🎙️Nalee's Hypothetical Hotline - Episode 12 - The Selective Friend (AUDIO ONLY)🎙️

This week on Nalee's Hypothetical Hotline 📞, we're unpacking a friendship dynamic that feels a little too familiar:

What happens when someone only reaches out when they need something?

You know the pattern. When life is falling apart, your phone is blowing up. 📱 When they need advice, reassurance, validation, or a crisis manager, you're their first call. But when things are going well? Silence. No check-ins. No random memes. No "thinking about you" texts. Just radio silence. 👻

This episode dives into the difference between being someone's friend and being someone's emotional support hotline. We explore whether being a person's "safe space" automatically makes a relationship meaningful—or if there comes a point where support starts feeling more like a service than a friendship.

Is it still a friendship if the connection only activates during emergencies? 🚨
Can you genuinely care about someone while still recognizing they're taking more than they're giving?
And how do you know when you've been downgraded from friend to resource?

Along the way, we get real about friendship seasons, emotional reciprocity, growing apart, and the reality that not every relationship is meant to last forever. Sometimes people enter your life for a chapter—not the whole story.

Of course, because this is the Hotline, the conversation eventually spirals into dating stories, life lessons, embarrassing moments, and Nalee's now legendary magic carpet ride down a flight of stairs. 🪄🪜

Because apparently personal growth and public humiliation go hand in hand.

Takeaways we're definitely overthinking:

• 🤝 Friendship should be mutual, not transactional
• ⚖️ Being needed isn't the same as being valued
• 🧠 Healthy relationships require effort from both sides
• 🌱 Outgrowing people doesn't make either person wrong
• ❤️ You can care about someone and still set boundaries

It's thoughtful. It's hilarious. It's a little painful. And it's a reminder that the best friendships aren't built on convenience—they're built on connection.

Welcome back to the Hotline 📞—where the hypotheticals get deep, the tangents get ridiculous, and somehow every life lesson comes with a side of chaos.

#NaleesHypotheticalHotline #TheSelectiveFriend #FriendshipDynamics #BoundariesMatter #EmotionalLabor #FriendshipGoals #RelationshipTalk #PodcastLife #TwinTangents #BecauseTherapyWasBooked #FriendshipAdvice #PersonalGrowth #SelfReflection #PodcastCommunity #HoeMmunity

⚠️ Twin Tangents: Because Therapy Was Booked ⚠️
 Unfiltered. Unapologetic. Unhinged (just a bit).

Hosted by Nalee & Anthony—this is your safe, spicy space to spiral. Expect adult content, hot takes, and high-functioning chaos.

And yes, we call our listeners H.O.E.S.
 (Hilarious. Over it. Emotionally unstable. Spicy.)
 It’s not an insult. It’s a hoe-mmunity.

If you can turn a three-word text into a 45-minute psychological breakdown… welcome home.

Nalee’s Hypothetical Hotline exists for the people who rehearse arguments in the shower and lose sleep over imaginary conversations. Submit your spirals. We’ll spiral louder. And with microphones.

Because if we’re overthinking, we’re doing it professionally.

Love drama but hate being involved in it? Perfect.

Twin Tangents Court is our fast-paced spin-off where we judge everyone so you don’t have to. Dating disasters. Friendship felonies. Domestic disturbances. We try the case. We deliver the verdict.

New episodes drop every other Friday at 8 AM Central. Bring your coffee. Bring your screenshots. Court is now in session.

Just when you thought the chaos was over—Anthony and Nalee invite you to keep the tangents going. With a soft outro vibe and one last wink to the listener, this post-roll points you toward the Twin Tangents website and socials for more unfiltered content. Because if you’re still here, you clearly get it… and we love that for you.

🎙️ Stay connected with Twin Tangents Because Therapy Was Booked
Unfiltered. Unexpected. Unbothered.

🌐 Website: www.twintangentspodcast.com
All our socials, episodes, and contact info live here.

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Transcript

NALEE 0:49

Alright, ring ring, motherfucker. Anyways, welcome back to Nolly's Hypothetical Hotline. And today's topic is, would you still trust someone who only shows up when they need something? Today's title is called The Selective Friend. Alright, so you start noticing a pattern, and once you see it, you can't unsee it. This isn't a random behavior. It's consistent, predictable, almost structured. The only they only

The Selective Friend Question

NALEE 1:20

initiate contact under one condition, need. You look at the data in your head. No check-ins during stable periods, no engagement when things are fine, immediate escalation when they're in distress. It's not friendship behavior, it's conditional access behavior. So at first you treat it like a coincidence. You rationalize it, like, nah, they're just going through a lot. It's okay. So you respond every time because responsiveness feels like responsibility. But over time, the pattern strengthens instead of changing. Their system is simple. When they're in need of a crisis or when they're going through a crisis, it's activate connection. They constantly message you, they make sure that they check in with you. And then when it's stable, they disconnect. It's as if like they're ghosting and you don't hear back from them from weeks. And you unknowingly become the emergency contact function in their life. Then you test something. You don't respond once. No explanation, no confrontation, just silence. And suddenly the pattern reacts immediately. Multiple attempts, increased urgency, escalation to contact frequency. Not for you, not concern for you, but disruption of access. All right. So the gut punch moment is the relationship isn't built on mutual connection, but it's built on predictable utility. In your opinion, or the central question, I guess, overall is is a friendship, oh my goodness, is it still a friend? Speaking's hard. I know I really asked it Sunday. Speaking's always hard for me. Anyways, it is a oh my God. Is it a friendship if it only activates when you are needed?

