I'm so thankful for all this food on the table and everybody around the table, and that's great to be thankful for those things, but it doesn't need to be a big theatrical thing, and I've been trying to work on this, and I again I'm nowhere near where I should be, but like there's we all have so many things in life to be grateful for and to show gratitude for, other than the meal on this table, or everybody being around the table, or again doing that whole performative gratitude at Thanksgiving. Be thankful you woke up, yeah. Be thankful it's not raining, be thankful it's not snowing, be thankful it's like just the stupidest things. Like I could be thankful that I got a Thanksgiving Day card. Yeah, I can be thankful that I didn't stub my toe getting out of bed this morning.

NALEE 1:00:22

Yeah. But I'm thankful that 2025 is almost over.

ANTHONY 1:00:27

I am thankful that 2025 is almost over for sure. Listeners out there, just curious to show to know, show up on our socials. I'm interested to know who else went into 2025 hoping for a good year and just being and then being met with consistent trials and tribulations and hurdles and obstacles.

NALEE 1:00:51

You come out defeated in 2025.

ANTHONY 1:00:53

Yeah.

NALEE 1:00:54

But glad it's almost over. That I'm thankful for. Amen. See.

ANTHONY 1:01:00

We can be thankful for so many things, and I think it's so easy for us to for me, I'm personally speaking for myself. I have struggled with trying to show gratitude and to be grateful for things in my life only because I do, I I've always had this notion that for some reason you have to be grateful for something that is big or something that is so cliche and generic that I'm again now trying to focus on realizing that there are so many things that we can be grateful for and thankful for that are small.

NALEE 1:01:39

Yeah, I love that. I love how you said that.

ANTHONY 1:01:43

Am I making sense?

NALEE 1:01:44

Yeah, you you definitely are. I just want to add on one thing to that. I think it's so easy for us to, we've said this again before. It's so easy for us to be negative, but it's so hard for us to stay positive. And yes, I think even if you find gratefulness in the smallest things, like that's a blessing in itself. If you could find the gratefulness to just wake up and just to show up, that's enough. Like, that's more than enough. You like you said, you don't have to, it does not have to be that you need to be thankful for a grand gesture. No, like if that's the case, whoever you're putting on the performance for is a fake ass bitch. Like, they don't we don't need you to be whoever, however you think you should be. Being exactly who you are is enough. That's it. It meant that so I don't know who the fuck told you that you need to be more, but not here. You could be dirt poor and we be fine.

ANTHONY 1:02:51

You just show up, you be you.

NALEE 1:02:53

Yeah. Just don't lie. That's it.

ANTHONY 1:02:56

That's where we draw the line.

NALEE 1:02:58

Don't be a liar. Okay. Yeah. But what did you want to bring up? What is your tall pack?

ANTHONY 1:03:05

Well, going back to the fact that we're both grateful that this year is almost over, I want to discuss what I call the Grace Hangover. Okay. What surviving the year actually cost us. So, just to start, I got a question here for you. Okay. What's something this year that you've pushed through that you can now finally look back and be like, damn. I did that. I did that. I didn't have anybody help me. I I did that.

NALEE 1:03:40

For sure, for me this year is definitely my career growth.

ANTHONY 1:03:45

Like You've put in the work.

NALEE 1:03:47

Yeah, it's been crazy. It's been less than a year, but yeah, I think just just showing up for myself and trying to prove my worth career wise, I think that's something I need to like. Thank myself for.

ANTHONY 1:04:07

Yeah.

NALEE 1:04:09

But yeah, that's that's all I have to say. What about you?

ANTHONY 1:04:11

That's it. That was a short and sweet.

NALEE 1:04:13

Yeah, short and sweet answer.

ANTHONY 1:04:14

Short and sweet answer.

NALEE 1:04:15

What about you, Boo? I think the same thing, actually, because I know I was gonna say we just we just climbing up that corporate ladder doing it one step at a time.

ANTHONY 1:04:29

We've just like come so far in the last year.

SPEAKER_00 1:04:34

Yeah.

ANTHONY 1:04:35

And I think I look back and I think to myself, you know, that whole damn, I did that. Yeah. Because like I know we have this we officially have the same job title, but we do two completely different things. I still I still don't understand that or how that works. Yeah.

NALEE 1:04:57

We're different. It's I think to me, the way that I've come to just the way that I could come into terms with it is that we do this, we have the same title, but we do different things within that process. Because it's still arbitration. What I do is still arbitration, which is what we do. But it's just you're doing a different step, and I'm doing the last step. You know?

ANTHONY 1:05:22

Yeah.

NALEE 1:05:22

It still doesn't make sense, though.

ANTHONY 1:05:23

I don't think it doesn't make sense to me because that's like saying, like, you go to the grocery store, the bag boy, the cashier, and the manager all should have the same job title because they're they're all doing the same thing. They're all working in a grocery store. They're all like, so I just don't get that. But what I was going at was like, so I don't know how things were when you started in your role, but like for me, like I didn't feel like there was a lot of formal, thorough, well documented, like training or anything. Okay. So when I look back, it's like everything that got me to where I was. Yes, I got assistance from like my manager and my lead and my supervisor and all of that. But it was at the time looking back now, I do feel like there were things that were like, here's your shit. Yeah. And then I was left to like put the puzzle together, yeah. Figure out how the process worked, figure out a process that worked for me that still adhered to company policies and whatnot. Yeah. So I mean, I am gonna show gratitude for my lead, my supervisor, my manager for helping me along the way.

NALEE 1:07:23

Yeah.

ANTHONY 1:07:26

But damn, I did that.

NALEE 1:07:28

You put in the work.

Food Traditions And Cultural Remix

ANTHONY 1:07:29

I put in the work, I learned the process, I understood it, I took some things into my own hands.

NALEE 1:07:35

Period.

ANTHONY 1:07:37

And I got my lead.

NALEE 1:07:38

You was a boss ass bitch, is what you was. Yeah.

ANTHONY 1:07:41

Boss ass bitch. That's what that's it.

NALEE 1:07:45

I completely agree with you. That's kind of how I was too. Being that the company is so so new, I think that's probably why they don't have like proper training and stuff. But it definitely was kind of like, hey, this is the stuff you do with what you will with this information and make it work, you know.

ANTHONY 1:08:03

Yeah, that was exactly kind of how I felt it.

