🎙️Nalee's Hypothetical Hotline - Episode 1 - The Future Mismatch (AUDIO ONLY)🎙️

In Nalee’s first-ever episode of Nalee’s Hypothetical Hotline, we’re starting with a big one—the kind of question that doesn’t live in hypotheticals for very long.

What happens when love is real, the relationship is solid… but the future plans don’t match?
Kids vs. no kids. Staying vs. walking away. Hoping someone will change vs. knowing deep down they won’t.

This episode unpacks the emotional weight of mismatched timelines, the responsibility that comes with ending something instead of dragging it out, and the fallout when honesty comes late—or not at all. When past choices resurface and “what ifs” become permanent realities, things get messy fast.

We talk about transparency, accountability, and the uncomfortable truth that love alone doesn’t always mean compatibility. Sometimes closure doesn’t come with answers—just acceptance.

No easy solutions. No sugarcoating.
Just real talk, reflective pauses, and the kind of conversations you have after the feelings hit.

Takeaways you’ll sit with:

Love isn’t enough if the future you want doesn’t align

Walking away can be an act of responsibility, not failure

Honesty about kids, timelines, and expectations isn’t optional—it’s essential

Reflection matters when “hypothetical” choices turn very real

Welcome to the Hotline.
Let’s talk about the things people avoid until it’s too late.

⚠️ Twin Tangents: Because Therapy Was Booked ⚠️
 Unfiltered. Unapologetic. Unhinged (just a bit).

Hosted by Nalee & Anthony—this is your safe, spicy space to spiral. Expect adult content, hot takes, and high-functioning chaos.

And yes, we call our listeners H.O.E.S.
 (Hilarious. Over it. Emotionally unstable. Spicy.)
 It’s not an insult. It’s a hoe-mmunity.

What if we did choose chaos… but thoughtfully?

Nalee’s Hypothetical Hotline delivers advice that’s 70% emotionally intelligent, 20% petty, and 10% “please don’t actually do this.” Send in your hypotheticals that are absolutely not hypotheticals, and we’ll help you navigate your main-character energy with just enough restraint.

Growth. With seasoning.

This isn’t therapy. This isn’t mediation. This is Twin Tangents Court.

Where group chat screenshots become evidence, red flags are entered into the record, and absolutely no one leaves unjudged. From dating disasters to roommate crimes to petty indictments, we bring the gavel down with dramatic precision.

New cases drop every other Friday at 8 AM Central. Bring your receipts. Prepare for sentencing.

Just when you thought the chaos was over—Anthony and Nalee invite you to keep the tangents going. With a soft outro vibe and one last wink to the listener, this post-roll points you toward the Twin Tangents website and socials for more unfiltered content. Because if you’re still here, you clearly get it… and we love that for you.

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Transcript

New Segment And Setup

SPEAKER_01 0:43

Welcome back to Nali's Hypothetical Hotline, or should I say our first official individual Nali's hypothetical hotline. We are gonna be releasing it every Wednesday. So every other Wednesday that we're not doing full episodes. So this is something we're trying out new this year. So hopefully y'all like it. Yes, we are sticking to visuals. So Nollie's hypothetical hotline are where situations are fake, but the opinions are full on chaos. This is my co-host Anthony, if he hasn't had a time to introduce himself yet.

ANTHONY 1:23

I'm sitting back here. This is gonna be Nolly's baby. That's why it's Nolly's hypothetical.

SPEAKER_01 1:28

So Yes. All right.

ANTHONY 1:30

So Yeah, I'm just here. No, you're fine.

The Future Mismatch Scenario

SPEAKER_01 1:33

Yes. So pretty much as what the title is, it's a hypothetical situation. And I'm gonna give that hypothetical situation to Anthony, and then we're gonna kind of see what each other's opinions are based on the situation. So today, the episode question is would you date someone who you didn't want kids with? Or if you wanted kids and they didn't? And obviously, Anthony's not a big fan of children, but regardless of that, I feel like we may be able to get some good conversation out of this. So this is a scenario. It's called the future mismatch. And you've been dating for almost two years. The relationship is like full on solid. You guys have great chemistry, same humor, same routines. Your friends love your partner and your families get along. But then one night, the conversation drifts to the future and kids come up casually, and you know, you're just kind of like, okay, we haven't really talked about that yet. But then your partner says to you, and you know, I don't ever want kids. There's no maybe, no someday, just no. Like I don't want any kids at all. But you, on the other hand, you, you know, have always pictured being a parent and you say that, okay, I don't really need it right now, but I see it in the future. It's in the future. But you know, again, someday you want it. And they they tell you that they love you, but they just don't see themselves changing or having kids. And they say obviously, you know, they don't want to lose you over not having kids or having something that hasn't even existed yet. My question now to you is Is love enough when your future doesn't line up? Or is this a deal breaker that you think you could outgrow from? And then I do have some talking points, but I'll let you answer that those questions first. So again, is love enough when you you when your futures don't line up, or is this a deal breaker that you feel like you could outgrow from?