ANTHONY 3:02

No, no, friendship is a two-way street. It's a give and take thing. So if it's only a matter of you coming around when you need me, right? That's what like I'm understanding that, right?

NALEE 3:13

Yeah, yep, yep, yep.

ANTHONY 3:14

Yeah, no, that's not I I don't I wouldn't consider that a friendship. I would consider that more of like a what's below a friendship, but still A not friendship? No, there's something between like a friendship and acquaintance? Acquaintance.

NALEE 3:27

Okay.

ANTHONY 3:28

Yeah, that's more of an acquaintance. Like, okay, so you're only coming around when I

Utility Versus Real Friendship

ANTHONY 3:33

can have something that you need from me.

NALEE 3:36

Like when it benefits them.

ANTHONY 3:37

When it benefits them, yeah.

NALEE 3:39

Okay. Do you well I I mean, do you agree or do you have a I want to play devil's advocate here before I ask before I tell you my answer. What if though, like even if like that's the case, what if I feel safe coming to you and I have nobody else to go to? Does that still apply? That it's not really a friendship, it's just wreaking your benefits, reaping your benefits or whatever?

ANTHONY 4:01

Well, for the sake of this hypothetical, I would say that's not the case because unless I'm misinterpreting your hypothetical, that like this only sounds like they only come to me when they need something. Like I that's that's that's great if I'm the only person that you trust and then I'm the only person that you feel that you can get, you know, an honest answer out of, and that that's why you come to me. But from what I'm getting from this hypothetical, you're only coming to me when you have these problems. You're never coming to me to be like, oh my God, I found these shoes on sale at Target and it was such a great deal. And aren't these cute? It's only, hey, Anthony, I'm going through this. What do you think? What can you give me? What information can you give me? So am I like, am I my question to you is am I misunderstanding the scenario? Are they coming to me for other things or are they only coming to me when they need my advice?

NALEE 4:54

No, you're not. I think I was just, again, I was just playing devil's advocate that like, let's just say with this, with this scenario included, and obviously they come to you only when they only come to you when it's when you're needed. But again, to add on, you are the only person that they trust. Like, would you still feel like you're only using me for your own benefits and you're not really giving a shit about the relationship? Or if that is that more of like a dependency issue?

ANTHONY 5:25

If that were the case, that definitely is not a friendship. What was the last part you said about being a dependency issue? Can you rephrase that?

NALEE 5:35

Yeah, like is it is it I forgot what I said.

ANTHONY 5:44

Some bitch is asking questions, she don't even know what she's saying. I don't even know what I'm saying.

NALEE 5:48

Okay, well, anyways, it's Memorial Day, but and my main my brain's mush, it's Monday, we should be working, but we ate. Honestly, it feels like just I know, just like a side tangent. It feels like I got out of jail for free, kind of today. So I'm just kind of like, whatever the fuck, like we're back at the further. Yeah, pretty much. But I don't but my question is like, even if they are just using you for your for your for their benefit, what if that is part of the situation where like you are the only person that they have? And it's like, would you consider that more of dependency, like codependency on your their part? Or would you still say that that's not like a true friendship? It's more of like an acquaintance or a utilization of a person?

ANTHONY 6:36

I would say that that's not a true friendship, and that's more of a utilization of me.

NALEE 6:40

Okay.

ANTHONY 6:40

I mean, that's great. I've I feel very honored, and I I I'm happy that I'm the type of person that you feel confident in coming to and confiding in, and that you can rely on me. But if you're only coming to me to take advantage of that, that's not a friendship.

SPEAKER_02 7:01

Okay.

ANTHONY 7:01

It's like us, I feel like. Like sometimes like I'll come to you for things or you'll come to me for things, but there's also like the whole, you know, like randomly, I'll just be like, what's up, slut? Like, I'm not just coming to you when I need your advice or when I need your opinion, or like I'm genuinely texting you, or well, I don't like talking on the phone, so I don't really call unless I absolutely have to.

NALEE 7:26

But like I'm just I call just to get on your nerves.

ANTHONY 7:28

Yeah, you damn fucking little bitch. But I will text you just because, just because you're on my mind and I'm thinking of you, or I like there are times that like it'll be like, oh, we haven't texted in a couple hours, and I'm scrolling on on TikTok or Facebook, and I see that you've posted something, and it'll be like, Oh, that's a really good picture of her. And then I'll like text you and be like, Yeah. No, I might not even text you and be like, oh, that's a good picture. I might just text you to be like, You fucking slut, put on some goddamn clothes.

