🎙️Declutter Your Digital Life: Boundaries, Doomscrolling & Social Media Sanity (AUDIO ONLY)🎙️

Your phone hasn’t stopped buzzing, the group chat is on message #247, and somehow a “quick scroll” turned into emotional exhaustion. This isn’t digital wellness wrapped in a beige aesthetic — this is overstimulation, weak boundaries, unread messages screaming for attention, and the quiet burnout that comes from being reachable at all times.

In this algorithm-fried episode of Twin Tangents, Anthony and Nalee unpack what it means to live chronically online and emotionally available. From work messages bleeding into personal time, to social media turning every thought into content, to the anxiety spiral caused by one unexpected text, this episode dissects the invisible labor of modern communication — and why protecting your peace now requires intention, strategy, and the courage to hit mute.

We’re diving into:
 📱 Digital Clutter & Boundary Burnout → when constant notifications, group chats, and “just checking in” texts quietly drain your emotional battery
 🧠 Scroll Fatigue & Fake Productivity → why doom scrolling feels busy but leaves you exhausted and empty
 💬 Group Chat Exhaustion → unread messages, social obligation anxiety, and the pressure to always respond “correctly”
 🛋️ Therapy, TikTok Experts & Credi

⚠️ Twin Tangents: Because Therapy Was Booked ⚠️
 Unfiltered. Unapologetic. Unhinged (just a bit).

Hosted by Nalee & Anthony—this is your safe, spicy space to spiral. Expect adult content, hot takes, and high-functioning chaos.

And yes, we call our listeners H.O.E.S.
 (Hilarious. Over it. Emotionally unstable. Spicy.)
 It’s not an insult. It’s a hoe-mmunity.

What if we did choose chaos… but thoughtfully?

Nalee’s Hypothetical Hotline delivers advice that’s 70% emotionally intelligent, 20% petty, and 10% “please don’t actually do this.” Send in your hypotheticals that are absolutely not hypotheticals, and we’ll help you navigate your main-character energy with just enough restraint.

Growth. With seasoning.

This isn’t therapy. This isn’t mediation. This is Twin Tangents Court.

Where group chat screenshots become evidence, red flags are entered into the record, and absolutely no one leaves unjudged. From dating disasters to roommate crimes to petty indictments, we bring the gavel down with dramatic precision.

New cases drop every other Friday at 8 AM Central. Bring your receipts. Prepare for sentencing.

A playful, no-nonsense reminder from Anthony and Nalee to hit that follow button, leave a review, and share the pod with your favorite chaotic friend. Set over a snappy, upbeat jingle, this mid-roll blends humor and honesty to encourage listener support—because subscribing helps fuel the tangents, rants, and revelations you didn’t know you needed.

Just when you thought the chaos was over—Anthony and Nalee invite you to keep the tangents going. With a soft outro vibe and one last wink to the listener, this post-roll points you toward the Twin Tangents website and socials for more unfiltered content. Because if you’re still here, you clearly get it… and we love that for you.

🎙️ Stay connected with Twin Tangents Because Therapy Was Booked
Unfiltered. Unexpected. Unbothered.

🌐 Website: www.twintangentspodcast.com
All our socials, episodes, and contact info live here.

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💌 Got thoughts, tangents, or just need to vent? Reach out via our site or socials. We’re all ears.

Transcript

Welcome, Vibe Check, And Topic Setup

SPEAKER_00 0:33

Quick explain. When we say hose, we mean it with nothing but love. It's our term of endearment to each other, our group cat, and now all of you. If you vibe with us, you're one of our hosts. And we mean that in the most affectionate, chaotic, supportive way possible. No offense ever. It's full-on friendship energy. So welcome to the whole family.

NALEE 1:20

We good?

ANTHONY 1:21

I think so. Are we good?

NALEE 1:23

I think we're good. All right.

ANTHONY 1:24

Are we going?

NALEE 1:25

We're going. All right. So be honest. When was the last time you went on your phone for one thing and came back 45 minutes later emotionally exhausted?

ANTHONY 1:37

No. Because how did I open Instagram to check one message and somehow end up spiraling about productivity, skincare, and someone I went to high school with?

NALEE 1:48

Exactly. Today's episode is for people who swear their phone helps them relax, but somehow feel way worse every time they put it down.

ANTHONY 1:57

Every single fucking time. We're talking about digital clutter today. Weak boundaries, doom scrolling, like it's a sport, and how to get your sanity back without deleting everything and moving to the woods.

NALEE 2:12

This is Twin Tangents season two, baby. Season two. Alright, so let's declutter your digital life because your piece deserves better, boo.

SPEAKER_02 2:23

Amen.

NALEE 2:23

Okay, so our first segment is your phone is lying to you.

ANTHONY 2:28

Alright. Hot take to start us off.

Screen Time Reality And “Productive” Phone Use

NALEE 2:30

If your phone says screen time is not that bad, it's fucking lying, ho. It's lying.

ANTHONY 2:37

It is lying. And what is not that bad? Do you do you get that little notification at the end of every week that says what your screen time is? Because I think you can't.

NALEE 2:46

No, I don't.

ANTHONY 2:47

Okay. I get that every Sunday and it makes me regret my life. Does it? Yeah.

NALEE 2:53

How long do you what's the longest time you spent like on your phone?

ANTHONY 2:57

Oh my god, the longest time? I think I remember one time I averaged it was like eight or nine hours a day.

NALEE 3:05

A day?

ANTHONY 3:06

Yeah.

NALEE 3:07

Damn. Like average. Do you even work?

ANTHONY 3:10

Apparently not. Okay, I okay. Confession time. Part of that though is that I do use my phone at work. To do like sometimes I and just like I'll use Chat GPT to like help me like draft up emails or that's what they got copilot for, boo. How to word things.

NALEE 3:31

Do you not use copilot?

ANTHONY 3:33

I don't use co-pilot.

NALEE 3:35

What you doing?

ANTHONY 3:36

I don't know. I've been sleeping on it, I guess.

NALEE 3:39

Yeah, use co-pilot. I mean, secret's out now, but co-pilot is probably pretty head on with Chat GPT.

ANTHONY 3:47

But And that's Microsoft. That's a Microsoft product, right? Copilot?

NALEE 3:51

I think so, yeah. Cause it's on Teams.

ANTHONY 3:53

Yeah.

NALEE 3:54

It's on Teams, yeah. So Okay.

SPEAKER_02 3:56

Okay.

NALEE 3:57

Well, what did you Well, my first topic is why everyone subtly thinks that they're an online therapist. Ding ding ding. You got us right here.

ANTHONY 4:07

It came to the right place, right here.

NALEE 4:10

What's your opinion on that? Like, why do you think everybody's so uh quote unquote like an online therapist and stuff like that? I mean, granted, I kind of love it though. Like I like I like how mainstream it is now. Like, you know, we do talk a lot about therapy and it's helped us a lot, but I like how mainstream it is. And honestly, like I'm still learning a lot, a lot of things.

ANTHONY 4:35

So same. Why do I think everyone I think it's just a matter of like we've we've said in the past, is like everybody has an opinion. So everybody has something to offer to say to something.

SPEAKER_07 4:52

Yeah.

ANTHONY 4:53

In regards to various situations and scenarios. I think it's about allowing people to be heard and to be, I don't want to say seen because that's really not the right word, but for a lack of better words, yes. Allowing people to be seen and and to share their opinions on various topics and things. And it's one of those things where it's like everybody is gonna have an opinion and you gotta find one that like resonates with you and like everybody's gonna have a different view on things, right?

SPEAKER_07 5:27

Yeah, yeah.

ANTHONY 5:28

So I think that's why everybody's suddenly thinking that they're a therapist. And I wouldn't even say that they're necessarily thinking that they're a therapist or that they're going into it doing that, but I think a lot of people, especially like scrolling through TikTok, you see people who are always commenting on things. And I think I think it's just a matter of wanting to share their opinion and share their views and see who it resonates with. What about you?

NALEE 5:53

I already said my piece. I feel like I love I love it because one, I feel like obviously I've like I've said before, even if it's not about therapy, it's like the life coaching or fitness gurus and stuff like that. It definitely has that like content creator vibe to it. And my only thing is I don't know how credible everybody is, because you know, you could scroll through like videos and there could be 10 different people that you've watched that so-called claims themselves as a therapist. And I'm probably I feel like a hypocrite right now because I'm a self-diagnosed therapist. But and I'm not certified, but I uh I put that disclaimer out there. But I'm what I'm saying is like people who do say that, oh, like I'm a I'm a life coach or I'm a certified child therapist or whatever, you know, like they say those credentials, but my question most of the time is are you actually though? You know what I mean? Because there's so many of them.

ANTHONY 6:58

Yes. But especially on social media.

NALEE 7:01

Yeah, but at the same time, if they are all credible, that's amazing. Like, I think it's amazing how again, how how big mental health has become within our society.

Online Therapists, Credibility, And Real Help

ANTHONY 7:13

I mean, granted, I feel like there could be more exposure, but I think there needs to be more exposure, and I think that we're going down a path that we will at some point have that. Yeah, but I'm just happy the fact that we're like breaking this the stigma around mental health and therapy. But one thing that I do want to say about therapy and going back to your, you know, people creating TikTok accounts or Facebook pages, and they're saying, Anthony, licensed therapist, whatever, blah, blah, blah, blah, and putting all those initials after their name. Okay, so the first thing is you're right. Like, you don't know how many of those are legitimate. I remember seeing something somewhere where there were there were talks about making it that if you're going to advertise on like TikTok, you know, TikTok's the biggest one right now, where people are going on there, they're making videos on content and they're offering advice or they're showing how to, you know, unplug your drain or do all these like technical type jobs or even like the mental health thing. But they were talking about making it so that people actually had to prove that they are certified to be providing the information that they're providing on their social media account, which I think is an amazing idea because you have people out there that are literally just finding out what the initials are for a licensed clinical psychologist or therapist, and they're slapping those initials after their name. And let's be honest, nobody in this world does the research anymore to like verify.

NALEE 8:52

I could be Nolly MDA. You know what I mean? Like, what does that even mean?

ANTHONY 8:55

People are gonna see it and be like, she's a real doctor. And she's saying to use this aquaphor lip treatment because she's a dermatologist. Like, yeah. No, I think that there needs to be some sort of proof for the credentials and some sort of verification system. You know, all these social media platforms have gotten really big with the whole like blue check mark to prove that you're verifying.

NALEE 9:15

Yeah, like the verified, yeah, yeah, yeah.

ANTHONY 9:17

That's bullshit. We can go on right now on Facebook and pay how much ever a month to put a blue fucking check mark by our name. That doesn't mean shit. So that was the first thing that I wanted to say. And the second thing that I wanted to say on that note is I think that with everybody being on social media and being able to offer their opinions, opinions, and insight, I think that that's a great thing just because it allows different views and different perspectives.

SPEAKER_07 9:47

Yeah, for sure.

ANTHONY 9:49

And actually I lied, there's one more thing that I wanted to say.

SPEAKER_07 9:52

Okay.

ANTHONY 9:53

One issue that I do have with actual like licensed therapists and going to an actual therapist. And I'm guilty of seeing a therapist as well. So I I pay for the treatment. I do all of that.

NALEE 10:07

Guilty as trying to do that.

ANTHONY 10:08

But honestly, what are we paying for? I get that they went to school, but it's like there really isn't that much difference. And that's, I mean, from my standpoint, I'm not going to speak for you, but as far as our podcast, Twin Tangents Because Therapy was booked.

SPEAKER_07 11:16

Yeah.

ANTHONY 11:17

There really is no difference going to a therapist once a week, twice a week, every other week, and discussing your problems versus getting together with your friends and going out for dinner and just having a night where you're having open communication. Like there really is no difference if you think about it, if you really get to the root of it, unless that's just me and that's my opinion.