NALEE 1:08:05

Like, they did give us, you know, the prop, like the information. Like, I do want to thank my supervisor. Like, she she definitely helped me to see my potential. You know, she definitely was a stepping stone for my, you know, my promotion. But, you know, at the same time, I I will give her credit. I will give her a lot of credit, but at the same time, I also am like what you said, where like I put in the work, like it's the thing of my work speaks for itself. Like, I don't need anybody to explain for it because you see the effort I do, you see the effort that I put in. You know what I mean?

SPEAKER_03 1:08:43

Right.

NALEE 1:08:44

So it was earned rightfully so. But yeah, we earned it. That's all, that's it. We earned what we got.

SPEAKER_03 1:08:53

We did.

NALEE 1:08:54

Yeah, if you want something, you gotta fight for it. You gotta put in the work.

ANTHONY 1:08:58

Exactly.

NALEE 1:08:59

If you want something bad enough, you need to put in the work. You cannot be a lazy ass bitch.

ANTHONY 1:09:03

You better work, bitch.

NALEE 1:09:05

Period. Yeah. You want a Lamborghini? You gotta work, bitch.

ANTHONY 1:09:09

That's what I want a Lamborghini.

NALEE 1:09:11

Yes. But yeah, I agree with you a thousand percent. You did that, bitch. You worked, bitch. That's what you did, bitch. Yeah.

ANTHONY 1:10:00

Say bitch again.

NALEE 1:10:01

Bitch.

ANTHONY 1:10:02

Bitch.

NALEE 1:10:03

Bitch. Bitch. You gotta work, bitch. Gotta put in the work, bitch. But yeah. I'm proud of you. I will I uh am so proud of you. I'm proud of you too. Yeah, I'm so proud of the growth that you've done. I don't even need to be in your department to know that you are like you are doing a badass job.

ANTHONY 1:10:22

So well, I was now in my new role. I saw I gotta like work my way back.

NALEE 1:10:28

Yeah, that's that and that's normal. Again, we've only been in this position for a couple of weeks, like not even a month. Give and we've been doing a lot already. So give yourself some grace. Pat yourself on the back. Yes, we need Yeah, it's it's a work in progress, but you started at an amazing spot. So give yourself that for sure.

ANTHONY 1:10:50

You know what? What we started at the bottom, but we're gonna end up on top, period. There, I said it.

NALEE 1:10:57

You said it. I love it. Listeners, you guys are the witness, okay? We're gonna be on top of something. We don't know what it is, but we're gonna be on top of something.

ANTHONY 1:11:09

You probably gonna be on top of B.

NALEE 1:11:12

Hey, that's what's up. Maybe in December. Maybe in December.

ANTHONY 1:11:18

You gotta wait to open this Christmas present. My my last follow-up question for this segment is how do you show yourself grace when your best didn't look impressive?

NALEE 1:11:34

Oh no, that's a good, that's a very good question. How do you show yourself grace when your best didn't look impressive? Okay. Well, for me, I know that I'm my biggest critic.

ANTHONY 1:11:47

Like, we're all our own words.

NALEE 1:11:49

Yeah, when I the only way I could put into perspective is when I do something, I cannot look at it face value. I have to reflect on it once it's been put out there, if that makes sense.

ANTHONY 1:12:00

Yes.

NALEE 1:12:01

So for example, when it comes to my nails, everybody's like, oh my god, it's it you do such a good job. Like, you're one of the best nail techs here, blah, blah, blah. Okay, I get it. They could say they could put a whole bunch of shit up my ass and blow smoke up my ass and shit, but at the end of the day, I'm not gonna believe them. Because I'm like, yeah, I could do better. But like when I go back and like when I'm sharpening my photos to make the like the photos of my nails look good, I do go, damn, like you did that. You know what I mean?

ANTHONY 1:12:36

Your nails are so good, and I I wish that you would like promote them more.

NALEE 1:12:43

Well, again, I'm not licensed. I have to wait till I get licensed first before I do anything remotely like legit. So right now I am doing it more of as a hobby, but I am going to school in the spring for it.

ANTHONY 1:13:00

You can't like just sell nails.

NALEE 1:13:05

I can, but if I was to sell nails, I have to do like an LLC and have to set up a shop and like do all that crazy jazz. So I just haven't gotten into the nitty-gritty of it.

ANTHONY 1:13:18

Do you have to be certified to sell them?

NALEE 1:13:20

No.

ANTHONY 1:13:20

I thought you only had to be certified to like actually do people's nails.

NALEE 1:13:23

Yeah, but I I get more money doing nails than doing press-ons. So I'd prefer to focus on doing nails.

ANTHONY 1:13:33

Okay, here's what I want you to do.

NALEE 1:13:35

What do you want me to do?

ANTHONY 1:13:37

I just had a brilliant idea.

NALEE 1:13:39

Okay, what's your brilliant idea? And this is for the We're taking this off the pod.

ANTHONY 1:13:43

No, this is on the pod. This is for our listeners.

NALEE 1:13:46

Okay.

ANTHONY 1:13:47

It is November, it is Thanksgiving Day, so we should probably give a preemptive like for our listeners out there. We are going to be doing a giveaway.

NALEE 1:13:55

Yes, yes.

ANTHONY 1:13:57

And for the giveaway, I think you should develop a twin tangents set of press on nails.

NALEE 1:14:05

Oh, that'd be cute. I would love to do that. I could definitely integrate that. Yeah. I would love that. That'd be that'd be cool.

ANTHONY 1:14:12

A one-of-a-kind set for one lucky listener.

NALEE 1:14:16

Yes, I love that. Okay. Deal, bet, done, did it.

ANTHONY 1:14:21

Deal, bet, done, did it.

NALEE 1:14:23

Okay. What were we gonna say? What were we talking about?

ANTHONY 1:14:27

We were talking about showing yourself grace.

NALEE 1:14:31

Yeah, so for me, I know that I do that. Where like when it's when it's done right there, like I don't give myself a lot of credit because I'm just like, eh, pish posh. But then like when I reflect on it and I'm able to kind of think about the magnitude of what I produced, then I'm like, God damn. God damn. She a badass bitch. You are a badass bitch. Thank you. But yeah, so what about you? How do you show yourself grace even when it didn't look impressive?