ANTHONY 3:34

Okay, so first off, this is a really good hypothetical to start off with.

SPEAKER_01 3:39

Period.

ANTHONY 3:40

For this new segment of yours.

SPEAKER_01 3:43

2026, here we come, baby.

ANTHONY 3:45

2026, let's attack it.

SPEAKER_01 3:47

Yes.

ANTHONY 3:48

Gosh, this one's really making me think because I'm you know how I feel about kids. So I just I'm inclined to be like, no, it it's fine if you don't want kids. But if I wanted kids and my partner did not want kids, and we've been together for two years, first and foremost, I would like to say that I would hope that even if it only came up casually, that there would have been a more conversations or more indicators about where we stood on children over the course of two years. Because now it's two years in, it's like that's a What are we doing? That's a pretty serious, yeah. It's I mean, it's a pretty serious relationship. And for now, this is literally like Hiroshima, like you're dropping a bomb right now.

SPEAKER_01 4:31

Yeah.

ANTHONY 4:33

This is a really hard one.

SPEAKER_01 4:35

Interesting. Okay, let's for you, I guess it's easier to put it in a sense of let's say a dog. Let's say your partner didn't want a dog and you wanted a dog.

ANTHONY 4:46

Oh, that's a deal breaker.

SPEAKER_01 4:48

So it's a deal breaker for you.

ANTHONY 4:49

It's a deal breaker for me if it's a dog.

SPEAKER_01 4:51

Like because I feel like children is kind of the same as dogs because they you have to take care of them. The only difference is with dogs or pets and children is children's, they grow up. They know they give you like they grow up. That's it. You know what I mean? But dogs, they're gonna stay loyal to you, but they're just like an another child. And y'all could come for me, that's okay. I'm just saying that maybe it's not the same. I'm just saying.

ANTHONY 5:19

I'm not gonna come for you, but I am gonna refute that because I think that they're two completely you can't put those in the same boat.

SPEAKER_01 5:28

Okay.

Is Love Enough Or A Deal Breaker

ANTHONY 5:28

In the same category, only because like a child, that is a lifelong commitment.

SPEAKER_01 5:33

You are on I mean, a dog is like on commitment unless they're like saying bye-bye. You know what I mean?

ANTHONY 5:42

Well, that's I mean, that I guess that's what I'm kind of getting at is like a dog is you're going to outlive the dog, most likely. Whereas a child You could outlive your child too.

SPEAKER_01 5:52

I'm just saying.

ANTHONY 5:53

You can, but ideally, the whole point of having a child and having that family is that you get to grow old and see them grow up and have kids and start their own family and start that whole cycle over. So ideally, your child is going to outlive you.

SPEAKER_01 6:11

I guess. Right. Yeah.

ANTHONY 6:13

So you're when you have a child, you're on the hook for 18 years financially. 18 years. And then even after those 18 years, you're not on the hook financially. But I mean, there is still that I don't want to say expectation, but like you're my mom, you're my dad, you're gonna be there for me if I if I need you, if I fall, if I stumble. So it is I don't think that you can put them in the same category. With a dog for me, if yes, if there's no chance of a dog, that's gonna be a deal breaker for me. Okay. With a child, and again, going back to your hypothetical hypothetical, if I want children and my partner doesn't, it's really hard to be able to answer that. Like it's like one of those things where you don't want to end it, especially over something like this after two years. But with that being said, there is still there's multiple variables. So the first that I'm gonna say is okay, so if you do go your separate ways, if that's a complete 100% deal breaker, if it was meant to be, it's meant to be. You guys will find your way back to each other. Now, if you choose to stay in that relationship and you say, all right, well, I guess we're just gonna put this on the back burner, there is a chance that maybe my partner five years from now will change their mind. Ten years from now, maybe we'll change their mind. Maybe it is a matter of not wanting to birth a child, maybe it's a matter of, you know, considering adoption, or that's another variable. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 7:45

Okay.

ANTHONY 7:45

Yeah, I don't know. That's a really tough one.