NALEE 11:43

Well, my take that part is I think there's a couple of layers to it where, you know, it also depends on your therapist. Like if you have a good therapist and they are actually actively helping you or actively like trying to find ways for you to, you know, figure out what your shit is. I think that's good. And I don't know if that's the majority of it, but then at the same time, not everybody has amazing friends as we do. You know what I mean? Like, people could have superficial friends, or they could have people who aren't actually genuine, or you know, like a lot of people are very superficial right now. And I feel like that's the hard part. Like, you and I, we could obviously talk for hours on end about whatever the fuck. You know what I mean? But let's just say, like, other people may not have that. So it's very, it's very hard. And we're not like we're not bashing on therapists or anything. Because obviously therapy has helped us. Granted, therapy's booked, but you know, like we do, I think it really depends on your situation. I think it's not like all like one size fits all kind of a thing. You know what I mean?

ANTHONY 12:56

Yeah, and it I agree with you. It does depend on your situation, but I'm just throwing it out there for the people who don't have the financial means to actually go to therapy. If you have a good friend or somebody in your life that you can talk to, like, you can save the money. Just don't tell them that they're therapizing you. You know what I mean?

NALEE 13:14

I mean, y'all, we already, we've already put it out there. If you guys need somebody to talk to, hello.

ANTHONY 13:21

Yeah, we're here. You know how to get a hold of us.

NALEE 13:24

Yeah. Write us a DN, you know, message us on Instagram, Facebook, TikTok, um, Twitter. You could even write to us anonymously. I don't know if you can. Actually, I lied. But still, you could oh, you can. But you could write us an email. I don't know. Like, you know, if you're feeling very down in the dumps and, you know, you have nobody to go to. Hello. We're we're lent, Tony. The lamb.

ANTHONY 13:50

We're a click away. We're a message and a click away.

NALEE 13:53

And we're you guys already know. We're not gonna judge you.

ANTHONY 13:56

We may judge ourselves, but I'll judge people lovingly and playfully, nothing serious or sinister.

SPEAKER_07 14:06

But yeah.

ANTHONY 14:07

And I will say, as far as actual therapists go, w I was thinking about it while we were discussing this. One thing that they do have that does that is legit is they're gonna have obviously more access to more tools that people can use.

NALEE 14:23

I agree. Don't knock it till you try it. Anthony's in therapy, been in therapy. I've been in therapy, in therapy, you know, so And you can tell we're still fucked up. So Granted, whatever, you know, they ain't gonna fix everything. They can't, they can't take the fun out of us, they can't take the crazy out of us, but they can fix a couple of things, you know?

ANTHONY 14:44

Yeah, and I think that's where the whole thing was where was stemming from my comment about saying it's no different than like talking to friends. Like, you go to therapy, they're not fixing anything, they're providing you with the information and the tools to fix yourself. So it really is up to you to do that. And again, that's no different than having a friend. So, like when Nolly and I, when we have that conversation about whatever, you know, you're gonna offer me different things to think of, and it's no different.

unknown 15:18

Yeah.

ANTHONY 15:19

So everybody's a therapist.

NALEE 15:21

Yeah, the only good thing I would say is because Anthony and I have been friends for a long time, we bias as fuck. So, you know, I'm gonna be on his side, he's gonna be on my side, but I'm a therapist. I think so.

SPEAKER_02 15:34

I mean You think so?

NALEE 15:37

Granted, I don't know. I mean, there's been times where you're like, Nolly, really? Like, really, you dumb bitch, really?

Notifications, DND, And Dopamine Loops

ANTHONY 15:43

But see, that's a good friend, as a friend that's gonna give you a wake-up call.

NALEE 15:46

Exactly. But that's what I'm saying. Again, to my point, where not everybody has access to good friends. People are superficial a lot, you know? And that's the thing where I am blessed to have more than one actual genuine friend. You know, Anthony's obviously not my only friend. It may seem like it, but he ain't gonna be like, She's lying.

ANTHONY 16:07

She really doesn't have any other friends.

NALEE 16:10

But, you know, like granted, I don't know. I just feel like don't knock it again, don't knock it till you try it. I think therapy, a lot of people get scared of it because they feel like they're getting boxed into like a category, but that's not the case. And honestly, right now, I don't know what I'm talking about.

ANTHONY 16:27

So No, that's a really good point. I never thought of it like that. Like when you go to therapy, they do try to put you into certain categories.

NALEE 16:35

Yeah. And I guess people, what if you're crazy? Everybody's fucking crazy. Everybody who lives in Florida is crazy.

ANTHONY 16:42

It's the crazy ones that have the good pills.

NALEE 16:44

Yeah. So but what was your topic?

ANTHONY 16:48

Well, I just wanted to talk about being like productive on your phone and how you're still being glued to your phone. So that's like me and you how you were attacking me for my average screen time.

NALEE 17:00

Oh, I was attacking you.

ANTHONY 17:01

Yeah, you were attacking me.

NALEE 17:02

Your phone was the one that's attacking you, sir.

ANTHONY 17:04

My phone was attacking me, but you were supporting it.

NALEE 17:07

I was. We truly.

ANTHONY 17:08

And I just want to say, going back to that, my screen time has drastically reduced.

NALEE 17:13

Yeah, I love that. I know you've been working really hard on that too.

ANTHONY 17:16

So Yeah.

NALEE 17:17

Yeah. How are you?

ANTHONY 17:19

I think I've just been working on like right. So the problem with our phones is that we can do everything from them, right? So, like, I we check our email, we can surf the internet, we can do social media, text, call. And so all of that factors into screen usage and how much you're on your phone.

SPEAKER_07 17:41

Yeah.

ANTHONY 17:42

But I think it really is up to the person as far as like, what are you deeming actually being productive on your phone? Now, because now if I if I go in and I look at that average screen time for the week, am I spending on average nine hours a day playing fucking Candy Crush? Or am I spending three hours going through emails, replying to emails, two hours, you know, on the phone, and that could be talking to you, talking to my uncle, talking to family, talking business. So it really is a matter of like, what are we considering being productive?

NALEE 18:23

Yeah.

ANTHONY 18:23

I mean we can't we can't lie to ourselves because if we're spending nine hours a day at playing Candy Crush, and then you're gonna go to dinner with me and you're gonna be judging me? I've been so productive this week, and I've been doing like, come on.

NALEE 18:37

Well, I'm not here to judge because I probably have done that. Maybe not eight hours, but I mean I'd say maybe like an hour or two.

ANTHONY 18:45

But regardless of-occasionally that's fine.

NALEE 18:48

Yeah, I feel like regardless of that, I mean productive can mean a lot of things because sometimes people work on their phones. Right. You know, but I don't know if there is a like being productive on your phone and still being glued to your phone. I don't I don't know. That's kind of hard because you're always on your phone. We're always on our phones, yeah. So I don't know. I don't know. That's a good thing.

ANTHONY 19:13

I think we need we need to figure out where that line is that we can be productive without being on our phone.

NALEE 19:18

Lock your phone away. I don't know.

ANTHONY 19:20

Yeah.

NALEE 19:21

Yeah.

ANTHONY 19:21

I think that's where I'm at. I'm getting to the point where I'm getting ready to like lock my phone away.

NALEE 19:27

Have you no self-control, Anthony?

ANTHONY 19:29

I don't have self-control. I wouldn't even say that it's a matter of self-control. I do have a matter of I do have self-control. I just need to turn off my notifications.

NALEE 19:36

Yeah, that's what it is. For sure.

ANTHONY 19:39

That's my big thing because every single app on your phone wants to send you a notification.

NALEE 19:43

Yeah, oh, I hate that. Or like they want to they want you to track your phone or whatever the fuck. I don't know. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, also again, you've been really good at that though, because every time I see your phone, like it's like three o'clock and it says sends me a message. Anthony has put his phone on, do not disturb or whatever.

ANTHONY 20:01

Do you get that message?

NALEE 20:03

Yeah.

ANTHONY 20:04

Oh my gosh, I thought I turned that off because I didn't want people to know.

NALEE 20:07

No.

ANTHONY 20:08

Okay.

NALEE 20:09

I feel like every time that happens, I'm just like, this rude ass bitch, he just texted me two minutes ago. He gonna block me. It's okay. You still respond every time, so it's fine.

ANTHONY 20:21

Um See, because it's glued to my hand.

NALEE 20:24

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like you're saying, you're I think you said to me the other day, a couple weeks ago, I was like, hey, I know you put your phone on, do not disturb me. And you're like, Well, yeah, but I was still touching my phone. So I don't know.

ANTHONY 20:37

Yeah, I think that's just me trying to like stop the notifications.

NALEE 20:40

Yeah.

ANTHONY 20:41

I've been meaning to literally like go through my phone and like turn off all the notifications that I don't need.

NALEE 20:47

Yeah.

Why Scrolling Feels Like Rest But Drains You

ANTHONY 20:47

Um, and like just for example, like I'm looking at my notifications right now. I have, oh my god, I can't even tell you how many notifications. And like some of these things are things that like I don't even give a shit about. Like, why am I getting why am I getting a notification from Timu? I haven't shopped on Timu or been on the app in over a year.

NALEE 21:06

That's crazy.

ANTHONY 21:07

Sheen?

NALEE 21:08

I love Sheen.

ANTHONY 21:09

Why am I getting why am I getting stuck from them?

SPEAKER_02 21:12

That's just too many notifications. It's just that's my pair of pennies.

NALEE 21:18

This is totally side tangent, completely off topic, but it just reminded me of this. Yeah. Okay, so it's a story. That I wanted to tell you guys, which is kind of weird, and knowing me, I'm kind of weird, whatever. But I thought I'd share this story. Anthony is my witness. Oh God.

SPEAKER_02 21:35

Oh shit.

NALEE 21:36

So the other day I got like, I don't know, it was kind of weird, but I got like a weird message, like from a number that I didn't know.

SPEAKER_02 21:44

Oh, a text message.

NALEE 21:45

Yes, I got a text message from a number that I didn't know. It definitely unfolded. I didn't tell you yet, but I'm gonna share with you. So I was coming from Anthony's house after we recorded, and then I got this text from like this random number that I don't I don't fucking know. And so they said, Hey, do you want to go and have steak? And I'm like, sure, but who is this? You know? And so then I kind of made a joke out of it because I do that sometimes. Like when random numbers text me or like when they ask me a question, I'd be like, Okay, sure, but who's who this be? Who is this? You know? And so then, who this? Yeah, exactly. So then she was she or the person responded, well, it's a girl, but she responded, she's like, Oh, I'm so sorry, but is this Julia or whatever I think she said the other person was? I'm like, no, ma'am, this is not Julia. And then I just said, Oh, lol, wrong number. And then I just said, Well, anyways, have a good day. And so then, long story short, we ended up like texting each other for like two, almost three hours. And so then I found out I don't know where the text message is at. I'll have to look it up, but I found out that she was like a photographer or like celebrity person. In LA. Probably, it's probably fake. I don't fucking know. But she was really, really nice. But she's she was originally from Canada and she was in LA for work, and so then she was like sending me messages back and forth, and I was like, Oh, she's really, really cool. And then she was asking me about my name and stuff like that, and then I was just like, oh, okay.

ANTHONY 23:20

And so then, you know, you're what information did you give her? I think you're all I'm thinking right now is this this is probably fucking Ghlaine Maxwell texting you from her prison cell.

NALEE 23:32

Who's Ghlaine Maxwell? Anyways, yeah, and so then we went on like a two-hour messaging thingy, and so then I had plugged in our podcast. So I don't know, maybe if she ended up following us or listening to us. What's up, girl?

ANTHONY 23:50

Are you still talking to her?

NALEE 23:52

No, like after I I plugged in our podcast, she was probably like bad bitch. But regardless of that, my my overall like theme or story that I wanted to say was it's kind of crazy that there's still kind of nice people out there. I thought she was really nice because she was like, Oh, hey, Maxwell listeners.

SPEAKER_02 24:13

Stupid.