ANTHONY 1:15:06

I struggle with it because I'm so analytical of myself and I have such high expectations for myself that like if I don't do something that how do I say this? If I do something that's not up to my standards, I always have to take a step back and remind myself, like, did I actually give a hundred percent? Yeah. And if I didn't give a hundred percent, then I'm I I do do it a little bit or take it out on myself a little bit more. But like, if I can honestly sit back at the end of the day and be like, you know, I could go to work and my manager, supervisor might ping me or call me and be like, Anthony, you didn't get this done, you didn't get this done, this was incorrect, or something like that, along those lines. At first, I'm gonna be I'm gonna be really hard on myself and be like, what the fuck were you thinking? Why didn't you do this? Yeah. Basic one-on-one bullshit. But then I I'm trying to work on reminding myself, take a step back. Did I give 100%? Did I accurately do this at the time with the knowledge that I had? Yeah. And if it's yes, game over right then and there. I'm like, I just again, this is something I'm working on, but then I'm just like I'm done. Yeah, like I did the best that I could with what you had with what I had.

NALEE 1:16:42

Yeah. Yeah, I think that's a really good strategy. That just reminded me of something super side tangent. But I was again self-help videos. I was I saw this video where a guy was saying, and this is something that like I'm not saying specifically you, but I think it's something that men struggle with a lot because they I don't know why I'm picking on men today, but I'm not.

ANTHONY 1:17:09

I'm just sexist bitch.

NALEE 1:17:11

Yeah, trying to give you guys grace, okay? Damn. But it's from the video, this guy he was saying that like men, they struggle a lot when it comes to trying to perfect or trying to do a specific task or goal. It's gonna sound real stupid and broad, but the reason being is because they're brought up that hey, like you're a man, you need to take care of it, and in turn, in their head, taking care of it is doing it perfectly on how like there's specific ways they think in their head how they should execute a specific thing. So when it doesn't go exactly as planned, then even though it it still worked out at the end, even though they maybe they skipped a step or two at the beginning or in the middle or whatever, but if the outcome was still exactly what it was, they still give themselves shit for not doing it exactly like what it was. Like even when they missed the one or two step, they will give themselves shit for that because one, it's not perfect, or two, like they feel like a complete failure. You know what I mean? And I'm sure girls do this too, but I'm just saying that like according to that video that I saw, I forgot who it was.

ANTHONY 1:18:32

Well, I think it's easier for women to acknowledge it.

NALEE 1:18:35

Yeah, because they're already be doing so much shit.

ANTHONY 1:18:39

Respectively versus men who don't.

NALEE 1:18:45

Yeah. Cause they're it's the thing of they provide for the family. The man's the provider, right? And in order for them to provide for the family, everything has to be done a specific way. And I think it's just a way that men's brains are wired that okay, I have to provide for the family, and I need to be perfect. I need to make sure everything is executed as it should be. And then when they have a little mess up, then they spiral into this thing of I'm a failure, like, and they feel shame and they feel like they're responsible for every other fuck up that's happened in their life, and then they go into this mind rabbit hole where they're just like, Oh, I'm a fuck up. I like I fuck up everything, so I might as well just like fuck up everything now. You know what I mean?

ANTHONY 1:19:29

That was me last night. I made dinner and I used my Instapot and followed the recipe to a tea, took it out, I'm like, temping the chicken, and it's still not even like 150. I'm like, what the fuck? And of course, at the time it was like, what did I do to fuck up? Yeah, yeah. It sounds like it's the stupidest thing, but like, yeah.

NALEE 1:19:58

Yeah, so and it it's it's as simple as that. Is that you forgot one ingredient, or I don't know, the pot isn't working right? You know what I mean? Yeah, and you blame it on yourself, and it's like the world's not over. Yeah, but you think it's over, you think it's over, but it's not, yeah, yeah. Did you have anything else to add onto the segment?

ANTHONY 1:20:19

No, all right.

NALEE 1:20:21

Well, sometimes grace isn't about smiling through it, it's about letting yourself cry in the pantry and still come back to the table.

Friendsgiving Energy & Chosen Family

ANTHONY 1:20:32

Exactly. Gratitude isn't denial, it's choosing to keep going. Now, speaking of keep going, let's move from surviving to celebrating.

NALEE 1:20:45

Our next segment is about traditions we made up and now we swear by. It's the beauty of chosen family, modern traditions, and making meanings out of mess. Okay, Anthony, what is your topic for this segment?

ANTHONY 1:21:04

The cultural remix plates.

NALEE 1:21:06

Wick it, wick it!

unknown 1:21:07

Bick it, break it, bicker.

ANTHONY 1:21:09

Where's Bo? We need Bo.

NALEE 1:21:11

Mam! Yeah, I fucking love Bo.

ANTHONY 1:21:17

So I just I just I just wanted to talk about like blending traditions and making your own menu when it comes to Thanksgiving.

NALEE 1:21:24

Okay. Own menu as far as foods, or own menu as far as foods. Yeah, of course.

ANTHONY 1:21:28

What kind of Thanksgiving episode would this be if we didn't talk about food?

NALEE 1:21:31

Yes. Period. I love food.

ANTHONY 1:21:35

So my first question before we dive into this, because like I said, we have to discuss food on this Thanksgiving episode. Now I know that your family only recently started like celebrating as you would call it white people's Thanksgiving.

NALEE 1:21:51

Yeah. The Pilgrim's Thanksgiving, I should say.

ANTHONY 1:21:56

The Pilgrim's Thanksgiving. And so you do turkey.

NALEE 1:21:59

Yeah.

ANTHONY 1:22:01

Green bean casserole.

NALEE 1:22:03

Yeah. We just started that tradition a couple years ago.

ANTHONY 1:22:06

What other like Americanized foods do you have?

NALEE 1:22:10

So we obviously have the turkey turkey.

ANTHONY 1:22:13

Or as turkey turkey?

NALEE 1:22:15

Yeah, turkey turkey. Like just a turkey.

ANTHONY 1:22:17

Oh, okay. Oh, I get it. Okay.

NALEE 1:22:19

Yeah. And then mashed potatoes and gravy, green bean casserole, and what else? Mac uh. Mac and cheese. Macaroni and cheese, yeah. I usually do Alfredo in place of macaroni and cheese. Because it's still a pasta dish. But yeah.