NALEE 7:59

Yeah. Okay, yeah, I totally agree. My answer to everything is no, regardless of if you they come to you for a codependent codependency's sake or for asking for your advice or your validation or whatever. When it is only for their benefit, that's not a friendship. That's definitely utilization. And I think that's fucked up.

ANTHONY 8:21

I agree. And I think if that's gonna be the case, bitch you go, I'm gonna be on payroll. Okay. Yeah. You're gonna put me on your payroll.

NALEE 8:29

Yeah, exactly. Like you said, I'm gonna send you an invoice.

ANTHONY 8:31

I'm not gonna therapise your ass for free. Not today, so exactly.

NALEE 8:35

Exactly. And I think that if you feel like you're being utilized, it don't hurt to tell the other person, hey, like, you know, I appreciate that you come to me and I appreciate that you feel comfortable sharing me these kind sharing with me these kind of things, but I feel like you're only coming to me when it's benefiting you.

ANTHONY 8:57

Yeah. Like because Yeah, like would it kill you to just text me and be like, hey, what are you doing today?

NALEE 9:03

Yeah. Instead of being Or can we talk about something else?

ANTHONY 9:05

Yeah. Instead of just being

Boundaries When You Feel Used

ANTHONY 9:07

like, hey, so my cousin called me and this bitch, like, uh-uh, we ain't doing that. Yeah. We ain't doing that.

NALEE 9:16

And I just wanted to piggyback off of what you said in regards to like, you know, how like we text each other every day. And then when a couple hours goes by, we're just like, hey, are you dead? What's going on?

ANTHONY 9:27

Um Yeah, if I don't hear from you, I think you're dead in a ditch.

NALEE 9:30

Or something else. I but anyways, but what I was gonna say was is that I think when it comes to friendship, there has to be substance. Like, I think as I've grown older and as I've had like multiple friendships and fallouts and stuff like that, I think what I've come to realize is is that when a friendship sticks, it's because you guys have substance. Like you guys like the same things, you guys have the same humor, you guys talk about similar things, or even if you don't like the same things, you share little bits and pieces of your day, your of your world with them, even if it's for two seconds, even if it's, you know, even if you talk on the phone for like two, three hours. I think you both benefit from the relationship compared to compared to it being one-sided. And I think when it's those kind of dynamics where it's like I'm only coming to you for for my benefit, you easily resent that person because you're just like, okay, what about me? What about like, what do I get out of this? Or and it sounds selfish of like, oh, like why what do I get out of this? But at the same time, that's kind of what a friendship is. Like you're there for each other when I need you and when you need me. You know what I mean?

ANTHONY 10:46

I don't think it sounds selfish at all. I completely agree with everything that you're saying, uh, except for the fact that I don't think it sounds selfish at all. I think it's only fair. Like I said earlier, it's it's it's a two-way street.

NALEE 10:58

Like, okay. Yeah, I agree.

ANTHONY 11:00

Yeah, I know, I agree with everything that you said. And I think I feel like you and I had this conversation, God, I don't even know how long ago. But we had a conversation about like the substance within a relationship and the what's being brought to the table.

NALEE 11:17

Yeah.

ANTHONY 11:17

Right. So like Okay. Okay, so like I've had friends where it was like the only time that they would text me is because they wanted to go out drinking and that's all that they wanted to do. Hey, let's go to the bar, let's go out this Friday night, hey, let's go out this Saturday night. But there was never during the week, there was never like, hey, do you want to get dinner? Hey, do you wanna go to a movie? Hey, do you wanna come over and just shoot the shit and binge watch Stranger Things and talk about whatever.

NALEE 11:51

Yeah.

ANTHONY 11:51

So like for me, as I've gotten older, and I think again, this is something that you and I have discussed, is like those relationships. We've I'm gonna speak for myself. I'm not gonna speak for you, but like I've evaluated, I've re-evaluated those relationships and where if there's not substance to that relationship other than, hey, it's Friday night, come over, we're gonna go out, we're gonna get crunk. Like, yeah, bitch, I'm almost 40. I don't want to do that no more. I don't, I don't think face. What?

NALEE 12:19

Your face looked legit disgust. You're like, but I can't do it. I looked ugly. Yeah.

ANTHONY 12:25

I have this legit, I don't know, do you want to call it like a belief or whatever, but like as you get older, you know how they say there's a season? What's that phrase that they always say? There's there's a time for every season. Yeah, something like that. But it's like there's periods of your life that are meant to be periods. Like the going out, the going out and going to the bars and getting drunk, that's great in your 20s, in your earliest.

NALEE 12:52

Well, I'm in that season, so you can't judge.

ANTHONY 12:59

Disagree there. We'll agree to disagree there. But like these all these things have certain they exist for certain time periods and certain seasons of your life. Right now, I'm in a season where if you're not feeding me, whether that be mentally, emotionally, if you're not stimulating me, I don't, yeah, I don't need it. I don't like if you're gonna text me and be like, oh my god, did you see what Brie wore on Selling Sunset? Okay, yeah, maybe I watched Selling Sunset, but like that's not the substance of a conversation that I want to have.