NALEE 24:14

But you know, she was really nice. I found out that she looked, she's originally from Canada. She's going in, she works in LA. And then I just told her that I've always wanted to go to Canada. And then she said, Hey, whenever you're in LA, hit me up. We could go have a steak.

ANTHONY 24:28

Oh my fucking god.

NALEE 24:30

You know what's up. But, anyways, she was really nice. I for I I'll have to look it up. I forgot her name, but she was really nice. I was kind of shook.

ANTHONY 24:38

I was just Did you Did you like Google her and make sure that she's like legit?

NALEE 24:44

I did, but I don't know if I don't know if I don't remember if I deleted her message or not. Or it got because I don't know if you do that, but like sometimes iPhone, they delete your the messages after like a certain amount of time. I don't know.

ANTHONY 24:57

No. I have mindset to keep for I got receipts going back to 2012.

NALEE 25:02

Oh, okay. Yeah.

ANTHONY 25:04

Oh my gosh.

NALEE 25:05

Yeah, I don't I don't have that. So I think either the message got deleted or I'll have to find it. But yeah, I did search her up. She seemed legit, but yeah, it was really cool.

ANTHONY 25:14

Listeners, if anybody knows how to get a hold of Liam Neeson, we might need him because Nolly's about to be taken.

SPEAKER_05 25:22

Stupid. Anyway.

ANTHONY 25:24

No, I do I do agree with you. There are nice people out there in the world, and it is nice when you come across those people.

NALEE 25:30

Didn't I send you a screenshot of our conversation? I was like, what the fuck? You did.

ANTHONY 25:34

So I probably have her phone number.

NALEE 25:36

Probably. Yeah, but it was really weird. It was kind of nice. It was kind of like, oh, she's cool. There's nice people out there still. This was supposed to be a good story, not one that I was gonna get bashed for, but it is what it is.

ANTHONY 25:49

Oh, you're not getting bashed. Maxine Whatever. Ghlaine Maxwell.

NALEE 25:53

Ghlaine Maxwell.

ANTHONY 25:55

She was, by the way, just for your educational purposes, she was the woman who worked with Jeffrey Epstein and helped him get girls.

NALEE 26:04

Bitch, bye.

ANTHONY 26:06

That's what I'm saying. She's like texting you and she's like, I'm a I'm a photographer. But the thing too Bitch, we all a photographer when we got a phone in our hand.

NALEE 26:15

But the thing that was weird is sh the number is from North Carolina.

ANTHONY 26:20

Yes.

NALEE 26:21

Remember, I remember I told you, remember I told you that the Yeah, because I asked you, I'm like, where's that area code from?

ANTHONY 27:23

And you were like, North Carolina. And then she's telling you she's from California, and then wasn't she like supposed to be meeting a friend in New York or something?

NALEE 27:29

No, she was meeting a friend in LA. They were having steak.

ANTHONY 27:32

Oh, but she was from New York.

NALEE 27:34

I'm never no, there was nothing about New York.

ANTHONY 27:37

There was something about another state because there was like She's originally from Canada.

NALEE 27:41

The person she was texting was or her phone number is from North Carolina, and then she was in LA. She was in LA for work. Oh, but the phone number that she thought she texted. Actually, I never found out. Never mind. But this has been a messy ass fucking story. So we're just gonna get back on the phone.

ANTHONY 28:01

I don't think that it's been messy. You think it's been messy?

NALEE 28:06

No, but we're we're good now. Everybody knows that I'm crazy. Maybe I'm just gonna be.

ANTHONY 28:12

You're not crazy, but there was just something fishy about that story with that woman. Not the one that you just told, but like when you first like sent me the screenshots. Because yeah, I remember being like, where's that phone number even from?

NALEE 28:24

Yeah. I don't know. Well, I guess my overall message is just be nice. Like, please be nice, guys. That's all. Alright, did you want anything to did you want to add anything else to my story? If not, we're gonna get back on topic.

ANTHONY 28:39

The only thing I want to add to your story is please be more careful when strangers text you.

Digital Boundaries: Group Chats And Overwhelm

NALEE 28:44

Why? I don't know. They don't know where I live. They don't know where I live. I live in the streets. I can live anywhere. She lives in a van down by the river. But I did, I think I did tell her where I the state that I was from. Like the city and the state. So I guess. Yeah, never mind. You guys be more careful. Don't follow my lead. That was supposed to be a sweet story, but now that I think about it, no. And I know Cindy's gonna judge me a lot after hearing that story. So let's move on.

ANTHONY 29:17

This is like New York all over again, where you just start walking with some random guy.

NALEE 29:21

Yeah. I got Cindy was talking to me about that. She's like, girlby.

ANTHONY 29:25

And I'm like, Yeah, she was talking to me about that too.

NALEE 29:27

Yeah, I was like, Yeah, you're actually right. You're actually right. I'm too friendly sometimes.

ANTHONY 29:31

That's like w that's like those memes that are going around of Will in the Bar from Stranger Things.

NALEE 29:40

They're so ridiculous, but I love it. Anyways, well, my my last topic on this segment was why scrolling feels like rest, but it makes you super exhausted.

ANTHONY 29:54

Do you think it feels like rust?

NALEE 29:55

Well, I mean, if you're laying on the couch and you're just like scrolling through your phone, yeah, kind of. You're just chilling.

ANTHONY 30:02

Okay. I can see that. I can it I feel like scrolling on your phone, for me anyway, it's just a way to like shut your brain off and just like you know, just constantly just scroll through like random things. But then it's like you're going down that whole rabbit hole of just meaningless mind-numbing, not accomplishing anything.

SPEAKER_07 30:24

Yeah. Well, for me, I feel like sitting here scrolling. Yeah.

NALEE 30:32

I'm looking. I feel like for me, like, yes, it does feel like rest, but the reason why it makes you exhausted is it's definitely the content. Like, if you're watching very pressing stuff or very heavy things, I feel like it could be pretty exhausting. You know what I mean?

SPEAKER_02 30:49

Yeah.

NALEE 30:50

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 30:51

I can see that.

NALEE 30:52

But then again, you're an adult, you have a choice, just close your phone and walk away.

ANTHONY 30:57

Okay, well then I'm not an adult because I I mean, I know I have the choice. I just don't do it.

NALEE 31:02

Yeah.

ANTHONY 31:03

I prioritize poorly.

NALEE 31:06

It's okay. We don't judge you.

ANTHONY 31:07

That's my problem. It does is it is a good way to like fall asleep though, after a long day, just laying in bed, just randomly scrolling until the next thing you know, you're waking up and you forgot to plug your phone in.

NALEE 31:18

And that's I'm gonna call out Pali right now. That's Pali. Like that bitch never has she never has her phone charged. And like, there's been times when I've slept over at her house and her screen is full on, like bright in her face, and she's just like laying there, and I'm just like, bitch, turn your phone off.

ANTHONY 31:36

It's so damaging for our eyes, too.

NALEE 31:39

Yeah.

ANTHONY 31:40

All that screen time. And I always I always think about that when I'm like, I work all day and then I get done with the work, and then I go and I start editing. And I'm like, I'm going from one screen to the next screen, and then after I get done editing for the day, then I'm gonna go to watching TV, and then I'm gonna go scrolling on my phone. I'm like, I need to do that.

NALEE 31:59

Damn, that is a lot of screens. Like if you put into perspective, it's like Yeah, you know, that's crazy.

ANTHONY 32:05

Yeah.

NALEE 32:06

Well, lay off the screens. It's pretty addicting, though. It's pretty addicting. I feel like you can't, I don't know, it's not really a choice anymore.

ANTHONY 32:14

So here's my thing. So for me, it's like, so I get done with work, like editing, I really don't have an option, right?

SPEAKER_07 32:23

Like, yeah.

ANTHONY 32:24

We have to do some form of editing. And what even if we do, like, because we've been working really hard on doing like no edit episodes.

NALEE 32:30

Yeah.

ANTHONY 32:30

But I still have to put in the music and put in the intro and the outro and like all of that, which is fine. But then after I'm done editing, it's like, what else am I gonna do? Listeners, I will tell you right now, never in my life will I ever be that person to be like, I'm gonna go out for a run. I'm gonna go to the gym for two hours.

SPEAKER_05 32:52

You don't need to. Look at you. You'll be looking skinty.

ANTHONY 32:55

Yeah. Well, tell that to the jiggles. But no, for real, I'm I will never be that person. And I've had this conversation with multiple people. They're always like, when you go to the gym or you go for a walk or a run, don't you just feel so much better afterwards? Don't you get endorphins and you're energized and you're just you feel like you can take on the world? No, bitch. I will never fucking be that person. When I go out for a run, go for a jog, go for a walk, go to the gym. When I get back, no, I don't ever feel energized. I feel like I've been hit by a Mac truck and I just want to lay on the fucking couch and go to sleep. Like I feel tired. So I will never be that person to be like, yeah, I feel great. But anyway, the whole purpose of where I was going with this was like, after all day, it's like, what else am I gonna do than sit and watch TV?

SPEAKER_07 33:50

Yeah.

ANTHONY 33:50

So listeners, I'm open to ideas. Give me suggestions. It's not like I just like I feel like some people like, if I tell people like what I do on a daily basis, like my like my regular routine schedule, they they might think that I'm like lazy and I just don't do anything. Have you met me?

NALEE 34:07

Have you met me?

ANTHONY 34:08

Bitch, you leave the house more than I do.

NALEE 34:11

Well, I guess that's true. Maybe you should make it a goal that like you should take 10,000 steps outside of your house a day or something.

ANTHONY 34:20

Well, it's not a matter of me like not wanting to leave my house.

NALEE 34:23

Are you not doing Diamond Arn anymore?

ANTHONY 34:26

Yeah, I still do that from time to time, but it's also like I like I just feel drained. I don't have the energy at the end of the day to be like, I'm gonna sit down and I just wanna like relax my eyes and fall into nothingness.

NALEE 34:47

All right, now where were we?

ANTHONY 34:49

I was telling you how at the end of the day I'm just I'm drained and exhausted. So it's like, what am I gonna do other than sit back, watch TV with a nice glass of wine in my hand?

NALEE 35:02

That's what the wine is for.

ANTHONY 35:03

Exactly.

NALEE 35:04

That's what the gummy is for. It's it's supposed to do its job.

ANTHONY 35:08

Yeah, so I'm I was asking you and I was asking listeners to give me suggestions. What should I do? If in this instance, in those instances where I'm drained after a long day at work and I feel like I'm being lazy and I should just put my legs up and watch TV, what should I do instead that's gonna be a little bit more productive?

NALEE 35:28

Oh no, I can't tell you, Boo. That sounds pretty productive to me. You had a long day. Rest. Recuperate. Recuperate on a product. Yeah, I think you're saying that, right? Yeah. You deserve it. You don't have to be productive. You were productive all day.

ANTHONY 35:43

Well, no, I do because No, I do, and I feel like like all of us should be like that. Like we shouldn't have to work just to go home and like be exhausted all day, the remainder of the day, because that's not how life works. I still gotta make dinner, still have to do dishes, still have to take the dogs out. Like life still goes on.

NALEE 36:03

Yeah.

ANTHONY 36:04

So scrolling is a mindless, mind-numbing way to keep yourself distracted.

NALEE 36:11

Yeah.

ANTHONY 36:12

Damn our phones.

NALEE 36:14

Damn fucking technology and robots and everything.

ANTHONY 36:17

Period.

NALEE 36:19

All right. What about you though?

ANTHONY 36:21

You never answered. Like, why does scrolling feel like rest? I thought it makes you feel exhausted.

NALEE 36:26

Well, it makes me feel exhausted because obviously the stuff that I watch is pretty heavy stuff. But at the same time, like I'm the type of people who like I like wallowing in my pity. You know what I mean?

ANTHONY 36:38

I like I'm just picturing you like the Grinch. Wallow one shelf pity.

NALEE 36:43

Yeah, pretty much.