SPEAKER_01 7:48

Very good points I do have. Like I said, some talking points, but I'll answer it to my opinion is based on this situation, and I could personally relate to this, but that's, you know, I'm probably gonna be biased. But I feel like at this point two years in. Two years in, if you feel like you don't want kids and I know that I want kids, I just walk away. Because the thing is, I feel like, and I'm just speaking from it could be from, I don't know, a girl's perspective, a man's perspective, but the perspective of somebody who's actually wanting a kid, you've built a future of yourself being a parent. And it's very hard for you to imagine your life without that because it's something you you've always been innate to, you've always had that instinct in you where you're like, okay, I want kids when I grow up or when I become an adult. I know I want to be a mom or a dad. But and this is also me being devil's advocate. But at the same time, you can still be with somebody who doesn't want kids, and maybe eventually you'll outgrow it and you're like, okay, actually, you know what? Like, there's pros and cons to having kids.

ANTHONY 9:01

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 9:01

They're expensive. Things change. Yeah, exactly.

ANTHONY 9:04

And then sorry, I'm I that's why I said it can go either way, really.

SPEAKER_01 9:08

Yeah, yeah. But I'm just saying that if you in your hearts of hearts feel that, okay, you know what? If you put it in a way of if I didn't have this person and I had a kid, am I still gonna be able to commit to that? Am I still gonna be able to commit to being a parent? Or is it, are you in your Dululu land where you're like, oh no, I see a kid with this person, and if I no longer have them, I don't want kids, you know? So yes, it it could go either way, but it could go either way. I don't I I thought I had an answer, but I don't anymore.

ANTHONY 9:44

Yeah, that's a really hard one to answer to be.

SPEAKER_01 9:47

It is. So, okay, next question. Right now we're kind of in the middle of it. So do you think it is fair to stay and hope that somebody will change their mind? Or do you feel like, you know, you should just take it at face value and be like, okay, if you don't want kids and I want kids, then I'm gonna walk away.

Dogs Versus Kids Debate

ANTHONY 10:06

I think that that's gonna be up to the individual because you really need to ask yourself, okay, so if my partner doesn't want kids and I do and I choose to stay, is there anything inside me that is going to say, okay, there is if there's even 1% chance in my mind that maybe five years from now, 10 years from now, I won't want kids, then there's still that possibility. So if I made that decision to stay in that relationship, that's gonna be on me. But again, I again, if there's only that 1%, 1% is not 0%. So if I asked myself, am I gonna be happy with my life if I never have kids and there is a 0% chance that I would be happy without kids, then I need to walk away. Because I'm not gonna stay in that relationship knowing that there's a possibility that I won't be happy.

SPEAKER_01 11:11

Okay.

ANTHONY 11:11

Knowing for sure that if I never have kids, I won't be happy. Why am I gonna stay in this relationship in hopes that they're gonna change their mind? And then 10 years from now, they haven't changed their mind. 15 years from now, they haven't changed their mind. Now it's damn, I was really holding on to something that might never happen.

SPEAKER_01 11:31

Yeah.

ANTHONY 11:31

Now it hasn't happened. So now I've I don't want to say wasted, but for a lack of better terms, I've wasted the last 15 years of my life with this person. And now I have to live out the remainder of my life unfulfilled and most likely with resentment towards this person, when in actuality the resentment should be for myself or towards myself because I made that decision. They told me up front that they didn't want kids, but I held on to hope, saying, Well, maybe there's a possibility. Maybe they'll want to have kids in five years. Maybe they'll look at me in a different light, maybe they'll see something in me in a different light in seven years and say, Oh yeah, let's have kids.

SPEAKER_01 12:15

Yeah, that's that was actually my my next question is obviously, you know, who ends up resenting who in the long run. And I think you've already said it, where, you know, you end up resenting, you know, the relationship in yourself and your partner for holding on to this hope that, oh, maybe they'll change or maybe they'll change their mind when at the time you guys discussed about it, they said at face value, hey, I'm never gonna change my mind. You know, I don't ever want kids. Yes, people change, but if you if you want kids, let's say in two years, and this person says, I don't see myself having kids in two years, that's already an indicator for you that, okay, you know what, they're not at the same place as me. I need to find somebody else who's at the same place as me.

ANTHONY 13:04

And I want to say with that example, that's a really good indicator. Like when there's a timestamp on it, like for me, let's say I I wanted kids in this situation, and it was like, I want to have kids in two years. And if you think about it, the time to make that baby is nine months.

SPEAKER_01 13:21

Yeah.

ANTHONY 13:21

So that actually reduces it down to 11 months. Yeah. You have to reduce that those that two years down to 11 months, right? Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 13:30

And I will it's about it's nine months to have kids. Right.