NALEE 13:36

Yeah. Yeah, I get what you mean. I agree. I think uh that's that's definitely something I've learned about relationships in general, like whether it's like dating or whether it's friendships or whatever. It's about the stimulation for me. Like, is it mentally stimulating me? Is it emotionally stimulating me? Like, is it challenging me? Is it making is it helping me grow, you know? And I think a lot of relationships, like what you said, it is like seasons. They come and go. And some people aren't meant to always stay, some people are meant to go. And, you know, you outgrow people. And sometimes, you know, when you are going through like periods of your life, like you said, I'm totally like just saying whatever the fuck you just said. But when you go through periods of in your life, like you come to realize that not everybody stays, and even you don't always stay. Like, you don't stay in everybody's life, too. You may be the one who leaves, you may be the one who stays. And I think as an adult, I think we don't give ourselves enough grace to be like, hey, you know what? I've either outgrown the situation or it's no longer stimulating me and I need to move on, you know? And we feel we get that guilt of like, oh, like, yeah, you know, we we've done this, we've done that, blah, blah, blah. But it's at the same time, it's just like, well, they've done their part already. What more do you want? You know what I mean? What more can you get from this? And I think I was looking at the talking points, and we literally just went over like all of them. So, yeah, so I'm not gonna talk about the talking points, but I think what I wanted to just kind of branch out into is just talking about like friendships and relationships, is that like I think a lot of people they just they stay stagnant in relationships because they feel like they have it's kind of transactional where they're like, okay, well, they've done this for me, now I have to do this for them. But they don't realize that when it's a genuine friendship, like there's no, there's no transaction. You do it because you actually want to do it and you don't expect anything out of it. And when you expect something out of it, then that's kind of not really a relationship. It becomes more of like a expectation. Yeah, an expectation. Yeah, that's that's the word I was looking for. And the reason why I was saying that is because I'm kind of looking at this situation from the outside of somebody who comes to you when they when it only benefits them. I think you could kind of look at it both ways, depending on the type of person you are. Like for me, yes, it's fucked up that you only come to me when you need advice or you need validation or whatever. But then again, it's half and half for me. Like, it'd be hard for me to be like, no, I don't want to be in this relationship just because you are like benefiting out from my validation. But at the same time, it's also the situations of like, what have we been through? What have, you know, it's hard not to think like that. Like, what have we been through? What what have you done for me? And like all that stuff. So it's really hard for me. Like, it is fucked up, but at the same time, I can't fully be like, nah, like fuck you, or whatever. Like, this isn't a friendship or whatever. For me, it's it's it's hard, I guess. I can't be like one way or the other, and kind of like in the middle.

ANTHONY 17:36

You're talking about like ending a friendship, right?

NALEE 17:39

Yeah, yeah.

ANTHONY 17:40

I'm the exact same way. Like, I can't just like after I've had like a friendship and I've had a relationship and we've gone through things and we've confided in each other, it, you know, certain things, like I can't just cut you off. I'm done. Like, I want nothing to do with you. And this kind of goes back to what I was saying earlier. It's like you've just been downgraded from a friend to more of an acquaintance. I'll still respect you. I'll still be cordial with you in public, but I'm never and maybe I'm wrong. If any, if anybody who is listening or watching this out there thought we were friends and now they're like, Anthony's a fucking dick. He doesn't give

Downgrading Friends With Respect

ANTHONY 18:19

me the goddamn time of day. Call me out on it. Text me if you have my number, message me on socials. I don't care. But like, as far as I can recall, like, I don't think that there's anybody that I've ever just completely like, nope, I'm not talking to you. Like, yeah. Well, I mean my mother, but that's a that's another story. But I like, I don't think that there's anybody that I'm like, nope, I'm done with you. I don't want anything to do with you. Don't call me, don't text me, don't if I see you in public, don't even look my way. I don't think that there's anybody like that. Okay. No, I'm not gonna say that there's not people that like I'm not gonna I'll walk past in public and be like, hey, how you doing? And then as soon as I walk past and be like, that fucking bitch. Bitch. Like, I'm not gonna say that I haven't done that or won't do that.

NALEE 19:08

I mean, nobody could honestly, I don't think anybody could say that they don't do that though. Cause I mean, I do that. Sometimes I'd be even be like, yeah, I'd even be like, ugh, and then move on. I'd say to your face if I was feeling it.

ANTHONY 19:20

Yeah. But I story time with Anthony. I will tell you there was there was one girl that I used to work with years ago in the mall.

NALEE 19:29

Mm-hmm.

ANTHONY 19:30

And I don't know what her deal was with me. She just, she never liked me. She was never nice to me. I always got dirty looks. It was what it was. And then it was probably at least a decade later. She came into a restaurant that I was working at, and I had to wait on her and a friend. And obviously I'm working, so I have to be professional. And again, I'm not the type of person to be like, oh, he fucking fucking price spitting her burger. Yeah. I didn't. I didn't.

NALEE 19:58

I was like, not that we know of.