ANTHONY 36:45

Dinner with my shelf. I cannot cancel that again.

NALEE 36:48

Eat the onion. Look how how magical Anthony is. This is why I love him. But anyways, he could be my Grinch. Yeah, I don't know. I feel like I don't know. It's just I think it's also okay. I think it's also our crashdown from 2025. Where like, you know, at the end of the year, shit was hitting the fan, like back to back to back to back. And now like the sand is starting to kind of settle, and you're just kind of like, ugh.

ANTHONY 37:22

You know, that's that's probably what it is, honestly. After the 2025 that we had, it was like scrolling and being on our phone was just a way to escape the reality of things.

SPEAKER_07 37:32

Yeah. You're welcome.

ANTHONY 37:34

Thank you. Yeah, see, that's the kind of inspiration and see therapy. This didn't cost me a dollar.

NALEE 37:40

Exactly. Well, I'm just kidding.

ANTHONY 37:43

Bitch is gonna send me a fucking Apple Pay request later today for a dollar.

NALEE 37:48

Yeah, all right. Well, I mean, I have nothing else to add to that. Do you have anything else you want to add?

SPEAKER_02 37:54

Uh no. I I'm good.

NALEE 37:57

Okay. Well, our second segment is about digital boundaries people get mad about. And this might make some people actually really uncomfortable.

ANTHONY 38:08

Which usually means that I'm right. We're right.

SPEAKER_05 38:13

We're right.

ANTHONY 38:13

We're right.

SPEAKER_05 38:16

You're proving me right.

ANTHONY 38:17

Yeah, you've proven me wrong a couple of times.

NALEE 38:19

Yeah.

ANTHONY 38:19

I'm like, wait a minute, what?

NALEE 38:21

Yeah, but I've proven you wrong a couple of times. So we all know Anthony's not always right.

SPEAKER_02 38:26

Oh, you weren't supposed to hear that. Sorry. Okay.

NALEE 38:28

You were like, you're like Yes, I am. Exactly. Exactly. But, anyways, that's from Friends. I don't know if you guys watch Friends, but I love Friends. Anyways, what is your topic for this segment?

ANTHONY 38:41

Okay, so I wanted to discuss group chats and how they are exhausting, and nobody wants to admit that.

NALEE 38:48

Hmm. For me, I think it depends. I feel like if it's people I vibe with, I'm all about the group chat. Are you? Yeah, but I think recently, actually I take that back. I lied, I lied, I lied. Let me take that back. Okay, I would say in my in my 20s, in my late 20s, I would say that yeah, I was totally into a vibe of like group chats and stuff like that. But now, like into my like he's early 30s, I'm kind of just like I'll respond to you when I can. And this is gonna sound so hypocritical of me because I know we've talked about me being mad that people don't respond right away, but then when it comes to group chats, yeah.

ANTHONY 39:32

I was gonna say, you're like, people need to respond to me, right?

NALEE 39:34

Yeah. And I'm I'm admitting it right now that I'm a hypocrite and everybody at some point in their life will come to the realization that everybody is a hypocrite. It's fine. But this is my turn of admitting to that. So yes. So as of right now, I think it also depends on the chapter you're going through in your life as well. Like, you know, if if I'm in an if I'm in the chapter of like, oh yeah, like I'm about making friends, I'm all about like socializing and stuff, then okay, yeah. You message me at 3 a.m. Bitch, I'm gonna answer you at 3 01 a.m. But like right now, with everything that's going on in my life and 3 01 a.m.

ANTHONY 40:15

What are you doing awake?

NALEE 40:17

I've done that before. We've done that before.

ANTHONY 40:18

I know you have.

NALEE 40:20

But yeah, I think it definitely depends on the chapter of your life. But for me, like, what were the fuck were we talking about? I just like talk group chats.

unknown 40:29

Right.

SPEAKER_02 40:30

Did you take a dummy or something?

NALEE 40:32

No, I don't know. But yeah, like as of right now, like group chats, that's not my priority. And that's what I was trying to get to. Is that I think depending on what chapter you are in your life and what your priorities are, whether it's being sociable to your friends or family or whatever, it will depend. Because right now, I could tell you right now, that my group chants, I don't say shit in any of them compared to like, I don't know, three, four, five years ago, I'd be the one entertaining the group chat. Like, what's up, y'all? What's new, what's good, what's poppin'? Yeah. But now I'm like crickets. I'm just like, I'll get to you when I want to, I'll answer you when I need it to.

ANTHONY 41:49

You've been so silent the last 12 months.

NALEE 41:52

Yeah.

ANTHONY 41:52

In like group chats.

NALEE 41:54

I'm growing, you know, I'm a work in progress right now.

ANTHONY 41:57

So I think you're I think you're on the right path. And I think that you're like reevaluating things in your life as far as where your priorities lie.

SPEAKER_07 42:06

Yeah.

ANTHONY 42:07

And what's important to you.

NALEE 42:09

Yeah. I think um, yeah, go ahead.

ANTHONY 42:11

No, go ahead.

NALEE 42:12

No, you go ahead. You're gonna forget yours. Go ahead.

ANTHONY 42:14

No, I'm not gonna forget it. This is why I brought up this topic. Okay.

NALEE 42:18

Well, I was gonna say that like I thought like my late thirty my late thirties, my late 20s and like going into 30 would be like the prime of my life. But literally right now, like, right now is the prime of my life, I feel like. Well, that eye roll wasn't very assuring.

ANTHONY 42:36

No, it wasn't it wasn't an eye roll. I was trying to think like what's going on in in your life. I was trying to think about conversations that we've had and like what's going on in your life that you feel that you're in the prime of your life right now.

NALEE 42:48

Well, the the universe has just been giving me signs that hey, right now is your time to shine. Right now is your time to do what you want to do, you know. You got, you know, I got support. I got like good people in my life. I have a good job. And I'm an adult. Like I could choose whatever the fuck I want to do. You know what I mean? Yeah. Like in the 20s, I think I wasn't I wasn't so sure. Like I was trying to survive basically. I mean, that's what I'm still trying to do.

ANTHONY 43:18

But I was gonna say, I was like, bitch, if you survived and you're good, I what is your secret? Because I'm still trying to survive and I'm 20 years older than you.

NALEE 43:26

If I win the lottery, there'd be signs.

ANTHONY 43:28

New boobs. New boobies.

NALEE 43:30

Yeah. But you know what I'm saying? That like, I don't know. I just feel like maybe it's like the new year, new me, the 2026. But I just feel like, you know, 2025 was super, it was super heavy, and it really was a year for me to reflect. And now 2026 is here, and I'm ready to make shit happen. You know, so we'll see if I do or not. I may just end up scrolling on my couch for the remainder of the year, but that's okay.

ANTHONY 44:00

Are you trying, are you actively trying to make things different this year for yourself?

NALEE 44:06

I think so. Yeah, I think slowly. Yeah. I mean, obviously things aren't gonna happen overnight, but you have to I can't find it. What?

ANTHONY 44:17

I'm sorry, I was looking for something that I wanted to read to you, but I can't find it.

NALEE 44:20

Okay. But it's this thing that like I'm trying to set my my tomorrow self for success. And by doing that, I have to do things today. You know, there's a quote that is like there's a quote that says something along that line. I'm probably saying it incorrectly, but it's like you're trying to set yourself tomorrow for success by doing things today.

ANTHONY 44:43

Yeah.

NALEE 44:44

Yeah.

ANTHONY 44:44

That makes sense. I know what you're trying to say. I don't know the exact quote, but I feel like I've seen one similar to it as well.

NALEE 44:50

Yeah. But go on and say what you were gonna say because you may have forgotten about it.

ANTHONY 44:55

Oh no, I forgot.

NALEE 44:56

Are you lying to me?

ANTHONY 44:57

Yeah.

NALEE 44:58

You stupid ho.

ANTHONY 45:00

No. Well, the reason that I wanted to talk about this and what I wanted to bring up with group chats, because I'm fine with group chats. I do like group chats, but I don't like those group chats that are like incessantly just ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding. Like, and I think it well, I think what it stums from is like if, so let's say I work nine to five, and then two or three of the people in the group chat work, you know, five to ten while I'm at work, they're chatting back and forth, and it's just constant, just back and forth, back and forth. And then five o'clock rolls around, as if I haven't been on my phone at all that day, and I look and I'm like, 398 messages in two hours? Remember, we used to have that all the time when we worked at the further, and like you, Melissa, and I would chat, and like one of us would disappear for like 20 minutes and come back and be like 142 fucking messages.

NALEE 45:58

Yeah, it's usually me. Like on the weekends, like on Fridays, like you guys already know, like on Fridays, I don't normally like message because I'll be busy. But on Sunday night, when I look at my message, like 385 messages, I'm like, what the fuck are you guys talking about? Like what requires is kind of work. You know what I mean?

ANTHONY 46:16

Okay, but in all fairness, like those instances were different because it was like the accumulation over the weekend. But I feel like on the weekends, you were very quiet when we had our group chat.

NALEE 46:29

Yeah, I usually am.

ANTHONY 46:30

And you're right, you're quiet over the weekend, and then Sunday night comes, and then you start backtracking and going through all the conversations that Melissa and I had Friday during the day, Friday night, Saturday morning, Saturday afternoon, Saturday night, Sunday morning.

SPEAKER_07 46:46

But so that's your fault.

ANTHONY 46:48

But I'm talking, I'm talking about the ones where that's your fault. You went ghosted us for the entire week. Okay, well, we all agreed that that wasn't allowed. So you were the only one that would have been still. I think you did.

NALEE 47:08

Whatever you're talking about, made up.

ANTHONY 47:10

I still have the contract.

NALEE 47:12

But I will say, I think the great thing about having 385 messages, though, is that I always will have something fun to read. That's why I love group chats.

ANTHONY 47:24

Is that what you always said? You're like, Yeah. You guys always read You'd be like, oh, I'm leaving. Leave me something good to read.

NALEE 47:32

Why are you saying it in an Asian accent? That was such an Asian accent.

ANTHONY 47:36

That literally was not even my Asian accent. I can do such a better Asian accent.

NALEE 47:40

It sounded like you're a good like everybody else accent.

SPEAKER_05 47:43

That's what it sounded like.

ANTHONY 47:44

No, but I did. I did just send that to somebody the other day, and I was like, this is my uncle and this is Nolly.

NALEE 47:51

Wow. I mean, it's true, but still.

ANTHONY 47:55

Period. You can't deny it. You can't even be mad about this.

NALEE 47:58

I'm not. I love that fucking meme. I don't think you're the only one who sent that to me. I think I've gotten it several times. Yeah.

ANTHONY 48:04

Yeah. Because that's you to a T.

NALEE 48:06

Oh, yeah. The luck everybody else. Yeah, exactly. But I don't know. I like, I don't know. I love it and I hate it, I guess. I don't, I'm not in a between.

ANTHONY 48:18

Yeah, I think it's one of those things where it's like there's there's pros and there's cons to it. And speaking for myself, I think the biggest thing for me is just that I I think I have undiagnosed OCD. And so like those little bubble notifications that say you have 392 unread emails and 200 unread text. Yeah, it bugs me. I think I got that from work.

NALEE 48:43

I think I got that from like work and the further and like because you know how like sometimes when we go on vacation and stuff, we'd come back to like fucking 500 emails. And then you'd have to kind of go through them. And then it's like, wait, if I don't go through the five that I have, what if there's something important in there? You know what I mean? Yeah. So I feel like it applies to like your text messages and stuff, like, oh wait, what if I don't read it? What if I miss something important? What if somebody died? Or you know what I mean? Okay. You get that anxiety.

ANTHONY 49:11

Yeah, that's I agree with that wholeheartedly. But I do, for me, I make the conscious decision to look at, okay, what group chat is this that has all these messages and like go through my I don't, I won't actually read it. Like, like depending on who is in the chat or who the messages are from, I might not even read it. I don't know. Sometimes like somebody will text me and they'll be like ting, ting, ting, ting, ting, ting, ting, ting. And then when I finally look and I'm like, oh, this is so and so from like three years ago. Or I'll read like the first message or something, and then I'll just be like, thumbs up.