ANTHONY 13:35

But uh but I mean the time frame. So two years is 24 months minus nine. Okay, so 15 months.

SPEAKER_01 13:42

Yeah.

ANTHONY 13:43

Right.

SPEAKER_01 13:44

I don't know. I'm not thinking about math right now.

ANTHONY 13:47

Yeah, I'm math, I'm mathematizing.

SPEAKER_01 13:49

Yeah.

ANTHONY 13:49

I'm just saying, like, if you're expecting to have a kid within two years, you have to deduct off the nine months to make that baby.

SPEAKER_01 13:56

Yeah.

ANTHONY 13:56

That's your actual time frame that you have with that person. And if they're telling you, nope, I'm I do not want a kid in the next two years.

Variables, Adoption, And Timing

SPEAKER_01 14:05

And there's so many different nuances to that too. Because there's a thing of, let's say if you try, right? It's not a guarantee that you're going to get pregnant within two years either. Like, you know, peep there's a lot of things to consider. But I'm just saying that if the person, like when you because having kids is a very serious step. It is a very serious step, and it's a very serious choice because it could it involves a lot of commitment. It was involves a lot of responsibility. And if this person isn't even ready to have kids with you, it shows you the level of responsibility and commitment they're willing to put into it when they themselves don't even want it. So again, you're gonna have to ask yourself, is this person at the same level as where I'm at? Because that's where you kind of start to draw boundaries, guys. That's where you start to create boundaries for yourself where you're like, okay, if this man doesn't want kids in two years and I want kids in two years, and including all the little nuances in the middle of trying to get pregnant, you know, like a lot of those other stuff where let's say if you have like PCOS or you know, you're you're a much you're a much elder woman, you know, unfortunately women does have a time clock, but I've seen miracles, but I'm just saying that like of all those things realistically, if the person you are with right now, if whatever they want doesn't align with what you want, you have to think about that too and put yourself first and say, okay, you know what? If life or death comes right now and I know that I want two a kid in two years, and this man or this woman isn't willing to commit to that, I gotta go to the time to peace out. Yeah, I gotta go.

ANTHONY 15:46

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 15:47

All right. So then my next question is with this situation, do you think that you, as a person who wants kids, should walk away? Or do you think that the person who said that they don't want kids should be the one walking away from this relationship?

ANTHONY 16:05

Well, I think that I, as the person wanting kids, would the responsibility would fall to me, right? Because the person who knows that they don't want kids, they know what they want, they're happy in the relationship. They're not the one being deprived of something that they want.

SPEAKER_01 16:22

Yeah.

ANTHONY 16:23

So it's really gonna fall to me to be like, okay, I want kids. There's zero percent of me that sees a future of my life without kids.

SPEAKER_01 16:35

Yeah.

ANTHONY 16:35

Then it's gonna fall to me to be like, I can't do this anymore. We have to end this.

SPEAKER_01 16:41

Okay. Yeah, I agree to that too. Because, like you said, the person who doesn't want kids, they're not losing anything, really.

ANTHONY 17:42

Right.

SPEAKER_01 17:42

Because they're satisfied where they're at, where they're at. And you're the one who's satisfied in the relationship. Right. You're the one who's wanting the specific thing. So if you're not pretty much getting what you're asked for, or if it's something that you want, clearly it is, then you need to make that change for yourself. You need to shift yourself to where it'll help you reach that goal, or it'll help you potentially go towards what you want. So I agree. Yeah.

unknown 18:10

Yeah.

ANTHONY 18:10

I mean, you put yours put yourself, put it in a perspective of I'm trying to think of like what how to say this. I don't know. I don't know. It's it's just it's gonna be your responsibility. It's gonna be the responsibility of whoever the person who is being deprived of something.

SPEAKER_01 18:26

Yeah.

ANTHONY 18:27

And again, like we like I said earlier earlier, you shouldn't stay in a relationship holding out for something that you don't know whether or not it will or won't happen.

SPEAKER_01 18:36

Okay. Interesting. All right. My next question is then, is ending things now then more loving than dragging it out? Which I feel like it's kind of similar to my previous question, but not really.

ANTHONY 18:49

I do feel like it is better than dragging it out. I mean, what what do you get out of dragging it out that's gonna make the breakup that much more difficult, right? I mean, seriously though, like what do you get out of it if you're not going to if neither one of you are happy or if you're not happy or being fulfilled by it, why would you stay in that relationship? What about you? What are your thoughts?