ANTHONY 20:00

No, I didn't. I I've only ever done one bad thing to somebody's food. And but you know, she was cordial. It was a different setting. It was a different time. We were a lot older, at least, you know, 10 years, whatever. And she, I'll never forget this. She actually tipped me like 40%, like way above, you know, the standard. And she even wrote a little note, thanks for the great service. It was good seeing you.

SPEAKER_02 20:32

Yeah. Okay, I see you.

ANTHONY 20:35

Fucking bitch. No, I'm just kidding.

SPEAKER_02 20:37

Fucking bitch.

ANTHONY 20:38

But I don't know. It's just, I don't know where I was going with that story, but I just wanted to tell a story.

NALEE 20:46

I just even if you guys aren't acquaintances or besties or whatever, like you could be cordial with somebody.

ANTHONY 20:52

Yeah, and you can still be respectful of people.

NALEE 20:54

Yeah. I agree with that. I think, and I didn't think of it that way. Like it's the thing of two things can be true at once at the same time. Like you've gone through, like you've gone through a lot with this person, but at the same time, it's just not the same anymore. Like it's not how it used to be.

ANTHONY 21:10

And that's okay.

NALEE 21:11

But that's okay too. Yeah, exactly.

ANTHONY 21:15

Your path's met, and it doesn't mean that path is gonna stay together.

NALEE 21:19

Yeah.

ANTHONY 21:19

At some point, somebody's gonna branch off. Like it's just part of life.

NALEE 21:24

And I think the most important part though is when when you come back though, like when you you do see each other, like what you're saying, where you saw each other and you were like a little bitch behind her back, but then she still tipped you 40 bucks, and it's it's that moment where you're like, hmm, you know, like you you were a part of my life, or you know, you could be nostalgic with this person, or wow, we went through all this together and look at where we are now, even if we're not on the same path. You know what I mean? And I think that's the sad and the beautiful part about it is that even though we're not close anymore or whatever, it's fine, but damn, we've we've gone through some stuff. You know what I mean?

ANTHONY 22:01

Yes, a hundred percent.

NALEE 22:03

Yeah.

ANTHONY 22:03

And just speaking for myself here, I'm one of those people that like I will never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never wish ill will on anybody, regardless of what they've done to me.

NALEE 22:16

I beg to differ, but that's just me. I'm just kidding.

ANTHONY 22:21

That gif.

SPEAKER_02 22:24

Wow, that was some point. Holy shit, your neck hurt a little bit?

NALEE 22:30

Yo, you fucking twisted all the way. I'm like, oh, neck.

ANTHONY 22:34

Bent neck lady who?

NALEE 22:35

Yeah, exactly. Fucking bitch.

ANTHONY 22:39

Bent neck lady who's not double. Yeah.

NALEE 22:44

Yes. Fucking stupid. I can't.

ANTHONY 22:46

But no, I would I I would never wish ill will on anybody, regardless of what they've done to me.

NALEE 22:51

Yeah. I think I'm the same. I think that's what makes it makes you and I such great people. I agree. Because I mean, I I think we talk a lot of shit and we say like a lot of shit about people, but again, I'm not gonna speak for you. I will speak for myself. But I could see that obviously you and I are very similar. Yeah. But even if If somebody has done like the baddest of the bad to me, I would never wish them death. I would never wish them anything bad. Again, do I wish that they stub their toe every once in a while? Do I wish that they get stuck in the door by the doorknob? Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 23:27

Yeah.

NALEE 23:28

Maybe maybe twice a day, maybe three times even. But do I wish death on you? No. Lose a toe? Maybe.

ANTHONY 23:35

Okay, maybe not lose a toe. Even that might be a little excessive for me, but like okay, yeah.

NALEE 23:39

Maybe not lose a toe.

ANTHONY 23:40

Like Do I hope that at the top lose a toe? Do I hope that at the end of the day my day was better than theirs?

NALEE 23:45

Yeah. A thousand percent. Yeah.

ANTHONY 23:48

Nothing malicious.

NALEE 23:50

Exactly. Sometimes malicious. I don't know. Okay.

ANTHONY 23:53

I have to.

NALEE 23:53

Yeah, let's not go there. I could get dark.

ANTHONY 23:56

You said something that I have to I have to tell a really funny, well, kind of funny story you might enjoy.

NALEE 24:01

Okay.

ANTHONY 24:02

So going back to when I was on vacation, I don't know if I told you this or not, but we booked like the thermal suite, so we had access to like all the different like the spa and the dry sauna and the No, you didn't tell me. Yeah. So we had it every single day. We could just walk in, spend some time in there. They had a men's locker room, they had a women's locker room. And so you when you walk in, and then you go

Vacation Fail With A Simple Door

ANTHONY 25:11

into the locker room, there's a separate door that takes you like right into the spa.

NALEE 25:16

Okay.

ANTHONY 25:17

Oh my god, I'm such a fucking idiot. So I'm like, okay, so I changed, I got on my robe, I went into the spa. And I'm like, da-da-da-da-da, going all the rooms. And then I'm like, oh, I'm gonna go get the last thing that I would always do was they had these heated thermal loungers that you could lay on.

NALEE 25:37

Okay, bougie.