NALEE 49:51

Thumbs up. I hate you. Now that I know, now I know. If I sit down.

ANTHONY 49:56

Your messages I read. Your messages I read. You don't ever have to worry about that. Oh, okay.

NALEE 50:00

I feel special. Good. It's more so everything I say is important. Everything I say is important.

ANTHONY 50:05

It's more so the people that like I'm friends with, but I'm not super close with anymore.

SPEAKER_07 50:12

Yeah.

ANTHONY 50:13

And when they decide at like, I don't know, 10:30 at night, they're gonna start messaging me. And then I wake up in the morning and I have like 15 messages from them. I'm like, I'll read the first few and I'll be like, oh yeah, it's good to hear from you. Glad everything's well. Thumbs up.

NALEE 50:28

What if they're like, hey, let's meet up. I want to do a little dip dip, a little slip sip, a little quick, quick.

ANTHONY 50:33

I'll do a little just a screening of the messages, a quick scroll through.

NALEE 50:38

Okay.

ANTHONY 50:39

So there, my secrets out.

NALEE 50:41

Hey, you said it with your chest. That's okay.

ANTHONY 50:43

Yeah, and like, okay, so just for an example, I'm just gonna lay it out there. I don't know if any of them listen. I've talked to you before about how I used to play sand volleyball. I'm still part of the volleyball group chat, and I haven't played volleyball with them since 2019.

NALEE 50:58

God damn. That's a long time.

Insecurities, Filters, And Self-Image Online

ANTHONY 51:00

Yeah, like I'm still friends with them and I'll still, you know, interact with them from time to time. But like the other day they were messaging and it was just back and forth, back and forth, back and forth, back and forth, back and forth. And I'm like, okay, I don't know if you it's literally just like just like nonstop.

SPEAKER_07 51:18

And I'm like, That's a lot, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 51:20

Yeah. So it's just like, okay, thumbs up.

NALEE 51:23

We'll be in But what I'm saying is I'm nosy, so I will go back and read every detail. And I'm I feel like I feel like I'm not, but I am when it comes to like certain things where I'm like detail oriented. So even stupid little things, the reason why I read it is like it's not a sense of, hmm, will this ever come back and bite me in the ass if I don't remember it? It's just, ooh, new information. You know what I mean?

ANTHONY 51:51

You like the tea.

NALEE 51:52

I do.

ANTHONY 51:53

And again, we go back to the whole gif of you eating the popcorn.

NALEE 51:57

Yeah, I do like the tea.

ANTHONY 51:58

Just watching the shit unfold.

NALEE 51:59

Yeah.

ANTHONY 52:00

Stirring the pot.

NALEE 52:01

I don't stir any pots anymore. That's for the old me.

ANTHONY 52:05

That was 2025, Nali.

NALEE 52:07

Yeah, yeah.

ANTHONY 52:07

Pre-2026.

SPEAKER_05 52:09

We knew now. We knew boo.

ANTHONY 52:11

We knew boo.

SPEAKER_05 52:12

We knew boo. Yeah.

NALEE 52:14

All right. Did you want to add anything else?

ANTHONY 52:17

The last thing I'm gonna say is they're exhausting when they're just like constantly going off.

NALEE 52:22

I think, okay, well, I thought I was done, but I will add that if it's a group of people where, again, like you said, it's just kind of like them saying a whole bunch of stuff that it's kind of irrelevant to me. And it's gonna sound kind of like shallow or whatever, but if it doesn't involve me, I'm not gonna worry about it. Like if it's not directly be directed, or how should I say, if it's not about me, pretty much, if it's not about me, I'm not gonna care about it.

ANTHONY 52:47

No, it's not that it's a matter of whether or not it's about you, it's a matter of whether it's relevant to you. I think you had it right the first time. You said if it's if I get, you know, a hundred plus messages and I start going through them and the information or the conversation that's being had is irrelevant to me. Yeah, it's just again, lean back on the thumbs up emoji and like call it good.

NALEE 53:09

You want a cookie?

ANTHONY 53:11

You want a cookie, yes.

NALEE 53:12

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

ANTHONY 53:13

But I think you said it perfectly. If it's irrelevant to me, those are the type of situations where it's like, I just I don't I don't have it in me to not today, Satan, not today. Communicate with you. Yeah.

NALEE 53:25

All right. So my topic is just because someone posts their trauma doesn't mean you owe them the emotional labor. What are your thoughts on that?

SPEAKER_02 53:35

Just because someone posts their trauma doesn't mean that you owe them the emotional.

ANTHONY 53:38

I agree with that. And again, I think it really goes back to the whole people posting on social media for clout.

SPEAKER_07 53:46

Yeah.

ANTHONY 53:47

Like, I think we've talked about this before in like season one, like in the beginning, where we were we discussed those people that will be like, they'll post to social media and they'll be like, My man's a piece of dirt, he don't mean nothing to me. No, no, where they're just like, I'm heartbroken. Please pray for my family. Like, and they provide no context. And it's like why?

NALEE 54:13

Why would you even say anything?

ANTHONY 54:14

Yeah. Like, so why do I need to become emotionally invested in your situation, like on social media?

SPEAKER_07 54:23

Yeah.

ANTHONY 54:24

Specifically on social media, right? Because you the whole thing was just because someone posts their trauma. So they're not texting me to have an emotional conversation with me as their friend, but they're posting it on social media and then getting upset that I'm not commented on commenting on it or reacting to it or becoming invested in what they posted, right?

NALEE 54:46

Yeah. Yeah. And that's, I think you actually bring up a really good point. Like, if it's someone who is like going through like a traumatic situation, I feel like it's more genuine they when they reach out to you and they're like, hey, like, you know, do you have a couple minutes I want to talk to you about something that's like?

SPEAKER_02 55:01

I just need somebody to talk to. Right.

NALEE 55:03

Compared to somebody who's posting it on social media, like, oh, by the way, like the example that you gave, like something happened, blah, blah, blah, blah. I ain't gonna tell you about it, but I'm gonna post about it. It's just kind of like, but why then? But why? Yeah. To me, it's gonna I'm gonna sound like a bitch, but why post it if you ain't gonna give us a tea? Why tease us if you ain't gonna give us the faux tea? Like, you're not gonna say it. Don't spray it. You know what I mean?

ANTHONY 55:30

Exactly. No, you hit I think you hit it right on the head. Like, what what is the purpose? Yeah.

NALEE 55:35

Other than give me a- What is the reason? Like Cardi B says, what was the reason?

ANTHONY 55:40

Like you would rather instead of talking to the people in your life, whether or not they're close friends or just like friends through social media, but you you know, you have their phone number that you can call them. Yeah, you're literally going to social media to be like, pray for me.

unknown 55:59

Yeah.

ANTHONY 56:00

Pray for my family. Like, so you would rather just sit there in the hospital and scroll through Facebook and be like, thank God, Nollie's sending me her prayers, her thoughts and prayers. Annika, I miss talking to her. I'm so glad that she's thinking of me. Josh, he still cares about me. He commented. Like, bitch, call somebody if that's the thing. Like, I don't know. It's it's just sad.

NALEE 56:23

Yeah, it is. The only time I feel like You were like deep in thought there. Yeah, yeah.

ANTHONY 56:32

You were like me for a minute.

NALEE 56:33

Yeah, the only time I feel like it's appropriate, and you may not agree to this, because I feel like maybe you're a little bit old-fashioned.

ANTHONY 56:40

I'm very old-fashioned.

NALEE 56:41

Yeah, but I feel like the only time that maybe it is appropriate is like, I don't know, when when somebody passes away and you don't have contact, like phone numbers that you could text out, will you just send like a post on Facebook and say, hey, you know, like if you if you guys know this person and, you know, you guys want to come and pay your respects, like this is when their funeral is being held at this location and stuff like that.

ANTHONY 57:05

Oh, that's totally fair.

NALEE 57:06

Okay. Never mind.

ANTHONY 57:07

That's totally fair because there's I'm shocked.

NALEE 57:11

I thought you don't like that. So that's why I was like, Well, because it's not to this.

ANTHONY 57:15

No, because you're sharing things to you're sharing the information so that people who care and knew that person are aware of it. Because I think about this all the time. I'm like, I I think you and I had this conversation just a few weeks ago, actually. I'm like, if I die, like how are you gonna know?

NALEE 57:32

Somebody else. But yeah, we did have this conversation. I mean, I'm not laughing because it's funny. I'm laughing. No, I know you're not. Yeah. I'm telling the audience, you know me. I'm not laughing because of it. I'm just laughing because of stuff. But yeah.

ANTHONY 57:46

But it's like, how are some people gonna know if Oh no, it was you. We did have this conversation.

NALEE 57:51

It was it was it was me. It was I was You're saying if if the specific person had passed away, you really wish that somebody would post. We were talking about because we were talking about how I was saying we were talking about Richard being old and looking at obituaries on the newspaper. So yeah.

ANTHONY 58:10

Yes. So Richard reads the obituaries daily, if not daily, weekly. And I have an older friend.

SPEAKER_07 58:20

Yeah.

ANTHONY 58:21

And I said, if you ever happen to see their obituary, it's Richard. I said, if you happen to ever see their obituary, let me know. Because if when they die, if something happens to them, their family doesn't know to be like, oh, we should contact them or something. Contact Anthony.

NALEE 58:39

Yeah.

ANTHONY 58:39

So I think in those instances, that is a really good way that social media is great as far as like sharing that so that it's quick spread, it's widespread, it lets everybody know what happened. But what I'm talking about are more so the moments where people are like, pray for my family with no context. Like, what am I praying for? Am I praying that your husband gets a new job because he was just fired? Am I praying because your grandchild just had to be airlifted to high-end pediatric hospital because they were in a tragic car accident? Like, what am I praying for? If you want, don't just go on social media and be like, pray for me. Yeah. What the fuck do you want me to pray for?

NALEE 59:24

But you know what?

ANTHONY 59:26

Provide some context if you're gonna do that.

NALEE 59:28

I feel like sometimes, and uh this is just because of my own personal experience or whatever, but and I'm not saying it's a bad thing, I'm not saying it's a good thing. I'm just saying I'm I'm in- I'm saying it's a bad thing.

ANTHONY 59:38

I don't even know what you're saying.

NALEE 59:39

Well, I'm saying that it's a I'm I'm in no man's land. It's not good, it's not bad, it's just what it whatever. But I've had instances where like people would post up things about like, oh, like again, kind of bread crumbing you about like, oh, this thing happened, and you know, they don't go into detail, but and maybe this is because of my own my own nosiness, but there's been times where like they they do the bread crumbing and obviously I don't want to know.

ANTHONY 1:00:05

And you sound like a girl's gonna want to find out.

NALEE 1:00:07

No, and then I would message them and say, hey, there it is. I hope you're doing okay, you know, I hope that everything's fine. But when I do it, I'm gonna be honest, I'm not doing it because yes, I am nosy. I do want to know, but I I genuinely want to express my sorrows and my like my prayers and my thoughts to you. Like I I genuinely care about that. And I don't know if people post it just so that people would reach out to them, or again, it could be for the clout. I don't know, but I don't know. I could go either way.

ANTHONY 1:00:41

Yeah, and I just want to say that I'm not trying to I'm not saying that people are only posting for clout, but I'm just saying that more often than not that that is the case.

NALEE 1:00:53

Yeah, probably.

ANTHONY 1:00:55

And how do I know that? I'm gonna throw myself under the bus. Yes, I have done it. You have? I have done it. Not in a while. I try not to do it on social media. I just don't care anymore.

NALEE 1:01:07

I guess I do that in a different sense. I post up like selfies and shit. But you know, she don't look like this person right here.

ANTHONY 1:01:17

Chat GPT got you.