SPEAKER_01 19:15

I agree. I think I don't know. I just feel like whether or not you, you know, deep whatever age or whatever where you're at, I don't know why this is such a big thing for me right now in my head, but time doesn't wait. Like you could wait for 10 years and hope that this person's gonna want kids and it'll never come. Or, you know, you can can wish that, okay, you know what, maybe he'll change his mind. Like the way you see them, I don't know, interacting with kids, and you're like, oh, you know what? He he will have that potential. He'll have the potential to have kids, but if he's not gonna want it, or if they're not gonna want it, why are you wasting your time? If it's something that you truly want.

ANTHONY 19:58

Exactly. And to that, I just want to say, if, okay, you you made the good example of like, oh, you see him with like kids. Okay, well, my question to that, my rebuttal to that is like, what do you think he's going to do? You think he's just gonna fucking kick a kid in the ass and be like, get the fuck out of my way? Like, you just can't do that. Like as much as I would love to like kick a kid out of my fucking way from time to time. From time to time, yeah. You don't do that. It's just societal norms is a front.

When To Walk Away

SPEAKER_01 20:29

You like you know, yeah.

ANTHONY 20:31

Well, that's what I'm saying is like it is a front because it's just a societal norm. You you be playful, you be nice with children. Like I can't just go around calling kids little fucking assholes as much as I'd like to.

SPEAKER_01 20:43

I mean, you can, but it's gonna come back and bite you in the ass.

ANTHONY 20:47

It will, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 20:48

So Okay, now a little bit out of a drum row. I got a twist. Okay. So a few days later, they casually mentioned that they've already taken st steps to make sure that it never happens. Not recently, but before you even met. And it wasn't undecided, but it was actually planned. So, for example, let's say you talk about the situation and they're you know, they've decided that they don't want kids and they've either gotten like a vasectomy or like their tubes tied or whatever. What would you do in that? Situation then.

ANTHONY 21:25

Okay, well I have a follow-up question to that. Okay, okay was this procedure, let's say hysterectomy or vasectomy.

SPEAKER_01 21:33

Yeah.

ANTHONY 21:33

Was this during our relationship? No. Prior.

SPEAKER_01 21:37

This was before. So it was before they even met you, but they said, I didn't hide it, you just never asked me. But they didn't bring it up up until now. What did you do?

ANTHONY 21:48

Okay, so first of all, the relationship would be over.

SPEAKER_01 21:51

Okay.

ANTHONY 21:51

Because don't don't play the card well, you never asked me, especially if kids have been discussed.

SPEAKER_01 21:56

Yeah.

ANTHONY 21:57

Like, okay, kids have been discussed, maybe not in depth, but like the inkling that I wanted kids was there. Mm-hmm. And you neglected to be like, oh, I had a hysterectomy. Vasectomies. Vasectomies, I think for women, I think there sh is the potential for a little bit more leniency because some vasectomies can be reversed.

SPEAKER_01 22:21

Yeah.

ANTHONY 22:21

So that's something to take into consideration when you're a woman and you're in that situation. But I mean a hysterectomy, you're done. Like there's no option. There's no going back.

SPEAKER_01 22:34

Well, not yet. We're not in the future yet, so it can't happen yet.

ANTHONY 22:37

Well, yeah, yeah, you got me there.

SPEAKER_01 22:40

You got me there, bitch.

ANTHONY 22:43

Yeah, I think if it was a permanent procedure like that, that was done prior to and that the discussion was never or that that it was never addressed when there was droppings, inklings, discussions surrounding children, or the fact that there was the notion specifically mentioned that I wanted children.

SPEAKER_01 23:00

Yeah.

ANTHONY 23:01

That I mean, that would be a deal breaker for me because it's like, well, what were you waiting for? Yeah. Were you waiting for us to sit down and have a face-to-face for four hours and have a conversation about specifically wanting children and where this relationship was going before you were going to be like, oh, I had a hysterectomy and can't have kids.

SPEAKER_01 23:18

Yeah. For sure. I feel like it's not even a compatibility issue at this point. It's a transparency issue.

ANTHONY 23:25

Like a hundred percent.