ANTHONY 25:38

Bougie, right? So I'm like, okay, well, I'm gonna go back in the locker room and I'm gonna get my earbuds and my phone so I can listen to my audiobooks. So I go to the door and I can't get the door open. I'm like, what the fuck? I'm like, I'm pressing my key. I'm like, what am I doing wrong? So I'm like, alright. So I went all the way around and I went out into like the main public area to re-enter the locker room. Bitch. It wasn't until like day three I realized the reason I couldn't get into the men's locker room through the spa was because I was. What was I doing? I was pushing on a pull door.

NALEE 26:25

I thought I was the dumb one. That's something I would do. No. Were you like, wait, did Nolly just enter my head? I was Nolly here somewhere?

ANTHONY 26:33

There was one point I was watching, I was like, okay, how's this? I was watching somebody try to get into the locker room from the spa. And I'm like, oh, I've been doing the door the wrong way this entire fucking time.

NALEE 26:46

Oh my god.

ANTHONY 26:48

I felt so stupid.

NALEE 26:50

Okay.

ANTHONY 26:51

Okay, that's it.

NALEE 26:52

I'm gonna have I have a golly story too, but I'm I'm just gonna side tangent because I feel like we have a little bit of time. You might laugh, you may not laugh, you may not be surprised, you may be surprised.

ANTHONY 27:03

After what I just told you, I hope I laugh.

NALEE 27:05

No, okay, so this is this is uh this is an experience that I had during my dating period or whatever. So my God. I told Khalia about this and we fucking laughed our asses off. But it was really bad. Okay, so I I went on a date with this person that I've been talking to. And so then we went to this, it's like it's like a speakeasy place, and it's like a boba shop, but then upstairs they have like a little bar, a speakeasy, which is like private like bar or whatever. And so then we were, it was like downtown Minneapolis, and like parking is like shit. So you have to kind of like park in the street or find parking or whatever. And so then we were having a hard time finding parking because we drove separately, and so then I already parked, which is rare because I fucking suck at parking. Anyone who knows me, like I'm horrible at parking, I'm horrible at finding parking, I'm horrible with anything when it comes to a car and parking and location and everything direction-wise. But anyways, I was really I was really proud of myself and I was like, oh yeah.

The Magic Carpet Staircase Date

NALEE 28:07

And I saw him drive by and I was like waving to him, like, ha ha, sucker. I found a parking first. And so then I called him and I'm like, hey, like I'm at the spot. I saw that you just drove past me, so I'm gonna go use the bathroom first and then just let me know when you're here or when you're parked or whatever. And so I go in, so just to kind of give you guys like an example of how it looks like. So right when you there's like two big black doors. White, right when you enter in, there's like an elevator, but you can't access it on on the side that you're on. It's on the other side, and then right to your right, there's like five steps of stairs. And then when you go up the stairs, when you look like when you turn to your left, then they have like the bulba stand there. And then kind of like in front of you when you walk up the stairs, there's like couches that you could sit on. And so then I go up to the barista or the the gate, the girl at the cashier. Mind you, I was in this cute ass outfit. I was wearing like a cute outfit. I was wearing a skirt, and I had like, I was wearing like really thick boots, like it was like heel boots, but it was like it was a really cute outfit. And so this will, I promise you, this detail will like be important later. But anyways, and so then I go and ask the lady, I was like, hey, like, do you guys have a bathroom here or whatever? She's like, Yeah, if you go to the back, like to the left here, and if you go to the back, the bathroom's over there. And so I'm like, oh, okay. So I then I go and use a bathroom, but before I go to the bathroom, there's like a door with a light on it. So I'm like, oh, okay. And prior to the date, he was just like, I was telling him jokingly that, oh, like I'm gonna go to the the bar by myself. And he's like, Well, you have to find the secret door. And in order for you to find the secret door, I have to go with you so I could tell you where it's at. So I'm like, okay, and so then I back to when I was walking to the bathroom, I'm like, hmm, why is there a light on this door? And so then I was just like, okay, whatever. So I keep walking, I use the bathroom, and then I forgot to check my phone when I was in the bathroom, like after I washed my hands or whatever. And so then I didn't check my phone, and so oh my god, I'm already gonna die. And so when I was walking back up, I was gonna go back out to see if he's he came out yet, like if he parked whatever. And so then I passed the lady, the cashier, and I'm going down the stairs, right? But as I go down the stairs, for some reason the carpet was like hanging over the step. And so then I fucking slipped and the carpet went with me down the stairs. Fucking railing. And then I was wearing, like I said, I was wearing a cute outfit. I was wearing a skirt, and I'm pretty sure they had it on camera. And like whoever was, if anybody was in front of me, they probably would have seen like everything. And so then I was like holding on to the fucking railing like this. And like I had to pull myself back up. And so then I literally disappeared when I was like from the stairs, and so I got up, and then I was like, oh my god. And so then I went back up the stairs, and the lady at the cashier, she was laughing, and I'm like, oh my god, I'm so sorry. I don't know, like your rug like made me slip. Like, you might have to fix it. She's like, no, it's okay, it's fine. And so at this point, I'm like embarrassed as fuck. And so then I decided to walk back down the stairs carefully this time, holding on to the railing. And so then I walked out the door, and like, mind you, like I had this whole thing happened, so I'm like super embarrassed. And I finally then checked my phone and he said, Oh, I'm already inside, come up to the bar. I'm like, fuck, now I have to go back inside and face this lady in that this whole shit just happened. The moment I opened the door, all you fucking hear was, ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. That bitch was fucking hollow. And so then I opened the door and I go back up the stairs carefully, and I'm like, hey, do you guys have a bar here? Like, where's the bar? And she's like, Oh yeah, you know that door that you passed the light, that's the way to go up to the bar. And I'm just like, fuck, I'm so embarrassed. And so she was like laughing, and then I was still laughing too, because I was like that embarrassed. And so then I was laughing, and then I was like, it's okay, like it's it's fine. Like, you might have to fix your carpet, but it's fine, I'm good. And she's like, But are you okay? And I was like, Yeah, I'm fine. And so then I'm like still laughing. I'm like chuckling on my way to that door, and so then the door has like two steps of stairs, and so then here I'm like carefully walking up the stairs, and then the my date was like at the top of the stairs, and so I was like fucking laughing, and then when I got up to him, he was just like, Why are you laughing? And I was just like, bro, I just took a fucking magic carpet ride down the fucking stairs, and he was just like, What do you mean? And I was like, I was like, it's a good thing you weren't there because I like slipped down the stairs with the carpet, and like it was really embarrassing, and then he was just like, What do you mean? I was like, Well, that's what I'm saying. I took a fucking magic carpet ride down the fucking stairs because I went with the fucking carpet, and so then I was like laughing the whole time, and then the the person who was seating us, the waitress, he took us to her seat, and then when I sat when I sat down, I was still giggling for like 10 minutes because I was so like embarrassed, and then he was like, he was trying to calm me down, and he was just like, it's okay, like the only person who saw you, like the only two person that saw you was is not there anymore, and you're up here and the other person is down there, so it's fine, calm down. And I'm like, So you're telling me that this situation is not funny to you at all? And then he was like trying to keep a straight face, and so then I'm like, So you're telling me me taking a magic carpet ride didn't is doesn't seem funny to you at all. And he just started bursting out laughing. I'm like, see, I knew it was embarrassing, like it's so embarrassing. He's like, Yeah, but it's okay, like it's fine. And then I was just like, it's a good thing you weren't there because it would have been very embarrassing. He's like, Yeah, if I was there, I probably would have just bought a boba and left. I'm like, you fucking bitch.