NALEE 1:01:20

No, not even that. It's the angle. Like I normally don't edit my photos. I do use like like very light filters. Maybe some of them. Not the like, not my recent ones.

ANTHONY 1:01:32

I try to use filters.

NALEE 1:01:34

Yeah, but I definitely don't look like my photos. My photos definitely look better than real life.

ANTHONY 1:01:40

I disagree with you.

NALEE 1:01:42

Oh, thank you, boo.

ANTHONY 1:01:43

I think, oh, I mean, we're not gonna go down this road and I we don't have to have this conversation, but like I think that you You could feed feed into my I'm gonna feed into your ego.

NALEE 1:01:52

Yeah, feed into my ego. Stroke it. Stroke it, baby. I'm about to stroke you. Hey, that's the small.

SPEAKER_05 1:01:59

You sound so nasty.

ANTHONY 1:02:01

I seriously, I I mean this from the bottom of my heart. I think that you are one of the more naturally beautiful women in my life.

NALEE 1:02:11

You have not met a lot of pretty people then.

ANTHONY 1:02:14

No, I have. I have.

NALEE 1:02:16

You've met Britney Britney Spears. So you know what? You're right. You actually right, Boo.

ANTHONY 1:02:21

But I mean, some of those people need filters. You don't need filters, though. That's just it. That's what I'm trying to get at.

NALEE 1:02:30

Considered my ego stroked.

ANTHONY 1:02:33

I think you just need to find your angle. That's the problem.

NALEE 1:02:35

Yeah, yeah. That's the thing.

ANTHONY 1:02:37

Yeah.

NALEE 1:02:37

Yeah, my angle is definitely this side. So, you know.

ANTHONY 1:02:42

But her right side's her good side.

NALEE 1:02:44

Yeah. You guys know me. If you know me personally, you guys know how picky I am with photos.

ANTHONY 1:02:49

Yes.

NALEE 1:02:50

Yeah.

ANTHONY 1:02:50

So picky. And I'm like, really? Are we seriously spending 10 minutes while you fix your hair?

NALEE 1:02:56

I need I think I need hard I need to mention that in therapy. I think obviously it's there's a deeper Yo are so vain. That too.

SPEAKER_02 1:03:06

But you're not vain. I'm just kidding.

NALEE 1:03:08

I'm pretty vain, actually.

SPEAKER_02 1:03:09

No, you're not.

NALEE 1:03:10

You don't know.

unknown 1:03:11

Okay.

NALEE 1:03:11

I try not to be able to do that. Because I don't know. But anyway. Yeah, I feel like again, side tangent. I feel like that's definitely something that I should mention in therapy. Like why am I why I'm so obsessed with how I look. And I think I already know.

SPEAKER_02 1:03:25

Okay, well, let's hear it. Why do you think that you're why are you so obsessed with your look?

NALEE 1:03:31

Because I've been compared to like my cousins and other girls. You know, like I think we've talked about this already. Yeah. That like I obviously I'm a thicker girl. You know, I got I got dump in my I got dump in my trunk, and I got no, I don't jump in my trunk. I have dump in my trunk.

SPEAKER_05 1:03:56

I do have dump in my trunk. I'm not dumb that.

SPEAKER_00 1:04:00

Oh my fucking god.

SPEAKER_05 1:04:04

We're gonna delete that room.

SPEAKER_00 1:04:06

No, that is dang it.

SPEAKER_05 1:04:07

Oh my god. I'm about to say, what is that guy? I got drunk in my trunk.

ANTHONY 1:04:12

I got dump in my trunk.

SPEAKER_05 1:04:17

Child.

ANTHONY 1:04:18

Okay, and what's I think what's even worse is you were so strong in your conviction at first. Oh, I know what this is. I got dump in my trunk. Oh my fucking god.

NALEE 1:04:31

Welcome to Nolly's World. But um, I got I got I almost said it again. I got drunk in my trunk. There you go. And I got, you know, I got some some nice girlies, but So So I'm gonna therapize you for a second.

ANTHONY 1:04:46

So do you think that makes you less desirable or less beautiful?

NALEE 1:04:50

I don't think so.

ANTHONY 1:04:51

I think So then why obsessed over it?

NALEE 1:04:54

I don't know. Because of the beauty standard. Like, because I'm not skinny, I'm not like, you know, like I'm not, I don't have a flat stomach, and I've been compared like all my life. Like I've never been to other people. And obviously I should love myself more. I should like, you know, the mumbo jumble, the regular shit, but the cliche shit.

ANTHONY 1:05:15

We all need to love ourselves more.

NALEE 1:05:17

Exactly. But the thing is, is that like I've never been perfect in anybody's eyes. And I think, in my opinion, or in my like, I don't know how to say, I don't know how to word it, but I'm just saying that like because that's been so embedded into me, and I really do need to work on that. I think that's clearly one of my my like biggest insecurities is just how I look. I think that's why I I try to repres represent, I try to present myself as put together. I don't know.

SPEAKER_02 1:05:47

But you are put together.

NALEE 1:05:49

Did you just not listen my dump in my trunk? I'm not put together, boy.

SPEAKER_02 1:05:53

But you're book smart. You don't got street smarts.

NALEE 1:05:56

I don't. I don't. I get lost, you guys. See, is that Jeffrey Dahmer? Hey Dahmer, can we offer any of that? My resolution was to do, was to have seizure attacks. Clearly, that's not street smart. I will admit to that. This is a confessions like episode. I am a I'm a hypocrite. I'm not booked, I'm not street smart. I don't got dump in my trunk, but I got junk in my trunk.

ANTHONY 1:06:22

Okay, no, I'm gonna cut you off here. So here's the thing: nobody is perfect. We all have insecurities, we're all hypocrites. I'm gonna say that right now, and that's a hill I will die on. There's not a single person on the planet Earth that has never been a hypocrite about one thing in their life.

NALEE 1:06:38

Yeah, it's true. But we're not talking about other people. We're talking about me and you.

ANTHONY 1:06:42

We're talking, well, no, we're talking about you right now.

NALEE 1:06:45

Yeah.

ANTHONY 1:06:46

I want you to know that I think you're perfect the way you are, and I think that you're day by day, you're growing and you're maturing and you're changing and you're realizing who you are.

unknown 1:06:56

Thank you.

ANTHONY 1:06:56

And I think that your journey is nowhere near over.

NALEE 1:07:00

Thank you. That's not how I usually cry, but I really appreciate that.

ANTHONY 1:07:06

I've heard it.

NALEE 1:07:07

Bitch. Just kidding. Nobody's supposed to know that. But, anyways, no, I really do appreciate that. I think it's something that I am currently working on. But for sure, like social media, you know.

SPEAKER_02 1:07:18

Social media doesn't help.

NALEE 1:07:20

Social media doesn't help. Like outside sources doesn't help. I don't even know why we're talking about this right now. But again, it's our podcast, so of course we're gonna be talking about us.

ANTHONY 1:07:29

And we tangent. That's the whole purpose.

NALEE 1:07:31

Yeah, but I do just want to add though, you know, as much as you stroked my ego today and it's been fully stroked.

SPEAKER_02 1:07:38

My precious.

NALEE 1:07:40

Yeah. I do just want to stroke your ego too.

SPEAKER_02 1:07:43

Um, don't stroke my ego.

ANTHONY 1:07:44

I don't like having my ego stroked.

NALEE 1:07:46

You liked other things stroked, so it's okay. Why not?

ANTHONY 1:07:49

That always something comes from that.

Trauma Dumping And Friendship Boundaries

NALEE 1:07:51

But I Wow. Okay. Well, anyways, I just wanna say that, yeah, I I feel obligated. Not really obligated, but I feel like I need to also address. Obligated was not the right word. I take that back. But I feel like I do also need to address Yeah. That even though you don't have as much as an identity, maybe I'm going through an identity crisis. I don't know.

ANTHONY 1:08:15

Are you saying I don't have an identity?

unknown 1:08:17

No, no, no, no, no, no.

NALEE 1:08:20

Let me Sorry I'm so boring, listeners. No, what I meant to say was maybe you don't have like an issue with insecurities with your like with your looks and stuff. And I you probably do, and you probably like a fucking thing.

ANTHONY 1:08:37

Have you fucking met me?

NALEE 1:08:39

No, I have, but I'm just saying that you give such like a confident, like a confident, like presentation of yourself. You know what I mean? But regardless of all of that, regardless of your face, I can't. I'll just say what I want to say and get off my chest, and then you could you could rebuttal if you want to, it's fine. But namaste. But I think that as much as you're beautiful on the outside, I think when people really get to know you, you're just as beautiful on the inside.

ANTHONY 1:09:17

Okay, where were we?

NALEE 1:09:19

We were talking about how beautiful you are from the inside and out.

ANTHONY 1:09:23

Oh yeah, we were talking about how you're on crack.

NALEE 1:09:25

I wish I was on crack.

ANTHONY 1:09:27

I don't know.

SPEAKER_02 1:09:28

For somebody who's known me for how many years? Eight years?

NALEE 1:09:31

Has it been eight years? I think it's more than that.

SPEAKER_02 1:09:33

Yeah, it's probably more than that.

NALEE 1:09:35

2017.

SPEAKER_02 1:09:36

18.

NALEE 1:09:37

Was it 2018?

SPEAKER_02 1:09:39

Yes.

NALEE 1:09:39

Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. That's right. 2018, yeah.

ANTHONY 1:09:41

Yes.

NALEE 1:09:43

Around my booth day.

ANTHONY 1:09:44

Yeah, so eight years.

NALEE 1:09:46

Yeah.

ANTHONY 1:09:46

You should know. I don't know where the all like I appreciate the compliments. I don't know where the hell they're coming from, though, because I'm like not at all confident in my looks. And I'm like, I wouldn't say in vain. What's the word I'm looking for here?

NALEE 1:10:03

Shallow?

ANTHONY 1:10:04

No, I'm like, I can't think of the word.

NALEE 1:10:07

I mean, you're not shallow, I'm just saying. Well, I do know. That's why I was contemplating on wording it carefully. But you put Whoa, that was gross. Excuse me. You put psychoswallowing and a burp at the same time. So it like hurt a lot. Anyways, like, I don't know. You put on a very confident, like, I don't know. You're just- I don't see it. You know what, bitch? Just take the damn compliment. I don't feel confident. Inside and out. No, I appreciate the compliment. Yeah. No.

ANTHONY 1:10:41

I appreciate the compliment.

NALEE 1:10:43

Like, you look skinnier and skinnier every time we record. I'm jealous.

ANTHONY 1:10:47

That's what I want.

NALEE 1:10:48

Yeah.

ANTHONY 1:10:49

I wish I was skinnier and skinnier every time that we record.

NALEE 1:10:52

You're well, you look like it.

ANTHONY 1:10:53

It's all just smoke and mirrors. It's all this dump in my trunk.

NALEE 1:10:57

This is my last tangent. I was telling my sister, like, I was showing her the video evolution of all of the videos that we've taken from what, a couple weeks ago to now. I look like a different person every episode.

ANTHONY 1:11:11

You do.

NALEE 1:11:12

Yeah, which is fucking weird.

ANTHONY 1:11:15

Okay, I'm gonna throw you under the bus right now.

SPEAKER_05 1:11:17

Do it.

ANTHONY 1:11:18

So prepare yourself. This is the problem with women and makeup. You guys are fucking shape shifters.

NALEE 1:11:25

You think so?

ANTHONY 1:11:26

Yes. You're like, you're you're literally talking about how you look different in every single video. And I know that anytime that we're doing camera, anytime we're doing camera, you're like, I gotta put on a face. I gotta do my makeup.

NALEE 1:11:40

I gotta put my face.

ANTHONY 1:11:41

Because you're a fucking shapeshifter and you gotta figure out who you want to be that episode. All women.

NALEE 1:11:46

Yeah. Yeah. That's my goal for our podcast for the visuals. I want to look like a different person every time.