SPEAKER_01 23:27

I feel like like maybe in like young adult relationships, I don't know, having kids doesn't really matter. But as an adult now, I feel like that's shit that you should be telling me, I don't know, within the first like three months, if anything, if it's like kind of serious. Or maybe six months, yeah. But you know what I mean? And if you're if you're not telling me these kind of things, because I feel like that's kind of important. I mean, it's not kind of, it's really important to know those kind of things. You know, it's yeah, like that's that's pretty messed up. Okay. So follow-up question on that. Does planning your future without kids make it worse than than just not wanting kids? So, like, for example, this in this exact situation, again, they they they hid it from you. They didn't tell you, because obviously if you want kids, I'm sure the conversation has come up before, or they've probably like dropped clinting. Yeah, they clues dropped clint. Or they like dropped clues or they hinted at you, like, hey, what do you think about having one? You know, what do you think about having one or whatever, you know? Is it worse knowing that they've already done all of this and they didn't tell you? Or is it worse for them to just say, hey, like, I don't want kids?

ANTHONY 24:51

And when you say all of this, you mean like if they had like a hysterectomy or something?

SPEAKER_01 24:55

Yeah, yeah.

Responsibility And Resentment

ANTHONY 24:56

I think it's worse for them to lead with, I've already had a hysterectomy, or I've had an irreversible vasectomy.

SPEAKER_01 25:02

Yeah.

ANTHONY 25:03

I think that that's worse, especially because they weren't transparent in the two years of our relationship.

SPEAKER_01 25:09

Yeah, I'm in agreement to that.

ANTHONY 25:11

Like, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 25:12

I'm in agreement to that. Again, it's something really important because it this is it aligns with your future with each other. Like if you don't, if you don't see the same thing, don't fucking pretend or like don't hide things, don't lie about it. Like if you don't want kids, straight up be like, by the way, I don't want kids. The moment you see, as the thing is I've learned that as hard as the truth is, don't fucking lie. It makes things worse. It really does, you know? Even if it hurts, at least it's the truth. And you're you're stopping yourself from making something worse. You know what I mean? Because let's say if this person didn't tell me that, you know, they didn't want kids, and I was like, okay, you know what, that's fine. Like maybe they'll change, maybe they'll change. But this whole time they've had this procedure to permanently like stop them from doing that. And then 10 years down the line, I've spent 10 years with this person, and then they're like, and let's just say you've been, you guys have like been trying to have kids or whatever. And then he's just like, you know what? There's a reason I can't hold it in anymore. I've been holding on to this thing, but you know, I know we've been trying. But the thing is, is that I got this procedure, and we ain't gonna ever have kids. How devastating is that?

ANTHONY 27:31

That's horrible.

SPEAKER_01 27:32

Yeah. It's it's crazy. Yeah.

ANTHONY 27:36

Shame on that person.

SPEAKER_01 27:38

Yeah. Think about how devastating that would be to somebody. Like, that's fucked up.

ANTHONY 27:43

Well, what I was saying was shame on that person because even if there's been the clues and the hints dropped, and throughout the two years of the relationship, they're like, I don't want kids. Fuck you. You shouldn't have been saying, I don't want kids. You should have been saying, I don't want kids. I also can't have kids. Or I just I can't have kids.

SPEAKER_01 28:01

And you guys, that's manipulation. Like if you 100% that is manipulation. Yeah, if you've known this whole time that I want kids, I've already had this thing done. And time and time again, like this person you're with has hinted to you that they wanted kids. You guys have talked about it, but you continue to deceive the situation, bitch. That's fucking manipulation. Like, that's that's evil. That's what that is. That's evil.

ANTHONY 28:30

That really is. Because then you're like stringing them on.

SPEAKER_01 28:33

Yeah, you're practically using that person.

ANTHONY 28:36

Like, obviously, within like the first two years of your relationship, like I feel like a person, you're still in that like lovey phase. You know, so it's like, okay, we've been together eight months. They say I don't want kids. We're not really anything serious right now. Yeah. But we're getting serious. I feel like anybody would still be holding out, like, okay, well, they said they don't want kids, but I mean, we're still we're only 23, you know?

SPEAKER_01 29:04

Yeah.

ANTHONY 29:05

There's still time, obviously. Like, what 23-year-old is like, I want a kid? What 20-year-old is like, I want a kid. You're still young, you're still dumb, you still have time.

SPEAKER_01 29:14

But still, don't lie.

ANTHONY 29:16

Yeah, don't lie. Don't lie about it, especially if it's already if you've already had that irreversible procedure done, there's no reason to lie about it unless you're planning on gaslighting and fucking over a person. Yeah. Yeah, manipulating.

SPEAKER_01 29:31

Yep. Yep. But all right, well, that is all that I had. But overall, let's just say for the first portion, as far as your partner want not wanting kids and you wanting kids, what is your final say on that?

Ending Sooner Versus Dragging It Out

ANTHONY 29:49

Now that we've discussed it all, ran through various scenarios. I think after two years of relationship, two-year relationship, if my partner was saying that they don't want kids, I really need to evaluate how strong I want kids. And if there is no part of me that sees a future without kids, I need to end the relationship.