ANTHONY 1:22:44

Okay. And then you mix you bring hmong food.

NALEE 1:22:48

Yeah, and then normally when we do Thanksgiving, we kind of do a puttluck thing where we bring like our traditional hmong foods, like la or egg rows, or egg rolls. Yes. Or some noodle dish like bling tall or like I don't know. It's just some noodle dish. And then we bring ribs or chicken wings or yeah, just a bunch of other like traditional foods.

ANTHONY 1:23:18

So what's the one food that you look forward to that you only get at Thanksgiving?

NALEE 1:23:25

So I don't know how like other Hmong like families cook their turkey, but when we cook our turkey, we actually mix in vermicelli noodles, which is the noodles that we use in egg rows. So we mix that with red box stuffing. I forgot what stovetop. Stovetop. We mix it up and then we stuff it into the chicken. So then when the chicken's been cooking and rendering for a long time, or a chicken. I meant turkey.

ANTHONY 1:23:54

She did that last time too.

NALEE 1:23:56

I don't know. Same shit. They're birthed birds. They fly, whatever. They got wings, drumsticks, same thing.

ANTHONY 1:24:03

Do turkeys fly?

NALEE 1:24:05

They could fly. Do they? Yeah, not like. It's funny. I just had this conversation the other day. Not like long distance, but they could fly. Okay. Yeah. But yeah, so we stuff it into the turkey, and then obviously we still put potatoes, carrots, and shit like that. But when you eat the stuffing with rice, bitch. With egg rolls on the side, bitch.

ANTHONY 1:24:32

I want some.

NALEE 1:24:33

And then like all the other food, my fucking god, bitch. It's good. Yeah. I mean, it'll give you a heart attack. I'm not gonna lie. With all that oil and butter.

ANTHONY 1:24:46

YOLO.

NALEE 1:24:47

But God damn.

ANTHONY 1:24:49

I always tell my uncle this because people think this is gross, and I'm gonna admit to something right now. It's probably a very unpopular opinion. But like when I have steak and I grill it, for me, one of the best parts is like that fatty grist grisly part. Yes. And my uncle's like, that shit's nasty. Maybe I'll have like one bite of it, but I can't. I'm like, that's the best part. And he's like, he's like, it's so bad for you. And I'm like, And I'm like, I'm not getting out of this life alive.

NALEE 1:25:19

Yeah.

ANTHONY 1:25:19

So I might as well fucking enjoy my food. Yeah, it's probably I like the way it tastes. I'm gonna eat it.

NALEE 1:25:24

It's probably an unpopular opinion, but I love fatty like parts. Like pork belly. I don't know if you had like pork belly. Oh baby. Yes, the fatter the better.

ANTHONY 1:25:37

I'm getting a little frickluffed.

NALEE 1:25:39

Yeah, you sound a little wet, wet over there. Got a little fun, fun going over there. But yeah, like the fattier it is, the better. And like when I do faux, I use like what is it called? Like pork roast meat. So it's it's kind of like it's not super like lean meat. It's still kind of fatty. Oh yeah. And like I always say, I can't like when I cut up the meat, I purposely slice it so that there's a little bit of like fat on it. That's where you get the flavor. Yeah, it's so good. And it's like no regrets, no regurts.

ANTHONY 1:26:18

Like, okay, now I'm tangent off right now.

NALEE 1:26:20

But like we talk about food. We got it.

ANTHONY 1:26:23

When I like growing up, we made when my grandma would make homemade chicken noodle soup. She bought the entire whole chicken and boiled the chicken. And then, you know, with the carrots and the celery and everything to make her own stock. Yeah. And then after the chicken was boiled and cooked, she would take it out and kind of like break it off the bones after it cooled and put it back in, and then start adding all the stuff to finally make it into a soup. Yeah. And I was doing that here one time, and Richard was like, What are you doing? Why are you using a whole chicken? Like, why wouldn't you just use chicken breasts and like cook them first?

NALEE 1:27:05

Yeah.

ANTHONY 1:27:06

I'm like, you have to use the whole chicken because you get all the flavor comes from the skin.

NALEE 1:27:11

The skin. Yes.

ANTHONY 1:27:13

The the gristle, the fat, the bones is a big key ingredient in perfect chicken noodle soup.

NALEE 1:27:21

Yeah. Honestly, like me personally, I didn't start using like broth, like vegetable vegetable broth or beef broth until recently. Because we, how we usually cook it, is let's say if I was cooking faux, right? I would first like blanch the meat until all the nasty gunk stuff comes off for like 10 minutes, and then I'd reboil it, and I would use that, the new boiled water as broth because all the flavors in it.

ANTHONY 1:27:51

Oh, yeah.

NALEE 1:27:52

Yeah, and I I didn't start using like the broth until like recently.

ANTHONY 1:27:58

You just cook it and then all that nasty stuff that flows to the top, get yourself one of those skimming off. Yeah.

NALEE 1:28:05

I mean, I used to do that, but like now that I've grown older, I don't know. I usually just boil it for like 10 minutes and then because regardless, you're still gonna get the nasty gunk stuff. But when you do that, it just I don't know. To me, the broth just tastes a bit cleaner. Yeah.

ANTHONY 1:28:25

If you switch it, yeah.

NALEE 1:28:26

If I do like a double boil. Oh, yeah.

ANTHONY 1:28:29

Yeah.

NALEE 1:28:30

Yeah, but we do that across the board with any with all the meat, like pork, beef, chicken. Like that's how we cook stuff. Like mong people actually have a dish where it's boiled pork with mustard greens.

ANTHONY 1:28:44

Oh, interesting.

NALEE 1:28:45

Yeah, it's pretty good. Don't knock it till you try it.

ANTHONY 1:28:48

Put some I ain't knocking it.

NALEE 1:28:49

Yeah, put some, y'all already know. Put some pepper in it over rice, baby. Bit yeah, but that's like traditional monk food right there.

unknown 1:29:00

Okay.

NALEE 1:29:01

We actually eat a lot of boiled stuff. Like chicken, yeah. Boiled fish. You and Melissa's making fun of us. I mean, not me. My parents eat it. I don't eat it, but fish soup.

ANTHONY 1:29:14

Fish soup? Why?

NALEE 1:29:16

White bass fish soup, y'all already know.