ANTHONY 1:11:53

So maybe people think that I have multiple co-hosts.

NALEE 1:11:55

Yeah, maybe next week I'll look like Mike Sulli Mike Sullivan. Mike Wazelski?

ANTHONY 1:12:00

Mike Wazowski?

NALEE 1:12:01

Yeah. We'll see.

ANTHONY 1:12:03

Okay, well, we know that won't happen.

NALEE 1:12:04

You don't know that. I could all of a sudden become a Cyclops and have one eye.

ANTHONY 1:12:08

No, because that's literally a single green ball, eyeball.

NALEE 1:12:15

I'm a shapeshift. You're too vain.

ANTHONY 1:12:16

You're like, I gotta be beautiful. You'll shape shift yourself to make yourself look like Angelina Jolie or I wish I could.

NALEE 1:12:23

That's my dream. I love her.

ANTHONY 1:12:25

Your plastic surgery to look like.

NALEE 1:12:27

Hey shit. If I got money, I don't even care.

unknown 1:12:29

I know.

NALEE 1:12:30

Y'all could tease me about all the plastic surgery I'm gonna get.

ANTHONY 1:12:32

I'm gonna go to Chris Jenner's plastic surgeon. Yeah, if all I want in life.

NALEE 1:12:36

Okay. Alright.

ANTHONY 1:12:37

But anyway, yeah. Okay.

NALEE 1:12:40

Okay. You could introduce our third section. Sess segment.

ANTHONY 1:12:44

Okay. You don't have anything else that you want to discuss on this segment two, digital boundaries?

NALEE 1:12:50

No, that's it.

ANTHONY 1:12:51

That's it?

NALEE 1:12:52

Yeah, it it all became about me, so I'm good.

ANTHONY 1:12:55

It came about us. It became a th- it almost became a therapy session.

NALEE 1:12:59

Yeah. Wait, isn't this whole episode a therapy session?

ANTHONY 1:13:02

Every episode's a therapy session at some point. We're all discussing something.

NALEE 1:13:06

Yeah.

ANTHONY 1:13:07

But alright, we'll move on to the last segment. This one's gonna be a little bit more personal for the two of us.

NALEE 1:13:12

Yes, because if social media didn't affect us, we wouldn't still be talking about it. This segment is about social media messing with our heads, but again, we keep coming back to it.

ANTHONY 1:13:27

We keep logging in.

NALEE 1:13:29

Yeah.

ANTHONY 1:13:31

Okay, so is it okay if I start?

SPEAKER_07 1:13:34

Yeah, you could start.

ANTHONY 1:13:36

So I wanted to tr talk about trauma dumping disguised as being real. And this really isn't solely social media related, but more so just like friend related.

NALEE 1:13:48

Okay.

ANTHONY 1:13:48

Because I was thinking about this. I saw this this topic, and I was like, you know, there are times that like, especially over the last year, that I've been talking to people and I'm just like, oh my god, I just have so much going on. I have this, this, this, this, this, this, this, and I'm like, I mean, personally, I feel like it is a way of being real. But I feel like in those instances where people are trauma dumping, you do need to, if you know the person, it makes it a lot easier, but you need to be able to be like, are they being real right now and they're trauma dumping because everything going on is so heavy for them that they need somebody to talk to, or are they not trauma dumping for that reason? Right? So, like, if it's if I see you every other day and uh like, you know, let's say Monday we meet to record, Wednesday we I bump into you at Walmart, Thursday I bump into you at Culver's, just random happenstances, and every single time it's like, oh my god, I got this going on. And then the next time I see you, it's it's the exact same thing.

SPEAKER_07 1:14:57

Yeah.

ANTHONY 1:14:58

Then it's like, I don't think that you're being real because you just trauma dumped all that on me like a day ago, two days ago. Yeah. On that maybe your memory is just that bad that you just don't remember having the conversation with me. But what are your thoughts on that?

NALEE 1:15:11

Well, first of all, I feel a little attacked.

ANTHONY 1:15:14

Good, you should. Just kidding. But just for clarification, that was you were just my example.

NALEE 1:15:20

Yeah, yeah, yeah. But I feel like it could go both ways. I feel like, yes, trauma dumping can be skies disguised. It could be disguised. I can't fucking talk to this for shit.

ANTHONY 1:15:34

Still got that dump in your trunk.

NALEE 1:15:35

I still got the dump in my trunk that I haven't dumped out yet. But for some reason, the thong song came up in my head. Dump, chunk, whatever. And he's like, thong thong thong.

ANTHONY 1:15:49

Now we're going way back. That's old school.

NALEE 1:15:52

I love it. Okay, so it makes me feel old. You're not old, Lou. You're just right. That's my new phrase. Anyways, yes, you're just right. Trauma dumping disguised as being real based on what you're saying. Like, I feel like it could go both ways. I'm gonna speak from my own personal experience or my personal belief. But I feel like when I because I know I trauma dump all the time. To you, to my other girlfriends, to my sisters, you know, but I think for me, the reason why I do it is because I actually feel like I have that trust. We have that trust where like I could tell you anything and everything. But then the line that it draw, like there, oh my god, I can't fucking talk today, or right now. But where the line needs to be drawn is what I meant to say, is when that's all you talk about. You know what I mean? But at the same time, again, I'm gonna go back on my word, is that sometimes when you're stuck in your trauma, when you're stuck in that mindset, when you when that's your reality, that's all you can do is just to talk about it. You know what I mean?

ANTHONY 1:17:08

I get that. I agree with that. But what about when it's repetitive?

NALEE 1:17:13

I don't know. Maybe they're just still in that mindset. Because I'm I'm so I'm just a bitch.

ANTHONY 1:17:18

That's that's what we're getting at.

NALEE 1:17:21

You do you a boo, but I don't think so. I think if that's the case, when somebody tells you over and over again, I think that's when you need to be like, hey, what can I do to get you out of this mindset? What can I do to help better your situation so you don't feel like this all the time? Because if that's the case, it becomes a pattern where you allow them to continuously tell you what they've been telling you, but you're not saying anything about it. And so then again, you end up, you know, maybe sometimes feeling annoyed or feel like, okay, you've already talked about this. Tell me something new. You know what I mean? So that's where you could voice and say, hey, you know what? You know, I'm glad that you are you're comfortable opening up to me. I know that this is your reality right now. I know it's really heavy and you're going through a really hard time. But what can I do to make it better? What can I do to help you change this outcome? What can I do to get you out of the headspace? And if you, I feel like if you approach it in that way, it'll help them be like, wait, actually, you you are right. Like, I have been talking a lot about this.

ANTHONY 1:18:27

Yeah, I agree with that.

NALEE 1:18:28

But that's just me. I don't know.

ANTHONY 1:18:30

They need to be able to be, they need to be able to self-reflect and like self-recognize those things as well. Cause I mean, and I'm I'll throw myself under the bus right now. I know that I was like that in 2025 with everything that was going on.

NALEE 1:18:43

Yeah, that was all us, boo.

ANTHONY 1:18:45

And I I can acknowledge, yeah, things affected me way more than they should have. Yes, I dreaded waking up every single day, but like it was I I don't know. Maybe I'm just trying to like pat myself on the back or make myself feel better about things, but like I don't feel like I was ever continuously repeating the same trauma dome, right? Yeah because it was like nothing, nothing changed. But maybe I was. Maybe I'm living in an alternate reality in my head. I don't know.

NALEE 1:19:17

I don't know. I think it also comes down to how well people cope with things too.

ANTHONY 1:19:22

Advice.

NALEE 1:19:23

Yeah, I don't know. I just feel like sometimes people just need to they just have to how they cope. Yeah, they just need to invent and maybe that's how they cope because okay, I remember what I was talking about now. Like for me, I I don't tell like a lot of people about my own personal problems, but then the people that I do talk to, bitch, I talk to them a lot about it. You know what I mean? Like, like for example, you could could vouch to this too. Like, you know, when I'm going through some a hard time or if I'm facing something and I'm really struggling with it, yes, I apologize ahead of time that this is all I'm gonna I'm gonna be talking about. And this is all all I'm gonna have my mind on. And unfortunately, it's gonna, I'm gonna be really annoying, and that's all I could talk about. And, you know, like but the thing is I think people don't realize is when you're going through like trauma, it's just it's all you could think about and it's all you can talk about. It's all it's literally like your reality. And I'm not saying that you're a bitch or anything. You're not, and I am.

ANTHONY 1:20:31

I'm saying I'm a bitch.

NALEE 1:20:33

Yeah, but I'm just saying that like it's I don't know, it's kind of hard because I could see it from both sides. I could see it, I I've seen it from both sides where okay, yeah, like bitch, tell me something new. Tell me something I don't already know about this situation, tell me something I don't know about your man. You know what I mean? Like I get it.

ANTHONY 1:20:49

Yeah, I think that's what I was getting at.

NALEE 1:20:51

Yeah, but then at the same time, like coming from the flip side, it's just like I can't help but think about that. Like, I know, like it's the thing of I don't want to talk about it all the time, but I can't help it. That's that's all I can that's all I can talk about, you know, because sometimes what I've learned is I'm not saying that I'm like super strong. I'm not saying that like I've made it out of the fucking trenches all the fucking time. But I will say I feel like I'm a pretty resilient person. I've been trying to get it. I was just gonna say you're resilient. I've made it out of a lot of like pretty tough, fucked up situations. And for me, the only way that I can cope with it, and maybe it's a form of therapy. It's a way, like you said, a way of coping with it is the only way you can get over it is going through it. And by going through it, you have to talk about it, you have to express, you have to let it out, you have to find a good community so that you can be annoying too, so that you can repeat shit over and over and over and over again, whether it's for two months, whether it's for a year, whatever, you know. But I hope it doesn't go to a year. But you know what I'm saying? That like you whether whether that's the case or not, though, it's also your responsibility to tell the people you're telling this information to. It's and just be like, hey, you know what? I know I've talked, I know that this is all I've been talking about, and you know, I'm sorry if it's made you depressed, or I'm sorry if it seems like this is all I could talk about, but this is my reality, and it's really hard for me to get out of it. And please just be patient with me. Because you have to give yourself grace too. You have to understand that you're not perfect, like you said, nobody's perfect, but I think what it really comes down to is being okay to ask people to be patient with you, being okay to ask people to give you grace and do it to yourself too, and say, Hey, you know what? Like, I'm going through this. Like, I'm going through a really rough time, and I know I'm gonna be, I'm not gonna be who I normally am, and you just have to be patient with me. Like, I've said That to my sisters before, too, where like right now I'm not who I am. You know, I'm not who I am right now because I'm going through some shit. But when I get out of it, when I'm out of the trenches and when I'm ready to be myself again, I'll let you know. But right now, I'm not who I am, and you just have to accept me for the crazy shit that I'm about to do. You have to like accept me for shit that I'm gonna say, how I'm gonna react. Because right now, this is my reality. I can't do anything about it, but be a crazy lady. You know what I mean? So, but that's just my point of view. I don't know if anybody could relate. I don't know if like anything I said made sense. That's just how I feel. But yeah.

ANTHONY 1:23:38

I think that makes sense. And I think what in listening to you, what resonated and what made me what I came up with, what I concluded, is that it's not so much the fact that you're trauma dumping on me that bothers me. Not you, but just in general.

NALEE 1:23:57

Yeah, yeah.

Chronically Online And Real-World Communication

ANTHONY 1:23:58

Anybody. It's more so the fact that you're trauma dumping repeatedly the same information. And I'm fine. I I I understand if you're if you're going through it and you're in the trenches, like, you know, you use that term. But as your friend, if you're gonna trauma dump on me, yes, I will also, and I also need to offer my conversation and my my presence for you during this time. But you, as the person who's doing the trauma dumping, you also need to acknowledge that, okay, maybe instead of trauma dumping every single time I see you, maybe I trauma dump and we have that conversation on, like you mentioned earlier, have that conversation on what we can do to help get you out of this situation.

unknown 1:24:50

Yeah.