SPEAKER_01 30:13

Okay.

ANTHONY 30:14

And I need to hold myself accountable and responsible in the event that I'm like, okay, there's 10% of me that I can see myself without kids. 90% I want kids. And if I choose to stay in that relationship, and like I said, 10 years down the road, there's still no kids and there's no inkling for kids, I can't hold resentment towards my partner because I made that decision to stay in this relationship in the hopes of them changing their ways.

SPEAKER_01 30:42

Okay. Yeah, I am in agreement to that in the the first portion of if you know that do a die, you cannot live without not being a parent or not having kids. I'd say it's time for you to kind of reflect on your relationship, reflect on what you want. And if it's still, no, I want k I want to be a mom, I want to be a dad, like at the end of the day, you want to build a house with kids, really evaluate your situation. It's gonna sound really like not mean, but I don't know, maybe cynical. I don't know. But sometimes love isn't enough. You have to think about yourself. You have to think about what you want. And if your goals don't align with each other, you need to re-evaluate your situation.

ANTHONY 31:33

Yes, a hundred percent agree with that.

SPEAKER_01 31:36

Okay.

ANTHONY 31:36

Um I do have one question for you.

SPEAKER_01 31:39

Okay.

ANTHONY 31:39

I know this is Nolly's hypothetical hotline, but yeah, I follow-up questions. So what if where do you stand on if you end that two-year relationship because your partner doesn't want kids and you do?

SPEAKER_01 31:54

Okay.

ANTHONY 31:55

And two years after you break up, you bump into them at the park with your kid and your new spouse, and they're there with their kid.

SPEAKER_01 32:08

Damn, that's that's a good question. No, that's a good question. For me, I'm I'm okay with that. Maybe, you know, maybe they weren't in the headspace for that. They weren't in the they weren't ready to commit. And why why would I be bothered when I have my own husband, my own kids too? Like I think ultimately, yes, it would sting a little bit. I'd be like, wow, like you, you're willing to actually have kids. But I think what people have to understand is sometimes in certain stages of your life and the people you're with, they're not capable of what you expect of them. They're not capable of what you want out of them. And I think that's what makes or what gets people stuck in a lot of relationships where they're staying hoping and praying that this person is gonna change or this person is gonna eventually meet where you guys meet in the middle where you're at. But you know, I don't know. Maybe somewhere along the way he met the person for him and he met his person, and it he was just like, hey, you know what? I I want kids with this person. But maybe it wasn't with me. But look, look what I have. Look what look what I've done. You know, like I I I've built something that, you know, I want with this other person, and it's kind of hard to compare situations. However, my main answer to your question is yes, it hurts, like at first glance, but at the same time, I ain't even pressed about it. Because look, I got kids, I got a wonderful husband who loves me, you know, and at that point, you just have to realize that, hey, you know what? Maybe at that time when I really wanted kids with him, he wasn't capable to meet me in the middle, and that's okay.

The Twist: Irreversible Procedures

ANTHONY 33:51

Okay, so let's spice this up because you're being very happy about the fact that you have your husband and your own kid. So let's say you run you break up, you run into them a year later.

SPEAKER_01 34:03

Okay.

ANTHONY 34:03

A year, one year, 12 months, you run into them at three months.

SPEAKER_01 34:09

So technically, if you think about it, it takes nine months to have a child. And if I've seen them in three months, then I'd be like, Again, it would hurt, but I'd be like, Well, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.

ANTHONY 34:24

So it's one year since you broke up, you run into them at Walmart with their kid.

SPEAKER_01 34:29

Okay.

ANTHONY 34:30

You're single with no family.

SPEAKER_01 34:33

Of course I would be hurt. Of course. Who would not be hurt about that? But you would just be hurt? I yeah, I would be hurt. I would be angry. I would be devastated. But I yeah, I would be pissed. But the thing is, again, it comes, I think when that scenario comes, people reflect a lot on their self-worth. Like, what why wasn't I enough? Or, you know, why couldn't he do that with me? Or, you know, wow, it took him three months to get this person pregnant. But at the same time, it's that thing of you're not in that scenario though. What if they fucked and he didn't have a good pollout game and he got her pregnant and he's stuck with her because she's pregnant now? You know, like there's there's a lot of things that goes into that situation. Or let's just say that, like, I don't know. Again, it was an accident and now he's just kind of stuck in that situation. But what if they have kids and the relationship is fucking miserable? Like, really, is that that what you want though? Because it's a reflection of you in that situation where you know you have to think that, oh, okay, because in my in my books, it'll be a fucking miracle or a fucking front that you you were with me for two years, you broke up with me, had a child, you told me nonstop, you don't want no kids, you don't see your future, and then bam, three months from now or a year from now, you have you have a baby. It took you three months to all of a sudden change your mind. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. That that's not realistic.