ANTHONY 1:29:24

It's actually it's a no for me, is what it is.

NALEE 1:29:28

Sometimes I crave it because like there's a lot of herbs and stuff in it, but sometimes I'm just kind of like, I'm not a fish person, so it's a no for me. What about you? What's one thing that you absolutely have to have? And what is your like typical Thanksgiving white people dinner?

ANTHONY 1:29:47

Well, my family's typical Thanksgiving Day dinner is like the turkey, mashed potatoes, and gravy, sweet potatoes, stuffing, green bean casserole. For some reason, people in my family really like cranberry sauce, like the can.

NALEE 1:30:03

Okay. I don't think we've ever eaten any cranberries.

ANTHONY 1:30:06

Cranberry jelly or whatever it's called. Bye. Nothing.

NALEE 1:30:09

That's so nasty.

ANTHONY 1:30:10

Yeah.

NALEE 1:30:11

What's the point of that? Like, is it does it add like sweetness to the bite, or like what's the point of cranberry sauce? I never understood that.

ANTHONY 1:30:20

I have no idea. I got nothing. Some people like cranberry sauce. I'm not one of them. We always have to have rolls.

NALEE 1:30:29

Oh, yes.

ANTHONY 1:30:31

I think that's really sometimes we'll do mac and cheese, but oh, my uncle. I I feel bad because I've told him not to make this for like the last like I don't know, six, eight years.

NALEE 1:30:47

Okay.

ANTHONY 1:30:48

But he makes a really delicious lime jello, we call it.

NALEE 1:30:52

Mmm, that sounds good.

ANTHONY 1:30:53

It's really good. I'll have a make it this year and I'll give some to you if you want to.

NALEE 1:30:57

Yeah, I love jello.

ANTHONY 1:30:58

But it's like it's lime jello, cool whip, cream cheese, pineapple.

NALEE 1:31:03

Mmm, that sounds real good. I think that's it. Yeah, I would love it.

ANTHONY 1:31:07

It's like, it's not like jello or like gelatin, it's like slop almost.

NALEE 1:31:13

Is it gooey? Yeah.

ANTHONY 1:31:15

Yeah.

NALEE 1:31:16

Okay. Yeah, you could you could pack a little bit for me. I'll see you.

ANTHONY 1:31:20

It looks horrible.

NALEE 1:31:22

Okay.

ANTHONY 1:31:22

But I mean, growing up, I used to love it. I thought it tasted so good.

NALEE 1:31:26

I'll have B try it first, and if he doesn't die, then I'll try it.

ANTHONY 1:31:30

He's not gonna die.

NALEE 1:31:30

I promise that. Okay.

ANTHONY 1:31:34

What was the other question? Oh, so that's one of the things. I think I'm gonna do it.

NALEE 1:31:38

Your favorite dish, like that you cannot go without.

ANTHONY 1:31:41

Sweet potatoes. Hands down.

NALEE 1:31:43

Sweet potatoes.

ANTHONY 1:31:44

Yeah. My aunt made the best sweet potatoes, and they're like in this oily, rich, sweet brown sugar glaze.

SPEAKER_00 1:31:55

That smells so good.

Messy Gratitude And Year-End Reflections

ANTHONY 1:31:56

Oh, they're so good. She used to make when I was a kid too summer squash, like the yellow squash. Okay. And I don't know how she cooked it, but it was sweet and it was almost like a slop as well.

NALEE 1:32:09

But interesting.

ANTHONY 1:32:10

I haven't had that in years either.

NALEE 1:32:13

And then Do you have a recipe for it?

ANTHONY 1:32:16

I don't actually.

NALEE 1:32:18

Oh, okay.

ANTHONY 1:32:19

Last thing that I want to say about food is I keep one thing that I've seen this recipe like multiple times that I've always wanted to try.

SPEAKER_00 1:32:29

Okay.

ANTHONY 1:32:30

Is like egg rolls with Thanksgiving Day leftovers where you take like, I don't know, the what do you wrap them in? Wontons or something? Yeah. But you so you take the wontons and then you put like a little bit of turkey, okay, mashed potatoes, like green beans. The recipe, uh the first recipe I saw said to also like top it with like the cranberry sauce, and then you wrap it like an egg roll. That sounds good. Deep fry it. Okay, and then you dip it in gravy.

NALEE 1:32:56

Yes, ma'am.

ANTHONY 1:32:57

It sounds like a good idea. I don't ever deep fry anything.

NALEE 1:33:01

Well, I have a deep fryer.

ANTHONY 1:33:03

So we'll have to try that this week.

NALEE 1:33:04

Yeah. I have a deep fryer, so you let me know.

ANTHONY 1:33:07

Deal.

NALEE 1:33:08

Yeah. Okay. So yeah, so that's me.

ANTHONY 1:33:11

What about you? What'd you have?

NALEE 1:33:13

What I wanted to talk about was Friendsgiving energy, the rise of chosen family holidays. So I have a question for you, Anthony. Who's at your dream Thanksgiving table this year? If you could come up with like five people you would want at your table, including not including you, so a total a total of six people at your table, who would it consist of?

ANTHONY 1:33:47

Like anybody in the world?

NALEE 1:33:48

Anybody in the world dead or alive.

ANTHONY 1:33:51

Oh, dead or alive?

NALEE 1:33:52

Yeah.

ANTHONY 1:33:53

Well, obviously my grandma.

SPEAKER_00 1:33:55

Okay.

ANTHONY 1:33:56

Five people. So my grandma, my aunt, my uncle, my other aunt. So basically a typical Thanksgiving. And then I have room for one more. That leaves me one more spot. I feel like I should say Richard. But he's not big into like big meals like that. Okay. So I'm going to. Okay.

NALEE 1:34:29

That was really long choosing.

ANTHONY 1:34:32

Megan Malale.

NALEE 1:34:33

Who the fuck is Megan Malali? Oh, is she the Karen from Will and Grace? Oh, but I would want her to show up as Karen. Hi, darling. Her. Is that is that who I'm talking about? That's horrible, but that was horrible, but she really means like Janice. She's high pitched. Yeah. Hi. That's who I. Juice boxes. Vicky Pika. Vicky Picka. It's about to be picka picka. Brute of you, first of all, not to invite me, bitch. I'm shocked you didn't say Brittany Spears. That's very shocking to me. Interesting. Okay.