ANTHONY 33:54

Okay.

NALEE 33:54

First of all, kudos to I already told you, yeah, I already told you how he was. So I'm like a jerk, but it's fine.

ANTHONY 34:01

Kudos to you for telling him, because I probably wouldn't have.

NALEE 34:06

Second of all-I mean, at this point he's seen like really bad stuff. Like, I've yeah. Anyways, I think that was like that was like the sprinkle on the ice cream that wasn't even a big deal, but no, it was really funny because he was just like, Why are you giggling so much? And I'm like, bro, I fucking fell like a dumbass. Okay, just and I was like, I guarantee you, oh, go ahead.

ANTHONY 34:28

I was gonna say, just the fact that you called it magic carpet ride, that's what makes it funny.

NALEE 34:33

No, it was hilarious. Literally, when I fell down, I guarantee you I blacked out for like three seconds.

SPEAKER_02 34:39

Oh my god. I was like, when I got up, I was like, wait, what am I holding on to?

NALEE 34:44

I was like holding on to the railing. Oh my god, it was so funny. I was just like, dude, I swear to God, I'm gonna be bruised by the time I get home. And I kid you not, I had I had like a big ass like bump on my chest right here, and then my hand, like right here, was bruised up. It was from the railing because I fucking rammed my body up against the railing. I was like, holding on to it so tight. I felt like fucking jack holding onto the board from fucking Titanic, not thinking. That's what I fucking felt like.

ANTHONY 35:15

You should have gone to the woman and be like, can I get a copy of that security footage?

NALEE 35:19

No, that would have been hilarious. Oh, thought of that. I should have thought of that. I don't know if they record, but they probably did. Maybe I'll maybe I'll call her and be like, hey, you remember me like a couple weeks ago. I filled on the stairs. Do you have that on recording? You should have been low. It was fucking hilarious. I need a laol. Oh my god, for real, I should have. Workers cop! Workers cop lawsuit. I should have done that. Damn. You know what? It's not too late.

ANTHONY 35:46

You ain't thinking.

NALEE 35:47

It's not too late. But, anyways, no, no, I was too embarrassed to even think about all that shit. That was fucking hilarious. I just stood up and I just started fucking laughing. I'm like, did that just really fucking happen? And I was like, of course I would be the dumb bitch who dressed cute but falls on the fucking stairs. That was pretty funny, though.

ANTHONY 36:05

There's gotta be one because you pick up how many stairs did you fall down?

SPEAKER_02 36:09

Like that's the whole set of stairs. That's not embarrassing. That's how embarrassing it was. No, legit.