ANTHONY 36:06

That's where ghetto Nolly is gonna come out and lay the smack down.

SPEAKER_01 36:10

Nabu. No, but that's what I'm saying is that you can't change somebody into who you want them to be. That's why it's your responsibility to find a person who their goals, their like accomplishments aligns with yours. And that's the thing, is that it is very difficult. Oh my God, like the dating pool right now is fucking, I don't know. I'm, you know, but I'm just saying that like you, that's where you have the freedom to set your own boundaries because yes, at a glimpse, okay, they seem like a happy family. You know, yeah, they have a kid, something I've always wanted. But I truly believe that, again, your person is running to you right now. You just haven't met them yet, and they're gonna come into your life at the right time. Things are gonna align for you, and you're not gonna even be sweating the fact that you are upset or you were angry at that person. Because the thing is, again, you're right. They could be in a miserable ass relationship. They could just be fronting it again, three months of having a child with somebody else, and then I see you a year from now, you have not changed. Like, you're probably fucking miserable. I'm just saying. You know what I mean? Like, there could be some things, or maybe you're really happy and you found your person. Great. I love that for you.

ANTHONY 37:27

And maybe there's no way I'm just gonna call bullshit on that.

SPEAKER_01 37:31

Yeah, but I'm just saying that, yeah, maybe I wasn't good enough for you and you, but you found somebody better for you. You know? So you do you boo.

ANTHONY 37:41

You do you boo.

SPEAKER_01 37:42

Yeah. And you know what? If you're single and if I was single and I saw that, I would be like, okay, good luck. You know what I mean? Like, I don't know. And maybe I feel I I sound really bitter or whatever, but I'm just saying that like That's karma is what that is. Yeah, your person's coming to you, you guys. If you feel like whoever you're with and there's things that don't align, that is God's, and oh my God, I'm gonna get all God and preaching stuff, but it's a sign from the universe that things aren't aligning. It's a sign from the universe that, hey, this one isn't for you. It's a sign from the universe that it's okay. Let them do their thing, your fulfillment, your joy, your happiness. It's on its way. You just have to be patient because, man, think about how happy you'd be when you find the person who wants to have that kid with you, who wants to build that future with you, who wants everything that you want. Think of think about that. Like, and yes, I'm gonna sound like a hopeless romantic, but trust me, it's coming.

ANTHONY 38:49

Yeah, I know. I I agree. Got him.

Transparency, Manipulation, And Trust

SPEAKER_01 38:51

I felt like I was given a speech about that. Yeah. Say you're praise Jesus. Say amen. But yeah.

ANTHONY 39:02

Okay. Well, that was a good one.

SPEAKER_01 39:05

That was a good hypothetical.

ANTHONY 39:06

I thought I'd throw you a curveball.

SPEAKER_01 39:07

Yeah, no, I love that. But I hope that you liked this situation or this scenario. You definitely had your your something was.

ANTHONY 39:16

My thinking cap was on for sure. That one definitely made my wheels turn a little bit.

SPEAKER_01 39:22

Yeah, but yeah. What are, you know, listeners, what are your thoughts? Where are you guys at? You know, do you agree, disagree? Say it with your chest. You know, we all have different opinions, we all have different sides. How did you guys like the scenario? If you guys have a hypothetical one, send it our way.

ANTHONY 39:43

Yes, please. I do not. I think that this was a really good thought-provoking starter for your new segment.

SPEAKER_01 39:53

That's what's up. That's what's up.

ANTHONY 39:55

That's what's up.

SPEAKER_01 39:56

All right. Well, again, thank you, listeners, for tuning in, or I don't know, should I say viewers? I almost said lookers. Viewers. But I meant viewers. Lookers.

ANTHONY 40:07

Look at that looker okay.

SPEAKER_01 40:10

But yeah, thank you for tuning in again, Nali's hypothetical hotline. It will be on every other Wednesday when we do not have a full episode out. Yes. So I hope you guys look forward to it. I hope you guys like it. It's something we're trying out. Again, we're trying out, we're still kind of getting in the flow of things. Again, happy 2026. We are off to a good start, guys. Stay positive, and I hope y'all have a fucking amazing day.

ANTHONY 40:43

Bye. Bye.