ANTHONY 1:35:14

Well, I mean, in all fairness, I was thinking like Thanksgiving, like for me, Thanksgiving is like family. Did you say Friendsgiving?

NALEE 1:35:25

Yeah, it's Friendsgiving energy. And it could be anybody at your table.

ANTHONY 1:35:31

Okay, can I do two? So there's my family. Thanksgiving.

NALEE 1:35:37

But uh-huh. Go ahead.

ANTHONY 1:35:38

For Friendsgiving.

NALEE 1:35:40

Okay.

ANTHONY 1:35:40

I would invite you. Duh. I would invite Melissa. I would invite my friends Scott and Eric. So that's four. And Richard.

NALEE 1:35:56

Okay. This would be a bomb as dinner.

ANTHONY 1:35:59

Yeah. If I'm cooking.

NALEE 1:36:00

Yeah. Period. Well, we'd be two we'd be rich and we'd like cook out, or we'd like order out, so it's fine.

ANTHONY 1:36:07

No, I don't want to order out for the I don't I would rather cook Thanksgiving. Oh, really? Yeah. Especially, especially if we're rich, I would have the kitchen of my dreams, so I would just That's true.

NALEE 1:36:18

Yeah, that's true. Okay. Okay, I'll see you. I'll see you, Laura.

ANTHONY 1:36:22

But I will say that I think we're thinking about ordering in this year? This year. I think we're gonna look into that whole like High V. High V.

NALEE 1:36:29

Okay. I think you were gonna do it last year, didn't you? Yeah, but you decided not to because it was too late or something.

ANTHONY 1:36:34

Yeah, probably.

NALEE 1:36:35

Okay, okay. Very nice, very nice.

ANTHONY 1:36:38

Yeah, what about you? Same question you.

NALEE 1:36:40

Since you created your own question on the family dinner.

ANTHONY 1:36:44

Well, I didn't create my own question, I just split it into two. I split your question into a family Thanksgiving and a friends giving.

NALEE 1:36:51

Yes, I'm just kidding. I'm just giving you two.

ANTHONY 1:36:53

I know.

NALEE 1:36:53

For me, if I can have five people, that's really hard. Because I have a big family, and I can't like favoritize people.

ANTHONY 1:37:05

See?

NALEE 1:37:05

You know what I mean?

ANTHONY 1:37:06

Oh, yes, you can. Listen, if Kim Kardashian can be asked to list her three favorite sisters and answer it.

NALEE 1:37:17

I love all my sisters though, equally. And I'm saying that at the bottom of my heart. Like, I cannot pick one of them over the other.

ANTHONY 1:37:24

Try.

NALEE 1:37:25

Well, I have five people.

ANTHONY 1:37:28

Okay.

NALEE 1:37:29

So technically, I'm gonna add more onto that. I'm gonna add an alternate family dinner. Oh I would do I would do my four sisters and my younger brother for one if I had the chance.

ANTHONY 1:37:47

Okay.

NALEE 1:37:47

In turn of that, like alternatively, I would maybe have my mom and my dad at the other one. You're gonna do it. She'll probably sit out on this one. Just kidding. Not my grandma, and then my uncle Pow. And that's what mom, dad, grandma, uncle pal, and then my mom's mom. So my grandma, my other grandma, my mom's mom. So the five of them. Now, if I could have like dream guests, the five people would be. Unfortunately, I'd have I'd have to include B. So he's one of them.

ANTHONY 1:38:30

I would say unfortunately.

NALEE 1:38:32

Because I have to include him because he's my man. I have to make sure he eats too. The hell you do. He got his own family. But I'm just kidding. Well, it'll be B, and then I'd have to invite somebody to entertain B. So I'd like, because we said dead or alive, I'd invite Kobe.

SPEAKER_03 1:38:50

Oh.

NALEE 1:38:51

Yeah. So he's R.I.P. Yeah, so he could entertain B. The other three, one will be obviously Bruno Mars. One would be. Let me think. Let me think. I know Bruno Mars. Oh, he's gonna be my bad baby. I don't know about at dinner.

ANTHONY 1:39:12

You're gonna be the turkey, he's gonna stuff.

NALEE 1:39:14

Hey, that's right. He's gonna give me the right stuff in this year. He's gonna be dinner. He's gonna be what's he's gonna be dessert, actually. He's gonna be dessert. Yes. But let's see. Okay. It would be Kobe, B, Bruno Mars, Lady Gaga, and I have one more choice. This is really, really hard.

ANTHONY 1:39:42

It is. I should have invited Taylor. I'll save her for Christmas.

NALEE 1:39:50

Let's see. And Viola Davis.

ANTHONY 1:39:55

Oh, that's yeah.

NALEE 1:39:56

I really like her. So yeah.

ANTHONY 1:39:58

I do like her. I didn't like her to begin with, and now I love her.

NALEE 1:40:00

No, I fucking love her.

ANTHONY 1:40:01

After watching How to Get Away with Murder.

NALEE 1:40:02

I feel like she could wisdom me a lot. She could give me a lot of tips.

ANTHONY 1:40:07

Oh, I should have said Barack Obama.

NALEE 1:40:09

Yeah. Oh, I was gonna say Michelle Obama. But I'm not that big into politics, and I don't know if I would have I wouldn't know if I would be able to conversate with her. I'd be like, yes, Miss President. Yes.

ANTHONY 1:40:19

Miss President?

NALEE 1:40:20

Yeah.

unknown 1:40:21

Okay.

NALEE 1:40:21

But Bruno Mars.

ANTHONY 1:40:22

You know she wasn't president. I know.

NALEE 1:40:24

She was the first lady to Barack Obama. I'm not that dumb.

ANTHONY 1:40:29

I never said you were dumb.

NALEE 1:40:30

But knowing me, I probably would freak out and be like, Miss President. But yeah, Bruno Mars for sure. Kobe, because B, I have to sacrifice one person at the table. One spot, I should say. Lady Gaga, because I fucking love her. And then Viola Davis, because I fucking love her too.

ANTHONY 1:40:49

That's a good list. Yeah.

NALEE 1:40:50

And if I could switch one, one would probably be Sandra O.

ANTHONY 1:40:55

Uh, pass.

NALEE 1:40:56

Or uh really like Sandra O. I love Sandra O.