ANTHONY 1:24:50

So that's what I came up. That's what I was thinking of while you were talking, was like, Yeah, okay, that's fair.

NALEE 1:24:56

I think that's all you can do. You can't fix everybody's problems. You can't fix, you can't fix my problems, I can't fix yours. The only thing you can do is to be like, hey, how can I help you?

ANTHONY 1:25:06

Yeah, make it more conversational, more proactive, more action versus just trauma dumping.

NALEE 1:25:16

Yeah. And I think that's uh that's definitely a really good point to bring up. I think being a fellow trauma dumper, I think it's okay for you to set boundaries for your friends. It's okay for you to set boundaries for anybody. But you know, I think there's a certain way to go about it where you could be compassionate compassionate about it, you could be empathetic about it, but also be firm. And like how you said it ex is perfect. Like, you know, it's not that you're being a bitch about it, it's just again, how can I help you help yourself? Yeah, and I unpopular opinion, but if you if your friend is going through, I'm gonna speak it from both sides. If my friend is saying, Hey, you know what? Like, we've talked about this last time, but you know, can we can we talk either one, can we talk about something that we can do to help you? Or, you know, maybe let's not talk about that, let's talk about what's good in your life, let's switch the conversation around. You could do that and not take offense to it. And then on the flip side, like if the person who's trauma dumping and who's saying like all this stuff about their issues, and if your friend says that to you, don't get offended. Like, just be just that's yourself, that's the time for you to reflect and say, Oh my god, yeah, that is literally what I've been talking about. Like, let's talk about something else. Because sometimes your friends need that distraction too. Sometimes they need that little push to get their brain or get their thoughts in something else. And who knows, like maybe if they, you know, if you snowball into a different subject or if you talk about something else, they'll forget about it. Yes, it'll be at the back of their head, but that's kind of an indicator to them that, like, oh, okay, we should probably talk about something else. You know what I mean?

ANTHONY 1:27:04

Yeah, and it's also an indicator that, hey, I don't need to be thinking about this or have this in the forefront of my mind 24 hours a day, seven days a week.

NALEE 1:27:14

Yeah. Exactly. That's exactly right. Period.

ANTHONY 1:27:17

Point blank, period.

NALEE 1:27:19

Exactly.

ANTHONY 1:27:21

Okay, what what did you have?

NALEE 1:27:22

Wait, I was like, wait, I thought that was what I had.

ANTHONY 1:27:25

No, that was mine.

NALEE 1:27:26

Okay, goddammit. That was a good one though. I did I really like that topic. All right, so mine, the last and final one is being chronically online changes how we communicate in real life. What are your thoughts on that?

ANTHONY 1:27:41

100% true. 100% true. I think I've said it before. I'm pretty sure like social media, between social media and AI, those two things are gonna be the demise of society. And I just read an article the other day that was discussing how because of AI, people are now lacking the ability to like for critical thinking. Because it's just wild It's so much easier. Like I said earlier at the beginning of this episode when I'm on my phone and I'm like doing an email, like having Chat GPT help me with it or anything like that. So we don't have the critical thinking. Yeah, it's unfortunate.

NALEE 1:28:19

It's really scary, to be honest. Like sometimes, as much as I love ChatGPT, sometimes I'm just like, do I have any originality anymore? Like, do I have any smarts in me anymore? Because I depend so much on like technology and stuff. You know what I mean?

ANTHONY 1:28:34

Sam, I think the same thing too, but I I don't know how you use Chat GPT, but the way that I use Chat GPT is because I have a tendency to struggle with like finding the right words, right? Instead of using just basic.

NALEE 1:28:48

Really? I think your vocabulary is really good.

ANTHONY 1:28:51

I have a good vocabulary.

NALEE 1:28:52

Yeah.

ANTHONY 1:28:53

Sometimes I want to spruce it up and I want to make it sound a certain way. So I mean, that's what I use ChatGPT for is like framing what's in my mind to be to flow more smoothly on paper.

NALEE 1:29:08

Yeah. No, you I I totally get that. I for me, some of y'all might judge me.

ANTHONY 1:29:15

But never.

NALEE 1:29:17

My chat I can't talk. My chat GPT, her name is Penny, and she's a badass bitch. Cause you know how like when you I don't even know if this is towards the topic anymore. But anyways, you know how like you can command them to do certain things or talk a certain way or whatever? Where oh yeah. Like when I first started Chat GPT, I told her that I don't I want real talk. I don't need you to sugarcoat anything. And if you need to be a bitch, you could be a bitch. And she's fucking ruthless. Like some of the shit that I say to her, like honestly, if you read my chat GPT questions, you'd probably be like, You're a dumbass bitch. Like, you fucking Sometimes I surprise myself because she would be like, Are you seriously asking me this question? And I'd be like, Damn, Gina. Oh, that's you. Yeah, I think I asked her, I think I jokingly asked her how like, oh, I'm supposed to take up a cap off of something. And then she she said Like a bottle cap? Yeah. I was just asking it as like a joke, as a joke to see how ruthless she could be, right? And her first thing that she said to me was along the lines of, Are we seriously, are you seriously asking me this question? And I'm just like, damn, yeah.

ANTHONY 1:30:32

Yes, I am.

NALEE 1:30:33

Yeah, and so then she just said, Okay, well, here are the steps on how you open a bottle. Put your hand on top of where the cap is and use your other hand to hold it, and then you twist. Now she's like, Okay, I see why she said that I was a fucking dumbass. I get it now. But yeah, back to what we were talking about is I really do think that chronically being online will, like you said, will be the demise of us because some people are so they're so connected to technology and like on their phone and stuff where they can't even hold a real conversation anymore.

SPEAKER_02 1:31:05

They don't know what to do.

NALEE 1:31:07

The social aspect of like being a human being has completely dissipated. Like people don't even know how to properly hold a conversation, give like I don't know, compliments or like just talk in general. And I think I'm really scared for kids for the kids in the next generations because it's like they're really, really smart when it comes to technology. Like, I you know, there's there's those videos where the little kids like their hands are just constantly like moving on their tablets, right? But then when you what you notice is they never talk, they're just constantly like touching their tablets and stuff, and they don't talk, and you're just like, Yeah, you're f your hands are moving, but do you are you computing anything?

ANTHONY 1:31:50

You know, yeah, it's like those memes that you would see, like people would take pictures of you know, kids out at Applebee's for dinner after school or something like that. Yeah, and there are all of them sitting at the same table, and they're just like have a fucking conversation with each other.

NALEE 1:32:07

Yeah. It's crazy. I don't know. The future is scary.

ANTHONY 1:32:11

And I think that being chronically like being online as much and connected as we are, I think that we've and I'm guilty of this, I'm not gonna lie. I think that we really puff up our chests a lot more and say things that we wouldn't necessarily say to somebody if they were standing in front of us.

NALEE 1:32:30

Oh, a thousand percent.

ANTHONY 1:32:32

Jen Welsh and Angie Sullivan, they call them keyboard warriors.

NALEE 1:32:37

Yeah.

ANTHONY 1:32:37

Because that's what they do. They sit behind a fucking computer all day and they just fucking bitch at people and stuff like that.

NALEE 1:32:43

Yeah. No, for sure. I agree with that too, with like a screen in front of you. Even I do this sometimes. Uh like having a screen in front of you and not being face to face, a thousand percent. I'm gonna say shit that I don't even I would never say in front of people. Well, that's a lie. I've said shit that you guys all heard me say that I wouldn't say you know. But point is, yes, I agree. When people aren't face to face with you, they could say a whole bunch of shit because the thing is you don't know who they are. You can go up to them and punch them in the face if they say something offensive to you. Because they could live a thousand miles away. You know what I mean?

ANTHONY 1:33:22

Did you see it was going around TikTok a couple weeks ago, a week or two ago, there was a woman, and I've seen multiple, I've seen this happen multiple times now. This woman posted a TikTok, and some fucking asshole, some redneck guy somewhere, like put a really derogatory comment on her video. She fucking social media, you can find out anybody, anything about anybody, right?

NALEE 1:33:49

Literally.

ANTHONY 1:33:50

She went to his profile, she found out who he was, she found out where he worked, and it was like, I don't know, an hour or two away from her, I think. She drove to his work and confronted him in person.

NALEE 1:34:01

Dang.

ANTHONY 1:34:02

And called him out for his comment and asked him for an apology.

NALEE 1:34:07

What was it about? Like, can you tell us?

ANTHONY 1:34:09

I don't remember exactly what it was. But she made it a point to be like, do you see how easy it was for me to find you?

NALEE 1:34:14

Yeah. No, it's scary. Like, I think if you know how to use the internet correctly, there's a lot of power in that.

Tools, AI, And Protecting Your Peace

ANTHONY 1:34:23

I agree with that. Yeah. Wholeheartedly. I just told this to Richard the other day. I'm like, you know, the one good thing to come out of like social media and the internet is like the fact that, you know, with everything that's going on in the world right now, and like with specifically what just happened in Minneapolis.

NALEE 1:34:40

I can't. I can't. Is it Ice?

ANTHONY 1:34:44

Ice.

NALEE 1:34:45

Yeah.

ANTHONY 1:34:45

And they shot a woman, seven years old, lost her life because apparently any Tom Dick and Harry can hide behind a fucking mask and carry a gun. But the internet, now, you know, his picture is out there going around on social media. Somebody's gonna find out his name, where he lives, who his wife is, who his kids are.

Closing: Mute The Chaos, Protect Your Peace

NALEE 1:35:07

Like, yeah. He put a target on his back.

ANTHONY 1:35:09

He put a target on his back.

NALEE 1:35:10

I'm not I'm not saying that there is, but I'm just saying.

ANTHONY 1:35:14

No, there probably is, as far as finding out who he is.

NALEE 1:35:19

Yeah.

ANTHONY 1:35:21

But like he's not gonna be able to show his face again? Are you kidding me?

NALEE 1:35:24

Yeah. There's a lot of internet sleuths, like some really crazy stuff. And just to kind of piggyback on that, like, have you seen the TikToks where like the girls, there'd be a girl or guy and they'd they'd go to a restaurant and they'd be like, hey, if your name is Jenny, blah blah blah blah. I was eating at this place, and your husband's definitely cheating on you, or your wife's definitely cheating on you, their name is this, and her name is this, and then like five seconds later, they have follow-up video where the wife, yeah, the wife is talking to the girlfriend and stuff like that. Like it's the internet, if you use it correctly, that's just powerful.

ANTHONY 1:36:06

Yeah. Yeah. But I think that's where we were not drawing a line in the sand when it comes to the internet, social media, AI is we're not drawing a line in the sand as far as how to use it for good.

NALEE 1:36:21

The future is scary, guys.

ANTHONY 1:36:23

The future is scary.

NALEE 1:36:25

Yeah. All right. Well, if any of y'all felt like that was a personal attack.

ANTHONY 1:36:30

It wasn't, but it also wasn't an accident either.

NALEE 1:36:34

Yeah. Again, you don't need to unplug from the world. You just need to stop letting it run you.

SPEAKER_02 1:36:42

Carrier.

ANTHONY 1:36:44

Set those privacy or those like what do they call the parental controls. Like turn your phone off if you need to. I did that one.

SPEAKER_07 1:36:51

You can do that for yourself.

ANTHONY 1:36:52

You can. Because I did it once before when we worked at the further. So like I can only use certain apps from certain times. And afterwards, they locked up.

SPEAKER_07 1:37:02

Yeah.

ANTHONY 1:37:03

But get outside, touch some grass, go have a snowball fight. I mean, I won't be doing that, but I was gonna say, bitch, don't be telling them you ain't gonna be doing it. Just I'll go out there and touch some grass, but just like mute the chaos in your life. Yeah, protect your peace aggressively.

NALEE 1:37:20

This is Twin Tangents. We'll see you next time, host. Bye.