NALEE 36:17

Like no, like the stairs, it was really tight. You know, like there's different widths of stairs.

ANTHONY 36:24

Yeah.

NALEE 36:25

The stairs are really tight, and my boots were really they were really thick and they were really big too. And so then, like, I think that's right.

SPEAKER_02 36:36

For the step, so that's when my shoe got caught on the carpet, and I just fucking down the fucking step.

ANTHONY 36:47

That is a video that I would love to have seen.

NALEE 36:50

Like, not gonna lie. My body, my body was like, my whole body stretched out the whole fucking way of the stairs, but I was holding on to the railing like it was it was so hilarious, but it was so embarrassing. I literally got up and I was like, hey girl, fix yourself and get out. The fact that I had to face this bitch twice. I was just gonna say the fact you had to walk back up them stairs. Yeah, and the the way that I heard her hollering, I was like, should I even should I even go in at this point? Like, is there any point anymore? But I was like, you know what? You need a drink after this fucking fall.

ANTHONY 37:28

And so you're go ahead. Sorry.

NALEE 37:30

Well, that's it. But I'm used to being in I'm used to embarrassing myself. So I'm like, this ain't even nothing, it's fine.

ANTHONY 37:35

And so this guy, you're not seeing him anymore, right?

NALEE 37:37

I am still seeing him.

ANTHONY 37:38

Oh, is that the one?

NALEE 37:40

Yeah. Yeah.

ANTHONY 37:41

Oh.

NALEE 37:42

Yeah. That's why I said he's he he's dealt with it. And when he said I would have gotten a boba tea and left, I was like, you bitch. But I mean, that's how we talk, so I get it.

SPEAKER_02 37:51

Okay.

NALEE 37:51

Yeah, it was funny. He just started fucking laughing. I'm like, don't fucking tell me that that shit was not hilarious. Because it was.

ANTHONY 37:58

Why did he go into the bar? He told you that you can't go into the bar because he you needed him to show you where it was.

NALEE 38:06

That was his joke, is that I can't go without him. So that we could go together. That was his way of saying we could go together. I mean.

ANTHONY 38:14

But then he went without you.

NALEE 38:15

Yeah, exactly. Exactly. And he had the audacity to say, that's what happens when you don't wait for me. I'm like, wow, all I had to do was go pee. You should have hurried up.

ANTHONY 38:24

And that's when you should have looked at him and you should have gone.

SPEAKER_02 38:28

No, bitch. I already did that on the stairs. I know how to do it twice. I did that on the stairs. Like, you're so fucking stupid. Oh my god. Telling that shit made my voice disappear.

NALEE 38:43

Holy shit. No, it was only you. I think I think I think this tops my most embarrassing moment ever. Like falling down the stairs at the New Year's, people helped me. I think that was fine. But the fact that only one other person was there, and it was me. Bitch, that shit was fucking hilarious. But yeah, I don't know. I had fun. It hurt, but it's fine.

ANTHONY 39:10

As long as you had fun, that's all that matters.

NALEE 39:13

Yeah. No, it's it was fucking hilarious.

ANTHONY 39:16

You. Only you.

NALEE 39:17

When I told I know, when I told Polly about it, she started fucking laughing. Cause when I got up to the stairs and I texted her, I'm like, bitch, I took a magic carpet right down the stairs. She's like, what do you mean? I was like, I fucking slipped. I slipped up five steps of stairs. She fucking started laughing so fucking loud.

ANTHONY 39:33

When you told the guy, he probably should have responded to you with I can show you the world.

NALEE 39:40

No, literally, but I don't think he knew. But loser. Ugh. It was so funny. He is a loser. It was funny. Damn. Well, that's it. That's our story time.

ANTHONY 39:53

Storytime's now come to a close.

NALEE 39:54

Yes. All in all, when it comes to friendship, y'all, don't let people utilize you.

ANTHONY 40:01

Two-way street. Fiddickety. Check in on each other.

NALEE 40:04

Exactly. Stimulate each other, challenge each other, be there for each other. Mentally, emotionally, maybe physically. I don't know. Do what you do. But ew.

unknown 40:16

Oh, wait.

ANTHONY 40:17

What even is that? I'm meant to do this.

NALEE 40:19

Is that E.T.?

ANTHONY 40:20

No. You don't know what this is?

NALEE 40:21

No. What that?

ANTHONY 40:22

You said stimulate each other.

NALEE 40:24

Yeah. How do you stimulate each other with that?

ANTHONY 40:26

Two in the pink, one in the stink.

NALEE 40:28

Ew! Nasty. I'm like, is this like a sign? Is this like a gang sign or something?

ANTHONY 40:37

Yeah.

NALEE 40:37

What's up?

ANTHONY 40:39

Just kidding. I probably shouldn't say that.

NALEE 40:41

All right. Well, everybody, we will see you again two Wednesdays from now for Nolly's hypothetical hotline. And

Final Takeaways And Goodbye

NALEE 40:49

maybe some more embarrassing stories. All right.

ANTHONY 40:51

Most likely.

NALEE 40:52

Bye. Bye.