ANTHONY 1:40:59

She's huge on her.

NALEE 1:41:00

I think she is kind of like me, where she grows on people. Like, she's a lot, but then when you get to know her personally, like she's fucking awesome. You know, she protests a lot for Asian rights and shit.

ANTHONY 1:41:15

Ooh, Jane Fonda. You have no idea who she is, but she sounds old. She is old. She's like 85.

NALEE 1:41:23

Oh, uh, and you know who else? If I had the opportunity, Robin Williams. I fucking love Robin Williams. I was, oh, and Matthew Perry. Yeah. Chandler.

ANTHONY 1:41:35

Okay, but you're up to like 10 people now.

NALEE 1:41:37

See, it's hard. These are alternatives. But yeah, I have so many people I look up to, but yeah. Okay. Last questionnaire for you. Well, the other question that I have for you was has your definition of family changed this year? And what is your definition of family?

ANTHONY 1:42:02

So that's a fully loaded question.

NALEE 1:42:04

Uh-huh.

ANTHONY 1:42:10

Yes, my definition of family definitely has changed in the last year. Okay. And people who I consider family has been altered as well this year.

NALEE 1:42:28

Okay.

ANTHONY 1:42:30

I'm not gonna go into any detail.

NALEE 1:42:32

No, that's fine. There seems to be some drama there, but okay. No, no drama. Oh, okay.

unknown 1:42:38

No.

NALEE 1:42:40

Would you elaborate on that?

ANTHONY 1:42:42

Didn't I just say I'm not gonna elaborate on that?

NALEE 1:42:45

You can elaborate on it. Off the record.

ANTHONY 1:42:47

Off the record. It's I mean explained.

NALEE 1:42:51

Enough said.

ANTHONY 1:42:52

Enough said. My definition.

NALEE 1:42:55

Y'all it was juicy. He gotta tell y'all, but it was juicy as the fuck.

ANTHONY 1:42:59

And what is my definition of family? I think my definition of family are people who I am I feel seen by, I feel heard by, people who are supportive of me and my life, and vice versa. And people who I feel that I would be able to middle of the night call and that they would be there.

NALEE 1:43:34

I love that. Okay.

ANTHONY 1:43:38

Yeah.

NALEE 1:43:38

Yeah, I like that.

ANTHONY 1:43:40

What about you? Same question.

NALEE 1:43:42

Um have your has my definition of family changed this year? I would say no, not really. It's just kind of been the same. I do keep a tight-knit group, so if you've made it past the threshold, you've made it for it to eternity. So yeah, so my definite definition hasn't changed as far as what family means to me is family means the definition of family to me, I should say, is people who are accepted, accepted or has accepted me, regardless of all my flaws, and they're willing to support my growth, whether that's financially, mentally, physically, emotionally, and vice versa. And people who continuously show and put an effort in my life and to be a part of my life. And I know that sounds real selfish because there was a lot about me, me, me, me, me, but at the end of the day, it's just you take care of your family, you know, and so they have to take care of you too. And people who are willing to people who are willing to spend time with me. Yeah.

ANTHONY 1:45:12

That's a good one.

NALEE 1:45:13

Yeah.

ANTHONY 1:45:15

I liked that you went into. Depth and as far as people who will you know challenge you and Yeah, that's what's up.

SPEAKER_03 1:45:26

That's what's up, she says.

NALEE 1:45:28

Yeah. People who support you will have to support you in change when you're changed. You know what I mean? Because you can't stay the same. And if people want you to stay the same, they're not willing to help you grow. And if they're not willing to help you grow, they do they really actually love you if they don't want you to grow. You know what I mean?

ANTHONY 1:45:48

I do. I do have some thoughts on that, but that's your thoughts. No, that's for another time. Yeah.

NALEE 1:45:54

Rude.

ANTHONY 1:45:55

Rude.

NALEE 1:45:56

Okay.

ANTHONY 1:45:57

Alright. See, listeners, traditions aren't just inherited. Sometimes they're improvised.

NALEE 1:46:04

And the best ones usually start with laughter and leftovers.

ANTHONY 1:46:09

Amen. Finally, we've reached the last segment of our episode today. Messy gratitude and year-end reflection. We want to wrap this episode up with humor and honesty. We want to celebrate the messy, the imperfect gratitude moments that define the year. Nali, what did you want to discuss for this segment?

NALEE 1:46:34

Sure. So for me, I want to discuss 2025 in one bite. If this year were a Thanksgiving dish, what would it be and why?

ANTHONY 1:46:47

Oh my god. If this year were a Thanksgiving dish, what would it be and why? Okay, I want to preface my response by saying it's not that I'm not grateful for anything that I've endured this year. Okay. It's not that I have no gratitude. It's not that I'm not thankful. Okay. But if I had to, if this year were a Thanksgiving dish, it would probably be burnt slop.

NALEE 1:47:28

Why burnt slop? What is slop?

ANTHONY 1:47:31

I exactly. It's what I'm thinking. It is what it is. I'm thinking it's something that we put in the oven. We lost track of time. We don't know what it was going in, but coming out.

NALEE 1:47:41

It was slop.

ANTHONY 1:47:42

It's burnt, crusty, slop, and slop and unedible.

NALEE 1:47:47

I was not expecting that.

ANTHONY 1:47:51

This year has been a rough year.

NALEE 1:47:53

It really has. It really has.

ANTHONY 1:47:55

Yes. So again, not that I'm not grateful for some of the things, but it's been rough.

NALEE 1:48:03

It'd be a lot. It's been rough.

ANTHONY 1:48:04

There were a lot more things to not be grateful for than there were to be grateful for this year, in my opinion.

NALEE 1:48:10

Okay.

ANTHONY 1:48:11

In my life.

NALEE 1:48:12

That's a good example. Burnt slop.

ANTHONY 1:48:15

Well, I had a hard time. I was like, is it gonna be a burnt turkey? Is it gonna be burnt stuffing?

NALEE 1:48:21

Burnt potatoes.

ANTHONY 1:48:22

Burnt potatoes, burnt mac and cheese.

NALEE 1:48:24

Yeah.

ANTHONY 1:48:24

So I figured slop could just be anything, everything. Anything and everything.

NALEE 1:48:29

Okay.

ANTHONY 1:48:30

What about you?

NALEE 1:48:31

For me, since I've mentioned that instead of mac and cheese, I do Alfredo, right? Mm-hmm. So mine is Alfredo. It's good going in, but when it comes out, baby, it was messy. And that's I see 2025. Not that I'm not grateful again. 2025 in the beginning, it was nice. It was nice. I had high. We were chilling.

ANTHONY 1:48:53

Yep.

NALEE 1:48:54

Middle of the year.

ANTHONY 1:48:56

Middle of the year. Yeah.

Closing Blessings & Thanks

NALEE 1:48:58

Middle of the year. Was when I started feeling the bubbles in my stomach. Hear that gurgling. And at the end of the year, that shit's coming out. And it ain't coming out cute. It's coming out loud and strong. So yeah, it's uh it's chicken alfredo for me this year. Follow cushion on that one.

ANTHONY 1:49:22

Okay.

NALEE 1:49:23

What's one lesson you're taking into the next season? Or leaving in the fridge to rot?

ANTHONY 1:49:29

Well, considering my first response was more negative.

NALEE 1:49:34

Burnt flop.

ANTHONY 1:49:35

Burnt slop. I will put focus on one lesson that I'm taking into the next season.

SPEAKER_00 1:49:43

Okay.

ANTHONY 1:49:44

And this is something that you've pretty much been driving home for episodes now. But just to be more patient and be more graceful with yourself or show yourself more grace.

NALEE 1:49:55

Love that. You're welcome.

ANTHONY 1:49:58

Thank you.

NALEE 1:49:58

Yeah. I love that. Thank you, Omasaya Nali. That's okay.

SPEAKER_00 1:50:05

I got you.

ANTHONY 1:50:05

Or as Richard likes to call you, thank you, Nalai Lama.

NALEE 1:50:09

He called me Nalai Lama.

ANTHONY 1:50:11

Yeah.

NALEE 1:50:11

That's hilarious.

ANTHONY 1:50:12

I've told you that, haven't I?

NALEE 1:50:14

I don't think so. I've been called a lot of names though. Like people go bitch. Yeah. Slut. Well, that's my middle name. Not slut, bitch. Yeah, people used to call me. There's this kid. His name was his name was Will. He used to call me Hey Nelly. Like every time. And it got on my nerves so bad. I'm just like, I fucking hate you. But I did, I did actually hate him, but I was just like, why do you gotta call me that? Like this is you know, but anyways, I like Nalilama. That's cute.

ANTHONY 1:50:48

You're welcome.

NALEE 1:50:49

It shows that I'm wisdomless. Because the Lalilama was wisdomess. You know what I mean? One lesson that I'm taking into the season or leaving in the fridge to rot. Let's say on that Jeopardy, that Jeopardy. That Jeopardy music. Okay, let's see.

SPEAKER_00 1:51:19

Um I don't know.

NALEE 1:51:25

That's a good question. Let me think. Give me like give me like two more minutes.

ANTHONY 1:51:32

Okay.

NALEE 1:51:33

Continue that Jeopardy music. Put on a little Adele. Taking to the next season or leaving it in the fridge to rot. Well, I don't want to leave it on I don't want to leave it on a negative note too, because obviously I feel like we've talked about not always thinking negatively. So for me, one thing is that one thing I will take with me is growth is a slow growth is a slow process and just be willing to accept whatever comes with it.

unknown 1:52:08

Yeah.

NALEE 1:52:09

Good, bad, everything. So yeah.

ANTHONY 1:52:12

I agree with that.

NALEE 1:52:13

Because at the end of the day, the better reward is for those who wait and those who are patient.

ANTHONY 1:52:19

Patience is a virtue.

NALEE 1:52:21

Yes.

ANTHONY 1:52:21

I ain't got no fucking patience though.

NALEE 1:52:23

I don't either, but apparently I still do. So yeah. I do want to end on a quote though.

ANTHONY 1:52:31

Oh, you and your quotes.

NALEE 1:52:32

Yeah. I know Chili loves this quote because I taught her this quote in our training class. But yeah, my quote is that it is a bad day, not a bad life. So keep on keeping on.

ANTHONY 1:52:48

That reminds me of a quote that I used to have hanging in my cubicle at the further.

NALEE 1:52:53

Okay.

ANTHONY 1:52:54

And it was Was it a bad day or was it just a bad five minutes?

NALEE 1:53:02

It's been a bad year.

ANTHONY 1:53:05

True. True. True that.

NALEE 1:53:08

Okay.

ANTHONY 1:53:09

I went into 2025 with good hopes.

NALEE 1:53:11

Yeah. And then it was like shit show after shit show after shit show. I was like, I'm gonna manifest it. This is my last bad year of my life. I'm ready for that. No, I didn't. Well, I didn't say that. I didn't say that, but I'm saying it now. I'm putting it out there. I'm manifesting it, only thinking good and positive thoughts and thoughts about money and thoughts about good food and getting skinny. But yeah, I'm putting it out there. Like I am done with the negative energy, and I'm ready to accept abundance. I'm ready to accept knowledge, and I'm ready to accept wealth, and I'm ready to accept happiness.

ANTHONY 1:53:53

Amen to that.

NALEE 1:53:55

Yes.

ANTHONY 1:53:56

I will put that out there with you as well.

NALEE 1:53:58

Yes.

ANTHONY 1:53:58

2026 is gonna be my year. It's gonna be our year.

NALEE 1:54:02

Say it with me. If it's say it with me, the three F's. If it ain't fucking me, if it ain't feeding me, and if it ain't financing me, I don't want it. Amen. Alright. So with oops, so yeah. Gratitude isn't always aesthetic. Sometimes it's survival, sarcasm, and small victories.

ANTHONY 1:54:28

Exactly. Gratitude grows in weird places, like your heart, your chaos, and your car on the drive home. And that's our Thanksgiving spread. Equal parts gravy, grace, and good intentions.

NALEE 1:54:43

Remember, gratitude isn't about perfection, it's about noticing the small things that got you through another year.

ANTHONY 1:54:51

So take the break, take that damn nap, and take the last roll. You fucking earned it.

NALEE 1:54:59

We're thankful for you, our tangent fam, or should I say, our community.

ANTHONY 1:55:05

Happy Thanksgiving host.

NALEE 1:55:08

Bye.